Page 7 - Episode 145: The Mud Lake

Episode Date: December 8, 2015

Jackie, Molly and Marcus talk music-related gossip, including The Wiz live show, recent musical celebrity death, the upcoming superbowl halftime show, and Miley Cyrus' antics. Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Because I got to get fancy, bitches. Ooh, well, bitch, you already fancy. Yeah, I don't know. I got no noise in my hands. I got no noise. All right, let me pull you up. Yeah, I am. There we are.

Now I've got my cans. Yep. All cans on deck. Can-can dance. We can-can-can-can. And we can-can-can-can-can-can-can-can-can-can. It's Mulan Rouge. I thought you loved Mulan Rouge.

I like musicals. But I actually have not Moly and Reason on the long list of things I haven't seen. Speaking of musicals I did earlier, cry while watching the 50th anniversary of the Peanuts. Welcome to page 7, everybody. I'm Marcus Parks. I'm Jackie Zeroski.

I'm Molly Nethel, and I've got a question for you. Did you watch The Wiz live? No. It was so good. Eat on down. Eat on down. It was excellent. It was excellent.

Is it all a joke that everyone's? upset that there's no white people in it because there's no white people in that. It's the whiz. No, people I think meant that. No, okay, what those things are is that there are two guys that are upset about it and then some people get upset at those two guys and then they make it a big deal where they make it seem like there are millions of people upset and then people get upset at the people who are upset at the people who are upset.

Oh, it's just a click thing. I was just making sure because it was like, it's the whiz. Yeah. I mean, as no one ever see it. I mean, the original whiz is fucking fantastic. Yeah, I still haven't seen the original WIS. No. I know.

You gotta see it. I know. It's so good. It's so good. And I know that Peter Pan Live and Sondon Music Live were big shit storms. Yes. And The Wiz Live was like flawless. Yeah, because the songs are fantastic and still good to this day.

Because the WIS is amazing. Yeah, the WIS is amazing. The movie's a bit long. It could be a little shorter. Is that Michael Jackson in it? It's Diana Ross in it, right? Diana Ross plays the Dorothy character. Michael Jackson plays the scarecrow.

Done. Oh, yeah. That alone. I mean, it's like there's, of course you got to watch. And the music in it, I don't, I mean, I didn't grow up with the Wizard of Us. I didn't really, I don't think I've ever actually seen it. But I have seen the whiz many times. I've seen the live, like, I've seen like the musical The Whiz a bunch.

And it's so much better. You know why? Because black people are singing it. And you know what? They sing better than we do. Yes. The Wiz is. And I was like a Wizard of Oz kid for a while.

I was in the Wizard of Oz. I've seen the movies. I've seen, like, the Wiz is much better than the Wizard of Oz. And I say that as a fan of the Wizard of Oz. The Wiz live, Mary J. Blige was the Wicked Witch of the West. And fucking Queen Latifah was the Wiz. It was stellar. You know, Richard Pryor plays The Wiz in the original.

Oh, yeah? Yeah. That's awesome. Yeah. Oh, yeah. You got to watch the original. Believe me, I'm a complete convert now. I'm watching The Wiz Live, like, how have I gone my whole fucking life as a musical theater nerd? and not seeing the goddamn whiz.

But also you never saw the show either because I feel like all the competitions I used to go to in high school, I was always so sad that I went to such a white high school because there was no way we could ever possibly do the whiz. And every time I saw it, oh my God, it was just my whole body, got the boogie. This is how I won my whole life without seeing it.

I was in Iowa, even any competitions I went to. There was no black people. There wasn't an all black high school, at least. And so I never saw it. And I wasn't, you know, I was never told, Hey, this incredibly important cultural artifact, the all-black Wizard of Oz, you should watch it. And now I, thank God, I did it before I turned 30. Well, the Wiz has a very interesting pass to it, actually, is that some people say that the Wiz sunk black cinema because it was such a huge flop.

And then after the Wiz didn't make any money, studios didn't take chances on movies with all-black cast after that. Really? Yeah. Just so ridiculous? So is it just like a cult movie then? Yes. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, the Wiz is a cult movie that has regained, or that has actually gained respect in later years. It's still a bit bloated as far as movies go and as far as musicals go, but the songs themselves are fucking top-notch. The set design is amazing. The Costumes. The Wiz is kind of terrifying. Yes. The costumes are trippy. Yeah, yeah.

The Wiz itself, like the actual movie The Wiz, like it's actually, well, the Wizard of Oz is scary. Yes. Like, that's why the Wizard of Oz is scary. is so fucking cool. Why I love the Wizard of Oz so much because it's a terrifying film. It's supposed to be scary and unsettling and all that.

That's why I return to Oz with weird face, Faroza Balk. Why that was pretty creepy as well. Wizard of Oz is very, very creepy. Love Wizard of Oz. Maybe I should give it a watch. Yeah, Wizard of Oz is good. It's very good.

I think the Wiz musically is much better. That's why I've always wanted, which I've said on here many times. That's why I want to make the Miz. I want to make an all-black version of... It's such a good idea. did but with lay miss and i think that it would just make it man honestly jackie fucking said it in present day at this point i think you should

i think you should stop repeating that idea to people because it's such a good idea but i know nothing about it how do i sell it yeah she just wants to have it made she doesn't care she doesn't care about it actually it's a billion dollar idea it's so good it's such a smart idea every time i think about that idea i'm like jacky is sitting on a fucking gold mine i just don't know how to get it done. How do I get it? How? We got to go to a producer or something. Get me a producer. I'm going to Times Square. I'll quit my job and collaborate with you on that. Two white musical theater and you're doing the Mizz, you know, that's what if they'll take us. I think it's great.

I think it's such an excellent idea. The Mizz. It's perfect. And that plot lends itself completely to an adaptation, right? It's about like being wrongfully imprisoned. It's about what is justice. It's about a overzealous cop putting people in jail. It is such a good idea. I think I just keep saying it in hopes that someone's going to email me being like, I have all of the resources to get this done. It's quite possible. Maybe there's some theater company out there that really wants to get it done.

Maybe some of them high school kids out there that listen to us. Maybe they can get it done. Yeah, that's fine. I mean, I just need the heart of a dreamer. Grassroots. Let's get it done. Yeah. Let's get it done. Such a good idea.

It's such a good idea. Can you start to go fund me just on a dream and a witch? Many people do. Right? Fucking throw it out there. But can someone do this? Yeah. Well, speaking of ideas, whether they be good or bad,

Kanye and Kim, the child has been born. The prodigal son has burned. I am king's. The son has been born several weeks before Kim Kardashian's due date. And the name that everyone is talking about, that they've given the child, St. West. Well, also, he was destined to be born on Christmas Day.

Really? And I wonder if that has something to do with the name, because I think she got induced early because she didn't want to have her Christmas fucked up, which I understand. I wouldn't mind Christmas fucked up either. When you're rich, you just make the baby come whenever you want. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

No one wants their Christmas fucked up. Yeah, rich can do whatever they want anytime they want, and these people did it. Although I'm surprised that Kanye wasn't, like, baby holdout so that the baby can be born on Christmas Day, like Jesus. Yeah, and then it'll be like saying, yeah, I'm Jesus.

I'm Jesus. Yeah, exactly. You're really going to deny Jesus the opportunity to have his son be bored on fucking birthday of Christ? Come on. You know? I mean, it's all made up anyway, so.

Yeah, I know that's not actually Christ. So, still, though. I'm down, though, you know, yeah, in a manger and all that shit. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Get Kim down in some hay. Yeah, right. Make her give birth.

Just covered in donkeys. Artisanal hay. Especially bred donkeys. Maybe Kanye didn't want that because it would kind of put him in the, like, impotent Joseph figure. No, he's God. Yeah, he's God. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Ray J's Joseph. Yeah. So I think it's, I don't, I say I don't care, but I, I mean, I saw it today and that the name, and, like, of course, in the headline, didn't say what the name was. Of course, I clicked it. Yeah. I had to know. You won't believe what they named their babies.

St. West is fine. Yeah, I think it's actually kind of nice. I mean, for them, it makes sense. For them, it's fine. He's not going to be called, you know, like, Maxwell. Jeremy. Yeah. You know, I mean, it's just, that's not how it's going to be. Jeremy West.

I think it's sad, though, that I feel like they had to really trump Northwood. Like, they were. How long did it take them to think of Saint? I know, and I want to know what the other, like, top three choices on their list were. Christ. Christ had to be one of them. Christ to Jesus and Jesus. Because, like, right, Northwest is so weird,

and, like, it works somehow kind of for them, right? But then it's like, what other succinct, but powerful and weird and, like, kind of holy, you know, name are you going to find? And they did it. I wonder where they're going to shorten it to, because I thought it was interesting when they shorten north to Norrie.

Yeah, that's like all or norey. I mean, that's making it longer. Yeah, but they're just, they just made it up. I mean, they're just like, oh, yeah, no, it's a cool name, but we got this different name to call her for normal days. Yeah, right, right. And an endearment name or whatever, however you call it. Yeah, but what's saint going to be? Saintish.

Sain. Sain. Sain. Sainty? Yes. Sainty is weird. Sinti is weird. They're all weird.

Yeah. Sa. Sa. Say. Say. Say. Say. They say.

That's kind of fun, though. Say, yeah. Say. Say. Say. Say. I don't know. I don't know.

I mean, you know, whatever. You figured it was going to be weird and then it was. Now, I think the question that we started discussing outside is who, which child as they grow up is going to be more insufferable, North or a saint. I'm going to guess saint. You think so? Is it because of the Kanye influence? I mean, North is definitely going to be annoying. But I think Saint is going to be given the power, like the male power.

Probably. He'll get the male privilege element. Although I have to say that I love Kanye's Instagram. He posts a lot of really cute pictures of North. He really likes her. I'm glad he at least likes her. He spends a lot of time with her. He seems to anyway.

I guess, you know, they could, you know, maybe switch and maybe North could be like the artist. And Sank could be the useless one. Yeah, maybe Sain will be a model. Yeah, maybe Sank will be... Not that models are useless, Molly. They're not, they're not, but if we're going on the... I actually think that Kim Kardashian is a very talented business person, but in terms of who's the artist in the relationship,

it's obviously Kanya. So if one of the kids is going to be an artist, yeah, maybe it'll be North. Maybe they're just going to make them fight all the time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Compete for my love! At least they'll have their own nannies, so they won't really have to really ever deal with it.

with each other for at least 10, 12 years. Oh boy, and if you want to talk about something like that, I got a bit of a blind item concerning Kim Kardashian and Kanye West that I stumbled upon just today. Listen to this. The tabloys want to sell issues to the point where they totally turn a blind eye

to the fact that this A-plus list reality star has spent about 50 nights this past year under the same roof as her husband. That does not mean the same bedroom. It means the same roof. If this were anyone else, there would be stories about this and everything else in their marriage. But the tabloids have all signed a pact with this devil.

Wow. Because they got the money for it. It's like if you have enough money to pay them all off, then they won't have the fucking stories about you. Yeah. And also the tabloids are making their money on Kim and Kanye being a happy couple. Exactly. Yeah. So, you know, I mean, it goes both ways.

Interesting. Yeah. But then there's always, I mean, the idea of like people like Tom Hanks. Well, I've never seen him in any kind of tabloid my entire life growing up. It's like, how does that kind of stuff happen? Are they just really good at being private? No, because you know what the last blind item I saw with Tom Hanks? Was that his son wanted to do a protest, and Tom Hanks called him up and said,

boy, you better go to class. Maybe he's just a good guy. He loves Tom Hanks so much. Yeah. That's the last, that's the only blind item I've ever seen about Tom Hanks. He's just a boring dad. The paparazzi can't even find shit to do with them. That's great, though.

And he's a boy, because even when a woman is a boring mom, it's still like, she looks fat. Whereas with a boring dad, they're like, he's got dad pants on. You're scared, right? He can do whatever he wants. His dad bod. Look at the dad bod. Ooh, hot dad bod. Yeah, which you're in right now, which that's great.

No, it is. I'm happy for men. I think it's a double standard because there's no such thing as mom bud. It's real helping me out with this little gut that I'm starting to. Oh, yeah, you got gut for him? I'm starting to get a gut form. There's no gut there. It's forming, though.

I mean, if it was on your body, you'd know. You're right. That's true. It's definitely foreman. I can't suck it in on the train anymore. It's starting to come out after I quit smoking. I've been eating a lot more sugary sweets. Oh, yeah, you love your sweets.

You've been getting more in a fun dip lately. That is not something you should get into. So when you say sugary sweets, you mean literally packets of sugar and they get into your mouth. Yeah, you lick the stick of sugar and then you dip it in the sugar dip. It's sugar on sugar. I used to love it. That's the 2016, the year of sugar on sugar. You can still find fun dip?

Yeah, I went to a candy store the other day. They had fun dip. Yeah, because they don't have it, like, at the Dwayne Reed. No, that's not, no, no, no. They've outlawed fun dip as far as it just being, like, street legal. You've got to go to the specialty source for fun dip. God, I used to love fun dip. It is still so good.

I haven't had fun dip in a decade, and it is still fantastic. Doesn't it hurt your mouth, though? Yeah, doesn't it make it burn when you eat pizza later? Yep. When you eat pizza? So if you're eating fun-dipping pizza in a day, no wonder you've got a gut for them. I did eat fun-dip in pizza yesterday.

I remember as a child eating an entire tube of sweet tarts, shock tarts, and then going out to my favorite restaurant Pizza Hut and having the horrible restaurant. I was like seven. I was like, this is going to be a great day. I'm going to eat these shock tarts and I'm going to eat pizza. And my mouth was destroyed and I couldn't eat the pizza.

And I still remember it clearly because I was so devastated. The shock tarts really. destroyed all the lighting on my mouth. Wow. That's an important lesson. Yeah, exactly. Don't eat chuck cards an hour before you eat pizza. Space out the good things in life.

I think that's what that's... That's really what you've learned. That's what you really learn. Well, along with the birth, we also have a death this week. Scott Weiland of Stone Temple Pilots. We think it's an overdose. It's an overdose. I mean, we don't know conclusively that's an overdose,

but they found cocaine on his tour bus. And people have said that he... He is relapsed lately. So it looks like Scott Weiland died the way that we all thought that he would die. You know, I'm going to say, I don't know STP too much. Big STP fan over here. Purple was my favorite, my first CD. Every time I think of STP, I think of an RHCP song.

Red Hot Chili Peppers. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's my problem is I can't really distinguish between the two. Sing me the RHPC's RHP song. Dream of California. Yeah, that's 1999. It's later period, R-H-C-P, but I get it. Yeah, you get me?

Is it because of the letters, or is it because of the way the band sound? I think it's the way the band's sound. Also, I was never really into either one of them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got to know. Stone-toe and pauses is like, that's more Stone-tip-a-5. Oh, is that stone-trial?

Because that sounds like girl jam, but I'll take that, too. Well, it was the same era. Or if you get, like, the low, it's like, it's like, oh. Oh, I know that song, yeah. Really? You can tell them from that. I can't believe you can identify it.

Yeah. Did they ever have like a top ten that I would recognize? That's a top ten. Yeah, well, that was up there. But, yeah, their top ten is like that song plush. It's like, burn it, der. Yeah, it's a. Yeah.

That one I'm not getting, but I know. Tampic. Yeah, they had a lot of, like, number one alternative rock hits in the 90s. They just sound like all the other ones. I'm sorry, Marcus. No, no, no, no, I agree with you completely. They're not a good band. No, no, no, no.

But now he's dead. Were they still touring? I guess he's on the tour of us. He was touring with his new band. Like, you know how they're all these rock bands, like when you have the really troubled lead singer, they kick out the troubled lead singer, and then the lead singer gets a bunch of like kind of shitty musicians that are all younger, yeah.

That are all younger that will put up with him because they get a paycheck. That's the tour that Scott Weilham was on when he died. This is the song, this is the biggest Stone Temple Pilot song. Now I did it. Oh, yeah, I know this one. Yeah, yeah, everyone was their first big hit. Wait, did they sing Dick Down with a row around. Go to like it.

Yeah, that one, okay. All right, now I remember. Yeah, and then there was like Sour Girl. That was the other big one. You mind it? I mean, this was like 899. This is really when it shines that you're a few years older than us. Yeah.

I don't know this song at all. Yeah. No, I don't know. Honestly, I couldn't have named Stone Temple Pilots song to be a pavement. I could name four Stone Tipple Pilots albums. There you go. I mean, that's easier, though. That's a blanket.

Yeah. Well, I can name at least two or three songs off of each album. All right. You're a fan. I give you fan status. I mean, I'm not even that big of a fan. You just know that. I just was born in 1983 and was an alternative rock fan throughout the 90s.

You're going to know a lot of Stone Temple Pilot songs. They were among the biggest of the alternative rock bands around. But yeah, Purple was by very first CD. So they hold a special place in my heart. Mine is Natalie and Bruglia, so that's the difference. There you go. I saw when I turned This is how I'm here

Cold and shame Lying naked on the floor Oh, I felt Yeah, that's a good song So you were torn Yeah, what, 12? Yeah, but that's the only song I listen to On the CD, of course

Because why are I listening The other songs? You didn't go through the whole Overe? No Of Natalie and Boutrelia No Oh, I didn't know you knew French

so well We? No, I would just throw up my five-cd-disc changer, you know, and every time I would get to that album, I would change it. Click, click, click, click, click track seven? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You had that in your car or in your house? No, that was in my room.

What were the other four CDs? Yeah, good question. Usually, Lincoln Park was always in it. For a time, it was Papa Roach. And then it was so we have Lincoln Park, you had Papa Roach, you had Natalie and Bruglia. What? That all makes sense.

Yeah, you'd throw in, like, a, Jewel. and in sync. And then if you switch those up, song to song on each one, I mean... CD for every mood. Yeah, man, it's a mixtake. They're all the same mood.

I'm 13. I don't give a phone. Yeah, the moods of a 13-year-old. I hate this. I hate everything. Yeah, in the end, it doesn't even matter. Oh, man. I know that's true.

Yeah, yeah. Tearing up my heart. No, that was Backstreet Boys. No, there's a... tape my life in two pieces. This is my last reason. That's your Papa Roach right there. I'm torn, so you're sad.

It's all, I'm sad music. I mean, that's what happens when you're a tween or teens all you're listening to anyway. That's all fucking RHCP and, and, uh, STP. Well, RHCP, sometimes it's what I got you, you got to put it in you. I mean, yeah. What I got, I got, I put it in, yeah. Yeah, or being under the bridge. But also, I think that's also living in Florida where, I mean, that's just everywhere.

Yeah, you know. It was... Sadness? Yeah, but also, because I feel like R.C.P. Trashy angst. Yes, it was trashy angst, but also kind of beachy, you know? Like a little bit. No, no.

RHCP's very beeching. Yeah. Yeah, very, very beat. Californication. Yeah. That was the album. Scar Tissue was on that album around the world. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. All of those songs, man. Yeah, I mean, I've often wished I was a teenager in Florida. I don't know. I mean, I imagine it's the same amount of nothing. as you had in Iowa. Yeah, but the water is there. Yeah, you at least get to sell in the beach and do nothing.

When I was angry, I just had to go stare at the Mississippi River like Huckleberry's Hint. Oh, that's kind of cute. Did you paint a fence? What's his name? I can't say it on this podcast. Hey, hey. Tom Sawyer? No.

No, no. His buddy. Jim. His counterpart. Is he just called Jim? No, but we're just going to go ahead and say that that's his name. Is it in the actual book? Many times.

Interesting. It is. It has. But his actual name, the first name is Jim, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But he's referred to as N-word Jim, right? Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, many a time. Yeah, man, I mean, at least you guys had water. I did. I just stared at cotton, flat lands. That's kind of cool, though. Yeah, but you had bones. Yeah, of bones. Yeah, of bones.

Yeah, of bones. Coyotes. The water was important to me, though. I often, I felt a very literary kind of Mark Twain-esque relationship with the river because that's where you go. You go to water when you're sad. See, I don't. I always wished for mountains.

I think it just grass is always greener. Yeah. Because I didn't give a fuck because I'm terrified of water, so I would just sit there not ever going in and I would just get drunk and sit and look at it. Just the same as you. Yeah. But looking at it is nice. At least I'd see a fucking dolphin though.

Yeah, right. Yeah. I'd go to the lyrics we had was Lake Stamford, which was a mud lake. Texas is just, you know. Florida gets so much shit, and then you hear things like mud lake. Yeah, it was just a big hole that they dug in the ground and filled with water.

They dammed off a little bit of a river that flowed into it. And yeah, Lake Stamper, it was just brown. You could jump in, you couldn't see your hand in front of you. Full of catfish, though. Oh, I love a catfish. Oh, yeah, I grew up. Big mouse on. Big mouth, catfish.

They got the bass. We had bass and catfish and carp. In the mud lake? We had gars. Yeah. Gar. Like carp? Carp?

No, we had carp. Gars. They were like swordfish, but freshwater swordfish, and water moccasins as well. Oh, yeah, they're mean, sons of bitches. Yeah, yeah, yeah, poisonous, deadly. You go swimming with all those swordfish? Yeah, man. I mean, the water moccasins are more what you should be worried about.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you didn't go try, there was like a little shallow swamp area that was full of gar and water moccasins that if you went in, you could die. It was right in front of my friend's house, so you just kind of had to walk by it and get to the good part of the water and try not to fall in, because you could die. Sometimes we have certain tides come in, though, that's filled with, like, swordfish and things like that, like needle-nose fish and stuff, so you can't get in the water or else you just get cut to fuck. When I was in Florida last year, I saw a giant stingray swim right beneath the little dock I was standing down. You got to do a stingray shuffle. What's that? Stingray shuffle, got to do the stingray shuffle. Get in the water.

You shuffle your feet in the water. You never pick your feet up because they sleep and hang out underneath the sand. So the way they sting you is if you step. on them and then their barb comes up out of the sand and goes into your leg. So you do the stingray shuffle because they don't want to fucking be stepped on. I'd fucking sting somebody too if I got stepped on. So they hear you come in

if you're shuffling and then they go away. Are they poison? Yeah, it's a barb that goes through your leg. A poison barb or just a viscous bar? No, it's just a bar. Just a vicious bar. Yeah, yeah. I mean, you can't actually piss on it and it makes it feel better, but I mean it'll go clear through your leg if it's

big enough. Oh my God. It hurts like, fuck. I've never had it, but I've seen someone have it before because they didn't do this stingray shuffle. Clear through your leg like it'll amputate your leg up? No, no, it'll just go phew, like right through like a dart. Oh, I see. That's what happened when Steve Irwin is that he was, I guess he had scared it

and it went, it punctured right through his heart. That's how he done. Yeah, that's how Steve Irwin died. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Stingray through the heart. Hell of a way to go. Hell yeah. Is it time for Jackie's Christmas Corner yet? Sure. Yay! Do we have that? I don't know, I just made that up.

I wouldn't expect it, but you know what? Let's go for it, man. I mean, last week I feel like I talked about Christmas too much, but I did want to throw out there that I did watch the Bill Murray Christmas special that was just put on Netflix. I don't know if you guys have seen it. It's fairly drab, kind of weird. But I did enjoy it. Jenny Lewis is in it, and I love Jenny Lewis.

The singer, Jenny Lewis? Yes. He's great. And it's like a variety. It's just like weird. They're just singing in this hotel. and some parts are great, but overall, afterwards, it was just like, huh, Christmas. That's the, that's how I felt afterwards.

That's Jackie's Christmas Gordon. Yeah, that's my review of it. There is, like, going to be a straight up, legit, old-timey-looking Christmas special. Blake Shelton's not so family Christmas? It's, the cast of Empire, Taraji Henson and Terence Howard are hosting, like, Empire Christmas special. See, I don't watch the show, so what does that mean? He's going to be, like, soul music? I don't know, but I just think that it's so classic and kind of throwbacky to have an actual Christmas,

like they're standing in front of a fucking fire and be like, come watch our Christmas special. It feels very 50s. Are they in character? No. They refer to themselves as Taraji and Terrence. Oh, interesting. Okay, that's kind of fun. Yeah.

Doesn't that seem kind of Bob Hopi? Yeah, and they do fuck a lot in the show, right? There is a lot of fucking in the show. Okay. And you'll love it. Every time I think about it, I'm just thinking about it. just think about just like sexy people fucking. They're all fucking gorgeous.

Alicia Keys is there recently. Alicia Keys. I love Alicia Keys. Me too. This show is so like, oh, it's just so hot. The whole thing is just hot. God damn it. Hot, hot, hot, hot.

By the way, Blake Shelton's not-so-family Christmas. Thursday, December 7th. Wait. 17th. 17th. Okay, I was like, today's December 7. No. No.

Cancel. What am I doing? We got it. I got it. I got it in lockdown. I got it in lockdown. Put it in my brain. Got it in lockdown.

We don't really know what's going. There hasn't really been anything fully announced about it. We don't know what's going on. I guess they're still wrapping up what's coming. But, yeah, that's what the NBC website says. Is Gwen Stefani going to be on it, even though their relationship is a scam? There's full scam. A scam, a sham.

She won't be there. I don't know, but it's like, I mean, is Miranda going to be there? I wonder how kind of like, I mean, right? Miranda's on the porch drinking whiskey. We talked about it last week. I know we talked about it last week. At the same time, maybe it's good for her and her press to be like, I forego how we ended and I'm going to do this Christmas special. That's what I'm interested in seeing.

I'm going to watch it. I'll tell you all about it. Tell us all about it. I'll be a rehearsal, unfortunately. It's a Thursday night. Tell us all about. I'll give you text updates. Don't worry, Marcus.

Please do. And speaking in the music, saying in the musical realm for a little bit, they announced the halftime musical performers for this year's Super Bowl. Just try it. It's bad. It's bad. We talked about this band last week. May this will be called the puk half time.

That's all I had. That's it. That's what came out of my mouth. Okay, you remember last year, Katie Perry, wonderful spectacle, right? Yeah, it's great. It's fantastic stuff. You know, in the last years we've actually got some pretty solid, like Bruno Mars. That was actually pretty solid as well.

This year, cold play. Oh, no. I know. I know. What? I know. How could you get a less interesting, such a boring fucking band to play the halftime show? Oh, that is horrible news.

That's horrible news. I mean, I remember last year I was scared about Katie Perry because, you know, how I feel about, you know, I just thought that it should be like a Bruce Springsteen. But I understand. And she had, I was proved very wrong. Yeah, she had a good spectacle. This, I know I'm not going to be proved wrong. This is a garbage show. It would be literally impossible for Coldplay to make any of us happy.

No. In fact, this writer, Eric Oldham, writing for Yahoo Sports, he put it pretty good. He said, Colplay is dull, soulless dad. rock that's about as energetic as a dose of lithium. They're everything the kids do not want to watch. Their best days were in the early 2000s as Beatles knockoffs. The Suburban's answer to Oasis, maybe. This is almost laughable.

Wow. Who is that writer? Eric Oldham. Bump him up. Get him out of that. What are the Yahoo Sports? Yahoo Sports. That's a pretty good gig.

Okay. Yeah, it's not bad. Fantastic writer. Wonderful. Suburban Oasis is a fantastic way to describe. fucking cold play. That whole sentence was pure poetry. What an amazing sentence.

That was wonderful. Exactly how I feel. Yes. And Ad Week said that Twitter quote, erupted in mockery. Yeah, nobody likes cold play. Young people, old people, middle people. Nobody likes them.

I like that one album when I was 13 or 14 years old. But again, I already said what I had in my five-cddisc changer. So that really says what I was listening to. Yeah. But the scientists? what that album was? I just remember the face like it was like a face looking off to the side. The scientist was the second one.

Yeah, that's the one that I liked a lot. I liked the first one a lot. But you know, I was a mopee 17 year old when it came out. It's a mopee. Yeah. It goes like, you man, it totally is yellow. It's like I had fucking cold play on the same mix he did I fucking Travis's white as it always rain on me.

Like that's some fucking boopy shit right there. Yeah, that's staring out in a mud lake mixed tape right here. That's the mud lake of mixed tins. Oh, it's so upsetting and it's like I couldn't care less anyway about the Super Bowl and that just, I won't even watch a halftime show now. Remember when it was

Beyonce or remember when it was even? You love her. Yeah, Madonna. Remember Madonna's Illuminati cluster fuck? That was great. That was great. Janet Jackson and J.T. But like a prayer, I mean, that was a great part of it. So that's the thing, even if it's not somebody who you totally love, it's still, like, supposed to be a good goddamn show, you know, whereas Coldplay not going to be a good show.

There's just impossible. What are they going to do? No. Are they going to have, like, fucking Slash come out and play with them? I don't think so. Yeah, but maybe are they going to perform as CGI monkeys? Maybe that's what they're going to fucking do. Maybe that's what they're starting to set up now.

Yeah, they're not going to have RHCP come out and awkwardly lip-sink and pretend to play the bass. That's kind of. That was funny. Destiny's child isn't going to rise out of the floor. Oh my God, that was so epic. And what about memes? Are we going to get any good memes from cold play?

Nothing. Nothing. I think it's only going to be boring. Yeah, boring memes that you can use when you're bored as fuck, maybe. Unless I mean, have some nudity. That's all they can do. All they can do to kind of save it is have surprised nudity. But isn't it at all boy fans?

I mean, bring on somebody hot. They're all middle-aged. Yeah, nobody wants to see them new. Yeah. They're all middle-aged. aged guys and Chris Martin dresses like me. Like, no one wants to see a guy dressed like me

With a gut foreman? No, hell no. No, no, no, he's still on the goop diet. Oh, yeah, goop. Yeah, yeah. Goup will probably be there. Oh, goop will definitely be there for support. Ew, and we were, I know this is a terrible thing to say and I know we were talking about Apple last week.

She's turning into an unfortunate looking young woman. Well, yeah, she's looking, yeah, we looked at her last week. Did we look at a picture? I guess I, I, I said, I She's scared in a few pictures of her the other day. She's frowny, and I think the fear, listen, children are innocent people who should not be held accountable for how horrible their parents are. And we're making fun of her parents. Exactly.

No, but I'm agreeing with you that when somebody is fucked up as goop as your mom, she's either going to be an awesome kid who has to work out all of that horrible shit that her mother is. Or she's going to be another surrey. Or she'll be another surrey. Right, and that's not to attack a child, but it is to say that that I cannot imagine having gooped for a mother. How is Surrey doing these days? I, because that's actually how I started looking at pictures of Apple. It's like, oh, Surrey's growing up, and she is, but she's got the sour face. Yeah.

And it's so sad. It's like, bitch. My little one is very, very generous and very sensitive. Oh, Katie Holmes. Yeah. So she's always, you know, mom, let's give this to, let's give my old toy. to people who need it. She can't even finish something.

She's making it up. And she goes along. Let's give these toys. Yeah, I saw that Mommy Dearest, too, where she would take all the toys away from the kids and force the gig. Because also, the kid doesn't know. Just give the toys away.

You can do whatever you fucking want. They're fucking guillianaires. How are they acting like it's a nice deed for her to lie about Surrey giving toys? Surrey can have giveaway toys and get more. That's not a nice deed. That's not a good deed. No, she's just fucking doing it.

Mm-hmm. She's got that. Sour, sour face. Oh, super sour face. Can I see latest pictures of Surrey? Is she like a tween now? Well, she's getting there. Actually, I found a fairly nice picture of her with Katie Holmes.

But, yeah, I mean, she looks okay. Yeah, the one second burst of happiness. Her once annual happy moment. Katie Holmes is like, it's today, honey. Get ready for your happy picture. Practice putting your head. Smile no! Is this right?

HAL! Oh, poor surrey. I don't think poor surrey. I just think poor, the children of a rich generation. Yeah. Damn, what are you going to do about him? I don't know.

But, you know, who didn't grow up rich, you know, who is rich now, and you know who's coming out with a new book. Finally, the memoir that we've all been waiting for, the life you want by Oprah Winfrey. Ooh. Wait, first book? Her first memoir.

Oh, okay. I was like, it can't be first book. Yep, yep. This is her long-awated memoir. She's definitely written books like, you know, self-help books, things here and there. But this is her very first. She says it is the biggest autobiog-or, or deadline calls it one of the biggest autobiography deals in recent memories. So she didn't have a ghost writer.

She wrote it herself? Well, I mean, we'll see. You know, she actually was going to release a memoir way back in 1993, but put the kibosh on. I wasn't ready for it. I mean, she just didn't have enough. At this point, she has an empire. Right about creating an empire. I'll fucking read it.

But is it, I mean, I feel like her entire career has been one long memoir, right? Because don't we know everything about her? Yes, definitely. I mean, we definitely know about the mac and cheese incident. I did over a year the other day, I was walking in the city, and there was a group of, like, they must have been middle schoolers. And I guess one of the girls said that she didn't know who Oprah was. And she goes, bitch, they know who Oprah was! And all of the kids are, I mean, like, you ain't the hell of Oprah!

You ain't now. You know now. She's like, I do. I do know who Oprah is. But she didn't know who Oprah was, and she said it quite, because I heard the whole thing, said it quietly as like a, like a, yeah, so like a tiny thing. And it just, they just eviscerated her for not knowing who Oprah was. Which, to be fair, I mean, Oprah went off the air long enough enough ago now that that kid was probably like four or five last time Oprah was on TV. I mean, yeah, because the.

It was probably like 13 and 14. It's okay for her not to know who Oprah is. I mean, she's quite an entrepreneur, but maybe she should read this memoir. Yeah, and this little girl's not going to be reading O magazine. She doesn't have the O network. But also, I mean, I feel like this, why read this? You know, I take it back. I'm not going to read this fucking book because she wrote it and she oversaw it,

so everything that's in is only going to be pro Oprah. Well, I mean, she says that all of my experiences, even the painful ones have been there to teach me something about life. If I'm learning, I hope my story inspires other people to live the highest, fullest expression of themselves. She's going to have to put in there. She's going to have to put some pretty low lows. She's pretty frank about her lows. Yeah.

Her childhood. We all know about the molestation. Yeah, surviving abuse and all that. I feel like, is that going to be the lows and the rest of us to be like, I've triumphed, which she did. And, I mean, I love Oprah. But at the same time, I think the mac and cheese is going to be one of the lows. Is the mac and cheese going to be in there, though?

That was a blind item. I think, no, it wasn't. It wasn't. No, that was a story she told. You know the mac and cheese incident, Molly? I think we've talked about it on the show, but now I'm having a hard time remember. Where she ate, like, how many pounds of mac and cheese in one setting? I want to say it was, like, 10 pounds.

Like, it was, like, an exorbitant amount of mac and cheese. And I love, like, mac and cheese is my favorite food. Yeah. And I think my max is a box. Okay, so how many pounds are you saying, Jackie? I'm saying, I'm going to say 10, 10. to 12 pounds of macaroni and cheese 10 to 12 Molly how many

are you saying? I'm going to say six 30 pounds pounds I mean she must have been throwing them up it was it had to have been it was after beloved we've talked about this before it was after beloved was beaten in the box office by bride of chucky and I mean

that book is one of my favorite books of all times so I could understand why it was such a downfall for because she probably thought it was going to be another fucking Roots. Yep, she did, but no, I got beat by Bride of Chuckie. You know, I've never seen Roots before. Yeah, me neither. Marcus?

Texas. You must have seen Roots. What does that have anything to do with each other? I don't know. I feel like you. What do you mean? What do you think? We all get around the fire every Christmas and watch Roots?

You fucking did Texas? I don't know. I've seen one part of it. Yeah. You've seen a lot of Selena, so, you know, I thought maybe roots would be clumped into that. Roots is the Colompton and Selena. Yes, hardship. Yes, technically.

Both movies are about overcoming hardship. I guess there's a lot of movies about that. Have you ever seen Roots? I've seen like five minutes of it. I don't know about Texas, but some southern states have a reputation for kind of avoiding the subject of slavery rather than making everybody watch the documentary. I wonder if they watch it in Canada, because of it. because there's that whole chain called Roots. It's like the Macy's of Canada.

Oh, no, I don't know about Canada. I think people just watch it. Yeah, because it's called. So that they clarify, not this route. Not this route. No, no, no, it's a different route. Yeah, yeah. No, we didn't have slavery up here.

It's too cold. Oh, right. It's time for the list. Yes, I have the list. Yeah. Got to have that list. Okay, well, this one's okay. It's stars who have served in the military.

Interesting. Yeah. We all have Drew Carey. Do you know him? No? He was in the Marines. Whoa. Is that why you had the flat top?

Yeah, hair cut. Yeah. He was in the Marines for six years. And if you read his book, Dirty Jokes and Beer. Never will. It's fantastic. Really? I've loved it when I was in, you know, junior high.

Okay. All right. I learned a lot about Drew Carey because I was a big Drew Carey fan when I was in junior high. I don't know why I latched on Drew Carey, but it. dead for some reason. Was it because of whose line is it anyway? Because I loved that show. I didn't like that show that much.

It was because of the Drew Carey show. Okay, well, you're just digging a whole. It was pretty good. Yeah, whose line is it anyway was pretty good. But it was, you know, the Drew Carey show combined with his book, Dirty Jokes and Beer. And when she talks about his time in the Marines and says, gung-ho, thumbs up, Semper-Fi. How do you feel about the fact that he got the I-Fixie machines and, you know, and yet he still wears fake glasses.

Lazy-it. I'm totally fine with that because he understands that he looks weird without glasses. He does. He's got tiny eyes. You're not holding the grudge against your longstanding love of Drew Carey. Absolutely not. Drew Carey would have to fuck up pretty bad for me to not like him anymore. I think he's too far out of the spotlight to really fuck up that bad at this point.

He's hosting prices right. He's loving life. Oh, man. He's got good, he's had good solid gigs his entire career. Good syndication games. Yeah. And he had a very hard time going, going. through it. Like he definitely went through a lot of

shit to get to where he is today. Marcus learned about it in his book. Dirty jokes and beer. I did. I learned a lot about Drew Carey's hardships. But he's a good dude and I say thank you for yourself. Ice tea. Ooh. He was in the army for

four years from 1971 and 1975 because he could either go to jail or join the army. That's the thing. He joined the army. He joined the army instead. And then he made come up. Coco and I've got good good. Wait, is that show still on the air? Ice Dean Coco?

Yeah, I watched the inaugural show, but I mean, I never, I'm never around in the daytime to watch it. I don't think it is. I don't know, but Ice Tees Twitter is pretty good. Sometimes he'll be like, I play a cop on TV, but cops got to stop killing people. Like, you know, like, it turns I'm like, yeah, IST. Some pressure political commentary while also being like, watch me on NBC's Loudor. It's like, you know what? I get it and I love it.

Yeah, I'm like, whatever. He's cute. He's very cute. Montel Williams? Ugh. He's a yucky boy. I don't like Montel. Yeah, he was, you think he's a yucky boy? Yeah, I think he's a yucky.

Is it because he's a talk show host? Yeah. Will you say the same thing about, um... Not iced tea. No, it's not, I don't think it's a talk show thing. Why am I blinking on the fucking name? You know, Dr. Phil, Mari? Yes, Mori.

I was like Murray? No. No, I don't like Mori either. Yeah, he's a yucky boy. He's a yucky boy as well. But I like him. It's because of the terrible fear episodes of Mari that I really do enjoy. Is it because of Sylvia Brown?

Montel's relation to Prilia Brown. I don't know who Sylvia Brown is. She was that psychic who sat like a smoker. Ms. Cleo? No. No. Miss Cleo was a hack. You know Sylvia Brown.

She was like an old blonde lady who was like sitting in the back of every bowling alley and was just like I can sense you're missing somebody. It's a grandfather. Yeah, this is Sylvia Brown. Oh, I don't know her. Actually, she looks like someone that Jackie would love. Yeah, yeah. I'm stunned, Jackie. She went on Montel all the time and she would just like point at people in the audience and be like, you've lost someone in your life.

And they'd be like, yes. She'd be like, it was a family member. No, it looks like what Long Island Medium is aspiring to become. Exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what Long Island Medium really is. Although she is coming to New York, and I thought about buying tickets for about 30 seconds. Oh, she's going to get the out in the L-I-R and come to New York.

She's coming to the city. She's going to do a live big show. I'm going to go to the city for a while. It'll take me 30 minutes on the train. I'll do the thing. I'll go back on the L-I-R. I'll be hold by midnight. You know, I just, I love her.

Forget about it. Forget about it. All right. It's time for blind eye now. We can't see them. We already heard one, but we still got some juicy ones coming up. This former A-plus-list tweener turned what appears to be a B-plus-A-minus-list singer-performance-art-doing kind of person. What?

I know who it is. You know what I'm talking about, Molly. Has been texting and calling this B-plus-list singer actor, who is an Academy Award winner nominee nonstop. They hooked up a couple times when hanging out. out with a mutual friend, but our former tweener thinks it's serious. Our actor-singer has someone he sees regularly, and the tweener thing was just one of many people on his, I'll fuck anything that walks parade. All right, so the tweeners obviously Miley Cyrus.

Obviously. But who's the little boy? Well, the boy, he won an Oscar, best supporting Oscar, either last year or the year before, for playing a transgendered person. Oh, Jared Love? Oh, of course. Yeah. They were an item for like a second, though.

I remember that because I was very jealous. Of who? Of Jared Leto. Yeah, Jared Leto and Miley Cyrus. But apparently Miley Cyrus getting a little bit clinging. Jared Letto probably figured, hey, she's a, you know, fucking freewheeling lady. I don't know. She probably got past it.

Maybe we could just slide in there and slide back out again. But apparently Miley Cyrus didn't go want to do a little bit. Listen, Jared Lerlurie. Maybe she saw Fight Club and realized that Jared Leto was once a very dreamy boy, even though nowadays I think he's disgusting. Yes, I mean, I talk about him my so-called life Jared Leto. I mean, that's why I think he's so sexy. Yeah. Not the band. What was his band called? 30 seconds to Mars.

I mean, yeah, like that whole thing, that lost me. Ew. He was great in Dallas Byers Club, definitely. Right. But I think he's got this whole Joker thing going on. That's going to be creepy, I think. I don't care about those things, but I'll watch it. Yeah, I think it's going to be embarrassing.

You think so? I think it's going to be one of those you watch you. Is that the one? He's going to be The Joker with Ben Afflat? No, no, no, no, no. He's in Suicide Squad. Totally different movie than the Joker in Ben Affleck. With Hadi from Wolf of Wall Street.

John Haleigh. Leonard of the camera. Your brother. Ew, Molly. No, the one that played the really nice girl that played his wife in it. I just know she's really... The girl that was in A to Z? No, no, no, the one that played his wife in Wolf of Wall Street.

The blonde one? The blonde one, yeah. Oh, she's in that. She plays the Joker. She plays Harley Quinn. Oh, yeah, okay. Now I'm there. So, like, I didn't want to watch it just for that because apparently she's, like, the nicest person in the entire world, so I like her. Okay.

And I don't want to see how weird Jared Lito is. Yeah, I want to see how weird he gets, definitely. I'll definitely watch how weird he gets. That is what I did want to mention, though, of the Bill Murray Christmas special, is that. If I may bring it back. Just bring her back to my Christmas corner is that Miley Cyrus performed in it And I looked it up and everyone was just like

She shows that she is a singer She sings and she is beautiful And I really didn't fucking see it Yeah And I'm not saying I'm a big hater on Miley Cyrus But she kind of looked like A prostitute sitting on a piano With George Clooney and Bill Murray

And the two of them are like You know obviously like love and on dancing on her And I just didn't think I thought it was nice, but the way people are talking about it as if she's Whitney Houston, I just don't see it. She's not with Whitney Houston, but maybe a year or two ago, she went on Saturday Night Live and sang, and she is a good singer. She has a good voice.

But it's just that, you know, when they over vibrato, over the other, that, ha ha, ha. Yeah, no, people got to stop that. I didn't, I just, I mean, that, it's like, yeah, I'll take it from a Mariah Carey, but I just didn't, I didn't care for it. I just wanted to throw that out there. That is another thing that I wanted to say. She does look a little bit like a prostitute, yes. She got the short dress.

I mean, she's, as classy as she's... Super classy, but when you got... That's Paul Schaefer? That's Paul Schaefer, yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a weird, it's a weird special. Yeah, they just got whoever. Yeah, when you got the girl and the classy dress being carried by the two older men and

tuxedos, it looks a little hookerish. I just, I felt that the entire time she was on the screen, I just kind of was uncomfortable about it. Yeah, she... Yeah, I don't know. what she's going through right now. She's going through something. She's definitely, I mean, she's testing her

limits, you know, with the big dildo thing and the, you know, the tit shirt. Yeah, the tit shirt and she's dating chicks now, I think. And I think, but I don't know. She's been doing that for a while. But I feel like it's like a weird show. I've seen her pussy. I don't give a fuck about it. It's only, it's interesting

because I feel like, for young people who would be like, oh, like, she's not normalizing it because she's not normal. But I think it's, the more celebrities who are just like, gender, Not gender, but sexuality is totally fluid And you can just date whoever, I feel like that's cool, right? I mean, I'm down.

I mean, I don't find. But it is, yeah, I mean, I think the other choices that she's doing, I actually do think, when I hear her sing, I'm like, girl, you can sing. You don't need to be so weird. Also, she still had the tongue thing in it. Yeah, that's just obnoxious. And I don't like her for being sassy towards Nikki Minaj. Ooh, girl.

They had a fight. Oh, did they now? Yeah. Back one, what was it? Those were old fight, but the VMA fight, remember? Oh, yeah, that's right. But didn't we read that that was all created? Yeah.

To drum up a little bit of press. Yeah, I think that's true. Do they need press? I don't know. I mean, these people, they need to be in the public eye constantly all the time. But I was all about to be there with Miley. I'm like, yeah, you're like talking about how gender shouldn't be a binary. You're queer as hell.

All right, fine, cool. You got a good voice. But then she hosted the VMAs. I was just like, you're so annoying. Mm-hmm. And now she's got the big spike dildo that she's wearing all the time, and that's fine. But it's a little... And the Terry Richardson photo shoot was, you know...

Much. A little much. Yeah. You know? It was a little much. It's like, hell yeah. You're a sexual being. This is great, man.

It's great. You know what? We all fuck. Yeah. We all fuck. Everybody fucks. And there's your pussy. Yeah.

There it is. There it is. There it is. I think what it is is that part of it in my mind, and I know that it is that, and I know that that's what she's trying to break is that she's still, I mean, I grew up with a niece watching Hannah Montana. Yeah, she's like, I was a nanny through Hannah Montana, so watching it sometimes makes me feel dirty.

Yeah, no. It makes you feel like she's too young, even though I know she's old enough now, and it makes me feel like she's too young. See, I'm in a position where I've only known her as Miley Cyrus. Okay. Well, but also, I think getting out of the shadow of her fucking father, her shitty, one-hit wonder. How dare you? Akey, breaky heart goes through the age.

Ages, Molly. And that's where we got to wrap it up for today's Faith 7 on 4th. Those are your last words, Jackie? That's it. That's all I got. That's all you got. That's what you got to sign off on.

Oh, no. Well, I think everyone could go out and listen to Whitney Eustens, do you hear what I hear? Because I've been listening to it a lot. Oh, she does do you hear what I hear? Oh, you? Oh, I like that one. I love that song.

She's got the gospel choir coming in. Oh, my God. I mean, did. Do you hear what I hear? Oh, you are a monster at Christmas. See you every next week. Bye. For more shows like the one you just listened to,

go to cavecomedyradio.com.