Page 7 - Episode 192: The Oscars Edition
Episode Date: March 2, 2017Marcus, Molly and Jackie recap the Oscars, including the big envelope mix-up, celebrate Daddy Day, and learn about which celebs collect the weirdest things. Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen ...to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Man, I know we got a lot of talk about, but we got daddies for you and daddy's for me.
We got daddies everywhere.
Daddy's screaming inside of me.
Welcome to page seven, everybody.
We got daddy screaming inside.
Creaming.
Oh, creaming.
Oh, yeah.
Not creaming.
See, I was thinking a daddy screaming while he's creaming inside.
Oh, that's nice, too.
But he has to cream inside of me for the daddy to be a daddy.
Oh.
No.
It's somebody else's daddy.
Talking, you know, somebody else says, I'm my daddy.
I know, but it's just your, the way that you're saying it doesn't,
you're like, of course it's somebody else's daddy.
Just talking about daddy's creaming.
Why are you so grossed out?
Yeah, it's not a, is it like a daddy type thing?
Yeah, no, I mean, I don't know if you saw the dedication of February 24th, I believe,
is Daddy Day on the page 7 Facebook.
I will say that I learned about Daddy Day as,
not knowing what had led up to it or why that it had happened,
had a great honeymoon and just was suddenly inundated with daddy pictures in the group.
And I was like, well, something's going well.
This is fine.
I did not hear about Daddy Day.
Well, what do you turn the notifications off?
It's all daddies all the time.
We've only go on Facebook like once a week now.
Oh, I hear you.
The group has been 100% taken over by Daddy Pictures and it's perfection.
Well, now it's moving out.
And there's a whole separate group for Daddies now.
Really?
Yeah, because I think some people were getting upset about only daddies.
Invite me to the daddy group.
I'll go.
I thought it was great.
Is it men that just kind of have the daddy look like the, like rest in peace, Bill Paxton?
The big daddy?
Like the kind of like daddy kind of like.
Miss this house and miss that house and come right after you.
Daddy's like him, yes.
Me, Joe.
Me, Joe.
Oh, my God.
Yes.
Bill Paxson and Twister,
yes, yes, yes, me, my daddy,
my dead, dead daddy.
Just to be,
just, we need to talk about Bill Paxson, obviously,
but just to clarify the daddies,
it was a wide range.
Such a wide range.
It was like,
and I don't think it was limited to just people
who are, you know, have children.
It was just handsome men
who we wanted to call daddy,
I think was maybe, it was like,
it started with like silver foxes
and, you know,
and that,
and more explicit looking daddies,
and then by the end it was just like,
this man could be a daddy.
I want to have sex with him.
And then I would see the picture.
And then I would see the picture.
I would like to have sex with him as well.
I think the last one I saw was Tim Oliphant,
which I've been watching Santa Clarita diet.
So yes, yes, yes, daddy, daddy, daddy.
So you're inside of me.
That happened spontaneously.
It wasn't me.
I thought, see, I was like,
I must have missed something.
And in the episode you guys did while I was gone
or must have been like,
you must have declared Daddy Day.
No, that was totally organic.
It was, yes.
It was beautiful.
See, social movements start online, you guys.
And it was just everything.
I just needed it so much over this past few days, too.
It just wanted to look at hot, hot men.
Well, congratulations to everyone.
Thank you.
I felt good about it.
We just have so much to talk about it.
It's hard to know where to start.
Of course, the Oscars were last night.
One of the most talked about Oscars of all time, I think.
You know, of course, everyone knows what happened with the wrong envelope and all that.
And we do know now that what happened was a wrong envelope.
Although Faye Donaway did fuck up quite a bit.
Yes, and everyone's blaming Warren Beatty.
And poor Warren Beatty didn't do anything wrong.
No, he showed her the envelope be like, hey, check this out.
This is a problem, right?
Yeah.
And she just was like, yeah, I completely feel horrible for Warren Beatty.
I don't really feel bad at all for Fade Dunaway.
She isn't getting any of the heat, A, and B, yeah, she was just like, well, I see the words La La Land on it.
he's obviously being stupid.
I'll just read it or what,
I don't know what she was thinking.
Well, they're blaming Warren Beatty.
Warren Beatty didn't say anything.
He didn't say anything.
He didn't, he obviously knew something was wrong.
He didn't know what to do.
And yeah, I kind of interpreted the same thing.
I feel like he looked at Faye Downway to be like, is this right?
And instead she was just like, well, la la la.
Oh, stop being so bad.
La, la la.
Yeah.
Also felt so bad for Warren Beatty as well afterwards.
I mean, you know, it was a whole hubbub.
But then the guy, I don't remember his first name Horowitz,
that was giving his acceptance speech
and he rips the paper out of Warren Beatty's hand
and shows everybody that said Moonlight
but it wasn't his fault
It wasn't his fault at all
At all. Not even close
And you know I actually
I really respect to Warren Beatty for like not
just kind of shuffling off the stage
She's like no I'm going up to the microphone
I'm telling everybody what happened
I'm not going down like this
Yes I respect him for that too
And I would have wanted to save face as well
And I'm glad that he did
But there was also like I feel like as that was happening
All of the Moonlight people are coming
and celebrating and like poor Warren Beatty's just like it wasn't me
it wasn't me and it's like I just want to be like honey I know this you're in a
horrible situation right now but you got to like literally moonlight just had like a
six minute delay from the and now and then like they got to give their I mean and
their acceptance speech was great and he was the director was obviously just like oh my god
I just felt so bad for Warren Beatty standing there and being like I wasn't trying to make a
joke yeah I wasn't trying to be fun
which was actually very fun.
I don't know if Warren Bady ever really was trying to be funny, ever.
Bullworth.
Sure, sure, sure.
But, I mean, it was interesting that they also had Shirley MacLean on giving, presenting an award as well.
Man, they're going, guys, guys, they're going out.
They're going out.
Shirley McLean looked, she must have had a stroke or something.
And I hated it because the people I were with were making fun of how she was speaking.
And I immediately went to like the, I was like, don't.
make fun of her.
Yeah, don't make fun of old people.
She obviously probably,
she seems to have had a stroke or something
and I was,
I was like in tears that she was the way that she was.
She's old.
She's very old.
Faye Donnoe was looking pretty great.
She was looking pretty good.
Yeah, she did great.
And she obviously, I think that she,
I don't know, I don't mean to peddle conspiracy theories.
There's obviously going to be a lot in response to this.
But I think, did she just, like,
what did she do?
Did she say, well, I'm going to disregard the fact that it says Emma Stone,
and I'm just going to say La La Land.
See, I looked at the envelope.
Emma Stone is written really small.
La La Land is written really big.
I think she just glanced over.
It was like, oh, Warren's being bad.
He's always being so bad.
Okay.
She just looked at it, glanced over, saw La La Land in really big letters.
It's like, all right, La La Land.
Okay.
Because that's good.
That's fine.
I was like, because if you saw Emma Stone, like, how could, like, that's not a movie.
They're also 100,000 years old, though.
Yes, and they're alive and they're in front of a bunch of people.
Yeah, and she just thought it was a screw-up, so she just wanted to get done.
And it's never happened before, so it's not like they were prepared to be like,
oh, maybe they gave us the wrong card.
But.
I'm going to say 10 people got fired because of this.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
At least.
Yeah, and there's a lot of blame to be going around.
Some people are blaming the new design of the cards this year.
It's that apparently the cards have been the same for years and years and years.
And this year, the Academy decided.
to do a different design, and apparently this design, is harder to read because it's gold
letters on a red background, so it doesn't pop out as much as it does. So there's a lot of
envelopes being handed out because, you know, people come out from both sides. Each person
gets an envelope handed on each side, and they just had an extra best actress one over there.
Best actress is right before Best Picture. They accidentally handed them the best actress or the
best actress envelope instead of the best picture envelope
and that's when he opened it up and was like oh
shit and I man I could imagine there's like two people
backstage being like I think I handed him the best actress
yeah oh fuck you handed him the wrong I don't know yeah I don't know if I did
I might have I don't know I think I did but you can't just fucking go out there no
I can't go out there right now yes go out there I can't go out there I can't go out there
this is the exact play I've been having in my head all day imagining those poor
bastards who were like and and I
hadn't thought about the moment leading
up to when they announced it but I keep thinking
about the moment after as the La La La Landcast
is going up to the stage and the people
who are back there then being like
fuck! Fuck! Oh no! What are you going to do?
We got to go and stop up!
I read a whole article about it.
There was a reporter that was back there that
watched him. He's like, I've never seen so many people
go into action at one time
because all with the headsets and they immediately stood
up and they just like went into
mood. They just like started moving.
They just knew that they had to stop it.
And when you watch it again, that guy with a headset goes out
and he takes the old envelope and gives them a new one.
And those poor, I mean, I feel like, you know,
I think it's wonderful that Moonlight One.
And I feel bad that they didn't get to just, like,
be announced and have their speech and win and all that.
But I also, of course, feel for La La La Land to be standing up there
and then have a fucking guy with a headset come out,
rip the cart away, and then give you the new one.
And, like, realize what's happening?
off that would have been
painful. I could tell what was going on
when they were up there
and I suddenly saw a guy with the
headset in the back. When I saw a guy with the headset
in the back I went, ooh.
I pointed, I pointed, just
as someone who works in like production and like
behind the scene stuff and all that, I was like,
you are not to be seen. Oh no. Oh, no.
Oh, what is this? What is this?
And I started like paw on it, carolina. You know,
like, what is it? What is happening? Oh, shit.
They picked the wrong one. It was
the wrong one and then he came out and said it's the wrong I was like called it
fuck yeah so the people I was with a similar thing they were like something's wrong because
they saw the guy with a headset and the people I was with I was with were like their like first
thought was like that something that like a security threat had happened or something because
this guy with a headset had run out and like and so they like the people like I was like packing up
the snacks I was like oh moonlight didn't win and like ready to get to like in bed like had my pajamas
and then everyone I was like, wait, wait, wait, something happened, something happened.
And yeah, they thought something like external had happened.
And then when they announced it, it was just like, I mean, I've never seen anything like that on
live TV before, ever.
Not since the titty at the Super Bowl.
Is anything on live television happen like that?
Not since Super Bowl teddy.
I will go ahead.
I mean, I'm throwing it out there.
It's not a celebrity gossip, but it is about the Oscars that I would say the awkward
moment that trumped that moment
was bringing all of the
bus of people of the
tourists to go see
the famous people and
we are the lowly and
we're with the famous people
we're creatures of the night
keep us in the dark but look
famous people
I thought that was such a
disgusting display and
I'm not talking about but like
just like if I was on that bus
I'd be like no I don't want to go there
No, no, no, I don't want to go in there
I'm dressed like a slub
I'm in front of all these people that are dressed to kill
I'm going to be a meme forever now
Yes, I just, I can't even imagine even wanting
I mean, I can't imagine being on a bus like that
in the first place, not that I'm against that
but I just, that, and I'm just so awkward
I was kind of charmed by it just because
Gary in the front was like so great
the guy who... Yeah, Gary from Chicago
Gary from Chicago. But what about when he, when Jimmy
Kimmel asked Jennifer Aniston
if she had anything in her purse to give
them.
Yeah.
And then you go,
your sunglasses,
it's going to be dark
out when you get out.
Give her your sunglasses.
Probably like $2,000 sunglasses.
Easily.
And I mean,
I know it's nothing to her,
but dude,
putting her on the,
that's fucking awkward,
man.
Yeah, that was awkward,
yeah.
Oh, should I throw out
a gold coin?
Maybe they can afford
a turkey
or a duck
to feed all of their
many children.
I thought it was just
pittance.
It's like bringing
in a jester.
Yeah, I hear you.
I was actually
initially charmed by it, but
I went into it ready to
just hate every single word that Jimmy Kimmel
said, because I'm not a fan of his, and I ended up
being really pleasantly surprised. I thought he had a lot of
great jokes. I thought he was great. He was great.
As far as Oscar, yeah, we didn't have high hopes at all,
and he really shattered expectations.
He was really funny. He towed the line
between, like, making some political
jokes, but not going too far, being too
like, me about it. Yeah, I was
super impressed, and so I think I was just in, like,
a good mood when that thing happened, and so
I was like, oh, this is cute. And I like, I really,
Gary's wife, when Jimmy was like,
who's your favorite actor?
And she was like, that man right there
and it was Denzel Washington?
That was really sweet, right?
And then he came up and said,
I now pronounce you husband, right?
Yeah, that was cute.
But you're right, it was very much like,
look at these regular people in their sweatshirts.
It was, suckers.
I thought it was, and then they just got him out of there,
got him out of there, just like,
don't look at them, don't talk to them anymore.
You've done your bit?
Get back into your cage.
I wondered, I just sat there wondering,
like, where did they shuffle those people off to?
Like the lobby?
Did they take them back to the bus and get like, all right, go back to your fucking Honda Civic, you piece of shit?
It had to be.
I guess.
It was just very, I don't know.
I didn't enjoy it.
Yeah, I hear you.
But there were a lot of parts.
I love the candy from the sky.
Yeah.
The dresses were phenomenal.
Yep.
Donnell Monet's dress, Lord have mercy.
Pretty grave dress.
Once you see her in moonlight too, man, I just want to spread her on some toes.
I cannot wait.
I cannot wait in every way to see moonlight.
But everyone in that movie is so beautiful and handsome.
Yes.
And everybody looked great.
And good actors, Molly.
I'm sure, I haven't seen the movie yet.
I didn't know that Marhershal Elie is a beautiful man.
He is fantastic.
And I'm so used to being scared of him from House of Cards
that it's nice to see how nice he is.
That's right.
Yeah, I was going to suggest if you would like to see sex scenes with him, House of Cards.
Of course.
He's beautiful.
He's a super hot chick from, what is it, Deadwood.
Although I'm upset because I wanted to see him have sex with Janelle Monet in
Moonlight, but you don't get that.
Spoilers.
No sex. There's no sex between them. It's not
about them and their sex life.
Although I would watch it off shoot. I'm throwing
it out there.
Sequel to Moonlight.
The sequel to Moonlight, just their sex tape.
Moonlight 2 fucking.
Yes, please. She's just like singing
along and on the side row.
I love that song.
And I do, I thought her dress was amazing, but
I also would have been psyched if she had shown up in like
white tucks of like Janelle Moneda a few years ago.
How about how hot her, the fucking dude was she showed up with?
Yes.
Oh my God.
Yeah.
He was hot.
Yeah.
I was just hoping.
I was like, please don't say that's like a brother or something.
I just, again, just want to imagine her banging him.
Grabbing those dreads.
Just showing him a town.
He was a very pretty man.
How about all those, I want to say, you know, I'm not a fabric person, although you might
think that.
They crushed velvet suits.
Yeah, yeah.
Is it velvet?
Yeah, because the guy from the Today Show on the red carpet was wearing one.
And then he was talking to somebody.
The Rock.
Thank you.
You and I watched the same part.
Yes.
And they were all like.
You mean all of it.
You mean 100%.
Yeah, they were like, look at our velvet suits.
And I like an interesting tuxedo.
I like the ones with colors.
I love that the stranger things kids always wear like jewel-tone suits.
Oh, yeah.
That dude from Moonlight had an awesome tux.
Yes.
One of the screenwriters.
And all three, the three people who play the little boy, the medium one, and the adult, they were all wearing the same Calvin Klein.
And now they're model, not the little boy, but the older ones are underwear models for Calvin Klein.
Who did you look at those pictures?
Children and underwear?
It's not the little boy.
It's the older kids.
It's a teenager and the older one.
And then I believe it's.
I don't know what I was saying.
Montrearshal.
Ali.
Mahersha.
Mahershal Ali.
Mahershal Ali.
I believe he's in the...
Yeah.
In it as well.
Yeah.
They are...
I believe, but I know this.
Exquisite.
But yeah, all those...
The three versions of the main character
were all wearing, like, coordinated tuxes by the same design...
No, maybe they weren't Calvin Clan.
I'm wrong.
But they were all the same designer.
Which I thought was very charming.
But the velvet...
The velvet...
It could take her leave.
I like everything that the Rock does, but, except for some of the films that he makes.
But I like what he...
I like his vibe, you know, so I was fine with it.
I wore a lot of velvet in college.
Really?
I have not surprised to hear that.
I had a velvet jacket that I wore all the time.
What about pants?
No, no velvet pants.
I had some leather pants that I wore sometimes.
Yeah, I love you.
One of those moments where you and I have different reactions.
I had some weird weeks in college where I was like,
Like, I'll just try being a leather pants guy for a week.
That didn't work.
But I think you could pull it off.
You're skinny.
I think skinny guys in leather pants look great.
Lubbock, Texas, leather pants.
That doesn't work all that well.
I see.
But, you know, and it was a crushed velvet, though.
How about the dry heat?
Sweating on top, sweating on bottom for two different reasons, two different materials.
I don't know.
I can imagine you rocking both a velvet jacket and leather pants, but you would definitely
be like that guy, you know.
Yeah, I was absolutely that guy.
And I mean, everybody's talking about how great, and I'm not saying that are,
Her dress was not great, but I don't, I didn't really like Emma Stone's dress because I thought it was a whitewash.
Yeah.
I thought I could barely see where the dress ended, where she began, because she's so fair.
It looked like two different dresses popped together.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And there was a lot of swushy.
There was like two different people at least, maybe three, who had like swooshy layers, flappery layer, but it was like on long dresses, but those, you know, the fringes.
Yes.
I don't know.
I wasn't into, but what about pre-Larsons' dress?
Hachimachi, tamagachi.
I like her.
I would do things to her,
but I'm not allowed to say that
because, which is also fucking awesome,
because I am now full on board.
I am completely changed woman from a month ago.
Fuck Casey Affleck.
But did you, I mean, now it's a big thing, too,
that they're talking about that Breed Larson did not clap for him.
She didn't clap, and did you see,
I read something today where she also gave him the Golden Globe.
I think it was the Golden Globe, maybe it's another award.
Because I think she won both.
Right.
Yeah.
And she didn't shake his hand that time.
I think.
So this is the second fucking time
that Brie Larson,
who was an advocate
for sexual assault survivors,
had to hand an award
to a dude who,
I read the details
of the allegations in this morning.
They're horrible
and also just so,
I can just imagine
absolutely that that happened.
It's like so typical
of like workplace
sexual harassment,
but also so extra
because of his fame
and all that.
And I, yeah,
and who his brother is
and who,
and having all that
that like he thought
that he could get away with it,
whatever,
yeah,
yag, yag, yuck,
yuck, yuck,
but.
But I don't like him, is what I'm saying.
He looked like a homeless man.
Well, he was a film in a role.
I know, but you can't give me a break.
You can judge that.
You can fill that shit in.
You can't even just, just trim the neckline.
Do something.
Because that's why makeup and hair people are the best people on earth.
Is that they can judge it to get it back to where it's supposed to be.
Give me a break.
There's a lot of jushin going on.
Give me a break.
Yeah, when he also just looked like, and his speech was so,
stupid he was just like oh it didn't put anything
it's like motherfucker you've been obviously
trying to get this award
ever since you were in this movie
which apparently is very good but whatever
he is very good at the movie I will give it that
however man how about those
fucking daggers that Denzel
Washington was throwing his way with the
tears in his eyes yeah he had tears
in his eyes he should not have run for
he should not have won for trading day
but fences his fences his
fences and he's great
in fences and he directed fences
and he produced fences and he did it on Broadway.
Give the guy the Oscar.
Yeah, yeah, I mean, right.
I haven't seen Manchester by the sea or fences,
but I might, yeah, I just,
and maybe Casey Falk acted the hell out of it
and deserves the award, but I just like, it's like,
you did a very good job, I just.
There should be consequences when you have serial harassed two people, you know,
and I don't know, I feel like that was very,
and specifically the fact that Bree Larson,
who was an advocate against sexual assault,
had to do it was real shitty, definitely.
But her dress, bomb.com.
I couldn't get.
She's beautiful. She's not only so beautiful,
but she looked like one of those like Hollywood 1950s Barbies.
I mean, it was just such a classic, beautiful fucking dress.
Have you seen room?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh.
Oh.
Hill.
Oh.
Yeah.
And watch short term 12 as well.
That's another one where you're just like, God.
Damn, she is a fucking firecracker, and I mean, I'm not going to say who,
but I know someone that's hung out with her very well,
and that she's just the chillest, coolest person of all times.
She seems that way.
That she's just extremely humble, just a normal person, and it makes me love her.
That's wonderful.
Speaking of things we loved, OJ Made in America won for Best Documentary.
I love it.
And I called that he was going to mention Nicole and Ron.
I mean, do you think it's taboo?
I thought it was a risky move, but it paid off.
I thought it was, I enjoyed it, but the people I was with was like, fuck him for saying that.
No, I mean, like for making it happen.
And I was like, but no, I think it was more of like a respect.
Oh, yeah.
It was a total respect.
Totally.
I mean, right, like, I still haven't seen the documentary.
It's also on my list for this week.
But you will only think O.J.
I'm only thinking OJ.
I only got to think OJ.
But, like, it's.
It is weird how, especially when, like, real, true crime, like, murder mysteries, things become really famous.
And then you forget that, like, two people actually died, you know?
And, like, I feel like just saying, like, by the way, this whole thing that everybody's cared a lot about for, like, 25 years, that was because, like, two people died.
And, like, let's talk about them and let's name them and recognize that that sucks, that they were killed.
I feel like that was actually like, oh, yeah, like, the story of OJ isn't just like, woo, woo, OJ.
It's like, yeah.
Although you will learn, girl, I am, I think, hour six into OJ made in America.
You ain't even thinking about OJ like that anymore.
With the environment of everything, oh my God, it's blowing me away.
How do I watch it?
What mechanism?
It's on Hulu.
Hulu, okay.
I mean, it is just, it's not even a, he's a thing.
Yeah.
It's crazy.
It's crazy how it changes how you feel about the entire, all of it.
Yeah, it's like how a person can be ruined with love.
and let themselves be ruined.
Like it's that like little soup that can be made.
Like on last podcast we talked about like this serial killer soup that gets made.
And O.J. Simpson was like, like, just turned into like this angry narcissist who had to get what he wanted and had to be accepted.
And how that ended in murder.
It's, I mean.
And he was a, yeah.
And also the soup of like just racial injustice and police brutality in L.A.
and how that turned into OJ being acquitted.
It became a stew of bad.
The soup became a stew.
We got viscous.
It got thick.
There were too many potatoes.
And then it was just like, I don't know what to do with it.
I don't know what to do with it.
Get rid of it.
It's just a picture of it.
You know what Rachel Ray?
No one likes potato soup.
This soup has too many potatoes.
Get rid of it.
You know what Rachel Ray calls a really thick soup?
It's disgusting.
A blue.
A blue.
Get ready.
She calls it a stoop.
I'm going to throw up.
And it's spelled S-T-O-U-P.
Oh, my God, it's a stew.
Oh, God, I put it on too long.
Oh, what, you know, it's fine.
We get a junkie stoop.
She calls it, but it's between a soup and a stew.
That's a stew or a soup.
You don't need to invent something that's in between.
It's a stew.
If it's really thick, it's a fucking stew.
If it's thinner, it's a soup.
You don't need to invent a third category.
Anyway.
Why, y-a-y-a-ya-a.
Oh, I feel like my brain is enundated with things that I want to talk about about the Oscars.
Merrill Streep's dress pants of it, loved it.
Yeah.
And there, how about Mel Gibson who knocked up a, what is she, 19-year-old?
She is a young person.
She's very, very, very young.
And also it's interesting because so many people, like in the beginning of the red carpet
where they come up and talk to the, you know, Good Morning America people, whatever,
they come up usually alone or they introduce the person they're with.
he went up with her.
He was the only one
that just had his arm around her,
did not acknowledge her presence.
She just stood there with this, like,
I was trying to watch her eyelids
to see if she was spelling out SOS.
Biggie it, like, with her winks,
I didn't know because it's like,
she's made out of plastic
and she's stuck in this.
Should we save her?
Well, he acknowledged her pretty much as an object,
like, because Michael Strayhan's like,
oh, doesn't she?
He's like, yes, she looks beautiful.
She just had a child.
Look at her.
Look at her.
But anyway, Hacksaw Ridge.
Fuck, man.
Yeah.
And at one point, somebody made a joke at Mel Gibson's expense,
and she laughed during the show, and she laughed,
and then, like, definitely, like, looked at him.
And he, like, it was just one of those things, you know,
like, little things like that.
Of course, you can read into it and project or whatever.
But she, like, I just remember noticing that she, like,
laughed really hard at one of the jokes that was at his expense,
and I was like, oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Poor woman.
He, his face, what's wrong with his face?
Why does he always look like he's got the same face as Eric Trump,
where it looks like he's like he's like he's like,
like frozen in like a like a grimace yes like somebody was like don't make that face too
longer it'll freeze that way he's just like ha ha I think you just heard what women
wanted for too long I can't take it yeah I'm like when did Mel Gibson yeah I don't know
that's another talk they're like I love Andrew Garfield a lot he looks really weird
Bradface I don't I shouldn't say I love him sorry his hair was about two inches away from
being Bram Stoker's Dracula.
Yes, and it's also, it's another neck issue
for me. I think I've got neck issues.
He's got a little neck? No, he's got a long neck.
He's got a long neck. He's got a giraffe neck. He's got
a kind of a small face. And he's got a rat face.
And so the problem is with tiny face,
he's an attractive van on paper. I'm not saying
that, but with tiny face with long neck
gives him rat features. He's a Josh Hartnet.
Definitely. Josh Hartnett is like
a beetle.
He's like, yeah, he's an overgrown rat.
I just, I thought that Andrew
Garfield was a fine Spider-Man.
No?
Okay.
I don't have fun.
I don't know.
I don't know.
He was fine.
He was fine.
He was okay.
Some people I know like him better than Toby McGuire.
I just never enjoyed the cut of his jib is really what it is.
I mean, he's British and he doesn't do American accents very well.
He's not British?
Yes.
And then he also did that weird.
And that's the thing with Haxar Ridge.
I did not see it.
I have seen like the trailer, seen the clips of it.
It's the southern accent, his fake southern accent that I could not watch for.
It is four two and a half hours.
I can't do it.
Awful.
And then he knows that I cannot kill a person.
You are not Forrest Gump.
I don't know what you're doing, but it wasn't for me?
I don't know.
I mean, to me, like, when movies...
Get a Southern person or get an American.
When movies like that get so many accolades,
it makes me watch them like, holy shit.
None of these critics have ever spoken to a Southern person once in their entire fucking life.
Because he sounds like a high school.
drama kid.
Yeah.
It was the same thing in the Scottish girl in no country for old men.
She sounded like a high school, she sounded like a high school sophomore overacting.
In Oklahoma.
In Oklahoma.
She sounded exactly like the girls that when I used to do one act play in high school,
she sounded just like all the girls overacting and steal Magnolia.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It was that same.
Doing a British accent for no reason.
It was that same, but it's like British people cannot do Southern accents.
They cannot do it.
It's just very different.
It's just a very, I mean, unless you study it, unless you were, I mean, like, I'm sure that it is possible.
This particular one cannot.
Oh, absolutely.
Well, maybe, I mean, I'm not saying British people can't do Southern access.
I'm sure there probably are some British actors who have done wonderful Southern accents.
I'm sure people will let me know.
But when a British person tries to do a Southern accent and, like, critics don't notice it, it really bugs the shit out of me.
Yeah, I totally hear you.
And it's not only the accent, but it's the whole vibe.
It's just like, I'm just a simple southerner.
I don't want him to keep no bow.
Oh, my war.
I want to, I ain't going to touch no gun, but I'll tell you right.
When I go to the war, I will save people.
I will not hurt that people.
Yes.
What do you say?
That's not, it's a forest gum syndrome.
I think that they just watch Forest Gum, they slap that on there.
It's like, he's a simple man.
We're not all simple down there.
And to me, like, you know,
You know, you guys have seen way more movies than me, and I shouldn't, I don't know.
You're allowed to contribute.
Yeah, I feel like there's like, watching last night, I was just like, there's just such a difference between a movie that, like, tells stories in the service of, like, really, like, bringing real people and characters and ideas to life.
And a movie that's just like, I'm a movie, you know.
I guess that's what, okay, so we were, we're watching, you know, the for best actress.
I'm not even saying this against Emerson
We talked about this last week
She did a fine job of the movie
It just wasn't it wasn't the meaty part
I thought she was miscast
I don't think that she should have been in that part
Yeah so that aside
You watch the clips of
Of them in the movies
Before they say who won
And watching her do that
I was like I could have done that
When I was 16 years old
There are a thousand
Easily women that could do that
exact thing that you just did.
Yes.
But the other roles were not that, and that's what upset me about it.
It's like, I'm not saying she did a bad job, but it was easy.
I mean, like the light singing, sure, the light dancing, sure.
Yeah, but when somebody said they were triple threat, I was like, no.
No, no, they're not.
They're not a triple threat.
And the other thing, I was talking with a friend about this yesterday.
I don't Viallo Davis, who's so close to being an egot, by the way.
But she can't sing.
That's fine.
But, oh yeah, if, okay, so this is another thing about Hollywood.
It's like, think about how many goddamn working actors are out there
busting their ass either on Broadway or trying to get on Broadway
who can legit act, sing, and dance.
And instead, you get two beautiful stars.
And Ryan Gosling is fine, he's very charming.
I like watching him on screen.
Emma Stone is also very charming and fine, whatever.
But, like, it's just, I feel like everyone keeps telling me,
oh, you'll love La La La Lam because you love musical.
And I feel like it's, and I know that some people who love musicals did love it, and maybe I will.
But I think it's kind of an insult to the idea of a musical to just be like, we'll just take two really beautiful famous people.
They might be okay at singing and dancing.
But like there are people who can legit sing and dance and act and they're not famous.
And so they're not the ones who get to be the ones in the musical.
Like cast people who, I mean, and when you look at musicals from back in the day, granted, like some people could.
would sing better than others, but like those people could either sing really well or dance
really well or sometimes do all three, right?
Acting.
Like, so it's just the idea that it's just, you just pick the most beautiful person who can do
pretty good.
It's like, there are people dancing and singing is a freaking art form.
Musicals are an art form.
It's not just about beautiful people.
Here, here.
Anyway, here, here a thousand percent.
But that's why when Emerson One, I yelled a lot of, um,
profanity at the television,
not at her, but just in general.
So who should have won from Best Actress?
I was just trying to think that, but I care.
It was Merrill Streep in Fort Worth.
Not Merrill Street, I love Merrill Street,
but no one did he saw that movie.
It wasn't Elle.
Elle, it was, there was another woman who I know I forget,
I think the only woman of color.
Natalie Portman.
Natalie Portman.
That's my name.
No.
That's my name.
And then there was another.
Isabel Hupe, Uteau?
No, she was the French one.
Ruth's name.
That it was Ruth Naga for loving.
That is who should have fucking won.
Was that good?
I felt like to do that.
But I was really really tired.
However, it was one of those ones that I put on that I was like, oh, it's another.
I mean, it's like, I felt like I was like, oh, I get this movie.
But it's so much more than it's beautiful.
It is a beautiful movie.
She is beautiful in it.
It's beautiful.
It's beautiful.
Yeah, but it's like in the 1950s when it was illegal.
So, I mean, it's the process of him fighting to love her.
and Ruth Naga who also like her dress outstanding.
Yes.
And I wanted her to win she.
I believe she.
No, I don't know.
I won't say that.
I won't say that.
I won't say it with confidence.
But she was really, really good.
Yeah.
And I think that she should have won.
Well, so there, and how, I mean,
and especially thinking of how much she stretched herself to do that role,
to encompass this character.
And Emma Stone played an actress.
who's trying to be an actress.
Yeah.
And again, I think that she did a good job,
but character-wise,
it's like I had to put myself in the role
of somebody who, like, wasn't successful.
It wasn't successful.
And I don't know.
It was, like, so hard.
Because, you know, I did acting for, like,
two years before I got my first big role, you know?
And it was, like, hard those couple years, you know?
That's my problem.
Yeah, I feel like it really,
this was just really the, yeah,
and it would have been cool.
Like, I mean, Mahershala Ali was the first,
Muslim person, I think ever to win an offer.
Yes, ever.
And Ville de Davis, and then, like,
if, it would have been...
Fiel Davis is fucking...
Ooh, that dress.
Oh, my God.
Exquisite.
She is, I mean, talk about just
harnessing class.
Classy woman.
She was super classy.
And her raspy voice, too.
She got that gravelly deep voice.
I'm in love with her.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And, yeah, and, yeah, I feel like there was a lot of good speeches.
like, you know, people said interesting,
people had interesting things to say.
Like, there's enough going on, like, you know,
and enough, like, people from, you know,
Muslim majority countries who won things to be like,
okay, I'm actually not here because of the Muslim ban
and things like that, or I couldn't,
I'm not coming in solidarity.
And I feel like it was just like, it was a good,
like, obviously it's the Oscars, it's not like you.
But it was still fairly jovial, though.
It was super jovial, that's the thing.
It was fun.
You can have things to say and still have it be really fun and jovial,
but also, like, yeah,
we're living in a really intense time right now.
Like, let's comment on it.
And also people will be like, yeah, we're living in an intense time, but not that intense.
So, like, everyone cool your shit a little bit.
It's still a bunch of rich people in a room that were given out, you know, awards.
Yeah, giving out prices to each other.
That's true, yeah.
I mean, in other news, Oscar Isaac is starring in Hamlet soon,
and I'm going to spend probably however much money I have my savings account to watch him do it.
On Broadway, you mean?
On Broadway.
Oh, yes.
On Broadway.
It's like a movie ticket.
It's not that much.
No, no, no.
On Broadway.
Yeah, no, he's playing Hamlet on Broadway.
Oh, my God.
I'll have to go see it.
Holy shit, I'll go with you.
Okay, sounds good to me.
Unless you want to go, like, on a date.
No.
I was thinking about going alone.
I was going to slip and slide my way into the Broadway seat.
Just drunkenly curating from the crowd.
Excuse me.
I like him to be your what?
You got a bean flicking room run.
Why is you talking to her skull?
Never mind.
I remember.
sunny this. I was
a theater major. I read this so many
times and I forget every time.
Miss this house and miss that house
and come right after you.
I just feel like I just know his face so well
after watching all these seasons of big love.
That's what I keep thinking about is Big Love and I know
okay so when he died and everyone was like
oh Bill Paxton from Twister
and Titanic and I, before looking
it up, racked my brains to figure out who he
wasn't Titanic before realizing that he was one
of the ones in the present. Nobody cares about the
Nobody cares.
See, my original was like, because, I mean, it is the,
it should be on his tombstone is game over, man.
Yes.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Game over, man.
Yeah.
Game over.
Oh.
There are so many movies to remember Bill Paxton by Titanic is not one of them.
Yeah, everyone forgets him in weird science.
How fucking funny he was in weird science.
Ooh, I haven't thought about that movie in a really long time.
He was the brother.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, and weird science.
Ah, I really remember that.
He got turned into the gigantic, like, gross monster.
watch that again.
Yeah, he was funny as shit and that.
I mean, and he was sexy when he was young.
Cot Twister.
Wait, are you guys, so my husband, who's 42,
was like, do you guys, do you remember this?
He was hanging out with a bunch of people who weren't 42 last night.
It was like, does anyone else remember the MTV video, Fishheads?
I think it's called?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, thank you.
And all of us were like, oh.
No.
But apparently he was in, like, one of the first music videos that was on MTV called Fishheads.
Yeah, real weird stuff.
Real weird.
Extremely weird song, but really fun.
And Bill Paxon.
there.
Complications of heart surgery.
That's so scary.
So scary.
Well, he knew it was risky.
Yeah.
He'd been sending out emails being like, hey, I think this is going to be a little risky,
but I want you know everything's cool because he was going to come back for like edge of tomorrow
too.
That's so scary.
What type of, was it like open heart surgery or?
I'm not sure.
All I know is that he had a stroke like either during or right after.
At first, when I first heard it was mid-surgery, it was like plastic surgery.
Yeah, me too.
That was the first thing I thought of, but I think that's just a Joan Rivers thing now for me.
Mm-hmm.
And Kanye's mom.
Buh.
Buf.
But, yeah, so I'm not exactly sure, but I know that he had a stroke either during or right after.
It was so scary.
Jesus Christ, 61 years old.
When I was, like, in high school, somebody who was, like, 55 died, and I remember my parents being like, that's so young.
And I was, like, what you're saying doesn't make any sense to me.
And now I'm like, 61 is a baby.
There's not enough time.
Yeah, exactly.
Exactly.
That's why 50 out.
You're out at 50?
50 years old.
Yeah, you've made this promise several times.
It always makes me nervous.
I'm running out of time.
We'll talk about it.
Okay.
You're going to be such a great old person, though.
I'm going to be a drunk old person.
Yeah, that's the thing.
You've got to stay because, oh, you're going to be such a good.
Oh, you're going to get, when you're old, you can yell at people.
I just never want to be that.
I don't want to be the always rate.
It's like, I already do that, but now it's funny.
And then later on, they'll be like, oh, God, well, she's got nothing else to live for.
I never want to be that she's not got nothing else to live for.
The feeling that.
I still like pretending I'm in, like, Indiana Jones, like, oh, she can out drink the men.
Like, I want that for the rest of my life.
I'm going to be a great mom.
All right.
All right, it's time for the list.
Who's on a list?
Barkass.
Got to have that list.
Celebrities with
Weird collections
Oh yeah
You find such good list
Odd hobbies
Angelina Jolie
collects knives
Well you know
It doesn't surprise me
That doesn't surprise
It's not like
Human Skin bound books
Does she collect necklaces
To wear them around herself
So that she can stab people
At any moment
She also collects first edition books
Yeah
I wish see I would love to get into a knife
collection and then like
Get into like
Eat Apples
and then just stare at it
somebody and peel in the apple with a knife.
I mean, I'll never eat the apples, is really the problem.
Oh, you would be good at that, though.
I'll eat the apples.
You can peel them and then hand them to you.
You'll be staring threateningly at the person
and I'll just be sitting with a blank expression on my face.
Or we can do it with potatoes and we can make a much mashed potatoes.
I love it.
But I like it with the skins on so that would never work.
We can make some potatoes stoops.
Stoops.
Stoops.
Stoops.
I'm so glad that made you as angry as it did.
I hope it was.
Stoop.
Stoop.
Isn't that so fucking stupid?
It's, yeah.
Stupid.
Johnny Depp reportedly has dozens and dozens of special edition Barbie dolls.
Yikes.
Actually, also not surprising, though, right?
I guess, can't you picture him going into the room and speaking to them?
And then Tim Burton, that are just, like, lifting up, they're just like, what do, yeah, when he's all just, like, meth out of his brains.
He's got thousands of dress.
Of dolls, just so that he can look at what's under their dress.
Key fact, nothing under there.
Who are you?
What's your name?
What's under there?
I like, are you a veterinarian?
Do you like to study animals?
You can study my panda bear.
But really, he just got a panda bear in a cage somewhere in his mansion.
Nicole Kidman collects coins.
We didn't even talk about Nicole.
The woman's clapping.
Oh, my God.
The clapping with the heels of her palms.
She clapped with the heels of her palms with her fingers curved outwards.
What my favorite, hands down, the second I thought it was like, that's what it is, is there was a tweet that someone said that she claps the way Jim Carrey did in the Grinch who stole Christmas.
Because, like, they had the same hand thing.
Why was she clapping like that?
Maybe she has arthritis.
Maybe she has some sort of like hand.
Would you hit it in the basement?
of the hand?
I feel like that would be
the tips of your fingers
if you had arthritis, right?
I feel like I would clap
that way if I had just painted my nails.
Sure?
Just like 10 seconds ago painted that.
I mean, be like, oh, can't touch.
But I think that more likely
she's just a weird human being.
Well, I've actually got a blind item
that I think explains it.
Demet.
Not yet.
No.
You're going to have to wait.
You're going to have to wait,
but I think I do have a blind item that explains this,
and it's from weeks ago.
Oh.
So this is something that's very interesting.
We might have a bit of a page seven putting the dots together here.
I think that we are getting to the point between your lists and your blind items,
I think that we're actually uncovering some secrets.
Well, I mean, they've been uncovered on the Internet already,
but I think we're publicizing them.
I think we're putting them all together.
We're connecting the dots.
A spicy.
A meat to bar.
Is this something that you established while that was gone?
No, it's just from Small Town Security.
Yeah, okay.
That's a species of spicy amitiable.
One of the 100,000 things that we've told you that you need to watch.
Yeah, Small Town Security is the reality show that was on, what, two, three years ago?
It is, again, one of my favorite shows of all time.
It's just a reality show about a small town security firm with a wonderful, weird cast of character.
And the woman that says it's a species of spicy of meat.
ball. She was in like one movie 30, 40 years ago, and that's it.
And she's referring to herself when she's talking about a species of spicy meat ball.
But she has Parkinson, so she's getting worse and worse.
But she's just angry about it.
So she's great.
Yeah.
Anyway.
And she also, and she has a public, she had a public access show for a long time where
that was kind of her catchphrase until she got kicked off of her public access show.
What was it for?
I think she was just cursing to it.
I mean, she was like screaming obscenities.
Yeah.
and then like there's just a whole like montage of her because she doesn't have the show anymore just sitting in her chair that she can't leave because the only time she can get out of her chair is if she dances so there's a lot of montages of her just kind of slowly shuffled and dancing because she used to love to dance but then she'll just sit in her chair and go a spacey a ice base on the ball just to annoy everyone in the office and she'll do it for
hours.
See, again, this seems like
I could see you growing into somebody.
I'm going to become...
Don't, don't.
I don't want to be her.
Molly, you don't want to be her.
50 years old.
That's not the only thing you would do.
It would just be something you do sometimes.
You're right.
Demi Moore is a doll collector.
Yuck.
Porcelain doll.
She reportedly has thousands.
Oh, like those ones that come in
the ads that come
on the Sunday paper.
Did you guys have one of those when you were going on?
Ew. And it's like, how lifelike is this?
This baby.
The ones in Parade magazine.
Yes, thank you.
Yes, parade.
And they have names,
and they have backstories.
I just love it when it comes with a birth certificate.
Yes, yes.
That's my favorite.
Violet is just out in the garden doing her gardening for her daddy.
Ew.
It's like Angettys.
Yeah, it's like creepy Angettys.
I can't wait.
I want to do adult Angettys.
We should definitely get that.
I want to be naked inside of flowers.
That's such a good idea.
Right?
Patent pending.
No, patent and bad.
And a papon.
That's such a good idea.
We can definitely get a photographer to do that.
I had a friend whose mom collected porcelain dolls.
You don't go over to their house anymore.
I went to her house once.
I remember in high school and I was like, nope.
I was like, are they?
She's like, I know it's a little weird, but like it's really cool.
She's like, this is my inheritance.
I was like, that sucks.
I would look at them.
Listen, if I lived in a house, would I get high and then just spend hours looking at the dolls?
Yeah.
Yeah, but the second, the second my parent died, I'd fucking sell that shit.
So fast.
Get it out.
Get it out of here.
Penelope Cruz collects coat hangers.
We were talking about her last night.
Tiny face as well.
You're talking about, like, wrapped, fabric wrapped?
Beautiful face.
She has over 500 non-metal varieties in her collection of coat hangers.
The question, though.
Speaking of a Faye-Done.
Selma Hayek versus Penelope Cruz.
Penelope Cruz.
I'm going for Penelope Cruz.
Wow.
She's beautiful.
I've never noticed her anything.
Oh, no, I know that she's beautiful.
We just had that we, it was like, I'm going to say probably at least an 11-minute discussion of Selma Hayek versus Penelope Cruz.
At the end, I think I was a Selma Hayek.
Yeah.
I mean, it's just for, but then they had the vanilla sky, you know, argument, but my argument was more of the talent like Frida Kolo, like whole thing.
They won, ultimately.
There is no winning.
no one's going to fuck either one of them.
None of us are going to see either one.
No, no, no, no, not in person.
Unless you get on that tourist bus,
he'll slap you in the Oscars.
I'll bet they look so weird.
I'll bet that you can, you know,
you ever see a really famous person,
their makeup is so thick.
Oh, yeah.
I'll bet they look so smooth
and, like, their proportions are all weird.
I'll bet that it was a really jarring experience
for those people.
Yeah, my girlfriend actually saw Nicole Kidman
once on the street and said that she looked really odd.
Yeah.
Like, just fucking odd.
Like, she remarked, like, it caught her eye first.
It's like, that's a weird looking person.
And she's like, oh, shit, that's Nicole Kidman.
Yeah, their proportions are too weird because their heads are so big because their bodies are so tiny.
But it depends on who you see because I remember seeing Julianne Moore.
And I was like, who is that beautiful woman?
I did the exact same thing.
Did you do?
I saw Julia Moore walk at her dog in the East Village.
And then I just remember it was like the hair.
And I was just like, God, because I've always wanted her shade of hair.
And I was just like, man, I love that hair color.
It was like, oh, it's Julian Moore.
I'm like, is she more beautiful in person
than she is on the TV?
Absolutely is.
She smiled at me.
Yeah.
And it was a moment.
Like, I just kind of like,
sorry, I was like, I just did that kind of look
where you're like, like, my eyes,
eyebrows just kind of went up, but I didn't say anything.
It's just like, oh, just sort of like a nod.
She smiled back at me.
Same thing happened with Claire Deans in the West Village.
I remember you're telling that story.
And I like that makes me like her.
Also, stunningly beautiful.
I'll bet.
I love her.
But it makes me like Claire Day and Snow that she smiled at you.
Yeah.
It's just like, hi, yes, I'm a famous person.
I understand this.
I'm also a beautiful woman.
I also understand this.
Hello.
You signed up for that life?
Signed up by that love.
For the smiling purpose.
It's not for the bothering them while they're walking their dog.
Yeah.
Erease Witherspoon, she collects antique linen.
Ech.
For what?
What are you doing with them?
This goes towards my theory that Reese Witherspoon is more boring than we give her credit for.
Yes, I will accept that.
I will accept what you're saying.
She's just kind of, I don't know, 80% remarkable.
I mean, in Sweet Home, Alabama, I mean, I'm going to say 90% remarkable.
Yeah.
You want to kiss her or what?
I think that she is a beautiful woman, but a woman, women, women, she's multiple women.
I want to see big little eyes.
Oh, oh, yes, I've read the book.
I read the book.
Wait, there's a book?
Yes, oh, I've, oh, don't even get me started.
I'll tell you.
It's like an Australian housewife murder mystery author.
I read all of her books twice.
And you haven't watched the show yet?
No, because that was away.
You're on your honeymoon.
I'm so excited about that show.
I can't wait to see it.
So excited.
And it's probably going to be garbage because the books are kind of garbage.
That's fine.
I'm fine with garbage.
You know I'm fine with garbage.
Good garbage.
Just page turn and garbage.
I love page turning garbage.
All right, y'all ready for books?
Blind items!
Yeah, we can't see them!
All right.
This one, this first one is from, I think, what was the last award show before the Oscars?
The Golden Globes.
The Golden Globes, technically.
This one's from the Golden Globes, and this is interesting.
Check it out.
On the red carpet the other night, this current Academy Award nominee, who is an A-Minus list, mostly movie actress, was loudly complaining to everyone that she wished she wore gloves because her hands looked old.
If you were a reporter and said she looked beautiful, she stopped to talk to you.
If you failed to mention it or worse, agreed she needed gloves, she blew right past you.
Is this a Nicole Kidman?
This is Nicole Kidman.
Wow.
Well, because you can't do a lot for the hands.
Yeah, the hands are always the tell.
But who's on the red carpet being like, yeah, you do need gloves?
Your hands look like shit.
You look great except for your hands.
No, your hands are want to throw up on them.
him.
Give me your hands
so I can throw up on him.
What I don't understand is I feel like
I'm throwing out there that the main reason why
she's still with Keith Urban is because
he's so ugly and his haircut is
so terrible that it really detracts
away from her.
Like you're so busy looking at him.
Yeah. Every time I see them together
I'm like, what? Yeah, especially when
he talks and he's wearing a suit and those terrible
tribal tattoos that he have keep poking
up out of his neckline. Yes.
It's a weird mullet-esque straightened
hair that like I feel like I'm looking at her in my peripheral vision.
Yes.
Because I'm just so fixated on him.
Yes, agreed.
And also, I don't know, I don't think that she's that stunning.
Well, I think she's got...
She used to be.
Yeah, she used to be.
And now she's got that, you know what a harpy is in Greek mythology?
Yeah, she looks like she's about to like sprout wings and have her feet turn into bird
claws and then she whisks herself away.
She is very bird-like.
She's a very bird-like woman.
Is it because she's so tall and spindly?
And I think she's got a beakish nose as well.
Yeah.
She does.
But that's the thing, is that she's the hottest bird in town.
Oh, yeah.
But she still has a heartbeat, which kind of makes her, to me, a little hotter because
she's got this weird, like, kind of mythological thing going on.
It just makes me so sad, though, because then, like, they were showing clips during the
Oscars of, like, young acceptance speeches.
Man, I just forget how beautiful.
She was.
Yeah.
Is it far and away?
Yeah.
I think it was far and aware that she won for.
Or that she had all that sex with Tom Cruise?
That would be far and away, absolutely.
I mean, she was beautiful back then.
And it's so sad that, like, she's got alien face.
She's got Madonna syndrome.
It's too much.
It's too much cheekbone.
Girl, you didn't have that much cheekbone.
Contour.
I saw the video.
You could do it with the makeup.
Yeah, I need to look back at the older ones
Because every time I see her now, I'm like,
I don't understand why she is this, like, goddess.
Because she was so beautiful.
She really was.
Like, she was just a standard for just an absolutely stunning woman.
Oh, my God.
And now it's just kind of sad.
She doesn't look bad on page.
I mean, like, if you forget what she used to look like
and throw it in the trash, she's a fine-looking older woman.
Yeah, totally.
And her body is still banging.
Totally.
But she also just, part of her.
I think what I'm reacting to is she never looks like she's having any fun.
No, no, no, no, I don't think she's ever had fun.
She's Australian.
They're not made for fun.
Aren't they?
No, they're not made for fun.
They're made for spiders.
Let me show you a picture of Nicole Kidman around the 90s.
All right.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, I see.
Yeah, you see, you know.
Yeah.
And she was also, like, to such a, like, she didn't seem like she was trying to hard.
She's like a beautiful girl next door kind of.
Yeah, she's the hottest girl next girl in the world.
Yeah, yeah.
She was just so beautiful.
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
And our other blind item today, also Oscars related, specifically red carpet related.
That guy I revealed earlier today, that's from a different blind item, is trying to force the big star of one of his shows out the door.
He wants more airtime and the spotlight shining firmly on him.
If there is another epic fallout with a host, especially this one, I don't think he recovers.
Morning talk show
Michael Shrayan
Uh-huh
Trying to force out Robin Roberts
Really?
How dare he?
You can't
No
Velvet suit begone
But I do love him
I like him
He's fine, yeah
And it was upsetting the whole
You know
Kelly Ripa thing
But you know
You gotta take care of yourself
When you got to take care of yourself
Oh that's where he came from
Yes
Oh I totally had not made that connection
I mean but he was also a
Giants
New York Giants
Yes
New York Giants player
Yeah, yes.
Thank you.
He's hot.
He's got twin girls that he takes care of that I believe that he has sole custody of,
which is also, you know, are we talking daddies or are we talking dads?
But so I really, I do like him a lot.
But frigging Robin, I always want to call Robin Wright, but she's not Robin.
Robin.
She's not, she ain't going nowhere.
She's also like the, like, I don't know.
She is Good Morning America.
Yeah, if there is a face of Good Morning America.
It's her.
And also, she's great.
Like, she's...
Out of the two on the red carpet last night,
Robin Roberts definitely was better than Michael Strahan.
Yeah.
Because she's got the experience.
Yeah.
She's A team.
Michael Strahan's B team.
Yeah, for sure.
I felt sorry for the C-teamers on the pre-soe red carpets.
It's rough.
The weird guy with the red suit and the smiles.
Like, there was a guy he was wearing like a red, a bright red suit jacket, a big bowtie.
And he had one of those smiles that was all teeth, no eyes.
And he was just struggling to get a word in and just wasn't making it and just look kind of uncomfortable the entire time.
My favorite moment on the red carpet was the person.
It wasn't either of those two.
So maybe it was, maybe it was what the guy you're talking about.
But he was interviewing the French woman who was nominated for Best Actress.
And he asked her like, oh, and like give us like a super quick summary, like a minute, 30 second summary of what your character is.
And because she's presumably because she's French and not American and not used to like our shitty sound bite.
culture she was just like well i think this is a woman who is struggling with and then like three
minutes later she was like and this is where she really makes this journey too and the guy went
and then incensuous ripped and it's like whoa this is the red carpets yeah yeah yeah sister
like dance around that a little bit person was standing next just like oh and then she just kept
going i mean she was doing fine she was but she was doing fine for can exactly like she wouldn't
doing good for the Oscar.
Not red carpet.
I even remember that happening.
I remember not listening to one word, she said.
And I was like, all right, when's the next celebrity comic?
And then, yeah, so she gives this, like, three-minute speech about, like, struggling through, like, sexual assault.
And then the dude is just like, all right, well, you look great.
And then I walked away.
And that's all we got down for on today's page seven.
Thank you all very much for listening.
Go join the Facebook group.
Go buy a Jackie shirt.
That's my name.
That's my name.
Oh, my God.
It's my dream comes through.
wrote your Oscars because I sure do.
I know I did.
I absolutely did.
Every time I'm like Natalie Porman for Jackie, I go,
that's my name.
I even spread the word.
It's like, yeah, tell everyone.
Go to Cave Comedy Radio, Merch.com.
And we'll talk to y'all next week.
Bye.
Hi.
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