Page 7 - Episode 134: Spitballin'

Episode Date: September 9, 2015

Jackie, Molly and Marcus talk drama at the VMAs, celebrity divorces, and plan to take down scientology from the inside. Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

No, I'm not loud. Now I hear nothing. You don't hear anything? No, I do. Jack, you can't hear his, though. Don't. Fake. Don't shut it off.

No, you... I'm a hot. I'm a hot. Although today it's 94. But the rest of the week, all low 80s, guys. Yeah. It's a freaking fall, culturally. Culturally.

Climate-wise, I don't know. You have small culturally in his fall. Can't wear white anymore. I know, bitch, I got yelled after wearing white yesterday. I was like, you can wear white on Labor Day. For sure. It was these teens. Teenagers?

Yeah. Like, do they street harass you about it? Well, yeah. As you were like, you can't wear that. I can wear white shorts. I mean, I shouldn't. No one ever should. But I was.

I had a bathing. suit on, who cares? To the extent to which anybody can wear white shorts, you can wear on Labor Day. Yes, a thousand percent. Is that even a thing anymore? I don't think it is. Welcome to page seven, everybody. I mean, apparently,

I'm Jackie Zerowski. I'm Molly Neffle. I know that black and white is in this season. That's what all the bishes are saying. Really? Yeah, black and white. Chromatic? Is that chromatic? Anti-chromatic. Is it anti-chromatic?

Bi-chromatic? Bi-chromatic? When you say black and white, do you mean like a black pants white shirt? Because I've been doing that out of just kind of poverty, like just a freeback. I think, yeah, your poverty is finally saving you. Okay, good. But is it like, are we talking checkers, stripes? I think it's more like a pattern.

See, I was thinking checkers. Checkers. I don't think it's checkers. I don't think we're not going to Avril Levine this summer. Is ska back in? No. A thousand percent no. Because if it is, I'm ready.

I've been ready Avril Levine Divorce Divorced Oh no And she had Lyme disease recently Oh my gosh It's probably because of the Lyme disease

She had a really hard time Husband was like fuck this Not dealing with tick in her She had a hard time She cried about it a while ago on CNN Oh you just get tired But you get really tired for a really long time That's great

I need a reason to be like no Limes It's Limes Take a break and tell people it's live. I got to go home. It's my lines. I'm sorry, my lines. Oh, my lines.

Jackie's so tired. She's dreaming for limes. I'm dreaming for limes. I'll take it, man. Do I get to lose weight and sleep all the time? Ooh, you get a rash, too. Well, the rash. A friend of mine who had limes lost a lot of weight, but not in a healthy way.

He was very sick. Yeah, but, man, bring it on. I need to lose some of the sun. summer weight I've gained, which you're not supposed to in the summer. No, I always gain weight in the summer, too, because you drink way more. Yeah, me as well. I got a summer belly going. I got a summer beer belly going.

Yeah. My T-shirts are not fitting well anymore. I have summer arm fat. And I'm like, I'm drinking all this beer's going right to my arms. Beer and ribs. Yeah, oh, man. I wish there were more ribs in my life. Have you not been eating a lot of ribs this summer?

No, I haven't. In fact, I was just out of the bar getting a drink, and I saw on a plate someone had a tofu taco and it was just chunks of tofu with like stuff. It just looks so unappetizing. It's like, ugh, at least put, I don't know, eat a corn taco. You want ribs on your taco. Put a rib on it. Or put some broccoli on it.

I'll eat broccoli taco. Wait, so it's been a while since I've eaten ribs. And granted, I used to love them. But if you put a rib on a taco, would you have to just gnaw all the food around the bone? And then it would be like a meat, like a food lullipop. Yeah, but I'd want someone to shred the meat off of the bone. bone for me. You wouldn't put the bone in the taco. Presumably you get

the rib meat off of the rib before you put it in the taco. I see. That would make the most sense. Although the food lollipop idea does have some merit. I mean everybody loves a kebab. Yeah, just use a bone as a kebab. Put on a food around it, yeah. I like that bacon

around it. And then put it, oh yeah, you can put like a hot dog bun around it. Just chew around a bone like a lot. I know. And you know, we're just spitballing here. We're just spitballing. If it sounds like something that a dog would do, then we can work on that. Maybe that's part of it out. Man, I think that's something that Aver Levine had that I didn't was those, what are they called? Rists. Skinny wrist. She had

skinny wrists. She had rists. You're making tiny little circles around your wrists. The sock, the squeezies. Wrist bands. Yeah, the sweat bands. I wore those in high school. But I bet it's great for arms sweat. Yeah. Did you have an arm sweat problem? No, I wore them out of fashion because I was a Scott kid. Aver Levine.

I actually heard a ska band yesterday at the beach, and they were terrible. And what I wanted to hear, and I was drunk enough, to keep yelling for Jimmy Buffett covers. Yeah, a Scott Jimmy Buffett cover band is a great idea. As long as it's Jimmy Ball. As long as it, you know, throw a red red one. I'll listen to it. You were on the beach. I don't want to hear you're like, burp-pur.

And then the guy was just like, ugh. Where did you go to the beach? Rockaways. And a scoban band was there? Yes, and someone asked for something like Sublime, and he goes, I got the perfect song for you. And the song was called Sublime-like Song, and it didn't sound like sublime. It sounded like garbage. The band?

The band's not... Which I wouldn't be if I was at the God's... damn beach uh yeah i love the scah when i was a child i don't think that i want a ska cover band at rockaway beach playing sublime covers doesn't sound right what they weren't even playing sublime covers they had their own song yeah called sublime like song no do a cover and do a

cheeseburger and paradise cover yes jimmy buffett classic rock that's what i want to hear at the beach man there is there are no scott covers of Jimmy Buffett songs. Man, it's something they're missing out on. We can fill this hole. I do still have my trumpet. Play trumpet? Yeah. Can you still play it? Can you play I'd have to warm up for a little while?

You'd have to be kicking out your legs while you do it though. Isn't that a skanking? Yeah, skanking, yeah. You go pick it up, pick it up, pick it up, pick it up. Yep. Yeah, no, I'm familiar with all these things. I can definitely, I can bring it. If you need me, if you ever need a trumpet in the cowman, you got my number. like a cover of like El Paso or Ring of Fire

or something like that. For sure I know Ring of Fire. Oh nice. Man things are coming together. I mean it's a spitballing episode. We're spitballing a lot of real good things here. We're spitballing everybody. We're spitballing and I actually miss the hell out of playing trumpet so I would totally totally jam with somebody if they want to

want to jam. Doesn't that make your cheeks saggy? It's a good question. I think she's got sag to spare. She's got tight cheeks. You got tight cheeks. You got real tight cheeks. Well, and I don't, I'm not like a Dizzy Gillespie trumpet player where your cheeks puff out like a bullfrog. If anything, it would probably give me like. Kylie Jenner lips might be more of a problem.

That sounds fantastic. Your lips get all puffy. Purst and puffy. Purse. I wish you could even look on Molly's face. It's pursed. It's pursed lip stink face. It's cursed.

Oh, poor Averill is splitting up with her man, Chad Kroger. And you know, the other thing about Lyme's disease, brook. quick. The rash that you get is a bullseye. Yes. If you get a bullseye rash, go to the doctor. Immediately. That's Lyme. Wait, is it just one bullseye or is it many as if it were a pattern? And maybe that would be in for the fall.

Maybe this is something I'm looking into. I mean, what I see, the picture that Google uses to represent Lyme disease see the tired, late, middle-aged woman. God, she's so tired. He's really tired. Late middle-aged woman with

our one pant leg rolled up to show a bullseye rash on her leg. It's not going to escape your attention. You're going to notice it. Damn. Yeah, you know when you got limes.

Those ticks, man. They're dangerous little bugs. Caused by the bacterium Borrelia burgdorfori. Oh, it sounds like rich person's disease. Right, guys? It's treatable. It is.

We got to catch it quick, which was what Averalovine's problem was. She didn't catch it quick enough, and then you get really sick. I think that this might, I don't know, I'm not familiar with why she's getting divorced, but it definitely could have played a factor. I don't know. She was married to the guy from Nickelback. I think that is what the factory is. I don't know why they got married in the first place.

They were doing some stuff in the studio. There was a bit of a collaboration. Yuck! They decided they loved each other very much. Chemistry. She was just, Aver Levine was just coming off of three. year marriage to the lead guy from Sum 41. I remember that. I almost

did a spit take just now. She went from Sum 41 to Nickelback. Yeah, I mean, it's Everleaveen. Yeah, but still. I mean, I don't know why we're all, you know, I'm saying, like, she's a paragon of musical integrity. No, she's just a skater girl. Skater girl. That is not the song. I'm a skater girl.

I'm a skater boy. He's got skates on and I love him. I would posit that Everleven's more interesting than and believe me I'm not an Averloven fan despite my Ska things

and the fact that I do sometimes wear ties I've never liked Averloven in fact I've disliked her but I would say she's more interesting as an artist than either some 41 or Nickelback put together

She has a weird mouth Yeah I'm not gonna contest that Remember she smiled without putting her Yeah She does have one of those Sideway smile

There's no There's no actual Like the eyes don't move at all. It's like our eyes and her and that's a fake smile. Everybody knows if you don't smile with your eyes, it's a fake smile. Yes, Tyra taught us that. Oh, hi.

Marcus, you found a picture that's exactly I didn't find a picture. That was the picture that the story used. Because she, that's what she looks like. That was just a picture of her that was sitting in front of me. You're proving Jackie's point. Also, her husband looks like Mark McGrath from Sugar Ray. Yeah, yeah, except

Mark McGrath from 18 years ago. That's a current picture. That's a current that is for, well that's 2013 but he's still got frosted tips. He had frosted tips. Well, and also. He had frosted tips. Let me put out that we don't know what Mark McGrath looks like now.

I mean, I can find out. I think he looks pretty much the same. He's probably still got frosted. He has, Mark McGrath has no reason it. Oh my God. I can't wait to see it. Oh! Oh, he's the same but older.

Ew, he's got it. such an ugly face now. Oh, and just the same. He looks like, he looks like skater boy Ethan Hawk now. He's in Hawks' face. Doesn't he? With a 12-year-old's haircut.

He has a 12-year-old he has the haircut that I had when I was 12 years old. Everybody had that haircut when they were 12. Yeah. I like that the title next to the picture is Mark McGrath is alive and well. Guess nobody gives a fuck about him

He's around guys He's not dead If you Google there's Mark McGrath dead That's the picture you've got Apparently there was a death hoax earlier this year Like in February there was a Mark McGrath death hoax And so he had to release that picture Guys I'm alive and well

Click He is verified on Twitter though Oh man I wonder what was the last thing Mark McGrath said on Twitter. I don't know, but he just had that supergroup. Oh, he's got a serious X-M show. Oh, the last thing he said was really going to miss this. A huge thank you to the staff at Pelican Hill Resort.

This Place is a Dream. Hashtag Newport Life. They chose a picture of a really nice resort where a presumably Sugar Ray played. He went to Newport. He went to Newport. He's 11. and playing Newport. Yeah, he posted a bunch of, yeah, the best was somebody posted on Twitter,

I really like this Mark McGrath album. He retweeted it. Somebody said my name. This song in particular. And then they had a screenshot of their phone playing again and again by Mark McGrath. Yikes. And all it says, just, I really like this album. Mark McGrath was like, my whole month is made.

Not even I love it Not even like this is the best day Oh I love Mark McGregor's just I really like this I have heard it yes I have no opinion on it It is it is on my playlist Retweet This is inoffensive to my sensibility

They love me Mybergast like thank you to the fans Couldn't do it without you Yeah the next one is Nice choice of songs on XM right now So he's really just retweeting people going like, hey. You're alive.

Alive and well. We are acknowledging your existence. Alive and well. Alive and well. Man, I hear there's another free willie on the loose. It's so hot. What? It's John Ham.

John Ham got a divorce. Yeah, I'm psyched to talk about this. Yes, John Ham is devolved. It's his big dick. That's right. That's right, Jackie. Thank you. John M.

That sounds like a Mark McGrath tweet at me. That is right. You said that, joke. I heard you, Jackie. Retweet. Him and his wife after 18 years are breaking up. Damn, man. Yeah.

And isn't it because she wanted kids? Is that what it was? At least I saw that earlier today. She was like, yeah, I wanted kids. And he said he didn't want them. And I kept holding out because I thought maybe he would. change his mind. Bish, he's old now in terms of that.

Yeah, right. I guess not for a dude, but. Yeah, well, and, you know. If he, if his mind isn't changed at this point, it's not going to be changed. Right, 18 years is why she, boop along, yeah, boop, get out of there, but. I wonder how many sluts he's going to fuck right away. Oh, my God, can you imagine? And he's gonna.

I've seen quite a few blind items about Mr. Hamm and his proclivities. That's the thing. I think it's interesting that it's about him not wanting to have kids and not how many fucking tight 20-year-olds he's bone. Maybe I maybe the story that I saw was just gossip But you know We know about goss You know we got the gas

We got the goss Oh yeah we got the goss But boy is he sexy But he's not even doing anything now right? Is he? No and his hair is a little bit stringy Interesting Are we getting classy

No that was from that was an auto play From Us Weekly Thanks Us Weekly You know what that auto play was? That was their montage of John and Jennifer in Happier Times. No, they have a sad music. Pictures of them in happier times. Oh, John.

But also speaking of Happier Times, is Ben Affleck back together with Jennifer Garner? I think they're going to try to make it work. Are they going to try to make it work? I mean, I'm seeing it's splayed. It's spayed. I'm seeing it's spayed. Yeah, it's definitely spayed. But I don't know.

Splayed. Splayed. Let's see what the internet has to say about them being splayed. Everybody's got it. Okay, they've allegedly attended couples therapy. This is from five hours ago. Five hours ago. This is late breaking news.

Hot. They went to couples therapy, but the divorce is still very much on. Damn. Because he won't stop fucking that nanny, I think. I mean, how could you? They're establishing ground rules. for the kids. They did a two-hour session where they're

establishing ground rolls for the kids. Presumably, don't have the nanny that you're fucking around. Possibly. But at the same time, you know she's good with the kids. I mean, that's the thing. He goes to leave him with the nanny in fact. Yeah, that FX's probably like, how am I not going to

have the nanny around? Yeah, what does he do? You know what I mean? Yeah. Take care of the kids. He can't take care of the kids. No. No, no. No, he can't take care of the children.

No, he can't take care of children. He's weird Batman. Yeah, weird Batman can't take care of the kids. take care of kids. Batman can't take care of kids at all. No, that's why he's a bachelor for foggant life. Yeah, and every time he does try to take care of kids, they end up getting beat to death at the crowbar. I know that we're supposed to love Jennifer Garner because of Ailius and 13 going on 30.

That's not why I love her, though. Why do you love her? It's because she lets her kids wear whatever they want. Oh, she does? Yes, I like it. Oh, good. I like it as a celebrity mom. Teach your children, boundaries.

Yeah, but at least she's talking with the kids. At least she's around the kids. At least she is around. But is she really? I mean, I guess she has a nanny. I guess she has a nanny that was around enough to fuck her husband when she wasn't around. But what is she even fucking doing? She's got tiny eyes.

But it's okay. It's not like Ever Levine face. No. Because she's got a real face. Yeah, she's got a great mouth. Big mouth. Great mouth. Tiny eyes.

I know. They're cute. They are cute. All of these things said, I think she's always been a little plain. She's a plain jane. But that's also I think why I like her. Yeah. Yeah.

That's true. We can like her plain. Jane Ness and I like her a hundred thousand times more than I like Ben Affleck. Yes. Don't get me wrong. I'd rather watch Jennifer Garner and J-Lo get together. Yes. Now that's a couple I'd watch.

Yes. Yes. I guess I was wondering, you know, do we want to be like, you know, you married a boring kind of, you know, mediocre actor? Like, of course he's going to bang the nanny because he's insecure. But I wouldn't blame her for her stupid husband's actions. Yeah. And also it's like she should be fucking. Matt Damon. It's like, let's have the

circle be completed. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you're going to fuck a manny. I'll fuck Matt Damon. I'll fuck Matt Damon. I get the better deal out of that anyway. Who's he fucking on the reg. I think he's got a reg. I think he's got a reg. Girlfriend. Does he now? Like a rego, though. A rego, okay. I'm pretty sure. Rago stands

for regular, right? Yeah. I think she just, you just make that up? Let's coin it. You didn't? You didn't? I think I saw, I remember I read this list a while ago of like big celebrities that are dating. nobody's, which is basically what it was. And I thought he was on the list.

Did you make up the term rego? Oh, rego? Yeah. You mean like rego my ego? Regular girlfriend, my ego girlfriend? Oh, yeah. He does. He's married to a rego.

Yeah, this is what I'm saying. Yeah, a bartender. I like rego so much better than normal as a, like, you know, people be like, oh, he's with a normal. Or a nobody. Nobody is sad. Nobody. I like nobody.

Rego, yeah. Rego. Rego. Rego doesn't seem as negative. as nobody or normal. It's a little close to Daigo, but I'm fine with it. Yeah, you could just be a rego. Like, it's not a judgment.

It's just like, yeah, she's just a regal bartender. She's a rego. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Her name's Luciana Bazan Barroso. I mean, she's hot. Yeah. She sounds hot. I mean, she's a...

She sounds hot. She's an Argentinian. Damn. Oh, damn. Yeah, sexy. Real sexy woman. Speaking of another sexy divorce, which this makes me happy. And I know that it shouldn't.

Jackie looks really. really happy. You look, I mean, you look fucking evil happy. Giata. Giata. Because she's fucking Bobby. Split. No, she's not fucking Bobby Clay.

That was the rumor when he split with his DA from Law & Order girlfriend. No. Yeah. So about three, four months ago, Bobby Flay. We're talking about Bobby Flay. Split with his wife, who is the prosecutor from Law & Order SVU. The blonde one? The blonde one.

Alex Cabot. And he... I can't believe you know her name. name. Not a million years really in a morning. I don't know the other one's name. Okay. I think she's Alex Cabot.

Anyway, I get the two of them mixed up because they look similar in a boring way. But point being, he... What are you talking about... What's your name? No, not Mariska Hagarty. No, the two DAs. Stephanie March. Alex Cabot and what the hell is the other one?

Stephanie March. Stephanie March. The blonde one. That's the one. There's another DA who looks kind of generic too, I don't remember. But there was a really... Rumor then that they were splitting because Bobby was fucking Giata. And then they went on to host Food Network Star together.

Their sexual chemistry is through the roof. Yuck. Of course. I know, because they both suck. And so I'm sure that Giata's husband was onto him, her, and him, Bobby Flee. She had to have been married to a hot guy, though. And Bobby Flee is like the scum on the bottom of my shoe. I agree with you completely.

Ew, he's got yucky face. He's got a yucky face. Can we get a picture of? Giaada's husband. I'll bet he is hot. I'll look him up. Because she's got a giant head of a tiny little body. Todd Thompson. That's his name? Todd Thompson. Talk about it. Rego. He's a fashion designer.

Interesting. See, the thing is that John, I mean, I really like, I just can't watch her show. She makes really good food, though. And her breasts. Are great. Are great, but it's just like, I'm not watching the show. I'm watching the press. Yeah. Here's that dude. Oh, you can do better, Jada. Oh yeah, and better also is not Bobby Flee.

He's got a chin for a thousand years. She's got... They got kids? Yeah, she got a little kid. I mean, she is a bird woman. She's a bird woman, but she's way hotter than both that guy and Bobby Flai. Yes. Way hotter.

It is, I mean, it's just funny. It's just a bird with big tits. You never think you... It makes amazing food. You never think you want to see it. Then when you see it, you're like, I'm glad I saw that. Yeah, she's... She's hot.

But yeah, her and Bobby spent all summer together on Food Network Star. Interesting. Flirting the fuck off of the camera. And, of course. Ew, how do you flirt with Bobby Flay? He's like, ooh, I put a jalapeno on it. Oh, yeah. Honey, you shove it in a hoagie.

Hogi should never be used sexually. Unless he's referring to my vagina and his penis is a sausage. Ah, your hoagie. I'm going to put my sausage in your hoagie. I'm going to put mayonnaise on. your hoagie. Bobby Flay wouldn't use a hoagie. He'd use a tortilla. But he would put a sausage in it. And never call my vagina a tortilla. It's thicker than that. How about hoagie hole? Hoagie hole. See, that makes me think of something that like you would find on a putt,

putt, golf course. The hoagie hole? Yeah, go past the hoagie hole. And then you'll find the 18th hole. It makes me think of something that you would eat at like a Texas State Fair. Yeah. A hoagie on a stick. Oh, it's like a hoagie. Oh, it's like a hoagie. Like on the inside is a cheeseburger. Yeah. Yeah. Like a corn dog, but with a hoagie and a cheeseburger combined. That actually sounds fucking great.

Man, we are just spit balls on it. I mean, it's just a, I don't know what it is. I don't know if we've just got some sort of, you know. No, inventors. Yeah. Spice. Yeah. Spice.

That's what I'm feeling. I'm feeling spice here. It's a real spicy a show. Bobby Blake cooks with a lot of spices, you guys. You're right, man. That's a specie, spicy, a meat bowl. A spicy, spicy, a meat, a bowl. Oh, man.

I didn't even get to talk about my new favorite show yet. What's your new favorite show? Oh, my God, it's so good. Okay. It's called You're the Worst. I've heard about this show. Someone told me, oh, Jackie, like, like, you know, kind of like a rom-com kind of thing.

It's basically what I, have I talked about in here? I watch difficult people, Amy Pollard. new production like she produced this new show called Difficult People's on Hulu It's terrible It's terrible It looks terrible

You're the worst Is everything that that show Wanted to be It is very well written It's about two shitty people That fall in love with each other And it is hilarious It's very grounded in real life

And it is fantastic I just watched a whole first season It's on FX But it's also on Hulu right now and their new seasons coming out soon and I just I fell in love with it because everybody's shitty

Yeah Everybody's shitty And it's just a fun show About shitty people You know what I've fallen in love With a show about a terrible person as well Review What's that?

I love this show It's a guy that It's based on an Australian show The whole premise is that The host reviews life experiences Ooh Where they It's a comedy show

Where people will write in It's like what's it like to steal something? Like what's it? And then it kind of starts off like, what's it like to get addicted to something? And then the host, it starts off as like this kind of review thing, but then it

starts turning into something totally different where there's an actual plot to it because the reviews that this guy's doing ends up destroying his life completely. Because the third episode, the first episodes are really good. It's like stealing, addiction, things like that. And the third episode

is called pancakes, divorce pancakes. And you have to, a first like, what's it like to eat 15 pancakes? And then it's like, what's it like to get divorced? And he's happily married with a kid, and he has to get divorced from his wife without telling his wife, why.

And he just destroys his up. Leo Allen's a writer on it. Ooh. Yeah, and he's all, he actually he plays a character in it too. He plays like his, um, he plays the guy's what is it, uh, addiction specialist, like his sponsor. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is this, what

what is it on? Gami Central. The second season just started. And it's all on Hulu Plus. And the original one is fantastic as well. It's much darker. The Australian one, yeah. Because it's like, what's it like... Well, yeah, everything's darker in Australia.

It's like what you're actually asking about is risk. What's it like to risk something? So the guy becomes a drug mule and tries to smuggle drugs like heroin back from Thailand to Australia. And it gets very dark. Wow. That sounds awesome. It's my new... I love new shows.

Yeah. It's my new favorite. Yeah, review is my new favorite show. All right, hell of you. It's fantastic, yeah. Molly, you got a new one? I've been watching on HBO Show Me a Hero, David Simon's new thing, the guy who did The Wire.

Oh, yeah, how is that? It is excellent. It's serious, but it is excellent. The acting is awesome. And it's so interesting. It's about desegregating Yonkers in 1989. It is so good. I really, really, really, really recommend it.

Three different shows. Yeah, three different shows. And Alfred Molina's in this one. Yeah, he's really. I love Alfred Molina. He's really good. The woman from 40-year-old Virgin is there. If I was a rich man.

Dev. He's really good. I know. I know. I know. I had to think about it. It's fiddler. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

40-year-old virgin? The lady from 40-year-old virgin. The sexy one in her early 40s? Yes. She is, she plays And Bingja Malcovic as well Catherine Keener Yes, thank you

Good job This was me and Gideon's about like the first The Depths We spent the first three episodes Trying to be like Who is this lady And we wouldn't look it up Because we were trying to figure it out

She's excellent The whole it's I really really Recommendial Me Hero It's really good Perfect Yeah Now I know what I'm doing For the rest of my week

Yes I can I can do that as well After I'm done playing Mass Effect Boring not a video game podcast. No, it's not. We know nothing about it. Hey, video games. I don't get it.

Yuck, yuck, yuck. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Unless it's the sins. Love the Sims. You love the Sims. The Sims is a wonderful game. Make them fuck. Take away the door. Set the house on fire. I loved also put him in the pool, making them swing. Take it out the ladder. You can make them fuck explicitly? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You had to get the, I had the special love package. So they had like a vibrating bed that if you made

them get into the vibrating bed, they'd fuck in the bed. What? I only had SimCity and my cities would always just fail immediately. SimCity is very difficult. The Sims is a wonderful game. Until you get to the point where you could have Godzilla come in and destroy the whole city.

Yeah. My cities didn't survive long enough. They would die immediately. I don't know what I was doing wrong. It's all about the pipes. Yeah. It's all about the pipes. always is about the pipe. Yeah, you see that again. Oh, that's what you don't know is those. It's all about the pipes.

It's all about the pipes. You don't got pipes, you don't have a city. I mean, yeah, show me that's all about municipality. Yeah, yeah. All right, so yeah, you're fucking municipal. Yeah, enterprise. Those are all the government words I know. Municipality, enterprise.

Infrastructure. The zone. Infrastructure. You got your zone. You got your commercial zone. You got your pipes. Residential zone. There could be a Sim City inspired by Show Me a Hero, though, where you have to build a desegregate city. It would be a socially conscious video game. Make the Sims fuck.

Oh, the other fun thing to do is to just lock them in a room. Yeah, see what they do. Do they fight? They die. Yeah. They die. Yeah. Also, I would spend all my time making somebody like make them fall in love with each other and then I would immediately turn and make them like hate one of them make the other one hate them.

It was great. It was really like a social experiment. Yeah. It sounds negative for a greater like thinking about like a generation of people playing this game. It sounds like they may grow up with really kind of like, I'm fine. No, it's getting all of it out. You get it out. Yeah, because I wasn't fucking, so I was just like,

oh, I got to make somebody fuck. I mean, I've never since walled in dozens of people in a... Taking the doorway. I've never done that. Man, it would be caught in the Sims. We are in an enclosed space right now, so I'm glad that you don't do that. And the Sims had a bit of a graveyard going on in the backyard. Because if they die in the house, they get buried in the yard.

Oh, yeah. or by the game? The game. It's great. So it's also a lesson in mortality. If I wasn't attached to the speaker system by these headphones, I would slowly back out of the room, right?

It's fine. No, it's fine. The door is fine. The doors are going anywhere, Molly. The door is fine. The locks on the outside. Yeah, don't worry about it. We didn't change the code. No. At least we'd die together. Man, that would be a good, like, like suicide thing, though. Lock somebody

And then you have to do a podcast until you die. That would be pretty fucking cool. Molly? No, not in. Molly? Molly? I'm already looking at that. There's a square missing from the ceiling.

I'm going to see if you can crawl out there. But that's going to be a rough way out. Oh, we have to go through the sewer? There is no way out. No way out. You know, I've never been claustrophobic until maybe now. Yeah, but we can play the Hannah Montana guitar. We have the air conditioning on.

There's a lot of terrifying skulls. Oh, it's fine. Just remember, no way out is the mantra that I tell myself every single day. I stare at these walls and they start coming in a little closer and closer. Technology. Black Mirror. No windows. You know, watch Black Mirror. I haven't watched Black Mirror and I don't want to. So good.

It's too scary. They're making an American version. Oh, cool. Oh, watch it. I'm scared. I'm very scared. And my brother loves it, but he said that the episode where that guy who looks like him is in it is the scariest one. It's very scary. Yeah.

But he's also, that guy's also in another romance movie that I love, it's called About Time. And that guy is fantastic. I don't know what's name. Marcus.

Um-Hull. Um-Hull? Sure. Dom-Hull? I know he's a Brit or maybe an Irishman. Or maybe a Scotsman. Yes, he's red-eddon. Yeah.

Yeah. Stratberry blondey. What is he? Domchol. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

He's from Dublin. Oh. Sexy. Dunhall. Glellan. Irish in Ex Machina. Ex Machina. But in Black Mirror and in About Time, he is.

Oh. Because that's his real voice. He put on a show voice. He put on a character to play the play. Be the pot. He's a weird-looking fella. He is a weird-looking guy. But I don't know why.

It has nothing to do with your brother. I think it's because of the About Time. That's why I fell in off with it. I don't think that he looks that much like my brother. But other people who know my brother think that he looks like. I don't think he looks like a lot like your brother. I'm not into it either. I'm not buying it.

I don't buy it either. It's just because he's fair-haired. Very fair-haired, very fair skin, fair eyebrows. Eh. Yeah, but is your brother from fucking Ireland? Is he black mirror? Only generationally. Yeah, that's true.

That's true. It's covered in fuckles. He's descendants from people in Ireland. I love it. I love it. That's great. We want to talk about them VMAs at all from a week or two ago? We don't have to.

Well, Molly, Molly, what are you doing? No, we don't have to. I liked Nikki Minaj a lot. I loved Kanye's speech, the end. Isn't he going to be president or something? Yeah, he goofed about it. I think he was goofed. Was he being a goof?

I think he was goofing because somebody in the audience was like, Kanye for president. So there's a theory that he was just yes-handing it, you know. His face is so sour. It is sour, but it's, oh, God, I love watching him react to things. When Taylor was on stage, he pretended to go to sleep on Kim Kardashian's shoulder. That's sassy. He's just a little too sassy for me. He's very sassy.

Taylor Swift introduced him and she was very gracious. He was very gracious to her, but then he spoke for 25 minutes out of the two minutes that MTV allotted to him. That was fun. He's a rule breaker. 25 minutes. That's like the opposite. That's like boring. A lot of it was silence.

That was the best part. See, this is why you got to teach your children boundaries. They turn out like Kanye, raised by academics. Give up the world. He was very close with his mother. She probably taught him a lot He wraps about her a lot No, I did, I liked his speech a lot

Taylor Swift was fine Nicky's opening was great Except that Taylor Swift showed up At the middle of it to be like We're not fighting anymore Oh well you want to hear a blind item about that Yeah let's get them We can't see them

Yeah well no this is just a bit of a preview Because we've got some super juicy Blind items today Juicy Juicy juicy Super juicy All right check this out Every award show needs

Talking points for the next day They need moments of surprise or shock or controversy for the press to cover and for the fans to talk about. Some of those moments are like professional wrestling. The moves are planned in advance and everyone plays their part, like the conflict between two women at last night's MTV Video Music Awards. But here's the surprising bit. The producers originally wanted the rapper, who loves to brawl, to continue her feud with a female pop star and call her a bitch on air. That would have actually been a natural extension of a controversy started months ago. However, the pop star's people refused to play and shut that one down fast.

This year, the pop star was not going to be the target of any controversies. That's why the rapper and the pop star wound up doing a collaboration, and the host was set up as the proxy target instead. Yep, that's exactly what happened. All planned. I know exactly what you're talking about, and if you didn't see it, you're like, what? But basically, Nikki and Nicky Minaj and Taylor Swift got into a Twitter fight about Nikki Minaj's very, I think, like, smart and right-on criticism of a kind of structural problem in the music industry that white artists are celebrated more than black artists in terms of critical, in terms of awards, not necessarily in terms of sales. What about Bay? Bay is an exception.

Interesting. But not that I am on Taylor Swift's side. Well, when you look at the like amount of Grammys that black artists ever see. We're just giving you shit. I'm throwing a hail bay up there. Hell Bay. But so anyway, they had their little fight, but then they did their opening number. Nikki was supposed to do the opening number, but then Taylor came out in the middle of it and they did it together.

But Nikki was supposed to call her a bitch in the middle of it? Apparently. Nikki was apparently supposed to call her a bitch at one point in the show. But instead, she did call Miley Cyrus a bitch. and it was pretty great. She was like, it was great because she thinks... What was the context?

Was it like, Miley, you're a bitch? So she, okay, so she won best hip-hop video or best hip-hop song, I don't remember. And then she was like, I want to thank my pastor. And then she was like, all right, and she gave a nice little speech. And then she was like, so now it's back to this bitch who had a lot to say about me in the press.

And then she turned her face to Miley and was like, what's good, Miley? And Miley... I like that you said to that. the widest you could possibly say. Continue. And, Miley. What is good, Miley?

Good. Miley acted like she, maybe it was all scripted. But Miley, I mean, you know, as you said, it's all choreograph. Is that when she showed her tits? She is a quote-unquote actress. Yes, she went to LaGuardia for theater,

which I didn't know until today. LaGuardia Airport. That would make a lot of sense. Real bad theater. I show my day. And a dick goes in me. Not Miley. Nicky, Nikki went to LaGuardia High School for prestigious New York High School for theater.

But anyway, she called Miley a bitch and Miley reacted really awkwardly and was like, oh, we all done interviews in the press. That's what she's in? She was like, we all know how they twist our words. But she did end up calling somebody a bitch, but it wasn't Taylor Swift. Yep. Redirecting it back somewhere else. All these things.

All plan. But Nick. Mickey Minaj and Taylor Swift are not BFFs now. They just are tolerating each other. They are tolerating each other. They seem to be tolerating each other. Is it all a lie? Is it something that they really don't give a fuck about each other?

They both are millionaires. Who fucking cares? I would imagine it's all a lie. Right? I think it's all a lie. I think it's the easiest lie that the media sells us. I think it would be really easy to openly and actually hate Miley Cyrus because I'm not a huge man of her,

but I imagine if you're in that industry that you could. You just look at her and you're like, I've got something to say to you. But like, look at Taylor Swift. She's got a dumb face. She's just a whatever, whatever. Nikki Minaj, very talented, strong woman. But, like, they don't need, they're not in the same arena. I mean, they are when it comes to, like, pop music and what people listen to you.

But you don't choose, like, I can only listen to Taylor Swift or Nikki Minaj. No, no. But I think that, I mean, I guess the beef constructed or real, but even if it's all fake, The beef is like Taylor gets all, like Taylor is like the, like the queen of pop right now. Right. I mean, she ain't no Bay. Everybody knows what I ain't no Bay. Bay is the queen of pop.

But Taylor is like, I guess, the vice president. No, she's like the angel. Yeah. She's the angel. Nikki Minaj is the devil. And Bay is the queen. Yeah. Yeah, I think that's right.

That's a six-year-olds. A fucking explanation of it. It is she. And it has something to do with black and white. I'm just saying it. But Nikki Minaj has personality and she's an interesting artist. And Taylor Swift, I just listen. She's a borough.

Boro. I guess that she has some talent. She writes her songs, whatever. But she's just a borough. I completely, she's a rego and a borough. It's her. It's her boring face. She's just.

The problem is why these young women have so much makeup. No, they don't need it. Yeah, this has never happened before. I'm getting old. I'm sorry. You need some of that HD makeup. Yeah, that is something I need. HD makeup?

You don't need it. You look great. You got no creases. No crease. I'm going to start taping up my cheeks. I think that's going to be my new thing. Jackie, why do you look so tight and upset? Like, oh, I'm taping up my cheeks.

That's what we need you to be is just look more upset. Tighten upset. Tighten upset. Tighten upset. Thanks guys. I knew you would support me. Oh, yeah. No, we'll all have smile lines, I think. That's our problem, as people who like to laugh.

We'll have saggy, crinkly smile lines. That's why we should start working on not moving our faces anymore. Yeah. I don't like to laugh. It's just a reaction that I have. Aw. I would like it if I cried. Ew.

But I can't cry. I am, so I laugh. I would enjoy it if I cried. I can't cry. All right, it's time for the list. Oh, it's on the list. Yeah, got to have that list. You know what?

The list isn't all that great today. We're scrapping the list. The list isn't all that great. It's like history's most high-functioning alcoholics. Me. We had, Jackie. I just won the Greek Award, thank you. you everybody out there

for voting for me. I did vote for you. As the best trunk around. Well, it was the best regular. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Norm. The norm. Yeah, the norm.

From Cheers. Yes, the best, the best alcoholic who cannot stand their spouse. Aw, that's sad. Beer. I don't have Doug calling me.

Is Jackie there? Tell him, I'm gone. I went somewhere else. That's so sad. Yeah, see, that can't, that isn't happen anymore. You don't have spouses calling up bars. That's my favorite part of Cheers. When we were talking about, we were talking about Sixth and City earlier.

Of course. I was talking about the differences of then and now. And I was like, in Cheers, I think the only thing that's really that different in like bar life is that you don't have somebody calling up at a bar to see if you're there. Yeah. But you might text friends and be like, my significant other isn't responding. Are you with them? But it's different. That's cheeky.

Yeah, that's real cheeky. I don't do that. It sounds like you do that. It sounds like you fucking do that. That's a bad thing to do to a person. Yeah, I don't do that. That's a bad thing to do. But that's if you wanted to check up on them, you could.

It's a yucky thing to do. That's so weird. That's so weird. I know you're right. I know you don't do that. I know you don't do that. I know you don't do that. I can't imagine.

If Doug didn't respond, oh, he's fucking not looking at his phone right now. Don't you don't worry? You're not like he's. He's dead. He's got to be dead. Oh! No, that's my mother. That's how my mother reacts when I don't text her back.

Anyway. Anyway, yeah, high-functioning alcoholics, Winston Churchill, Hemingway, W.C. Fields. And we know those things. We've got four blind items to get to. All right. So let's go for these blind items. We can't see them. Yeah.

Let's start with the MTV Video Music Awards. This A-minus list, law and order and law and order sexual victims unit actress could be her telling more than one person than that she didn't know why the fuck she agreed to show up and that everyone looked and acted like they were 12 and playing dress-up. I know who it was. It was Mariska Hagerte because she is in bad blood, which is Taylor Swift's stupid video.

Oh, she knew it. Because it's like about like powerful women kicking ass or something. And would you like to see a picture of Mariska Hargatay? She's so pissed. She looked out of place. Look at how pissed she is. She's just so, I mean, completely understandable. I would feel too old at the VMAs.

Yeah. And Mariska Haggurte is like probably 50. I'm just glad you keep saying her name because I'll never say it right. Mariska Haggurte. Mariska Haggertay. Too hard. Mariska Haggertay. She's the child of...

A rape victim. In the fiction. Hargat. Hargat. Hargat. Not Haggerton. Hargat. Mariska Hargartee.

Mariska Hargette. Mariska Hargette. In real life, she's the child of Jane Mansfield. And Mickey Hargat. And Mickey Hargat. Hargat. I believe that they died in a car crash when she was in the car. Interesting.

Is that why she's so good at being detective? Olivia Benson. Olivia Benson? Maybe. I think she did have a somewhat traumatic child. Rape victim. Also the product of a rape. If you've ever seen one episode of law.

It's always, I love the show. It's just always like, yeah, but do you know I was also raped? It's a bad show. I know, you were raped? I'm sorry. Do you remember when I went undercover in the prison? Do you remember what happened? And it was terrible.

I know. Do you remember what happened when my mother when I was born? I know. And she had you and that's fantastic. And I'm glad you're alive. But Mariska Hargate was in Taylor Swift's bad blood video. Was she the only older person in it? Yeah.

She's also got a brother named Zoltan. Cool. I never do that. Hell yeah. Zoltan Hargatee. Yikes. Zoltan Hargatay. Are they Ruskis?

I don't know if they... Is it a rooski? I think they might be Czech. Well, their dad's the Hargatay. I think the dad might have... But isn't his name like Marvin, what did you say his name was? Meskel? Mickey.

Mcky. I knew it was a name. Yeah. It's probably Mescal. It's probably Mescal. It's probably Mescal. He's got a son named Zorg. And Mariska.

Hungarian. Hungarian. Interesting. That Hungarian makes no sense. Yeah, the language. And his real name is Michlos. Michael Hargete. Cool.

From Budapest. Thank you for saying Budapest in the accent as well. Budapest. He was a bodybuilder, which makes sense that he was married to Jane Mansfield. Mariska Haggertay. Is big. Gigantic lady. Like a linebacker.

Really? Yeah. Look at her. On TV, even, you can see she's like head taller than all the other women. And her shoulders are wide. Strong shoulders. Yeah. I have noticed that. I have noticed that. Yeah, she's a strong lady. I have noticed that. Retweet.

Mark McGrath. I have noticed your shoulders. Retweet. Retweet. Next up. This former A-plus list movie actor who can barely get work. now because of some controversial things he's said is on a daily regimen of HGH and steroids to go with his excessive booze intake. He is a deranged mess right now.

Deranged mess. Wow. Oh, yeah, deranged mess. He said some. Mel Gibson. Yep. Wow, I can't believe it. That was a fuck.

I just, I want to thank you, Marcus, and you, Molly, for believing in me. That was a Hail Mary. A hail bay. It was a hail bay. That was a hail bay, thouso. Thousand percent. And I just wanted to thank you guys for being there for me. To be fair, when we say, what was it, unhinged?

A deranged mess. The first name that comes to mind should be Mel Gibson. Yes. But you did get it, Jackie. Yeah. This is a picture of Mel Gibson as he exists today. He doesn't look that bad. I don't know.

He doesn't look that bad, but he's got a glimmer in his eye. He's got a deranged glimmer. Yeah, he's cray. Oh, poor. It's just like, I recently did watch the first 20 minutes of what women want. And remember when everybody... What happened after that? Did you walk away from the TV?

Gave up real hard. I put out another episode of Zach's in the city. And I just, I remembered a... What happened? Sorry. I just poured the jizzy on my crotch. It just surprised. I'm sorry.

I saw that happen. I was thinking about how I just used to be so in love with him. And what women want came out and it was on TBS all the time. And I just was like, for an older man, like, I'm actually like, I'm really attracted him. I think I might have been 12 or 13 at the time. And it's just, it all went downhill. Even now he's looking pretty good, even with the glimmer of derange. I mean, this is him and his 24-year-old equestrian girlfriend.

24. He's wearing all denim, though. Bitch, you're not looking at the social media. No, he's, you know, he looks fine for an old. guy if he wasn't a like bigoted anti-semit homophobe monster you know he's a homophobe when did we throw that one in there maybe homophob was too generous yeah I think we're thrown I think I think he just threw that one in there for good measure I might I might have I thought that he hates everybody though but but yes maybe I'll have he loves Jews or hate Jews hates hates he's

he's real down on the Jews but he made the Jesus movie yeah well that's what they that's what they that's why that's when down on the Jews first came up because it's like, as far as I've never seen it, but isn't it like just sort of like idle, idle Jews? There's like, we must kill the Jesus. Right. You can like Jews until the year zero when you have to depart from them and worship Jesus. And if you didn't, then you're a devil person. Cool.

Yeah, the devil's synagogue, as they call it in Revelations. Yikes. Somebody's been checking up on their Bible lately. Well, I did get some pamphlets. Where are you getting these pamphlets from? Time Square. Subway. Oh, okay.

All right, okay. You're the Times Square subway station? Yeah, the people that maintain that the world ag, the time of tribunal. Is it about to end? No, that it actually ended on May 11th, 2012. Are we ghosts? Yeah. No, we're just all in hell.

We're all in hell right now. I'll take that. God stopped saving people in 2013. You see. Did I talk about it in here that I read the first two books have left behind? I didn't realize it was a Jesus book. no Kirk Cameron's

I thought that it was just a post apocalyptic book and I was like oh cool I love post apocalyptic books that was like the hunger games yeah and then like in the second book

I was like wait a second this is all about Jesus that is so funny Jackie you got to the second book second book I thought it was cool

because everybody disappeared and their clothes were left behind and like folded up I was like cool that's what does it mean Does Jesus not even come up in the first one?

I don't, I mean, not that I remember. I think this was at a time when I was reading but wasn't really reading, you know? I just remember the second book and everyone was like, why are you buying the second book? I'm like, I liked it. I'm going to get the second book. And then it must have been about halfway through. It was like, oh, yeah, no, no, no, I can't buy this anymore. I can't read this anymore.

So, you know, you learn a lot when you don't read between the lines, which didn't have to read between the lines, just have to read it. Next up, the dad of this A-plus list singer is going to be a dad again. He got one of the singer's backup dancers pregnant. Don't tell my heart, my achy-bricky heart? No.

Good guess. Not Alan Thick, because Robin Thick is not A-plus anymore. No, no, no, no. This is a girl singer's dad that got one of the girl-singer's backup dancers, pregnant. And it's not Miley Cyrus? No.

Not Beyonce's dad. No, no, no, not Beyonce's dad. Taylor Swift's dad? Let's just say that this family has a bit of a thing for backup dancers. J-bo? No. This singer married one of her... Oh, Britney Spears.

Britney Spears. Wait, her father got one of her backup dancers pregnant. Maybe that's why she seemed so pissed at the VMAs. Was she pissed? She seemed pissed. Did she? Yeah. God, she looks so good

She did look great But she just didn't She seemed maybe dead On the inside How old is her fine? I guess she's not that old In my head I think she's because I'm so young

She's the same age as you No I think she's like Our brothers is age No no no she's my age Oh great Yeah Give me a few you of more years Marcus Oh great

She's very Another one? Great Thank God Is she like Jennifer Lawrence Who's like five years younger Than we are great Yeah

She's like Yeah her and Beyonce are pretty much the same age. Yeah. I do love the Beyonce's in her 30s. That makes me feel great about the 30s. I mean... Oh, yeah.

It's only... We're only looking up. It doesn't just happen, you know. It doesn't just happen when you hit 30. Just when you hit 30, things just don't automatically start going great. I got two years and then everything's going to be great. And God, I won't be in hell anymore. And you're going to take me up there.

My clothes are going to be on the seat. You'll all see. Kirk Cameron will guide me. Candice Cameron will be there too. Oh, man. Ugh, yuck. She's there. She is with her brother.

Cameron, Candice, per. All right, last stop. This is a weird one. This is a real weird one. This is a first person one. This blind item comes from an extra on the set of a film. Said, I was cast as an extra in a movie with a friend. The lead actor has been famous for a long time.

So they made us do something I had never done. Sign an agreement saying that we would not discuss. religion on the set at all, and we would not make eye contact with the lead actor. At first, I thought it was weird, but due to his reputation, I decided it wasn't all that surprising. When we got ready to film, the lead actor gets on the set and starts having a full-on breakdown. He's pulling at his shirt saying that it was choking him and he can't breathe. Then he rips off his shirt and runs off the set.

The crew immediately puts all of us extras in the holding. and a full eight hours later, we get an announcement that says the lead actor is sorry for what happened and wanted to treat everyone to Starbucks to make up for. That's it? Tom Cruise. Yeah, it's Tom Cruise.

Damn, yeah, bitch. I got it. Yeah, bitch. He should have at least gotten stakes or something. Starbucks? Starbucks. Starbucks? You're already getting free coffee.

You're an extra you're at least getting free coffee. Billy's getting free coffee. That's ridiculous. Yeah, 450 latte. That's the worst part two is it once you fucking sign that contract, it's like, it's not like any of them you just leave. And be like, oh, this is taking too long, I got to go. Because you fucking sign your soul away to stay on there for a long fucking time. And man, ooh, not even look him in the eye.

Yeah, not look him in the eye, not discuss religion. Well, that's, you know. Yeah, because it's just uncouth to do that anyway. Yeah, you're just not supposed to talk about religion at work. Hey man, amen, you believe a God. But I do like the idea that Tom Cruise is so paranoid that he thinks that just like hundreds of extras are going to be standing around being like, he's a Scientologist. Did you know that? Did you write it in the newspapers? You see that movie?

He's a Scientologist. Get him out of here. Oh, he can't even wear a shirt. Scientologists can't wear shirt. Because they can't ban them from discussing movies. It's basically going clear that he doesn't want them to talk about. Well, yeah. And all of his life. You're right. His entire public persona, yeah. Yeah, he's losing it, man.

He's losing it hard. It's because they won't let him leave because he wants to leave to go be around his daughter and then we'll let him go. Yeah. Yeah. He's losing it. He's living a movie. We saw him jump on the couch during that Oprah interview. Remember when he was in love?

Yeah. It was the love, though. I mean, back then it was love. Now he's just great. And I think that it's like, man, it's just like Jontra. We got to get in there, man. Yeah, right. I think the only way to do it, Henry, I'm sorry, you have to join Scientology.

and I know you listen to this podcast and you're the only one that can save them. Yeah. You're their Obi-Wan. Only one that we know at least. You need to get in. You need to succumb. You need to get in on the inside and save them for all of us. So is this to say that our official page 7 editorial stance is

Supporting Henry? Always supporting Henry. I mean getting into Scientology. Yes. We're going to have to lose him for about 15 years, though. You know, we support Jantra. I work with him very closely. be worth it, though.

To save Jontra and to save Tom Cruise for all of humanity. 15 years, you think? 15 years. I, okay. I, yes, would mourn the loss of a friend. But we would gain. But I would. Your brother has lived more than that.

I work with him very closely on a number of projects. You know, the thing is they'll throw the Smiths in there. The Smiths? Amy, we'll take what we can get. Wait, the Smith. We'll throw the. Smith, like Morrissey? No.

Will Smith and Janet Pinkin. He'll save them too. He'll gonna go in. And then he's gonna have a bunch of movies written about him where he's the hero that went into Scientology and kick the door open and save all to liberty. Your brother, we're at the whole damn bunch

put together. And how does that help us? Because like we'll be in the movie. This scene will be the first scene of the movie. Yeah, like we're gonna be in the movie. Like we're like playing ourselves. Yeah. And then, like, and then we're all going to be famous because, like, CCR saved all these comedians.

And we're all going to get the thanks for it while Henry has lost his fucking mind. Yeah. Because he had to do the whole thing. Because he had to be in Scientology for 15 years. Yeah. Yeah. And then Nicole Kidman, too. Oh, Nicole Kimman, she was, she's out.

I mean, you know. What about Katie Holmes? She's out. She's out. But she's still in danger. There's a lot of them in there. A lot more than you'd probably think. Ooh.

Maybe you get to have sex with Jenna Elfman. I mean. And, ew. Think about that, Henry. You could have sex with Jenna Elfman. Yeah, you could be the Greg to her Dharma. You guys can't have dogs together. That's all, anybody cares about with me with Jenna Elkman.

Henry, if you don't want to do this, you don't have to. You have to do it for all of us. You know what? I think I'm, I'm on, I think I got him. I got him. I got him. I think he's going to. Molly? I mean, I'll support it.

I don't know. All right. All right. All right, we got to get out of here. Now that, man, this is bitballing. We're on flight. I mean, we are all. on fire with spitball.

We got to go. We got to go. Six good ideas today. Yeah. Because we got to go make money now. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And copyright all. All of it.

All of it. All of it. Pat pending. Copyright. I'm Jackie's Brooks. I'm Miley Nuff. I'm Marcus Parks. Thank you, Henry.

Thank you for giving your soul over to an alien religion, Henry. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to cavecomedyradio.com.