Page 7 - Episode 211: Like Sands Through An Hourglass

Episode Date: August 12, 2017

Molly, Marcus and Jackie talk Taylor Swift's lawsuit, Chris Pratt and Anna Farris' split, and famous actors who starred in daytime soaps. Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

You ever think maybe that's the problem, your problem with the Latin? But what about the genie songs? I like Never Had a Friend. And that's the only thing. I haven't listened. Didn't Jafar have a song? I'm Jafar and Jara Farr. I'm so far because I'm Jafar.

Well, I've got to page seven everybody. That's not a song. A new world. I was in least, I never knew. But when I weigh a piece, It's crystal clear. Do you want me to come in and sing it for you for the kids?

Yes, you can be the soundtrack. I hate whole new world. I'm sorry. Is it just the song? But you don't hate Aladdin? I just never. Okay, so full disclosure, I was a hater when I was a child in a bad way. Except for the musicals.

Yeah. Except for your tap. I loved all sorts of things. But I was like, I felt very alienated as a child. I did not get along with many people. and I lashed out by thinking that a lot of things that were popular were not cool and it was not nice of me. I was a little bit judgmental and I was like,

I don't like Disney movies, which now in retrospect I'm like I was just being an asshole. There's no need for me to do that. But I never liked Aladdin and it was like the exact, I was like eight or something when Aladdin came out and everybody was obsessed with it and I just did not like it. Not even Raja? Not even Raja.

I liked the monkey. Are you taking that? The monkey, that's Apoo. Apoo, I like that poo. A poo is an idiot. That's where I disagree. I disagree. I disagree with Apu.

I should rewatch Aladdin. I guess I should rewatch it as well. It's probably fine. This is the thing. I'm acknowledging it was my problem, not Aladdin's problem. But I do stand by my distaste for the song, Whole New World.

I accept your apology. It's just so corny. Yeah, but that's the whole thing. They're on a fucking carpet. Yeah. It's a magic carpet ride. It was a whole new world was a part of the Disney stable of songs that I had to play in marching band. Really?

Really? Junior high. Oh, yeah. Our band director for some reason loved cheesy Disney songs. Like we had to play a whole new world. We had to play, can you feel the love tonight? Over and over and over and over again. Because she wasn't good at her job at, like, coordinating marching band routines.

So she would choose these really slow songs so we'd all just sort of step very, very slow. Both of those are way too slow to be barking. It's just like, I love it. Next one was, but wait, weren't you doing this at like football games? Yeah, this is halftime in a football game.

Nobody wants that. And everyone's just like fucking good. Yeah, football, football, then. I love it. What did you play, Molly? It songs. Yeah. We had, oh my God.

I thought it was a lot of like, go, fight, win. Yeah, I mean, during the game, yeah. But we played, we had one year where the, it was a James Bond medley. That's cool. It actually was pretty, people got really into it. Like, it was just like very trumpet heavy. I was a trumpet player, so it was like pretty exhausting. But yeah, I mean, you didn't just like pump up jams.

You know, I feel like Hang on Sloopy is a great marching band song. That's pretty great one. You know, you just need, like, whatever is a good, like, jukebox bar song makes a great marching band song. Sure, oh, yeah. But. Night moves. Uh-huh.

Like, I feel like don't stop believing would be a great, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, the annoying ones. Yeah, exactly. The ones that everyone, yeah, are like, it's just be. Burr-pur-pur-pur-pur-pur-pur. Everyone's like, yeah, I know that's a lot of that. Yeah.

But, um, slow, Disney loves, songs. Terrible choice. I'm going to play a song that we used to always play a marching band. I'm going to see. I think this is like a marching band

standard. Let me see if you guys played it too. A lot of xylophones. I can't tell if it's just the entire feeling that feels familiar or if it's the song itself. I think it's just the feeling.

There's so much xylophone. I feel like all I can hear is the xylophone. It's because they're standing on the track while everyone else is on the feeling. Oh, okay. And that's actually exactly what they're doing right now. These children are.

like three. Yeah, there are three. Oh, that's just what, well, our marching band, we had the smallest marching band in Texas. Oh, but I bet you had the most might. We had none of the money. No might. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. The band director was the least respected person in the entire school. Why? Full hearts. Come on, guys. It's all the same. No, full hearts. The football coach is the most respected man in school. Of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the band director, who of course provides the entertainment in the halftime show gets the least amount of respect. That's sad.

Oh, yeah, there was Mr. McGowan, Mr. Siegel, Miss Harton, none of them did well. Man, I bet they all banged, though. You were percussion. Them and Miss Fryley. Yeah, hell yeah, Miss Riley's always on top. Yeah, it was percussion. Did you have a bass drum or did you have those ones

where you have all the little drums? Oh, I would quad-tum. I mean, you start up with bass drum. and you go up to snare drum, then you go to quad time. What about steel drum? There's no steel drum. See, now that is a fucking band I'd like to see.

You could do that. See, now that's the super rich schools that you're talking about there. The super rich schools are able to waste money on a steel drum and have someone come out and pick it up during the little mermaid medley. But we didn't have that.

Not at Rochester High. We didn't have none of that. With the smallest band in Texas. We didn't have nothing. That's so sad, Marcus. Maybe you should go back and redo it. My school doesn't exist anymore. It's shut down.

Oh, yeah, that'll happen. That'll happen. That'll happen. God damn it. God damn it. That's been a new catchphrase of fucking roundtable. But the problem is I keep saying it. That'll happen.

But the thing was is I think we said that'll happen a lot anyway. Is that what it was? But now that it's a catchphrase, you just always, that'll happen. Like, don't come at me with that. Oh, man, it is way overtaken that. It's just, man. But, you know, like when you have a cat's race, it's around for a long time, you know,

just gets to plan on with a new one because that'll happen. Yeah. I want to ask if listeners have had the experience that I've been having where when I wear the, that's my name shirt, people ask me, what does your shirt mean? And I have no idea what to say. I'm like, okay, so my friend Jackie, his name is Jackie. And whenever she sees the ads for Jackie, she says, that's my name. And that's what I say.

And the people are just like, uh-huh. There's like no better way to explain it. And this warranted a T-shirt, why? You have to see when I fucking wear it. And then people are like, is that you on your shirt? Yeah, man, that's my name. And then they look at me like I'm even crazier. I like to think that whenever you wear the shirt, you have to walk around with the exact, like,

mouth open, smile, facial expression that is your face on. I mean, that's what I look like mostly. the time anyway. That's true. It's a pissed off. It captures your likeness very well. It's one of the reasons I love this shirt. It's a great shirt.

I fucking love that shirt. I mean, the best answer to any question like that is just, oh, it's just this thing. Yeah. It's a thing. It's just a thing. It's just a thing. If you knew you'd be cooler, but you don't, so you're not. So you're a loser.

So what's gooping in the news? Taylor Swift, how about that ass? Oh, yeah, that's right. Yikes. That whole thing. Yes, so she's testifying. She has testified. They are in the middle of the lawsuit right now.

Will you catch me up? This is she, is she like, I know that it's about sexual harassment, but who is the, is it just her or there are other people? Yeah, a DJ named David Mueller. She testified he did not touch my rib. He did not touch my hand. He grabbed my bare ass. He stayed latched onto my bare ass.

Is there other people involved? Is it like a class action or it's just her? I think it's mostly her. Oh, it's just her. Really? Oh, yeah, it's definitely just her. Man, she's going to win so much money. Yeah, good for her.

Man, she's going to go fucking ruin this fucking dude. Don't grab the ass of a celebrity. Yeah, don't grab asses in general without permission. But I think, sue them for their, if somebody grabs your ass, I think that you should be able to get some money from them. Oh my God. Do you know when he grabbed her ass? Was it 2013?

No, when the situation. Oh, hit me. They were taken a photo with each other and he reached behind and grabbed. Here's the photo. Yeah, take that fucker for all he's worth. He looks like a bad person. What a horrible power dynamic? What can you do?

Your photo is being taken? Yeah, ooh, take his money. Well, and that's all the thing too is that it's also her character that's being attacked as well. And they're like, oh, why didn't you move? out, like move away from him. Oh, the middle of taking a fucking picture. What are you going to, right? Of course. You're going to, oh my gosh. Of course people, of course that's what part of the response is. But yeah, I mean, anybody who's ever had to deal with

like unwanted sexual advances, it's actually not as easy as you'd think to be like, don't do that. Right now in the middle of everybody, I'm going to stop everything and say don't do that. And then if you don't, people are going to say, oh, well, then you were okay with it. Not only that, but it was during a meet and greet. And this guy's attorney actually says that it didn't happen because she continued the meet and greet. Because she didn't flip out and run out of the room. Wow. Fuck those guys.

But also like she has to keep her composure because if I was in that situation, I'm the kind of person like, what the fuck? Are you fucking kidding? You're just like, I'm the one that does that. But if you're Taylor Swift, you can't do that. And can you imagine what the headlines would be if she had done that? Taylor Swift has huge meltdown at meeting green grade. Over alleged quote-unquote ass crab.

Wow. Oh, yeah, man. And that's the thing, man. With those, she's at work. Yes. Like, you're just at work. That's right. Because we do those meet and greed things

with last podcast and all that. You're at work. You can't fucking flip out. You just have to keep going. Of course. But it's just, but also it's like coming up with like all of the dudes. She's dated everything else. Like, dude, this guy obviously grabbed her ass.

There is actually a picture of it. Come on. Come on. But now she's just going to fucking ruin him. It's incredible. I feel like it's actually very. that there is a picture of it and people are still saying it didn't happen. I know. Isn't it crazy?

That's very instructive. Damn, girl. That's really, like, there can be literal photographic proof and people will still be like, well, maybe you're okay with it. Yeah, maybe your ass is lower than you remember. And maybe it was, you was just touching on your back. Wow. Ooh, you know how much money she's asking for? How much?

This is fucking awesome. A dollar. No way. No way. That's awesome. She's trying to drag him. I'm trying to ruin him publicly. Good.

That's fucking, that is a gufah. I'm not even a huge fan of Taylor's love, but that is a number one gopah. And you know what? If she was asking for $10 billion, also guffah. Guffa-ha-ha. But she knows that she doesn't fucking need it. But what I feel like, you know,

putting me in billionaire status here is that I would sue him for $10 fucking billion. And then I'm like, whatever I would distribute you the wealth. And then you give it to like sexual assault victims and that kind of stuff. And then he donated. Yes. But I'm sure.

I think that she is a fairly charitable person, though. I just thought, you know, it's not my thing, but still sucks. Yes. But yeah, $1, but to drag him, that's fantastic. Yeah, because the dude's over. And what's great about that is that another thing about this all is when women do sue for sexual harassment, it's like, oh, you're just trying to get the money. You're just trying to get the money. What, you care more about money than fill in the blank.

And so it's like to be like, I want to ruin the dude. I want to ruin him. And I'm going to go through all this public shit of people accusing me that it didn't happen or that I was okay with it or that I was okay with it. that I shouldn't have, why didn't I stop it? Or some, all this stuff that women hear all the time when they're harassed. And I'm going to go through all of that. And it's not about the money because I'm only asking for a dollar. Damn, man.

Ice queen. I love it. Good job, Tave. Well, what the DJ says is that it wasn't him that actually grabbed her ass, that it was somebody else who grabbed her ass and she got the two people confused. So that's not that dude in the photograph. That's him. That's him.

And he was like, oh, someone else's hand was on her ass. So I had to put my hand there to remove the other person's hand. It just so happened. Just, I mean, a string of bad luck, you know. Just first of all, you get the picture with the hand right next to her ass that looks like she's grabbing his ass. And then later on, some other guy grabs her ass. And then he's like, oh, no. Oh, come on.

No, come on, guys. Now, I'm just the DJ. No, you let me spill my records. No, he's actually, unfortunately, he's a radio DJ. He's one of ours. Oh, God. Well, he's so used to being in the holes, you know? You used to being in the dark.

What are you talking about? Sometimes you start grabbing. You don't know. You start grabbing. What do you think radio DJs do? They live in the dark. We don't live in the dark. No, like moles.

They live in mole people, except you have a job, which is great. So you're better than mole people, but you're similar. I don't know if mole people don't have jobs. They have their own economy running down there. They have their whole thing. They got the doctors. They got the lawyers down there. got the magicians.

Oh, man. They got the poets. They got the scientists. They got to entertain each other somehow. It's too damn dark to do anything else. Honestly, I hope that the mole people have a society free of sexual harassment. I doubt it. I doubt it.

It's just like regular society. Yeah, I think it's just biology. Got to rebuild it. Have you ever read that book, Mole People? No. It's fantastic. Is it just called Mole People? It's called Mole People.

What's it about? Mole people. And just like how they like the infrastructures are where they lay. It's like the mole people specifically in New York. and where they live down there. Oh, you mean that kind of mole person. I'm talking about mole people. Oh, you're talking about humans who live underground.

I thought you were talking about like mole-ish, like humans that are more mole than man. Originally I was. And then I shifted gears inside of my head. To the actual underground society where they do have infrastructure and they do have a hierarchy because, you know, it's a society. We're not rats. They're not rats. Rats.

They're people too. BTW. I just mentioned this when talking with Ed Larson. Rats more communist than humans. Hmm. Yeah, because they share it. If they find food and they know other rats around that are hungry, they find the rats before they eat themselves.

Gotta say, I was hanging out with a rat queen last night, and we were in the backyard, and she just had an influx of all these rats, and I'm talking cat rats. Yeah. I'm talking, I've never seen rats this big before. In a house? They were outside.

We were in the backyard. She's like, beware, though. this is a rat king to back ears like come on but isn't a rat king when they're all nailed up in a bundle yeah she's getting her you're getting your rat nomenclature a little confused here I was referring to my friend as a rat queen okay

a rat queen might be a thing a rat king is a I'm right right right a rat king is when a bunch of rats get their tails all wrapped up together and then they just form one gigantic rat organism that can't get free and they just all kind of move on their own accord

it is a rat yeah it's like a new organism made of rats Ew, I bet she's going to get one back there. Yeah. Let me see if I can find a picture of a rat came. Oh, I don't know, man. These rats were so big that they're trying to get the ones that are inside of the house, and so they have a huge shovel that they're used to cut their fucking heads off

because it's the only, you can't even smash them to death. They're too big. Yeah, I killed a rat like that once when I was a kid. Yeah, I killed a Nutriah with a snow shovel. Nutrias are no joke, right? They're like the size of an iguana. They're very, very large. Yeah, they're very, very large.

Ooh, I found a picture of this is a little. This is gonna fucking, this even makes, this even makes me throwy. You're gonna make me throwy up. I wanna look, the thing is I'm intrigued, I want to look, but I don't. It's dead. I'll let you know. The whole king is dead? It's a dead rat king.

Do yourself in favor of everyone. Just Google, Google Rat King. It is. Ew. Ew. That was so gross. So just know when you, well, when you say rat queen, it makes me think of the song Trap Queen.

which I love. Is that a rip rap? It's a rip rap. Oh, yeah. And... Does it go rat, rat, rat? No, there's no rat in it. It's trap.

You're my trap queen. And you can easily replace it with you. You're my rat queen. Oh, I'll sing it to her. She's going to love it. So you can be a rat queen, not a rat king. Stop looking at rat kings. I know that's what you're doing over there.

You're giving yourself the he be jeepieeps. I am jeeped. I know. You're all jeeped all jeeped. Yeah, you don't get jeeped easily. I'm jeeped out. No, I really don't get jeeped easily. But, yeah, Rat King jeep me.

I'm surprised. Yeah, yeah, I really... They are very disgusting. It's really awful, yeah. Yeah, I mean, if Marcus is warning us, is giving us a content warning about how disturbing is. I just can't believe you guys knew about Rat Kings and I didn't know about Rankings.

Yeah, I've had a lot of conversations about rats. Really? Why? I think that it's something that people... I have a couple of friends who are very into it. They've read books about rats, and I feel like in New York City, there's a whole... They are very...

They are smart. And it's like a whole... civilization that we live alongside. Like, they are everywhere, and they can't be stopped. And so it's kind of fascinating. We live in this city. It's a city of rats, you know?

And it's like, humans can't stop them. No, no, no, no. They're around. They're around, man. So it's interesting. I'd rather rats than cockroaches, though. It's like sitting out there, all the rats, they run away from us.

I mean, there were many, many. But, you know, you get out there, you get the lights on, you know, they were just running underneath our feet. but they're not crawling up my legs. Although there was that story about the... Were you going to have a warning. Are you going to scare me?

Are you scaring me more? There was a story about a woman on the subway and a rat crawled up the inside of her pants. And she had a hard time leaving the house after that. I imagine. I'd probably leave the city. Yeah, she said it was very traumatizing. Of course it was.

It doubled down my desire to only wear jaggings so that a rat can't get in. I mean, you know, I am full jagging. Yeah, you got to do jagging. So it will crawl up your leg is what I'm trying to say. But I feel you about cockroaches. I get more scared if I see a cockroach than if I see a rat. Yeah.

You know, now that I'm remembering, I think I have maybe seen a rat king at one point. No, you haven't. It was when I first moved here to the city. I was hanging out in the Lower East Side with my friend Megan. We were outside drinking the correct. Rova Milk Bar, which is no longer around. That sounds disgusting. No longer around, but it was a clockwork orange themed bar.

It was pretty great. We went outside. We were drunk. I was excited about living in the city for the first time. There was a bunch of metal trash cans around, so I started looking in them, and I opened one up, and there were just so many rats in that trash can. Like, I'm talking like 10 rats. Someone might have thrown away a rat king. Oh, God.

And my friend Megan did not like it when I was like, come here, come here, come here. I got to send me to show you. And then I waited until she was over. That was like, ah, look! Oh, my God. I wouldn't have been happy with you. No, no, no, no. I used to be a much worse person.

You were yourself a rat king. Oh, yeah. That's a real rat king thing to do like this. It really is. I wonder, but then why do their tails get so caught up? I think it's because they get in small spaces. When they get in small spaces, everything gets all tangled. It's like when you throw a bunch of cords and, like a bunch of wires.

Oh, we've all been there, guys. Oh, guys, like your headburns in your pocket of her. Don't even get me started on that. Dad, here at the station, it's nothing but rat kings. Oh, God. Are there mouse kings? I don't think there are mouse kings, but I don't think the tails are long enough. And they're so tiny themselves.

Yes. Mouse king would be cute. It would be like the size of a man. But then it's just like, how do they move? Mice doesn't upset me at all. No, me neither. If they're in the house, I don't even care. No, I stop them.

Wow, it's one of a cell. I was trying to be cool. I don't stop them. Well, it's one of several possible mechanisms that do it. Hair, they get in a lot of hair. The city of hair. Sap. A bunch of tree sap.

No sap in New York. Whole bunch of gum. Like if they get into a lot of gum. The ecosystem layers are like city of humans, city of rats, city of hair shed by humans. City of gum. Oh, God. In heaven. I mean, listen, we are a city of 8 million people.

You're right, we got a lot of gum, we got a lot of hair. Eight million gums per day. Can you imagine how much gum is chewed in this city every day? Fucking gum is disgusting, and I don't support it. I love gum. Whoa. It's one of the things that I'm really missing about having my invisible line now is I can't chew gum anymore. You can't chew gum anymore.

Well, I got to take it out to chew gum. Yeah. That's dumb. And I'm not supposed to take it out for more than two hours a day. I've never been able to chew gum because it hurts my jaw too much. and even from when I was a kid. And so maybe I just resent gum, but I also don't understand

why you want goop in your mouth that you can't swallow for hours. I really liked cotton candy bubble-licious because it was too much gum for your mouth. Uh-huh, yeah. And it made your mouth purple. A real big piece. And it was so filled with sugar

that I was like, and I would put like five pieces of my mouth. And I was like, I was disgusting, and everyone, wanted to kiss me. I used to love doing that too. Oh my God.

I was, yeah, I was the monster. See, gum was banned in our household. Ban. Ban on gum. Seems like something that your father would ban. Oh, no, that was a Linda move. Oh, Linda. Because you put it in your pockets and you don't let me know.

And then the pants will ruin. I got to throw out the pants. I was like, you don't have to throw out the pants? Just because there's gum in the box. No. Have you ever watched gum in your pockets? It ruins them. She's right.

Your mom is right. Anti-Gummers. No, I've watched gum in my pockets. very recently. You just got to... You goop it out. You scoop it out. Get in there.

Get it out. You get it, get it sliced. Get out that gum. You're sliced and diced. Get out of that gum. No, you know what it is? Also, it's... I'm sympathizing with your mom,

but also it's theater teachers. I am a theater teacher. My theater teacher in high school was like, get the gum out of your mouth. And so you just have... Because it does make you look silly. It makes you look like you're a cow. Oh, yeah.

My mom will... always referred to it as chew and cud. Chew and Cud. What if I like cows? What if I want to look like a cow? I mean, you know, everybody's got a body. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. Everybody's got a body.

Oh, yeah, baby. Show it loud and proud. But guys, back, I got to, we got to talk about it. Before we get too far, Chris Pratt and Ann & Ferris. Yes. We can't not talk about it. I'm legit sad. Me too.

I really was charmed by their public displays of affection. I immediately was like, well, I, you know, I think everyone was like half sad, half like, yeah, send him on over. But you know that's not what's going to happen. Well, can I admit a little bit of a weird dark feeling that I had, which was simultaneously sadness? And then also, this is, I don't know where this vindictiveness came from, but I was like, yeah, I knew you couldn't be that perfect. Oh, yeah. And like, I don't know why I thought that, but that was what, because they're always just like, we're so. publicly in love.

Because they were. I know, and I really, and that's, I was so surprised by that feeling I had because I never resent people who are in love. I'm always very happy for them, but they, and even people

who are very performative about how in love they are, I was very surprised, but I had this, and I wonder, I only say that because I wonder if anybody else had it too. Like, when a couple is like,

we are so happy, do you wonder if it, if maybe, it was all a lie? Oh, I never believe anyone's public persona. As far as relationships go, I mean,

especially celebrities. And behind doors, especially celebrities, and especially when it's very, I mean, they are so, like, their whole thing was like, we are a perfect couple, you know? But, and she was very open about the fact that she fell in love with a chubby dude. And she was like, I liked him better that way, which I've been at the same time, of course, he's cut and ripped. But when you're with someone that can't eat anything or can't drink anymore or can't, like, because your entire life is having to look so perfect, then that's also not fun anymore either. Yeah. And I think that that also has a huge issue. But what I don't like is that like the weird vilification of Anna Farris.

That's happening? It's all this shit where it's like she couldn't handle his celebrity dumb. Because he got hot or whatever. Because he got hot because he's a mega superstar. But at the same time, she's been in the lead of a fucking sitcom for the past like five years. Yeah. No, I don't think that that's what it was. Yeah.

I don't like that. They just didn't fucking see each other anymore. I don't know, there's levels. There's definitely levels. Like, you're either in a sitcom or... He's mega, mega, no. I mean, hell, Henry was an A to Z for fuck's sake. Yeah, that's true.

Yeah, but for five years, so she's making great money. She is making great money, but he was all... He was like in a Jurassic Park movie. Yeah, again, Guardians of the Galaxy, which are like both, like, gigantic movies. But would you want to be with someone like that? Somebody who was, like, had to constantly work out and not do anything fun. Fuck, no. No.

And, well, right, and that's, you know, the other thing, aside from my, like, surprisingly weird, like, oh, yeah, maybe. they weren't as perfect as they seemed. But also I was like, I loved watching their, like, you know, and I really liked that, because she's like a funny woman and I liked that he seemed to be so into that. I thought that was really cool. But also, the more, like, I think natural and humane response that I had was like, maybe they were super in love for a while and then it just changed.

They have a young kid. Just happens, man. It just happens, right. But also, there was people, did you see people were comparing? Like, they both put out the same statement, but his statement, says like we both still have a bunch of respect for each other and hers is that they put out identical statements except hers didn't say we both still have respect for each other which I saw people were suggesting maybe he cheated well and that's what when you were talking about that

immediate like weird thing that you thought because my immediate reaction was what did he do uh-huh because I I love him and I want to bang him and everybody wants to bang him but also you think he's got this identity of being like ultimate like man amazing fog and Amazing husband. Not just ultimate hot man, but nice guy. And hot funny dude. Yeah. As well.

It's like, you know, if something like that happened, which that would be so dumb because you would fucking ruin everything. But, you know, maybe they'll cover it all up. But I did kind of weirdly think that. Yeah. And I definitely felt immediately defensive of her because like I said, one of the things I like so much about their relationship is that he's like, seems to be so into how funny she is.

And I think that that's awesome. But it is. It's true. He's the one. He has so much. like status and power. And as you say, like for bullshit reasons,

she's seen as like B or C or whatever compared to him. But house bunny. I loved house bunny. House bunny. Yeah. House bunny? Never saw house bunny. House bunny is funny.

She's funny, yeah. I think she's very funny. Yeah. I wasn't really into the whole like scary movie bullshit, but I know that sounds, it's so dumb. It's such, it's a lot of fun though. No, I'm just last. Laughing at the designation, like the genre that Google gave it.

A comedy of manners. That's apparently a genre. Comedy of Manners. You know what would be a comedy of manners? House Guest. Someone has bad manners. Caddyshack. A comedy of manners.

That is such a weird... I don't understand. It looks... It says romance slash comedy of manners. Ghosted. Comedy? No, that's not a comedy of manners. That's not because he's already used to that social situation. But then he's a ghost.

A comedy that satirizes behavior in a particular social group, especially the upper classes. White chicks. And making fun of rich people. Like there's like a schlubby kind of, yeah, what's going on, everybody? King Ralph, a comedy of manners. I really, I'm very put off by a comedy of manners. I'm like desperately trying to think of another example, and I'm totally coming up blank. There's so many different examples.

That new show, The Mick. That's a comedy of manners. I don't know that show. Oh, with the girl. With the girl from Always Sunny. Yeah, I can't watch it. Yeah, yeah. I can't do it.

Yeah, I don't like it. I know, I'm sure that I would like it. I just can't do it. Yeah, I don't like watching rich people do stuff. I just don't like, you know. Yeah. I don't like comedy. Yeah, I don't want to watch comedy either.

I don't like comedy. I'm super with you. I'm more, you know, let's just go ahead and throw an idea because I haven't said it yet. I'm more a party of five guys. Come on. Oh, I know. I know. Yeah, that's, maybe that's, yeah, I don't like comedy either.

I just don't want to expose myself. I'm trying to think of another one. It's more of, uh, uh, earnest. Yes. Ernest in anything. Ernest, right? Well, no, but Ernest never hung out with rich people. He was at camp, no rich people there.

Yeah, but sometimes you would have that character that he would come in and pretend. That's an old lady. That, that was, oh, yeah, that's right. The rich one, and she would come in and she would always. You remember? I haven't seen Ernest since it was in the theater. It's the one he brings the next job. And they're both in the Christmas one.

Yeah, Ernest Christmas one. Yeah, Ernest Christmas ones. Erndus saves Christmas. Yeah, there's rich people in Christmas. But he went to jail. There's no rich people in jail. You're right. I saw all the Ernest, but whenever you guys talk about Ernest,

I'm like, you guys have seen Ernest recently? Because I have not seen Ernest. I did watch Ernest scared stupid last year. Yeah, I watched year around Halloween. I haven't seen it. Like my memories of Ernest have to do with being four years old in the theater. I just really like Ernest.

Yeah, I like Ernest a lot too. RIP. RIP. All right. Ernest is dead? Oh, yeah. Been dead for a while? We've mourned.

We've got over. Oh, yeah. We're in the new phases. Wow, that really didn't sink in with me. I think like 2002? Oh, yeah. Ernest has been rotten for a while. Been dead for a long time.

Wow. RIP. Yeah, but maybe somewhere still smiling. Yeah, maybe. Probably not. No, he's worms. Still going to Cannes. What you do about nothing?

That is a comedy of manners. What? How about the other one with the crazy one upstairs and then she's the maiden of the house and then he wants to bang her. Flowers in the attic. No. Flowers for Algernon.

No, that's the... Don't ever bring up flowers for Algernon. Algeron's being earnest. Little women? No, Bronte. Emily Bronte. Yep. Little women.

The one with a tiny... face. Oh, Jane Eyre? Jane Eyre. I feel like Jane Austen is a comedy of manners. Ah, yes. Tis a fool and a pity. I...

That's a line from there, right? Maybe. I never read Jane Austen because it was one of those things that when you're like a precocious girl, everyone's like, read Jane Austen. And I was like, no. Fucking secret garden. Yes.

Bullshit. And Anna of Green Gables, which I did read and love. I couldn't. But it's just like, you know. Was it the one you like Prince, Prince? Little Prince? Baby Prince? Little Prince.

That is a fantastic book and I stand by it. She stands by it. I got a tat. Any precocious young novels for you? That I read? Or that everyone was like, oh, you're a smart boy. You have to read Huckleberry Finn or whatever it is. Yeah, like, fuck great expectations.

Yeah, I don't know. Not real. I mean, actually the books that my teacher told me to read were all super fucking cool. They're like on the road and Slaughterhouse Five and East of Eden and Colbert. In cold blood. Yeah. Before that, I just went to a library. They didn't really pay much attention to me at all.

I just kind of went and read whatever. Well, you were in the smallest band in Texas. A lot of goose bumps. Goose bumps. Red of ton of goosebumps. I feel like I need to save myself because I feel like a bunch of people are going to be like, how dare you not like Jane Austen? I'm not suggesting she's not good.

It's just that there is, when there is a, I feel like there is like a certain type. When you're a girl and you're like, I just feel like there was everyone was like, oh, you'll like Jane Austen or you. You'll like, I feel like there's other, like what everyone was just like, you have to like this. And I was like, well, what if I don't? And so that was why I rebe. So then you got, yeah, then you become a nunner. You can maybe a ninnery of sorts.

Like on the road, Slaughterhouse Five, all great books. Jane Austen, like, great books. I know people like are crazy about them. I just felt like I rebelled against everyone being like, read this. You're a girl, so you have to read these books that, you know, girls love. And they are very good. But I just felt like it was a bit oppressive, everyone telling me. to read them all the time.

I read a lot of Mad magazine. Yeah, you know, you got to keep it light. You got to keep it easy. You got to see the lighter side of. You got to see the fucking lighter side. Clueless. A comedy of manners. Love it.

Now you're starting to get it? Oh, I see it. My cousin Vinnie, a comedy of manners. Oh, what a comedy of manners. The big chill, a comedy of manners. Is that a comedy of manners? Is that a comedy of manners? Why?

Because they're all at a funeral together? I don't think that's a comedy of manners. Oh, I thought you were looking at a list. I was like, bring up the list. Bring it on. I am absolutely looking at a list of comedies of manners. Is bring it on a comedy man. Remember when she was naked and crying in the shower?

Bad manners. Bad manners. But it was her house. Good manners. Side breasts. It was all about the side breast. Was that Glenn Close? Yes.

Yeah. Jeff Goldblum was the one that had the follies, though. Wayne was a folly. In Clueless, the comedy of manners part is, um, uh, hi. No, Ty. Oh, because she's talked like this. Yeah, and she's like, I don't know how to, yeah, RIP. Warm food.

Warm food. Warm food. Warm food. Never saw it. Me neither. Oh, guys. We've never seen a classic movie. Yeah, I ain't seen that shit.

With honors. Did you see that? Oh, my God. Brendan Fraser, hello. That's a comedy. Well, is that a comedy? Yeah, I guess it is a comedy of matter. He was so hot in that fucking movie.

You know, I'm thinking of the other one where All the guys. Is that the same one where the people wanted him out of college because he was Jewish? No. Wait. Yes. Yes? No.

I'm thinking of the one, or is it the one with the dude? Who is it? Are you thinking of the one with Joe Pesci and the girlfriend firewalk with me? Do the one where like he's in school and then he meets his like homeless dude who's like really, really smart. He lives in the basement. With Patrick Dempsey. Yes. Oh, yeah.

Another lickety split. What was the no? It was like the all sexy boys school. Yeah. Look at that 90s. Nineties. That's. Men were men, kind of, and I want to have sex with all of them.

But Patrick Dempsey was very unattractive in this movie. Everyone on that movie covers unattractive. Brendan Frazier is hot in the movie. Just got to watch the movie. His eyes are going in slightly different directions. I know, but isn't that quirky? Don't we like corkies? Everybody likes a corkies.

He just looks very much like an example of a caveman that you would look up, if you look up caveman. That's why he was great. And George of the Jungle. Wow. Yeah. And Dudley do right. It is called school ties, though.

School ties. Yeah. Typecast. I think I jade to that movie a few times. To the anti-Semitism? I think they have sex in it. I'm pretty sure there was a sexy part in it that I used. Ah, well, there was some Matt Damon in it.

I just loved it. I loved a Jew. And especially a Jew that couldn't be a Jew. I really was attracted to. You got another good? guy in there that you like Chris O'Donnell. But they were all bad, though. They didn't like him because he was Jewish.

He had to star David and he should have been wearing it. I thought Adrian Brody was very hot in the pianist. Again, another one of those I didn't do you. I just remember the Oscar win, right? With the stairs, with the chairs. When he's on the chairs, he's walking on the chairs? Nope, you're thinking of Roberto Benini from Life is Beautiful. They were like one year apart.

They were one year apart. Definitely do very different men. Very different movies. Well, actually, no, both Nazi movies. Both Holocaust, but still very different. Both Holocaust movies, both involving tall, lanky men. And, yeah, but Roberto Bini looks nothing. I would like to show life is beautiful somewhere and have Henry and I watch it and do a running commentary

because Henry hates that movie and I love that movie and I want to do commentary because for no I don't know why. He hates it so viscerally. I was like, but he's clouded for the kid. He's in a fucking concentration camp. What is there not to like? He's like, fuck this dude. Fuck this movie.

He gets so mad about it. And I love how mad he gets about it. He really hates Roberto Benini for some reason. He's too much of a folly. Yeah, he is a bit of a folly. Time for the list. What? Who's on the list?

Marcus, got to have that list. Oh, it's a long list, too. This is one. We could chew on this list for a little while. Yeah, a little bit grist. Real chewy list. Famous actors who started in daytime soaps. All right.

This first one, from 1986 to 1988, Julianne Moore played long-lost twins, Franny, and Sabrina Hughes. Was that on As the World Turns? That's exactly. Oh, yeah, baby, that was my mom's shit. I watched As the World Turns my entire growing up, life. I don't remember any of it. Yeah. It was such garbage. But you remember Julianne Moore?

I remember Julian Moore because as an adult I was just like, oh my God, that was her. And I was like, yeah, she played both the women. I didn't know that. Yeah. But it's crazy. Yeah, my parents were super into general hospital. Everyone's got the one. Yeah, my dad watched Days of Our Lives, I think.

Yeah, my brothers watched Days of Our Lives. Yeah. They called it Days. Oh, yeah, you gotta get to get home for days. Yeah, I gotta see Days. I gotta go all the days. The thing was that my parents always watched General Hospital. They always looked so bored

while we were watching General Hospital. They never said a word. I don't know why they watched it for as long as they did. It was just always on, though. I mean, you always had to have it on. I think my mom was barely paying attention to it. General Hospital is the one I would watch

if I had to choose one because it's like a hospital. You know, a lot of good drama. I don't think, yeah, I never watched any of the other ones. Yeah, I just watched days. Oh, I did watch. Oh, shit. What was the super weird one? The one with all the magic and everything

and the small person? And a lot of little people. I was just thinking about that, but I don't have no idea what it's called. It was like a magical surrealism. It was so bizarre. I don't remember that one. Oh, no, not little persons. Not baby Grinch.

No. Passions. Passions. With the two S's intertwine, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yep. Passions. That one was a weird one.

I never knew what was happening in that show. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I never knew what was happening either. But you could always just pop in because it'd just be weird for an hour and then you could pop out again. I think it's witches.

Isn't that like the main thing? I'll have to look it up. I'm not really sure what Passions was all about. I don't remember. Did George Clooney? Is George Clooney on this list? That's General Hospital, right? Yeah.

I think so. Yeah, he's on General Hospital. Guys, first general hospital, then ER? Damn. What a faded career. I've always wanted to be a soap opera actress. They have a terrible, terrible. existence. Yeah, wouldn't it be a really hard life?

It's really, really hard. Because it's like being in a Broadway play, basically. And you have to do it. And it's like, it's non-study. It's like they only take a few weeks off and then it's just like 14, 15-hour days and they get paid almost nothing. And it's every day. Every day. And I would like to do it. I think that I would be great at it. Just like, dun, dun, dun, just like the dark eyes.

It's just the lighting in fucking soap operas. It's so amazing where it just shows the like everything else is shadowed except for the, you know, the eyes of either passion or pissy. Passion or pissy. The supernatural events focused on one witch, Tabitha Lennox and her doll come to life, Timmy.

Terrifying. Yeah, and Timmy was played by the little boy from... Simon Birch, right? Nope, not Simon Birch. The other one. Baby geniuses, I think. Oh, actually, he was not a little boy. He was 17 years old.

Wow. Wait, no. He was just in baby geniuses. He was in something else. Yeah, he had to have been in a few things. Yeah, because he was so he was a little boy, but he actually was a doll. He was in Family Matters, Ali McBeal. Yes.

Baby geniuses. That's right. It was Ali McBeal's what I remember. I'm glad he said baby geniuses again, though. Yeah. I've never seen baby geniuses. But you know what? I'm not going to start now.

Last thing he was in after passions. He was only in How the Grinch stole Christmas as the eight-year-old Grinch. Aha. That's where I know that mouth from. file that away with creepy things you could say about children. I recognize your mouth. I was talking about that the other day. We were talking about kids in middle school with someone that has a kid that's going to middle school.

And I was like, yeah, well, you know, they have their periods at that point. It's like my niece just had her period, whatever. And he was like, he's going to be in school with 11-year-old women. I was like, don't call them that. That's really weird. That's so disgusting. They're not 11-year-old women. No, just because they bleed once in what doesn't mean their 11-year-old women.

You're an 11-year-old woman. That's so disgusting to me. I have an 11-year-old woman. Don't talk to me, that. Yeah, no, you don't, I mean, somebody might tell you you become a woman when you get your period, but you're still a child. I'll make you pay some fucking bills. Leonardo DiCaprio. Oh, yeah?

Yeah, you got to say, because I make you pay a fucking bill. See, right after they get their period. Young Leonardo of a child. Like child Leonardo DiCaprio is so hot. 10-year-old Leonardo DiCaprio. And I know it's not okay to like 10-year-olds, but I was 10 looking at 13-year-old pictures, like when he was 13, you know,

and so I still think of young Leonardo DiCaprio is so hot, but it's because I was younger than him. Growing pains. It's fine. I got the same thing with Dominique Marciano. Yeah. Which one's that one? Gymnist.

Mm-hmm. Ah. Yeah, I think it was the 1994 Olympics, maybe 96. And they're so small. So was I. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I was a tiny boy.

Oh, Leonardo DiCaprio was so hot in growing pains, though. Yeah, yeah, it's the hair. It's that 90s hair. I'm telling you, I love it. And I will take, I mean, I would take Titanic Leo over current Leo. Yeah? Yeah. Over like Inception, Leo.

I just watched The Inception a couple days ago. It's a fun movie to go back to. Yeah, that's a good one. That's a good one with the top. It's a one with the top. Yeah, that's odd that that's the only thing you remember about that movie. All I remember about is the top. He's so, he's so.

There's so many cooler things about the movie than just a top. I remember the top. Man, that top was better, though. Don't even get him started. It's difficult to choose. I mean, I don't know. I like them all. Yeah.

I think I like them all. He's just so rugged now, and I like his... You like the clean-shaven. Yeah. But your husband? Yeah. It doesn't track. I liked, like, tall, blonde...

Don't tell this to get it. Aryan people for a while, yeah, which is definitely not. It's because he wanted to mate with like mate. Yes. He wanted like mate. Like mate. Actually, though, I think Leo is really the only, like, blonde person who I have any holdout for. All the other people who I like are George Clooney.

Even Legolas? I've never, never felt anything for Legulus. I don't understand it. Interesting. Legulus. Christian Slater had a six arc episode, or a six episodes. or a six episode arc on Ryan Hope in 1985. He played bad boy DJ LaSalle.

Of course he would be a bad boy. He's always a bad boy. Oh, yeah. It was him and Yasmin Bleeth. Man, you know, what a, I mean, a hottie? Oh, yeah, I mean. But a naughty upstairs. Is she not?

I think she's a naughty upstairs. Yeah? Yeah. I didn't know. Brain-wise. I didn't know she had a naughty brain. Is it like a naughty brain like a, like Jenny McCarthy anti-vaccine naughty brain? No, no, no.

Like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like all tits, no waiting. You know? Her brain isn't there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Man, I haven't heard her name a long time. Me neither. Yeah, yes, mean, please.

Hot. Yeah. Wow. We all know. Thanks. Baywatch gal. Yeah. Tommy Lee Jones.

Oh, yeah. Started off in one life to live as Dr. Mark Toland. Oh, is that a long one? From 1974 to 1970. That 1971 to 1975. Wow. That is a long one. him out.

He's still not that attractive. He looks the same. Even back then, it's just like, his cheekbones. Yeah. Too strong. Never been into him. He wasn't the daddy for me.

I like cheekbones, but his are too prominent. I mean, I would prefer someone has cheekbones. Yeah. As opposed to none. It's just a soft face. Yeah. Hi, your face is pretty soft.

When I kissed it, I just, I feel your teeth. Very hot person. A soft face. Brad Pitt. His first speaking role was on another world where he played basketball-loving Chris. Ooh, yeah. Speaking of basketball, Leo and the Basketball Diaries. Mm-hmm.

Will do. Yes. I would. I will have it. Kelly Rippa. Bitch. Tiny teeny. Tiny bitch.

Tiny bitch. She was on all my children as Haley von Santos. Isn't that how she met her husband? I'm not sure. She was on it from 1990 to 2002. What? Yeah. Jesus.

Yeah. Long time. Long time. 12 years she was Haley von Santos. God, she's so tiny. She's so tiny. It makes me uncomfortable to look at her. She's so tiny.

And you're tiny. I'm like probably twice. But that's saying something. Yeah. Kelly Ripa's like Shania Twain size. Maybe a little smaller. No. Oh, Shania Twain's tiny.

We talked about this last week. I know, but I didn't realize. I saw her clothes. Yeah, you're right. You saw the clothes. I saw her clothes. You did see the clothes. What if they pulled them in, though, to make her look smaller?

Think about that. I would. Like, damn, is she a size zero? Like, yeah, boys. I get close to boys. It's the same size. And I'll become Danny Suko all at the same time. Hey, boy.

I would know. Saying the same thing John Travolta would say. Hey, boys. I'm just picturing you. Like, there's a display of your clothes at the Cleveland Rock and Roll Hall, babe. You're standing there. Hey, boys. It's like baby-sized clothes.

There's no way. There's, like, no way that they fit me. Oh, God, I'm going to do it someday, guys. I'm going to do it someday. Give me more. 1981 and 1984 and tenacious investigative reporter Jackie Templeton. Ooh, that's my name. Yeah.

Woo. Yeah. Oh, yeah, man. My thighs are slipping in my own sweat right now. All right. It's not for buying out. Oh, we can't see him. I'm sitting in a swamp over here.

How are you? You're fine. I'm a little slipp and slighty. Well, I'll have you know. We might be having a new space here soon. Whoa. Okay. This first one, you two are going to be excited about. Hit us.

This Academy Award-winning actress is also an Emmy nominee winner. She really wants another season of her pay cable show. The problem is none of her co-stars do, which makes things a little complicated. Julia Louis Dreyfus. No. Wow, that's what I was going to say. It's a show that both of you love. Starring an Academy Award winning actress.

And it's a cable show. Oh, cable show. Not the comeback with Lisa Kudrow. Oh, no. Yeah, I don't think either one of us watch that show, I don't think. Right in front of you. Sitting right in front of us. We watch it.

It's not party of five. No, no, no, no. New show, like the season just ended. Oh, season just ended. New show, not just ended, but, like, it's over. It's just like one season so far. Show both you really like based on a book. Oh, Bigwood Lies!

That's right. Wait, wait, wait, but they can't keep it going. They want to get. She wants to come back. She wants to do more. Yeah. Whoa. Nobody else does because apparently she loved it.

Nicole Kidman? Nicole Kidman. Wow. Well, she was probably like everybody's talking about me and how great I. I mean, she was really good in it. She was so good. She was very, very good in it. I love Big Little Eyes.

I often look at the television and just want it to be like things like Big Little Live. I might just watch, I think I'm just going to keep watching over and over again because I still listen the fucking soundtrack and it's fantastic. Yeah, I'd watch it again. Oh, but they're doing the next week. They're doing those in secret. Yeah.

Oh. Blake Lively. Really? Yeah, playing Cecilia Fitzpatrick. Really? Oh, yeah. See, I kind of just want them to have Rees Witherspoon play all of that. Because all of her protagonists are like kind of similar.

Yeah. And I feel like Reese Witherspoon should just play. Like, I feel like Cecilia Fitzpatrick is very similar to the Madeline character. Yes, I think so as well. But it's not going to fucking happen, Molly. I wish it would. Next up, want to know why this A-list mostly movie actress, who is an Academy Award winner and nominee,

keeps pushing all those horrible products and questionable medical services, she gets 30 to 50% commissions. That's too fucking much, goop, bitch! That's too much. Oh, you know it's good. Oh, my God. 30 to 50%. Winneth Paltrow making 30 to 50% off of everything sold on that shitty site.

Oh my God. That actually explains everything. Yeah. Because the Jade Egg people are probably like, listen, no one's going to buy this. Yeah. But if Goop tells people to buy it, a bunch of people will buy it, and we'll just give her half. And they are probably still getting 10 times as much as they would if Goop wasn't telling you to put it in your vagina. What about the sex dust?

I found my sex dust the other day. It had been lost in my... Get it out. Yeah. You got to get it out. I'm going to get it out. I'm going to have to go buy some more. I'm going to start powdering it all over me.

I'm going to start using it like talcum powder on my squirty bird. Man, sniff me, man. Yes, don't you want some of my dust? I take off my pants. My morning routine, I do a moisturizer, a toner, a body moisturizer, and then I put sex dust all over my groin area. Yeah, my groin needs to be dusted. Groyne.

I like groin. Groin. The whole region. Excuse. Excuse me, I have to put dust on my groin. Ew, ew, ew, ew. Oh, yeah. The doctors are like, we found a strange dust on your groin.

No, no, I put it. That's fine. That's just the sex dust. That's all me. Ew, oh, yeah, it's all me. I just imagine it's like when you take off your pants and that you're just like your vaginal lips open, like in National Ampoons Christmas Vacation

with a turkey, just goes, Yeah, I've been dusting for years. And last up, this A-list, dual-fret actress is doing press for a new movie. She's telling people that when the tour ends, she is planning on announcing the split with her actor-husband. That will be the cover of a few tabloids. Ooh.

Power couple, been together a long time. So it's not Gwen Stefani. No. No. They're both actor-actresses. Actor-actresses, but double-threat? She's a double threat. Eh, kind of, but not really.

She's more just to say, you know her from one thing. What's the second threat? What's the second threat? I don't know why. Forget about the double-threat. There's no double threat. There's no double threat. It's just a single threat.

She's a one-threat woman. So she, so there's a two, this is big couple. Big couple. Been together forever. Been together a long time. And she's going to leave him? She's going to leave him. Or at least they're split up.

We don't know. But we don't know why. And she's blonde? Am I remembering that correctly? She's not blonde. Did not say anything about blonde. Exact opposite. Okay.

Okay. Okay. But I guess no Bay is a double-threat. Actually, I think she did dye her hair blonde for one movie. Interesting. Not Bay and Jay. No, because. No.

But you're getting on the right track with Jay. Jay. It's Jay Z. That's his name's Jayze. Jay. J-C. Jackie. D-Dade of Pinkett and Hill Smith.

We're both like we still don't know. Duh. Oh, she's not a double threat. Anything. She's a single threat. What is the second threat? No other threat. She did dye her hair blonde for a little while, yes.

That was in some movie. Yeah, some movie. They did it in some movie. You know, I actually would be curious to see how they fare on their own because I think she's amazing. I really like Jada Pinkett Smith. But the Scientology. I think she's overshadowed by him a little bit. Maybe if they split up, she's not a Scientologist anymore.

What has she been doing, though? I don't know, but she's just great. I like her. I think they left Scientology. You can't. I think they got a little wishy-washy, and then they've started moving away from it. Interesting.

And the movie she was blonde in was Demon Night, which I saw many times as a child. Sexy. Somebody in the group posted a very mean list about ugly children of celebrities, but the person who posted it was like, this is such a mean list. Why would you make fun of children?

Was Apple on the list? Yes. And I read the list. I did. Rumor was on the list. And I agreed with the person that it was not a nice list, but Jaden and Willow were on the list.

And I was like, sorry, they're beautiful. No, they are beautiful. You might think they're weird, but they're freaking gorgeous children. So, like, step back. It's just people that are jealous because these kids grew up with a bunch of fucking money.

Yeah, and also they're, like, weird and smart, but, like, cool, like, Jaden's genderqueer, and, like, they had that weird New York Times interview where they talked about space and stuff. But like, they're weird. Yeah, but just being gender queer doesn't make you cool. No, but I do think he is cool.

I think he was great in the get down. I like those kids. You liked the get down, though. I love the get down. See, the problem is rumor Willis just had too much done. Yeah. It's like, girl, it's okay. It's like you look more like Bruce than you do like Demi, and that's okay.

She shaped up too much. And then she did. She just did too much of it. Now she can't go back and it just sucks because it's like, you don't look any better than you did. Mm-hmm. It's like, you're got to like crack that jaw and you fucking shave it off. She just does have the shape of Bruce Willis's head is the shape of her head. It's rough.

It's a cranial dat. But I feel actually, I was actually really fascinated by this list, the person who posted it. Because, like, you know, sometimes you have two really attractive people. And then instead of having a really attractive kid, you get the interesting. A lot of times attraction is only made. You attract to people who have really weird features. You know, it can go one way or the other. Just like, I think that's why sometimes beautiful kid actors end up girls.

growing up to be not so beautiful because they might be beautiful as kids because they have weird shit going on. Right. The eyes are too big or something, right? And then when they grow up, it doesn't work for them. And so I feel like with celebrity kids, it's like you have two beautiful people who might have really strange features that work for them. And then, you know, like Apple, for example, has like her mom's very big eyes. Yikes. It's like a just a bit of a jumble.

But, you know, you're a kid. We all have our phases, you know, better to be an unattractive kid. And then I feel like you're more likely to grow up to be an attractive adult. That's true. A duckling. Yeah, but I mean, you know, her eyes are very far apart. They are. She's got, they're far.

They're pretty far. But, you know, maybe her head will grow into it. I think her head will grow into it. Yeah, and that's Goop, you know, that's Goop's eyes. She's got Goop's eyes. See, I think she's got Chris Martin's eyes. The googly googly googs. She's got googly googies.

Yeah, it's like Cameron Diaz's breasts. And also kind of Cameron Diaz's eyes. Yes. Well, that's all we have time for, on Kia on page seven. We'll talk to you all next week. Snarkies. Bye. For more shows like the one you just listen to, go to cavecomedyadio.com.