Page 7 - Episode 183: It's All Easy

Episode Date: December 14, 2016

Marcus, Jackie and Molly discuss of Jackie's great cinematic loves: The Santa Clause, learn about how to spot someone faking excitement about a Christmas gift, and talk famous women who married much older men. Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

The best thing about singing at Christmas is the Christmas cookies and the fun. Oh, what, uh-oh, go on a bit something. I don't know the song. I really wish I knew all of the words. I talked about it last year. I get obsessed with it every fucking year. Wait, no, I thought that was, uh-oh, what on a theater. It is, it is a, it's Molly Shannon's Christmas cover of Shania Twain's.

I feel like a woman from the Santa Claus too. Yeah. Oh, okay. I watched 20 minutes of the Santa Claus. Why only 20 minutes? Because it was on television while I was making dinner, and then dinner was ready, and my husband didn't want to keep watching it.

Oh, you and your non-denominational household. Yeah, he's a real scrooge. I got into a big fight with Henry over the weekend because he hates the Santa Claus. Really? Hates it. And I was like, we watch it every year. He's like, yeah, but I hate it.

I was like, I've never heard. heard. The movie is over 20 years old at this point. And I know that he hates Charlie and I get it. The kid is really annoying. But at the same time, that's not what you're watching it for. At the same time, Judge Reinhold gets his weeny whistle in the end. Oh, my God. A weenie whistle. You know, it's just like, it's got all those. It's like, Charlie, I don't know how I could do this without you. And he just goes, you couldn't. Could I ask, is there, does it deal?

Well, this will be a spoiler alert, but I think it's okay since the 20-year-old. I think it's okay. People don't watch the Santa Claus for a scintillating plot. Having only seen 20-25 minutes, I was curious. I didn't realize it was all about like a bitter custody battle. Yes. And I feel like we always talk about. Most movies in the 90s are about a bitter custody battle.

That's the thing. I was thinking about Mrs. Doubtfire and how after Robin Williams died, everyone was like, a lot of kids whose parents had gotten divorced were like, that movie was really, like, beautiful and like really got me through it. And so I'm curious, did the Santa Claus also deal with it well or was it not so much? But think of how terrifying it would be. In the same vein that Mrs. Doubtfire could easily be a horror movie. The Santa Claus is like they're going through this custody battle and Charlie thinks that Tim Allen is Santa Claus.

And then he starts looking like Santa Claus and he gains all the weight. And as far as his ex-wife is concerned, he's dyeing his beard and dying his hair. How horrifying is. Yeah, definitely both, something both films have in common is that they make the wife look crazy. Like, I can identify with the wife in both films, even though Sally Fields is like real bitchy, but you're like, if you met, if you actually, if you put yourself in that position and you're like, are you really fucking dressing up like fucking Santa Claus? You're talking into Santa Claus. What's wrong with you? Just to manipulate our child?

That's why they get full custody. Because, like, that's, I'm sorry, spoiler alert. No, I did see that part. But, you know, it's like, that's why they get full custody is because it's horrifying. Yeah, it is absolutely. And I forgot that he murdered Santa in the beginning. Yes. Well, Santa falls off the roof.

He manslaughter. He falls off the roof and you're the big guy. That's Bernard flying. Doug and I quote the Santa Claus all year long. Veronica, very nice. And then she turns around and she goes, in your dreams, sleigh boy. Good 90s burn. In your dreams.

Playboy. Say it, don't spray it. In your dreams is up there would say it, don't spray it. And as if. And talk to the hand. I actually do want to see the rest of it. I enjoyed it more than I thought that I would. The thing is that I do, this is, it's hard to say, I do enjoy the Santa Claus 2.

The Santa Claus 2. What was the Santa Claus 2 all about? He finds out that he has to, he's like up in the North Pole, he's doing his thing. And then Bernard, you know, of some bullshit part of the contract. is that he has to have a Mrs. Clause. Oh, yeah, that's right. So he's got, like, from the beginning of December until Christmas to find a Mrs. Claus,

which is why he goes on a blind date with Molly Shannon who's obsessed with Christmas and she sings that song. I see. Yeah, that's a good way to stretch it out. I love Molly Shannon. Yes, that's correct. I really, really, really love Molly Shannon.

She's excellent. Always has been, in my opinion. I almost, I was at home over the past few days as everybody knows. The movie, which I went on and on about to everybody, other people, where Molly Shannon plays a serious role, the best movie I've seen this year, in a long time, it is on Netflix right now. Oh. And I told my mom about it, and it's all about a mom's relationship. And I was like, oh, we should watch it.

I was like, no, no, no, no, no, no. I would, like, be cradled in her arms being like, duh, you can die. You can't die. I can't handle it. I can never watch it with her. No. Let her watch it after you've left. But it is on Netflix.

I'll watch the hell out of it. The thing is, I just have a hard time. One of the reasons I think I haven't seen that many movies is because I don't want to sit down and watch a sad. I like listening to very sad music, but I don't, I don't set, I don't want to, like, settle in and have a really sad experience with a movie. Yeah, I'm kind of the same way. I don't watch a whole lot of really sad movies. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, life's sad enough.

Give me the Santa Claus. I guess that's why, because I like to really feel, because it's not my sad. Ah. Because then you lose yourself in the sad, in a fictional sad or in a non-fictional sad sad, if you're watching really sad documentary. See, I watch really sad documentaries. Yes. I like a documentary, too.

But not sad movies. I'll do a sad documentary. I watched the Amanda Knox documentary this past week. Uh, enjoyed that. Um, yeah, I like a, I like a scary documentary and a merch. mystery too. I don't like horror movies that much, but I'll like a murder mystery. Oh, like the one about the sleep demons. Man

with the Big Hat. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a nightmare process. I can't remember what it's called either. I think it's just called the nightmare. Yeah, yeah, it is called the nightmare. That's a good scary documentary. I've talked about it on here before. But every time I see it on Netflix, I'm like, God damn, I got to watch that again. But I couldn't sleep for a few days, so

that's rough. Here's an interesting fact about the Santa Claus. Please. I've got actually a few of them. One of them is that Tim Allen in 1994 For one week he had the number one movie in America The number one television show in America And he topped the New York Times bestseller list

With his book Don't Stand Too Close to a Naked Man Oh, okay, I don't like the title See that's what I remember For some reason, remember I was a hater as a child And I remember in the 90s just hating everything about Tim Allen and thinking he was way overrated, thinking he was everywhere.

I didn't get it. He wasn't attractive. I didn't want him to be my dad. He's got a certain amount. Of attractive? Kind of. No, that's your daddy. It's my daddy.

You can't judge. It's too much of a daddy for you to. I have watched his old stand-up, though, and it's all real weird and coke-driven. Yeah. See, he just seems like a plain, like I watched Seinfeld, when I was a kid, and Tim Allen just seemed like a milk toast watered down

Seinfeld, like just a generic white guy. I think it is because my mother was so beyond obsessed with Tim Allen, which is why I like him. You know, I'm saying, I don't find him attractive. I see the attractive qualities in it because my mom would bang him in a heart. That's why I've seen Christmas with the Cranks so often that he's got a new show called Last Man. She keeps on, oh my God, you got to watch Last Man. standing. Oh my God, he's so funny.

I watched 10 minutes of it. I was like, shut this off. You gotta shut it off, Mom. I can't watch it. She's like, he's still so attractive. I was like, he's not, I, you know, I rescind it. You just say you wouldn't bang Tim Allen? I wouldn't. Well, I would dis shove in my mom's face.

Are you allowed to say that as a 30-year-old? Yeah, I think that's fine. Yeah, you can totally say that. Yeah, I'll give that to you. Like, I banged Mom. If Tim Allen walked in the door right now, though and you couldn't tell your mom but he was like I'll fuck you if you don't tell your mom would you do it that would be really weird if he knew about my mom just walked and said oh her her I don't tell your mom Ducky oh he is really old now he was looking okay in

Christmas with the cranks but I think even that was a few years ago yeah it was a few years ago I did a confession real stone the other night and I I watched that by myself and I enjoyed it it's a very weird plot what is Christmas with the cranks. Jamie Lee Curtis and Tim Allen and M. M. M. It Walsh. He's been everywhere. Yeah, you're talking about him a lot. He's been in my dreams.

Christmas on the clouds. It is, it's weird. It's a weird one. And Dan Akroyd's in it? I haven't. I... The youngest kid in Malcolm in the middle is in it. Oh, doy. Doey. Doey. Does that his name? Yes. Doeyes in it.

Frankie is Malcolm's name in real life. That is true. That was wrong. So it's pretty much the plot of Christmas of the Cranks is that there's a couple that decides to skip Christmas one year and all their neighbors freak out. But it's because their daughter joins the Peace Corps, which in my mind I was just like, she's just going to get raped wherever she's sent. But that is my own, you know, that's my own thing because she's a beautiful girl. The whole town is obsessed with Christmas and they decide to skip Christmas, but like, skip it. won't do anything.

And the whole town is, it gets really upset about it. I mean, I don't want to do a spoiler here. Is there a fat suit in this movie? When I think of Christmas, there's no fat suit. Okay, because I think of,

they decide to go on a cruise. So there's a whole tanning scene. Uh-huh. So, like, it's him and Jamie Lee Curtis, and the whole thing is that it's Christmas Eve, and they're about to go on this huge cruise, and their daughter surprises them. And, like, actually, I'm coming,

I'm coming back. I'm going to be there. a few hours and she came back from South America with her fiance that she randomly got engaged to. So the whole town comes together to get everything, to have the Christmas party they always have and everybody works together. Do they turn the boat around? No, no, they weren't on the cruise yet. Oh. They were leaving on Christmas Day, so they find out Christmas Eve. I see. Do they get a refund? There's, I'm not even, it's, I don't want to get into what happens with it, but I'm guessing they give, okay, let me see if I can guess here.

M. Emmett Walsh is the obnoxious neighbor. Yes. And he is alone. He is a widower. Close. Wait. No, I got to stop you here. No, but his wife is dying of cancer.

Oh, my God. His wife is dying of cancer. So instead of going on the cruise themselves, they give the tickets to the obnoxious neighbor and the wife that is dying of cancer, but we don't know that she's dying. of cancer until the end of the movie. No, you know it's getting worse and then you find out that it's really bad. And it's very upsetting.

That's pretty serious for a movie called Christmas with the Crank. Yes. Cancer, an imminent death. It's actually, guys, I'm saying C-grade Christmas movies. Pretty good. You say it's on Netflix?

It's on Netflix. I'll watch it by myself. It's a good by yourself movie. I need a lot of things to watch by myself. Cheech Maron's in it. Mm-hmm. Yeah? Jake Busey's in it?

Mm-hmm. Oh. What do you got against Jake Busey? I don't know. It's the name Bucy that fall. Jake Bucy's son. Wait, does he play the police officer? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Officer Treene. Yes. Yeah, they're fumbling cops together. Oh, I bet so. Caroline Ray's in it. Felicity Huffman. Mm-hmm. It's, you know, when it comes to those movies, it's not bad.

Is their last name crank? Yes. Yeah. And I did watch Jingle All the Way at least three times in the past 36 hours. That's one I want to watch this year. Now that I've seen at least some of the Santa Claus, I'm satisfied. But that was the two. This year, my New Year's resolution was to watch the 90s Christmas movies that I was too much of a hater to watch as an actual child.

So now I got Santa Claus part of the way done. And I want to do Jingle All the Way. If you need any of them, I've got them all on TVT. Is Jingle All the Way better or worse than the Santa's? The Clause. That's scary to say. It's scary to make me choose. Yeah.

Jingle all the way. Oh, you can't believe you're going to know. It's got Sinbad in it. It's Sinbad. And Phil Hartman. Yeah. I mean, it's stacked. It's definitely stacked.

I mean, Christmas, Santa Claus only has Tim Allen and Judge Reinhold. Yes. But Jingle All the Way is the one with Arnold, right? Yes. Okay. But, and also, it's now it's a family tradition, guys. Now it's, I was so excited last year when I saw Crampus.

And I knew my, My mom loves horror movies, and I surprised her. I bought the DVD, and I had it come to the house. And we watched Crampus to such delight. Crampus is such a fucking good Christmas movie. Even though it's so scary? It's, but it's scary, yes. But it's also what I like is that all of the scary things are practical.

It's not CGI. There were actual puppets that they made that they had to interact with. Nice. I love puppets. Dude, you guys have to watch Crampus. I highly recommend it. I'll do that this year. Sorry, Christmas Hole.

Speaking to Judge Reinhold, he just got arrested. For what? Benetophilia. No. Drug driving. Judge Reinhold is such a... It just always makes you think of arrested development. Judge.

He was me, Judge Reinholt. Disorderly conduct. My name is Judge. What did he do? He was at... He was at an airport in Dallas. He thought that he had cleared security. His bag raised an alarm.

He was taken aside for a security pat down. And he started him with the, am I being detained type thing? He started freaking out because he didn't want it. And now he's getting fined $500. See, this is rig. Am I being detained? Yeah, I think this is, I'll show you as mugshot. This is the look of a very angry put-out man.

Oh, Judge Ryle. He's put-out. actually doesn't look as bad as I thought he was going to look. He just got like one eyebrow town like, oh, come on. Oh, come on. Yeah, that's an, come on face. Come on, I'm Judge Reinhold. Mm-hmm.

But yeah, that's pretty much it. He's 59. Looking great for 59. He does look really good. Judge. My name is Judge. Those sweaters, though, out of this world in the Santa Claus. Yeah, he is, the 90s were, how did people, this, I mean this as a question,

how did people find men sexy when they dressed that way? I don't know. It's just cultural? I think it's just what you're around because then, you know, it's like, oh, he's a guy I dressed. Because I do watch a lot of full house reruns, and the clothes that those people wore, even Jesse Katsopla. How dare you? No, I will not accept what you're about to say. High pants, baggy sweater, v-neck, cable-knit, baggy sweaters that only go down to their mid-torso.

No, no. When I close my eyes and I think of just, Jesse Katsopoulos, all I think of is those like, not too deep V-neck, white, plain t-shirts with his pants, and then he's got the nice boots on. He was mostly okay dressed. His pants were too high. Were they?

Yes. Was it like moose knuckle too high? Yeah. Uh, well, no, just too high. Just like, why are your pants that high? But I have to wear high pants. We've talked about this before. Maybe he's got a high ass crack.

And maybe you're really hating on him for a deformity of, His ass crack. There's no way his ass is that high. It would be impossible. His legs would be halfway up his back. It wouldn't make any sense. It would be kind of funny, though. But, like, I know that neither Danny or Joey was ever, like, really a sex object,

but they dressed like clouds. Well, Danny is a widow, and anything goes. Yeah, but aren't we meant to have, were women who were adults watching Full House back on the day, were they meant to have found him attracted? Yeah, but think of the weird, silky, pants suits that Becky wore, is that attractive? Yeah, no, you're right. It's not right.

It's not right. But women, you know, yeah, I mean, I think the women's clothes in the night. We're also ridiculous, but at least that you could still see their bodies and, like, women, if you think a woman has a sexy body, she can be in a weird pantsuit and still think she has a sexy body. The men, men, you know, they need clothes that flatter them. and 90s clothes they were all blousey. Everything was so bad. It was blousy and poofy and pleaded.

Yeah, pleaded. That's the big thing. Yeah. And I just wonder, I mean, obviously, obviously fashion changes and trends change and stuff, but sometimes I look back at, like, Judge Reinhold and the Santa Claus or, you know, any of the, and I wonder, like, were we supposed to think that they were attractive or did they just not care about attractive men back then?

He was supposed to be dowdy, though, because I didn't even think it's like, well, think about the 80s. It's like, are super. short shorts attracted attractive to you on a man I'm saying some men short but to me as a whole really really short shorts on a guy

don't do it for me I think it's just I think it's just a generational thing yeah really short shorts on a guy don't do it for you I mean I Doug did have some swimming trunks that he wore for a while I'm not saying they did it for me

I'm saying he wore them for a while who am I to say what he can and cannot wear. Of course, I'm about to say, like, him and his brother went through a pretty hardcore short shorts space this summer. I actually do kind of like a guy in short shorts. I like that trend has at least opened up that space. I mean, like, the ones that are winged on the side, like, like up in their crotch.

Yes, you do see a lot of the Austin brothers' thighs in the summer. But you know what? They got pretty good thighs. Yeah, I like men's legs. I never understand why men won't wear shorts. Men are so bashful about their legs. I think men have nice legs. No, mine are awful.

I don't think that's true. Yeah. No, they're hairy and skinny and my thighs, the tops of them. They all have like these red bumps on them. It's really weird and gross. Everybody's got the bumps. Yeah. No, you don't need to see mine.

I understand. Yeah, I have a fondness for men's legs. Yeah, I like a leg. I like a leg. I'm a leg man. Well, I've found this little gift guide. It's not just a gift guide. It's a guide for this Christmas to see if your Christmas gift gift,

is a dud. Oh, no. Three subtle reactions to see if your loved one is faking it when they open your present this holiday season. Oh, my God.

I'm like a hawk when people open up Christmas gifts. I know how to read people and I look all over and it's like, just tell me if you don't like it. I get very self-conscious

when I open Christmas gifts because I feel like I immediately have to put on like my, like, the face. I love this gift. And that's number one. The recipient appearing too delighted.

If someone says, wow, when opening your present this year, you may be in big trouble. Truth. Other signs include saying you shouldn't have and awe. I do the awe. Yeah, other phrases are, I needed one of these. And I love it. I love it. I want to push back, but they're all correct.

It's true. But what are you supposed to say? What is a fake cry? What is a genuine fake cry? This is fucking great. Cool. Oh my, no, it's, oh my God. Oh, my God.

I'm very good at opening up presents that I hate. I'm really, I don't mean to toot my own horn here, guys, but I'm really, really good at it. So don't give me anything because you'll never know how I really feel. I never give, I know that I never give anything good enough to even worry. warrant a fake reaction like that. See, that's my problem is that I, again, toot my horn. I'm really good at giving gifts, though. Yeah, I get that about you and I don't have it.

It makes me jealous. I think that you must be very good at giving gifts. I take notes all year. Is that sad? No, it's very loving. It's very thoughtful. Yeah, that's very sweet. I take notes.

I have a whole, like, note thing on my phone. I'll just like sometimes someone mentions something and I'll just write it down. That's so smart because now I just wait until December 22nd, and then I just go to Barnes & Noble. No, because then it's good for, it's good for birthdays. It's good for communions. I don't know what else besides birthdays and Christmas. Bar mitzvahs.

Bar mitzvah, sure. Yeah, you know. You never know what a bar mitzvahs going on. Having a hostess party for a new house. I don't know. Another sign that they hate the present, they just sit there and stare at it. See, that's a dumb, that's dumb. Yeah, you don't need to put that on the list.

It's a show that they're trying to come up with a lie to show appreciation. or simply dumbfounded by the logic. Because if they, you know, open a present, they're like, well, obviously this person doesn't know me. But how wonderful is it? I actually witnessed it over the weekend that I saw a gift that was given to someone that was so surprised by it and so touched by it. And her response was so elated and taken it back.

I actually, I want to say I haven't seen something like that in a really long time. Really? And I was so, like, it took. brought me to tears of her reaction of how happy she was. What was the gift? It was a gift. I mean, I'm bringing the family here, but it was a gift that my mom is a quilt maker, and she'd surprised my brother's girlfriend with a quilt that she had been working on for a really

long time that they were talking about, like, she was in the middle of being like, I really was thinking they have this new place and like, I was thinking of getting this quick, like, if you wouldn't mind making us a quilt. and she starts talking about this quilt, and she, word for word, was saying exactly the quilt that my mom had been working on for months. And then my mom gave her the quiz. She was just like, I got to do it now.

I have to do it now. So she gives her the quilt. And the look on her face of just pure joy, I just, you know what? Fuck it. I'm in the Christmas spirit. First time I've known you. You're in the Christmas spirit.

I am in the Christmas fucking spirit. Yeah, you are. It's crazy. You're even wearing a, like, like a red Christmas. Shrock. A Christmas. I have a Shrock on. Yeah. I have a Christmas shrock on.

I'm smiling. See, I think that that, I think you got to make something. I guess I'm, I'm, you're, all these, this list, Marcus, is making me feel like I don't get any, like, I don't know what would excite me enough to me. I feel like I always give these reactions, even if I do like a gift. Yeah. And, oh, a book. And I bet the other thing that you would do is possibly show a. affection straight off.

If you show physical affection straight off, it could be a way to kind of curb the awkwardness of the bad gift. Just like, oh, and then you go right in for a hug. Right in for the kiss or the pat on the back. The pat on the back's a real bad one. Marcus, have you ever gotten a gift that elicited like a real emotional response? From like a girlfriend or a lover? Or a family member, yeah.

Actually, it was actually the quilt that your mom made. It was putting that love into it. I also had a very similar reaction. There's some amount. Wait, do you really have a quilt from Jackie's mom? Yeah. Oh, I thought they were just doing a bit. No, no bit.

No, she made me a quilt a couple of years ago. It's got a skeleton, like in the center's a skeleton with a top hat and a cane. Yeah, she called him Mr. Chilling. worth and it's got all these little like on like sewed into it is the word the word bones over and over again there's all these encyclopedia um encyclopedia entries of like spiders and bats and stuff like that it's like one of the best things anyone's ever given me yeah it was very very much forward love she's got it that's the thing she's got it man she's got it because she just like thinks about a person and makes something where i try to do that but i could never live up to what she does

But that's why I think I try to be so good a gift giving because I can't make that, but I can write notes all year. So I do implore everyone. Start making notes. And then someone says, oh, I may, you know, it's like, oh, that's something I've always wanted. Write it down. It could be in fucking April. Write it down. That's smart.

That's very smart. And if you're still looking for some ideas, some of the things to consider for the perfect gift, personality, hobbies, sentimental stuff. What's trending? Uh-huh. Oh, yeah. Oh, don't even get me started of the amount of emoji things I bought for my tween niece. Ooh. So that's who that's bought for.

Emojis. There's emoji pants. All my students have emoji, have those pants that say 100 on them. They love the emojis. I like that 100 pants, yeah. Well, I bought her a shirt that's the poop emoji throwing up a rainbow. Oh, that's fun. And my mom says, well, she can't weigh that to school.

I was like, why not? Everyone loves an emoji. It's a Snapchat filter. They throwing up the rainbows. Yeah, everyone loves that. That's what they're doing. That's what the kids are doing all day. Every day throwing up rainbows.

It's true. It's a Snapchat filter. The emojis are really weird. They have taken over. At least it's not Duck Dynasty. Remember Duck Dynasty? Yeah, I remember that they canceled it, I think. Oh, yeah.

It's over now. Yeah. Unless one of them gets a position in the cabinet. Well, toilet flush Sorry, I couldn't help it I wasn't gonna do it It's a toilet flush or appraiser It's a toilet flush

But well that's not like a full on like toilet flush That's more like It's a obligatory toilet flush I'll take it You know there's not a lot going on In the celebrity world No no no not at all Nothing that we want to talk about

Exactly nothing that's not just going to elicit A whole series of toilet flushes I did start watching divorce forced though. Please tell me about it. How furrowed is Sarah Jessica Parker's breath on a scale of one to ten? And also, I didn't know that I enjoyed

Thomas Hayden Church. Yeah, and we had talked about this last week as well. I couldn't believe you'd never seen wings. Oh, that's right. Wait, did we talk about it on here? That was a personal conversation. That was a personal conversation between the two of us, yeah. Personal conversation. I kind of can't believe you've never seen wings. I don't know. I just, I think

it was like, it was always on what's, you. USA or TBS. Yeah, Wings was on USA three times a day. You know what it was? What's his name? Weber? Lowe. No, it's Stephen Weber.

Yeah, yeah. Stephen Weber don't like his face. Yeah, it's a bad face. I think that's why. I hated his hair. I hated the way he acted. And I think that's why I never got into Wings. He was the worst part of the show.

But you got to watch it for Roy, who's like the big fat pig that runs the airline across from Sam Piper Airlines. He's the one that, he runs like the, I guess you could call it, kind of the competitor airline, but they're still all friends, you know, like they still all, you know, joke around with each other. And then there's Tony Shalub who plays the cab driver. I do like Tony Shaloo. He's in every, I think, like, Tony Shalub is in every, like, medium-level sitcom. He's perfect for medium-level. Well, no, he was in that one.

He was big at that one. What is he? Monk. Monk. Yeah, but that was about as medium-level as you could possibly get it. Yeah, that was like the A-list of medium-level sitcom. And isn't he also in suits sometimes? Probably.

No, there's a different one that he's in. I see him on any show that we'll have its reruns on USA, TNT, or TBS, or My Nine, Tony Shlub is in them. Yeah. Tony Shlub is the height of mediocrity. I have a project that I'm working on over Christmas. It is a craft project of sorts. And I think that I'm just going to watch wings throughout it.

I did that with cheers. I did it last year with cheers. I just sat and watched all of cheers while I was working on something because it's great. It's a hullabaloo. You just kind of throw it on and go, oh, I understand what's going on in this.

But Thomas Hayden Church is a delight. He is a delight? Well, he's not in it. He's very annoying in it, but so is she, and that's what I like about it. Is it like... She's bad. He's good, but boring.

She's bad actor or bad character? Bad person. She's got a bad person in the show. And he is a good person, but he's annoying. And I can, I guess it's like thinking about that whole thing where it's like there's so many relationships in the world that you are together forever and you're like, oh, God, I'm annoyed by so much of what you do. But I love you. And I guess we're going to do this for the rest of our lives. And that's what the whole show is about.

It's like being like, you know what? I don't want to do this anymore. is okay so here's my real question about Sarah Jessica Parker how much is is she capable of playing a character that's not Carrie Bradshaw of course she is haven't you seen the family stone I haven't seen the family stone don't that's another one I will never watch it with my mother ever again I can't watch whether it's too emotional that's an alone movie she is very similar to the character I would say that she was in the family

She's more of like an upper, you know, it's like she's trying to be a mom, but, you know, oh, she's just, she has all these feelings. And so she's trying to deal with them. That's a good Carrie. It is, but she's not being here. She's not Carrie. Okay. Because she's more stuck than Carrie was. Okay.

All right. I guess she's like an act, like I don't like how Marcus you were talking about, how you always picture that like Bill Paxton is himself and Twist-Twester and then and Big Love, like, I don't do that with most actors, but then there's some actors where I'm like, oh, you'll only, and that's probably more on me than it is on them, where I'm like, you're only ever Carrie Bradshaw, and then when I see them trying to act like somebody else, I just get mad

that they think they're not Carrie Bradshaw anymore. You know, and I'm like, who do you think you are? I completely understand, and I've seen all of sex in the city, however, I see her as only the character she was in the family stone, like that she does this annoying throat thing, like, ah, ah, ah, um, and in it

in it they're like it's like oh you do this throat thing she wasn't even conscious she wasn't aware of it and in my mind that's her character forever because I've seen the movie so much I think I want to watch the family stone by myself so good

I think I want to like so good if you want to just have a heavy I mean neither one of you do because I know you guys don't like sad movies just watch other people watch the Family Stone Get your crying out enough For the entire year

And then you'll be great Because you will I don't want to watch wings You can't You gotta watch you You gotta do You gotta emote You just wanna watch loo

You know that part was written Specifically for Thomas Hayden Church Did he have a mustache in it? Some seasons I think he's had a mustache And maybe a couple of seasons But for the most part he did not No wait, nope

I'm thinking of the promo for divorce. No, he has a mustache and divorced, but no, he never had a mustache in wings. The mustache is rough. Loll Mather. Is there any way I could see a picture of Thomas Hayden Church? I'm not certain I know who he is.

My big problem with Thomas Hayden Church. That guy? Well, he's very young in that wings picture. He's handsome, though. He's handsome there, but he's not. Well, actually, you know what? No, I take it back. He's handsome now.

He's daddy handsome, but without the mustache. Uh-huh. I remember, what is the wine movie? Sideways. Sad's face. Sideways. Sad's face. What's Sadd's face's name?

Baldiomati. Balgiamani. Marcus was like patiently. I love Baljeumani. I just remember in college for years, one of our friends who was in murder fist in the beginning of murder fist had for some reason a huge head of Thomas Hayden Church from sideways that we used in everything for about. a year. Like a paper machet? No, it was, no, it was an actual, like a cardboard cutout or like a video store or something.

But it was huge. It was like half the size of this wall. Like it was too big that we did a bunch of stuff with it. So in my head, I always think of Thomas Aden Church is like, oh, we're making fun of Thomas Aden Church just because he's a whatever and we've got a huge head that's the size of half of a wall. I never saw sideways because it looked boring and I don't care about wine. I started it and I thought it was boring and I didn't.

finish it, but that was like 10 years ago. I think it is a really good movie. I think so, too. It is actually a very good movie, yeah. They're both very good, huh? Yeah. And I like Baldi Yamadi. If you like watching people be miserable, it's a great movie for you.

But, you know, I'd rather than, I'd rather watch them be really, really sad. Oh my God, watch other people. It's on Netflix. You don't want to see people in a shitty part of their life. You want to see people during a devastating part of their life. I want to watch Devasting. That's why I watch the Family Stone. I think I can do.

Like, Family Stone, I think I can do. I don't want, like, real listy. It's not Schmaltz. No. Like, um... Every time I hear Judy Garland's version of Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas, I sob. I was in the airport this morning,

at 5 o'clock in the morning, and Judy Garland's version of Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas was on, and I cried alone to myself. Henry wasn't there? Alone. I was good. Because of that movie, I will always cry to that song. It's such a song.

You got to watch a movie. It's not, you got to watch a fan. If you want to cry and you want to think about Christmas, watch the family song. Heron Moroni's so good at it. Rachel McAdams, she was young and in her prime. She's so good in it. Sarah Jessica Parker's good in it. Oh, yeah.

Now, I remember, okay, yeah, it's just that time of the year. when I Google the Family Stone. It's your holiday tradition forgetting what the Family Stone is. Yeah, me too. Oh, and Coach is in it. Oh, well, why didn't you say so? Oh, my God.

Coach is the Patriarch, and Diane Keaton is the matriarch. Okay, all right, I'm there. I didn't realize. Oh, you got two. I thought it was 100% schmaltz. Oh, no, schmaltz. I'm fine with schmaltz. I like a schmaltz.

It is written very real. It is good. Family dynamic. Really? Okay, I'll watch it by myself. As someone that now, I feel like when I first saw it, I didn't see it as real family dynamic. But now that I'm older and having like significant others come to the house

and now we're all old and we're all bringing our significant others to the house. It is very well written. Okay. Sorry. All right, it's time for the list. Who's on the list? Have yourself got a married. Famous women who married much older men.

I like it. Oh, I like this list. Katie Holmes. She was 27 when she married Tom Cruise, who was 43. That's not that. We both at the same pitch. I usually need a pitch bite, but that time we didn't need it. I was 30 and my husband was 41.

So only a few years Well, that is 11 years That is 11 years But it sounds like Molly Neffle is going to be on the list Up next Molly Neffle Slap her on the list

She was 30 While her husband was 41 Non-denominational household they live in We live in a mixed religion household Meaning neither of us is religious But we have different Judeo-Christian values

No, I just, I feel like 27 and 41 is not, it's not like, I don't know, or however, 43. I feel like you got to be over, I don't know. I'm sure that when I'm older, I won't think 50's that old. But I feel like 40s is, early 40s is still a young. Well, not a marrying older men, but marrying much older men, meaning men that are older than them. Yeah. Yeah, I think you can say that if the dude was born in, or if the dude was in high school when the girl was born, I think you can say older. Okay, fair enough.

Yeah. I think that's a good rule of thumb. Okay. Your husband was 11. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's fine. That's totally fine. A couple years out of high school.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. A couple years out of high school. Maybe masturbating already. We don't know. But. We should have them on here. We should probably find out. Galista Flockhart when she married Harrison Ford.

That's. She was 38. He was 60. Oh, she was 38. She was 38? I thought she was a lot younger than that. Oh, no. She didn't get fame until her, like, mid-30s.

She looked great. So young. Then he married, um, and. Half. Nope. Hey. Did he? No.

That was just in that movie. That was before Callistic Flockhart. Oh, okay. Six and seven nights. Yeah. He had been married twice before. Yeah. I'd never seen six days seven nights.

I just remember. No one's seen six days seven nights. I just remember the, the box at the blockbuster. Mm-hmm. And I was like, oh, this looks boring. Yeah, yeah, I think that that's right I mean... Wait, they're not still married.

I don't know if they are. I got a feeling they still are. 22 years is a lot. It kind of depends. The window gets bigger as you get older, right? Like, if you're 18... Yeah, they're still together. It does because like in 18...

Okay, so I, like, my husband and I are 11 years apart, but if I had met him when I was 18, that wouldn't have been okay. You know what I mean? I don't know. I think it's kind of sexy. I think it's sexy. I think 18 and a 29-year-old, be a bigger work?

Yeah, but like, but. I'm saying 14 and a 25-year-old, yeah, that's rough. Yeah, that's real rough. Right. Well, it has to start at 18. I believe it's illegal. Yeah, right. We're only starting.

Only starting at 18. But I feel like, you know, 10-ish, 10 give-and-take years. Okay, it depends on the 20 years is a big age gap, no matter how 80 and 60 even. That's a big. The big age gap. Even 70 and 50. Nancy Kerrigan. married a guy 15 years older than her.

This guy named Jerry Solomon. She used to be attractive. I'm looking forward to that movie. Dude, she's still super hot. Is she? Big mouth, big Julia Roberts mouth. Yeah, yeah, she's still super cute. Where is?

Oh, yes, she is. Yeah, he's old, but he's fine. I've always kind of had a thing for Nancy Kerrigan. Wow. Yeah, I don't blame you. She looks great. I mean, there's got, I'm pretty sure there is a biopic coming out soon. I think there is a biopic coming out soon.

I think so. Let's see, Nancy Kerrigan, Biopic. Are you just saying biopic? I think it's biopic? I think it's biopic. I think it's biopic. Yeah, Margo Roby's planner. I think people say.

Or is it Margo Robby? No, she's, well, they're both really hot. She's become attached to a script by Stephen Rogers called I-Tanya. No, wait, she's playing Tanya Harding. Yeah, with the blonde hair. Ooh, I'm going to say the hell out of this biopoeic. Oh, man, she's definitely hotter than Tanya Harding, that's for sure. Yeah.

So the Lord knows are they going to get to play with Nancy Carrey. That was, like, definitely, like, the first, like, news drama of my, like, conscious childhood. What? Mine was more the OJ, but I think that. But I do. I actually, until I watched a weird documentary that was on Netflix, didn't really understand what happened. With Nancy Carrigan? I want to watch that documentary.

I don't remember what it was, but I will let you know what it is. Because I remember that the whole thing happened. Yeah. But I didn't exactly know what it was. And then I watched her was like, damn. She wrapped her. Rapped her behind the knees, right? Cold as ice ice.

Hired somebody to whack her in the knee. To whack her in the knee. Yeah, with a crowbar. Yeah. It's just ice skating, dudes. It's just ice skating. Yeah. But you know what?

That was the... What was that for? I'm sorry. I didn't realize my phone was so close to my video. vagina and then it vibrate and it vibrated and I got scared and excited all the same time. You know, honestly, I thought that's what happened. Most likely scenario. It just got surprise vibrated.

Phoebe Kate's married Kevin Klein in 1989. Worth it. She was 26. He was 42. And you know what? Still together. That one doesn't count. because Kevin Klein is so sexy.

He is still, I mean, I know what's daddy sexy, and so is she. And I think that that. She's painfully attractive. In the big chill, Kevin Klein, yummy, yummy, make me a shoe. And it was on an audition for the big chill that they met. Oh, was she going to play the dancer? She probably was going to play the dancer, yeah. Oh, my God.

It was probably a screen test or something. God, she must have been so young for that. I also. I mean, it was 1989. She was not, she was 26. Part of it is that Kevin Klein. Oh, she was 26 in 1989? Yeah.

Well, they married in 1989. They originally met at an 83 audition for the big chill. So she was 26. So she wasn't been 20. She was 26 and 89. Worth it, though. Kevin Klein is yummy, yummy in my tummy. And he just seems so like not a, he just seems like, uh, I just trust him.

I just feel like if he married somebody, he did. it for love. I just wanted in my, we always had like, the big chill was our like high school, like my high school friends. I feel like not all high school friends have that, but like our group of friends, we had the big chill. We all had who we were in the big chill. And I was always J.T. Lancer, who was the one that gets famous, who's kind of the asshole. But in my head, I just wanted to be Glenn Close and I wanted to marry the Kevin Klein. And even if I cheated on him, that he would still love me no matter what. I think I did it.

Shania Twain. In 1993, she married a guy named Robert Lang. She was 28. He was 44. They divorced in 2010. If you'll remember, after he cheated on her with her best friend. Baster. And then she went on to marry her best friend's ex-husband.

Man, I bet she feels like a woman, though. That same best friend? Yeah, that same best friend. They did a switcheroo. Yeah, she married a guy named. I'm Frederic Tibado. No, wait. Frederick Tibbo.

They just did a husband swap. Pretty much. Yeah, some people, like parents with some kids that I grew up with. They did that too. Really? Yeah. I mean, honestly, that probably should happen more often. Everyone should just arrange for it.

Like 15-year check-in, you want a husband swap? I think that's great. Yeah. Like a low-key party. So long as everybody's down. Yeah, right. And it didn't even have to be permanent, but like, oh, you want to fuck around? Let's switch it up.

And at Benning and Warren Beatty? Oh, yeah. 55 and 34. Oh, yeah. Yeah. But again, he was a sex icon. And so was she. Yeah.

Dick Tracy. I think sometimes, sometimes age doesn't matter that much, but 20 years is a stretch. I think in the glamour industry, it's less. Because then you look, it's like, I don't know, we're watching Don't Breathe,

and it's like, Stephen Lang, Don't Breathe, is a wonderful horror movie, and Stephen Lang is in his 70s, and he is ripped, and he looks awesome in the movie. And then you look at, like,

my dad, who was, like, the same age. Like, oh. Well, no, he's not the same 70s as Stephen Lang. I had a friend in high school who was obsessed with Peter O'Toole

at the time. And at the time, he was already, like, in his 80s. He's been old our entire lives. Yeah. She was, like, really, She was like really into current at the time, Peter O'Toole, and we were like, you have to stop.

He is way too old. And she wouldn't back down. I got like a buzzard. Yeah, no. I like my daddy times, but the grandpa times, no, thank you. Grandpa times, that's a little much. Yeah, I don't think I have any grandpas on my list. Well, unless it's in Frankie and, um.

Oh, Grace and Frankie. Grace and Frankie. San Elliott. Yes. and also Ernie Hudson. Both of them I would bang. Yes. Actually, that's two grandpas.

That's a grandpa time. But they look really good. They do look like grandpas, though. They look like great-grandpas. Yes, they're white-haired, both of them. White hair is grandpa-dhaired. I don't think you should be considered a grandpa. If you can put me up over your shoulder and carry me to a bed and have your way with me.

So maybe I just have never had a grandfather before, but... This is the show where we unpacked your granddaddy issue. Yeah, Jesus Christ. I've never had a grandfather before, so I'm allowed to say these days. I guess. Time for blind items. We can't see them. This former A-plus list, mostly movie actress, who is an Academy Award

nominee basically shamed her friends into spending thousands of dollars each the other night on her side project, I bet there are going to be a whole lot of returns. Goop? No. Yeah. Goop? Yeah. Shakespeare in Love. She's, yeah, that's the Academy Award.

Did she win for that? No, I mean, it's a nominee or else they would have said award winner. Well, award winner nominee, yeah. I wasn't sure if she'd actually want or not. She shouldn't have. That was a bad year. What are you talking about? That was an amazing...

A bad year for actually winning? Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The movies were amazing. No, the movies were amazing, but Shakespeare in love, give me a break. Give me a fucking break, yeah.

Now, she started doing Goop pop-up stores that she calls markets. Like Tupperware parties, but for Goop stuff? Kind of sort of. They're just like little pop-up stores where she sells a whole bunch

of goop shit and they're there for a little while when they leave, but she calls them market stores, but it's market with all the vowels taken out. So it's like, Merkut. Oh. Merkut.

How do you get, how do I set my gird up in my murkut? I can have my yurt. You're available as a market. Our goop market spaces are a fully shoppable physical expression of the brand touching on everything from whom to fashion, to health and

wellness, to clean beauty. The thing that pisses me off about the goop thing is it's not like she's making the shit, she's just collecting lists of other shit that other people make and then she sells it. And I bet she barely gives the money towards the people that actually make the things. Certainly not.

It's like she's like Etsy, she's like Etsy but just for herself. Yurt. Just to personally benefit herself. Oh my God. Yurt. Did you all know that Goop released an actual cookbook called It's All Easy? Not all easy, Goop.

Just want to rip out her hair. I hope she gets alopecia. I'm sorry. When Barefoot Contessa says, how easy is that? It only kind of pisses me off, but I still love her. But if Goop says it's all easy, no, it's not. At least Inagarden is making it for her homosexually repressed husband that she is also scared of. Yeah, and she's so scared.

How easy is that, Jeffrey? I've made a chicken for you again. How easy is that? Every Friday. You can't not come home if there's a chicken. Oh, you're out on Fire Island? That's okay. How easy is that?

How easy is that? How easy is it to keep my husband? Just make a chicken. It's really hard to keep a husband. Let him be gay on Fire Island. Every year on our anniversary, I make Jeffrey Brownies because I started sending him brownies when I was a teenager and he was in college and I was still in high school. That's true. And every year, I just give him brownies and I always wonder if he's going to remember.

And then they always cut to Jeffrey in the car like, Yeah, she sent me cookies. Brownies, whatever. Oh, I'll bet you, I wonder what you'll give me for our anniversary. Oh, it's brownies every fucking year. Ooh, but doesn't Jeffrey just love it? Jeffrey's going to love it. I just love how the ends of his mouth curls up as he eats the brownies and I make him for our anniversary.

I invited 10 of my gay friends over to put candles all over the house. I'm not paying them, but they have been working for hours. How easy is that? How easy is that? Next up. This permanent A-List singer who's been in this space frequently as of late pulled off a very tricky maneuver yesterday. She managed to wiggle and writhe her way out of her panties while seated at a table.

She said they were bothering her, so she took them off and then just left him sitting on the table. When an assistant came over to remove them, our singer told her to leave them there for the world to see. Mariah Carey. Yeah. That was confident. Wow. How did you know? Because there was all these pictures online.

For some reason, there's a weird photo shoot of Mariah Carey and her twins and Bay and Blue Ivy. And it's just like, oh, divas together at Christmas time. But there's all these jokes about how like it looks as if, I don't know that Mariah Carey made it happen or. or if people just assume that this is how it should be, that like her face is so photoshopped and her body's so photoshopped. And Bay looks normal holding her kids' hands. And it's, I don't know, she's everywhere right now.

Uh-huh. And it's so sad, though, because she got rid of the billionaire boyfriend. Yeah, that's why. And now she's dating some schlub. I still miss Nick Cannon, honestly. I think that they were good together. And it's so weird that she gets, again, she keeps those twins out of the limelight, and I think it's because the little girl wears glasses.

It's all because the little girl wears glasses. Because the little boy also has a weird almost cross-eye. They both have weird eyes, and I think she keeps them out of the limelight. Well, this is the picture that Jackie was talking about. Yes. And he does have weird fucked up eyes. He has weird eyes, and she's got the glasses. on.

She looks like her son looks like a tiny Lionel Richie. Yes. He's got a lionel rich ear. Okay, but I'm a Mariah Carey. I'm looking for. Both of those children are cute. One, two, did she get like a Blue Ivy twin? I don't know what the girl with the fan is.

There's four children in this picture, and there's only three children of the two women in the picture. But I did stare intently at it. The one with the little bow on her head right next to Bay is Blue Ivy. I love Blue Ivy. Oh, my God. I recently rewatch the formation. video just to be in awe of Blue Ivy's badassness. Those children of Mariah Carey are cute.

I think that Mariah Carey is ashamed of her children. She might be, but that's not okay of her because those children are cute. I love little children with glasses. Everyone knows it. But at the same time, get those eyes fixed. Well, yeah, but it's okay. Nothing wrong with them. Marcus laugh at the joke.

He kind of looks like he has fetal alcohol. It is weird. Both of them have weird eyes. Well, they're twins. Maybe they were, sometimes twins come early, and sometimes kids who come early have. They got a billical courts wrapped around their necks. No, they just have different developmental issues because they're born teeny tiny. So maybe they got, they just need glasses.

And that's fine, but do you see them in any of the tabloids? Although Mariah Carey is everywhere. But maybe she's responsible in protecting her children from them? I highly doubt that. Are they Nick Cannon's children? Yes. Okay. And finally, apparently last week, you think you guys are going to love this one.

Actually, I think you guys are going to fucking shit yourself over this one. Say it right. I think you might like it. No. I wish. I really wish. I think you might like it. It's not a jantra.

Okay. But we still might like it. I think you might like it. Yes. Thank you for you. It's all we wanted. It doesn't even need to be a jant-frette. It's just the phrase I think you might like it.

Apparently, love it. Last week, this getting to be permanent A-list, one-named singer, had an interesting cocktail hour with this foreign-born A-plus-list celebrity who is A-plus list everywhere in the world. She-chained-smoked joints and had wine, and he sipped on a few straight whiskeys, sunset and a beach in about 40 security staff who kept their distance. Adele and Adris Elba. No, no, no, no, no. Start over. Both the wrong. It's racist.

Actually, Molly, you got the nationality right. British. Yeah. One named singer. Smoking joints. Rihanna? Bob Marley. I was going to, honestly, my first thought was Rihanna, but then I was like, is she A-plus

everywhere? She goes? No, the guy is A-plus everywhere in the entire world. British? Okay, so it's Rihanna. Mm-hmm. And then a British person. A-plus wherever he goes.

A-plus wherever he goes. A-plus wherever he goes. goes. A plus everything. Been A plus since he was born. Elton John. A plus since he was born. Prince George.

Almost. Harry. Yes. Oh. Harry and Rihanna. Oh man, I do just quick side node. I don't like it. I saw a headline.

I think I don't know if it was a star or whatever. And it's like, Prince Harry, knock somebody up. That was the headline. I was like, that is trash. In the most trashy way possible. Wait, so you're saying that Prince Harry and Rihanna were smoking weed together. Well, Rihanna was smoking weed. Don't know if Prince Harry was, but they had appeared together publicly for like a World AIDS Day thing in Barbados.

But he's dating someone. He's dating a normal. Well, they decided to have a little thing off alone on the beach together. Maybe his normal gave him a celebrity exception. Oh, I love him. him. He doesn't even need it. He's a prince. He doesn't need his celebrity exception. The normal should get a celebrity

exceptions from him. She gets at least multiple celebrity exceptions. I have so many celebrity exceptions. It's ridiculous. Yeah, your list gets a little longer every week. Oh, it is long. I feel like I recently negotiated a celebrity exception, but now I can't remember who it was.

I'll cross that bridge when I come to him. My girlfriend's celebrity exception is Jeremy Renner, but I'm fine because he's gay. He is gay, but I do understand where she's coming from. Yeah. I get it, but I ain't got nothing to worry about. No, you ain't got nothing. That's the problem is that when they're so

similar, like, Star Wars. Oscar Isaac. Oscar. I knew his name was Oscar, but I kept wanted to say Oscar Wilde. Oscar Isaac. But when Doug looks at, he's like, oh, well, that's similar to me. I play guitar. I smoke cigarettes, so he's fine with it, but he doesn't have it. Yeah.

Isn't that that? I, but Prince Harry, for sure, in a heartbeat. Yeah. Ginger, ginger boy. I've never gotten it with the princes. Neither of them have ever done it for me. Well, the other one is bald now and that's sad. But when he was young, he was cute.

But Kate Middleton, Marcus? I mean, come on. Right? Yeah, of course Kate Millen. And Rihanna. Oh, yeah. Oh, if you, I mean, for me, like, yes, Kate Middleton is, like, beautiful. But Rihanna is like.

He's down dirty. Have sex. And just so much more interesting than Kate Middleton, no offense, Kate Middleton. Ouch, that's an ouch. I'm sorry. I'm saying, ouch for Kate Middleton here. Yeah, but Kate Middleton's, I'm sure that she's actually a very interesting person, but her thing in public is to be like, I have to be like a pretty queen.

I would say fuck-wise, Rihanna for sure over Kate Middleton. Easily. Going out on the town and having a time, I would probably say Kate Middleton. Yeah, I couldn't keep up with Rihanna. She's young. She's full of pep. I can't deal with that shit no more It'd be the kind of thing where it's like

Oh let's slam in the bathroom That's great but it's like oh but we gotta meet my mom Yeah I gotta be up tomorrow Yeah I got things to do It seems like Kate Middleton Would more understand I gotta be up tomorrow

So like let's have a nice time on the town We can get a little wacky You know Maybe one of us will pee on the street or something She understands it Because she's already too busy vomiting from her constant pregnancy Although Prince Harry

Would fuck in a hot tub That story about him fucking Like they had all the pictures of him fucking that girl in a hot tub. Yes. He is my number one wood fucking a hot tub. Really? You're, I'm going to say number one. I love him.

I love ginger. I love a ginger. I got, this is, we diver. And he's a prince. This is where our paths. He's a prince. Where there was only one set of footsteps you were carrying me. And he's a bad boy.

He's so bad. He's not that bad. Oh, he's bad. And he also was like, he was flying planes for the wrong. something, something, something. He's flying planes. You're flying planes. You're banging in hot tubs.

Sure. We'll do. You know what I, we don't even have time to get into it, but I would, every time I see fucking James Franco in that movie for that goddamn movie, the preview for that movie, I still would fuck him. Even though he's so obnoxious, I think that he's still, I feel, I think he's hot. Everybody's got those. You know, he just, I think he's a beautiful man,

and I think that he's the world's most obnoxious. very beautiful man Marcus looks alone Between who I'm saying looks alone Leave the personality at the door At the door Gwyneth Paltrow

Wow Yeah easily Yeah yeah we didn't even know We can fuck them and then have James Franco And Gwyneth Paltrow hang out with each other And then you and I go out for a beer or something Oh yeah dude I've had a crush on Gwyneth Paltrow from the moment I saw it Is it because we shouldn't goop so much I didn't even know this about you

Oh I mean I can completely until totally separate. I mean, she is like as just a woman. Oh, we're talking, yeah, we're just talking about just sexually. Just straight up sexually just looks. Yeah, Gwyneth Paltrow. Wow. And yours yeah, for years. I mean, there's so many. There's so many. That's a problem. It's just so many. I can't even think of his name right now with the, with the Tomahawk. Uh, Daniel Day Lewis? No. Um, Cole Drago. Johnny Depp. Oh, uh, the, the, bleh. Uh, uh, the, uh, the, uh, Um, what's, what it's, um, Jason Mamoa. Thank you.

Jason Mamoa. Yeah. Yes. I don't think that we would get a lot. I don't think I would have anything to talk to him about. Mm-hmm. But man, I just bang the shit out of him. Yeah.

Can you imagine me and Gwyneth Paltrow trying to have a conversation? No, no, that's the thing. Like, can I interest you in my yurt? Sure, let's go fucking the yurt. All right. Let's bring all the limes with us. James Franco would be talking about his projects. Ugh.

I've fucked enough guys with projects, James. I'm done with it. All right, that's all we got to have for on today's page 7. Thanks everyone for listening, and we'll talk to y'all next week. Love you guys. Love you. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to cavecomedyradio.com.