Page 7 - Episode 184: All Stars

Episode Date: December 23, 2016

Marcus, Molly and Jackie discuss their favorite (and least favorite) Smash Mouth songs, famous people with scoliosis, and engage in their favorite Page Seven Christmas tradition. Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Christmas Christmas. Christmas. I love that song. I can listen to that song 100 million times. Hey, Jackie, what's a middle-aged elf you'd like to sleep with?

What's a middle-aged elf you'd like to have sexual relations with? I guess it would be called a Mel. Happy Melph and Christmas. Page 7. did casually come up with the joke, Melf, and I felt really good about it. And thank you for including it, Molly. I can tell you were upset that you didn't say it on mic. I was upset.

Oh, it sounds like a Melff, huh? Well, yeah, it's right before Christmas time, you know. It is, I think this is pretty officially Christmas time. Yes. This is, what, the 21st that we're recording this? So I think this is, like, prime Christmas time. Oh, yeah, baby. We're in the guts of Santa's best.

really really being digested by Santa yeah it's definitely like it's like the time where you're like I have to start feeling fucking festive

you know things to do I've been having a lot of fun the whole time you know that's how I feel right now yeah me and you Molly just both

rewatched Christmas vacation I've now seen it twice in one month and how did you feel about it upon rewatching it I loved it yeah I enjoyed it the second time yeah I mean

it's got its dip It's got its moments where you're just like, okay, well, let's kind of move along. Let's move along. But the biggest thing was the parents showed up two weeks before Christmas. I know. Jesus Christ. And they are all stanked. That was like, I like this movie because it really establishes the entire month of December as like full on holiday season.

Yeah, Christmas. Holy fuck. Hallelujah. That rant that he has really, I mean, it's so good. It's so good. I mean, it's, you know, repurposed from whistling zippity dood out of our assholes. Yeah, it is a good movie. I know I was a bit of a scrooge about it a couple weeks ago,

but it is a very fun, like the little advent calendar. Ding, ding, ding, ding. It reminds me so much of childhood. Like, I must have watched that movie every year. And it's so sad, like, especially just Doris Roberts, man, 2016, got her. But, you know, I did see her in another, I think it was called Mary King. Christmas, I believe, where she was making out with some dude in an elevator. And it was filmed last year.

She looked like she was on death's doorstep, but she just kept making this guy kiss her under the mistletoe because there was mistletoe in an elevator. Is she the grandma who brings the cat poop in the cell? Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, wait, no, no, no, she's the mother. She's, she's, what's her name? She's, what's her name? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What else was it?

No, she's the wife's mother. The wife's mother? What else was she? in. Oh, everybody loves Raymond. Yeah, yeah, the mom from Everybody Loves Raven.

Boy, all of those parents are dead now. Oh, yeah. Yeah, Peter Boyle, too. Mm-hmm. It's rough. It's sad. And really quickly,

and we'll get back to Christmas, but, I mean, the person that's been on the death watch for the entirety of page seven died this week, Jaja Gabor. True. I was like, wait,

Jack Nicholson died. We had two that's been on the death. wish or the death not the death wish no the death list for uh the in all of the years that we've been doing this show yeah jaja aga board dead at 99 99

99 good for her yeah that is a good for I don't know how she fucking did it I mean she wasn't looking the best but she wasn't looking the worst I mean she showed up and it was the first time that a death blind item came true

she showed up about two weeks ago uh on the death door line item list. And she finally shuffled off of this mortal coil just a couple of days ago on December 19th. She lived a full life. Truly so. I mean, I think we should all be so lucky.

And I feel like my knowledge of, she's just always like a kind of like mysteriously slash terrifyingly sexy famous lady in my head. Oh, yeah. I think that's what she was besides the minor singing. She was just a debitant that said, darling a lot.

Yeah, she's just. Famous for being real sexy and, like, kind of mouthy, right? I just want to be that. Yeah, you're already known as that. I feel like you're well on your way. I want to have a very similar bio to Zajajabur when I die. Yeah, Jackie was most famous. She loved many, but let few into her heart.

Famous for being quite loud and showcasing her breasts wherever she went. I got to get these puppies out. I'm going to button my shirt right now. All right, they're out, guys. Are you ready? Back to Christmas, I tried taking your recommendation, Jackie. I tried watching the Santa Claus. God damn, it's depressing.

It starts off so, so amazing. Like, it starts off with a fight between divorced parents. And the kids just sitting there sad, wishing that he was still hanging out with his douchebag, like his mom's douchebag boyfriend. Christmas at the pound. The Christmas at Denny's. The divorced dad, Danys, that's when we said, let's watch Christmas vacation. This is too sad. That's what the 90s were about, though.

Everyone divorced in the 90s. Yeah, and we saw it played out before our very cultural eyes. Yeah, in Christmas movies. Keep divorce out of Christmas movies. But it is a big part of Christmas, Marcus. Where do the kids go on Christmas? I know it's a big part of Christmas. But do you have to remind the kids that their parents are divorced?

Yes. burrow it into their brains They didn't forget It's their fault No matter what the parents say It's their fault Charlie was so annoying You really think that didn't have a big part

And not, why do you think Tim Allen didn't want to go home Why do you think he worked all the time? Did you see that? I think somebody posted in the group Charlie grew up to be I'm going to say mildly attractive But the article was like

Oh, he's really hot right now He's not hot I think he's a bit of a plain Jane, actually. Yeah, that it plays in a mediocre rock band. Oh, what's the rock band called? I forget. I looked at it.

And I started listening to her. I was like, nah. But I did look all the way through. I was like, ooh, Charlie's hot. And then I was like, eh. It's like there's a lot of articles about how Aaron from Full House is hot now, and he's not. No. He's like Twink hot, though.

Yeah, he's fine. Yeah. And then that other guy, who's also from Full House, that other child, the blonde one, who also played Wally in Little Rascals movie. He's also. Um, see, I'm more into the Nevels. Like Neville Longbottom. He got hot.

I think you meant like Aaron Neville. No. Oh, no. I love you. I love an Aaron Neville. Ooh, get me a slice of that for Christmas. No, Neville Longbottom, now he grew up to be hot. Who's that?

In Harry Potter. Oh. In the movie. I mean, that's all. Like even in the books, I think they allude to the fact that he grew up better than what he used to look like. Yeah, I showed a picture of him right now. From what he used to look like, Marcus? The one right above it, yeah.

He got much more, he's more attractive than he was as a child. Yes. I think that is, I think as we have established on the show that attractive children usually grow up to be unattractive, vice versa. Unattractive children grow up to be attractive. Look at me. I had some rough years No yeah I had many monkey years Yeah

I did not I was a late bloomer Yeah We all were here on page 7 Late bloomers one and all Now I do Guys I've been really excited to talk about this And I have some big things to say

I might be a new flip-flopper I think I'm against to Mariah Carey now. Why? I'm sorry, guys. I'm sorry. I watched Mariah Carey's Marriest Christmas special.

It is on Netflix. It came out last year. Why did you do that? Because I just wanted to see because it kept popping up because we've been watching all these Hallmark Christmas movies. And we watched it.

I don't know. Guys, I don't know. What is it? What is it about it that turned you off? It is. Well, because it's just basically her singing and then there's like a weird through line of like,

Santa, who's played by, I think he's, you would know him if you saw him, he plays like fat character guy on like small, oh no, he's Mike from Mike and Molly. Oh, yeah. And he, it's like he's playing Santa and he can't get there in time. But Siri is a huge fan of Mariah Carey, so Siri helps him get past the traffic. Oh, my God. To get there on time. And she goes, me, Mariah Carey?

Oh, my God. And Mariah Gary is so dead on the inside. Yeah. And so no Christmas spirit was within her. You can tell I think that she hates. I think she lives in a straight jacket, hold up somewhere until Christmas comes around. And they unfold her. Yeah.

And they say, you must sing the song. And she kind of sings the song. And I think that she hates it. Oh, how could she not? But it's what you're known. I mean, you're known for other things. but girl, you've got to change it up. She can't sing the way she used to,

and in it she was singing, but she, like, I know those songs. I listen to her Christmas album is amazing, but she just can't sing it the way she used to, and Doug and I are talking, it's like, most musicians, if they're known for hitting those notes, or doing the, and you can't do it anymore, switch it up. Yeah. Do something else, change your image, but she's not.

She just won't do it. I would say Mariah Carey's definitely a woman that lives in 1997. Yeah, she has never changed her image. Yes. Yeah. And then I watched the carpool karaoke of her singing all I want for Christmas is you, because I love carpool karaoke. It's the James Corden thing where they get, he gets, I mean, the Adele one is amazing.

The Adele one is the best. They're all really good, though. Michelle Obama one is also quite good. So they had her on to sing all. And he's like, Mariah, what do you want for Christmas? She's like, well, James, I guess what I want for Christmas? And she's sitting up, like, she's so obviously on Christmas. comfortable because her breasts aren't out enough.

And she's like, I guess I want you to sing my song. All I want for Christmas is you. And so they start to sing it together. And what they did is it, which was very smart, because obviously she wasn't into it and they knew that she wasn't going to want to do it. So they had had every singer who has been on over this year sing the song with James Corden. So they interspice everybody else singing the song because she just can't do it anymore. She was so sad to do it.

And she was just her eyes. Where's the spark? Nothing. I think I can't do it anymore, guys. I think I'm off the boat. I mean, she hasn't had a spark in a long time. Yeah. I know.

I've been holding on, though. Yeah. I mean, her peak was definitely butterfly. Yes. Yeah. That's a long. I mean, I think that was her first album. Maybe her second album.

It's not a peak as so much as a one point and then just a slow dissension. But the Mariah Carey's Merry is Christmas. special is also promoting the movie that she directed and starred in with Lacey Chabair. You would also know if you saw her because her mouth is half the size of her face

who was also in the special and it's all about they had people interviewing the people that were in the movie being like, we loved working with Mariah. She just lets an actor be an actor, which means she didn't direct anything. She didn't do fucking jack shit for the movie.

And I just, and now gotta find the movie. Yeah. It's out there. No, I guarantee it's out there. I bet I could find it. I don't know if I want to though. Yeah.

I was thinking to you and that, Mariah Carey and that song because I also last week watched Love Actually as this annual tradition. And I never thought to ask you, do you hate the scene where the little girl sings? Yes. Mariah Carey.

Yes, I do. And especially when it looks over, it's also like kid love too. Yeah. When like the kid, looks over at him and he's like, and you, and like the kid's like, beams and she goes, and you, and then he gets so sad and I'm happy he's sad. Oh, of course, yeah, children don't know love.

Liam Neeson, what are you doing, dragging him to the airport? Yeah, no, he never should have gone to the airport. And Butterfly is Mariah Carey's sixth album. Whoa. So it was a peak. Yeah, yeah, that was definitely a peak. Yeah, and that's what I bet, 1997. That is the year that Butterfly came out.

1997 was a great year for pop music. I've said it before and I'll say it again. For pop music, yeah. It was absolutely great. for rock music pretty awful. Pretty awful. There was a lot of Matchbox 20. Yeah.

I want to push you around. I will. Well, I will. Yeah. Is that Californication though? Is that the year? Is that 97? California occasion was 99.

Oh, okay. Yeah, 99 or 2000. I have to think in terms of like 97 and 2001, I can usually tell which songs came out what year because I just have to imagine in high school. Like if I was a freshman, junior, because, yeah, I think, yeah, California,ication, 99. I was junior in high school. All right. Yeah, 1997 was, uh, it's rare, but I must be lonely.

I mean, who doesn't love a good, solid Matchbox 20 song? Oh, man, I went and saw, when I was in high school, I was trying to hook up with this girl, so I went to Matchbox 20, Everclear, and Lifehouse. Oh, I loved Lifehouse. Hanging by a murmur and you with you do. You're not all I'm held until. I'm trying to until you make me blow. Linging by a morm and you with you.

I love the lifehouse. Yeah, and I was not happy. I'm pretty sure I ruined the concert for one woman because I was going with my cousin as well. and about halfway, I would say two songs into Matchbox 20. I said, fuck it, I don't care. So me and my cousin just started making fun of Matchbox 20. And this woman turned around that was sitting in front of us, turned around and said, You're ruining it.

Oh, that's so sad. And that's when I was like, okay, I'm sorry. I'll stop. I'll just go. I'll just go. How was Everclear, though? Everclear was actually, they were actually really good. Yeah, the lead singer.

had a transmitter attached to his guitar, and so he ran around the state, like ran around the mezzanine in the arena, like, playing guitar. He was, they were actually really fantastic. Yeah. I would put them among top 20 performers I've ever seen. Wow. I guess top 20 is a lot, though.

I've seen hundreds of bands live, yeah. So I think top 20 is pretty good. All right. Yeah. I'll take it. Good for Everclare. Yeah. Yeah, good forever, clear.

Didn't they do well? They're probably still making money off their music somewhere, right? I think a lot about what the bands that I listened to in the late 90s are how they're doing financially. Yeah. Now, smash mouth I hear is not doing all that great. That's fine. I'm fine. I read a story the other day of a guy that saw smash mouth and a used car,

parking lot in the middle of summer and they started playing like and there were just people in the crowd yelling play the Shrek songs and the big fat lead singer had a heat stroke in the middle of it so they carded him off while the band just played instrumental versions of All-Sar. There is really not a lot of instruments going on at all-star. Yeah, because you know why they did that? Because they had a contract to fulfill. They needed money that bad where their lead singers getting carted off to the ambulance, but they needed that like $2,000 that they got paid so bad that they just kept playing. Man, he should just be a guy Fieri impersonator. He should be a guy.

In my head, they're interchangeable. You know, the thing about the instrumental, though, is that probably anybody who cared enough to show up at an all-star concert could have just the whole audience could have sung it. That's what the story said is that everyone, Turned into like a big group effort. But half-heartedly. But now you're an all-star.

It's a game on. Go play. Hey. Where's the donkey? So hot. Actually, Guy Fietti calls Steve from Smashouth, his brother from a different mother. There's actually a picture of the two of them together. Mediocrity in a celebration.

Mediacrity. Oh, man. Would you even put. smash mouth to mediocrity. Yeah, no, they're one step below mediocrity. 15 years ago, yes. Who's better? Smashmouth or Sugar Ray?

Oh. Ouch. I'm going to say Sugar Ray. Every morning. There's a fan of it. Oh, my God. It's my boss. As from a beach town, I would choose Sugar Ray.

Yeah. If I had to choose one, that's tough. Because I think, musically, I would choose Sugar Ray, which is a disgusting thing to say. But nostalgia was, I remember, I was in eighth grade when fucking All-Star came out. And I always thought it was, I was always a big dick about it. And I thought it was a stupid song. But, like, all my friends loved it and reminds me of, like, some fun times in eighth grade.

Yeah. If I had to choose to listen to, like, if I had to listen to one song for the rest of my life, and I had to choose between Fly by Sugar Ray or All-Star by Smashmouth, I'd choose All-Star. Wow. See, I hate that song. I viscerally hate that song. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it.

It's a cold place. Mother's saying it's colder. You're bolding up now. Wait till you get older. But the media effects to differ. Judging by a hole in a satellite picture. Oh, I think it's getting pretty thin. Why are you getting warm so you might as well swim.

My world's on fire. How about yours? That's the way I like it and I'll never get bored. Wow. How do you guys know that? Because it's burned. Yeah. Burned into my brain.

That's nuts. I guess by the time that song came out, I was out of like kind of the pop music. Like it was just sort of like on the periphery. I knew it existed, but I didn't have to listen to it all the time. Yeah. That's insane. You guys know that so well. Wow.

It's either that or just add it. want to fly. Put your arms around me, baby. Put your arms around me, baby. No, I would choose All-Star over Fly. Wow. Yeah. No, I'm a fly. I'm a fly girl, I guess. Put some knee pads on me.

If someone wants to make a little poll on the Facebook page, if you had to listen to one song for the rest of your life, would it be All-Star or Fly? Please feel free. I want to see what the listeners think here. I think that's hell. I'm pretty sure that is hell. Everyone's just weeping and voting. I don't want to do.

Don't make me choose. Oh, and by the way, real quick, I want to say a special thank you to everybody out in Seattle and Portland who cheered when I said Who Here listens to page seven and the dozens of people who came up to me after the show that said they were huge fans of the show and loved the two of you guys. Thanks so much. That's awesome. Thank you, Seattle and Portland. We shall come back to see you soon. Yeah, I want to go. Marcus, I want to go.

Speaking of which, it's time for the last. Who's on the list? Marcus, got to have that list. Famous people with scoliosis. Oh, perverture of the back they have. Sarah Michelle Geller. All right. Does that mean, but then they have to wear the braces, right?

Well, I think you have to wear the brace when you're a kid. Oh, but I think an older age, you just have to do it. She runs on a treadmill and does Pilates to help with her scoliosis. Well, she would do that anyway. I don't think that counts. I don't think everybody who has scoliosis has to wear the brace. God, I had a friend who had to wear the brace through middle school. Rough.

Rough. Oh, that's really rough. Oh, yeah, she got made fun of every day. Because you think you can't see it through the clothes, but you can see it through the clothes. But it won't hold you back. Usain Bolt was born with scoliosis. Oh, my God. How does he run?

He fails. He's the fastest man ever. Damn. Yeah, I love watching Usain Bold. Yeah. Ooh. Yeah, he's crazy. Yeah, he'll laugh at the guys that he's behind.

He'll actually turn around and laugh. He should. He should. Yeah. At that point, you're allowed to you. You're the fastest man in the world. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Rebecca Romaine Stamos. Oh. Is it, or is it just Romaine now? It's Romaine now, but I didn't know if I didn't put the Stamos on, you'd be like, Rebecca, Romaine. Who's that? It's Stamos. She's the sexy blue girl.

That was the only part of the, I mean, that I really remember. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, she was the sexy blue girl. Mystique. Mystique. Yes, it's her... Yeah, sexy. I feel bad that she's just always

Jesse's wife to me. Not anymore. I know, but I, like, don't think of her own career. I mean, she really... She was the model, though. Yeah. So we don't know anything about that. I mean, come on.

I mean, do we really think of Kelly Preston is anything other than John Trau's wife? No. Troops. That's a troops bomb right there. Elizabeth Taylor. Wow. She was born with scoliosis.

I wonder. I wonder if it's worse if you're sucking cock Like does that make it worse? Like should you not bend over? I imagine she has sucked a lot of cock in her day. Or maybe she was she didn't. No, no, no. Maybe she didn't.

And she didn't. That's why she was married eight times. You know? Oh. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, we have fun. You were too proud of that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Whoa. Whoa. Kirk Cobain.

Severe scoliosis. In fact, some say the scoliosis combined with the stomach ailment that he had was why he was into heroin so much. That's why. Although some argue that the stomach pain was the result of the heroin use. Yeah, and I think existential despair was probably the main driver.

It was a driver. mostly the scoliosis. You just go back and re-listen to the Nirvana can and just think about scoliosis instead of like angst and sadness. My back is curved. I'm so sad about it. My bag is hanged my back.

That's good. Thank you. Chloe's 70. Your big love girl. I like her so much in the first season of Big Love. She is so bitchy. Cany. Yeah, but I like it.

Oh, yeah. It's the tight braids fault. Yeah. Anyone that has their hair that tight has issues. Yeah. I'll agree with that. Just all people. Yeah.

You can't have tight hair. No, it just makes your eyes dumb. You know? It's just like, how do you deal with anything? All I would think about is my hair is too tight. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Daryl Hannah. Splash.

Splash, kill Bill, all that. Scoliosis the whole time. That's what I keep thinking about with all these damn mermaid blankets. Everyone's like, look, I want to be a mermaid. Like they're doing, like they have the mermaid blankets now. Yeah, well, yeah, there was a, Goop was selling a mermaid blanket. The mermaid blankets are everywhere. I need my legs to be free.

Yeah. How do you even play a mermaid? I wouldn't want to. It's a blank, it's like a little sleeping sack you put on your legs? It's a sleeping sack for your legs, yes. And it's like, oh, keep you feet in. No, I need freedom. Yeah.

I would cut holes at the bottom of it and be like, I'm half a fish. Half woman. Yeah, but then you're just wearing pants. Ooh. With a big fin hanging down between the legs. Jackie's looser. I like my diaper fin pants. Liza Minnelli.

Maybe that's why she drank so much. I like blaming everything. It's because of the scoliosis. Hey, we're doing it, man. Liza Minnelly. Kelly, Kirk Cobain, scoliosis. Scoliosis. Yeah.

You know, bless their heart. Yeah. I like Liza Minnelli. Mm-hmm. For the rest of development. Well, I like Judy Garland, and I feel like she is really, really did not fall far from the tree, you know.

Man, my mom met Judy Garland when she was a child. She met her backstage. Like, my grandfather brought her to some show. She met her, and she remembered specifically that she was so pilled up and drunk that she could barely stand. And then you would watch her go out on stage and she would be able to perform.

And she was like, she had never, she was such a big fan of the Wizard of Oz that like my mom was broken. Yeah. And it's like, that's a great story. That's so fun, huh? Yeah, I feel like it was, Judy Garland was always like a,

because you know, I loved my 1940s tap dancing films, but it was always like an opportunity to be a cautionary tale. Like, and that's why you don't get all fucked up on drugs because there's like, you know, some of those movies, she's like clearly like propped up. and still singing like a

fish beautiful fish Yo-yo Ma Yo-yo Ma Chellist Yes, the famous cellist had surgery to correct his scoliosis when he was 25

Why do we know about yo-yo-ma Because he's like the best cellist Yeah, he's just a really good cellist Still? Like, does he still chel? As far as... As far as I know, he chels daily Wow

But it is like we don't know every most famous concert band or orchestral instruments. He must be really good at marketing himself. Yeah, we know Yo-Yo. Well, he had some good albums. I think in the 90s people had that weird moment where they were really into classical music

and really in like Gregorian chant. Remember when the Gregorian chants was really big? Not my thing. Yeah, I mean, not our thing, but it was weird that it was big. I guess people were looking for something. Yeah. No.

Enya was also that time, so I think people were really looking for something. Yeah, that was during that same, like, shitty country resurgence. right? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, just when everybody collectively decided to have horrible

taste in music. Don't tell my heart. My achy, breaky heart. I refuse. I did you see, did you see the video of Miley Cyrus

and Dali Parton singing Jolene? And pentatonic. Oh, we hate pentatonics. But how do you feel about that? They did a good job. They were fantastic. If they just,

if pentatonics weren't there? Uh-huh. But Miley Cyrus and Dali Pardtontontonin singing Jolene beautiful. The thing is, Miley Cyrus has a good damn voice. She does have a good voice. Good voice.

Yeah, yeah. She has an amazing voice. I mean, she was forced to. But I hate her father with every fiber of my being. And Pentatonics just came out with a song. Doug likes to torture me, and we watch every new Pentatonics video

that comes out, and they did an Okum All You Faithful that was like Caribbean-themed. Oh, I heard that. I just kept expecting them to be like, Dalet me Banah. What do you do? Just sing the fucking song.

Laura Dern. Jurassic Park. She'd say everything that I know from. Jurassic Park. Blue Velvet. Oh yeah, blue velvet. I had a friend who was like insanely sexually attracted to her to a point that he had like posters of her. And I get it.

How did he get a hold of a poster of Laura Dern? It was a Jurassic Park. It was a Jurassic Park poster. The one person who's ordering posters of Laura Dern. Yeah. She's probably nice. But there were never any Jurassic Park posters were all just dinosaurs. Who was doing the Laura Dern Jurassic Park poster?

No, there was one. It was one with Laura Dern and... I get it, though. The shorts that she wore in Jurassic Park were pretty fantastic. I mean, she is sexy and I just, I never thought of her as like a sex symbol. Yeah. So, I mean, that is nice. Isn't that for her?

Yeah, nice of that guy to be obsessed with Laura Dern. Yeah, there was that moment when she was running after the Raptor attack and she was running, and she saw Sam Nealone. and she started running. She goes, run. And then she started running towards him, and you can see her butt the entire way. And she's got the wife beater on the whole time, right?

I'm sorry. What is it? A shirt. A shirt. I honestly forget that it's called something. The second I said wife beers, I'm not supposed to say wife beater anymore. Yeah, that was a long time ago.

It's just all I know it is. Yeah, no, I hear you. It's taken me years to incorporate A shirt into my vocabulary. It's just weird because I don't even see it as a bad thing to say because it's just like, oh, that's just, I don't even think of the connotation of it. No wonder she's sexy if she's wearing a shirt. It's my favorite type of shirt.

Yeah, she was wearing it. Flatters everybody. All right. Ah! Oh, we're getting corralled. Blind Adams! Oh, yes, see you! Oh, this next one, listen to this.

This comes from a source that once shared a hotel with this may be A-list actress. He alleges that although they were fairly far apart in location, he could still hear her, and she was getting freaky with it. He said, it sounded like she was being murdered. Got to give us a little hint. Big eyes.

Angelina Jolie? He said it's a miracle. No one called 911. Wow. And who was the other guy? Who is the... Just Angelina Jolie fucking someone. Okay.

But she was screaming and yelling like she was getting murdered. I just feel like, I mean, she probably was in pain because she has no meat on her bones. that anything grinding up against her is probably painful. I don't know. She strikes me as somebody who just like really goes with it and is like performatively. Well, performatively or just really fucking passionate. Although having, you know, had my share of roommates over the years, whenever somebody is really loud, I'm like, okay, you don't have to do that.

Right. You're being too much. Yeah. Right. Like I get in the moment, you want to make your noise, fine. But like sometimes it's, Angelina could either be she's just that. passionate or she's just that performative, you know? I feel like she, like, gets into the maleficent head when she has sex now.

Oh! Wah! She's just, get the girl! This next one, I think you'll actually like this. With her career faltering an album sales not doing well, this former A-plus list singer has reached out to the one named aging permanent A-list singer to try and make amends. If the career was doing well,

there is no way she would do this. Is this the Mariah Carey Demi Lovato thing? Not Demi Lovato. Ariana Grande. One name. Rihanna? Close. She don't like...

Bay? Bay? No. Bay. Mariah Carey reaching out to Bay. Oof. Ouch. Oh, and that's why they had that picture together. That's why they had that picture together because Mariah Carrie went to kiss the ring. Whoa.

Ouchy, wouchy, out. Man, I bet she wants nobody to know that. Oh, can you imagine being Beyonce and having to just be like, polite? No. No, no, I won't do this. You and your breasts can turn around and get out of here. The breasts that don't move and all she does is show of them. Yeah.

Yeah, because, I mean, say whatever you will feel about positively about Mara Carey. I don't have those feelings, but I respect people who do who think that she's very good, but she is just not in even the same universe to Beyonce and I feel like that would be a very awkward meeting. If it happened in 97 though, or 96

was it? 97, butterfly. Yeah, I feel like then that would have been fun. Yeah. Was Destiny's Child first coming on the scene in 97? I think so, right? Yeah, I think maybe 98 possibly. Also, you should be listened. The Destiny's Child Christmas songs are

a lot of fun. Oh, yeah? I will tell you that. Okay. On the first day at Christmas, my baby gave to me something, something, and a diamond ring. And it's like all about like, yeah, it's all about awesome, sexy, grand gestures. Is it on your Spotify? It is. And remind me of the name of your Spotify Christmas? Suck my Christmas. Thank you.

Oh, and if you guys are looking for a new Christmas song for your last minute Christmas playlist, at the end of this episode, we're going to be playing the brand new cowman single. I'm not coming home for Christmas this year. I fucking love this song. I know that I'm biased, but it has been stuck in my head ever since I heard it. It's extremely catchy. We're very proud of this one. I put it on my Spotify playlist.

Yay, I'll put it on my Spotify playlist. It's really, really good. Oh, yeah, Destiny's Shop, first album, 1998. All right. Really? Yeah, sold almost a million albums. But the writing's on the wall, 1999. 6.4 million albums sold.

Whoa. Up like a star. And finally, it's this one features y'all's boy. You love them. I know how much you love them. Let's see if you like the woman he's bedded this time. The first few days of filming have been intense. This married foreign-born movie actress,

who is an Academy Award winner slash nominee, and her foreign-born A-minus list, dual-threat actor, TV and movies, have been very touchy, Shealy. He's always up for fun, whether he has a girlfriend or not, and she doesn't seem to be holding back either. Lots of sparks. Wait, now I'm a little bit.

I thought I was going to know who was. And I also thought the first person you're talking about was a man. And so I thought he is a man. Oh, okay. I thought Idriselba. I was like, who do Jackie and I both love? And you're right. It is Idrisalba.

And who is, and do we know who the lady is? The lady. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Red-headed. Dool. Yeah. He's the duel.

She's the movie actress. She's a redhead Been around for a little while First got really big Around the Time is all the Destiny's Child stuff Late 90s She was in one of the biggest movies Of all time

Kate Winslet I need Jersalba Whoa He gets around man Oh and she's beautiful Damn I've definitely been a trite to her since Titanic Oh my God she is sexy Good for

Huh Wasn't she made She got divorced? Yeah, she got divorced. Oh, yes, please. What I really respect about Idris, Alba is he doesn't go for, like, super young girls or anything like that.

He goes for, like, he goes for classy, talented ladies. Yes, oh my God, he's perfect. Yeah, wow. I'm good at what I do, Idris. You should give me a call. I'm not too young. I think you're too, I think y'all are too young.

No. He's into women in their 40s, 40s, 50s. 40s, 50s and 60s. Oh, good for him. Merrill. Yeah, that's great for him. Honestly, that's fine. If 30 is, if I, if he's going to make me feel young at 30, then God bless you even more, Ederselba.

Yeah, and the movie they're working on is called The Mountain Between Us. Will watch it. Oh, my God. Will watch it. Jesus. Man, that's, I didn't think it could get better than Idris and Meryl Street. I'm born he just thinking about it. Idris and Kate Winslet is like, that is. That is, she might be,

she definitely is in my top five favorite, like beautiful and talented and lovable actresses, definitely. And she is just so classy. So classy. Ooh, and they're both British? Ooh. Ooh. Ooh.

Yeah. All right. Well, that's all the blind items we got. But you know what? It's time for our other annual Christmas tradition. Yes. Yes. Yes.

I wasn't going to ask because I wasn't sure if we had moved on. Oh, we will never, ever, ever move on from, I think you might like it. Boots, scooo. Yeah. For those of you who are our new listeners to page 7, every year we listen to the John Travolta, Olivia Newton-John, collaboration. I think you might like it. Filth in an airport.

Please do yourself a favor and look up this video while you're watching. Please do watch this video. It is, this is Olivia. Right now they're showing Olivia Newton-John, idling forward in a turquoise Chevy with a backseat full of fake gifts. A lot of jump cuts. It's a poorly edited film. Each other.

Not in an airport now. They're just in a hallway. No, there's a plane behind them, Molly. There's a plane behind them. In a parking lot I think it was one of their houses, maybe? It's a plane in a parking lot. It's a plane in a parking lot.

No, remember it's the airport. Yeah, that's small airport. It's the tiny airport made out of cinder blocks. Because the whole thing is that he's got a gift and I think you might like it. It's a vague Christmas song. Yeah, because it's also about family and he does have some of John Travolta's real. It has his real family in it. And it's also about I'm coming home.

Yeah, there's some old people at the airport. There's some... It is just so fake and so shitty. You would really think that John Tra would have more money than this. I mean, Olivia Newton-John, I understand. She doesn't have a whole lot of cash. That's why I feel like she probably came to him with this idea. I think this might be a train station and not an airport.

No, but there's a big turbine behind them. There's a turbine. It just doesn't look like an airport at all. And that's my favorite part is that there's two soldiers that come home. One soldier has his family there. The other soldier doesn't have any family there. So the security guard gives them a hug. Oh, and then they're wearing their Christmas jammies.

And they're watching It's a Wonderful Live together. Which, frankly, I don't want them to watch it's a wonderful life. The soldiers do some boot scooting. It's just the boot scooting in this is so, I mean, just beyond some bar. Well, they do a boot scoot dance. Like, everyone in the video does. as a one-two-one-two boot scoot to bright, boot scoot to the left dance. And nothing more, no more choreography than that.

All right, well, that's it for this year's page seven. Happy New Year, everybody. Merry Christmas, happy holidays. Merry Christmas. Thank you all very much for spending this year with us. And we love each and everyone. Hell yeah, we'll see on the other side. I think you might like it.

Presents a wrap. This bottle's all gone. I've had an ass. Like the one you just listened to, go to cavecomedyradio.com.