Page 7 - Episode 208: Thirst Quencher

Episode Date: July 7, 2017

Jackie, Molly, and Marcus try to figure out the Blac Chyna/Rob Kardashian fiasco and discuss Jackie's quest to be a Thirst Trap. Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Someone named Tiny. It's something to do with a threesome she had with someone named Tiny. Really? Yes. Well, maybe we can all figure it out on the way together. All right. Let's do it. Let's do it together. Welcome to Paint 7, everybody.

What happened? Trying to put this together post-Rab Kardashian breakdown is interesting to do. This whole Rob Kardashian black China thing. And also we have to say like first of all, right up top. Sorry for the slight echo that we have. We got a new studio. We just moved in and we haven't put up all the soundproofing yet, but we don't want to miss out on all the Cape Gummy radio shows.

But we do have a mini fridge. Mini fridge. It's a mini fridge thing. Man, it is a mini fridge thing in here. And there is nothing. I fucking love more than a fucking mini fridge. Say more. If I more.

I love a mini fridge. I wish I had a mini fridge. I wish I had a mini fridge. In college I had a mini fridge on my end table next to my bed. And it had everything I needed in it, including candy. For when I wanted cold candy. Cold candy is great. Yes, I love cold candy way more than room temperature candy.

Yeah. And I just, if I had my druthers, every house that I lived in, every room would have at least one and a half mini-fritges. It feels a little bit like a hotel. Yeah. Oh, I just realized I've got candy in the new desk. I can put that candy in the mini fridge. Travis is over next to the mini fridge. Travis, put this almond joy in the mini fridge.

Oh, you hit him in the head. I'm sorry, I thought you were looking. I accidentally hit him. I almost hit him in the head. Thank you. Thank you so much, Travis. Candy is in the fridge. Mini fridge.

It's a mini fridge thing. Don't come at me without a mini fridge. You could, now I, well, if you ever have a registry of any kind, I know I'm just going to get you, or any party, really, I'm just going to get you a mini fridge. Because you could put one in your room now, couldn't you? Oh, yeah. I don't know what I'm doing without one.

Because your normal fridge is a good 15 feet away. Yeah, but that's, I mean, when you're laying in bed and you need a cold thing, get a mini fridge. It's a mini fridge thing. It's true. Anything you get out of a mini fridge is more fun than from a regular fridge, even if it's a beer. Oh, especially if it's a beer. Yeah.

That or the problem is that there's not enough, there's not enough freezer in it so I can't put my vodka or my gin in it. But maybe we just deal with cold gin instead. I think we just got to go for cold gin. We got a little tiny, a little compartment for ice, so you won't have to drink the hot jizzies. That's perfect because hot jizzies in a hot studio is rough izzie's. I tell you what. Yep, we've got our air conditioner coming. We've got everything coming.

But, yeah, so Cape Comedy Radio is going to be a little bit bare bones for the moment. But, yeah, we're coming back with something new. We're having fun. Just wait, coming back with something new. Bownie, bown. And we here at page 7 have been missing you guys for a little while, and there's a lot to catch up on. Oh, yeah. We've been gone for a little bit.

I was in Texas last week. Oh, fun. Yeah, we went to the rodeo. Oh, man. Except there were no hogs at it. We talked about it on round table. But I didn't realize that there were no hogs at a rodeo. Is it one of those ones where the bulls go crazy?

Bulls go crazy. Oh, yes. They get mad. They all get mad and all right. Yes, it's bull riding. That sounds terrible for you, Molly, though. Are you against rodeos? You would have hated.

Actually, there was at one point we were watching some, like, someone like roped a captain I looked at it. I was like, man, Molly would hate this. Yeah, I like the idea of a lot of, like I would go to like a pig race. They have those in Minnesota. I would go to, I'm not inherently against the premise of a rodeo, but I don't like those videos of when the calves are angry and sad. So I don't think I would like it.

I would like the beer part of it. I would like the sitting outside part of it. Yes. Drinking beer outside while watching dudes ride really wild horses is pretty awesome. What about NASCAR though? Do you go to a NASCAR? I would rather go to a rodeo. Really? Well, that's probably not true. I feel less sympathy with, or I feel less,

I would be less upset about the cars, but I also don't like the smell of cars. I don't like watching cars go room, room. There's nothing about it. I would just be bored at a NASCAR. But do you know that Paul Hollywood is a race car driver? Who'd that? From Paul and Mary on the Great British fucking Bakeoff. I still haven't watched the Great British Breakoff because I've been too busy watching Property Brothers. And...

Ouch, Molly, I thought. But I got your friend... I know your friends now. Your friends Chip and Joanna Gaines from Fixer Up. That's sad. Oh, yeah, my friends. Yeah. On the show.

My friend's show. I was watching this television show for about two hours. And then I heard their name. I was like, these people are hot as fuck. And then I heard their names. I was like, they're Jackie's people. And then I texted Jackie and I said, is it Chip and Joanna Gaines who you like? And she just responded, hot.

Yeah, J-W-T. Uh-huh. God, they're so hot. Paul John Hollywood, 51 years old. Daddy? Yes, Daddy. He's a daddy. You have to see how steel blue his eyes are. All right, he's a daddy.

His hair is a little bit. The hair, he's almost, he's like a sexier European guy fieri, but like in a good way. Okay, I was going to say, because that's what you just said is a hard sell. No, in a good, like, in the opposite way. Whereas every like, like, yeah, Guy Fierdi says, he's like a, oh, well, that's a. I feel like Guy Fieri is the least European person on the planet. That's what I, yeah. As American, his guy Fiat he is, Paul Hollywood is European.

Okay, all right. That's actually a great way of selling somebody on me. I did find a better picture of him. He does have quite the piercing blue gay. Oh, okay. Yes. And he's just very good at what he does. Oh, yes.

And man, he hates a soggy bottom. So I better dry up. Fucking love Paul. He hates a soggy bottom, but a wet bottom, he's all right. Oh, yeah. That's a difference. But the things that what will make me dry up like a desert in my front parts is when I look at his Instagram sometimes because he likes to race cars.

So they're just these really serious pictures of him and is like all out like leather suit on. Just like staring into the camera. I have no judgment about people who like the cars. It just looks deeply boring to me. Like there is nothing exciting about a car. Except for the crashing. Yeah. The crashing is pretty great.

I mean, that's why you like hockey because they fight. Yeah, right. It's like sexy men fighting. Right. It's part of why people like rodeos because the cowboys get hurt a lot. Okay, but aren't you, don't you, are you rooting for the bulls or for the cowboys? You're rooting for the cowboys, but then when the cowboys get hurt by the bulls, everyone's like, oh my God, that's so terrible. Uh-huh.

Oh, no, that's horrible. Oh, that's horrible. But that is kind of what we came to see, but that is also horrible. That's exactly what they're rooting for see. be rooting for the bulls. Yeah. But get them. Get them.

Stick the horn in it. Stick the horn in it. Man, and then they get the horn in it. Unless I was having sex with one of the cowboys. And then I wouldn't be doing it. Oh, those horns can do some damage. I know a guy who has two butt holes. I bet.

But does the poop come out with both? That was going to be my question. No, it's just two butt holes as in like there's another hole in his butt from a gore, a bull gore. But not a functioning butt hole. Not a functioning butt hole. No, he's never got it all. Just a decorative.

Yeah, I got it hooked up. I'm sure if you wanted to get it hooked up, he could. You've got to rewire that a little bit, you know. So what is going on with Black China and Rob Kyrgyzha? Please, help. Okay, number one question. Is her first full name Black China, so you have to call her Black China, or do you call her Black? I think.

If her former person. partner calls her China, I assume we can call her China. We call her China. I mean, I've never seen her call Black B-L-A-C before. But at the same time, Travis was telling me because apparently he's a huge fan. He's not in June. And I just didn't know Black China was. What is she a thirst quencher? Thirst. What do you say? Thirst trap. Thirst trap.

Thirst quencher. Kind of a thirst quencher. Well, some people... Black China. The wonderful thirst quencher, Black China. Quintcher. Some people are referring to her as black as of her first name. So I'm just, I'm just not sure. The thing is, I just, every part of the story, I feel like I have only the faintest grasp. I mean, I think all around, neither one of them seems like the smartest person on earth. I will say that. I'm saying seems, Smalley, maybe they are and they're just choosing not to show it. Don't judge a book by its Instagram. You should, I mean, it's... Don't judge a book by all the evidence necessary. Everything it does and says.

It was a little. I mean, he just like, he just like went mad. And he was like yelling at her via tweeting and their Instagrams. And then he eventually, because she cheated on a bunch. But come on. He didn't cheat on her. It didn't seem like it was a match made in heaven. They broke up a really long time.

Not a really long time, but they broke up already. They had a kid. They broke up. That's what happened. It's over. Didn't they do that fun mannequin challenge in the, delivery room? Yes, they did.

And that was really fucking weird. Maybe that's what did it. It endeared them to me that at that time. I thought that was fun. Yeah, Kardashian posted on Wednesday, along with the video of trying to kissing a man in a bed. Come spend time with your daughter instead of fucking me and then this dude right after, you need help.

That's with the you. Oh, yeah. It was, I mean, you know, I know you got to fit it in in the tweets, but still, it's like, ah. That's Instagram. There's no limit. Oh, it's on Instagram. See, that's what the other one was that was just like, you and baby.

be we are fam way ha and I was just like why are you speaking like this is on Instagram you can write full words I mean I use the word bish liberally but you know what I like the word bish and it is technically a word to

me well across multiple Instagram post Kardashian also accused China of being disrespectful to him after he bought her a quarter million dollars of jewelry in one day he said a prob spent a million alone in the past two months 90K necklaces, 70K watch.

He also accused her of using drugs and getting plastic surgery after giving birth to their daughter. He said, I pay Hon K to do his surgery to get all everything fixed up as much as they could. Yeah, but then you know what she said back to him. Rob, you did all this, but you beat me up and tried to act.

It never happened. Oh. You put a hand on me, I swear on God. I'm my kids, but I'm supposed to be quiet because you, Kardashian. So that's, okay, so that's a piece of information. information I didn't know before. He hit her.

Okay, well, yeah, and he's mad. Okay, so even before I knew that piece of information, I was going to say I'm not really sympathetic to Rob Kardashian, because it sounds like nobody had a gun to his, and he spent a bunch of money on her, and then she cheated on him. She did a bunch of drugs, which, you know. Sure.

Yeah. I mean, if she's no longer pregnant, what does he care whether she's just doing drugs in, I mean, if she's not breastfeeding, doing drugs and having plastic surgery, that's her body. She's doing drugs with the kid around. That's bad. That's bad.

I'm not saying you should do drugs right after you have a kid. Is the kid around, though? Come on. Where that kid at? Ain't nobody know where that kid at. And Rob Kardashian accused her of having the baby with him, quote, out of spite. That is a devoted spite. I feel like, oh, anybody who has a baby with somebody out of spite is, you know, God bless you.

I mean, she gets great money for forever, right? From the Kardashian family? Yeah. I suppose so until everything falls apart and they become some of the most useful. people on earth, they get eaten first. Yeah, of course they will. It's because their butts are filled with fake. Did you guys hear that Kim Kardashian gave Beyonce like a bunch of baby clothes and then

Beyonce immediately gave them all to the hospital's tab. Donated it. Yeah, of course. I can't need it. Yeah, I think that that's just I. And then the same day there was a story that Beyonce like hid in an elevator to avoid Kim Kardashian at the Met now. Yeah, that they had an actual whole event organized.

or that's what it is. That worked it out so that Beyonce would not have to interact with Kim Kardashian at all. Wow. And that I just like, right, I think her giving away this stuff is probably, right, like she's Beyonce, she's like, I don't need anything, thank you. But the idea of her being like hiring somebody to be like, make sure she doesn't get anywhere near me. Don't really look at me.

Don't let her talk. Like, not even in the same, like, eye line of her. Is that out of just disdain or is it out of conflict or like? I believe it's just disdain. I think that like what it seems like, because there's no, she is, she is so good at playing the game that there are, I have not, I've looked for this to see if there was a quote of something Beyonce has said about Kim Kardashian and she hasn't. I just think that she simply doesn't want to want to deal with her. Doesn't want to deal with it because I mean, what do you talk to her about? I'm like, what do they talk about?

That's a good point. I would hire all sorts of people to keep certain people away from me. How awesome would that be? To have that in your life just be like, I want to banish this person from me, but don't send them to fucking Antarctica. I don't want to, like, Siberia doesn't deserve them. I just don't want to look at them. Make it seem like an accident that we never see each other or have to interact with each other ever again. Oh, that's awesome.

It's like an irrespective element when Lucille just says, I don't care for Job. Like, that's how I feel like, Beyonce is just like, I don't care for Kim Kardashian and I don't want to speak with her. And she doesn't have to. Yeah. Because she's wonderful. Anyway, Rob Kardashian. He's just a big fat monster. Yeah, he's just a big.

It sounds like he's a big baby. He spent a bunch of money on somebody and then they broke up with you. Sorry, if you spend a bunch of money on someone, you still don't own them. But also, this happened a while ago. Yeah. This isn't current. Yeah, I guess five months ago. Yeah.

So to get over it, man. So all the tweets were yesterday. Yes. And he tweeted nudes, right? Because he, quote, saved the fireworks for July 5th. That's what I read in an article. was like gross he should have saved them

for July 4th yeah I mean that's the thing if we're gonna do it but you know he's probably drinking all day I imagine what happened is that he did a bunch of fucking blow he was probably been up for like 36 hours

and then he was just like sitting there thinking like man man she cheated on me man and then he just went mad on fucking Twitter

but he is he is currently banned from Instagram and Twitter for a certain amount of time. Because of the nudes? Because, yeah, because of the nudes. Well, you shouldn't tweet nudes of somebody without their consent.

Yeah, I mean, I think you just shouldn't tweet nudes. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Okay, there's some other stuff going on here with the whole Kardashian Black China thing. Okay. Okay. So, Black, does that do with Chris?

Black China is the ex of Tiga. That's right. And Tiga, after the relationship fizzled, started dating. Kylie. Kylie. That's, I remember this because Kylie was quite young. 18, yes. And Taiga was like 25.

27. 27. And Taiga has a child with black China named King Cairo. Cool. Yeah, come on. Now that's a cool name. I feel like it's just like, go ahead, slap some scarab tattoos on that kid. Yeah, but King Cairo's never going to have like a summer job.

No, King. Kairos not. King. Yeah, King is fine. But you know, I mean, I would go by King Cairo if my name was fucking King Cairo. Yeah. Right? I'd be covered in gold all the time.

And I'd just be like, like every time I'd enter a room, like, make way for King Cairo. And like, just pretend wear Aladdin pants forever. But he's not the beggar. He's the rich Aladdin. I want a baby summit with King Cairo, St. West, and Sir Carter. Oof. That sounds like a big room of pain in the ass. Babies with titles as names.

Yeah, I don't know. It's too much. It's too much. Yeah, no, it is too much. Yeah, it's on the same level as Apple. They're just trying to be cool. Yes. And I mean, I guess they did it.

I wouldn't do it. But I also don't have billions of dollars. That is true. We also don't have billions of dollars. If you've got billions of dollars, you've got to give your kid a name that doubles as a title. You get billions of dollars, then you are legally required to ruin your child's life with their name. I'll name my child boss. I like that boss neffle.

Or like accountant or something. Just like. I actually boss neffle is pretty fucking cool. That's pretty fucking great. I'm going to call a juicy jacy, whether it's a girl or a boy. Boss neffle sounds like a late 1800s New York politician. Boss neffle, yeah, part of a political machine. I feel like he's really, he's a lot wider than he is smart.

That's the problem with boss neffle. Yeah, yeah, a bit of a... Like not fat, just... Broad. Yeah. Yeah. It has like, probably a bald head.

Like, what's his name in all the king's men? Huey something? Huey Louie. Hughie Lewis? Yeah, oh,

I'm thinking of Huey Lewis. In the news. You're thinking of Huey Lewis. Yeah. Not Huey Lewis. I was like, Hughie Lewis is in all the king's men? Yeah,

man, it's crazy. And then Don Endley pops out. It's like, what? Man. Good. Yeah, man. I got dirty lawn.

too. I love Don Henley. So, Anyway. King Cairo is the child of Taiga and Black China. Uh-huh. And so what does, how does this play into Rob Kardashian and Black China's relationship? I guess they're cool with it.

I mean, I think they've all kind of moved on. Yeah, but I wonder if she just wanted to be a part of the Kardashian, like, plan so that she could keep an eye on him. And now I think Taiga's out of the picture. at this point. Yeah, Taiga is gone, right? And now she's got a fucking kid, another kid. Yeah.

Dream. Dream. Dream. Dream. Dream. Dream Kardashian. Dream. Jesus fucking Christ.

These are my kids, King Cairo, and dream. Get out. Get out of here right now. God, but at the same time, she's fucking set for life, man. Yeah. She ain't got to do shit. She got to stop. But did she show Nip?

Travis? You don't know? He doesn't know. He doesn't know. Thirst quencher. Thirst quencher, Travis. Wait, so to rewind back to Thirst Trap, that just, what does that mean? That's somebody who folks.

To get likes for it. Yes, Thurst Trap, the Urban Dictionary is sexy photograph or flirty message posted on social media for the intent of causing others to publicly profess their attraction. Wow. Well, but isn't that? Woke up like this. I see. Are we all thirst traps on social media? I think we are thirst trapping.

I think there's some thirst trapping that is a little more obvious than others. But this is like this is like waking up and putting on a bra and taking a picture with like kissing, kissy face and then putting it on Instagram like woke up like this. Don't I look good. I see. And they didn't wake up like that. Don't sleep in a. Well, some people like sleeping in a bra. Not me.

Man. Hell yeah, girl. Who say it? Not this lady. Who's got two thumbs and does not like sleeping in a bra, this guy. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. I want to be one.

How do I be one? Can I make a lot of money doing it? A thirst trap? Yeah, quencher. I really like thirst quencher. It's like I'm giving you what you crave. I'm like an electrolyte. Yeah.

But I think a thirst quencher, you would have to actually be satisfying people and not just showing them your body. Yeah. I think you would have to, I think a thirst quencher is someone who has sex with people. Yeah, or it makes you come immediately when you look at their photo. Yeah. Oh, no, that's a special kind of power. I don't have that power. But what if I did?

I got to start working on it. I got to start clenching more. Doing kegles? I guess all around, like my shoulders too. Like I need to start getting more anxious. On your to do list to become a thirst quencher. Number one, cagels. Yeah, number two, yeah, get tighter.

which I mean you've got to be tighter to be a quencher. Right, guys. Do you support me or don't you? I support you. Thank you. Thank you guys. The quest of the quench. Quest of the quench.

I feel like Chris Kardashian is something to do with all of this. You know, I think she might. She's just such a meddle metal. Yeah, she's an orchestrator. And I think that something's going to come out down the line that Chris Kardashian had something to do with all of this. Like, even if it just came up to, like, poking holes in the fucking condoms. Just because she's a creep.

She's a weirdo creep. Is Rob Kardashian the, where is he in the birth order, you know, right in the middle? He's up in the tapper edge. Uh-huh. Because he's a true, I mean, he's a Kardashian. He's a Kardashian, not a Genner. Yeah, I'm checking out the family line. No, no, Courtney, Chloe's the oldest.

Which she got a bunch of shit because she posted like this really got very photoshopped picture of her, like pushing an ice cream cart. Yeah, I saw that. In the middle of all of it? That had to be Photoshop. She is not that small. Rob is the youngest out of the floor. Wow, man, he looks the oldest.

He doesn't have enough plastic surgery. It goes, Courtney, Kim, Chloe, Rob. Chloe is the one who might be OJ's, right? Chloe, yeah. Courtney, I couldn't tell you one thing about Courtney if I had to. Scott Dissick. She was married to Scott Dissick, and they have children together, and he's a pothead.

Okay. That's all I know, though. Okay. I've never really watched the show. I probably should. Yeah, one of my goals is to start watching Real Housewives, and then another goal is to at least watch some Kardashians. I mean, now that I am so in the thick of Party of Five,

it's like I don't even know what to do with myself. How's that going? Well, I love it. I love it, I love it, I love it, I love everything about it. Really? I wish I was more sexually attracted to what like the way like a coach Taylor Like there's no coach Taylor or

Riggins for me in this I'd like to watch the teen sex I love how over dramatic it is But like I don't look at Matthew Fox And be like Give it Give it The way I feel with Riggins

Or coach Taylor Could we could I see a picture of What's his name Matt Matthew Fox? Matthew Fox daring party of five Yes please Because I feel like I have a picture I feel like I remember thinking that the boys on Party of

were hot, but I can't. But the girls are way hotter in Party of Five than the dudes were. Okay. Oh, him. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, thank you.

Yeah. But, I mean, he got hotter as he got older once he was in Lost. Oh, he was in Lost. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He was the main character in Lost. Got you. He was definitely hotter and lost than he was in fucking Party Five. Is there another boy besides him?

Yeah. Scott Wolf. Scott Wolf. Yeah, his baby face one. Babyface, brother, which I'm not into that. That's not my fucking thing. Yeah, he's too baby-faced. Yeah.

Unless you were Leonardo DiCaprio and growing pains, no, no, thank you. No baby face for me. Yeah. I used to like a baby face, but that was when I was a baby myself. Yeah. Not for us, Marcus. Sorry. That's fine.

I don't know what else to do. Whatever. I did watch a weird. You don't have to be sexually attracted to me, okay? Neither one of you have to be. Baby face. I watched a great documentary that went into the Hulk Hogan sex tape versus Gawker. Oh, yeah.

How is that? It was interesting. Hulkogen's fucking crazy. But the whole thing is all crazy. Yeah, that story is a gigantic mess. I mean, it is crazy. Funded by a man who wants to drink the blood of young people. Yes, to make him younger.

And you know, it can't happen now. You can drink young people's blood? You can buy young people. There's a startup in which you can buy young people's blood. I bet he did he, did that dude invest in it? What's his name? Like, Fiener. Peter Thiel.

I guess that you don't drink it as much as you just put it in you. Yeah. You kind of, you do a transcephal. fusion you do a but you trade blood with a boy yeah I don't would you me yeah no I like my blood I like my blood if I were young though I would do it for an old person keep it mine I give my let's give our blood to people who are bleeding and who need it yeah but they will be bleeding once you cut them open and you got it but the baby boy's blood in yeah but there's already people are bleeding who need just regular blood of people of any age I would be more into like the sweat

of a child, you know? Like, I feel like that would give you more of its essence. Like a thimble? Yeah, thimble's worth. Would you do it? Do what with it? Swallow it. Rub it in your hair as a styling product.

That I would definitely do. That's something I can get into. And it gives you a youthful glow. Oh, ugh. You just got grossed out. You were the one who suggested we harvest the sweat of children. Well, because I don't want to put it on my skin. I would drink it.

I wouldn't put on my skin. Oh, really, you're more grossed out by the idea of putting sweat on your skin. So you're saying you would rather lick a sweaty child than hug a sweaty child? You know what? Say hi to your aunt Jackie. Maybe. Come here, little bit. She's got to get her licks in.

Mommy, I don't want to see that in Jackie. They were these weird, British nieces and nephews I've got somewhere. Mommy, no. Don't make me. And Jackie licks far too much. Ah. And it's so forceful. The last time she licks me until I was on the floor, on the ground.

She kept talking about how great she felt. Oh, God, I can't wait to do that to a kid. Come here, find one for me. All right, so on for the list. Who's on the list? My guess, got to have that list. Celebrities who have been in a coma. Oh, Sandra Bullock while you were sleeping.

No, that wasn't in real life. IRL? IRL. Okay. Of course, Lamar Odom, the most recent coma. Drug addict. C. Was he friends with the Kardashians?

He was Chloe Kardashian's ex-wife. That's right. Husband. He was her ex-husband, yes. Remember, oh, see, that was a big thing. He's very tall. And they tried to make it work. He's a basketball player?

Yes. Mm-hmm. Yep. Oh, remember I had the perfume? Yes. Unbreakable. Yes. And they were breakable. Ozzie went into a coma once.

After an ATV accident, not a drug center. Wow. Interesting. Yeah, had an ATV accident, broke his collar, eight fractured ribs that pinched several blood vessels and damaged his vertebrae in his neck. I wonder if that did contribute to how he speaks, though. No, this is in 2003. Oh, okay.

I've been like that. Can't believe that in 2003 he had the stamina to wake up from a coma. Mm-hmm. And right in ATV. After eight days. Wow. Wow, that's crazy. Good for him.

I bet Sharon was hoping he was done. I'm phoning me done with this bloody bugger. Goodbye y'all. Sleep tight Bert Reynolds He was in a coma He was trying to kick drug addiction And slipped into a coma for eight hours

What? That makes it sound like he just was sitting at home Trying not to do drugs And then just Loops into a coma Oh no There we go Well he said he could hear doctors saying We're losing him

We're losing Bert Man that's scary You know what comas are very scary Yeah they are I just like hearing a bunch of shit being like, I'm here inside. Let me out. Just forever.

That's the scariest. That is scary. Sharon Stone was in a coma. She had a brain aneurysm in 2009 or 2001. Man, don't even get into fucking brain aneurysms. Man, there's just so many ways for you to just die. Just out. Over.

Gone. Done. Instantly. Or come back if you're Sharon Stone. Has she talked about it? Has she written a memoir? I would read it. She was just in a coma for nine days.

Said she saw a white light but didn't go towards it. Have you guys noticed that Sharon Stone is on like every list we do? Yeah. Yeah. I wonder if she's a liar. She's keeping herself in the headlines. That's for sure. Wait a second.

Little Wayne. He's epileptic. Oh. Wait, epilepsy can give you a coma? Yeah. Oh yeah, seizures are no joke Mm-hmm Tongue still a wound

Wow, well, Lil Wayne Yeah Which one's that one? Maybe a song, Molly Oh, a song Six nine, damn we're fine It's like until we one more time Getting low

Is that Lowell Wayne? I get Lil Wayne and Lil' John's songs No frauds Sucker for Pain, Mirror Forever Mirror Mirror Mirror Mirror Mirror Mirror That's what Mirror Forever sounds like. No. The Mirror is one song and Forever is another song.

Mirror is a song he did. It's the word mirror forever. Mirror, mirror, mirror, mirror, mirror, mirror, mirror, mirror. This is the song he did with Bruno Mars. No, I'd rather listen to, what is it on the floor? Versace on the floor. He's like talking about having sex with that girl. That's Bruno Mars.

Yeah, it's Bruno Mars. It's sexy. I love Bruno Mars. Yeah. You know this song. Uh-huh. Marcus looks so much. Fucking, I hate it so much.

I fucking hate it. I love him. It's clothing store music. Yeah, it is. Yeah, I don't feel passion for Bruno Mars. I feel respect. but not passion. I don't feel what you're feeling.

You're obviously feeling quite a bit right now. Martin Lawrence. Wow. Yeah, Martin. He had a heat stroke in 1999. He was wearing several layers of clothing while jogging in the heat in an attempt to lose weight for a roll. That's terrifying. That is terrifying.

Heat stroke will get you. Yeah. It'll boil her brain. I had a heat stroke when I was three. The babysitter left me outside in 105-degree Texas heat for two or three hours. Hours? Almost died. How did she leave you outside?

She was evil. Was she evil? Yeah. Back, I feel like even when we were kids, which was not even, I think parents were maybe slightly more aware than when they were even before. But when we were kids, like, I had friends with parents who would just be like, go outside and then, like, weren't allowed back in for like five or six. six hours, completely unsupervised, regardless of the external temperature. Like, I feel like that happened more often. Yeah.

It's terrible. And you know what? We survived. Yeah. Well, barely. Barely. That one, that one, there should have been some oversight on that one. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Once you get to like 100,500, 10 degree Texas summer days, like, you don't leave three-year-olds out in that. No. No. But if it's like 95 and they're like six, eight hours. That's the difference. Yeah.

It's a 20-degree difference three-year. Age edition. That's it. Wow. You got to have a child old enough to know how to keep themselves cool. And access to things to make them keep cool, like a sprinkler. He's throw him out there with a hose. He keeps him out there with a house.

He's got my fine. Yeah. As long as he knows how to use the hose. No, I wouldn't have known. I think at 12, I still didn't know how to use a hose. Yeah, but you're a city kid. Yeah, it's true. You throw you in front of the fire hydrant. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, but we didn't know how to open the fire hydrant. We were just hoping one of the more experience. Thieving children knew how to get the fire hydrant open. There was always one on every block, though. That knew how to do it. You should have to wait and sit and stare off the stoop. Like, was he here?

Was he coming? Open it up. And then they leave it. Disgusting water. It's open all summer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Gary Busey, course, in 88, you know all about that. Oh, yeah.

Motorcycle accident. No helmet. cracked his skull open. Billy Holiday. Is that why he is a little bit... Partly why. He was already a little weird, but that's partly why he's so out of his mind now. That's where it comes up with all the acronyms for everything.

Mickey Rourke. What about Mickey Rourke? He used to be hot and then he got unhot. Gary Busey used to be hot? I mean, he was hotter than he is now. I wouldn't say hot. I guess I'm thinking of... I said Billy Holiday.

I meant, what's the name? Billy Jean. Billy Idol. Do do do do do, do, do, do. Buddy Holly. Yes. You know, I just... Why did you say Buddy Holly?

Do, do, do, do, do. Buddy Holly, yeah. Gary Busey played Buddy Holly in the Buddy Holly story. Oh, thank you. Okay. That was a journey that you took a sign of my... It was all inside of my... I know.

What Buddy Holly songs? Do, do, do, do. It was dream. Dream. That's the Everly Brothers. Oh, no, so it wasn't that one. It's something in the movie. Okay, yeah, now I get Dream, yeah.

Out of that. Thank you. Jesus. I was having it. He was better looking then. Buddy Holly or Gary Busy? Gary Bucy. You ever heard any Gary Bucy's acronyms?

I think I have. Like, team. Together, everyone achieves more. I like that one though Romance Relying on Magnificent and Necessary

Compatible Energy That's really long That's such a long one I love it Bully Big ugly loud Loser Yahoo I like that one

Faith fantastic Adventures and trusting him Wow Him with a capital He's very good at this Oh yeah Sober Son of a bitch

Everything's real I love that Wow Freedom Facing real exciting Energy Developing out of miracles.

That's, I don't know. Son of a bitch, everything's real, is a fantastic shirt idea. Yeah, that is a great, that's a great representation of sobriety too. Hat, hiding a toupee.

That's why. Lady Gaga, love and dance yearly giving and gorgeous artist. That's a good one. My personal favorite, fear, false evidence appearing real.

I mean, some of them are like, feel like he's got like lightning strikes of brilliance. Yeah. And then some that are just unnecessary. Hiding a toupee. Come on. We need that.

Call it a hat. We need to make that word hat longer. Or let's wrap it up. Gone. Getting over negative energy. I like it. Gone. I want a t-shirt of at least four of those.

Yeah, they would all, you could have one t-shirt with as many as you could fit on. That is true. Or just one more. Failing. finding an important lesson inviting needed growth. See, that's good. I want to use that with my students. That's a good one.

Children, today we're going to learn about Gary Bucy's acronym. Don't look into him too far. Just listen to these acronyms. Please don't ever look into this. He is the best. I always get him confused with the guy that had the reality. We talked about this so many times. The guy with the reality show, Ted Nugent.

Yeah, Ted Nugent. No, they're two different people. Very different people, but I get them confused. Although both of them are just a phone call away from Donald Trump. That's the thing. Because Gary Bussey was on Celebrity Apprentice. That's right. Which is where a lot of these come from.

And they're both very bold people. Oh, yes. They're bold. Bold. Oh, bold they are. Also, who's bold is Lindsay Lohan, who just came out defending President Trump. Oh, that is bold. Don't be a hashtag bully America.

She was like, this is our president. You better. start liking him. She told America not to be a bully to be a bully. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was pretty funny, though. And what is a bully? Do we remember?

Uh-oh. Bringing. Ugly, loud. Yahoo. Big, ugly, loud, loser, Yahoo. Loser Yahoo. Big ugly, loud loser, Yahoo. Bullie.

Big ugly loud loser, Yahoo. That's a tattoo. straight up, tramp stamp. It starts mid back and then Y culminates. Out your ass crack. Big ugly, loud loser. Yahoo! But you imagine having Yahoo written on your ass?

You could totally make the Y into like the line is your butt crack and then the Y's, the two hats of the Y come out at the top. Yeah. I think I can do that. I don't know. Fear would be pretty good. False evidence appearing real. Yes. I like that a lot.

That's a chest tattoo. Yeah. But you also have to do it backwards so you can read it when you can read it. you look in the mirror. You're right. So you can support yourself. It's very Rooseveltian, but it also suggests that there's nothing to actually be afraid of, which I feel like.

Which is interestingly great. You can read a lot into Gary Busey's acrony. I mean, but they were all made on the list. Some of them were. Apprentice. Apprentice. Some of them, I think he came up with during the I'm with Busey year. Oh, okay.

And that's also why I get them confused. Mm-hmm. Because, Gere Bucent. Yeah, because Gary Busey did have a reality show long before

called I'm with Bucy that was just about a kid who really liked Gary Bucy. That is actually a great fucking show. It's amazing. It's early, mid-90s actually. Yeah, I remember.

I was on Comedy Central. Yeah, yeah. A dude hanging out with Gary Bucy, that was the whole show. Yeah, there was a whole episode where Gary Bucy just wore a football helmet and then we'd just randomly hit the kid

with the football helmet and tell him that he was teaching him a lesson, but wouldn't tell him what the lesson was. Yeah, I do remember that. That wasn't Comedy Central's kind of experimental comedy phase. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

It's really good, though. It's wonderful. All right, it's time for Blind Addie. Oh, yeah, see up. This A-list actor lost a lot of weight for a movie several years ago, and unlike the vast majority, he did it in such an unhealthy way that he caused permanent damage to his liver and caused an imbalance in his chemical equilibrium.

What? Jonah Hill. No, he didn't do it for a roll He just did it because of cocaine Oh, I thought he was in it for Moneyball Not Andrew Garfield, that's too recent, right? No, no, I'm talking like pretty extreme Like super muscle dude to super skinny

Oh, fuck I feel like it's on the tip of my tongue You might have seen this movie Like really, really skinny Oh, uh, Christian Bill Yes What?

Man, I just fucking threw that out there, thank you Thank you. The machinist. Yeah, man, that was gross. He was gross. He was gross. I mean, I know we did it for the thing, but, like, still, it was like almost too much. Now his equilibrium is all bad.

Yeah. But what does that mean? What does what mean? His equilibrium being bad? I have no idea what his equilibrium being bad. It doesn't sound like a medical diagnosis, to be honest. No, I think. I mean, it is from the blind items.

Yeah, but also, but then didn't he go right back into it? To, uh... Batman. Yeah, he did the machinist, and then he did Batman. Damn. Yeah. So he went, whew,

I mean, he also just probably got crazy brain. It's like, well, how do I eat today? I don't remember. I think he ate only an apple a day.

And that was it. Does not. But I know that he, like, worked out a lot too because, like, he was still muscular.

He just had absolutely no fat. Yeah. It was really strange. Ugh, he was so gross. I didn't even watch the whole movie

because he's a, he's a squirt box for me and I fucking couldn't deal with it. I could. He's a thirst quencher. Oh, yeah, he's a thirst quencher. See, he doesn't even have to do the thing. Mm-mm.

I gotta get good at it. Next up, you may have heard about this A-list actor's meltdowns in the past, but there's one that you've definitely not heard of, and it's by far his worst. This A-list actor was traveling on a transatlantic flight in first class, of course, when he started freaking out about the plane being hijacked by aliens or goblins, depending on who you ask after a loud semi-racist tirade.

A source whispered, he attempted to break open the plane door and flight attendants had to tackle him and take him back to his seat. Another source speculates the actor was drunk or quote-unquote high on rocks at the time. Whoa. But his agent in L.A. managed to clear the mess up

with a few big fat paydays and a few threats to the airline. Tom Cruise. Not Johnny Depp, not Tom Cruise. Mel Gibson. Not that big, but like a little, just below. Because those guys are A-plus list. This guy's A-list, but I wouldn't say he's A-plus list.

A-list melt-downer. But he doesn't melt-downer. He's the guy that you look at him and you think he should be melting down a lot more than he is, but I think he does, but I think they gloss over it pretty well. Brad Pitt? Not Brad Pitt. Not quite that. You're still in A-plus territory, yeah.

We've got to go down if you're not. Just got to go down a peg. We've got to go down a peg, but it's an actor. It's an actor who shares a role with our last blind item man. Christian Bill is just a role. Oh, so he was Batman. Michael Keaton. Oh, no.

I was about to say, but don't kill me. Ooh, did you guys see the founder? No. It was awesome. McDonald's? Yeah. It was good? It's great.

Yeah, yeah. Watched it on an airplane. George Clooney. He's A plus. Nope. You're still going. You got to keep going. Who else is Batman?

The New. Ben Affleck. Oh, is he? Oh, is he? He's not A plus? He's not A plus. He's not A plus. Whoa.

Oh, yeah, he's been having bad, bad, bad, bad times. Yeah, he seems tense. The man's having bad times. Well, I mean, he finally went through rehab, and then immediately slap, slap, slap, slap without a divorce. Mm-hmm. Oh, he got slapped with it. And, um, I mean, it was nice that she waited until he was clean and now it's like, is he clean? Yeah.

They weren't divorced yet? No, she waited. They were like working on stuff. Basically, she did that to get him to go to rehab. Mm-hmm. And then when he got out, was then she was like, yeah, I was getting, well, like getting the divorce. Congratulations. Sorry.

Yeah, you're queen. You did it. That's bad. I just love, although at the same time it kind of makes me feel better about myself, when I see all the paparazzi pictures of him just like desperately smoking a cigarette. I'm just like, man, I've been there. I've been there before, dude. And last up, this is a short one. another bodyguard, another affair

for this married A-plus list reality star. Kim Kardashian. Oh yeah, it's always King Kardashian. Yeah, of course. It's always Kim Kardashian. Because it's always on the tip of everybody's lips that they're going to get into wars. Always.

And the fact now that she's being a surrogate, which I think is absolutely fantastic. Yeah, good for her. Go for her with that. But also at the same time, why? Why are you having another kid with this person? It's like, stop. Just stop.

Unless she wants to just pop, pop, pop. And then family is done. And she can continue on being whatever she wants to be, which I am assuming is what it was. Well, this is a picture right here that shows him the bodyguard lightly, lightly grazing Kim Kardashian's butt. Man, that is quite a graze. And you can't miss that ass from an airplane. Yeah, and that's definitely not how you help someone into a door. Into a door by grabbing their ass and pushing them via their ass.

Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap to butt, bud. Bud, buddy, tap, tap, tap. Oh, do I got to keep going? Like a little, like, trot. But buddy, tap, tap, tat. Tap, Tandy, butt. I'm moving. I'm going.

That's all we have time for on today's page seven. That sounds quite hot to her credit. Oh, yeah. You tapy, tap, and I'll keep going. Ooh, you keep tapy tap. All right. And thank everyone for listening. And we'll talk to you all next week.

We don't come at me without a mini-fridge. It's a mini fridge It's a mini fridge thing It's a mini fridge thing I love a mini fridge I love a mini fridge