Page 7 - Episode 139: Turkey Skin

Episode Date: October 15, 2015

Marcus and Jackie are joined by Henry Zebrowski to speculate about Bobbi Christina's death, Lamar Odom's horny goat weed-induced coma, and to discuss their mutual hatred of child performers. Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Make the magic last for more than just one night. Welcome to page seven, everybody. You got a very special guest in the studio today, Molly Neffle, her fiance's sister went into labor, so she's dog sitting down in Marchton, D.C. Oh, man, she had puppies. We got Jackie's brother Henry Zabrowski in the studio. Hail Satan, everyone. Welcome to page seven. Yeah, and he is sitting very close to me.

She said that this is a problem, but I'm like, guess what? Molly's gone, new rules. He's a brother rule. Molly sits further away from me. It's like the movie Cider House rules, but actually it's just your brother's rules. I want to be Charlize the room. I'm Michael Gain. All right, that's great.

Don't be Toby McGuire because Marcus is Toby McGuire. That's a... Spot on. Toby McGuire impression. You have to have a dumber look on your face. We actually got in the mail, I forgot to tell you about this, Jackie. We got from a listener, we got a cider house rules movie poster along with a Twister movie poster. Synchronicity.

Twister! He's running to go get it. He's running to go get it. My arms are in the air. I'm shaking like I just don't care. Did you know about the Cider House Rules thing? I'm missing some of the joy of this. I feel like I'm out of the equation just because I don't really.

I mean, I'm glad for you. I'm happy for you. Also, we never mentioned the Baclava, which I fucking housed. That's right. We never did mention the Baclava because last podcast and page 7 got Baclava. Lela gave it to that. Oh, my God. It was fantastic.

I ate all of it. Nothing I look better than a Grech dessert. Man, a nice grack. Greckian. Greck food is very. is very, very good. Yes, this comes from Jenna Pussy.

Maybe Poochie. It's Poochie. It's not Jenna Pousie. Although Pousie is a fine name. Oh, it's a strong name. I wonder why Cider House rules. Where the hell did she get it? I have no idea.

From an actual orphanage. We have to put it up to. That is what every orphan looks up to. And they're like, one day, Michael Cain, I come in here and take care of all of us. Boys and kings and girls are. And princesses. Yes, you are the Dukes and Dukes of New England.

Well, my favorite is the Twister poster. Oh, my God. And it's backwards. It's backwards. Because at movie theaters, a lot of times they... No, it's the right side on the other way. Oh, it's just double-sided. It's double-sided.

You guys, you would be a terrible treasure hunter, Marcus. I didn't even notice it. I didn't even notice it was almost... Backwood. Oh, these paintings. I put it in the mirror. I put it in front of the mirror. My face won't go on.

Oh, it's because I'm putting it on tiny holes first instead of the big one hole. Yeah, but it is backwards on one side. It's backwards on one side. It's right sideways on the other. We got to put him up. We got to put him up. We got to put him up. I'm going to take the twister one home.

I know you're going to take the twister one home. I think that's going to be good addition to the house. Doug's going to be so happy. He's going to be extremely happy. Every time I look at him, he's like, you know, I've never seen it. Missed that house. I miss that house.

And come right after you. Man, Helen Hunt was quite a rising star back in the day, and now she's a black hole of nothing. Her face was so beautiful. Oh, and her tits were fucking amazing. Yeah, her tits were real, like, noongy nugs. Yeah, she was wearing a tank top the entire time. Yeah, tank top with no bra. Her nipples were out most of the movie.

No, no, no. She had a bra, but she's got one of those. She's got big nipples. Mm-hmm. Oh, so did the nipples go above? Love the bra because that means the bra didn't fit. No, she had a sports bra on, but the sports bra, even though the material is constricting, you could still poke them through. I love a woman that wears wife beaters well.

I mean, I'm sad Molly's on here because apparently also, you're not allowed to say wife beaters anymore. What do you mean? That's what you wear to beat your wife. Yeah, exactly. So that's a wife beater. Every wife beater comes with yellowed underarm circles, and it's for you to have swinging room. Yeah. You call them A shirts, Jackie.

A shirts? I have A shirt on right now. That's a grammar joke. Well, I got some, here's a bit of a set. This may not be news, but it's definitely an update on one of our favorite stars. John Goodman has apparently gotten kind of skinny. Yep, yep. He lost like a-Henry Zabrowski.

Does he look as bad in the torso? I'm tight. Yeah, you're not necessarily. I mean, you're tight enough. Still got a muffin top going right now. He's still got a muffin top. You got to get bigger pants. Chocolate.

See, John Goodman, he's got the big head, tiny body, just like Jonah Hill had. He's still got big head tiny body. Well, he's a movie store. All movie stars have bigger heads than normal people. Yeah, I know. Your head is touching the side of my head right now. What? It's because I'm sitting next to you like a normal person.

Brothers and sisters are close. Oh, of course. You know many movie stars or have been in contact with. I have met some. Yes. Yes. And they have bigger heads than normal humans. Jack Black has the biggest head I've ever seen on a human being.

Goose bumps. Goose bumps. I wonder if that's his new nickname on the street. I feel like if your nickname is goosebumps, it means you're a molester. No, it means you got like the turkey skin. You ever mean someone's got too much turkey skin? No. You know, like sometimes there's some not weirdos, but some people have turkey skin underneath.

They've got the giblets. You're saying turkey skin real loosely. Like everybody's got turkey skin. Yeah, you know, the little. With a little punch, punch, pinch, punch, pinch, pinch, pinch. And he touch it and it feels like it's like, like, scaly, bumpy. If you said to somebody that they have turkey skin, they would cry themselves to sleep for a year. I would be like, hey, nice turkey skin.

But I've ever met someone that's got weird bumpy skin on the tops? Like too much turkey skin? Well, like they've got, they're cold all the time. Yeah, but it's like wet. Who's got turkey skin? Name a person that will bleep out. Just so I can know that I can know for reference. I don't know.

I just feel like I've felt it before. Pick someone that you are certain has turkey skin. I think I've had relations with someone that had too much turkey skin. You disgust me. Yeah, like turkey skin on his stomach. Who was it? Kevin Grabb? Oh, no, I never got to fuck him.

Ugh. I hate, I hate this game. You did it. I don't like I did it. You did it. It's my fault. I played my least favorite game. Which one of the losers from your past have you had sex with?

It's a fun game. Spin the wheel. Yes, and which ones, quote unquote, missed out. Yeah, they missed out. Yeah, and which ones were the bankrupt part of the Wheel of Fortune? Remember that one? I have like seven bankrupts on my wheel. Whammies.

Just care calling him whammies. Yeah, yeah. Remember that one whammy? He had turkeyskin all over his stomach. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's my least favorite whammy, because he's always cold on the outside and too hot in the middle. Mmm, doughy. I mean, I know all about that because I've been watching,

the Great British Baking Show Oh, still! Oh man, still. Oh, well, oh, that's right. Molly told you to watch it. No, I told Molly to watch it, of course. Molly doesn't watch anything you ask her to watch, though. She watches cupcake, boss. Yes, and she keeps telling me to watch Master Chef Jr., which I refuse to watch because I hate watching children do anything.

Well, these kids believe in themselves too much. It's like they should never sing, they should never bake. Don't let them near a knife because they're just going to murder you in your sleep. This is a thing that Jackie and I have agreed on for years. I cannot stand the sound of a child singing voice. I hate it. Also, our niece is at the age where she's just like, Baby, you're a firework.

I hate it. It makes my skin crawl. Never sing it. And I love that song. I hate the way she sings. No talent. Henry did. Love our knees.

What do you hear when she sings? Like, what does it sound like to you? It's just, I hate baby singing. No, no, example. Give me an example. Baby you're your baby. So you both hear the same thing Yeah

I hope she doesn't start singing I hope she doesn't start singing Show me your peacock cock cock Your peacock Stop stop Stop it How are they getting all these little kids Just to say cock all the time

Literally it's making pedophiles hard Hard It's horrible Man I've got lots of turkey skin It's called Gimme That Peacock? I think it's like Katie Perry's song. Ugh. It's my last thing.

I just, I hate it also when a kids got like a showman's voice when they do like that, you know, like they have to sort of like, you know, I don't even know how I put it. Like they have an R&B voice, but it's in a child. It just makes me feel like the child has been raped out of its innocence. Yeah. Oh, you mean like Michael Jackson? Yes. Have you ever? I've been recently listening to a lot of 70s music and I listened to.

and I listen to some of Michael Jackson's very early solo stuff, and it makes your skin crawl. Well, it's about a 12-year-old fucking a 40-year-old woman. Yeah, he's singing. He's like 10, 11, 12, and he's still got a child's voice. He hasn't hit puberty left, but he's still singing sexy R&B music. Yuck. Don't like it.

Now, that is not what I call music. Yeah, yeah. I also, because the thing is back in the day, the only kids that they've made sing were kids, I mean, first of all, every choir. If you look at a choir, if they're 30 kids, 25 of them are getting molested. And if you look at it back in the day... They're probably getting molested while they're singing.

Absolutely, just so they can make the tones right. And then if you take 30 kids back in the day, you just zip past to the 1800s. Not only were they molested, but once you were done molested, they cut their penises off. And they cut their elbows off, which I don't even know why. What? Yeah.

Just slight, they would like, hold out your arm. And they're going, no, don't cut my elbows off. Oh, sir, please don't cut my elbows off. The children sing matter when they've got spaghetti off. By the way, the Michael Jackson song I was thinking of in 1972, and he was 14 years old, sang a cover of Ain't No Sunshine. Oh, that's a mournful song.

Yeah, it's very gross. A child that age doesn't understand it. Well, at the beginning, he's talking, he's just like, when I think about you, I just think about all the things that we've done together. and I just miss you. You know, I think technically he was talking to his mother because his mother was never there to protect him

from his horrible beating father. Horrible beatings. I saw the VH1 behind the music. Yeah. The Michael Jackson one or the Jackson 5 one? The Jackson. No, it was the movie. It was the...

Jackson's. The Jacksons. Yeah, on VH1. Yeah, that was a horrifying film. But I tell you, if some of these kids just got a beat in a little harder, we'd have a lot more talented adults. Right. It was that one where the father found him

in the dress and the lipstick and he's like, oh boy. Jackie, that's borderline voice. No, that's an angry father voice. An angry race neutral. Race neutral voice. Yes, let's make sure to keep it race neutral. It was race neutral. Just because Molly's here doesn't mean I can go off the wall for years.

It's kind of fun that she's not here because then it gets to be Zabrowski area. And I've heard Zabrowski time can be we happen to. sort of express some views that are different. I don't know. Zabrowski time makes me think of the two of us like shoves into a tub. He's our tubby time. Sobrowski tubby time. We played a game called seal dancing where we just rub bellies. And we go, or, or, or, or, or, and then we talk about celebrity gossip.

One belly's airy, the other belly smooth. Which one's which? Well, the other big celebrity news that's happening this week. Lamar! Lamar! Odom apparently all hopped up on horny goat weed. Horny. Overdosed in a brothel in Las Vegas. How much horny goat weed do you have to consume to have an overdose?

It can't just be horny goat weed. It has to be a few things. It was enough to give him multiple strokes. Like, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop. Man, so he couldn't get it going? He couldn't get it up? I don't know, man. He was in a brothful.

I mean, he wasn't even like, he's a basketball star. Why is he not in a higher end place? You could go to a brothel. Sometimes you just want whatever's tugging. Then you buy it on the street. No, but you don't trust these people. It's like halfway in between. You know, it's like I don't want to drink Evan Williams, but I also don't want to drink, like say, Maker's Mark.

I'm having a Jack Daniels night. Ooh, interesting. Okay, cool. Yeah, that's what Lamar Otam was going for. And, in fact, he was found with not just horny. Goatweed, cocaine, opiates, and track marks on his arm. There's a mix. I mean, that's the thing.

That's what it was. There's a mix. I would also say, very interesting that you'd even use horny goat weed to get going. We have a friend that should go, nameless, Ed Larson, took a bunch of bodega erect pills to make your dick get hard. I mean, that was for funds, right? Yeah, because sometimes you want to get next to blackout drunk, but still manage to heave on top of your girlfriend. Right. She loves it too.

She did. Do you love somebody? You love your boyfriend. It makes me think of Far as Scott. Oh, he can't go that fast. Even that's top speed. But that's giving a good wind-up where he wiggles his butt a little bit.

That's no, he runs from across the room. Oh. Oh. I like it. But he said it made him feel very ill as well His heart started palpitating and stuff like that And it was very bad for it's very bad for you Actually that sounds like fun

It sounds like I want to hit the club and take one Now because it would just make me speedy as a girl right? Yeah but you could just have a red bull for that Yeah red bull That's fine That's fine Well as far as what went wrong Yes why

Why was Lamar Odom in a brothel Doing cocaine shooting heroin taking horny goatweed. Well, apparently the latest episode of keeping up with the Kardashians. His ex-wife, Chloe, was shown getting two phone calls from Odom and Kim Kardashian chastised her for flirting with Odom. Chloe was also shown expressing concern that Odom might lose control after a friend of his died and leaving a club when she heard that Odom was on his way in.

Unbreakable. That's his scent. That's his scent. That's their scent. Their scent I wore for a year. I think that all of these people should die in many car crashes. At the same time, though, did you notice that Chloe and the whole family with the camera crew went to the hospital? So you're saying all of this.

How terrible is that. So this was all like a Jack Roper's uncle like storyline on Three's Company, like season six, three's company. They got to save the store, you know. You got to get in there. It's just, you know. in the end, I get it. You know, you're having problems with the ED, right? Cinema movie magic.

You know, you want to, you want to perform more. You need to impress these horse. Because if not, what are you going to do? They're going to leave you a bad review on the John Doe, like, Yelp website where you get one star. You can only squirt it once. But then it turns out the flip of that is that he was doing the Yelp for whorehouses that he'd like to call Gulp. Yeah, but also it's like, give him a basketball. Tell me.

You know, give him a basketball. That's how you wow. That's his job. He's trying to relax. Give him a basketball. You can't just toss him a basketball and expect to hear like, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, okay, well, now somebody's being racist.

That's not racist. That's a basketball song. Yeah, the basketball team from Harlem. Harlem. Interesting. Yeah. But I did go, like, you know, there's many ways I could make that racist that I won't do. The war Trump.

Well, do you know, Chloe Kardashian, you know Chloe's odd connection, right? Chloe is O.J. Simpson's daughter. Hell yeah. Although they say that she's not, she looks exactly like O.J. Simpson. And she's the only, let us say, darker member of the Kardashian-Carnian. Can't say that. Can't say that. Can't say it.

You can't say a M-A-Lat? Haffy. Ah, it's a happy. Yeah, she's like an Arnold Palmer. She has an Arnold Palmer, but with her. races. I mean, and everyone loves an Arnold bomber.

I love it. It's so refreshing in the summertime, but in the wintertime, it's a bit much. That's why she could cover it up with a scarf and some hats. As of right now, Lamar Odom is still unconscious and unresponsive. I bet you $10, she's faking it.

I think he's faking it. I think this is about the TV show. He'd go like every once in a while his eye pops open. He's just like, Oh, the ratings. Yeah, but also, I mean, have you heard any findings on our other favorite? Bobby! Bobby!

Oh, man, Nick can't, or Nick? I never say Nick Cannon. I'm sorry, I always say Nick Cannon. But the ex-boyfriend slash... This is the brother-boyfriend. Brother-boyfriend says that he's getting thrown under the bus. He's saying he had nothing to do with the whole thing. And he says the family's just trying to slander his name.

What about the injections? The injections? Well, let's see what the injections have. to say about that. What are the injections? Well, he's getting, I think he's getting thrown into court. What did he do? What did he inject into what?

Injections. Now, I don't think he had something to do with it, but he definitely didn't not have something to do with it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's being accused of giving her a, quote unquote, toxic cocktail the day she was found. Toxic. How is he able, how in any way, shape, or form is a man who technically, he has a, no job, right? He doesn't do

anything for a living. He just kind of siphons off the... But what do you say of the fact that she was passed out in the tub and he had another girl come in so who's to say that why would he not give her a toxic cocktail and be like, okay, she's out. I'm going

to bring in another girl in's here. Because nothing ruins the threesome like killing one leg of the tripod. Yeah, but it wasn't a tripod. It was a dupe pod and she was asleep. She was trying to put a dupe on her. It was a dupe. Yeah, here's what happened is what the court documents say. The court documents say that there was a violent altercation.

He placed her in the bathtub while she was unconscious. But that's to calm her down. And injected her with the, quote-unquote, toxic mixture. What was the mixture? The court documents do not specify what the toxic mixture was. Maybe he was just like, she likes orange juice. I want to wake her up, so I'm going to hit her with all these orange juice straight in her veins. So she wakes up thinking it's morning.

Is that racially new? No. Let me see the, he is black, so yes. Racially neutral. Of course he's black. It's a brother-sept-sister. No, this is, okay, can I just ask questions like this? Because I'm not new to all.

I listen to page 7 all time. I understand the dichots, the codomies. That's short for dichotomies. My question is, is what does he do as a job? Who is he as a person? And does he have any worth as a human being? No, not at all. He is her boyfriend.

He lives off of her. So they all just kind of live off of each other. he had another girlfriend. Yes. She came in to immediately replace the dead girl. I don't know if it was a girlfriend. I think it was just fucky fuck. Yeah.

And I think he was like, he's like, oh, punch, punch, punch. Oh, she's out. I'm just going to throw in the bathtub. Squirt, squirt, squirt in the veins and then bring in the girlfriend. But they had broken up beforehand, him and Bobby. It was a very tumultuous relationship. Yeah, a lot of on and off type of thing. And he's not being charged with anything, by the way.

Oh, I thought he was being charged. This is a wrongful death lawsuit. They're suing the deadbeat for $40 million. Why do people put so much crazy, non-essential drama into their life like this? Why do people do this? It's like people who go on Facebook. Because they're billionaires. It just got none.

But how were they even millionaires? How were they even millionaires? Whitney. But how does she get the money? Bobby Christina, when she died, she was worth $20 million. Everything was left to her. When Whitney died, it was all left to her. How did Whitney still have the money?

Oh, crack's not expensive. Oh. Man. That's why you don't get into heroin. You get into crack. Ah, thank you. That's true. Or hony goatweed.

Honey goatweed. You know, I would get into, I would get into saving the poor. I don't think so. That's what I get a ticket to charity. No, I would get into like lip smackers. Like, man, she just keeps eating. I'm like, well, it says Dr. Pepper. Man, the Dr. Pepper one.

I used to kind of eat. I would put way too much of my lips and then kind of scrape it off of my teeth. Man. I mean it like that. You went through a real mad phase when you were younger. Dr. Pepper Lipsmackers. Everybody likes it and Molly were here she would understand. Oh, Dr. Pepper Lipsmackers.

I love Dr. Pepper Lipsmackers. How did you like it? Because you put it on your lips and it tastes like Dr. Pepper. You see, I didn't do any of that. I was playing Magic the Gathering with my cool friends. You're not cool enough to be on this podcast. Shut up. Yes, I am.

Yes, I am. I had my hair slick back and I wore a ghost mustard shirt. Oh, you're wet to the touch. You're covered in turkeys skin. No, I'm not. No, I'm not. No, I'm not. Oh, he's covering her touch him.

He's making her touch him. His arms are so hairy. Yeah, I got thick man arms for gripping a woman around the waist. That's why you're going to get Dr. Pepper Lipsmackers. Is that? Well, that could help me with a date even though I'm a 31-year-old man? Yeah. And then she goes, boy, boy.

Oh, you smell like lipswagers. Is that racially neutral? Neutral. Ooh, Esquire has declared its sexiest woman. Oh, man, and she deserves it. Who is it? Oh, Amelia Clark, Denary's Tragarian on Game of Thrones. Couldn't pick her out of a lineup.

Oh, man, she is he ought to trust. You know one with the tits? You've seen her tits. I've never seen Game of Thrones. Okay, well, her tits are in the first episode. Oh, nice. Oh, man, that sex scene. Oh yeah, because Caldrago forces it into her.

More of a rape scene than a sex scene. I know, I love it. Caldraggo is the hottest, man. Ooch. I had, like, the way he looked in my brain reading that, I'm going to right home for days. Dr. Pepperlip Smaggers. I'm pulling the parachute out of this podcast.

It's too inappropriate for me, for my ears. If I had to pick the world's sexiest woman, I would pick the same woman every year. Jessica Chastain. Our mother, first of all, that's disgusting. Jessica Chastain's my woman and will always be, and I own her, spiritually. Okay, I get you there.

She'll put her in a spirit prison. I'm going to go for every year, Julianne Moore and Boogie Nights, just specifically in that movie. I understand. Can you freeze a woman in time like that? You can in your mind. Although she still looks great, man. Her and the kids are all right, and she's got another lesbian movie

coming out, and I can't wait to see it. Wow. I just love watching it. her kiss women. Never any scissorin in these movies. Cisering is not a productive way of sex. That's a lie. They're lying.

It's a double lie. That's a hegelian dialectic. She would know. You were half a lesbian. You weren't a real one. But also even if you watch it in the pornographicis, you know, you see, they're just kind of slapping.

Yeah, but the slapping does something. It does enough. It does something. it's fine, but I just, how, it's like, it's just got to be uncomfortable. It's like a thing, oh yeah, well, yeah, you got to put your butt up in the air. You got to get in it and he's just like, ah. A lot of hip motions. Yeah. You know, I'll try it once.

I'd love to try it. Yeah. You got to cut your dick off. And put a hole in it. And put a hole in it. You're just like one of those choir boys. Sometimes I just wish I was a lady lesbian with a penis so I can't get things pregnant. You can be that.

What do you mean? Just cut a hole down there. No, no, no, no. I want the penis. I want everything else about the man. I want the power. I want the money. I want the strength.

I want the wisdom. I want the tactical knowledge. I want the iron in the nose so I could tell direction. But I want it to no spermies. No spermies. No spermies, yeah. Well, you can do that. It's called a vasectomy.

Yeah, I got to do that. I'm going to go down the doctor and say, hey, hey, hey, hey, let's fucking knife my pipes. No, I think what you have to do is you just have to take a little hammer and just slap the head. Just slap, slap, slap, and then you get no more spermies. That sounds like a really bad dare. Oh, I got some movie news. Movie news. Movie was just announced.

It's a weird one. A new Leonardo DiCaprio movie. Is it the H.H. Holmes one you may ask? No, it is not. Is it the Indian one? No, it is not. Was he playing like an Indian Indian one from Indian? No, no, he's going.

Oh, man, you got to see this trailer. What's it called? It's called like the Revenant. Yes, the Revenant, where he's. walk it through and apparently it was very cold. It looks very cold. It's a revenge movie. No, he is making a Volkswagen

movie about the current Volkswagen scandal. So he's making a two hour long commercial for Volkswold. Wait, you're talking about like no one likes the yellow beetle anymore? You're talking about vans used to be cool but now they're for rapists? That is true. They were always for rapists.

No, no, no, but rapists were different back in the day that was slang for, it was more like you were a musician, yeah. Oh, yeah, oh yeah, man. You read those biographies of rock stars from the 70s and 60s. It's just 14-year-olds all over the place. But they all wanted it. Blackmail red in that little boy's pal.

I love that song. And that's a song about having sex with a troll, real boy. Wait real it, please. Mmm, I love it. I love that song, too. No, what the movie he's going to do is that you've heard about the Volkswagen emission scandal lately, right? So he's going to make a movie about the fucking.

jamming car computers? That can't be any more boring. I hated Moneyball, and that sounds more fucking boring than Moneyball. Wait, why are you comparing it to Moneyball? Because Moneyball is also a movie about like, like Volkswagen. Could be a movie about either. Number one, the Nazis creating the Volkswagen.

See, that's a Volkswagen movie. I could get behind it. That'd be a cool Volkswagen film. Moneyball is a sports movie without anything remotely interesting about sports and just fucking math in it. Well, and also dead-eyed fatty and fucking dead-eyed dumboes. You got Dumboes and Fatties, and both of them All the dude is math all day long, and that's not a movie.

That's fucking science class. It should have been called Mathball. Yeah, math ball. And I left school fucking 90 years ago. Yeah, Moneyball. Like, if you didn't know anything about the movie Moneyball and you heard the name Moneyball, what would you think it would be about? I think it would be about a lottery. Yeah.

Or I thought it would be about, like, the game where rich men sat in a coliseum and played a sort of bowling ball game with a big 30-pound ball of money. Yeah, see, that's fun. That's a movie. That's a movie. Yeah. was rocks, though. Yes. That's the thing.

That's what they don't explain to you're in the middle of the movie. You're like, oh, the rocks are the money. Movies. Money ball. Are about rocks that are used as balls in sports from back in the day. That or I would love to see Moneyball just be, it could happen to you. Same premise, same cast, except that Nick Cage is a baseball player. Yes, I'd see that movie as well.

But he would already have the money, so I guess he wouldn't, you know, like, oh, I can't tip. That's called buy intercourse. girlfriend. That's what movie could just be called I buy my girlfriends. Yeah, but then you know, it's like, but then he wouldn't buy Rosie Perez. No, no, no, oh, that voice. Except she's got some nana's on. White men can jump.

Especially to crawl up inside Rosie Perez's sweet, sweet, Bagaena. Volkswagen. All right. It's time for the list. Who's got the list? Borgas. Gotta have that list.

No list today. You are. Fuck you. However, when we can't find a list... Why am I on this show? Is it about Indigenous People's Day? No, it is not about Indigenous People's Day. Because that would make it very difficult for us to be racially neutral.

Ooh, because I've got a challenge for you guys today. Is it a physical challenge? I'll do it. Where do we got to go? Are we playing money ball? No, no, no. See, of course, when we don't have a list, what we do is we go to little-known celebrity deaths for the month.

Is it about a horse? It's not, I could find no horse. In fact, I think someone complained to the Wikipedia page because they don't put race horses on the Wikipedia death page anymore. What? Either that or they just aren't as many. I mean, horses die every day. They don't have the longest lifespan.

But the song, but there was a whole song about the horse. Yeah. There's literally bottles and bottles and bottles and bottles of glue for sale. They still don't make glue out of horse peeps, do they? do as soon as they as soon as a horse even coughs it becomes Elmer's property

they just cut off its feet yeah like you do and then use their rest for dog food see that's great to me right yeah because Italians eat horse steaks

yeah and the French too we ate horse when oh yes right in Toronto you guys ate horse you fucking animals I'll eat a horse are you fucking kidding me

you don't eat horses he made me do it he made me do it you don't eat horses horses is the one thing you don't eat I'll take a knife and slit a horse's throat and drink its blood. He's done it. I've watched him. He hates horses.

Fuckers are not American. I swear to fucking God. I'll get rid of fucking I'll kill every one of these fucking sea biscuits. Come on, Seabiscuit. I see Sea Biscuits and we know what I think about when I hear Seabiscuit is a horse just made out of fish biscuits. Wait, was it, was he, was both the jockey and the horse retarded? No, no, Sea Biscuit is the one who the horse was trained to hate Jews. Oh, yeah.

And used by the Nazi Volksmoggin. Now that's the good. That's the Volkswagen movie I'm looking for. We're just remaking. The first Volkswagen was a horse that was trained to stomp on Jews. Jump on Jews with their glue feet. Yeah. And then they use their glue to make the skin shades.

And that's how Yamakas stick on when you're outside in a storm in the middle of Israel. Glue. Racially neutral. Neutral and I'm going to very much test your racial neutrality right now for we're starting with a 102 year old Chinese politician named D-Mang-Mang-Dank. Dink tank tongue Rink-Lonk. Bang bang bang-g kong kong. Tong tong. Tong wrong dong. Molly, I really hope she doesn't listen to this.

His name Duh Reng Okay He was hailed as China's father of rural reform You know what's sad is that He couldn't say that If you wanted to Let me sorry

No no no No not You're having to stay Racially neutral I'm sorry Neutral Racially neutral Neutral

Neutrao Neutrao Neutri Be like E Oh, so you're curious. No, not racially neutral. Okay, neutral.

He was born, see, his actual name is not do-rumching. His real name is Do-D. That was his given birth name. Yeah, like his brother. Boopy. I just want to keep going. Racial neutral. That's what you have to be.

Let's move on to the next one, shall we? I actually am not physically able to say anything. I don't know what to do to keep the podcast still alive after. We can move on to an American rapper, a part of the 3-6 mafia, a man known as Coops to Kinnika. Yeah, yeah, I loved him. He's in Greece, right? Kinnika? Kinnika?

It's Kinnikki. It's Kinniky. That's from, oh, I thought you're talking about the country Greece. No, you're talking about... You mean Krook. Yeah, correct. I don't mean to insult a very traditional crack name. My girlfriend was in a 3-6 mafia video, and actually, we were.

saw this information about his passing and she was sad because his fandom of her, and I'm going to use the term fandom with big fandom. Jerk off. Of her. He enjoyed her a lot. And he featured her in the video because of his appreciation for her talent. She was just like, I danced for hours, and I'm a trained dancer, and we showed up to dance, then all they wanted me to do was like, just suck on my fingers.

So they're good people. So she had, so, so her fingers were pruny by the end of the day. They were all wrinkly. She was like, I just came there to dance. three six mafia. You'd love to improv. You know, if they are nothing, they are entertainers. I'm right. It's time for blind item. Yeah, I can't see them. My hearing is so much. Stronger. This mostly movie actress is aging right now. We all are.

Come on, man. I love it. She was briefly A-list back in the day and has lived off the one iconic role since then. Now she's involved with a permanent A-list musician and is living off of his money. Apparently, that money is buying a lot of bad plastic surgery, which she is combining with drugs. booze. She better get it together or her meal ticket is going to walk back to his wife.

Whoa. So they're cheating. Oh, he's cheating. He's a cheater. Yeah, he's a cheater. You mean like, walk this way? Is that what you're trying to say? Was that the hint? No, no, no, no. No, he's an older man. He was in a four-person band that had four names. No, four names. John Paul, Patrick and James.

Blank, blank, blank, and blank. Still put out music to this day. Medeschi, Martin, and Wood? No, four of them. Peter Paul, Mary, and John. You're getting closer on that one. You're in the right era on that one.

Peter Paul, Marion, Cresby Stills Nash, and Young. Yo. So it's Neil Young. Wait, who's he fucking. Daryl Hannah. Yes. No shit. How did you know that?

Because I knew that they were, I saw a picture of the two of them on the site, and she's got terrible duck face. Oh, doc, doc, man, I'm like a splash. No, thank you. Yeah, more like a rocks to it. Yeah. Oh, she is sweaty. She doesn't look good. That makes me sad.

She was so beautiful back of the day. Damn, just put on splash again. Man, the best part about splash. That's probably what he's doing the whole time is being like, I'm fucking a mermaid. Yeah, he has to. She probably has to pretend, too. But it's like, think of that.

You know, she didn't talk for most of the movie. Yeah, she just flipped. Name one of a movie. She was in. Blade Runner. Yeah. Yeah, she was in Blade Runner. She was also in Steel Magnolius.

Yeah. All right. And she's also in the Witches of Eastwick. Good job, guys. Ooh, witches of Eastwick. And Terrell Hannah is... I was testing you. He did it.

But I knew Steel Magnolius. But I was too busy. I kept thinking about milk money. But in my head, I was like, no, that's Melody Griffith. And he was like, it's not milk money. But all I could think it was milk money. Kill Bill. He's still going.

Yeah. Splash. Splash. Splash. Splash. Spall Hannah fan over there. I'm actually, I am a fan I mean she is the worst part of Steel Bagnolius

but I still love her Oh, I like her part in that movie I love her but it's a hard No you know what I take that back Julie Roberts is the worst No yeah no I take that back And only because of the face The reason why she's bad in that film is the

Don't talk about me like I'm not here Because she has the duck face in that Yes that is a bad part of that And also how bad the makeup was To make those track marks on her arm Yes, but that was back in the day. They're not getting Rick Baker. They're not getting a horror film fucking crew out there.

Yes. What? Axel Rose. What are you saying? You're saying names. Brin back. Yes, well, a Philadelphia plastic surgeon named Dr. Lyle Back. He said, Daryl has always had more than her share.

Too much filler in the cheeks and face? Just too much filler pumped into the lips and painfully overdone eyelid lips. her forehead, brow and eyebrows, have really collapsed, creating a very masculine look. What I would have done is I would have carved the whole face off completely like a tablecloth, and what you've got to do is hanging out on a line. Let it dry.

And you just kind of staple it back on there. Well, that's the thing is that her face looks wider, which, I mean, you don't want it to be wider. That's the cheeks. That's the filler in the cheeks. Yeah, they're adding bones. Yeah, they're adding bones, and they're inflating. the skin. See, the skin gets loose, so they have to

inflate it out. They have to puff it out, so that's why our face looks wider. Never get plastic surgery. Never, ever. No, I can't wait to start. Well, I'm going to get tits. My tits done. I'm going to get my knees done. I want my knees to be bigger. So, Henry, are you going to get the breast augmentation? Oh, breast reduction. You've got tits. Go fuck yourself. Thinny fatty, finny fanny. I am not that much of a thin fat. I'm strong. Now, feel him.

I don't, I'm not going to feel your tits. Yeah, he's strong. No, Marcus, help me. Yeah, yeah, he's real strong. Marcus, help me. Ah! I'm touching my brother's kids. You feel how hard they are.

I don't feel how hard they are. Yeah, yeah, he's real strong. Jackie did Henry tell you about what happened yesterday? We tried to arm wrestle and he beat me very fast, but he's also been drumming for 90 years. Good two, three seconds, I think he lasted. Oh, yeah, and he's been talking shit for months now. Yeah, I'm going to come back. I'm going to be you in an arm wrestling competition.

I actually didn't talk shit. I was just, I specifically said I was curious. No, I said I was curious about strength. Hey, he drums and also, he's a spindly. Look at him. He looks like he's a broom. But I tell you, you know where I'm real strong? From the belly button down to the knees.

So you're fast? No, no. No, just his thighs are fast. No, you just put a walnut in between his knees. He goes, crack. I can hump a refrigerator over on its side. It's just the low center of gravity, though. It's not your dick work.

No, no, no, no. The dick is, you can't really... It's flaccid. No, no, no, no. When it's hard, it becomes brittle. Yeah. They can't really be used for forceful action. Yeah, it becomes more of like a peanut brittle.

One more. This A-minus list actor, who happens to be worth hundreds of millions, isn't planning on leaving his fortune to any of his children. Charity? No. Friends? No. Family?

No. Religion? Yes. Tom Cruz. Yes. What a terrible moron. But this, I think, is interesting because what box was he put in? Because recently he kept saying that he was going to leave because he wasn't allowed to see Surrey.

And now you're not going to leave any of your money to your only biological, quote unquote, child. He's the deep in negotiations. I actually have a connection to him right now that I'm hearing a lot of information. And I actually probably shouldn't talk about it. But it's actually very interesting. I'll talk about it off the air. No. Yes, I cannot talk about it on the show.

But the listeners. Yes, but you're just going to have to know I have a secret, and hopefully that piques your interest in me having a secret. Yeah, but maybe I won't say it on the podcast later. I don't know. But then it won't come from me. Then it'll come conjecture from your jizzy-laden mind. Conjecture.

All right, we got to wrap it up today. Rippity wrap it up. Rippity wrap it up. I don't have any condoms. Thank God. Got rid of them a long time ago. I've got to go. Thank you guys so much.

Thank you very much. Goodbye, everybody. Thank you for having me. Thank you for coming. You go fun. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to cavecomedyadio.com.