Episode 209: All About Britney
00:00I can't make you love me if you don't.You can't, you know, the problem with Bonnie Raid is you can't really sing it if you're not Bonnie Raid.Yeah.I saw Bonnie Raid the other night.Just physically saw her.Like, that was really cool.This is Ed's life.I feel like anything I say, Ed's like, you know, actually Frank Sinatra came back.
00:22Yeah.And we talked for like a half an hour the other day.She was in a room that Frank Sinatra used to play in all the time.Jackson Brown got on.stages of about 30 people and he played songs that was beautiful.I got to shake his hand.Well, you know who I saw when I was in L.A.Who?
00:37And line at Starbucks.Who?Clancy Brown.Who's that?He sounds great and I definitely want to know him.He's awesome.Did you see Pet Cemetery too?Yeah.
00:50The stepfather.No brain, no pain?Yeah.No brain, no pain.That's amazing.It was one of those, like, I walked up.Henry's waiting for me in the car.And he was in the drive-thru, and he had his
01:00window down and he was hugeand he's a big man in a little carand he was talking to somebodyon the phone and I think that's Clancy Brownand then I edged closer to his car I was likeoh I know that voiceno brain no payand I wanted to tell him that too
01:16I just wanted to why by like no brain no brainbro oh wait wait waityou didn't do anything you didn't say anythingI didn't say anything well he was on the phonehe was either on the phone or he was justquietly talking to himself in his caryeah those kind of people thoughappreciate that, you know, because they don't get as much.
01:31They don't get it. Yeah. Yeah, they reallydon't get it as much, but I was, I was,that was one of the most exciting celebritysightings I've ever had in Los Angeles.My favorite celebrity sighting of all time wasin New York. I was working at the Philly Cheese Steakrestaurant and Morifrom Goodfellas came in.
01:48I thought you meant Moory Povich.No, no, no, no, no, but Mori, the guy who gets killedin the back, with the ice pick to the back of his head.He's like, owes him a bunch of money. He's like,give me my fucking money, Maury.He's like, I was like, I was like,Maury. And he's like, yes, his hello.And I was like, Maury's Wings.
02:04And I like jump backwards.I was jumping into a pool.And he's just like laughing.I was like, whatever you want.Whatever you want.That sounds like fun.Yeah, he's a great guy.I'm sure he's dead.
02:16Yeah, I'm sure.Yeah, you know.Nancy Brown was very much live.He was also in Carnival.He was wonderful in that.He was in like a couple of episodes of Lost.He's been in a ton of stuff.You know who I'm talking about, right, Jackie?
02:26Oh, hell yeah, I do.Man, Carnival.Carnival is fucking great.Yeah, he was the preacher in Carnival.Oh, I know it, baby.I'm weirdly attracted to him.Yeah, I can see that.There's just something about him that he's just like evil and kind of bad.
02:38Yeah, but sinister looking.Oh, yeah.But that's why he's so great as the priest.And he's just like, ooh, he's a bad man, but ooh, I kind of want to F's.He's a very versatile performer.And also a very personal performer.Starship Troopers.I forgot he was in that.
02:54Hell yeah.He was.I don't know, any of their name.I think he was the drill instructor.No, that was Ironside.No, no, no, that was absolutely not.No, no, he was an instructor Zim.Oh, okay.
03:06Because remember he, like, when the bugs attacked, he got, and it was all due to a privatenamed Zim.Oh, okay.And Ironside was the other one.Oh, come on.Oh, come on.What are you doing, Marcus?Iron Sides was the teacher.
03:20Oh, okay.Yeah, yeah.The answer was the teacher, and Clancy Brown was the drill instructor.I got another spoiler for Starship Troopers.Denise Richards has boobies.She got themNot anymore thoughNot after all those kids
03:33It's not her boobies that you see thoughIt's the redheadsWhat?Dizzy's yeahYou never see Denise RichardsBootsYou see Janice Richard's boobsYou see Janice Richard's boobs
03:39In Wild ThingsI like my memoriesBetter than yoursYeah but Wild Things is pretty fucking greatAlso Nev GambleWho I am trying to beReally?New thing
03:49I was never a big NevYeahNeh so I don't know what it isI think it's justIt's like the upset faceShe does have a constant upsetThat I just want to like slap herAnd then like kiss her really rough.
04:00I don't know if it's upset.It's more hurt.She constantly looks hurt.Emotionally.If I'm going for that, I want Shannon Doherty.Yeah.But that's a different kind of upset.Yeah, you know, she's got, you know, health issues probably.
04:11Yeah, she does.Got to.Pretty positive.I think she had cancer for a little while.Oh, that's right.Cancer, schmanza.She was in Red Shoe Dyeries one time.Was she?
04:22Yeah, yeah, yeah.You ever notice how much further up one of her eyes is than the other one?Never noticed.Yeah.Her eyes are.Like one of her eyes is a lot higher than the other one.I like a girl's kind of fucked up looking.I mean, yeah, because the more fucked up looking they are, the more easy they are to bang.
04:37Or, you know, the better personality they have.Sure.Yeah, yeah.Because they've been through the ringer, you know?Yeah, just why?Because one eye is higher than the other.Yeah, people are fucking ruthless.Yeah, I guess that's true.
04:46Check it out.One eye definitely higher than the other.Oh, well, that's kind of from the, oh, yeah.Oh, yeah.Yeah.Her mom probably sat on her wrong.Because, you know, moms, when they're sitting on you, you got to sit on.on them right. Moms be sitting.
05:00They love sitting. They love sitting.fucking lazy moms.Oh yeah, welcome to page seveneverybody. Oh yeah. Thank you so much.14, 456.We got seven. Mollies on herewith us today. Yes, I am.No, Molly. I'm here. I'm here
05:18and I'm bigger than before.God, if Molly, if you gained that much weightin two weeks, you got a glandularproblem and we got to get you to a doctor.I got my throat widened, soI could take more food.Molly would do that.That's so Molly.
05:33That is a Molly diet.That's so Molly.I think women should be president.That is an okay thing to think.Absolutely.I'm Molly Neffle and I've right to think whatever I like.You are very right.Just like how great this fucking mini fridge is.
05:51Man, once we get this visy, jizzy water cooler up in this piece, we're getting a fridge?We got a mini fridge.Where's your fucking head at?I'm sorry.It's a tiny. We're getting a bigger mini fridge.Travis bought too small of a mini fridge, so we're going to get one twice that size.Oh man, you're keeping the old one too, right?Well, I don't know.
06:09You should have one right behind you.Keep that one right behind you so you don't even have to get up.Yep, they make noise.Oh, yeah.Who cares?But what is this?What is people are listening to this?Is it doesn't it make, I would rather you be able to just bend back and be like, I need a Pepsi.
06:26Yeah, it's more of like a reality.It's like we're hanging out in someone's kitchen, you know, sometimes.I don't want to hang out in a professional studio.I don't want to hang out in someone's kitchen.You can always find me at the party.I'm in the kitchen.That's where all the good conversations are.Always, yeah.
06:40That's where you make the deals in the kitchen.That's what food is, too.I want to live in a kitchen.I want to live in the Black Lodge, which is why I've built this place to look like the Black Lodge from Twin Peaks.But also, Marcus has deemed it as such, the podcast palace.The podcast palace.Pee Pee, Pee, I got Pee.We got Pee.
06:57We are up in a piece.Welcome to the peepee everybody.Welcome to the peepee.Welcome to the pee.You have to say that every time someone comes in, though.Welcome to the peepie.Get out in the peepee.Look at a good seltzer downstairs.
07:07Days.That's not a real salsa.Seltzer for days.So what's going on in the world of celebrity?You know, I don't know if it has to do with how hot it's been,but I feel like things have been a little slow.Things have slowed down, yes.That's because people, you know, you can't really talk up anymore.
07:25Everyone's on vacation, really, I feel like this.Things are always, everything's all weird and wacky in July.No, topless picks from Malibu or whatever?No, but, I mean, there's some picks of Aaron Carter that are a little rough.What happened?You got big?No, man.Arrested for a DUI.
07:42Oh, well, whatever.It's not.He is, it's bad.Where was he, Orlando?It feels an Orlando up, then it is bad.I don't know where he was.He seems like an Orlando guy.But the problem is that he openly now, he's like, I didn't, I don't drink alcohol.
07:57I never drink alcohol.I'm on medications that I can't, and I've got a condition, and I don't drink.Did you say Aaron Carter?Aaron Carter.Aaron Carter.The hurricane?Oh, it's Ruben Carter.It's like the Bob Dylan song, Eric.
08:11Yeah, he's thinking of the hurricane.I'm talking about Nick Carter, the Backstreet Boys' younger brother, who was like a pop star.Orlando, this is very Orlando people.I'm sure because he looks like he's been hitting that meth.He does look like a meth boy, yeah.That's too bad.He's covered a chance.He does not drink alcohol at all.
08:29That was the 29-year-old singer's story during a weepy in review Tuesday with entertainment tonight following his recent DUI arrest outside an auto zone in rural Georgia.Oh, man, he was far from home.So close.But outside of an auto zone as well.So, you know, maybe he's getting something right.Yeah, he's fixing that car.Getting in his own.The auto zone.
08:54Actually, I found a blind item by.him earlier.Ooh.Is it about how he most certainly does drink?This former A-Lis tween singer who was closeted and trying to hide his drugaddictions was like a kid in a candy store this past weekend for Pride.He had a hellacious 24-hour guy and booze and coke bender for the ages.Not good for him.
09:14That sounds fun though.But you can't get in a car and do it.No, you can't.You can do that all day long, but you can't get in a car and do it.That's why it's hard to celebrate Pride in Georgia.It's like coming up to New York.So much easier.Then you can do all the blow you want, blow all the blones you want,
09:30and then you can get on a train, get on home.He was in L.A.What are you going to do?He said, oh, wow.Yeah, he suggested that on his way to pride,he suggested he was going to bring a gun.Oh, come on, you idiot.He performed at the parade.
09:45He said he regrets suggesting he'll not only pack heat at the L.A. Pride parade this weekend,but he'd shoot anyone who came for his fans.And he said he's ready to fight terrorists with his own brand of terror.A gun.Cool.Lock him up.Really honestly, just get rid of him.It's like, nobody cares.
10:02I can't believe he performed at the Pride Parade.It's like, who care?I mean, really honestly, who cares about him anymore?The only reason why he even brought upis because the fact that he said that he doesn't drink anymoreand he definitely fucking does.Oh, yeah.Unless he's just doing,
10:15or he just does insane hard drugs.Like, but I don't drink.So, DUI.Doesn't that still counts for drugs?Yeah, absolutely.Dude is looking bad.Oh, man, too many neck tattoos.It's too many neck tattoos.
10:28And he's got those lines in his head.You just got to make sure you look decent if you're going to go on television.Yeah, especially if you're all, at least, but he was like crying about it, but he's got meth mouth.Oh, God, he's got meth ears and lips and nyes as well.Meth head.He's a meth head.He's a meth head.He's a method.
10:48That's why they call it meth head because you get a meth head.Yeah.And you really, you ever seen those things where it shows people doing meth like pictures of their mug shotsover the course of 15 years.Yeah, it's crazy.It's a thing.And they're always beautiful when they start.Oh, yeah.
11:02No, it's definitely a thing.You know what?He just, uh, he's not relevant anymore.I don't understand drugs sometimes.I hate to sound incredibly naive, but like, why?Who's got the tide?I think that they just like can't afford blow anymore after he's not a, as, he's nota superstar anymore.
11:19And he still wants to get like high and do whatever with his brohans.They just like meth, like a way it makes him feel.That's the thing is that at first it's really awesome.And then you can't really feel awesome anymore.You never get back to that original high.So you keep doing it trying to get back to that original high.Yeah, I hear about them smoking their teeth and stuff.Yeah.
11:38This is crazy.And it, but also lasts a really long time, though, doesn't it?It lasts a very long time.And that's the best part.So at first you're like, oh, man, this is great.And get a little bit and it lasts so long.But then you keep doing it and keep doing it.Really?
11:50I didn't know it lasted long.Yeah, at first.Like acid long?I don't think it's acid long.But I think you do stay high for a long time.Okay.I think.I mean, I'm not a meth guy.
12:00I don't know.I was, I am.No, I'm not.I've never done meth before, so I can't say for sure.But I think, I think a meth high lasts quite a while.I never done it.I've seen someone do it.I got mad.
12:11I've told him to leave.Yeah, it's too much.Also, smells gross.Yeah.Come on.Wow.Anywhere from 8 to 24 hours.Wow.
12:18That is acid long.Mm-hmm.Yeah, but half of the drug is removed from the body in 12 hours.Got a half life at 12 hours.Oh, okay.Yeah, but you're still, you know, halfway messed up for, you know, for 12 hours after that.Half meth.Sometimes you're just got to get to that half-meth.
12:35I don't.I don't want anything to do with him.I didn't even thought about Aaron Carter since, you know, the first time someone made me think about it.Who has?Yeah.I don't know if I've ever actually thought about Aaron Carter.Like, I don't know if that name has ever been in my brain before.Sometimes, oh, it's a backstreet boy little brother.
12:51Yeah, pretty much.Yeah.They're doing all right.Backstreet boys?They're back.They're coming back, baby.Back Street's back?Back Street's back.
12:58All right.Man, you know what's weird is we don't have to do it now, but I didn't realize that I knew all the words to that song.Backstreet's back all right?Yeah, I had no idea.There's like 20 words in it.Some people were singing it, and I joined along, and I was like, fuck, this is just flying out of my mouth.It's just everybody.Yeah.
13:17Rock your body.Yeah.But, like, I hate the song.Of course you do.Everybody.Rock your body right.Back streets back all right.That's the whole song.
13:31Yeah.I guess it is easy in other words.Oh, yeah.There's not a whole lot.Although, no, there's all.They got some persons.Back again.But they were just on someone's album.
13:43Someone cool had them on their album.I can't remember who it was at the top.Was it someone cool?Because I thought that they were also doing it.They did some sort of collaboration with a really terrible country artist.as well.I didn't hear about that.I just remember that I watched the music video for it.
13:59God damn, I can't remember I was.Probably Luke Bryan or something.It was something, but they were all on a beachand they were singing with them.I think it was like a little big townor like one of those kind of therewere the Florida Georgia line.It was like something like that.
14:11You ever actually looked up the lyricsto Back Streets Back All right?Do you know what it actually says?What?Says, oh my God, we're back again.Brothers and sisters, everybody sing.Gunnish, bring you the,flavor show.
14:25Ooh.No, no,I'm going to bring youthe flavor showyou how.Oh, okay.I'm like,the flavor show.
14:32Did they guyfiati?Yeah, got a,got a,got a question for you.Better answer now.Yeah.Am I original?
14:40Yeah.Am I the one?Yeah.Am I sexual?Oh,am I sexual?Am I everythingyou need?
14:49You better rock yourbody now.Everybody, yeah.Rock your party.Yeah.Everybody, rock your body.All right.your hands in the air and wave them around like you just don't care yeah and if you want to party let
14:59me hear you yell because we've got it going on again 97 to 2005 was the worst time for music inthis world it was pretty bad for popular music yeah it was pretty rough it was pretty rough it's stillit's still continuing it's like 97 it just kind of went down and it's never gotten back up againthere's some good stuff you know but it's not that popular yeah but have you seen i don't know if youremember christina aguilaryhis stomach in the genie in a bottle music video.I do. That stomach was the most perfect stomach I've ever seen in my life.I remember. That was the star. They worked on it. We had a joke on the burn when she got big.
15:36We're like, oh, is a genie in a bottle? Now she's picking a blanket.I know. It's mean. That's too mean. I like my ex-Tina.I like her too. She's one of my favorites of all of them. I think she's fantastic.I'm a Brittany gal though. You are? Yeah. I think I like Christina. Or, you know,To be honest, Shakira.Well, I mean, Shakira's...That's in a Latino population.You're not allowed in.
16:01You can't bring Shakira in.Shakira's got, like, true musical talent.Have you ever heard her, like, pre-American stuff?No.You know, the stuff back at, like, yeah, she wrote her own songs, play guitar.She was pretty fucking cool.Girlfriends, girlfriend's a big Shakira fan.I mean, how can you not be?
16:15Yeah.She can move.Oh, yeah.The hips don't lie.I never seen nothing like that.Yeah.I remember the first time I saw her on television.You know, I've heard of her.
16:22I never really cared.You know, I didn't watch anything.I saw it, I was like, whoa, I was blown away.I'm still going to be a Britney gal.Yeah?Is it because of the comeback or just because she's sexy?Just in general.She got a good attitude.
16:36I just like the whole package, you know?I like the mental breakdown and shaving her head and coming back and just being weirdand the whole MK Ultra thing.She's great.Yeah, she's pretty cool now.And also the fact that, like, she's made fun for it all the time.She's like, yeah.And it keeps going.
16:50Like, she just simply doesn't care.Like, it's like, she can just throw.grow gobs of moneybe like yeah but look at my moneyyeah I'm Britney Spareswhateveryou know it's just methis is Britney
17:02she drinks a Pepsi and everything's greateveryone goes yay Britneyyeahremember that picture someone snappedto her kid holding a bunch of cigarettesnobut of coursethose kids
17:16those kids can do whatever the fuck they wantyeah they had such a deadbeat for a fatheroh yeahK-fed kidsyeah yeahWhat a bad name.Kevin Fedderline.Just Kay Fed.
17:27KFed.KFed's bad.KFed's no good.Also, just go by Kevin.It's fine.You don't have to go as K-Fed.I mean, I know you're a dancer, but come on.Do you think it was like a special K thing?
17:38Maybe.I think that it was just like he thought that was dope.You know?I got it.I feel like he's more a dope, dude.This is a really fun picture of her kid with a whole bunch of cigarettes.That's the one I was talking about.Oh, he's so young.
17:53She's just.she's smoking and she's taking this.No, she just took one and lit her out.She just took a cigarette out of the package and started to smoke it.Baby, get, get mommy a cigarette.Give me a cigarette.Oh my God, that child is two or three years old.I had a woman tip me one time on it, like, when I used to deliver baby furniture.
18:14And I remember I was, like, on my last trip of the night and she hit me, she, like,palm me a $10 bill.Like, back then, that was awesome.You know, she pommed me a $10 bill.She was like, go get yourself some.cigarettes.I was like, I didn't even smoke.I felt like I didn't even smoke. I felt like I had to get them.
18:33Yeah, this was Florida in the late 90s, early 2000.Yeah, yeah, cigarettes were like $2.50?Oh, yeah.You don't got to spend all $10 on cigarettes.I was well.Yeah, but get a six or a beer and some cigarettes.Yeah.I used to just have a pack on me to give to people.
18:46That was the kind of person I was.That's nice.Yeah.Camel, I would always, camel filters.Yeah.Okay, so they had to work for it.Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.You really want this cigarette?
18:56Or wide, sometimes I get wides.I smoked wides for a little while.You're going to smoke, you're going to smoke.Yeah.What's better than one cigarette and one cigarette?Two cigarettes and one cigarette?Yeah, two cigarettes and one cigarette.I'd smoke the lucky unfilters sometimes.
19:10Man, you can't.I really enjoyed cigarettes, quite a bet.Yeah.I had a short period of time when I used to do cigarettes.And I'm glad that ended.Yeah.It ended.It was a bit of a, I loved all kinds of cigarettes.
19:22Yeah.I knew the difference between.all of them. You know, I'd try one.I'd try like, I'm in a camel mood today.So I'd get some camels. I'm in a parliament mood today.I just switch around. Try out new ones.Ooh, Turkish silvers. Let's try those out.You really are a Britney, aren't you?
19:35I am such a Britney.My favorite thing is from such a piece of fucking garbage.A piece of trash.No, you're not.Brittany's a fucking goddess.I'm a trash man.No, you're a goddess too.I remember whenever my friends would, like,
19:48asked me to buy them cigarettes, you know,when I would go out on a beer run or something in college,back when all your friends were dirty,helped each other out all the time.I'd always purposely come back with the wrong cigarettes.It was kind of a fun thing.They'd get so upset, but they'd have to smoke 20 of them.Yeah, because they paid $2.50 for it,
20:06and Lord knows that money ain't coming back.Oh, man.Anything else going on in the world?Madonna.What's going on with Madonna?Well, number one, she's my Brittany.Still?I like her more.
20:22Yeah, of course.I'd much rather, if Britney and Madonna were coming in concerts, I'd go see Madonna.You're right, you're right.I guess I meant more in looks-wise because, like, she's had a bunch of filler done.Oh, really?So she looked like a skeleton, and then she, now she looks like a puffer fish.She had two, it was too much.Oh, she looks great.
20:39No, it's too much.She looks like a scary demon.She's got a witchy woman.She's always looked like a witchy woman.But now she's looking like super witchy.I think it's great.She's getting older.I think she's coming into her own.
20:51But I think she looks like, she looks like making.up witchy. Like she looks like she's playing a witchin a movie. But the thing is thatshe had a bunch of her personalitems that werethat were about to be auctioned off.Really all like just platinum gunsand stuff. It was like underwear.
21:07And letters.And hairbrushes. Wow.And so. I bet that got a lot of money.Well they didn't. She put an emergencycourt order against the auction.Like right before it wenteven though everyone found out whatwas in a lot of letters. So
21:22it turns out it was like someone that she was fucking a while ago.It was a former friend named Darlene Lutz.Darlene Lutz.Wow.But one of them.Stole Madonna's hairbrushes and this is a smart woman.It's a smart woman, but also, which I didn't know, and maybe this just shows that I'm young, is that Madonna dated Tupac.Oh, yeah.
21:44I had no idea.He dumped her.But there was a bunch of love letters between them that they were selling.Oh, wow.That would have been.I mean, that's fucking.That's some money.Sex.
21:55Oh, and there was a letter in which Madonna railed against Whitney Houston and Sharon Stone calling them horribly mediocre.Oh, wow.She, like, she ripped, like, basically saying that, like, she's better than Whitney.She shouldn't have this career.She's a better actress than Sharon Stone.She shouldn't have that career.I mean, well, I mean, I don't know if I could.I mean, Whitney had a voice.
22:17Whitney, come on.Whitney had such a beautiful voice.I mean, but Madonna had her shit together.But this is early 90s, though.Still, Madonna was huge.So what is she fucking talking about with Whitney Houston?Woody Houston?Well, because she got that stepping Super Bowl moment, Whitney Houston had.
22:311990, when everyone was worried about it,they were going to cancel the Super Bowl because it was a desert storm.They thought we were going to get bombed by Saddam Hussein.And then Whitney Houston just came out and fucking nailed the national anthem high on fucking crack.She was amazing.And she could still do it.Oh, I'm pretty sure she was high.And Lawrence Taylor also played that game high on crack.
22:50I knew Lawrence Taylor played the game high on crack.Yeah, but I think it's the same game.They were probably smoking crack together.Come on.Oh, man.Whitney, fuck it.But that was like a big moment for America.Mm-hmm.
23:00And she came out and nailed it.Madonna's never done that for America.I will say that.Yeah, I mean, she did the Super Bowl thing.She did the entire, but she did like a weird satanic.Yeah.It wasn't like an America.It wasn't the national anthem when we needed it.
23:13You know, it wasn't one of those things.But Sharon Stone, which I don't know if it's in that article that you have, Marcus,but Sharon Stone replied back to her saying,all this stuff since it was just coming backand it was like the classiestthing. Oh yeah. She's like well you know I'm a good mombut like she was likeit was something along the lines of just like
23:32you know what I respect youand I really like you a lotand there's no hard feelings herelike she just it was very classy.So when was this was years, this decades agoright? Yeah. No long long time ago.All of this just came out because the auction was this week.Man you know what I just saw the specialist?
23:48Ooh I love that movie. What's that movie?With Stallone andSharon Stone and James Woods?Never seen it.The bomb movie that's in Miami?Never seen it.Gloria Stefan soundtrack?You guys.
24:00I remember that box from the video store.She was sexy.She was just off of a sliver.Oh, man.She shows them for a little while.It was kind of weird because they had like a sex scene with Stallone and her in the shower.Why is it weird?Well, he showed a lot of weird, mussely tushy.
24:18Yeah.But she was like smoking hot.Listen to this, Jackie.A woman entices a bomb expert she's involved with into destroying the mafia that killed her family.God damn.That sounds great.Yeah.And the bad guys are James Woods and Eric Roberts.
24:36Yeah, Eric Roberts.Wow.Yeah, and Rod Steiger, too.I mean, it's a great cast.I've never even heard of this movie.Oh, my God.It's so Miami.It's the most Miami thing.
24:48See if you recognize the poster.Oh, yeah.Exactly.I remember the box from Blockbuster.I love James Woods, but he's really turned out to be a cuck, huh?Yeah, he's a little cucky, huh?Yeah, that's too bad.I really always rooted for him.
25:04Yeah, but he's so old now.Yeah, that's the thing.I feel like that's the thing.It's like you can't, I mean, you can because there's celebrities and they shouldn't say these kind of things.But at the same time, James Woods is old.My parents say shit they shouldn't say too.That's a good point, but they don't have a million Twitter followers.Yeah, they're not social.
25:21There's not people like, listen.There's not people like taking cues from them.Yeah.And being like, yeah.Yeah, no one's listening to your dadtalk about Puerto Ricans and saying right on.Although his buddy's back on the beat did.I tell you what.
25:38It was a different time for everyone.It was a different time.Sylvester Stallone had something to say about that shower scene.Oh, what did he say?He said, okay, let would be known.I didn't want to do this scene because Sharon wasn't cooperating.We get to the sudden she decides not to take a robotDirector asked only a few of the crew to remain
25:55She still won't take it offI promised her I wouldn't take any libertySo what's the problemShe said I'm just sick of nudityI asked her if she could get sick of itOn someone else's filmShe was having none of itSo I went down to my trailer
26:08Brought back a bottle of Black Death VacaThat was given me by Michael DouglasWhat?And after a half dozen shotsWe were wet and wildOh wowMaybe it was just the memory of Michael Douglasthat got her all moist.
26:21It could be.Oh my God, that's actually pretty faint.Of course, I mean, I feel like if I did a sex scene, I'd have to be at least a little shockered.Yeah, just a little bit.Who would you want to do your sex scene with?All time.Basically, pick someone from the 90s.Because we're talking 90s here.
26:37We're talking 90s.So Michael Douglas, Stallone.I mean, Brad Pitt, Legends of the Fall.Brad Pitt Ledges of the Fall.I mean, he's so young.Yeah.Dirk.I don't know, but what about veteran?
26:50Like not someone that's new on the scene.Someone's been around for a while.Yeah.I don't know.What are your guys?Do you have one straight out of the bat?Dudes?Yeah.
26:58Hmm.Michael Keaton.Is that old enough?I mean, yeah, that is old enough.In the 90s, like, especially like weird, creepy Pacific Heights, Michael Keaton.Batman Michael Keaton.Yeah.That Michael Keaton.
27:08Multiplicity Michael Keaton.Yeah.Fuck, fuck, fuck.I mean, if we're going like, you know, 90s, like big guys, like, I'm going to go Mel Gibson.Oh, yeah.He was very popular.With the hair or with short hair?I'm going to go.
27:20Oh, with the short hair.That long hair, though.He had quite the rigs.But by the time the 90s came around, the rigs was over and he was like, man without a face hair.Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's true.Eddie?I'm Nolty.You would really have sex with Nolty, though?
27:35I mean, you know he'd be romantic about it.You know, I'd be romantic about it.Come over here and give my bottom a kiss.God.God damn it.Although weird.Keep suck it.Come, you idiot.
27:53I don't know if I'm about it.All right, sometimes the list.Marcus, got to have that list.Famous divorcese who kept their ex-husband's names.Oh.Rumor Willis.Good one.Thank you.
28:16Susan Sarandon.Oh, really?Yeah, she was married to Chris Sarandon from 67.the 79.I wonder if that's why she didn't changeyour name.I guess she never married.What's his name?
28:26Tim Robbins.Tim Robbins.You ever see Atlantic City?That's a goodSarandon film.She is sexy.Yeah, she was really hot.She's gambling and she's by the water.
28:38Hell yeah.Hell yeah.Is it in Atlantic City?Dimmy Moore.Dimmy Moore?Yeah.Who was it?Roger Moore?
28:49Musician Freddie Moore.Oh, who was hot?Jesus, look at this dickhead.Oh, man.She was so beautiful when she was young.You ever see Blame it on Rio?No.Her and Michael King, she's just all sexy running in the beach in Rio.
29:04Her maiden name was Demi Gynes.That's rough.Either Gynes or G-U-Y-N-E-S.She's got that fucking scraggly voice, too.That's so sexy.Oh, yeah.I got to take up to me more.That's her now.
29:21That's pilled up Demi Moore.You know, I'm...Yeah, Gina shaved my head.You see the picture of her when her tooth fell out?No.Oh, yeah, her tooth fell out.Oh, that's too bad.But her daughters took a picture of it and she let them post it on social media.
29:38Oh, that's fun.Which is kind of good nature, but I think it was also maybe she was so pilled up that she didn't really realize what was happening.That's a pill face right there.Oh, yeah.But she was having a good time.At least it's some of the time when you're a pill, yeah, it's a good time.But most of the time is I think it's a bad time.But you forget those.
29:51times, right?Yeah, I think so.You forget those times, your kids forget those times, your spouse forgets those times.Your job forgets those times after they fire you.She was smoked.Man, when strip teas came out, that was a big deal.Dami Moore's getting naked.Our rated movie, we don't even have to make this movie good.
30:14Everybody signed up to be in it.Yeah.But then let's just still put, what was saying, Bert Reynolds in it being funny and everything's good.He was great.Bing Reams.He's also a sex head.Yeah.Oh, that was their name, Montana Mountains.
30:27Oh, she had like the double H.Montana Mounds.Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.Is that a breast thing?It was a breast woman.Is that a breast joke?She was a breast woman.Ah, breasty, huh?
30:36Yeah.She was in an issue of Playboy.She was gigantic breasts.Yeah.Mounds, some would say.Mm, big mound.Four page fold out.Whoa.
30:48Just her breast.They just, they're just.flopped out of it. Of course, Tina Turner.Tina Turner. Yeah, of course.I mean, she fought hard for that name.Her legs fought hard for that name.No, but she went to court and she won, though.He tried to take it back from her.
31:05Really?Yeah, he tried to take it back.And then she went...But that's who she was.And she took him...Exactly. She's like, I got famous on this name.I can't not be Tina Turner.Wow.
31:13Yeah, and so she actually went to court to keep the name Turner.And Ike Turner, I mean...Beat her up for it?What again?Amy, like, but, you know, he's awful.and nobody also like created rock and rollyou know so it's like what are you gonna dohe's awful Ed
31:26I know but nobody rock and rollyeah but if you look up those clipslook up those clips of themjust like ripping it up on stage togethertalk about sexI mean I know that it was terriblebut man you imaginedyou could see the rest of the band
31:41just terrified of my turnyeah everyone's terrifiedyeah just like playing the fucking bass with a gunjust like pat BenettonPat Benatar?Uh-huh.She was born Patricia May Androzuski.Didn't she get famous at like 15?
31:59Yeah.No.She was a little older.She was in a runaway.So yeah, I guess she got married when she was probably like 17 or 18.Jesus.Yeah.She was married to Dennis Benatar.
32:10Oh, man.He's probably someone who just stole a lot of money from her.Probably.Yeah, man.I would imagine so.Yeah, look at this dickhead.Oh, man.Pat Benatar, I mean, she actually put out in the outside.
32:21album three years ago, that was pretty fucking good.Pat Benatar's amazing.I love that.She's not even that old.She's like in her 50s.She's 64.She's 64.No, she's, God, she still looks so much good.
32:32Her upper 50s.Yeah.I would imagine she probably is.I'd imagine the runaways weren't all really 17 and 16.Yeah, yeah, yeah.They were probably, you know, 13.Suzanne Summers.Oh, yeah.
32:46Yeah, her ex-husband was Bruce Summers.She was born Suzanne Marie Mahoney.I wonder what she's doing.She can't still be thigh-mastering.No, I don't know what she's doing.She did, she was...Step-by-step was the last thing that I know of.With Patrick Duff.
33:04Yeah. Organic makeup.That's what she's selling?Remember Mark Summers?Yeah.Oh, yeah. He's on that, he's a weird...He's a judge on Guy Fiat.He's grocery games.Guys grocery games!
33:16Oh, you watch that?Yeah.That's the triple G. That ain't the triple D.Man, no, we talk at triple G, motherfuckers, you in Flavitown.Welcome.But it's weird that Mark Summers there because he doesn't know anything about food.And there's absolutely no reason.One of the guys from Run DMC, I think they just call him Run.
33:35Yeah.Is also a judge every once in a while.And he doesn't want to be there.And he doesn't give a fuck.And he eats it.Because he used to be like a gangster.Yeah.And he eats it.
33:43He's like, damn, that's some fried chicken.And says nothing else about what he's eating.just like says what he's eating.You think Guy Fierry wears his glasses on the back of his headso people get confused and they try to punch him in the face?I think it's so nobody can sneak up behind him.Yeah, it's for the ghosts.All right, stop blind him.
34:05Blind him.It's like, you're happy where they go!This one's juicy.Okay.It's pretty amazing that this solo daytime talk show hostcan even make it through a show with all the drugsand quote unquote watersipped throughout the show.
34:23I mean, is it Wendy?Martha Stewart?It's Wednesday.I was going to say,because Kathy Leonhota don't fucking hide it.They are openly drinking during that show.Of course it's Wendy.Man, she is wet, what is that waist?
34:36I really just, her breasts.Yes, she's hot.Her so big, but it's like her face really isn't.Her body.How much do you think one of those breast weighs?25 pounds?10 pounds.I think it weighs as much as a dog that you can't have in some apartments.
34:53It's got to be.It's insane.I never know what breast weigh.I'm just bad with weights and heights and things like that.I don't know what breastway either.I got them.Yeah, you got them.Yeah, I have no idea.
35:01I give them 20 pounders each.I mean, you gotta think if you lop them off, it's about the size of a turkey.But man, her shade is really rough.I was watching the other day.She is, and then she still has these people back on her show.It's like, that's crazy.Wow.A pair of decut breastway between 50.
35:17and 23 pounds the equivalent of carrying around two small turkeys.Fuck a day.I got turkeys.I got turkeys.She's got to be an F at least.I mean, or an E, at least.Isn't it weird how, like, with boobies, the worst grade you get, the better they are?Were you the Garfield joke book?
35:47Nobody wants an A, you nerds.You ever notice?Why do they park in a driveway and drive in the parkway?How do you get Teflon to stick to a pan if nothing sticks to Teflon?34F.Wow.That's Wendy Williams.Man, she's got those.
36:20Oh, my God.How does she even stand?So it's probably like, what, that's got to be 30 pounds?At least.30 to 40, yeah.That's like a Labrador.Jesus Christ.That's a very small Labrador.
36:36We got time for one more.All right.Want to know what you do when people stop thinking you're A plus list?Well, if you're this actor who jumps from franchise to franchise,you get one of your buddies to tell the world how virile you are and how women throwthemselves at him and how he has sex with them all.None of it is true, but the actor isthrilled. Thrill.
37:01Thrill. Vin Diesel.Nope. A plus list. Been A plus list. Mark Wahlberg.Nope. It's been a plus list for decades, but it's starting to drop a little bit.Franchise to franchise. He's got a new franchise every year.New franchise every year. Yeah. But the franchises that no one gives a fuck about.Oh, so it's like Transformers-ish.Ish, even lower than Transformers.Really?
37:22Yeah.Lower than Transformers.Jeff Goldblitz.But it's been one of the biggest movies of all time.I mean, he's like one of the, he's like A plus plus.A plus.For decades.For decades.
37:34Mm-hmm.Not Clooney.No.Not Damon.No.Ben Affleck don't get those.No.Who's left?
37:42I'm talking up Top Top Top.Top.Top are those guys?I'm talking about Top Top, dude.I'm talking about Top Top, dude.Yeah.Top top dude.It's not Tom, because he's not fucking anybody.
37:49It's Tom Cruise.Whoa.And that's exactly what it is, is that he's not fucking anybody,but you know who he got to go around and tell everyone that he's been fucking everybody,or at least way back in the day he was fucking everybody.John Travolta?Bougar.Oh, well, booger, you know, he's got a big mouth.
38:05Well, because he was, because Booger was in risky business with Tom Cruise.Oh.And so now, and so Tom Cruise got bugger to go out.Why does he have a lackey that no one fucking knows to do that?Hey, man, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.You know what he's doing?Fucking girls, man.I'll tell you, that burp scene, though, was a big part of my life in Revenge of the Nerds.
38:28Yeah.That was a big part of my life.I love that burp scene.Yep.Yeah, and he's got a whole book called Revenge of the Nerd,and he devotes an entire chapter of his book to the summer of 19802.Oh, when Tom Cruise got him late all the time.Yep, he said it was Bible study and blow jobs.
38:47Oh, my God.That's sadI like BoogerI love BoogerIs he a Scientologist thenThat sounds like he's a ScientologistIf he's doing those kind of thingsHe must be
38:58Is Booger a ScientologistBut for all that moneyI was talking about this earlier todayI'd become oneYou know what's crazy aboutScientology I was sayingIt's probably harder on youIf you're a Republican
39:11In a famous actorThan if you're a ScientologistYesOh yeah yeah for sureBecause you're all acceptedBy the mediaIt's like oh he's crazyCrazy is fine as much as you know as much as you're not, you know, like, guilty of the right way.
39:23Yeah.Greedy, you know.Yeah.I'll tell you who I was hanging out with.I was cooking because we've been having these cool parties.I hung out and I was cooking.We all know about your cool parties.It's been fun.
39:36I was cooking.I got to cook with John Favaro a bunch.You mean the chef?Yeah, yeah, yeah.So we were talking about everything.We were putting things up and down.I was just like, I looked at it much so you're doing the new Lion King.huh? And he's like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
39:50I was like, you know, it could be the biggest movie of all time, right?Just trying to get in his head.What did he say to that?I don't know. Stephen Merchant was laughing, though.Hell yeah.Man, it's been, you know who's really sweet that I take back most of the things I've said about her?Kathy Griffith.Really?
40:13Yeah, just so nice.She seems like a nice person.Why did you hate her so much?I don't know. Maybe it's her voice that got me.You know, it's weirdest thing is like when you actually start to meet celebrities,you're just like, oh, fuck, I've just been a dick my whole lifeand just hated these people for no fucking reason.No, you got to share the love.
40:32Just a person, man.Yeah.That's why I'm all about Brittany.She's got a tight little boyfriend.Brittany does?No, Kathy Griffin.Oh, yeah, he's good.He's tall.
40:41He's a good-looking man, strapping gentleman.She knows what she's doing.Hell yeah, good for her.That's a good for her.That's a good for her.We're ending on a good for her.Ending on a good for her.Kathy Griffin.
40:54We'll be back next week.Molo, be back.She will be back, I swear.We didn't kill her and she's not eaten by Ed.Thank you for joining us, Edwin.Goodbye.Goodbye.For more shows like the one you just listened to,
41:10go to cavecomedyradio.com.
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