Page 7 - Episode 206: Never A Lime For Me

Episode Date: June 16, 2017

Marcus, Jackie and Molly dish about Katy Perry's new haircut, Demi Moore's dental woes, and come to grips with the idea that Goop may not be a Goop true believer. Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Slow dancing Waiting in the music Slow dancing Just me and my girl Welcome to page 7 Everybody Jackie Zabrowski's regaling us with songs She sang to herself in the bathroom this week

I also sang I'm just sitting here watching the wheels Go round and round I really love to watch a roll as it's laid on the cold tile praying for some sort of higher power to take me with it leave my clothes

I was waiting for Kirk Cameron to come through the door and let the record show that it wasn't even for a hangover it was for food poisoning I've been food poisoned for two days straight How did you get food poisoning? Man fucking late night retos dude And I know it was the meat Because I can still taste it in my mouth

Where'd you get him from? Am I allowed to say that? I know everyone has been fucking poisoned from this place and I still would order from it because on a Sunday it's the only place that delivers Mexican food after 9 p.m. It's not L.A. Burrito, is it? It's fucking L.A. Burrito's my second favorite burrito place.

Oh, don't, don't. Don't. You're done? Don't. I've been, this is the sickest. This is the worst food. This has been a bad one. Oh, L.A. Burritos where we used to always get burritos when we recorded

in my basement, oh so many years ago. That's the other L.A. Burrito. We order from the other L.A. See, now you're not disparaging anybody because nobody knows which one. Which one I'm talking about. But the things if you're in this area, you know the one I'm talking about. Because you can probably find four friends of yours that have also been food poison there.

Now, guys, I'm on the brat diet. That's the brat diet. Bananas. Rice. Applesauceauce. And every time I try to fucking gum down one of those dumb pieces of shits

I just pretend like I'm one of those fruity little brat dolls with the big eyes and the slutty lips sexy sexy doll I should be like Where's my leopard brint Fucking applesauce

I hate applesau I gotta tell you though You gotta put some cinnamon on it Not right now I know but eventually I bought organic applesau sauce too. That's fucking bullshit. It's just apples.

It's just mashed up fucking apples. Are you allowed to put anything on the toast of rice? No butter. No butter? Nothing. Mm-mm. No butter. It's all bad. It's all bad for you. Wow. You can have a nice broth if you want. Wow.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's kind of fun, though. It's like, I think Goop should start writing a book about the food poisoning diet. Oh, man, but you know, we haven't been able to talk about it yet. Goop had a thing. She had a thing.

What happened with Goop's thing? Jackie, you were telling me about it last week. Yeah, I was so excited. I was so excited. She was on Jimmy Kimmel. And she, I'm sorry, I'm going to be burping a lot, guys. She was on Jimmy Kimmel. And she, he was asking her about multiple things that are on the site, i.e.

For example, Erthing, which is about, he's like, so what to tell me about earthing? And she's like, you know, it's like, you know, you take off. your shoes and you walk barefoot and you know it's like the the electromagnetic activity um of the I don't know it's just nice to walk without your shoes on and he's like okay and then he started asking her about the fucking jade eggs and he's like do you know and she's like I have no idea what you're talking about and then she's just stopped and she's like you know what I don't know what the fuck we talk about on there wait really she has no fucking clue really she has no what she came clean

she's not a true believer she's no she's not but then at the same time they just had this big huge festivals you just had like a goop gala where people paid between like five and fifteen hundred dollars for tickets for them to be lectured by these people that came in that were just like oh i forgot it was just all these dumb things that like things you can't do anymore like oh you can't eat anything from the nightshade family anymore so no more tomatoes and no more potatoes and then they said it's because in europe they said our immigrant ancestors didn't eat them and neither should we, which is complete bullshit. Yeah, all of that.

I'm sorry, I'm rambling. I've been alone for two days in a bathroom. I understand. This is the Goophe Health Summit. Health Summit. The Health Summit. There was a panel with Guinez Palo, Cameron Diaz, and Nicole Richie, and model Miranda Care who admitted using leeches as

part of her beauty routine. Wow. Yes, all nutrition experts, each and every one of them. Cameron Diaz, I think of her mostly. When I think of her, I think of the mass. Oh yeah I know she's been in other things I feel like I saw a lot of people

talking about that goop convention and I'm a little bit I'm reeling from the news that she's not a true believer because I thought that she was buying the shit she was selling No but the thing she has nothing to do with it and she still makes

bagillions of dollars off of it I think it kind of makes me like her a little bit more I was the only I was going to say I can't decide I can't decide if it makes me like her better or worse I kind of like her a little bit more but that makes me sick That makes me more sick than the read of To think that maybe I like her

A little bit more But what does that do for her hashtag brand You know? Are people going to be like Oh Glenn doesn't care? Ha ha ha ha! $15,000 for an egg. I don't think any of those bishes are watching Late Night comedy.

I don't think any of them fucking are paying attention It's just like their other yoga wearing pants friends Say to shove the egg in their pussy And they do it. You know, I think that's what it is. But yeah, that's, I guess are all the goopers, true believers, but goop herself? Or is it all a bunch of cynics just put an egg in their vagina for no reason?

I would imagine it's a bunch of true believers that just hand her a check at the end of the month. It has to be. Yeah. It has to be. Wow. That goop convention was written up like it was a real, you know, the paparazzi was there. It was crazy. Yeah.

It's ridiculous. But it was definitely a hierarchy of how much money you pay with like the other. women had to stand in line for hours and hours to do the one thing and then they didn't get it. But they had to go back in, but everyone else was like shopping with goop and like dinner with goop. So it's just a horrible hierarchy. Wow. I can't believe that she doesn't care.

I just can't. I hate it. But then you think of like the unconscious, unconscious coupling whole thing that she did. Right. So was that just bullshit she just made up? Like someone told her to say it? Has she just been like trolling us for a decade to be like, I think you think I'm the most obnoxious as rich person in the world

because I have all these beliefs. But in fact, I am an obnoxious rich person because I don't have these beliefs and I just fooled you. I don't know. I think in my mind it's just so hard for me to not think of her as the sweet woman from seven. And you like,

you want an effer, right? Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. That's clouding your judgment. It's clouding my judgment. I am not objective.

You like her in Shakespeare in love also, or am I thinking of a different man? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you a different man? Or you're at that one that's the other than I'm thinking of. I don't know, she's, not anymore. She's gotten, she's gotten taught, too taught, too taught for taste. I feel. Too little gluten.

Yeah, that's the problem. But I think that back in the seven days, she still has, like she was more of a girl next door, I felt a little bit more than she is now. than a scary demon devil. Yeah, that's part of where the anger comes from because she was so girl next door in a famous lady way. For then to her, be like, not only am I not the girl next door,

I'm the overlord of this fucking jade empire, you know, like a evil witch. I feel like that was a real betrayal. Oh, man. As soon as you walked in the door at the Goop Conference, you could get your aura photographed. Dupes. I've had my Gora

photograph before though. I have. Wait, okay, so here's another question, though. What if there, was everyone at the Goop Convention, like, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Or a photographed, ha, ha, ha, ha. Like, are they all just laughing with us? I'm not sure.

Are we laughing at them? Well, one of the guys that was there, apparently the whole conscious uncoupling thing, that wasn't her idea. That came from a guy named Dr. Habib Sadigi. Is that the guy that was talking, like, the big main guy that was talking at her thing.

Yeah. He was talking about No More Nightshades. Yeah. And the funny thing was about that is that he was talking about No More Nightshades. And then their meal right after the No More Nightshade Conference, tomatoes. Filled with Nightshades. Failed with nightshades. You can't just say these things.

No, that thing where they're like, oh, our ancestors didn't eat these things, I don't appreciate that. They said something about how, like, that you don't have to, this is a, like, complete mind-fuck quote, I believe. that I don't remember exactly what it was. Like this quote has been fucking your mind. In my mind, yes. That it's like that vaginal birth is the same as breastfeeding so you don't have to breastfeed anymore because giving a vaginal birth is like gives it the nutrients it needs.

No, that's not that word. It's the opposite. But that doesn't make any sense. So it's like, how are they all going to stop breastfeeding? He's like, no, no, I'm going to push it out of my vagina. And then because all of them get it ripped out of their tummy holes and now he wants them to be pushed out of the other holes? Well, this is all just a way to shame women for whatever choice they make

because now it's like, oh, you've been breastfeeding, you actually should have done an vaginal birth. And then it's like you've been in a vaginal birth, but what about your breastfeeding. I mean, it's the goop way. That's what they do. Shame. Shame.

They shameing each other. I mean, it's kind of fun. We ain't got nothing to do with goop. No. Yeah. But also, neither do Molly night. It's like the non-goopers. Also, it's like, you can't tell me what nightshade I can.

can and cannot eat. Yeah, I'll put the baby out whatever orifice I want. Thank you very much. Out of my nose if I want to. Did I just puke out a child? Oh my God, I've been gooped. You got cooped. Also, I feel like something that we missed out on last week, which I feel like everyone

pushed to death, but I just need to bring up to make sure you guys saw it. Did you see the hug between Jerry Seinfeld and Kesha? You mean the hug that didn't happen? That was the most awkward. Do you see this, Molly? Yeah, I did. And I got one question, which is what's wrong with Steinfeld? I just don't think he hugs people.

I also don't think he knew. Yes. Well, sure. But he should have made that. I feel like he was being disrespectful to Kesha. In his defense, he came out and said, he's like, I'm a 65-year-old man. I don't know who pop stars are. That's a yeah, he didn't know who Kesha was.

So some girl just came running up to you. It was like, give me a hug. I do this show and I would not be able to recognize Kesha on the street. That's fair. If you don't know who Kesha is, that's totally fair. I'm actually, I love Kesha and I'm not totally certain I could recognize her either. But, yeah, in that context, God, that's terrifying, actually. I think about being in a celebrity party and having a celebrity come up to you and be like,

I don't know who you are. But nonetheless, you are a 65-year-old, extremely famous man who probably has women come up to you all the time and ask you for a hug. And he probably is like, I'll hug you. Like, I just feel like he was being a little bit of like a power man. No, I think he has a thing against that. I think he's one of those guys where it's like,

and I also get it is like you're one of the most famous people in the world. I imagine there's people always wanting to grab at you. I totally get him to him like, no, I'm all right. I think he's got a germy thing as well. Yeah, he definitely has. He's like one of those germy, like, ah, neurotic kind of people. Yeah.

Although that's sounded like Raymond, and I think Raymond would hug him. I think Raymond would be really ugly. Yeah, I mean, it's all the ultimately frustrating thing about all this is that it's a very Seinfeld, too. It's so awkward. He's not that germy, though, because here at the creek, I used to work with a place where there's a theater where, you know, we record. And I used to be the tech director here, and Colin Quinn did a show here once. And Seinfeld once showed up to open up for him. and I was actually covered in paint and all sorts of awful things,

looking much the way I do now. And he shook my hand when he came up. He was like, hi, Jerry. I'm like, hi, Jerry, Marcus, Colin's back there. That's really nice. It was very nice, yeah. So I think he just has a thing against hugging. And also you were working there.

I was a working. I was a working man. Yeah. And I get that. I was like, you know, I was a working person. And he's like made sure to shake my hand. And I respected that. So he's not like a horrible dick.

He was actually extremely nice to me. Okay, yeah, that's cool. Because I was, I mean, so wait, do we think Cash did something wrong or do we just think that it was a situation that just didn't go quite correctly and nobody could have done anything differently? I think it was B, yeah. I think B, definitely B, yeah, he has no idea who Keshe is.

And Kesha, I don't blame her for me. Because I feel like it's fair that plenty of people don't like hugging, but I feel like at those parties you're just like, oh, hug, hug, hug, hug, hug. Like, I don't think it's, I don't think she was being unreasonable, like your Jerry Seinfeld. But also the same time, he was in the middle of an interview That's also not the time to run up to somebody and give him a hug.

Like, you meet him. Like, as he's walking away, you go up and talk to him afterwards. Like, I thought it was a little, but we also know she's an attention whore. Yeah. You politely wait. Yeah. You politely wait off to the side. You're doing an interview.

Yeah, but can't you imagine a situation where it's, like, really cute? Like, oh, maybe Kachal loves Seinfeld. You know, maybe she's just sitting there writing her great pop songs and watching. Watch her. This is what I want to get into. By, like, New York Jewish observational comedy. And she just saw him and she just couldn't help herself and she wanted to...

She was thrown into action. You know what, Kesha, learn a little bit of self-control. Whoa. Slaping it down. You don't need some self-control. Katie Perry. Oh, what's going on with Katie Perry? I want to hear what's going on with Katie Perry,

but can I first express a bit of an annoyance on my part? Yes. Which is that whenever a lady... cuts her hair short, there is immediately this narrative that something horribly wrong has happened with her brain. That's true. And I don't like it. You know who did that? Britney Spears.

Uh-huh. Well, that was the whole thing. There's actually... No, but there's actually that happened with Miley too. Everyone was like, ooh, she's having a mental breakdown. It's a Britney Spears. She set the precedent for that, and I don't think pop stars have ever really been able to get... Because that doesn't happen with actresses at all. No. It's just pop stars.

Yeah, you're right. But it's not fair because Miley looked great with her short haircut and so does, I think Katie Perry looks great. And everyone's like, something's wrong with her brain. It is true, but it also did come with, didn't both of them, I don't know, I can't remember with Miley Cyrus, didn't both them come with the transition of their music as well? Yeah, I mean, it's definitely, well, right, yeah, that's fair because I guess there's a thing that you do to, like, reinvent your son. Yeah, to, like, change it up, which is basically what Katie Perry was doing. Yeah, yeah, but I guess I just don't like that short hairs associated with, not that there's anything wrong with mental breakdowns. They happen to the absolute

best. True. Like Britney Spears. Right. That one was a definite mental breakdown. And, you know, and I feel like, you know, nothing but good for her, you know, in terms of solidarity and support and she's amazing, right? But I don't yeah, I guess I want to,

I don't like that the short haircut is associated with something terrible is happening. No, I hear, you know what I mean? Yeah, because I mean, the same thing with like everyone was just talking about Lindsay Lohan too, just either a wig or she just cut off her hair. but she's like in the middle of shooting something

so that's not even, you know, it's like, I don't know. Yeah. Also going, if you believe the blind items, going back to the refuge of the sugar daddy. Uh-oh, interesting. She is overseas. We all know what Lindsay Lohan gets up to when she goes overseas.

Oh, yeah. Tell us what's happening with Katie Perry, though, because she is 32. It is, I mean, I know I've been in a bit of a haste while I watch most of this. So she did 96 hours. hours of live streaming in a big brother's style house. So it wasn't her house. There was cameras everywhere, including they watched her while she slept as well. And it was all to lead up to her

album dropping yesterday. And it's called Witness. And the whole thing is that it's about social media and, you know, everyone being in your lives and like celebrities and how there's no privacy anymore. And that's what the whole album is about. So she did this whole thing. as a publicity stunt for people to know that the album's coming out, which was beautiful. I mean, it was a great idea. Oh, she did a left shark surprise wake-up call.

Remember the shark? The shark from the Super Bowl. It was very, the thing is, it was planned out very well. Like, it's like things like that. You know, she cooked with Gordon Ramsey. She hung out with Rupal for a really long time. See, well, and this is like, this is a little bit why I'm concerned that the, like,

again, I don't know what's going on with her, but I'm concerned that the narrative is she's having a big problem because I like Katie Perry. I think she has good taste in songwriting and also in like her, yeah, I feel like she's like fun and I want her success. They talk about that though. She's a therapy session live streamed.

It's an hour-long therapy session that you watch that the reason why she said that she's reinventing herself why she cut off her hair is that she's trying to find the Catherine Hudson, which is her real name, trying to find out where she's, is because Katie Perry is taken over and she's trying to find herself again.

My problem with this... Her name's Kate Hudson? I mean technically, yes. She totally should have gone with Kate Hudson. It is Hudson, right? I think her last name was Hudson. She said it so many times. I think it's Hudson. It's a different name. Catherine's something. She said it's

been a haze, but I've been watching it. I've watched most of it. And it's like she's trying to find herself again. But then at this same time it's like trying to find yourself while prostituting yourself for 96 hours of doing this for your album to drop that seems like it sounds like a great album i haven't really listened to it that much but i don't know how i feel i think that's cool to do a therapy session in public i mean it's i mean i feel like that's like could be destigmatizing right then she has like a small mini concert

for like these like teenage girls and then she's like asking the question she's like so how long have you been a Katie fan. Saying things like that where it's like, all right. But wait. Have you guys seen the Katie Perry documentary? I probably talked about this

before. No. Okay, the Katie Perry documentary will give you a complete, the reason I have so much respect for her is one. I have respect for her.

I just don't know how I feel about this particular stunt. I hear you, yeah. But there is a part, I mean, I guess you're thinking about her doing this because everyone was like, oh, she has this breakdown.

I didn't realize it was a therapy session. But in the documentary it was like around the time that her and um russell brand were breaking up and just as a performer there is a part where she's like in the dressing room and she's crying she's just like upset she's just like having a bad time and she's crying and they're like okay it's time to get makeup on and so they're putting on makeup and she's crying and she just can't stop crying because it's like right in the middle of her divorce and she's crying they're like okay we can hold the audience for a little bit like do you need some more time and she's like yeah and then they hold the and they're like we can't hold

the audience anymore and she's still just like really upset she's like I'm sorry I'm just having I'm just really upset and so they like bring her out you know and it's like a fucking Katie Perry concert back in the day with all the freaking lollipops and roller coasters and whatever and so she's like under this mountain on stage and she's about to emerge they have like a lift where they lift her up she emerges from the top of this thing with like a you know a big something attached to her it's this huge grand entrance and she's down in the thing waiting to enter the stage and she's still she's recovered the thing after you've been crying for hours and she's like you know like recovering and then she like starts crying again and then she just like

she just like kind of shakes it off holds her head together and then like puts her performance face on like well you can like tell that she has been crying like all day and then they just like lift her up and then as soon as she's up in as soon as the audience can see her she just transforms and she's performing and as somebody who has had an anxiety attack right before going on stage It's difficult. I was like, feel, in that moment, I was like, holy shit. I mean, it's not just her. I guess all performers probably have to do that.

But watching her being like so sad and then just being like, I got to go on stage. It made me feel so much, like, respect and solidarity with her. It's a very, very good documentary, I cried. I'll watch it. Now I have to watch it. Now after watching all this fucking footage of her staring at her fucking face, now I feel like I got to watch it. It's all just to say I feel like when I started watching that documentary

I was like, Katie Perry is not that interesting It's interesting that she has the album that has the most singles Of anybody except Michael Jackson, I think Although you know who she did accidentally say Was the best fuck? Josh Grobbing You know what? That doesn't surprise me.

It doesn't surprise me at all. She's been with like, you know, Orlando Bloom. I mean, she's with that guy that she was married to But Russell Brand who I can't imagine was very good in bed. Not a good. I mean, she's been with a bunch of people. Jason, what's his name?

Guitar, binging. Bunny is one a name. Jason Maraz? No. John Mayer. Thank you. John Mayer. Yeah.

I'd rather fuck Jason Maraz than John Mayer. Really? Yeah. With the pork pie hats? And that's a hat. Yep. Yeah. I don't know.

Based on music also. DJ Diplow is down at the bottom. He's fired back. He said, I don't even remember sleeping with it. See? Yeah, James. Corden kept saying Diplow. Yeah.

You don't remember. Sleep with Katie Perry, whatever, Diplo. Yeah, right. Who is the, I didn't know who that was, so I didn't, I didn't know what that was. Just some dickhead. Okay. Good save, DiPlo. He's at the bottom, though.

But I. Ooh, Orlando Blune got the silver medal. Yes. Yeah, I guess I. That's right, yeah. I'm curious, I guess, this is so, what's so fucking upsetting. I guess if you're famous. Is Josh Grobin that you're upset with?

Because I'd have sex of Josh Grobin. Yeah, and of course, he's probably very, very considerate. Yeah, I might be almost. too. He's going to raise me up over and over again. I'm going to be like, no, I got to raise you up. Yeah, right. Get it? Dick joke. That's about it. That's it's it's what I've got. I got these.

Get it. Marcus, I raise him up. You know that song? The raise you love. Oh. No, I don't know that song. It's the Josh Gropin's song. I don't know any of Josh Gropins music. Isn't he the opera man, right? Yeah, you raise me up. Raise up. Kind of, yeah.

That was more Michael McDonald's. Yes. Yeah, yeah. I just feel bad that all these women have to have to like have a reinvent themselves to stay relevant But I mean I think that this one's more for her I think she just like didn't know herself anymore Same with the fucking Gaga She just did the whole thing she's trying on different hats Yeah that's true

Never a pork like that. I don't know if she has to do it She wants to do it Okay I think she is wanting to do it Okay Because it's not like her career was in a slump or anything like that No yeah it was like a also like Madonna too Like Madonna likes to do it Right

I think it just like to do it Yeah But at that time, I don't know, but then it's like watching all this stuff where she's so upset about all of it. That's like, take a break. Right? I mean, she's got to have millions of dollars, millions, billions of dollars to get you take a break? That's why I was so amazed that she's 32. I was like, damn, just because I was thinking about like when you're 32, you're like, you are.

I guess you're trying to get your life together and all that. Well, what is it? I think it's like Metallica talked about this as far as like them breaking up. entire economies revolve around these people. Like these super famous people, there are entire economies, people that depend on these people for their livelihood. So it actually speaks to her character

that she's like keeping it going. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, because like the magazines and I mean, you know, the teen bops. Well, no, just people like in her direct employ. Oh, that's true. Yeah. Just people that, yeah.

Her people that work for her. Like, she stops going and they stop getting a paycheck. She had very interesting outfits on though Yeah I really wanted to Yeah but she was wearing Frump dumps but I loved them They were beautiful

Frump dump dumps What kind of front drums Architectural You're all architectural Really? Yeah that's the only way I could describe them They looked like potato sacks that were High Fashion

But like she looked great at them I want one I think it's why I'm wearing the house dress I like her look now better than I liked it during like the how she looked in like Friday night. But also another thing too, every time you clicked on

anything, she's also a cover girl now. And so anytime you clicked on anything for her things, it was like her being like, I'm Katie Perry wear this mascara. It's like God, you're everywhere. It's like if you hate Katie Perry so much again, I mean you're Katie Perry

and then I click on it and then it's Katie Perry. And I turn my head and it's Katie Perry. That's crazy. I never get sick of looking at it though. I want that. Can I have that? I want that. I'll never once seen a picture of Katie Perry and gone,

ugh, Katie Perry. I was just like, well, hey, Katie Perry. Yeah, that's kind of how I feel, too. I don't feel any negative feelings about her. I mean, my feelings about Katie Perry are vastly different from your feelings. The reasons why we both look at Katie Perry and go, oh, hey, Katie Perry, very different. Different parts of our bodies feeling warm. Yeah, you get risen up.

So you can walk on mountains. Yeah, my spirits get risen, whereas... My spirits get risen, too, hey. Yay, yeah, yeah, my spirit lives in my dick. Dick jokes. I have many spirits. I'm a complex character. Yes, we have many spirits.

One or more is in the dick, though. Also very true. Demi Moore lost a couple T's. Dude, no, yeah, man. Dude, I fucking saw that, man. And she lost two teeth because of stress. Because of stress or two teeth fell out. That's terrifying.

This is my nightmare. When I'm stressed out, I have nightmares that my teeth fall out. Of course, but also I hate the fact that she used the phrase stress sheared off my teeth. Yeah, sheared. Wait, did it gradually rub off? Stress sheared off my front teeth. I don't know. I feel like that's not the verb she wants.

I don't know. She said it multiple times. Did it fall out or did it fade away? She said, I literally just like knocked it out. It almost like it, it's almost like it fell out and my warranty was up. Thank God for modern dentistry. It's better to burn out than to fade away. That's so disgusting.

That's so scares me. You know how stressed out I am constantly? Do you guys have teeth falling out nightmare? Yeah. I think it's a Floridian thing, right? Yeah. I mean, I have teeth falling out in general. I get what she's saying.

Yeah. Yeah. When I'm really stressed, I grind my teeth really. bad at night and I've lost three teeth to that. I grind my teeth real bad. But yours didn't just fall out? They just, they crack. Yes, you have multiple steps.

There are multiple steps. Yeah. There are multiple steps. But, you know, different teeth have different pressure points. Yeah, I've got a, we've probably talked about this, but I have a, like, one of those Steph Curry mouth cards. Highly recommend it. I went and got fitted for Envisaline yesterday.

Hey. So crooked teeth will not be crooked in a year. Wow. And that probably also acts as a preventing from grinding your teeth, right? I don't know. They didn't get me much information. They just kind of brought me in, did the impressions, and then shuffled me out of there. I get them in six weeks.

Be careful. Your mouth got hurt. Yeah. Brace is hurt. But it's good. It's a gradual hurt. It's a hurt you get used to. I'll get used to it.

I hurt anyway all the time. I forgot. They sheared it. It was. in my mouth would finally match the pain in my cell. God, it's sheared. You don't have her teeth that scares me.

I'm going to have a terrible nightmares. You shear a sheep, right, though? You shear a sheep. You share a sheep. You don't shear a tooth. And let's know, sometimes they buff down your tooth and sometimes they grind down. You're like, yes.

Right, that's what I'm thinking. When she says shear her teeth, it makes me imagine that it was very rapidly like but by stress. That makes me nauseous. You're making me nauseous. She was just sitting in her home doing taxes And then her tooth was like

Oh God My teeth are going to fall out No, no you don't have the same amount of stress in your life as Demi Moore My teeth are going to fall out No Demi Moore might be experiencing Particular levels of stress At the same time with the amount of fucking pills she pops Yeah no I think she's really

I think she's probably fine That's why I think it's like a drug thing She's like right If you got money, how stress can you be? Yeah, she, her eyes are popped out on the drugs quite a bit. I don't know, maybe she's on amps. Something. Maybe she's on, maybe she's an upper because those, the eyes that she has,

those big, wide-set dish eyes, those are amp eyes. No, and also because she was on one of the jimmies. And I met the late night show. She was on one of the jimmies. I was watching my jimmies. She was fairly animated And she was the one that showed the picture And I think he had asked

Like what do your daughters think about this And she's like oh They think it's funny for me to show the picture It keeps me humble And she like laughed about that And she was like What's happening with Debbie Moore It would make sense if it was

Pop pop pop pop pop Pop pop pop pop pop pop pop She's got fireworks in her heart Katie Perry Nah Debbie Moore But What were you

I thought you were asking for a hint Oh no, pop-ups. Pop-ups. Upers. Pop-up, pop-pap. Pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pop-pap. I see. I couldn't go to the road.

We just talked about Katie Perry, Jackie. I want to talk about her some more. I mean, I don't like her being like, oh, it's funny when I show this picture because I feel like that's, it's like, it wasn't it funny that I lost the tooth? I can just get it replaced. Ha-ha, where's a lot of people.

You're fucked. Yeah. I mean, you're not, you can get it fixed, but it's a very serious hardship. And you also have to save money to get it fixed. There's a lot of people like, if that tooth falls out or it cheers out, excuse me. They got a way to look. I'm going to throw up. Oh, God.

My body is an empty cave. Right, but I know plenty of people whose tooth are not there, and they've just been waiting until they can afford to get a new one. You know? Yeah. I'm getting mine after I get the Invisaline done. Yay, new tubes. Been saving up for teeth. That's good.

That's a good thing to save for. Yeah. It's like a reverse tooth fairy. Yes. You give them money. You get teeps. You give them money. You get teafs back.

Oh, not like the girl whose muscle turns into bone. It's a new... I've been watching television for two days straight. It's a new documentary on Netflix. It's about little girl and her muscles turn into bone. Fibro dysplasia as a fauna's progressusiva. It's a very rare disorder. It's called FOP.

Yeah. It's like a Mori episode turned into a Netflix documentary. Yeah, it's British too. She's like, okay, move my arms. I'll pass my head. Oh, soon, I won't be able to walk. And then they have to choose over time whether they would like to be frozen sitting forever or frozen standing forever.

And I'm watching this and I'm sobbing. It's like you gotta stop and I'm just like I've got my little bucket just in case I need it. And I'm just like driving into the bucket as I'm watching it and I'm crying. God, most of them, it's not fatal, but most of them starve to death because their jaws free shut. They're jaws free shut. It's called Stone Man Syndrome. Yeah, it's crazy. This is a Mori episode.

So Mori was always like, look at these children. It's like the real-life version of Jack. And then you just cry. Progeria. Yeah, it's very, I don't think that the, I don't. I love it. I'm not sure what the politics behind these documentaries are other than to have people sit with a bucket and cry. But at the same time, the woman figured out what was happening with her daughter by watching one of those fucking documentaries.

She was like, I was watching one she was three years old. and I noticed that her feet weren't right and my feet are nobly so I thought her feet were going to be lovely but they weren't she's got a rare disorder and I'm her keeper for the rest of our life and her husband left her

and it's just her and the fucking kid and she's like hoping and praying that someday she'll maybe get a job or meet someone or is she going to have to be her caretaker until she turns into stone well she's going to have to be her caretaker

She turns into stone. But the real question, guys, standing or sitting, standing or sitting? I just don't know. Yeah, it's going to be because if you're standing, it's going to be really hard for people to get you from one place to another. Then you're just stuck in one of those Hannibal Lecter things. Will you're out in a handcart. There's one of the men.

They have the oldest living man in Britain that chose standing. And he's like, I think they got too steady because then I never read to be in a wheelchair. But instead, he has to be elevated up out of his bed like a corpse. And he's shuffled around on this weird moving thing, which is basically a wheelchair. And when his caretaker takes him into the city, he just lays there like he's a corpse fully standing, but strapped into a wheelchair. See, this is the problem with these documentaries. They're meant to engender sympathy. I was sympathetic at the time.

Mori is just like, oh, this is about sympathy. and then he's like wheeling in the sign that says like freak show you know and I was crying and sympathetic at the time but the retelling is silly retailing of it is silly I just yeah

it's on Netflix I still haven't watched that one with the nuns yeah it's fine I'm over it I can't do it anymore yeah I didn't make it pass I watched the first one and said you know Oh God, I watched a movie on Sunday that fucking destroyed me.

Ooh, what was it? It comes at night. Oh, I want to see it so bad. It's misery porn. Oh, is it? It's just, you just walk away from it feeling god awful. What's it about? It's not like torture.

It's not like, like. No, it's just human suffering and sadness and misery. Oh, I like that. Yeah, you're probably going to love this. I hated it. It's not a documentary. No, it's like a horror suspense film. Mostly like suspense.

But yeah, it's kind of a, it's like a post-apocalyptic slice of life. Hmm. Where it's... No, too real. No, thank you. It's extremely real. Yeah, I don't need that. Yeah, it's like a post-apocalyptic plague slice a life thing where, yeah, shows a couple of families and what happens to them.

Yeah, no, I don't need that. No, you don't need that. No, it ruined my night. Yeah, it's like an end of the night or, huh? It ruined everything. Yeah. Yeah, it's a particularly... There are some people I know that are really going to love it

if you just really like feeling like truly terrible. Nope. Like truly horrible. Nope. I've just been exclusively watching house hunters. It makes me feel great. It makes me think about a future I'll never have. You know what the last good movie I saw was?

Secret Life of Pets. You just keep talking about the... Yeah, you love it. I love how much you love it, though. Well, no, Sing was that. That's the best one. But I watched Secret Life of Pets recently, and that was pretty good. I just think that's so charged. I'm thinking of Marcus at his house.

Yesterday, I almost watched Singh. Yeah, the dogs got away. They're at the sausage factory now. Oh, they love sausages so much. You like happy things. Sometimes I do. Sometimes I do. No, last night I was in between Singh and the girl whose muscle turns to bone.

You see what I chose. But I am also watching, re-watching Twin Peaks right now. And watching the new, re-watching Twin Peaks, with Carolina and watching the new Twin Peaks on my own until she gets caught up and then I'm going to watch the new Twin Peaks again. And are you enjoying now? It's so fucking good. Yeah. It's so amazing.

It's so good. I got to do it. I can't say anything. I'm not going to say a single thing about it. I just, I'm so, even though I'm not a Twin Peaks person, I feel like it's just so rare to get something that good, that right again later that I am really enjoying watching Twin Peaks people love it because I feel like that's just very special, you know. Yeah, it's great because it's not the same old, same old. It's got just a little bit. I'm losing a little bit of patience, but that's what David Lynch does.

That's what he does. He tests your patience quite a bit. But he threw some red meat in there on the last one to really like, okay, I'm testing your patience. But here's a couple of things that a little, an old surprise and a new surprise. That's fun. Yeah. So he's doing it right. Hell yeah.

Two thumbs up. Twin Peaks Revival. Two thumbs up. You never do any real estate ones. We don't have to talk about the house hunters, but that's, I feel like you're always doing the, uh... Where is it? Is it on your sweet precious cable? Yeah, where do you watch your, where do you watch your 25 kids shows?

I watch it on Hulu, but the Hulus ain't got none of the house shows. Okay. And they used to have it on fucking Netflix. They took them all off. I just feel like my reality interest and your reality interests are... I know and it devastates me, and that's why I've been watching these dumb, awful documentaries. Like the real life sleeping beauty, which is one that I always... also watched because they took all my

goddamn reality shows off. I'm telling you, Amazon Prime, you should mine it. There's a lot of gyms on there. Alright, I gotta look through there. That's where all the unsolved mysteries are. I know, I just can't get it on my TVs. You could, you might maybe. I got so, I gotta get somebody. I gotta get a guy and put it on the TVs.

Next time I'm over, I'll put it on your TVs. Yeah, yeah. I'll bet Marcus can get it on your TV. All right. I can get it on your TVs. I'm good with TVs. Thanks guys. All right, it's up on the list. I got to have that list. I got too excited. Sorry, I should have taken the Marcus part of the same. That's all right.

Famous people with Lyme disease. It's a devastating bone disease. It's a disease. It can be devastating. Yes, that's true. It can be devastating. Albrel Levine almost lost everything in the Lyme disease. Oh my God.

But did she lose the socks on her arms? Does that go if you have Lyme disease? You know what? I still appreciate Averill Levine's aesthetic. No, I don't. I resent it as a kid who identified as a quote-of-quote real punk in high school, which I was not. Not, not. None of us were. I thought she was not a real punk, which I was correct, but I was also wrong about myself.

As long as you were. We were both wrong about ourselves. Trust me. We both thought that same thing. We were both wrong. Yeah, I'll admit it. Alec Baldwin has chronic Lyme disease, which affects him at the same time each year. Uh-oh, he's a werewolf, dear.

That's what I'm saying. Wait, does it, wait, Lyme disease makes you tired. Quite tired. Very tired. And it affects your kidneys? Uh, it's fatigue, fever, heart palpitations, joint pain, headache, and in some cases, paralysis. I got that. When my friend had Lyme disease, he looked like a wreck for months.

Like he like lost weight. He looked really, he, he, it really. Is this another goop weight loss idea? Cover yourself in ticks. No, it was it kind of like, he looked like every time you'd see him, you'd be like, are you okay? But he's better now. That's good, but I didn't die.

But it's forever. It's kind of one of those things that kind of come, either comes and goes, it can be treated and cured or it can be chronic. And there's a lot of ends and outs. Wow. George W. Bush, for example. Wow. Lyme disease.

Really? Well, he hunts a lot. That's a big hunter, so that makes sense. Didn't slow him down. Didn't speed him up, though. He got a lot done. I wish he'd have slowed him down with regard to war. But other than that.

With a whole lot of stuff, I wish he wanted to slow him down. He did get a lot done. Now he's done doing a lot of painting. Yeah, painting dogs, painting feet, painting veterans. Govah. Govah. War criminal. Ben.

That war. Oh, he's a cute little barker. Oh. Ben Stiller. Lyme disease. Wow. Richard Geer. Lyme disease.

Oh, no. For him. These people must have so much support. They're like, oh, I have Lyme disease. Somebody else do all my responsibilities for the day. Then they could get paid money to be the head of some Lyme disease counsel. That's Avril Levine. Alvino.

is a big advocate. That was her thing. Of course. She's a Lyme disease advocate. I don't know. This feels, bringing awareness. This feels too mean for me,

but I do think that it's just the idea that she's like, ooh, this will be the thing I'm famous for me. Yeah, yeah, yes, yes, yes, yes. Yeah, baby. And it's not like, like, I'm not really going to die right away. So this is great. Ooh, irrelevant is seeping everywhere I look.

Oh, I've got a thing. Lyme disease. That's pretty great, though. Of all of them. But you know who got a hard hand one after another is, Michael J. Fox got Lyme disease then Parkinson's. Oh, no. See, that one, I don't give him Lyme disease.

I take it away. No, I give his extra to Richard Gear because he can deal with it. You know who else didn't deserve Lyme disease? Is Pete Seeger? No. Yeah, Pete Seeger deserves nothing except very good things.

Yeah, and not to be on Spotify, even though it makes me sad. No, what do you think about this one? Parker Posey. I love Parker Posey. She used traditional medicine combined with holistic techniques to treat her Lyme disease. See, that's the problem.

That's the problem. You get the real people medicine. I know at a time and there's a point and yes, we try, but then we get the real ones. This is the first round of antibiotics did not destroy all the bacteria and I made a decision not to take them anymore and instead approach it purely holistically through the help of my homeopathic doctor who guided me with my diet and gave me the natural supplements to bring my body back to its vitality. That is fine. I understand like incorporating all of that.

Definitely. But it's like if I take five bunches of burnt lavender and I smear them on my pillow, ah, yes, never a lime for me. I feel like that's more of what they're doing. Debbie Gibson. Oh. Wow. Oh.

Me! Debbie Gadsden. No. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh. Oh. Daryl Hall of Holo notes.

Oh, man. I wanted to go to that fucking concert so badly. Sold out so fast. This is a recent concert? They're coming. Yeah, in July. I got really excited. And then I was just like.

I just found out about it and it's like, oh yeah, that's been sold out for a long time. I mean, I got sad. Yacht Rock. Unfortunate. I mean, they're more than Yacht Rock. Not really, not really. Hey, hey, we hay now. Don't insult Paul.

He's got Lyme disease. He's got Lyme disease. He has Lyme disease. All right, it's out of. Oh, we can't see him. This one is actually. He's losing steam. These better be good.

This one is actually very, very interesting. Don't want to get too political here, but this does work into the whole page 7 through line. Did someone say toilet flush? About Scientology. This is very interesting, and I think this is very plausible. It took a while, but that wacky religion finally got payback against the now career dead comic,

thanks to their photographer church member. The comic has long been an SP. A comic who is an SP? Which comic just got in big trouble for a photograph. Kathy Griffin. The photographer, Scientologist. Whoa. And the photographer convinced her to do the whole photo shoot.

Whoa. in an effort by Scientology. To put her down. To take her down because she's a big outspoken critic of Scientology. Oh. They got their fingers in everything. Machinations. Get away.

You have nothing to do with politics, like in that kind of shit too. It's like then it just like that became. Oh no. That was just them taking down Kathy Griffin. The whole political thing was a complete and total side show. It was all about taking down Griffin. Man, they're such bastards. That's such a bastard.

That is, I will say that is the only interesting thing I have heard regarding that entire thing. And that whole thing is just like, oh, come on. It is a big eye roller, but that is an interesting possibility. But also, it did, like, it did hurt her very much. It did. Very much. It did hurt her quite a bit. Yeah.

Man, that's crazy. That is crazy. That's crazy. They just get it in there, like little rats. Stomp out of the rats. Our other blind item today is it's a little long, but it's juicy. Ooh, I'm worth it. I'm worth it.

You're worth it. You're worth it. Jackie's a big juicy blind item because she's so dehydrated. I'm worth it. When you think of this permanent A-less singer from a permanent A-less group, you think of him being a pretty nice guy. You would never suspect that he has walked away from two fatal overdoses and not done anything about it. The first happened several decades ago. He was using heroin.

The band had played a show and he was with a groupie at her house. They had bought some heroin from a dealer friend of hers. According to the former tour manager, he got a knock on his hotel room from the singer. It was about 6 a.m. And the singer said he woke up next to the woman and he realized she was dead. Our singer didn't know what to do. So the manager got up from the bed and got dressed and then left the house. No one, not even the tour manager, ever called the police to report the body.

Fast forward to the late 90s, and it happened again. This time it happened in his hotel room while he was on tour. According to the tour manager who found out later, the singer called the promoter of all of the international shows and told him what happened. The promoter told the singer to get his stuff and get out of the room, and the promoter would take care of it. The promoter told the singer later that night in front of the tour manager that it had all been taken care of, and that is the last anyone ever talked about it.

Jesus in Denver Lake. No, rock band. And decades. Decades. Rock band that's been around for a long time. And there are two possibilities here. Ooh, I was really excited because the whole time I really thought it was Justin Timberlake. Man, that dirty, dirty, dirty.

If you walked away from two people who had overdosed, oh, my God. Wait, okay, is it? It's not the Rolling Stones, is it? Not the Rolling Stones. A little bit further along, but there's two possibilities. One of them, one band got really big in the 70s, stayed big. The other band, big in the 90s, and stayed big. Both, you know, in this possibility.

Are we talking Dave Girl Food Fighters? Oh, no. I'm trying to think of like nice people. But that era. Yeah, is this a nice guy? I really don't know about nice guy with this. Yeah, I don't know. One of them could kind of be a nice guy.

Long hair doesn't like to wear a shirt. Runs a lot. Brut Michael's? No? I don't know. I don't know whether he runs. I really wish it was Brett Michaels. Can you imagine if that asshole had let two people.

We said it's not the Rolling Stones. It's not the Rolling Stones, no. But think of a video in the 90s of a man with long hair with no shirt on, running in slow motion. Do you run out chili peppers? Yeah. Oh. Anthony Kedis. Whoa.

It's one possibility. Okay. The other possibility, big from the 70s, big drug problem, big mouth. Stephen Tyler. Yeah. See, I can see Stephen Taylor for sure. Somebody else deal with this. Yeah.

And he's definitely, I mean, a heroin. I guess that's why I was just hoeing up on Justin Timberlily. Can't believe Justin was a heroin. You had decided in your mind that just and decided. Not only decided that Justin Timberlake did this, but they're just like, Justin Timberlake does heroin? Oh, my God. That's why I couldn't even think of anyone. I was like in my mind it was Justin Timberlake.

Not only does he do heroin, but he has to disregard for life in general. Well, women just got thrown in the drink. That's terrible. That's crazy. Who do you think it is? I would think Stephen Tyler. Yeah, it's got to be. I mean, that's really like the ultra power of doing whatever you want.

You know, I think that it is above the red hot chili peppers. Yeah, like would people who work for the red hot chili peppers be willing to cover up? I don't know. Red hot chili peppers are pretty big. I mean, they are, but I mean, that's generation. Like Stephen Tyler, like, if that happened in the late 90s at that point, they're like, I mean, what are we going to do? You're going to clean up around a body for red hot chili peppers or for air?

I mean, I guess I would do it for either one of them. I don't know. In 1999, red hot chili peppers. Well, I don't know. They were kind of, because, yeah, I guess Armageddon had just happened, so I don't want to miss a thing was pretty huge. But on the other hand, 1999, that was also Californiaication. The person who's cleaning up the hotel room is just listening to,

I don't want to miss the thing. Yeah. Well, he missed this one thing, but. That is the cool. And that's all we got time for today on page 7. Thanks everyone very much for listening. We'll talk to you all next week. Oh, thank you guys.

Love you. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to cavecomedyradio.com.