Page 7 - Episode 204: A Night at a Bar with a Frenchman

Episode Date: May 24, 2017

Jackie, Marcus and Molly dish about sexiest ages, the new Twin Peaks, and celebs who have Hep C. Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

And the son of the Zodiac killer. The son of the JFK Assassinator. Oh, yeah, that's right. Wow, he's a son of a lot. Assassination architect. No, Ted Cruz is, he's like the Forrest Gump of American politics. He may not be smart, but he knows what love is. Welcome to page seven, everybody.

This isn't A. Blinken's topout. We got to stop talking about politics. We're talking about politics. We're getting into it. We're getting into it. You can't not. It's intersecting high Manhattan life, which is normally in the blind items, intersecting now with D.C. So, you know, if we're having political items and the blind items, we got to talk about it.

We won't. And we're in the blind items. I did. I saw Derek Krister in a blind item. They decided it's amazing. We can't see them. But they are there. But we're not here to talk about Derek.

Kushner, we're here to talk about Cher's nipples. If I can turn back down, if I can find a way, man, those nipples. I feel so behind because a major award event happened and I missed it. The Billboard Music Awards, everybody, which I couldn't give a fuck about. I don't think anyone really could give a fuck about. Okay, but everyone just gives a fuck about Cher. I mean, share was fantastic. At 71 years old, she rocked purple nipple pasties.

Except no, purple nipple pasty. Oh, have you heard the controversy? I have not. Where was the right pasty? There was only one pasty. No nipple? Where was her nipple? I mean, there was a bit of a shroud over it.

I looked for nipple. You can't really see the nipple, but why only one pasty? What if they did some sort of makeup? magic on her and put completely fake breasts over her real breast because those look pretty fantastic for 71. See, I don't know. I think that I thought they looked pretty 71. You think so? I don't know. Well, I mean, it's possible they look like a worked on 71. I think, I mean, she must, I mean, look at her face. She's had worked on other places. But I feel bad because a lot of people were like, oh, she looks bad. She's fucking 71, man. I think she looks great. I don't think she looks bad at

She looks fantastic. Also, I often look at Jane Fonda whilst watching Grace and Frankie and think about how jealous I am of her body. And the neck. It's the neck. It's the neck. It all comes down to the neck. Where are those giblets? But her body looks so good.

I know her body looks really good. Even with the popped collar, she works it. She makes 70s look so sexy. I know. It's ridiculous. There's a lot of sexy on that show, though. I mean, we know. Ernie Hudson.

But I'm not completely. Completely, but Cher and Jane Fonda just breaking down barriers for what sexy it can look like. I was a little upset that she sang Believe, even though I love that song. You believe. I mean, it's a great song, sure. But she's got so many other amazing songs that I'd rather hear. I mean, I know she can't go on there and sing Halfbreed. Cannot.

But is, can you know. The time has passed. What about gypsies, tramps, and thieves? Is that a note? Are you not allowed to sing that song anymore? The sun is maybe setting on that one. Gipsie or straps and thieves. I mean, it is a good song.

You get it one more time, maybe. I love Shire so much. I know, I know. And this is the first time that she has performed at the Billboard Music Awards in 15 years. The last time she performed was 2000. And oh shit, can't find, I guess 2012 if it was 15 years ago. Did she wear just one outfit? 2002, excuse me, yeah.

Did she just wear one outfit or was there two? I don't remember. Because I've got this other picture here. I was a little jizzied. Oh, man. Was that from last night? It's a picture of her wearing all black with a big black wig. Maybe that one was all that.

I didn't want a whole thing. I can't be a fact. You need like a sober watcher for you. You watch this while I drink. Be my eyes for me. Bright now notes. I know that she, I don't know if maybe that was the outfit that she wore the same outfit as if I could turn back time, which she wore in the music video. Man, she can't.

She's really trying. to and I appreciate that. You know, I feel like, and you know I love Gwen Stefani, but I feel like she actually looked better than Gwen Stefani because her face is so tight. It's like let the hair

just be a little bit looser around your face. Yeah. But I think that she also has, I don't know, have you seen those weird celebrity tricks where they pull the back of your neck to make your whole face seem tighter? I was trying to look for it to see if I could see it.

But I think that they do a very good job. But her face seems too tight. Yeah, she always looks like her ponytail is too tight. It gives me a headache just looking at her. Yeah. She looked great, though. No, but one step, I think, okay, so here I have a theory now. It's a spontaneous theory.

Okay. There is something, there is an age. I mean, at every age it's hard to be a woman for different reasons. Don't get me started. The bleeding happens every month. But. What are you talking about, Jackie? Hopefully.

But we're in this kind of pioneering era, right, where you can be 70 and a woman and in public. And that was never the case before, like in public and sexy, right? Like Cher and Jane Fonda doing new territory, like, look, I'm a sexy 70-something girl in public. And you can be a young woman that's sexy in public. But I feel like women in their 40s, we have no idea what to do with. If you're older than 40, like in your 50s or 60s or 70s, we can kind of put you in a different category where you might be like, oh, impressively sexy for 60, you know, or 50 even. But if you're in your 40s, you're not old enough that you can be like impressively sexy for your age,

but you're not young enough where you can just be like assumed normal young woman sexy. 40 is the 40s are a confusing territory for our society. Well, 40s is like it's like a second puberty for everybody. It is. Because you know those pictures like how men a lot of times, once they hit around like 40, 45, they just get that really weird short haircut and they just don't look they just and they over style their hair and they just don't look good anymore

I think a lot of people go through that it's just second puberty and then once they get to 60 then they're all good right right because I feel like yeah you can reach a milestone like where in your 40s you look great and you look better than you even did in your 30s right if you get that to that point of confidence like you might after puberty but I think for yeah I just feel like we're not in terms of like

sexiness I feel like our society doesn't know how to categorize 40-something year old women because they're too old for us to be totally comfortable with it, but they're not so old that we are impressed by their bravery. I feel like they're either moms or they're on their second marriage so they have to be young, sexy again. Well, I don't know, Gwen Stefani's probably in her mid-40s. Exactly.

This one has to be, yeah. But she looks good in her 40s. Like she's an attractive woman in her 40s, but at the same time if she was 60, and be like, damn, she's looking good. That's the thing. She's right on the edge. And if you look too young in your 40s,

it weirds people out a little bit. But, you know, also, if you're in the public eye, you don't want to exactly look 40 either, you know? But at the same time, like, J-Lo is a perfect example of a woman in her 40s. Yeah, that's true. I feel like she doesn't, she's not as, like, slutty as she was before. Not that, you know, Jenny from the block

was ever slutty, but you know what I mean. Yeah. Bair in it. Not as much. She bared it. And she doesn't do it as much anymore. So I feel like it's like, but it's also that, it's like growing in that respect as well,

that like you have to know how to do it. Yeah, she is a good woman in her 40s. You know, Gwen Stefani's 47. Looks pretty good. And you know Blake Shelton, you know how old he is? 40. Oh, yeah, yeah, I thought, yeah. Yeah, he's younger.

Which is ridiculous. I mean, it really shows I should probably, you know, stop because it really shows what alcohol does to a person. He does not look like he's 40. He looks like he's old. older than her. Oh, yeah, absolutely. No, he's seven years younger. Seven years younger. Sometimes, I often say that it's not fair because, like, culturally, like, we respect older men more. They get old, like, older men just get hotter and women, like, we don't know what to do with him.

But sometimes a man who's 40 will look so old. Like, you know, like, I was at a dinner one time with this guy who was talking about his twin 16-year-olds. And he then at the end of the conversation, he was like, yeah, I'm 37. I was like, what? What? You could be at the bar with me. Like, he looked like such a dad. Be you at the bar with me. And it wasn't even like he aged badly.

He just looked like a different type of, you know, there's a different type of 37. There's like the, I'm a car salesman with twin teenagers 37. And then there's like New York 37, which is like, you're 37. Yeah, I'm getting close to 37 myself. You're not close to 37. About two and a half years away. That's not very far away. And my example actually was going to.

be a black hoodie and you've got a black hoodie on. There's like a 37 year old with a black hoodie at a bar and then there's a 37 year old with like a tucked in polo. I think it's the stomach as well. If you got a tucked in polo and the belly coming out of the tucked in shirt that got the pooch, that's going to give you a couple extra years. Yeah. But I'm skinny.

If you got the like if you got the, yeah, it also depends on your haircut a lot. It's just a whole, it's a whole aura. But, you know, sometimes you'll realize a guy like, I. and I know I'm not trying to be political at all. Just as an example, because at the top of my head, Andrew Breitbart was like 43. And that dude looked, like, I would have guessed mid-50s, you know. Well, this Blake Shelton here, you won an award last night

at the Billboard Music Awards. And this is speech felt, it sounds a little forced. Because, you know, we've seen a lot of rough times with the Stefani Shelton household and the blind items. He's drunk. That's what he said. He said, I felt like I was the luckiest guy in the room anyway, because Gwen is here with me, so I had a good feeling about it.

Force, force, force, force, I love her. Don't you see that? Media. Media, everybody. I love wife. I love my wife. They don't have a kid together, do they? No, they're not, are they technically overtly married right now? I don't think.

Did they get married? I don't think so. I think it was just, I think there was a lot of tabloid rumor on it. They've been dating for almost two years. So they may as well be married at this point. I love it. I'm married. But you know what?

Still bangable for me. Have sex with him. Roll back a pretty pink. Laming. Can I get a picture of Blake's out, I know what he looks like, but he's also just in my head a generic cardstock of a man.

Yeah, he's fine. I don't, he's just a, he's a bland man. You've never watched the voice. He is zesty and I want to have sex with him. He's bland. He's bland, boy. He's bland boy. I have my way with him

and you will see it and we'll show it to the world I think he's I think Gwen Stefani is out of his league yeah yeah yeah for sure but I feel like I think it's like that 47 that she makes her feel like that she's not out of his league and that hurts

that's an unfair because she's fantastic yeah that's an injustice I like her a lot I got to do a quick divot this is a divot because I was just thinking about the carpool karaoke that she was in And I enjoyed it.

Pivot? It's a pivot. It's more of a pivot than a divot. We can dig in, too. We can make it a divot. If you want to dig in, we can dig in. If you want a pivot, we can pivot. I got a pivot just real fast because I keep forgetting.

Molly, question for you. Have you heard the new Harry Stiles song? Everyone's talking about it. Everyone is talking about it. But I have not heard it. But I do think that he's a handsome young man. He had a show that Stevie Nix performed with him. That to me, of course, elevates the man, boy, child.

I think he's officially a man now, which is why I'm comfortable saying that he's good looking. See, I mean, yeah, he's, he's, he's bland boy. Is he? Yeah, I think he's a bland boy. I think he's an attractive, bland boy. He's an attractive, plan boy that if he starts, you know, grabbing at me, I probably would say yes. I mean, we just are looking at a picture of him wearing a salmon blazer, but. Yeah, his face is a little bland in that.

It's bland boy, but, you know, I. dig. I've listened to the song over and over again because I feel like it is exactly in my wheelhouse, but there's something about it. I enjoy it. I understand why everyone likes it so much that I, there are parts of it. It's like two different songs in one and one of the parts of the song, I like a lot. And then the other part of the song, I don't. Is it a sign of the times? It's a sign of the time. Oh yeah. This is the part I don't like. But I like the other parts of the song, this part. Just stop you crying.

It's a sign of the time. I mean, at least it's something. It's a pop song that's something. I hate the. I hate it. You don't like a choir? Oh, no, I love a choir. I don't like the high pitch.

I like this part. It's like a spiritualized. song. That's like a rip off of about like five. Yeah, that's that spiritualized mixed a little bit of Bowie. But for him it is different. Yes. And that's what I like about it. And so everyone's talking about this song and I never got into one direction because I was just straight up too

old for it. It was fine. But I am enjoying this song. The rest of the album is interesting. But I implore you to listen to it. I will. I have I am a weird thing. I thought we were all too old for one direction, but now when I got all these peers who are my age or older, who are very obsessed

with Harry Styles, going to his concerts, getting his posters. The fact that Stevie Nix gives him a sign of approval? Right. I mean, how do I not? I mean, there must be something there. How do I not do it? And you know, I was in the Bieber camp of where the fever people go with the

beaver fever from 2009. I will appreciate the musical stylings of a young child, but I'd never got into one direction and then all these peers, adults who are like very enthusiastic. I thought you were talking about the kids that you, uh, actual adults who are so enthusiastic about Harry Styles in one direction and then others who are enthusiastic about Zane and there's a Harry and a Zane camp and it makes me feel one billion years old. I'm a billion years old, yeah, but that's okay.

I'm learning about these things though and it makes me feel smart in a sad way. I feel very satisfied whenever I can identify a popular song. Yes, and I'm just like, aha, this song is recorded by, Hmm, look at me. Yeah, I definitely am like, oh, the song Panda, I am familiar with that. You're welcome. Panda? You'll recognize it if you hear it.

Panda. I guess it's in the category that people now call trap music. I eat bamboo all day, I'm a panda, black and white. I don't call me racist, I'm a panda. It's the one that goes, panda. This one? Yeah. You heard it everywhere all summer for the last two summers.

I've never heard this. No? No, you'll hear it. You forget, you're talking to two of the whitest people of all the right. But you'll hear it in cars and stuff now. Yeah, this has 259 million lessons. I guess I don't. I'm popular.

Where is he saying the word panda? Here and there. Here and there. Maybe it's on the chorus. Is it called Peppered with Panda? Maybe it's here. Maybe it's here. Maybe this is the hook.

Oh. Wait, listen. Oh, panda. No, I've never heard this song. Really? No. Well, I enjoyed this. I thought I hadn't heard it.

This is nice. It's actually a very good sign. And actually, the person who does this song is also a very, very young person. I think he's like 18 or 19. But we're getting hip here, guys. This is one of those songs that I thought I didn't, I know nothing. And then I heard it and I identified it and I logged it in my brain. And then I realized I had been hearing it like, you know, all the time.

Well, you do. Yeah. You're around a bunch of children. Well, that too. But also, you know, I feel like in New York City, there's like a lot of communal music in the sense that public space gets blurred with a lot of, everywhere else. People, you know, walking around playing the same song. Yeah, the boomboxes.

It's true. I don't know if they have boom boxes anymore. Well, they're not boom boxes. They're shitty phone speakers. Yes, they're phone speakers, but that's okay. No, it's not. Keep your eyes. I don't want to hear it. Keep your ears up for panda. I don't want to hear it.

All right, I'll start listening for panda. You might hear panda more often now. I like my panda version. Are you person at me? Let me give me some more panda. Oh, don't worry about me. I'm big. Am I extinct?

I'm a panda. I don't remember the verses I did before because I'm a panda. Who gives a fuck? I'm just a panda. Eating trash. Am I raccoon? No, I'm not. I'm a big fucking panda.

Put me in China. Get me in a tree. Don't worry about me. I'm a panda. That's the hit of 2017. Get it on the charts, everyone. Get designer with two eyes out of there. We got Jackie in there.

I'm ready to be Panda Star next. New Panda Star, welcome you. Thank you very much. You guys heard the new Panda? No, not the one that goes, Panda, Panda. The one that goes, put me in a tree. I'm a panda.

I'm ready. I'm ready for stardom, guys. Just take me there. I mean, there's not a hell of a whole lot going on outside of Shares' nipples. I mean, it was Sleen Dion. Thank God, you know, it's been a busy week. We just need a quiet. Sleen Dion.

Celine Dion. What about Celine Dion? I think it was the 30th anniversary of my heart will go on? Fuck, I thought I saw people saying this today. She's saying my heart will go on. I need to go back and watch it. She looked fucking fantastic. Still love that song. Not 30th anniversary.

Jesus Christ. 40th? No, stop. 50th. Stop. I was in sixth grade. It's 20th. 20th.

20th. Yeah. Time is relative. All is nothing. Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. My heart will go on. Great song. Man, with everything she's fucking been through, I fucking love Celine Dion so much. She looked so good. She is going through all of her grief and she is still kicking it and doing it. And I want to go to Las Vegas and I want to see her show. Oh, yeah. Oh, I'm so excited to watch her sing my heart will go on.

Well, there were rumors and blind items that this was supposed to be her coming out show. That she was supposed to bring... Homosexuality? Homosexuality. That she was supposed to bring a lady with her tonight. She backed out at the last minute. No. That's what the blind items said.

That would have been a great song to come out to, I think. Oh, my God. You know why? Because she's half French. That's why. I know what happens over there. I know what happens. I made French with a...

I made French. I made French with a French. I mean, I've definitely made French. We've all made French. But I made friends with a bunch of French dudes last night. They were interesting. Did you do a French with them? Me and the French don't get along.

Usually, I don't like them as customers, but we were at a bar and they started buying me a bunch of drinks, so I was fine with that. But then I had to go and watch their friends, which weren't they friends, they just met them on the subway. And they were playing, and they all had suspenders on, and they had Newsy's hats on. And when I asked them, because we were all dancing to it afterwards, it was like, So what kind of French music is this? Because I am very American. And they're like, oh, it's more of like a reggae French music. And I was like, what was he talking about?

He's like, oh, politics. He's talking about the French politics and the American politics, but I had no fucking clue. You don't speak. It was on proffé. Yeah, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And they all had suspenders on. Half of them didn't have shirts on. But they all had camouflage cargo shorts on.

Was this in our neighborhood? Yeah. Wow. Yeah, yeah. A bunch of Frenchmen doing in Greenpoint. It was a weird night. Did anyone have? Was this at Brewin?

No, is it matchless. Oh, okay. Yeah, that makes more sense. Weird things happen to match. And then Henry kept making jokes about newsies. So Henry and I were in the back saying, Santa Fe. And no one like that.

But, you know, we heard drinking. Marcus, what's your problem with the French? I don't know what it is, man. I've had one good night with a Frenchman named Pierre. We had a great time way back in like 2003, when I came to New York for the first time. but then every single time I've run into a Frenchman at a bar we almost get into a fight.

Everyone's had a night at a bar with a Frenchman, but me. Yeah, and I've just had bad nights at bars with Frenchmen. There's just something about it. It's like where we just start talking to each other, and there's just some kind of wavelength that we just can't quite get on, and it almost comes to blows, and that's when I get out of there. Because the French, do not get enough credit for being mean as shit. Yeah, Girardier-Bardieu.

They're tough as fuck. They can be smug. Yeah, they can be smug. But mean, I mean, like, fighting. Oh, like a question. Oh, don't get into a fight with a Frenchman. Okay. Oh, yeah, Frenchman will fuck you up.

Interesting. Yeah. They seem to have a pride in being French, which is fine. Very much so. But it seems to, that's like the defining, when I think about French people, the defining characteristic is their pride in being French, which is fine. But pride in nation states always makes me a little uncomfortable. Yeah, well, that's the thing is that I think it's my proud to be an American,

and they're proud to be a Frenchman, and that shit just kind of, and I got proud to be a Texan on top of it. I got two prides going on, and then we just, But heads. I think that's why Celine Dion is perfect, because no one has pride in being a Canadian. And so she's got the French part, but she also has the humbleness of being Canadian because they're all really nice and really great. So they don't have that ostentatiousness of being a Canadian. Oh, the Quebecois. I've heard some choice words about the Quebec law.

I mean, apparently Quebecqua is bad. But I think she might be from, I don't know. She's from another one. But she's from a Francophone one, isn't she? Because she speaks on one place. I mean, she's just a francophone. Yeah, yeah. I think she's so classy.

I think she's from Quebec. I believe she's from Montreal. Yeah, yeah. I don't think she's from Manitoba. Admittedly, I can only name maybe two to three cities in Canada. And I know one of them is... Vancouver. Speaks English and one of them speaks French.

Calgary? New Brunswick. We know all of Canada. So put us on the map. I'm ready. I love Canada. Newfoundland is an island over to the side. I want to go to Newfoundland.

My buddy Collins from Newfoundland. I love a puffin. Is that where the dogs come from also? The Newfoundland dogs? I think that's where puffins are. They got puffins in Newfoundland. Dude, they have so many fucking puffins. I've been trying to watch fucking Planet Earth 2.

I ain't got BBC. I ain't got no way to watch it. I want to watch Planet Earth 2 as well. You know what I watched last night? What do you watch? It's so good. Mommy dead mother, mother. It's so good. I can't believe how good it is.

What? Twin Peaks. Oh, yes. It's new one? The new one. And it was really good? It's amazing. Really?

It's so good. I watched the first three episodes, and it is so good. It's everything I want. It's like Twin Peaks through the lens of blue velvet. Ooh. I know it's very David Lynch. It's the most, it is the culmination of David Lynch's career. Really?

It is everything from every David Lynch. Like, it's elements from every movie he's ever made. It's amazing. It's all in there. And there's fucking extreme violence. It's the dark. It's as dark as he wanted to make Twin Peaks in the first place. He has no restrictions whatsoever.

It's a lot closer to Firewalk with me than the actual show itself. See, meanwhile, I could barely get past the first episode of Twin Peaks because I found it to be so upsetting and horrifying. That's what it is. Oh, and this is 12 to 20 times more horrifying and upsetting and confusing than the first one. It is very upsetting. I should have just done it beforehand. I want to rewatch all of them because I watch them in college.

I watch them when I first moved to New York, but I haven't seen it since. So I would love to, because that was, what, nine or ten years ago at this point? So it's like, I want to sit and watch them all again and then jump right into it. I've recently watched Fire Walk with me. But are all the characters still in it? Like, Kyle McGlachlan's still in it? Like, everybody's still in it? Well, it's 25 years after the very last, yeah, I'll see you in 25 years.

Yeah, so it's 25 years after that, after the last episode. of the show. And it picks right, like, it makes so much sense where it picks back up. That's a feat just got accomplished. It's the only way. It's the only way the Twin Peaks could have possibly been rebooted. It's the only way is to do it 25 years later. It's amazing.

It is a tour de force. I haven't watched the whole thing yet. But so far, three episodes in. The first episode, you're like, I'm not sure. What's Matthew Liller doing here? And then by the second. Matthew Liller. He's graded.

I'll take him. I know you love him. You know that I would bang him as well. And he plays a high school principal. Ooh, I'll take him again. Is he sexier now than he was back then? Well, he's gray-haired now. Really?

Oh, yeah. I think I'll take it. I'll take it. Do you have a picture? Can we look at a picture? Molly, I got to tell you. I think you might like it. I think I might like it.

I think I might. I actually, Twin Peaks is one of those things where I've always kind of felt a little bit embarrassed for not having been into it. As an adult, in 2010, I watched the first season, but I think, again, I felt embarrassed. I was like, I think I might not be a David Lynch person. That's okay, though, because it is very much, I understand the not being a David Lynch person. I understand it completely. It is so upsetting.

But I also think I also didn't get it. Like, I saw Blue Velvet when I was in college and I was just like. Blue Velvet is very upset. I don't get this. Almost all of them are upset. Eraser head is very upset. I just I just,

ah, that sounds. But I loved it. But I loved it. If you were to say, like if somebody was like, I don't know who David Lynch is and you had to pick only one thing

that they would watch. Eraserhead. Or, I don't know. Blue Velvet is pretty. I would say Blue Velvet. Yeah. Yeah. I would say Blue Velvet.

Because eraser head just doesn't have a, it's just a dream. Eraser head just, it plays like, I mean, eraser is what my dreams look and feel like. But Blue Velvet is, I think, a pretty good summation. The main thing I remember from Blue Velvet is Heineken. Fuck Heineken. Paps Blue Ribbon! That's like my main memory in that movie.

Of all the memories, though, that's actually a pretty tame one. Yeah, I don't know why that's. I think I was drinking Paps, Blue Ribbon. at the time and I was like, oh, yeah. Forgive me, I think mine is the Dean Stockwell singing in Dreams by Roar or something. That's my favorite scene. That are Isabella Rosalini. Yeah, Isabella Rosalini is great in that, but I love me.

He's got the little hanging light and he's singing in dreams and Kamalekloklin. He don't know what to do. This is a picture of Matthew Lillard currently in 20 weeks. Thank you so much. Oh, my God, yes. I'll take him. He's still got that weird lizard face. Oh, yeah.

You don't grow up. A lot of lizard, baby. He's a weird daddy. He is a weird daddy. Yeah. I like that. What's that picture down there? He's got a weird goatee.

Oh, that's him in Scooby-Doo. No, not the one in the fucking Scooby-Doo. The one of him in a tuxedo. What a tuxedo picture. Jackie, that's the movie Scooby-Doo. Do you see that animated dog next to him? Jackie, that is, he is obviously in a picture with a large brown dog. That's not a goat-tee.

a chin beard and it's disgusting obviously Matthew Lillard playing shaggy in Scooby-Dew You're disgusted me Are you familiar? Yeah he looks good at this one though He's got a closely shaved head and a goatee And a tuxedo

Yeah, would fuck. Would fuck. Yeah? Yes. He just is, he in my adolescent brain It's like when I Scream. Yeah, he'll always, this will sound bad. I'll be right.

He'll always... See Matthew Lerner, it always makes me feel like he's just like a sexy teen, a few years older than me. You know what I mean? Because that was the age that I was when Scream came out. So seeing him now is like a daddy. He's definitely 10 to 15 years older than we are. But I'm like, ooh, you're like just a few years older than me. And if I was at a party, I'd have a crush on it.

It makes me feel like a young sexual teenager again, is what I'm saying. Yeah, take it home to dad. Take it home to your own daddy. Oh, he's 47. Wow. He's not bad. I didn't realize he was that much older than us. Wow, I didn't realize he was that much older than us.

There you are, yeah. I mean, well, I mean, Scream. He was probably 21 or 22 when Scream came out. That's true. Scream was, what, 20 years ago? Yeah, and we were. Not quite. Scream was 99, I think.

Maybe 98. But no, but he must have been older because I was probably 12 when Scream came out. Yeah, so around 99. No, Scream was 96. Wow. 96. So I saw that way too young. I was 10.

I saw that at nine years old. I saw that in the movie theater. I was 13. That was 13 is the perfect age for scream. Definitely. 10. I was too young. I didn't remember it being.

I told you guys, when I watched it on Halloween, I was like, Jesus, Christ, this movie is scary. It's good. I didn't remember it being that scary. I think I must have been only focusing on the sex. You were only focusing on Jamie Kennedy. Yeah. I can't deny it. Molly, the mistakes she has made.

I can't. Also, all of them, all of them, I was just really horny, I think. Skeet Ulrich? Oh, no, he was attracted. I know, that's what I'm saying. I was attracted to him. Oh, you still wouldn't bang scream version of Skeet Ulrich. You wouldn't bang.

I would bang Kraft version of Skeet Ulrich. Even worse, though, he's a bad, and both, he always plays a bad guy. Skeet Ulrich. always plays a bad guy. Yeah, but I feel like he's very akin to the bad guy in practical magic, who was Dr. Kovach in E.R. That guy was dreaming. Dreamy.

But he was also international. Yes. And I think that helped with the dreaming. Yes. Ambiguously Eastern Europeans. Yeah. I'm trying to know if that make a decision here. Rose McGowan and Scream or Farooza Balch in the craft.

I think I'm going to go with Rose McGowan and Scream. Really? Not Rusea Bulk? I don't know. Which one? She's the main character? She's the one. Big mouth woman.

Oh, her? Yeah. The really scary one? Yeah, the super scary one. Yeah, I think I'm probably going to go for Rose McGowan. I mean, she was definitely more than like, ah, don't kill me. Our garage store.

God is such a dare. She had all those mini skirts on, too. Yeah, the mini is a lot of tight sweaters. Yes, a lot of tight sweat. Then with the scene when she got killed. and short, short tight sweaters. Short tight sweaters. Like from Delius.

Did you get Delius catalogs, Jackie? I was too bad for Delius. I always wanted to shop at Delius. Yeah. I think Delius made everybody feel bad about themselves. Oh, yeah. Frusibalk, she's just, like, well, like, Rose McGowan, McGowan, she'll break your heart, but Frusabalk will ruin your life.

She will ruin your life. Yeah. She'll stalk you and ruin your life. But also, isn't that fun? Isn't that fun? What do you think to all the times when I've been, in that kind of relays. I mean, it sounds like you're more of a Bruges Bulk.

My track record says that I, but I think that's why now that I am older and wiser, that I'm going to go more for a Rose McGowan. Fair enough. Definitely not going to go for a Neff Campbell. Although, she's cute in the movie, but. And she had so many issues,

which was really sexy. Yeah, that's true. I mean, but she in red, yeah, definitely, I, identified with her the most when I was young. She was just too serious. Well, I'm never going to go for the virgin. No, of course not. I've never been really that type of guy.

And she was still girl next door. Yeah, but she's the one that's going to live. She is the one that's going to live. But I would die too. Yeah. I'm definitely dying in a whole movie. I'm second. I'm second to last.

Yeah, and I'm second because I'm the fat, funny one. That funny one always die second. You have the sex scene first. I would never be in a sex scene. I'm the fat funny one that dies second. I would either be sex. I would either be second to last or the last one to die because I'm the one that's like, no, we shouldn't be doing that.

I'm the one that tells people not to do stuff. Yeah. And so usually that guy survives until usually around the end. That's why I screamed so great because you thought that's what Matthew Lillard was. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I'd be more of it. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, I'd be more than Matthew Lillard type. Molly, I think you'd live. Yeah. That's, I mean, I think it was a strategy to identify with Neff Campbell, but it's also, I still so basic now because it's the same people identify with Neff Campbell are the ones who identify as Carrie and Sex in the City. Carrie is not a bad person

do I identify with. But it's just like, oh me, I'm just like the main character. I'm like the protagonist who everybody loves. Yeah, but I like it if you're not choosing it for sure. Like if it's put upon you, then that's how goes. But people who are like, oh, who yeah, I guess I'm just a carry. I'm

just the Nave Campbell. I'm just the star of the movie who everybody is down with. Yeah, but I feel like no one really likes the star as much. I think everybody like the favorites are always the auxiliary picture. It's the character. The character actors. Yeah, the character actors. That's everyone's favorite. I was just waiting for fucking Neff Campbell

to get a fuck-b-buck-buck-pac-pac-pac-c. I want to see her fucked. Yeah. And it happened. Yeah, you saw her in her bra. It wasn't that sexy of a sex scene though. No, when your tenant is, though, that's the thing. Oh, yeah. When your 10, it's a sexy sexy. That was like, that's, like, my

entire experience watching that movie, This year I was like, oh my God, I'd only experience this movie as being about sex. I have filtered out all of the other stuff because it was just when you're 10 and you watch that sex scene, you're like, this is as close to porn as there is. Like, that's how I felt anyway. By 13, I'd seen loads of pornography. Yeah. That really, that's a big age difference between us at that point in time.

Right. The amount of development that happens in those three years is. It's huge. It's pretty huge. I always thought of Jamie Kennedy because it reminded me of how. because Henry worked in Hollywood video. And so he would go and be like, I'm on what you need to be watching.

I'm like, shut up. I know I got a fucking watchman. You know, so it's like, Chey McKenney just kind of remind me of Henry. And then, you know, he would be the one that would know what's going on. That's true. Henry would definitely be the one that... Now he's lost so much weight, so he used to be the one that would die second, but now I'm the one that would die second.

Yeah. Henry would survive, unfortunately. Yeah. He knows too much. Yeah, he knows way too much. Yeah, he would like Jamie Kennedy survive. Yep. Knows too much.

Yeah. I'm glad we figured it out, though. I'd be one of the secret killers. God, I would love to have a CCR horror movie. It would be wonderful. Yeah, that would be really fun. The cast would be really, really fun. Everyone thinks it's Kissel, but it's not.

It's me. It's you. It's you and Ed. You and Ed. Yeah. No one would ever suspect to end. That's the thing. Yes.

That's so, wait. What would happen to Holden? Oh, God. Holden would have the most gruesome kill in the end. He would be killed the most gruesome way possible. I feel like he would be the virgin at the top of it and be like, dude, they would no way I'd ever be killed in a horror movie. And then he has some like sex with some hot girl,

but it lasts like two and a half seconds because it comes really fast. And then he immediately gets it like horribly butchered right after him. I see him being killed in a trash compactor. Ooh, that's kind of much. And it shows like the, all the blood coming out. Like a final destination. You see his head just pop like a grape. God, have you seen all the final destinations?

I haven't. I've only seen the first one. Man, the first one's pretty good. But the rest of them are so fun to watch. Highly recommend them. They are disgusting. Super violent. Super ridiculous where you're like, how did this even happen?

Who thought of this? And it's just like, oh, God. Did you just like watch just like something falls on her head? And she's like, stop, stop. And then her eyes burst and then her old head explodes. Like that kind of thing. That's fun. I can't do that.

You can't do that. That's fun. All right, it's time for the list. Oh, it's our list. My God. Gotta have that list. Famous people with hepatitis C. Wow.

What a hippo violating list. It is a long list, too. Wow. Well, Pamela Anderson. Up top. Which one is hepatitis C? The transmitted one. Okay, so this is, is this like...

You can die from it. It's fairly serious. Yeah, it's pretty serious. Oh, it's a bad one. You can have it like your whole life, but it's very serious. But do you get like warts or something? No. No, it's just like a blood disease, right?

I think it's, yeah, I think it has to do with your liver. And so I think it can really catch up with you. So you can't drink. I think that's right. Man, I hope I don't get that shit. An infection caused by a virus that attacks the liver and leads to inflammation. So I think it can be like you can have it for a long time and be asymptomatic and then all of a sudden it can really... But you get it through goocean?

You can get it through gushin. Actually, I think how it is, the virus is spread by contact with contaminated blood from sharing needles or from unsterile tattoo equipment. Oh. And other people like sometimes boxers, fighters, they can get it. Wrestlers can get it because there's a lot of blood mixing. You see one egg pony and the fears are happening for me. You see one naked pony, you've seen me. You see me.

Man, that song is supposed to be a serious song, but I laughed through the entire thing. Which song is that? From the wrestler. Bruce Brinksie. I thought you were being Bob Dylan. No, I mean. I'm the wrestler. Yeah, it's just all.

He'll wrestle with me. I'm pretty sure he won the Oscar for. It's just like, you see me all. I feel happy and fear. You see me all. I love Bruce Brickstein. Don't get me wrong. I'm happy that he won an Oscar.

I'm pretty sure he won an Oscar. I'm pretty sure he won an Oscar. That's than I had before. You've seen me, but I can make you smile when the body hits you for. To my credit, this sounds like a little dillony. Yeah. Oh, very much so. Tell me friend, can you ask for anything more?

You never saw the wrestler? Yeah, I saw, of course I saw the wrestler. I just didn't. I only saw it once when it came out. Oh, okay. It's a great movie, though. I've thoroughly enjoyed it. But he starts singing about one leg, dog, and he's got all this things in it that's just like,

I'm laughing at the song. Sorry, I'm sorry. Divit, Pivot. Pivot, divot. Stephen Tyler, he had, he got hepatitis C in 2003, underwent 11 months of treatment. Damn. But now it's gone? I mean, I think that you can kind of get it to a good manageable point. Keith Richards, you definitely got hepatitis.

Yikes. I can't believe that man is still alive. He said he cured it, quote, just by being me. Cool. It's about the... No, it's not true. Talk about ropey, though. That guy is ropy. Oh, that's the ropy. Did you read that book? His book, it's like, a life.

Just life. Yeah, life. I didn't. Oh, I'm not a Rolling Stones fan. Oh, there's a lot. It's a lot. There's a lot in it. Naomi Judd, that's a surprising one. Double Jeopardy for her.

Except she is in jail for life with hepatitis C. Naomi Judd? The country singer? Oh, no. I'm thinking of Ashley Judd. I always mix them up. Wait, Ashley Judd's in prison? No, Ashley Judd is in the movie Double Jeopardy. Naomi Judd's her mom. Oh, so doesn't that mean she gets us to the babies?

Could we get some pictures of both of these two? Because I never know what they are. Well, this is Naomi Judd. Okay. Because the Judd's sisters were a country act. But who's Ashley Judd? Ashley Judd is an actor. She does not a country.

I mix them all up. No, Ashley Judd. No, that's Ashley Judd. Ashley Judd Double Jeopardy. Yeah. Yeah. That's Ashley Judd? I don't think Winona Judd's the bigger one.

Winona? Fatter or? No. More popular. Winona Judd is the, she was much more popular than Naomi Judd. But they started off as the Judd's sisters. And then Winona Judd went on to do her own thing. Yes.

And then Naomi Judd didn't quite do quite as well. Why would she fuck over her sister so much? I don't know. Jackie. I don't know. Ouch. As someone that works with their sibling and Molly, I'm sure that you feel the same, I'm upset.

Yeah, I think the idea of a strange siblings who work together is very upsetting. Excuse me, I know someone's going to give me shade. It's Wynonna. Why not Wynonna? Not Wynonna. It's Wynonna. Because I know there's going to be someone going to Twitter right now. It's Wynonna Judd, Marcus.

You're from Texas. You should know that. You should know that. Why not? I'm sorry, you shouldn't know that. But Ashley Judd is one of the sisters. No, Ashley Judd is a daughter of I think Wynonna Judge. See, now that I've seen all of their pictures, it makes sense.

Because Ashley Judd does look like a daughter of one of them. I don't know which one. And you know what? I refuse to find out. Yeah, I don't care. Okay, cool. I'm with you on this one. I've never really known what's up with the Judds.

So now I feel like I learned a lot. Double Jeopardy. Jim Neighbors. Gomer Pyle had hepatitis C. Pyle. It's a pile of what? I know he's in. What is he in Cotter?

Best little whorehouse in Texas. Best little whorehouse in Texas. That's what I meant to say. I thought it was Welcome Back Cotter. Oh, Miss. No, Jim Neighbors, wasn't in Welcome Back Cotter? I've never seen Welcome Back Cotter. I just know that.

Oh, Mrs.C. That's John Travolta. I know, Judge I'm all. That's why I know that part of it. Yeah, I only know the name Gomer Pyle from whatever Simpsons. Pyle! Yeah, exactly. Thank you.

Shazam. Is that from Bessel War House in Texas? That's from the Simpsons episode. Annie, get your gun. Natalie Cole. Ah, yes. Hepatitis C. It all comes back to the hepatitis seat.

Natasha Leon. I don't know. Oh, from Orange is the New Black. An American Pie, one and two. Man, she's that old. Well, it's good that we're destigmatizing this. I didn't realize that she was that old. How old is she?

I mean, if she was that old and American Pie, then she must be a lot older now. Oh, is she the Band Camp one? No, that's the Redhead. Right. Yeah. No, she's the one that's like, The saucy, sarcastic one.

Uh-huh. It's like, I'm too good to be in this movie. You gotta do orange as a new black, Molly. I know, I know. I'm left behind. You're very left behind, but not like in a close on the pile and the Jesus has taken you away. You're left behind and an orange is a new black way. I know.

I think I'm going to start next either Orange is the New Black or transparent. Do Orange is the New Black. I love transparent, but do Orange is the New Black. Really? Yes. All right. You want to talk about destigmatizing? How cool is Hepatitis C if Evil Cenevil has it?

It's so cool. Getting on a motorcycle, I could die at any time. You throw Greg Ollman into that pile? Jesus, what a party. Wait, Greg Allman has Hepatitee C? They had to cancel their 2008 appearance at Bonneru because of it. I think what's really important is to be aware of it. And who is more aware than Jack Civorkean, who has Hepatitis C?

Has he? He's a lot. He got. Definite hat, big hat. Big hat. I wish he could kill me. My choice. Yeah.

Good for him. Good for him. Mm-hmm. That's our stance on you today. Good for them. And right there with Jack Kovorkian, Linda Lovelace. Pornographic actress.

Ah, yes. Let's see a picture. How pornographic is she? She was one of the big ones. She was way back in the 70s. One of the originals, right? Oh. No.

one of the originals. No. I'm going to keep saying fat every time you say the big ones. She was in Deep Throat

Linda Lovelace for president, Deep Throat Part 2 and Piss Orgy. Oh, that sounds like a good ender. If you're going

to do a full-on marathon of Lovelace, I think Piss Orgy is the place to end. Good ender for the viewer, not for her career. Yeah, not for her career. But I mean,

it's like at that point, it's like, where else you go? Yeah, you know, I hope that it was a good experience. I wonder if the piss

happens during the orgy or if it's an orgy and then everybody pisses on each other or do they piss on everybody and then they have the orgy? I would imagine it's interspersed throughout. That's fun.

Can you pee with an erect penis? You can. You just got to... A bit. You got to... There's a couple of different ways to do it. You can either like kind of squat but it all depends

on how much you can like push down the hard It's pitch. Into the bowl. Hole. Yeah. But you can still pee? I thought that a...

I thought there was some sort of duct that closed up. Absolutely not. I thought they closed the duct for the seamens. But that's only when you're going bra, bra, bra, bra. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Otherwise, yeah, you can piss anytime you want. That's fun. Yeah.

We can piss anytime we want to. So if you're wondering about that, we can. You know who can piss anywhere they want and has? David Crosby, who has hepatitis C. Oh, man. It's because he almost cut his hair, but he didn't because he has hepatitis C. And he's worried. Maybe his hair won't grow back.

Is that part of hepatitis C? You know who never cut their hair either? Never cut their beard. Dusty Hill from Zizi Top. Oh, that's hepatitis C. Really excellent segue, Mark. Good job. Jesus, this list is long.

It's a long list. I'm skipping a lot of names too. I get destigmatizing. A lot of people have hepatitis C. I don't know if anyone, is that something that is stigmatized? I think all SDIs are stigmatized. You know, anything that you can get from? from goosh and people have a big stigma around it and that's not fair.

You're scared of the gooshen. I love free goo-hm. Yeah, goosh away. But goosh responsible. Goosh safely, for sure. But I don't think we should scorn people who've gooshed and gotten something. Guished and lost. Sometimes you goosh and win and sometimes you gooshed and loosed.

I have gooshed and loosed. Twice. Man, I think that's how that's a point I want to see. Gushed and loose. Gush and lust. Twice. Twice. Yes, that's the sequel.

All right. Stop from Blind Adams. Oh, yeah. See you. Only got one today, but it's an old Hollywood one, and it is scandalous. Oh, it's more your best shot. This regular guy married this permanent A plus lister for her money. When he found out she didn't have any, he took out a life insurance policy in her name and then killed her.

in her condition and with her history of pill popping, he easily got away with it. Judy Garland. Holy shit, yeah, wow. That was a person. Yeah. Oh, yeah. But who was a dude?

Mickey Deans. Some normal guy. Oh, actress. Oh, so he must be. Mickey's Deans. Some fucking regular old murderer. Mm-hmm. Mickey Deans.

Damn, I wonder how he killed her. Well, I mean, she'd be. Barbituates. She overdosed on barbiturates. So you just stuff him down. You just give her some pills. You give her a little bit of wine. So they keep drinking. Keep drinking. Yeah. And she ODs and he took out a life insurance policy just a skin few months before.

Oh, that bastard. See, now that shit, you can't get away with that shit now, Mom. They look into that. Not anymore. Jackie's seen forensic files. Oh, I know. Always look at life insurance first. My share of ID channel and I know that they look at the life insurance.

Always looks at the life insurance. That's why you buy it way before. That's the thing. I actually am like, well, I guess I'm married and maybe we should get life insurance, but I only associate it with murder now. Well, yeah, of course you do,

because it's the only time you buy it. Because other than that, it's like, you know, we don't have any money. No, nobody's got any money. No, it's a whole business based on murder. You're just going to be left with their debt. If you love someone... I'm thinking of murder here.

If you love someone, you're left with debt, I feel like that's how it goes. Yeah. Right? I mean... Unless you're rich. Yeah. God, I got to get a life insurance policy.

The night I proposed. The night I proposed to my husband, he started sobbing, and I said, why are you crying? And he said, I have so much dead. That's the sweetest thing of her. You're going to be saddled with that. Daddy. I'm just saying it right here. I said that if I get a life insurance policy, it's not because I'm planning to murder anybody.

For now. For now. See how it goes. Marriage number four for Molly. I see. And it's all we got on today's page seven. Thank you very much, everybody, for listening. We'll talk to you all.

next week. Oh yeah, baby. Okunima, fuck it. Take us out with some panda. My bladder's gonna explode. Give us some panda. Panda. Oh, panda pisses on a bamboo before he eats it. He's got to. Oh, his bladder's gonna explode. White and black. Who cares about race? He's a panda. And he munch your face.

Colorblind panda. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to cavecomedy radio.com. Thank you.