Episode 134: Spitballin'
00:01No, I'm not loud.Now I hear nothing.You don't hear anything?No, I do.Jack, you can't hear his, though.Don't.Fake.Don't shut it off.
00:12No, you...I'm a hot.I'm a hot.Although today it's 94.But the rest of the week, all low 80s, guys.Yeah.It's a freaking fall, culturally.Culturally.
00:34Climate-wise, I don't know.You have small culturally in his fall.Can't wear white anymore.I know, bitch, I got yelled after wearing white yesterday.I was like, you can wear white on Labor Day.For sure.It was these teens.Teenagers?
00:52Yeah.Like, do they street harass you about it?Well, yeah.As you were like, you can't wear that.I can wear white shorts.I mean, I shouldn't.No one ever should.But I was.
01:03I had a bathing.suit on, who cares?To the extent to whichanybody can wear white shorts, you can wearon Labor Day. Yes, a thousand percent.Is that even a thing anymore?I don't think it is. Welcome to pageseven, everybody. I mean, apparently,
01:16I'm Jackie Zerowski. I'm Molly Neffle.I know that black and whiteis in this season. That's what all thebishes are saying. Really? Yeah,black and white.Chromatic? Is that chromatic?Anti-chromatic.Is it anti-chromatic?
01:32Bi-chromatic?Bi-chromatic?When you say black and white, do you mean like a black pants white shirt?Because I've been doing that out of just kind of poverty, like just a freeback.I think, yeah, your poverty is finally saving you.Okay, good.But is it like, are we talking checkers, stripes?I think it's more like a pattern.
01:51See, I was thinking checkers.Checkers.I don't think it's checkers.I don't think we're not going to Avril Levine this summer.Is ska back in?No.A thousand percent no.Because if it is, I'm ready.
02:03I've been readyAvril LevineDivorceDivorcedOh noAnd she had Lyme disease recentlyOh my goshIt's probably because of the Lyme disease
02:15She had a really hard timeHusband was like fuck thisNot dealing with tick in herShe had a hard timeShe cried about it a while ago on CNNOh you just get tiredBut you get really tired for a really long timeThat's great
02:27I need a reason to be like noLimesIt's LimesTake a break and tell people it's live.I got to go home.It's my lines.I'm sorry, my lines.Oh, my lines.
02:43Jackie's so tired.She's dreaming for limes.I'm dreaming for limes.I'll take it, man.Do I get to lose weight and sleep all the time?Ooh, you get a rash, too.Well, the rash.A friend of mine who had limes lost a lot of weight, but not in a healthy way.
02:58He was very sick.Yeah, but, man, bring it on.I need to lose some of the sun.summer weight I've gained, which you're not supposed to in the summer.No, I always gain weight in the summer, too, because you drink way more.Yeah, me as well.I got a summer belly going.I got a summer beer belly going.
03:13Yeah.My T-shirts are not fitting well anymore.I have summer arm fat.And I'm like, I'm drinking all this beer's going right to my arms.Beer and ribs.Yeah, oh, man.I wish there were more ribs in my life.Have you not been eating a lot of ribs this summer?
03:28No, I haven't.In fact, I was just out of the bar getting a drink, and I saw on a plate someonehad a tofu taco and it was just chunks of tofu with like stuff.It just looks so unappetizing.It's like, ugh, at least put, I don't know, eat a corn taco.You want ribs on your taco.Put a rib on it.Or put some broccoli on it.
03:47I'll eat broccoli taco.Wait, so it's been a while since I've eaten ribs.And granted, I used to love them.But if you put a rib on a taco, would you have to just gnaw all the food around the bone?And then it would be like a meat, like a food lullipop.Yeah, but I'd want someone to shred the meat off of the bone.bone for me. You wouldn't put the bone in the taco.Presumably you get
04:07the rib meat off of the ribbefore you put it in the taco. I see.That would make the most sense. Althoughthe food lollipop ideadoes have some merit. I mean everybodyloves a kebab. Yeah, justuse a bone as a kebab. Put on afood around it, yeah. I like that bacon
04:22around it. And then put it, oh yeah, you can putlike a hot dog bun around it.Just chew arounda bone like a lot. I know.And you know, we're just spitballinghere. We're just spitballing. If it sounds like something that a dog would do, then we canwork on that. Maybe that's part of it out. Man, I think that's something thatAver Levine had that I didn't was those, what are they called? Rists. Skinny wrist. She had
04:49skinny wrists. She had rists. You're making tiny little circles around your wrists.The sock, the squeezies.Wrist bands. Yeah, the sweat bands. I wore those in high school. But I bet it's great forarms sweat.Yeah.Did you have an arm sweat problem?No, I wore them out of fashion because I was a Scott kid.Aver Levine.
05:09I actually heard a ska band yesterday at the beach, and they were terrible.And what I wanted to hear, and I was drunk enough, to keep yelling for Jimmy Buffett covers.Yeah, a Scott Jimmy Buffett cover band is a great idea.As long as it's Jimmy Ball.As long as it, you know, throw a red red one.I'll listen to it.You were on the beach.I don't want to hear you're like, burp-pur.
05:31And then the guy was just like, ugh.Where did you go to the beach?Rockaways.And a scoban band was there?Yes, and someone asked for something like Sublime, and he goes, I got the perfect song for you.And the song was called Sublime-like Song, and it didn't sound like sublime.It sounded like garbage.The band?
05:54The band's not...Which I wouldn't be if I was at the God's...damn beachuh yeah i lovethe scah when i was a childi don't think that i want a ska cover band at rockaway beachplaying sublime covers doesn't sound right what they weren't even playing sublimecovers they had their own song yeah called sublime like song no do a cover and do a
06:24cheeseburger and paradise cover yes jimmy buffett classic rock that's what i want tohear at the beach man there is there are no scottcovers of Jimmy Buffett songs.Man, it's something they're missing out on.We can fill this hole. I do still have mytrumpet. Play trumpet?Yeah. Can you still play it? Can you playI'd have to warm up for a little while?
06:46You'd have to be kicking out your legs while you do itthough. Isn't that a skanking?Yeah, skanking, yeah. You go pick it up, pick it up, pick it up, pick it up.Yep. Yeah, no, I'm familiar with all these things.I can definitely, I can bring it. If you need me,if you ever need a trumpet in the cowman,you got my number.like a cover of like El Paso or Ring of Fire
07:05or something like that. For sure I know Ring of Fire.Oh nice. Man things are comingtogether. I mean it's a spitballingepisode. We're spitballing a lot of real goodthings here. We're spitballing everybody.We're spitballing and I actually miss thehell out of playing trumpet so I would totallytotally jam with somebody if they want to
07:21want to jam. Doesn't that make your cheekssaggy? It's a good question.I think she's got sag to spare.She's got tight cheeks. You got tight cheeks.You got real tight cheeks.Well, and I don't, I'm not like a Dizzy Gillespie trumpet player where your cheeks puff out like a bullfrog.If anything, it would probably give me like.Kylie Jenner lips might be more of a problem.
07:44That sounds fantastic.Your lips get all puffy.Purst and puffy.Purse.I wish you could even look on Molly's face.It's pursed.It's pursed lip stink face.It's cursed.
07:55Oh, poor Averill is splitting up with her man, Chad Kroger.And you know, the other thing about Lyme's disease, brook.quick. The rash that you getis a bullseye. Yes. If youget a bullseye rash, go to the doctor.Immediately. That's Lyme. Wait, is it justone bullseye or is it many as ifit were a pattern? And maybe that would be in for the fall.
08:14Maybe this is something I'm looking into.I mean, what I see, thepicture that Googleuses to represent Lyme diseasesee the tired, late,middle-aged woman. God, she's so tired.He's really tired.Late middle-aged woman with
08:30our onepant leg rolled upto show a bullseyerash on her leg.It's not going to escape your attention.You're going to notice it.Damn.Yeah, you know when you got limes.
08:43Those ticks, man.They're dangerous little bugs.Caused by the bacteriumBorrelia burgdorfori.Oh, it sounds like rich person's disease.Right, guys?It's treatable.It is.
09:01We got to catch it quick, which was what Averalovine's problem was.She didn't catch it quick enough, and then you get really sick.I think that this might, I don't know, I'm not familiar with why she's getting divorced,but it definitely could have played a factor.I don't know.She was married to the guy from Nickelback.I think that is what the factory is.I don't know why they got married in the first place.
09:20They were doing some stuff in the studio.There was a bit of a collaboration.Yuck!They decided they loved each other very much.Chemistry.She was just, Aver Levine was just coming off of three.year marriage to the lead guy fromSum 41. I remember that. I almost
09:35did a spit take just now. She went from Sum41 to Nickelback. Yeah, I mean,it's Everleaveen. Yeah, but still.I mean, I don't know why we're all, you know,I'm saying, like, she's a paragon of musicalintegrity. No, she's just a skater girl.Skater girl. That is not the song.I'm a skater girl.
09:53I'm a skater boy.He's got skates onand I love him.I would posit that Everleven'smore interesting thanand believe meI'm not an Averloven fandespite my Ska things
10:06and the fact that I dosometimes wear tiesI've never liked Averlovenin fact I've disliked herbut I would say she'smore interesting as an artistthan either some 41or Nickelback put together
10:16She has a weird mouthYeahI'm not gonna contest thatRemember she smiledwithout putting herYeahShe does have one of thoseSideway smile
10:28There's noThere's no actualLike the eyesdon't move at all. It's like our eyes and herand that's a fake smile. Everybodyknows if you don't smile with your eyes, it's a fakesmile. Yes, Tyra taught us that.Oh, hi.
10:41Marcus, you found a picture that's exactlyI didn't find a picture. That was the picturethat the story used.Because she, that's what she looks like. That was just apicture of her that was sitting in front of me.You're proving Jackie's point. Also, herhusband looks like Mark McGrath fromSugar Ray. Yeah, yeah, except
10:57Mark McGrath from 18years ago. That's a current picture.That's a current that is for, well that's2013 but he's still got frosted tips.He had frosted tips.Well, and also.He had frosted tips.Let me put out that we don't know what Mark McGrath looks like now.
11:12I mean, I can find out.I think he looks pretty much the same.He's probably still got frosted.He has, Mark McGrath has no reason it.Oh my God.I can't wait to see it.Oh!Oh, he's the same but older.
11:30Ew, he's got it.such an ugly face now.Oh, and just the same.He looks like, he looks like skater boyEthan Hawk now.He's in Hawks' face.Doesn't he?With a 12-year-old's haircut.
11:45He has a 12-year-oldhe has the haircut that I hadwhen I was 12 years old.Everybody had that haircut when they were 12.Yeah.I like that the title next to the picture isMark McGrath is alive and well.Guess nobody gives a fuck about him
12:03He's around guysHe's not deadIf you Google there's Mark McGrath deadThat's the picture you've gotApparently there was a death hoax earlier this yearLike in February there was a Mark McGrath death hoaxAnd so he had to release that pictureGuys I'm alive and well
12:24ClickHe is verified on Twitter thoughOh manI wonder what was the last thing Mark McGrath said on Twitter.I don't know, but he just had that supergroup.Oh, he's got a serious X-M show.Oh, the last thing he said was really going to miss this.A huge thank you to the staff at Pelican Hill Resort.
12:45This Place is a Dream.Hashtag Newport Life.They chose a picture of a really nice resort where a presumably Sugar Ray played.He went to Newport.He went to Newport.He's 11.and playing Newport.Yeah, he posted a bunch of, yeah, the best was somebody posted on Twitter,
13:06I really like this Mark McGrath album.He retweeted it.Somebody said my name.This song in particular.And then they had a screenshot of their phone playing again and again by Mark McGrath.Yikes.And all it says, just, I really like this album.Mark McGrath was like, my whole month is made.
13:26Not even I love itNot even like this is the best dayOh I love Mark McGregor's just I really like thisI have heard it yesI have no opinion on itIt is it is on my playlistRetweetThis is inoffensive to my sensibility
13:42They love meMybergast like thank you to the fansCouldn't do it without youYeah the next one isNice choice of songs on XM right nowSo he's really just retweeting peoplegoing like, hey.You're alive.
13:58Alive and well.We are acknowledging your existence.Alive and well.Alive and well.Man, I hear there's another free willie on the loose.It's so hot.What?It's John Ham.
14:15John Ham got a divorce.Yeah, I'm psyched to talk about this.Yes, John Ham is devolved.It's his big dick.That's right.That's right, Jackie.Thank you.John M.
14:28That sounds like a Mark McGrath tweet at me.That is right.You said that, joke.I heard you, Jackie.Retweet.Him and his wife after 18 years are breaking up.Damn, man.Yeah.
14:44And isn't it because she wanted kids?Is that what it was?At least I saw that earlier today.She was like, yeah, I wanted kids.And he said he didn't want them.And I kept holding out because I thought maybe he would.change his mind.Bish, he's old now in terms of that.
14:59Yeah, right.I guess not for a dude, but.Yeah, well, and, you know.If he, if his mind isn't changed at this point, it's not going to be changed.Right, 18 years is why she, boop along, yeah, boop, get out of there, but.I wonder how many sluts he's going to fuck right away.Oh, my God, can you imagine?And he's gonna.
15:14I've seen quite a few blind items about Mr. Hamm and his proclivities.That's the thing.I think it's interesting that it's about him not wanting to have kids and not how many fuckingtight 20-year-olds he's bone.Maybe I maybe the story that I saw was just gossipBut you knowWe know about gossYou know we got the gas
15:35We got the gossOh yeah we got the gossBut boy is he sexyBut he's not even doing anything now right?Is he?No and his hair is a little bit stringyInterestingAre we getting classy
15:47No that was from that was an auto playFrom Us WeeklyThanks Us WeeklyYou know what that auto play was?That was their montage of John and Jennifer in Happier Times.No, they have a sad music.Pictures of them in happier times.Oh, John.
16:08But also speaking of Happier Times, is Ben Affleck back together with Jennifer Garner?I think they're going to try to make it work.Are they going to try to make it work?I mean, I'm seeing it's splayed.It's spayed.I'm seeing it's spayed.Yeah, it's definitely spayed.But I don't know.
16:22Splayed.Splayed.Let's see what the internet has to say about them being splayed.Everybody's got it.Okay, they've allegedly attended couples therapy.This is from five hours ago.Five hours ago.This is late breaking news.
16:42Hot.They went to couples therapy, but the divorce is still very much on.Damn.Because he won't stop fucking that nanny, I think.I mean, how could you?They're establishing ground rules.for the kids.They did a two-hour session where they're
16:58establishing ground rolls for the kids.Presumably, don't havethe nanny that you're fucking around.Possibly.But at the same time, you know she's good with the kids.I mean, that's the thing.He goes to leave him with the nanny in fact.Yeah, that FX's probably like, how am I not going to
17:15have the nanny around?Yeah, what does he do?You know what I mean?Yeah.Take care of the kids. He can't take care of the kids.No.No, no.No, he can't take care of the children.
17:21No, he can't take care of children.He's weird Batman.Yeah, weird Batman can't take care of the kids.take care of kids. Batman can't take care of kids at all.No, that's why he's a bachelor for foggant life.Yeah, and every time he does try to take care of kids,they end up getting beat to death at the crowbar.I know that we're supposed to love Jennifer Garner because of Ailius and 13 going on 30.
17:39That's not why I love her, though.Why do you love her?It's because she lets her kids wear whatever they want.Oh, she does?Yes, I like it.Oh, good.I like it as a celebrity mom.Teach your children, boundaries.
17:50Yeah, but at least she's talking with the kids.At least she's around the kids.At least she is around.But is she really?I mean, I guess she has a nanny.I guess she has a nanny that was around enough to fuck her husband when she wasn't around.But what is she even fucking doing?She's got tiny eyes.
18:05But it's okay.It's not like Ever Levine face.No.Because she's got a real face.Yeah, she's got a great mouth.Big mouth.Great mouth.Tiny eyes.
18:14I know.They're cute.They are cute.All of these things said, I think she's always been a little plain.She's a plain jane.But that's also I think why I like her.Yeah.Yeah.
18:23That's true.We can like her plain.Jane Ness and I like her a hundred thousand times more than I like Ben Affleck.Yes.Don't get me wrong.I'd rather watch Jennifer Garner and J-Lo get together.Yes.Now that's a couple I'd watch.
18:35Yes.Yes. I guess I was wondering, you know, do we want to be like, you know, you married a boringkind of, you know, mediocre actor?Like, of course he's going to bang the nanny because he's insecure.But I wouldn't blame her for her stupid husband's actions.Yeah.And also it's like she should be fucking.Matt Damon. It's like, let's have the
18:56circle be completed. Yeah.Yeah. Yeah, you're going to fucka manny. I'll fuck Matt Damon. I'll fuck Matt Damon.I get the better deal out of that anyway.Who's he fucking on the reg. I think he's got areg. I think he's got a reg. Girlfriend. Does he now?Like a rego, though. A rego, okay.I'm pretty sure. Rago stands
19:12for regular, right? Yeah.I think she just, you just make thatup? Let's coin it. You didn't?You didn't? I think I saw, I rememberI read this list a while ago oflike big celebrities that are dating.nobody's, which is basically what it was.And I thought he was on the list.
19:27Did you make up the term rego?Oh, rego?Yeah.You mean like rego my ego?Regular girlfriend, my ego girlfriend?Oh, yeah.He does.He's married to a rego.
19:40Yeah, this is what I'm saying.Yeah, a bartender.I like rego so much better than normal as a, like, you know, people be like, oh,he's with a normal.Or a nobody.Nobody is sad.Nobody.I like nobody.
19:51Rego, yeah.Rego.Rego.Rego doesn't seem as negative.as nobody or normal.It's a little close to Daigo, but I'm fine with it.Yeah, you could just be a rego.Like, it's not a judgment.
20:01It's just like, yeah, she's just a regal bartender.She's a rego.Yeah, yeah, yeah.Her name's Luciana Bazan Barroso.I mean, she's hot.Yeah.She sounds hot.I mean, she's a...
20:11She sounds hot.She's an Argentinian.Damn.Oh, damn.Yeah, sexy.Real sexy woman.Speaking of another sexy divorce, which this makes me happy.And I know that it shouldn't.
20:23Jackie looks really.really happy.You look, I mean, you look fucking evil happy.Giata.Giata.Because she's fucking Bobby.Split.No, she's not fucking Bobby Clay.
20:33That was the rumor when he split with his DA from Law & Order girlfriend.No.Yeah.So about three, four months ago, Bobby Flay.We're talking about Bobby Flay.Split with his wife, who is the prosecutor from Law & Order SVU.The blonde one?The blonde one.
20:50Alex Cabot.And he...I can't believe you know her name.name. Not a million yearsreally in a morning.I don't know the other one's name.Okay.I think she's Alex Cabot.
20:59Anyway, I get the two of them mixed up because they look similar in a boring way.But point being, he...What are you talking about...What's your name?No, not Mariska Hagarty.No, the two DAs.Stephanie March.Alex Cabot and what the hell is the other one?
21:15Stephanie March.Stephanie March.The blonde one.That's the one.There's another DA who looks kind of generic too, I don't remember.But there was a really...Rumor then that they were splitting because Bobby was fucking Giata.And then they went on to host Food Network Star together.
21:31Their sexual chemistry is through the roof.Yuck.Of course.I know, because they both suck.And so I'm sure that Giata's husband was onto him, her, and him, Bobby Flee.She had to have been married to a hot guy, though.And Bobby Flee is like the scum on the bottom of my shoe.I agree with you completely.
21:50Ew, he's got yucky face.He's got a yucky face.Can we get a picture of?Giaada's husband. I'll bet he is hot.I'll look him up. Because she's got a giant head of a tiny little body.Todd Thompson. That's his name? Todd Thompson.Talk about it. Rego.He's a fashion designer.
22:06Interesting. See, the thing is that John, I mean, I really like, I just can't watch her show.She makes really good food, though. And her breasts.Are great.Are great, but it's just like, I'm not watching the show. I'm watching the press.Yeah.Here's that dude.Oh, you can do better, Jada.Oh yeah, and better also is not Bobby Flee.
22:26He's got a chin for a thousand years.She's got...They got kids?Yeah, she got a little kid.I mean, she is a bird woman.She's a bird woman, but she's way hotter than both that guy and Bobby Flai.Yes.Way hotter.
22:40It is, I mean, it's just funny.It's just a bird with big tits.You never think you...It makes amazing food.You never think you want to see it.Then when you see it, you're like, I'm glad I saw that.Yeah, she's...She's hot.
22:52But yeah, her and Bobby spent all summer together on Food Network Star.Interesting.Flirting the fuck off of the camera.And, of course.Ew, how do you flirt with Bobby Flay?He's like, ooh, I put a jalapeno on it.Oh, yeah.Honey, you shove it in a hoagie.
23:10Hogi should never be used sexually.Unless he's referring to my vagina and his penis is a sausage.Ah, your hoagie.I'm going to put my sausage in your hoagie.I'm going to put mayonnaise on.your hoagie. Bobby Flay wouldn't use a hoagie. He'd use a tortilla. But he would put a sausage in it.And never call my vagina a tortilla. It's thicker than that. How about hoagie hole?Hoagie hole. See, that makes me think of something that like you would find on a putt,
23:39putt, golf course. The hoagie hole? Yeah, go past the hoagie hole. And then you'll find the18th hole. It makes me think of something that you would eat at like a Texas State Fair.Yeah. A hoagie on a stick. Oh, it's like a hoagie. Oh, it's like a hoagie.Like on the inside is a cheeseburger.Yeah.Yeah.Like a corn dog, but with a hoagie and a cheeseburger combined.That actually sounds fucking great.
24:01Man, we are just spit balls on it.I mean, it's just a, I don't know what it is.I don't know if we've just got some sort of, you know.No, inventors.Yeah.Spice.Yeah.Spice.
24:14That's what I'm feeling.I'm feeling spice here.It's a real spicy a show.Bobby Blake cooks with a lot of spices, you guys.You're right, man.That's a specie, spicy, a meat bowl.A spicy, spicy, a meat, a bowl.Oh, man.
24:30I didn't even get to talk about my new favorite show yet.What's your new favorite show?Oh, my God, it's so good.Okay.It's called You're the Worst.I've heard about this show.Someone told me, oh, Jackie, like, like, you know,kind of like a rom-com kind of thing.
24:45It's basically what I, have I talked about in here?I watch difficult people, Amy Pollard.new productionlike she produced this new showcalled Difficult People's on HuluIt's terribleIt's terribleIt looks terrible
24:59You're the worstIs everything that that showWanted to beIt is very well writtenIt's about two shitty peopleThat fall in love with each otherAnd it is hilariousIt's very grounded in real life
25:12And it is fantasticI just watched a whole first seasonIt's on FXBut it's also on Hulu right nowand their new seasons coming out soonand I justI fell in love with itbecause everybody's shitty
25:26YeahEverybody's shittyAnd it's just a fun showAbout shitty peopleYou know what I've fallen in loveWith a show about a terrible person as wellReviewWhat's that?
25:36I love this showIt's a guy thatIt's based on an Australian showThe whole premise is thatThe host reviews life experiencesOohWhere theyIt's a comedy show
25:47Where people will write inIt's likewhat's it like to steal something?Like what's it?And then it kind of starts off like,what's it like to get addicted to something?And then the host, it starts offas like this kind of review thing, but then it
25:59starts turning into somethingtotally different where there's an actualplot to it because the reviews that thisguy's doing ends up destroyinghis life completely.Because the third episode, the firstepisodes are really good. It's like stealing,addiction, things like that. And the third episode
26:15is called pancakes, divorce pancakes.And you have to, a firstlike, what's it like to eat 15 pancakes?And then it's like, what's itlike to get divorced? And he'shappily married with a kid, and hehas to get divorced from his wifewithout telling his wife, why.
26:31And he just destroys his up.Leo Allen's a writer on it.Ooh.Yeah, and he's all, he actuallyhe plays a character in it too. He playslike his, um, he plays the guy'swhat is it, uh, addiction specialist, like hissponsor. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is this, what
26:47what is it on? Gami Central.The second season just started.And it's all on Hulu Plus.And the original one is fantastic as well.It's much darker.The Australian one, yeah.Because it's like, what's it like...Well, yeah, everything's darker in Australia.
27:00It's like what you're actually asking about is risk.What's it like to risk something?So the guy becomes a drug mule and tries to smuggle drugs like heroin back from Thailand to Australia.And it gets very dark.Wow.That sounds awesome.It's my new...I love new shows.
27:18Yeah.It's my new favorite.Yeah, review is my new favorite show.All right, hell of you.It's fantastic, yeah.Molly, you got a new one?I've been watching on HBO Show Me a Hero,David Simon's new thing, the guy who did The Wire.
27:29Oh, yeah, how is that?It is excellent.It's serious, but it is excellent.The acting is awesome.And it's so interesting.It's about desegregating Yonkers in 1989.It is so good.I really, really, really, really recommend it.
27:44Three different shows.Yeah, three different shows.And Alfred Molina's in this one.Yeah, he's really.I love Alfred Molina.He's really good.The woman from 40-year-old Virgin is there.If I was a rich man.
28:01Dev.He's really good.I know.I know.I know.I had to think about it.It's fiddler.Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
28:1340-year-old virgin?The lady from 40-year-old virgin.The sexy one in her early 40s?Yes.She is, she playsAnd Bingja Malcovic as wellCatherine KeenerYes, thank you
28:23Good jobThis was me and Gideon's about like the firstThe DepthsWe spent the first three episodesTrying to be likeWho is this ladyAnd we wouldn't look it upBecause we were trying to figure it out
28:31She's excellentThe whole it's I really reallyRecommendial Me HeroIt's really goodPerfectYeahNow I know what I'm doingFor the rest of my week
28:40YesI canI can do that as wellAfter I'm done playingMass EffectBoring not a videogame podcast. No, it's not.We know nothing about it. Hey, video games. I don't get it.
28:54Yuck, yuck, yuck. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Unless it's the sins.Love the Sims. You love the Sims.The Sims is a wonderful game. Make them fuck. Take away the door. Set the house on fire.I loved also put him in the pool, making them swing. Take it out the ladder.You can make them fuck explicitly? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You had to get the, I had the speciallove package.So they had like avibrating bed that if you made
29:23them get into the vibrating bed, they'd fuck in the bed.What?I only had SimCity and my citieswould always just fail immediately.SimCity is very difficult.The Sims is a wonderful game.Until you get to the point where you could have Godzilla come inand destroy the whole city.
29:38Yeah. My cities didn't survive long enough. They woulddie immediately. I don't know what I was doing wrong.It's all about the pipes.Yeah. It's all about the pipes.always is about the pipe.Yeah, you see that again.Oh, that's what you don't know is those.It's all about the pipes.
29:55It's all about the pipes.You don't got pipes, you don't have a city.I mean, yeah, show me that's all about municipality.Yeah, yeah.All right, so yeah, you're fucking municipal.Yeah, enterprise.Those are all the government words I know.Municipality, enterprise.
30:15Infrastructure.The zone.Infrastructure. You got your zone. You got your commercial zone.You got your pipes.Residential zone.There could be a Sim City inspired by Show Me a Hero, though, where you have to build a desegregate city.It would be a socially conscious video game.Make the Sims fuck.
30:43Oh, the other fun thing to do is to just lock them in a room.Yeah, see what they do.Do they fight?They die.Yeah.They die.Yeah.Also, I would spend all my time making somebody like make them fall in love with each other and then I would immediately turn and make them like hate one of them make the other one hate them.
31:03It was great.It was really like a social experiment.Yeah.It sounds negative for a greater like thinking about like a generation of people playing this game.It sounds like they may grow up with really kind of like, I'm fine.No, it's getting all of it out.You get it out.Yeah, because I wasn't fucking, so I was just like,
31:22oh, I got to make somebody fuck.I mean, I've never since walled in dozens of people in a...Taking the doorway.I've never done that.Man, it would be caught in the Sims.We are in an enclosed space right now, so I'm glad that you don't do that.And the Sims had a bit of a graveyard going on in the backyard.Because if they die in the house, they get buried in the yard.
31:45Oh, yeah.or by the game?The game.It's great.So it's also a lesson in mortality.If I wasn't attachedto the speaker system by theseheadphones, I would slowly back out of the room, right?
31:58It's fine. No, it's fine.The door is fine. The doors are going anywhere,Molly. The door is fine. The locks on theoutside. Yeah, don't worry about it.We didn't change the code.No. At least we'd die together.Man, that would be a good, like,like suicide thing, though. Lock somebody
32:16And then you have to do a podcast until you die.That would be pretty fucking cool.Molly?No, not in.Molly?Molly?I'm already looking at that.There's a square missing from the ceiling.
32:26I'm going to see if you can crawl out there.But that's going to be a rough way out.Oh, we have to go through the sewer?There is no way out.No way out.You know, I've never been claustrophobic until maybe now.Yeah, but we can play the Hannah Montana guitar.We have the air conditioning on.
32:44There's a lot of terrifying skulls.Oh, it's fine. Just remember, no way out is the mantra that I tell myself every single day.I stare at these walls and they start coming in a little closer and closer.Technology. Black Mirror.No windows.You know, watch Black Mirror.I haven't watched Black Mirror and I don't want to.So good.
33:03It's too scary.They're making an American version.Oh, cool.Oh, watch it.I'm scared. I'm very scared.And my brother loves it, but he said that the episode where that guy who looks like him is in it is the scariest one.It's very scary.Yeah.
33:16But he's also,that guy's alsoin another romance moviethat I love,it's called About Time.And that guy is fantastic.I don't know what's name.Marcus.
33:25Um-Hull.Um-Hull?Sure.Dom-Hull?I know he's a Brit or maybe an Irishman.Or maybe a Scotsman.Yes, he's red-eddon.Yeah.
33:34Yeah.Stratberry blondey.What is he?Domchol.Oh, yeah.Oh, yeah.Yeah.Yeah, yeah.
33:41He's from Dublin.Oh.Sexy.Dunhall.Glellan.Irish in Ex Machina.Ex Machina.But in Black Mirror and in About Time, he is.
33:50Oh.Because that's his real voice.He put on a show voice.He put on a character to play the play.Be the pot.He's a weird-looking fella.He is a weird-looking guy.But I don't know why.
34:03It has nothing to do with your brother.I think it's because of the About Time.That's why I fell in off with it.I don't think that he looks that much like my brother.But other people who know my brother think that he looks like.I don't think he looks like a lot like your brother.I'm not into it either.I'm not buying it.
34:15I don't buy it either.It's just because he's fair-haired.Very fair-haired, very fair skin, fair eyebrows.Eh.Yeah, but is your brother from fucking Ireland?Is he black mirror?Only generationally.Yeah, that's true.
34:28That's true.It's covered in fuckles.He's descendants from people in Ireland.I love it.I love it.That's great.We want to talk about them VMAs at all from a week or two ago?We don't have to.
34:44Well, Molly, Molly, what are you doing?No, we don't have to.I liked Nikki Minaj a lot.I loved Kanye's speech, the end.Isn't he going to be president or something?Yeah, he goofed about it.I think he was goofed.Was he being a goof?
34:56I think he was goofing because somebody in the audience was like, Kanye for president.So there's a theory that he was just yes-handing it, you know.His face is so sour.It is sour, but it's, oh, God, I love watching him react to things.When Taylor was on stage, he pretended to go to sleep on Kim Kardashian's shoulder.That's sassy.He's just a little too sassy for me.He's very sassy.
35:17Taylor Swift introduced him and she was very gracious.He was very gracious to her, but then he spoke for 25 minutes out of the two minutes that MTV allotted to him.That was fun.He's a rule breaker.25 minutes.That's like the opposite.That's like boring.A lot of it was silence.
35:33That was the best part.See, this is why you got to teach your children boundaries.They turn out like Kanye, raised by academics.Give up the world.He was very close with his mother.She probably taught him a lotHe wraps about her a lotNo, I did, I liked his speech a lot
35:50Taylor Swift was fineNicky's opening was greatExcept that Taylor Swift showed upAt the middle of it to be likeWe're not fighting anymoreOh well you want to hear a blind item about thatYeah let's get themWe can't see them
36:01Yeah well no this is just a bit of a previewBecause we've got some super juicyBlind items todayJuicyJuicy juicySuper juicyAll right check this outEvery award show needs
36:11Talking points for the next dayThey need moments of surprise or shock or controversy for the press to cover and for the fans to talk about.Some of those moments are like professional wrestling.The moves are planned in advance and everyone plays their part, like the conflict between two women at last night's MTV Video Music Awards.But here's the surprising bit.The producers originally wanted the rapper, who loves to brawl, to continue her feud with a female pop star and call her a bitch on air.That would have actually been a natural extension of a controversy started months ago.However, the pop star's people refused to play and shut that one down fast.
36:52This year, the pop star was not going to be the target of any controversies.That's why the rapper and the pop star wound up doing a collaboration, and the host was set up as the proxy target instead.Yep, that's exactly what happened.All planned.I know exactly what you're talking about, and if you didn't see it, you're like, what?But basically, Nikki and Nicky Minaj and Taylor Swift got into a Twitter fight about Nikki Minaj's very, I think, like, smart and right-on criticism of a kind of structural problem in the music industry that white artists are celebrated more than black artists in terms of critical, in terms of awards, not necessarily in terms of sales.What about Bay?Bay is an exception.
37:32Interesting.But not that I am on Taylor Swift's side.Well, when you look at the like amount of Grammys that black artists ever see.We're just giving you shit.I'm throwing a hail bay up there.Hell Bay.But so anyway, they had their little fight, but then they did their opening number.Nikki was supposed to do the opening number, but then Taylor came out in the middle of it and they did it together.
37:56But Nikki was supposed to call her a bitch in the middle of it?Apparently.Nikki was apparently supposed to call her a bitch at one point in the show.But instead, she did call Miley Cyrus a bitch.and it was pretty great.She was like,it was great because she thinks...What was the context?
38:16Was it like, Miley, you're a bitch?So she, okay, so she won best hip-hop videoor best hip-hop song, I don't remember.And then she was like, I want to thank my pastor.And then she was like, all right,and she gave a nice little speech.And then she was like, so now it's back to this bitchwho had a lot to say about me in the press.
38:32And then she turned her face to Mileyand was like, what's good, Miley?And Miley...I like that you said to that.the widest you could possibly say.Continue.And, Miley.What is good, Miley?
38:45Good.Miley acted like she,maybe it was all scripted.But Miley, I mean, you know,as you said, it's all choreograph.Is that when she showed her tits?She is a quote-unquote actress.Yes, she went to LaGuardia for theater,
39:00which I didn't know until today.LaGuardia Airport.That would make a lot of sense.Real bad theater.I show my day.And a dick goes in me.Not Miley. Nicky, Nikki went to LaGuardia High School for prestigious New York High School fortheater.
39:18But anyway, she called Miley a bitch and Miley reacted really awkwardly and was like, oh, we alldone interviews in the press.That's what she's in?She was like, we all know how they twist our words.But she did end up calling somebody a bitch, but it wasn't Taylor Swift.Yep.Redirecting it back somewhere else.All these things.
39:38All plan.But Nick.Mickey Minaj and Taylor Swift are not BFFs now.They just are tolerating each other.They are tolerating each other.They seem to be tolerating each other.Is it all a lie?Is it something that they really don't give a fuck about each other?
39:52They both are millionaires.Who fucking cares?I would imagine it's all a lie.Right?I think it's all a lie.I think it's the easiest lie that the media sells us.I think it would be really easy to openly and actually hate Miley Cyrusbecause I'm not a huge man of her,
40:07but I imagine if you're in that industry that you could.You just look at her and you're like, I've got something to say to you.But like, look at Taylor Swift.She's got a dumb face.She's just a whatever, whatever.Nikki Minaj, very talented, strong woman.But, like, they don't need, they're not in the same arena.I mean, they are when it comes to, like, pop music and what people listen to you.
40:25But you don't choose, like, I can only listen to Taylor Swift or Nikki Minaj.No, no.But I think that, I mean, I guess the beef constructed or real, but even if it's all fake,The beef is like Taylor gets all, like Taylor is like the, like the queen of pop right now.Right.I mean, she ain't no Bay.Everybody knows what I ain't no Bay.Bay is the queen of pop.
40:50But Taylor is like, I guess, the vice president.No, she's like the angel.Yeah.She's the angel.Nikki Minaj is the devil.And Bay is the queen.Yeah.Yeah, I think that's right.
41:03That's a six-year-olds.A fucking explanation of it.It is she.And it has something to do with black and white.I'm just saying it.But Nikki Minaj has personality and she's an interesting artist.And Taylor Swift, I just listen.She's a borough.
41:21Boro.I guess that she has some talent.She writes her songs, whatever.But she's just a borough.I completely, she's a rego and a borough.It's her.It's her boring face.She's just.
41:32The problem is why these young women have so much makeup.No, they don't need it.Yeah, this has never happened before.I'm getting old.I'm sorry.You need some of that HD makeup.Yeah, that is something I need.HD makeup?
41:52You don't need it.You look great.You got no creases.No crease.I'm going to start taping up my cheeks.I think that's going to be my new thing.Jackie, why do you look so tight and upset?Like, oh, I'm taping up my cheeks.
42:07That's what we need you to be is just look more upset.Tighten upset. Tighten upset.Tighten upset.Thanks guys.I knew you would support me.Oh, yeah.No, we'll all have smile lines, I think.That's our problem, as people who like to laugh.
42:22We'll have saggy, crinkly smile lines.That's why we should start working on not moving our faces anymore.Yeah.I don't like to laugh.It's just a reaction that I have.Aw.I would like it if I cried.Ew.
42:36But I can't cry.I am, so I laugh.I would enjoy it if I cried.I can't cry.All right, it's time for the list.Oh, it's on the list.Yeah, got to have that list.You know what?
42:54The list isn't all that great today.We're scrapping the list.The list isn't all that great.It's like history's most high-functioning alcoholics.Me.We had, Jackie.I just won the Greek Award, thank you.you everybody out there
43:08for voting for me.I did vote for you.As the best trunk around.Well, it was the best regular.Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.Norm.The norm.Yeah, the norm.
43:18From Cheers.Yes, the best,the best alcoholicwho cannot standtheir spouse.Aw, that's sad.Beer.I don't have Doug calling me.
43:28Is Jackie there?Tell him, I'm gone.I went somewhere else.That's so sad.Yeah, see, that can't, that isn't happen anymore.You don't have spouses calling up bars.That's my favorite part of Cheers.When we were talking about, we were talking about Sixth and City earlier.
43:48Of course.I was talking about the differences of then and now.And I was like, in Cheers, I think the only thing that's really that different in like bar life is that you don't have somebody calling up at a bar to see if you're there.Yeah.But you might text friends and be like, my significant other isn't responding.Are you with them?But it's different.That's cheeky.
44:08Yeah, that's real cheeky.I don't do that.It sounds like you do that.It sounds like you fucking do that.That's a bad thing to do to a person.Yeah, I don't do that.That's a bad thing to do.But that's if you wanted to check up on them, you could.
44:18It's a yucky thing to do.That's so weird.That's so weird.I know you're right.I know you don't do that.I know you don't do that.I know you don't do that.I can't imagine.
44:26If Doug didn't respond, oh, he's fucking not looking at his phone right now.Don't you don't worry?You're not like he's.He's dead.He's got to be dead.Oh!No, that's my mother.That's how my mother reacts when I don't text her back.
44:42Anyway.Anyway, yeah, high-functioning alcoholics, Winston Churchill, Hemingway, W.C. Fields.And we know those things.We've got four blind items to get to.All right.So let's go for these blind items.We can't see them.Yeah.
44:58Let's start with the MTV Video Music Awards.This A-minus list, law and order and law and ordersexual victims unit actress could be her telling more than one personthan that she didn't know why the fuck she agreed to show upand that everyone looked and acted like they were 12 and playing dress-up.I know who it was.It was Mariska Hagerte because she is in bad blood,which is Taylor Swift's stupid video.
45:30Oh, she knew it.Because it's like about like powerful women kicking ass or something.And would you like to see a picture of Mariska Hargatay?She's so pissed.She looked out of place.Look at how pissed she is.She's just so, I mean, completely understandable.I would feel too old at the VMAs.
45:45Yeah.And Mariska Haggurte is like probably 50.I'm just glad you keep saying her name because I'll never say it right.Mariska Haggurte.Mariska Haggertay.Too hard.Mariska Haggertay.She's the child of...
45:57A rape victim.In the fiction.Hargat.Hargat.Hargat.Not Haggerton.Hargat.Mariska Hargartee.
46:04Mariska Hargette.Mariska Hargette.In real life, she's the child of Jane Mansfield.And Mickey Hargat.And Mickey Hargat.Hargat.I believe that they died in a car crash when she was in the car.Interesting.
46:17Is that why she's so good at being detective?Olivia Benson.Olivia Benson?Maybe.I think she did have a somewhat traumatic child.Rape victim.Also the product of a rape.If you've ever seen one episode of law.
46:32It's always, I love the show.It's just always like, yeah, but do you know I was also raped?It's a bad show.I know, you were raped?I'm sorry.Do you remember when I went undercover in the prison?Do you remember what happened?And it was terrible.
46:45I know.Do you remember what happened when my mother when I was born?I know.And she had you and that's fantastic.And I'm glad you're alive.But Mariska Hargate was in Taylor Swift's bad blood video.Was she the only older person in it?Yeah.
47:02She's also got a brother named Zoltan.Cool.I never do that.Hell yeah.Zoltan Hargatee.Yikes.Zoltan Hargatay.Are they Ruskis?
47:14I don't know if they...Is it a rooski?I think they might be Czech.Well, their dad's the Hargatay.I think the dad might have...But isn't his name like Marvin, what did you say his name was?Meskel?Mickey.
47:26Mcky.I knew it was a name.Yeah.It's probably Mescal.It's probably Mescal.It's probably Mescal.He's got a son named Zorg.And Mariska.
47:38Hungarian.Hungarian.Interesting.That Hungarian makes no sense.Yeah, the language.And his real name is Michlos.Michael Hargete.Cool.
47:49From Budapest.Thank you for saying Budapest in the accent as well.Budapest.He was a bodybuilder, which makes sense that he was married to Jane Mansfield.Mariska Haggertay.Is big.Gigantic lady.Like a linebacker.
48:04Really?Yeah. Look at her.On TV, even, you can see she's like head taller than all the other women.And her shoulders are wide.Strong shoulders.Yeah. I have noticed that. I have noticed that.Yeah, she's a strong lady.I have noticed that. Retweet.
48:21Mark McGrath.I have noticed your shoulders.Retweet. Retweet.Next up.This former A-plus list movie actor who can barely get work.now because of some controversial things he's said is on a daily regimen of HGH and steroidsto go with his excessive booze intake.He is a deranged mess right now.
48:49Deranged mess.Wow.Oh, yeah, deranged mess.He said some.Mel Gibson.Yep.Wow, I can't believe it.That was a fuck.
48:57I just, I want to thank you, Marcus, and you, Molly, for believing in me.That was a Hail Mary.A hail bay.It was a hail bay.That was a hail bay, thouso.Thousand percent.And I just wanted to thank you guys for being there for me.To be fair, when we say, what was it, unhinged?
49:15A deranged mess.The first name that comes to mind should be Mel Gibson.Yes.But you did get it, Jackie.Yeah.This is a picture of Mel Gibson as he exists today.He doesn't look that bad.I don't know.
49:28He doesn't look that bad, but he's got a glimmer in his eye.He's got a deranged glimmer.Yeah, he's cray.Oh, poor.It's just like, I recently did watch the first 20 minutes of what women want.And remember when everybody...What happened after that?Did you walk away from the TV?
49:44Gave up real hard.I put out another episode of Zach's in the city.And I just, I remembered a...What happened?Sorry.I just poured the jizzy on my crotch.It just surprised.I'm sorry.
50:01I saw that happen.I was thinking about how I just used to be so in love with him.And what women want came out and it was on TBS all the time.And I just was like, for an older man, like, I'm actually like, I'm really attracted him.I think I might have been 12 or 13 at the time.And it's just, it all went downhill.Even now he's looking pretty good, even with the glimmer of derange.I mean, this is him and his 24-year-old equestrian girlfriend.
50:2724.He's wearing all denim, though.Bitch, you're not looking at the social media.No, he's, you know, he looks fine for an old.guy if he wasn't a like bigoted anti-semit homophobe monster you know he's a homophobewhen did we throw that one in there maybe homophob was too generous yeah I think we're thrown I thinkI think he just threw that one in there for good measure I might I might have I thought that he hateseverybody though but but yes maybe I'll have he loves Jews or hate Jews hates hates he's
50:55he's real down on the Jews but he made the Jesus movie yeah well that's what they that's what theythat's why that's when down on the Jews first came upbecause it's like, as far as I've never seen it, but isn't it like just sort of like idle, idle Jews?There's like, we must kill the Jesus.Right.You can like Jews until the year zero when you have to depart from them and worship Jesus.And if you didn't, then you're a devil person.Cool.
51:18Yeah, the devil's synagogue, as they call it in Revelations.Yikes.Somebody's been checking up on their Bible lately.Well, I did get some pamphlets.Where are you getting these pamphlets from?Time Square.Subway.Oh, okay.
51:32All right, okay.You're the Times Square subway station?Yeah, the people that maintain that the world ag, the time of tribunal.Is it about to end?No, that it actually ended on May 11th, 2012.Are we ghosts?Yeah.No, we're just all in hell.
51:48We're all in hell right now.I'll take that.God stopped saving people in 2013.You see.Did I talk about it in here that I read the first two books have left behind?I didn't realize it was a Jesus book.noKirk Cameron's
52:06I thought that it was just a postapocalypticbook and I was likeoh coolI love post apocalyptic booksthat was like the hunger gamesyeah and then likein the second book
52:14I was likewait a secondthis is all aboutJesusthat is so funny Jackieyou got to the second booksecond bookI thought it was cool
52:25because everybody disappearedand their clotheswere left behindand likefolded upI was like coolthat's what does it meanDoes Jesus not even come up in the first one?
52:36I don't, I mean, not that I remember.I think this was at a time when I was reading but wasn't really reading, you know?I just remember the second book and everyone was like, why are you buying the second book?I'm like, I liked it.I'm going to get the second book.And then it must have been about halfway through.It was like, oh, yeah, no, no, no, I can't buy this anymore.I can't read this anymore.
52:57So, you know, you learn a lot when you don't read between the lines,which didn't have to read between the lines,just have to read it.Next up, the dad of this A-plus list singeris going to be a dad again.He got one of the singer's backup dancers pregnant.Don't tell my heart, my achy-bricky heart?No.
53:21Good guess.Not Alan Thick, because Robin Thick is not A-plus anymore.No, no, no, no.This is a girl singer's dadthat got one of the girl-singer's backup dancers,pregnant.And it's not Miley Cyrus?No.
53:34Not Beyonce's dad.No, no, no, not Beyonce's dad.Taylor Swift's dad?Let's just say that this family has a bit of a thing for backup dancers.J-bo?No.This singer married one of her...Oh, Britney Spears.
53:49Britney Spears.Wait, her father got one of her backup dancers pregnant.Maybe that's why she seemed so pissed at the VMAs.Was she pissed?She seemed pissed.Did she?Yeah.God, she looks so good
54:03She did look greatBut she just didn'tShe seemed maybe deadOn the insideHow old is her fine?I guess she's not that oldIn my headI think she's because I'm so young
54:12She's the same age as youNo I think she's likeOur brothers is ageNo no no she's my ageOh greatYeahGive me a few you of more years MarcusOh great
54:21She's veryAnother one?GreatThank GodIs she like Jennifer LawrenceWho's like five years youngerThan we are greatYeah
54:28She's likeYeah her and Beyonceare pretty much the same age.Yeah.I do love the Beyonce's in her 30s.That makes me feel great about the 30s.I mean...Oh, yeah.
54:36It's only...We're only looking up.It doesn't just happen, you know.It doesn't just happen when you hit 30.Just when you hit 30, things just don't automatically start going great.I got two years and then everything's going to be great.And God, I won't be in hell anymore.And you're going to take me up there.
54:52My clothes are going to be on the seat.You'll all see.Kirk Cameron will guide me.Candice Cameron will be there too.Oh, man.Ugh, yuck.She's there.She is with her brother.
55:05Cameron, Candice, per.All right, last stop.This is a weird one.This is a real weird one.This is a first person one.This blind item comes from an extra on the set of a film.Said, I was cast as an extra in a movie with a friend.The lead actor has been famous for a long time.
55:24So they made us do something I had never done.Sign an agreement saying that we would not discuss.religion on the set at all, and we would not make eye contact with the lead actor.At first, I thought it was weird, but due to his reputation, I decided it wasn't all thatsurprising.When we got ready to film, the lead actor gets on the set and starts having a full-on breakdown.He's pulling at his shirt saying that it was choking him and he can't breathe.Then he rips off his shirt and runs off the set.
55:56The crew immediately puts all of us extras in the holding.and a full eight hours later,we get an announcement that says the lead actoris sorry for what happenedand wanted to treat everyone to Starbucks to make up for.That's it?Tom Cruise.Yeah, it's Tom Cruise.
56:15Damn, yeah, bitch.I got it.Yeah, bitch.He should have at least gotten stakes or something.Starbucks?Starbucks.Starbucks?You're already getting free coffee.
56:28You're an extra you're at least getting free coffee.Billy's getting free coffee.That's ridiculous.Yeah, 450 latte.That's the worst part two is it once you fucking sign that contract, it's like, it's not like any of them you just leave.And be like, oh, this is taking too long, I got to go.Because you fucking sign your soul away to stay on there for a long fucking time.And man, ooh, not even look him in the eye.
56:48Yeah, not look him in the eye, not discuss religion.Well, that's, you know.Yeah, because it's just uncouth to do that anyway.Yeah, you're just not supposed to talk about religion at work.Hey man, amen, you believe a God.But I do like the idea that Tom Cruise is so paranoid that he thinks that just like hundreds of extras are going to be standing around being like, he's a Scientologist.Did you know that? Did you write it in the newspapers?You see that movie?
57:12He's a Scientologist. Get him out of here.Oh, he can't even wear a shirt. Scientologists can't wear shirt.Because they can't ban them from discussing movies.It's basically going clear that he doesn't want them to talk about.Well, yeah. And all of his life.You're right.His entire public persona, yeah.Yeah, he's losing it, man.
57:30He's losing it hard.It's because they won't let him leave because he wants to leave to go be around his daughter and then we'll let him go.Yeah.Yeah.He's losing it.He's living a movie.We saw him jump on the couch during that Oprah interview.Remember when he was in love?
57:45Yeah.It was the love, though.I mean, back then it was love.Now he's just great.And I think that it's like, man, it's just like Jontra.We got to get in there, man.Yeah, right.I think the only way to do it, Henry, I'm sorry, you have to join Scientology.
58:00and I know you listen to this podcastand you're the only one that can save them.Yeah.You're their Obi-Wan.Only one that we know at least.You need to get in. You need to succumb.You need to get in on the inside and save them for all of us.So is this to say that our official page 7 editorial stance is
58:17Supporting Henry?Always supporting Henry.I mean getting into Scientology.Yes.We're going to have to lose him for about 15 years, though.You know, we support Jantra.I work with him very closely.be worth it, though.
58:31To save Jontra and to save Tom Cruise for all of humanity.15 years, you think?15 years.I, okay.I, yes, would mourn the loss of a friend.But we would gain.But I would.Your brother has lived more than that.
58:50I work with him very closely on a number of projects.You know, the thing is they'll throw the Smiths in there.The Smiths?Amy, we'll take what we can get.Wait, the Smith.We'll throw the.Smith, like Morrissey?No.
59:02Will Smith and Janet Pinkin.He'll save them too.He'll gonna go in.And then he's gonna have a bunch of movieswritten about him where he's the herothat went into Scientology and kick the door openand save all to liberty.Your brother, we're at the whole damn bunch
59:16put together.And how does that help us?Because like we'll be in the movie.This scene will be the first scene of the movie.Yeah, like we're gonna be in the movie.Like we're like playing ourselves.Yeah.And then, like, and then we're all going to be famous because, like, CCR saved all these comedians.
59:34And we're all going to get the thanks for it while Henry has lost his fucking mind.Yeah.Because he had to do the whole thing.Because he had to be in Scientology for 15 years.Yeah.Yeah.And then Nicole Kidman, too.Oh, Nicole Kimman, she was, she's out.
59:47I mean, you know.What about Katie Holmes?She's out.She's out.But she's still in danger.There's a lot of them in there.A lot more than you'd probably think.Ooh.
59:57Maybe you get to have sex with Jenna Elfman.I mean.And, ew.Think about that, Henry.You could have sex with Jenna Elfman.Yeah, you could be the Greg to her Dharma.You guys can't have dogs together.That's all, anybody cares about with me with Jenna Elkman.
01:00:11Henry, if you don't want to do this, you don't have to.You have to do it for all of us.You know what?I think I'm, I'm on, I think I got him.I got him.I got him. I think he's going to.Molly?I mean, I'll support it.
01:00:22I don't know.All right.All right.All right, we got to get out of here.Now that, man, this is bitballing.We're on flight.I mean, we are all.on fire with spitball.
01:00:32We got to go.We got to go.Six good ideas today.Yeah.Because we got to go make money now.Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.And copyright all.All of it.
01:00:40All of it.All of it.Pat pending.Copyright.I'm Jackie's Brooks.I'm Miley Nuff.I'm Marcus Parks.Thank you, Henry.
01:00:45Thank you for giving your soulover to an alien religion, Henry.For more shows like the one you just listened to,go to cavecomedyradio.com.
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