Page 7 - Episode 132: Stud In Heaven

Episode Date: August 13, 2015

Henry Zebrowski joins us today to talk about the Olsen intern scandal, the probable murder of Bobbi, and the death of Frank Gifford, Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page... 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Everybody be sleeping No, roomba's noisy Oh yeah, Roombos would just go like I fucking love a Roomba I could watch a Roomba do its thing For three hours I got a Roomba, did I tell you that? No, you fucking didn't
Starting point is 00:00:16 Well, welcome to page 7 everybody First of all Wait a second, you got a Roomba? I've had a Roomba What? Poor people don't have Roomba It's the same class as a normal vacuum cleaner Well, that's why you don't have a vacuum cleaner So it's like you buy organic milk and like the tiniest quail eggs from the farmer's market,
Starting point is 00:00:34 but then you have a robot slave? I think they have feelings. That's Henry Zabrowski making a very good point, Molly. I'm sorry, I'm also Jackie Zabrowski. We're all here. Hey, Marcus. I thank the robot for its service whenever it cleans. Whenever it goes back home, it sings a little song.
Starting point is 00:00:52 It seems very happy. And I don't buy quail eggs or organic milk. Whatever. I know what you do. Yeah, but organic milk tastes like cream. It does taste very good. I get almond milk and soy milk, which people have other issues with. Don't get me started, Molly.
Starting point is 00:01:07 Almond milk, so you're the one that's contributing to California drying up. Hell yeah. Hell yeah, I say buy all it up. All the almond milk, man. Fuck California. No, it's just fucking almond sitting in water and it's excrement. You're just drinking expensive shit. Well, you know, we could talk about what dairy milk is and it's basically pussy discharge.
Starting point is 00:01:27 I love it. See, that's the best part. The discharge is the best part. I just remember that I picked this a bad battle because I know the Zabrowski's love milk. I want to grab a big sloshy udder all full of milk and squeeze it into my mouth. Although, I don't know. Have you ever had hot milk out of a cow? No, why would I?
Starting point is 00:01:46 It doesn't taste good. When did you do that? I did it on a farm. I squirt it out. Did you put it in your mouth? No, I didn't put the udder in my mouth because the utter had all these, like, bristly hairs. And it was also chunkier than I thought it would be. But I did squeeze the teat and it came out into the little jar and she was like, oh, you should drink it.
Starting point is 00:02:07 And I drank it. And then I almost threw up. That'll happen. It's just too much from my system. Well, I'm not Amish. No, you're not. I could be. I mean, they fucking stink.
Starting point is 00:02:18 The Amish stink and they got a bad attitude. It's just because they wear wool and they can't have zippers. They could have zippers. No, they have to have button. They could have zippers. Yeah, there's nothing futuristic about a zipper. To the Amish. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:02:33 Only buttons. They're scared of zippers. That's silly. Because they're peepies. They're scared to get in the peepies caught. Tell me, I get a, ooh, my heart quickens. Every time I go to take a tis in the fucking bathroom. And I try to set my T-C's.
Starting point is 00:02:49 When I take my T-T in the bathroom, when I get so scared for the very tip of my penis. Because I'm like, oh, don't zip too. fast. So I tuck it back. No, no. I'm being fun. This could be a thing I've never knew that boys are afraid that they'll zip up their dick. Oh, yeah, no, no, no, it is a very, I've done it before. Really? Yeah, it's
Starting point is 00:03:09 extremely painful. It's an excruciating experience. Oh, because you've got to pull the zipper back down too. Yeah. You know how the penis holes, got the little puckery kind of lips around it and goes like, it kind of looks like that? You get that meat caught in the zipper.
Starting point is 00:03:24 Well, let's get to some celebrity news. Too much estrogen in this podcast normally. Yeah, now you got some dudes on a due time. Don't hype my book as Marcus. Marcus is always here. That is true. Balance interrupted. Well, the first story we got today,
Starting point is 00:03:43 the Olson twins are embroiled in a class action lawsuit brought by 40 former interns. Their faces are too tight. when their interns want to drum on their faces like a fucking T-T-Drum. And all 40 of them as a class were denied the right to drum on their face. Stop it. You have to say,
Starting point is 00:04:05 you'll be hearing from my lawyer. I actually feel like it would sound like, yeah. Yeah, because it's tight. You're right. I'm sorry, my face isn't tight enough to you and try. No, yours is too loosey-goose. You could try it like that.
Starting point is 00:04:23 That just hurts. Maybe their faces are too tight. Her faces might be extremely tight, but what they do not do is they do not pay their interns whatsoever. There are apparently devil wears prodigalibur indignities, 50 hour plus weeks, doing the work of three interns, receiving emails into the night.
Starting point is 00:04:44 Unbelievable. And being forced to run errands for paid employees. What are they doing? What are they doing that they need this many people? people, they have this many things to do. They run many. It's a huge company. They run a big production company and they got a clothing line and they can do all this shit.
Starting point is 00:05:01 I remember, do you remember interns what they used to do back in the 1880s? How interns were treated? Oh yeah. They kept them. They got their own private house on their estate. Can you believe? They were able to sing whenever they wanted to say. All day long. And they got to be
Starting point is 00:05:16 outside in the sun. Oh, so that's been nice. Sleep and under a tree. Old days. Yeah, interns definitely always get fucked and I wonder why these particular Mary Kate and Ashley ones are the ones to sue. Now, I thought interns normally don't really get paid or they get a small stipend. That's why you have interns so you can have a bunch of free labor. Free labor, yeah.
Starting point is 00:05:38 And there are other, I feel like I've actually, this year, there have been other interns that have been like, hey, pay us. And you're also supposed to get college credit or whatever. Well, that's what these interns say the suit says that they should have received minimum wage plus overtime for doing the same work as paid workers without receiving so much as. academic or vocational credits. Here's what the head of the entire lawsuit, the lead plaintiff, her name is Shahista Lalani. Oh, yeah. Well, you know, it's a good name.
Starting point is 00:06:05 Poor Shahista. Here's what she has to say. The head technical designer was like, go get my Advil. I need this and this because I'm feeling sick and I have this meeting. When we weren't doing something, they'd be like, organize the buttons in the back by color code. They're kind of mean to you. I'd see a lot of kids.
Starting point is 00:06:23 crying doing coffee runs and like photocopying stuff. I say fucking, I'm glad. I'm glad it was so hard for them. Go fuck herself. Photocopying things. Oh my God. Are we really siding with Mary Kate and Ashley?
Starting point is 00:06:38 Yes. I mean, they could have left at any time. You get walked out. They're giving these fucking schnoes. It's unpaid labor. Are we siding against, are we siding with unpaid labor?
Starting point is 00:06:49 It's the barely labor. It's work. Many things that we do are barely labor. Yeah, but it would be one thing if they were promised money. If they had been like, yeah, we'll pay you this. But no, they're bringing ends like you're going to be an intern, a volunteer. They knew we have interns here at Cave Comedy Radio that are unpaid. And they will not be paid.
Starting point is 00:07:11 Travis, don't even look over here right now. Don't you look. Fuck him. Travis is paid. Oh, okay. Congratulations, Travis. Good for you. He ain't a slave no more.
Starting point is 00:07:22 He lives inside the house. Freedom, I'm only to die. But we have many other unpaid volunteers here, but we're very up front with them about it. It's like this is an unpaid volunteerhip, and those people are free to leave at any point that they want to, and I will give them a hearty goodbye and a wonderful handshake. Thank you for helping us. But no letter of recommendation, that's for sure. No, I have given letters of recommendation to people who have left us.
Starting point is 00:07:49 And that's where you're weak. Well, yeah, especially because I bet they've never even met Mary Kate and Ashley Olson, right? Because they have so many other people in between them. Oh, yeah. So if you don't even get to hang out, you know, with the coolest girls that sing, Brother for sale, only be decent. Because that's what I'm there for you. Another song about slavery.
Starting point is 00:08:15 But one pushback I would say is that here at the cave, for example, it's not, like you're a multi-billion dollar industry, right? Oh, of course not. No, we're negative in the, we're negative numbers. In the red. We should not be paying Travis. You hear that, Travis? Stop coming up, Travis. Taking it away from you, Travis. So it's, it's, I feel like it's one thing for a, for a scrappy, you know, place that doesn't have a whole lot of money. Mary Kate and I actually have been making money since they were, you know, since they were, couldn't talk. I think three. Yeah. Oh, yeah. But, I mean, that's, that's the other. possible. I mean, that's the other thing is that if people wouldn't have taken the positions,
Starting point is 00:08:54 then they would have eventually had to start paying people. I'll also put it this way. For the first person, like, looking at the entertainment industry, all jobs are given by nepotism. Are all given by who you know. And it's like, that is it. That is the currency the way things work. You work for free as an intern at Conan. You work your way up the ladder. You meet a bunch of people. That's what people do. So this is what these people are do. I understand, yes, you were maybe fib to. And maybe you had a sort of idea. You're like,
Starting point is 00:09:23 well, I'm in college. I'm going to go. I'm a TV star. And I'm a TV star. And guess what, man? Life's fucking hard. All right? Sometimes you get cooked. You get kicked right in the shahista. But that's why you make a big lawsuit and make it less hard. That's, you know,
Starting point is 00:09:39 now then it's another person won't get kicked in the shihs. I work three jobs. It should be hard. Yeah. I did it. I worked plenty of fucking unpaid internships for dickheads. Let them do it for these fucking people. Let them sweat to death. Yeah, the crusty couple.
Starting point is 00:09:56 Yeah, Marcus, hi-fi. Yeah. These guys shouldn't be on the same side of the table. Yeah, that's the problem. She said that she was hospitalized for dehydration one day, which that is, she should get maybe a bonus for that because she had to carry like 50 pounds worth of trench coats. But also, it's your own responsibility to ingest water. Oh, come on now.
Starting point is 00:10:16 You got a drink water. Yeah, but one of your employer is like, I need the trench coats now. No time for water. You get water. I, uh, you get water and you express your freedom. And you earn the respect of the technical designer who does something for Mary Kate and Louisiana. I think maybe Molly, it's just you're looking at three people that don't, that wouldn't work as hard in a situation like this.
Starting point is 00:10:45 Well, yeah. I'd be like, uh-uh. I need to know the sandwich first. I have too much self-respect. Not like some shehista. Shihista. Lalani. I don't like working hard either.
Starting point is 00:11:00 So on that, we can all agree. I'm not saying don't work hard, but you don't show me respect? You don't get respect. You don't get me at my worst? You don't get me in my best. All right. Hammy rainbows. Well, they actually worked.
Starting point is 00:11:14 The company. is called Dual Star Entertainment, and it's owned by Ashley and Mary Kate. They produce movies, TV shows, magazines, and video games founded in 1993, and they say that the allegations in the complaint filed against Dual Star are groundless, and Dual Star will vigorously defend itself against plaintiff's claims in courts, not before the media. No statement. Dual star sounds like a bad guy in a space movie. Also,
Starting point is 00:11:48 Dual star comes one of your rapes, your children. Started in 1993 when Mary Kate and Ashley were seven years old. Yeah, their first movie was double, double, toil, and trouble. Oh, I remember it well. Followed by how the West was fun. Fun. I remember saying that one of Blackbuster, yeah, that was always out there. It was not fun because of disease and crime.
Starting point is 00:12:11 And rape? Rape. And also the lasting effects of the Civil War and Reconstruction. Shenandoah. Bleeding Kansas. Brother versus brother. Freedom. I'm going to let you down.
Starting point is 00:12:29 It really should have done a better depiction, in the West. Then there was It Takes 2. Billboard Dad. Switching goals. It's a soccer movie. I remember that one was a Blockbuster too. Yeah. Passport to Paris.
Starting point is 00:12:46 I think that was a fairly famous one, right? Yeah, that was like when they're starting to be kind of tweens, and then you're like, oh, my God, I like boys too. That was in 1999. Yeah, man, I remember really weird. How often did you go to Blockbuster and get yourself a Maricate National tape? I never chose to watch them. However, they were the tapes that there was some sort of after-school thing that we used to do
Starting point is 00:13:10 that they showed them every single day. Was I there for that or no? It was in like a gymitoryum. I don't know. We used to sit in the dark in a big gymitoryum and they would show these videos so I've seen them all like a hundred times
Starting point is 00:13:23 and I don't know why. To, I mean like fifth graders. And it was like a Mary Kate and Ashley after school club? It wasn't a club. It was just something to shut kids up. It's like your parents don't care enough about you to show up on time to pick you up from school. So you get to watch.
Starting point is 00:13:40 the first 15 minutes of this movie that you've seen a hundred times. Yeah, I worked at a daycare where I saw the first like 20 minutes of Hercules, like just fucking over. What was with Hercules? Hercules, Hercules. That was the nutty professor. Oh, yeah. It was the crumps. Well, Passport to Paris started what could be called the Mary Kate and Ashley Olson travelogue series.
Starting point is 00:14:01 Interesting. That one was to Paris. Up next was winning London. Yeah. When was Abu Dhabi? That was sex in the city too. After they married after she married like the French kind of pedophile. Later on.
Starting point is 00:14:16 Yeah, they start having kids and they sell off their children. Now, does this have anything to do with the travelogue series of Shusho? The films, Rouge, Blanc, and Blu? I randomly enough own those three films. What are you talking about? Actually, it's a trilogy. Roush, blonde, and blue. Why?
Starting point is 00:14:43 What is it about? Is it about France or is it about America? Red, white, and blue. So is France. Oh, yeah, that's right. It's about France. So is Puerto Rico. And it's true.
Starting point is 00:14:53 And Chile. Oh, my God. Which one is it about? Chile or Puerto Rico. Because that movie, I will say all three of those movies, I would say what they're lacking is salsa. They're lacking a little bit of. hip movement.
Starting point is 00:15:09 Because a lot of people going, I said Balasikersh and this like a fucking train with steam coming out of it
Starting point is 00:15:18 and she's like Earth Corpokar and a guy has got a fucking dirty suit on and he's like
Starting point is 00:15:26 Lombris got body's scratch and then it's like Ruge Mali what are the
Starting point is 00:15:35 movies? He's got it pretty close actually I don't think I can explain it any better. They're very serious French films that I got as a gift about seven years ago. Watched them then. Don't remember them enough to be able to explain them now.
Starting point is 00:15:49 But they're a French film. Maybe are you going to go home today and watch them again? I don't know if I will. They are very serious. Highly, highly serious. I was watching them in my time that I was obsessed with foreign films. Like any, that was the ardiest, anything that was Ardi and avant-garde and foreign I watched. Well, if you want to know about Artie and avant-garde, next on the Trave-Log series is Our Lips Are Sealed.
Starting point is 00:16:13 Oh, that was a good one. Where was that one? Well, this one is a bit of a mini-trave-log into a big one because Maddie and Abby Parker, they have to go into the FBI witness protection program after witnessing a robbery at the museum. Remember, this is the one where they were on the cover and they were back-to-back and they both had like Snoop Troop hats on and trench coats? I don't remember any of the... that time period. There is,
Starting point is 00:16:38 I remember all the covers, all of them. The theme, isn't there a theme song to our, it's like, I lips are sad. There's a song.
Starting point is 00:16:46 There's the Vangel song. I lamps are seen. Maybe. Yeah, it was a Bengal song. That's what you're thinking about. Actually, it's the go-goes.
Starting point is 00:16:54 Oh. I lived in the end. Belinda Carlisle was in that. Oh, yeah. Heart. But here's a question. This is what you're thinking about. Yes.
Starting point is 00:17:03 Yeah. Is there a song called Arlipar Sealed by Mary Kate and Ed. Because they sing in all their videos. And it's as they end. My question is, why have them change names?
Starting point is 00:17:17 Yeah, I was going to ask the same thing. Are they the same fucking people in every movie or what? No, vastly different characters. Yeah, of course not. Because these are made to just fucking shit out. So you don't need a through line. You can't have a plot line in these because, for example, in this one,
Starting point is 00:17:31 they noticed that there's the Neil Diamond. Oh, God, I just got that. It's called the K-N-E-E-L Neil Diamond Can I rip the microphone off the stand and throw it across the room? They didn't even know
Starting point is 00:17:45 who Neil Diamond was. We just fell for a Mary Kate and Ashley pun. You just got Pop-a-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P By the Olson Twit. No, anyone but that. I remember this cover of this film
Starting point is 00:17:59 because that's when I was working at Hollywood video and I had to sort lots of that. Yeah, it's the It's them cheek to cheek in front of the Sydney Opera House. Because they get put into the witness protection program, but since they're both such big fucking blabber mouths,
Starting point is 00:18:14 they have to keep moving. And eventually they end up in Sydney, Australia. So is there a whole part where they're garotted and then put into an ice box by Richard Kuklinski, the ice man? Wait, so the witch movie is the one where they're in detective goof troop outfits? That's a younger one. Yeah, I think that's like, I know the exact cover that you're talking about.
Starting point is 00:18:37 Detective Goof Troop outfits. It takes two maybe. No, it takes two. That's a wedding one. Yeah, that's a not double double toil and trouble. That's the Halloween one. They both wear in trench coats. The cowboy hats.
Starting point is 00:18:51 Yeah, that's cowboy hats. You know the one I'm talking about. I know the exact. We're wearing fedoras and trench coats. No. Billboard dad. It's just preteen clothes. Yeah, they're just, well, they got paint buckets.
Starting point is 00:19:00 The one you're thinking of was like a straight-to-video. I mean, they were all straight-to-video. I mean, they were all straight-to-video. How dare you? Yeah, well, they were. Oh, and by the way, and not... Okay, let's see, your Snoopy. The challenge...
Starting point is 00:19:12 Just straight hair. Nope, that one's just... Yeah, that's just... They're just putting their pictures on a cover. And strange... Same with... Well, with New York Minute, they brought Eugene Levy in.
Starting point is 00:19:21 Yeah, they got titties in that one. Yeah. That was the one where... They got tini's in that one. They got titty in that one. That was, like, the peak of, like, countdown to them being legal, which was always gross. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:19:33 But it, after... you know, after the one in Sydney, then there was one in London, then there was Holiday in the Sun, and that's when they start putting the filming locations on the covers. Filmed in the Bahamas. Filmed in Sydney, Australia.
Starting point is 00:19:46 Then there was getting there, which is them traveling to the Salt Lake City Winter Olympics. What? Because they just got their driver's license. I'm mostly just confused that all of America just didn't shut down while all of this was being made,
Starting point is 00:20:01 while this was at the top of the chops. They were doing it. Then there was a, win in Rome. You know where that is. And then the challenge and then New York Minute. And as far as I can tell, 2004 was... I mean, one of them wasn't in a couple episodes of weeds,
Starting point is 00:20:18 but that was their last movie for a dual star, entertainment. So creepy. I feel like they must be killing people. They must have like some sort of towers that they bring people into to get them to make things for them, right? And not just slave labor? I feel like they just, there's a lot of money there. I feel like they have a lot of cash to do whatever it is they want with it. So God knows what they're making right now.
Starting point is 00:20:44 They're probably making coosies. How are they still making money, though? I don't know. They have a fashion line that still goes on? Yeah. Like it's not like stuck in 2001? No, but they did have that. Like they had like a Walmart specific for tweens fashion line.
Starting point is 00:20:59 But now they've got like a big person one now. I think it's called rag and bone. You mean fat one. No, it's not rag and bone. I thought that was Marrcayne. No, Rag and Bone is like an elite. Do you realize how upset you just got by that, Henry? I did not.
Starting point is 00:21:12 No. Ragged Bone! I had a pair of pants that was rag and bone that somebody bought me as a gift. Really expensive. But I thought that they were open. Mary Kay Ashley's? I think they're up in high-end fashion. No, they're for Walmart.
Starting point is 00:21:28 But they used to be for Walmart. For the girls for four to 14. Yeah, but I think they might have a grown-up one. Where's their big girl one? They call it real fashion. for real girls. I thought you were you say real fat shit. Yeah, real fashion.
Starting point is 00:21:38 Where's that one? I'll buy that one. What we got here is rubber bands. You could tie around your gut, and we got hats. It's theirs. It's called The Row. Okay. That's their couture fashion label.
Starting point is 00:21:52 Oh, couture. Couter. Couter. Oh, that cuder fashion. They were also named the women's wear designer of the year jointly. For when? For the row. Last year.
Starting point is 00:22:04 This year, actually, 2015. No fucking ass. No fuck ass. None. I apologize for getting rag and bone wrong, Henry. You know what in the end? Kukuna Matata. And I have been saying Akuna Matata.
Starting point is 00:22:17 I've been saying it for years, and it's a thing. It's my philosophy. It's what I live for. I forgot. Henry made that up. You know, Henry, me and you are kind of a Timon and Pumba. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:27 Which one's which? Jackie. Go fuck your city. Hey. Hey. Yeah, well. You don't think I won't slap you? Molly's a monkey.
Starting point is 00:22:40 Jackie's, yeah, yeah. Molly is Rafiki and Jackie is Nala. I'm all of the hyenas. Is Rafiki the baboon? Yeah. The baboon? I'll be the baboon. The baboon's a good one.
Starting point is 00:22:53 Two holds up the little baby. Yeah. Yeah. Vicky, lucky dokey. I'm a monkey. Yeah. That's what he says. This is one of the nicer things you've cast me as.
Starting point is 00:23:03 I know. She said flounder that one time. And also piglet. Yeah. But that's unavoidable. And I actually don't even mind piglet that much because piglet in the books is way less obnoxious than piglet. Flounder is just hurtful. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:17 That was me and you guys were having to, I'm just going to say that there must have been other things going on in your day that day. They took that out on me. I'm just happy that I was Sebastian. Yeah, I gave you. I threw you a bone. Yeah. I should hold that against you, but I don't. You are Sebastian.
Starting point is 00:23:32 You should. Just use it. it, man. Use what you got. Well, let's move on to some sad news. Oh, no. Some sad stuff. Coming out about Bobby, Christina. Don't, Bobby, why?
Starting point is 00:23:44 Bobby! I'm right here, child. Don't. I'm right here, child. You're going to make Jackie cry. Why are you doing it? Sissy, get out of the podcast room. 4. 24. 37. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:23:58 19. I'm going to be a millionaire. Bobby told me so. Bobby told me lottery. Bobby told me lottery. You're just yelling at the 7-Eleven guy. Well, it seems as if there's a lawsuit being brought against Nick Gordon. Brother boyfriend.
Starting point is 00:24:19 Brother boyfriend. I knew it was brother-boyfriend. The lawsuit says that he gave Brown a toxic cocktail that rendered her unconscious. At which point he placed her face down in a bathtub full of water. He then got into a bed with a female guest and said, Now I want a pretty little white girl like you. Yikes. Oh, Jesus.
Starting point is 00:24:42 No, okay, but the thing is, so they're bringing out this whole trial now. How are they going to have any evidence? How are they going to go after this fucking piece of garbage? Wait a minute. Wait a minute. So he killed Bobby Christina. Well, that's the lawsuit. Allegiant.
Starting point is 00:24:57 You know he fucking did. This is my question. She was in a coma, though, right? Coma. Yeah. So she was in a coma from being drowned. Covered in bruises. That makes no sense. Number one, she just should have been dead. She should have been dead body.
Starting point is 00:25:09 Now, if you find them at a certain point, I think it's called epoxy in the brain. It's like oxygen death. But can't they tell that immediately? Like she's been next to drowned? She's soggy. Like she's bloated and soggy? Yeah, they found her almost drowned to death, but she was in a coma and they took her out. Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 00:25:25 Was she first side down? Was she face side down? She was face side down. Henry's putting on his medical examiner. hat. Okay. Uh-oh, he's putting on gloves. Molly, watch out. Move away from him. Oh, my first have to start with the butt. That's where the medical start. Don't do it to her. I know she has little boys' basketball shoes on, but don't do it to her. I won't. I won't. And so you're saying that he murdered her or attempted to murder her while having sex with another woman? Yes. Yes. It alleges that Gordon
Starting point is 00:25:56 came in from a night of partying about 6 a.m. and accused Bobby of cheating on him after, After looking at camera footage and listening to her conversations, that led to a loud fight of about... Which also sounds really fucking creepy. Sounds really creepy. It also, this led to a loud fight of about 30 minutes after which, quote, everything became abruptly quiet. That's in the lawsuit deposition.
Starting point is 00:26:18 Two other details from the lawsuit. It says that one of Brown's teeth was dangling when she was pulled from the tub and a dustpan was found at the bottom of the tub. Who's this girl who was there? Well, brother's really white. Fucking white girl. Who's the fucking white girl who's like, I'll just wait in bed while you kill your sister girlfriend.
Starting point is 00:26:36 Well, no, she's not dead. Maybe she's just laying there and she's asleep. Oh, me, yeah, they went in her and she's all wet and stuff. And I was like, somebody fell asleep. They've got a night before. And me, me, he just went to kiss me. I'm my new buddy boyfriend. Anything for a guy that got a pseudo-sister to lay.
Starting point is 00:27:01 with him as man and wife for a few years. Gotta be good in my book. Gotta be good. I hate him. I want to be put to death. I say another public beating. We keep saying there are people in this world
Starting point is 00:27:16 that deserve to be publicly beaten. I absolutely totally agree. I think sometimes you just need to be pushed down into a county square and be fervently beaten by a big man. Because he's not going to go to jail for this. There's no way. There's no way.
Starting point is 00:27:30 No, no, no, no. That is not cruel and unusual punishment. It is not. No. He needs to be spanked. Yeah. Spank his ass in public. Spank him hard.
Starting point is 00:27:40 Right in front of the fucking man's Chinese theater. That's where all the celebrity public beating should be held. And then drag him not by car, by person, to right in front of Bobby Christina's grave. So that her ghost can also watch. And then dump a cup a throw up on his head. Who's throw up? hopefully Sissy Houston's Make it personal
Starting point is 00:28:05 The mother of the victim Well the grandmother and mother Grandmother excuse me And mother of the ever holy One Whitney Houston Of course Man She's dead too
Starting point is 00:28:16 Don't bring it up I'm sorry to forget No need to bring it up I'll start to sing again She just wanted to dance Don't make me fucking sing again I'm here You're talking
Starting point is 00:28:28 I'm here to meet you Oh, man. Another death, another very unfortunate death. I mean, really... Oh, this one burns. I mean, this one really, we feel more for the... We feel more for the wife instead of the husband. Do we? The wife? Can we put on that? Oh, Kathy Lee Gifford is definitely Frank Gifford.
Starting point is 00:28:51 I feel bad. Oh, I know. But that bitch ain't slept in that bed in at least 15 years. Are they fucking... Oh, go. What are you talking about? Did you not read Kathy Lee and Hoda's? fucking weekly column in the daily news, because if there's one thing that Kathy Lee loves talking about, or at least alluding to, it is Frank Gifford.
Starting point is 00:29:11 And fucking Frank, and how Frank's still frisky, or at least he was, because now he's fucking sick. She always calls him Frank Gifford, which is something I know, on the show anyway. She'll be like, I'll tell you what Frank Gifford likes,
Starting point is 00:29:22 and I don't know whether she does that out of some endearing thing, like I call him by his first and last name, or whether she's just like, may I remind you, I'm married to a famous man. He's not famous anymore, no. Yeah, she's more famous than he is by far. But at one point, it's possible that he was more famous than her and she just kind of got into the habit.
Starting point is 00:29:39 Yeah. I feel like the only time they have sex is when he's got a ball gag in her mouth and she's holding the reins of it and her stilettos are right on top of his dick and balls. That makes sense. That has to be the only time they have sex, which I'm not saying means it's not sex, but I don't think that they, I can't believe there's been D in that V in at least 15 years. Does that believe come from something about Frank or something about Jackie Lee?
Starting point is 00:30:04 Oh, you know, there's a 23-year age gap between the two of them. Oh, yeah. Interesting. You know what's also interesting? I was watching a thing where a waitress was talking about. She was like, it was this woman. She said, Frank used to come in here all the time. And he was so sweet and so nice.
Starting point is 00:30:19 Flirty, too. Certainly flirty. Well, if you guys remember pretty big scandal way back in the day, in 1997, do you guys not remember? remember this? I remember because I feel like I used to watch Regis and Kathy Lee every single fucking day and I remember something happened. What is it?
Starting point is 00:30:38 Well, in 1997, the Globe tabloid published a story about Frank's two day long liaison at a hotel with a married flight attendant named Susan Johnson. Initially, he denied it until
Starting point is 00:30:53 the Globe published stills and a transcript from a video of the illicit encounter. I remember I was on the Giants. You ever want to sit up on the flagpole? Come on up. Oh, yeah, it's not half a mask. A flagpole's running old.
Starting point is 00:31:11 You ain't no soldiers died today. I pulled it all the way to the top. Okay, that's their effort. They'll have a Johnny Walker back for your plane, for your plane, right? See, if anything, I would have said that they hadn't fucked because Frank Gifford was so old. I mean, he's, I would say it's a little column A, a little column A. A little column B. No, drugs can make a man able to fuck. Yeah, but also, what you said, I think it wasn't just to slip up her jugs.
Starting point is 00:31:45 Can't look that good without clothes on, no matter what kind of, whatever surgery she's had, which she's obviously had a bunch of. I love her. I love to see her naked. Kathy Lee? Yeah. She looks great for her. No. She looks great.
Starting point is 00:31:58 Anytime. And she also definitely has a sexuality. I'm curious. Ooh, I want to see if there's any Kathy Lee and Hoda slash fic. These two, Molly and Marcus, have come together on this subject. I mean, you know, I don't find her attractive. No. I mean, I'd never fuck Hoda.
Starting point is 00:32:15 I was not a hundred million years. I guess, no, I'd rather fuck Joy Philbin. I'm going to choose one out of all of them. I'm going Joy Philbin. You know her muffin is all sorts of Chris Cross. Yeah, but I bet it's red. What? Like red tinted.
Starting point is 00:32:32 Like, I bet she, I bet her, her carpets match the drapes. There you go. I'm talking about the actual vagina. Oh, I bet it smiles. Like, I bet it's bent like it's smiling. Oh, my God. Because her name is Joy. Anyone whose name is Joy.
Starting point is 00:32:50 I mean, it's got to just curve. With a little, like, tongues sticking out, like, oh, God. You know what you got to do is Jake did it. You got a take take take it. Pull of yours. You put it in my down to the smile. Oh,
Starting point is 00:33:06 God. I think Marcus is looking for a naked picture of Cassidy. And there are hundreds of them. There are 11 pages of these.
Starting point is 00:33:20 Her daughter is older now. What's her name? Cassidy? No, that's the other one. That's the... Dead one? No, that's Chaz. Chas.
Starting point is 00:33:29 Bono? Yeah. What's it now? What's her daughter's name? Eucalyptus. It is Cassidy. Is it Cassidy? Yeah, it's all the Cassidy. I can't believe I knew that. And Cassidy about his dad said, Heaven gained one stud of an angel.
Starting point is 00:33:46 That is disgusting. Wait, that's a boy? That is disgusting. That's their son? No, it's a daughter. Oh, okay. The daughter called the father a stud and said that he's going to go to heaven and he's going to fuck a bunch
Starting point is 00:34:01 I mean what else is he going to do up there? She said his kindness was infectious and his grace beyond compare and despite the worldly passing of an incredible man I undoubtedly know heaven gained one stud of an angel It sounds like she's talking about penis stubs
Starting point is 00:34:18 and why would you ever I would never talk about my father that highly anyway That shows our lack of respect Oh, it continues. You are an unparalleled giant in all sense of the word, dad. So keep doing you up there
Starting point is 00:34:35 because no one does it better and no one ever will. Why? Okay, to be fair, the rest of the content of the statement wasn't quite as creepy as it was with Marcus' tone of voice. I mean, I know, but at the same time, that's a little, keep doing you.
Starting point is 00:34:52 You're a giant. I mean, I get the giant thing. It's like when we did the episode on Henry Lee Lucas and we mentioned John Walsh, whose son Adam was famously kidnapped, which is why he went on to do America's Most Wanted. And what he said about his son was that if you could order a boy from a catalog, you'd order Adam Walsh. So if you could order a boy from a catalog,
Starting point is 00:35:18 Adam would be the little boy you would order. Perfect little hips, tender little calves. No, he didn't say that part of it. In a mouth. A mouth. It wouldn't quit. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:34 But it was, it's one of those things where, yeah, sometimes people say odd things about the dead that can be taken. Yeah, especially when it's all about sucking your father's cock. Yeah. And how big as cock is and all the other protrusions it's going to enter when it goes up into heaven. All right. It's time for the list. Oh, that's all that list. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:54 Yeah. I have that list. Related celebrity couples who survived cheating scandals. Oh, oh, is Frankie Gathy Lee on it? I wonder if people ever
Starting point is 00:36:04 called him Frankie Lee. Nobody doesn't like Frankie Lee. And that's what he was saying all the stewardesses he was about to shoot all over. Snoop Dog and his wife, Shantay.
Starting point is 00:36:16 There's no way he's ever cheated on her. Oh, he revealed it himself in Rolling Stone magazine. He revealed what almost caused his marriage to fall apart back in 2004, he said that he had taken his family for granted and was having too much fun being the king of a
Starting point is 00:36:32 quote, sex gang. Dude, that's fucking awesome. I'm just happy for you. You know what? As a wife, what do you say about it? Because you're like, I'm the queen, baby. That's what I would say. And I'd be able to go fuck whoever I want.
Starting point is 00:36:47 I want to be the queen of a sex gang. Oh my, because they respect you. And, you know, you lay down the law and your husband's the king so they can't step out of line. No. It's not fair. Why can't I be the queen of a sex gang? You like when you grow up?
Starting point is 00:37:04 Yeah, maybe I could get Doug. I should just push him in that direction. Yeah. I just can't see him being the king of a sex gang. I think he could be. He ain't no prince. A. ain't no pauper. He said he also bragged about how he was part of a gang that consisted of Los Angeles
Starting point is 00:37:20 hookers where he could get any woman he wanted day or night. Because I do believe that Snoop Dog was a pimp at one point in his career. No, he was just a drug dealer. Was he only a drug dealer? Yeah, no, no, maybe he dabbled in a pimp all with you. Yeah, he never killed anybody. He killed a man.
Starting point is 00:37:34 He did. I know. He absolutely killed a man, yeah. I got Snoop up on a pedestal. Yeah. I know nothing about the man, but I'm completely in love with him. Yeah, he's great. Even though he has a tiny parrot face.
Starting point is 00:37:46 He does. He does. It doesn't matter. I mean, that's why I call him Snoop Dog, because he looks like a greyhound. Well, technically, it was Snoop line for a bit. Is he back to Snoop Dog? He's back to Snoop Dog. Because after a while he admitted that he actually knew nothing about Rastafarianism and hadn't really looked into it at all.
Starting point is 00:38:02 No, he just had a great vacation in Jamaica. Oh, yeah, yeah, he just got really stone. Next up, Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban. Keith Urban cheated on her just a few months after they got married with model Amanda Wyatt. Unforgivable. Unforgivable that any other woman would want. want to sleep with a man that obviously uses a straightener. I say you can use any kind of product you want.
Starting point is 00:38:30 You do whatever, man. But a straightener really puts it over the line for me with a man. Yeah, because that's just a, that's a, that's such a step too far. Yes. Can I see a picture? I don't know what a straightener hair looks like. Well, he, you should just look up a picture of fucking Keith Urban. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:38:49 And he has, he's got the, he's got like sweat bands on usually all the time, like around his wrist, like wrist sweat bands. He looks like a country Chris Martin. He wears really tight clothes. Yeah, very tight clothes. I just feel like as a man and a couple, I don't know, maybe I'm being shnish-snish. But I think that maybe you shouldn't be that concerned about your clothes all the time.
Starting point is 00:39:16 You should be. Yes, a thousand percent. Or else they leave you for someone else. Or else go become a king of a sex king. No, not as the woman. The woman needs to pay attention to everything. Detail but detail. Oh, oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:39:29 Oh, yeah. You know what? It's true. You know what? It is true. A man can get away with literally anything. But no, but that's why they all got back together after the cheating scandal. But you feel it's weird when a man does pay attention to that level of like beauty care products and like close?
Starting point is 00:39:47 I think that some people are into that though. Yeah. Some people are into a dude that is into that. I am not, but I'm also not someone that takes care of myself in any way, shape, or form. It's time for blind items. Oh, we can't see them. I can see them. Don't.
Starting point is 00:40:03 Don't fucking come on our show. Say you can see them. Don't look at the computer. You can't see them. You have to look away, Henry. I won't. Don't wink. Stop.
Starting point is 00:40:15 We can see you. Stop winking. Marcus. This actress is a solid A-minus list, but her, ego is somehow even higher than her talent. She'll openly mock other actresses by boasting of how she could secure an Oscar
Starting point is 00:40:30 nomination without even trying while her contemporaries struggle to even get work. She won't admit it, but the actress thinks of everything and everyone as a competition, and some even think that she takes a little joy in her children's failures
Starting point is 00:40:46 if she's not dismissing their work entirely. Interesting. Children. Man, I thought J. Law up until children. No, an older, like, I'm talking, like, she is revered as one of the greatest actresses of all time. Merrill Street. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:41:02 Yeah. You know what? I like that, because it's like that Michael Jordan stripe through her, where it's just like, I love the fact of Michael Jordan's an asshole. Yeah. Because he is a winner. He deserves it. And she fucking deserves to be an asshole. She's a fucking winner.
Starting point is 00:41:15 She goes to get that shit, and she gets that shit. And she doesn't even have to try. Yeah. The person who is the best at what they do, the best in the world at what they do, they're not going to be a good person. No, yeah, they get to be an asshole. That's why I like, or that's why I think Kanye falls in that category.
Starting point is 00:41:31 He's very good, huge asshole, right? Yeah, but the way he does it. He's not that. I don't agree on that. But that's how I put him in a similar category. Merrill Street plays a good game where she's got a good face where everyone's like, she is absolutely amazing. And then you watch her do, and it's just like, I could totally see her being like,
Starting point is 00:41:50 fuck that bitch. see Sally Field and she's just like putting like you know how you can make someone have diarrhea by putting vizine in their drink and shit you know just being like got that bitch every single day more like Mary retard Lincoln yeah I do like to imagine that the drama is all amongst like women in their 60s and 70s oh that's definitely nobody else yeah it's like Sally Field Diane Keaton Mariel Hemingway yeah that's cute I like that I put benedrill in Goldie Hans drinks that she'd fall asleep during the for the fucking Gold Globes
Starting point is 00:42:24 So people think she's off the wagon Glenn Close didn't even fucking match her energy She must have cut her labias off Ored something to Glenn Close Broke her down Oh yeah Next up
Starting point is 00:42:36 This A minus list actor Still has his handsome good looks And a career That every other male actor in Hollywood Would consider to die for But our actor hasn't had sex With a woman Since his second wife
Starting point is 00:42:49 He's been married since and that second marriage ended a while ago, but she was his last. Also might be looking to get out of his kooky little religion. And this brings up some questions as to how that little daughter got born. Tom Slews. A fucking chorus.
Starting point is 00:43:12 Yes, two baby, a thousand percent. And you've been saying that from the beginning. I've been saying it from the beginning. So why didn't they fuck? I don't know. Because he doesn't want to fuck Yeah, he wants to fuck man Yes
Starting point is 00:43:24 Yeah Just fucking have sex with a man Yeah just He is not allowed to At some point I mean yeah he Jontra's it I think he's just a lot better at hiding it Yeah, John Tra's real bad at it
Starting point is 00:43:37 John Trae wants us to know I think so too And I also think that Tom Cruise probably pays A lot more for it Yeah I think it's done in a very Like highfalutin way So no one knows about it
Starting point is 00:43:49 Yeah Man, it is crazy the way his lot, they talk about how his life is constructed and how all these Scientology people just surround him at all time and make life as easy as it possibly can't. Yeah, that sounds awesome. A frictionless life. It does sound great. Can you imagine that? Interesting. It seems like a road to Henry is actually going down.
Starting point is 00:44:09 I can't wait. But I'm not. No, that is unless he's not, you know, fucking paying people $5 to wear a t-shirt with his face on it. I wish that someone approached me with it. I'll wear a t-shirt with your face on it, Henry. We've got like a whole. There's about 500 right behind us. Do I have to pay for it?
Starting point is 00:44:25 Are you going to pay me? I'll pay. It was a dollar. And it was at Comic-Con. The $5 were someone who was a listener of the show to come forward who was an albino-Asian person. Ah, that's right. All right. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:39 No, you just bought their skin. But you didn't buy their heart and soul. I don't want their heart and soul because that is a fucking. boar. Yeah, it is. Skin is way better. Yeah, because you can spatch it.
Starting point is 00:44:53 Oh, that's it for today. We've got to get to a Willie Nelson concert. Oh, man. Oh, you guys are going to have a great time. I'm going to be a dumber tomorrow than I am today, and I didn't think it was possible. Oh, man, we didn't talk about
Starting point is 00:45:05 Amy Lennox's daughter. Oh, yeah. Because, you know, she was swimming on, swimming on broken glass. Her boyfriend is dead Let's go For more shows like the one you just listened to
Starting point is 00:45:23 Go to cavecomedyadio.com.

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