Page 7 - Episode 214: Jackie's Oral Exam

Episode Date: September 15, 2017

Marcus, Jackie and Molly quiz Jackie with obscure Party of Five trivia now that she's finished the series, learn about Chip and Joanna's new target line, and delve into Molly's dislike for scary movies. Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

The time has come, the Walrus said, to talk of many things, of shoes and ships and ceiling wax, of cabbages and kings, and why the sea is boiling hot, and whether pigs have wings. Is that from Revelations? It is from Alice in Wonderland. It is of the time of the end, for I have finished party of fun. It has come to.

a close. I am done. I am finished and I no longer have the Sallinger's in my life. How'd it in? You know.

Spoiler alert. I can't get into this. You know, everyone has to watch 26 hours of seven seasons if they want to know how a fucking end. Something that ended 20 years ago. Because that's what I fucking did.

I had to watch every second of it. It's like you have a PhD in Party of Five now. I can talk about Party of Five. To the point that I started looking up trivia about it. Just because I wanted to know. Do you find anything interesting? Nev Campbell is Canadian.

Yeah, I knew that. I didn't know that. No, I didn't know that. Yeah. Yeah, they said she was, she, but she was 19 playing a 15-year-old. That's fine. But Bailey was 27 playing a 16-year-old. Yeah, but that was what they always did.

I knew, but he looked 16. Like, I was like, I didn't look like that when I was, but maybe it's all the partying. When I was 25, I looked at 16. Yeah, I guess. I'm 34 and I look like that. 22. Well. 26.

Yeah, I'd say like 24, 25. 27? I'd say 27. Yeah, the wrinkles, the extreme stress of the last year really aged me really fast. But it's also the smile, though. It's the smile that does it. It's the wisdom in your eyes. Yes, for many years did not age a bit.

And then over the last year, it's, boy, them wrinkles are coming. I have the same thing. I looked, yeah, 12 all through my teens, teen all through my 20s. and then right away into the 30s was starting to get gray hairs and wringles. Oh, yeah, I'm over, man. I can't wait to start getting Botox. I am going to be so tight. I know where I'm going to get them.

I'm starting immediately. The second I hit L.A. soil, man, Botox me up. I don't know, man. I saw a Botox woman on Park Avenue today. It gets pretty bad. You know, you can't do too much. No, you're going to rock Botox, though. I don't think if you get it, obviously, you shouldn't.

And I don't want you to because, unless obviously your body, your choice, but I don't want you to feel like you have to, but you would just be hilarious with bowtas. No, you would. Just like for at least for the first five days. Just my base not moving? You're like, oh, you guys like my bowtops? Pour the whiskey into my mouth.

I can't get him. I pour the whiskey and just falls out of the bottom of my mouth. No, no, that's why I'm supposed to do this. That's why I'm supposed to be. I know. I would never get it in my forehead. I'm just going to get it in the smile lines. You got no lines.

I got lines. No, Marcus and I are all over here, age and you still are freshly 30. Am I freshly 30? Yeah, that's it. Oh, no, I am barreling towards my mid-30s and then late 30s, and it's going to be 40s. And then time just goes marching across your face. It's a line from Zia Magnolias. That's what happens.

And if anybody knows those women knew, because they went through a lot. They did. They did. Do you know Jerry O'Connell was supposed to be Bailey? I do know that, but he chose to do sliders instead. Oh, so you've read this list. Oh, I read that list. I read a lot of lists. So you also Googled Party of Five Trivia. Oh, I did.

I wonder how many lists there are. It is weird because Lacey Chabar was one of the few, and Jennifer Love Hewitt, so she was just, like, hardcore with somebody much older than her. They were the only ones that they were the actual age when they came in. But Lacey Chabar by the end was just like. slutty goth girl, man. Jennifer Love Hewitt. I forgot about her. She was sexy.

Oh, she was really sexy in it. She was young, perked little tiny. You just want to whip her around your fucking dick like a helicopter. What was the teen movie I'm trying to think of that had Jennifer Love Hewitt in it that we all. I know what you did was. Thank you. Can't Hardly Wait. Which I watched recently, it was on a regular TV not too long ago.

You know, it's still really fun. Yeah, I feel like I would watch it. It's fun. sweet movie. That's the one with Seth Green where he tries to bang her in the bathroom, right? He banged her in the bathroom. He totally banged her in the bathroom and then he acted like a dickhead afterwards and then he chased her down.

He's like, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. She was really, what was that? Lauren Ambrose? Yeah, yeah, yeah, they ended up being in six feet under. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. She's hot. She's got good lips. Very good lips. Right? All right, Jackie, I'm gonna I'm gonna lay something down on you right now.

Oh, you about to lay something down on me? I'm going to funtrivia.com. Orals when you have to. I don't know how a PhD process works, but I know there's some sort of oral examination. This is it. This is your thesis argument. Oral exam. Yeah.

Party 5 trivia. Okay. It's a quiz. Ooh. To be fair, I have been watching it for about six months now, right? I know. I can say six months. And this is timed as well.

Okay. Oh, no, it's timed. Okay. All right. Okay. All right. Because what it does is I'll give you the question. I'll give you the question.

And then it gives you a little bit of time to think. And then it gives you a set of names. Okay. So if you know the answer to the question, go ahead and give it to me. But are these actors and actresses, like, their actual names? Because I don't know their actual names. I think this is all character stuff. I took a look at the first question and was something about laundry.

I'm pretty sure that it's all characters. All right. You got to start. What is the name of Charlie and his ex-girlfriend Daphne's baby girl? Diana. Which is also the name of his mother. Which agency was giving the Salinger family a problem? Oh, the child agency.

I don't know what that's called. The Child Protective Services. Department of Social Services. Department of Social Services. It wasn't the Environmental Protection Agency. No, it wasn't the EPA. I know that one. The agency was upset at the family being without a nanny for Owen.

I mean, yeah, the kids were just running amok. They had no fucking parents, man. What was fucking happening? Claudia stopped going at school? Probably social services perhaps should have even come in sooner. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, next question. Julia told Claudia that she would like to read which book to her?

Charlotte's Web, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, the Castle in the Attic, or Stuart Little? Maybe the Castle in the Attic? All right, you going with that? Sounds right to me. No. Charlotte's Web? Yes.

Damn it. Yeah, but you got a penalty for the wrong answer. Fuck, me. But no one cares about those moments when they're fucking, she's living in the tent. Nobody cared about Claudia back then. I just wanted to be hot and start banging. All right, you ready? Okay.

Who attempted to get two people back together? Charlie, Julia, Claudia, or Bailey. To get two people back together. In Locke Parenthis. Oh, in Loco Parenthes. Claudia. No. Yes.

Yes. That's when she falls in love with a little Mexican boy. Claudia was distraught that Arty's parents planned to divorce so she hoped she could help. Yes. That sounds awful. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So you have a teenage girl meddling in the divorce of a couple of adults. Yeah, yeah, yeah, because, you know, she wanted them to love each other.

And she just didn't understand, but you know what, adults' problems are rough. How many, how many questions? This is like old school. This is like early. Ten questions. Okay, wow. It's supposed to be mixed. It's supposed to be mixed.

I went with the mixed one because there are actual, what is it, quizzes for every season specifically. And I hope that the mixed one would give us questions from all the seasons, but I think this is all just season one. We'll save those quizzes for the spin-off podcast that's just about party of five. That Jackie's going to start. All right. Here we go.

Who played Mr. McQuilkin in The Trouble with Charlie? Was it Stephen Ricard, Michael Doolittle, Michael Kaufman, or Andy Rourke? Couldn't even pop. Possibly no. I'm going to go with one of the Michaels. Michael Doolittle? Yes. Wrong.

I don't. I told you don't know. I don't. How are you supposed to know these things? You know who Michael Kaufman is? Let's see who Michael Kaufman is. I don't know what fucking is. Although they did have a lot of young teen stars that eventually became like Andrew

Keegan and Britney Murphy and like a bunch of other Kate Hudson was in it. Really? Yeah. When they were just babes. Andrew Keegan, I have not thought about him. Dude, he was sexy and he was a senior when Claudia was a freshman. He was a football player. He had a real squinty face.

Oh, yeah. What did he? And he called her Salinger, and she loved it. What did he go on to do? He was in all those teen movies. Teen movies, yeah. Which one? Andrew Keegan.

He was in Camp Nowhere, which we recently have talked about. He always played the hot dude, though. Always played the hot dude, yeah. Oh, yeah, that guy. But I can't think of anything specific. 10 things I hate about you. There you go. Thank you.

That's it. Independence Day. He was one of the kids. That's right. Mm-hmm. Go for him. Teenage caveman. There nothing, though.

Nothing since probably 1999. He doesn't look as hot as he used to. Well, he worked pretty steadily throughout the 2000s, and up till the mid-2010s. And then 2014, things started slowing down a little bit. and he didn't work for two years until 2016, and he hasn't worked for another two years. He's in a, he's in a movie called Living Among Us. Oh, okay.

Living Among Us, yeah, no one's really in this one. Vampires have just made themselves. Say the word vampires on the out. Next. Although I might give True Blood a shot because everyone tells me I should get into True Blood and everyone told me to watch Riverdale. And Riverdale is the best.

Riverdale is the best. It is on Netflix. Oh, it's on Netflix. It's like on WB, I think. CW, baby. Oh, yeah. Okay, see, I looked on the wrong place. I do want to watch Riverdale.

And I kind of want to watch True Blood only for Alexander Scarsdale, who have people in the group keep hosting pictures of that guy. I know. I got to see it. Damn. I have to see it. True Blood, you might.

I could see you either. loving or fucking hating it. Well, now my life is empty. I even watch both seasons of Insecure and Riverdale while watching Party of Five. And they, I mean, Insecure, highly recommend. Yeah. Everyone has to watch this fucking show.

I'm fucking obsessed with it. I've heard it's amazing. And the sex is, oh my God. Oh my God. The sex and it is so good. Watch it for the sex alone. Highly recommend it. That's why I watch pornography.

I know, but this is just, yeah, but this is. you know, emotional. Emotions. Yeah. Is that what you want? And just fuck it. Yeah, but it's also like straight fucking, though.

It's not like romantic at all. Oh, okay. It's fucking. Yeah, there's not candles and they're not moving, moving slowly. Oh, no, no, no. This is from, this is smang. Bangin?

Oh, this is smangin. No. Oh, they smangin. It's not like a, like a Cinemax poolside and pizza delivery. No, it's very, it's more, I mean, I want to say it's more realistic than that, but I don't think I've ever had that. smooth of a fucking smang before. But, you know, it's smooth.

Yeah. I'm just thinking about it now. I'm very happy for insecure success. It seems to be like everybody's favorite show. It's really, really good. Yeah, that's good. Next question. Oh, no.

Oh, yeah. You haven't got one wrong yet. From season two, episode 13, poor substitutes, Charlie asked Owen to draw him which of these? A son, a car, a window, or a bush. A son. Nope Fuck

Season two Car window bush Up What What? Window Charlie got annoyed When he drew on the

countertop So he asked him To draw a window Mm-hmm And then he drew it on the countertop Oh Well Owen's a little Slow

Owen's the youngest Yeah And he's a little slow Is he played by a famous person Nope He was played by Five different boys though to show his age growth.

I hated when they do that. Like in Boy Meets World when they had two different Morgans. Yeah, well Morgan was always a fucking little bitch. No, but the original Morgan was cute. Later Morgan was like too perfect. Yeah, but I hate... No, later Owen, I just wanted to fucking shake him to death.

But Bailey... There's a lot of that. It's like... Ugh! Shut! All right, next question. In season two, episode 20, Happily Ever Actor,

Bailey told whom to give Owen a bath. Charlie, Claudia, Julia, or Kristen? Kirsten. I'm going to say Julia. Nope. Kirsten. Nope. Claudia.

It was Claudia. Did you even spend the last six months watching a party of five, Jackie? Ask me about the last two seasons. I fucking know every single thing. Bailey advised Claudia that it was her turn to wash up Owen. Claudia rolled her eyes as she went to clean him up. What? The thing is that these are such trivial questions. It's like, who beat the shit out of fucking Neff Campbell?

I know that answer. It's like, these are the things that you need to know. Apparently, you're not a super fan. God, now I have to watch it all over it. Yeah, and you still got two more questions left. Oh, my God, this is painful for me. All right. In episode four, or in season four, who played Mrs. Reeves?

What a drag. Melissa Greenspan, Natalie Pansy, Wendy Lane Wright, or Allison This is a quiz. This is not fair. Let's say Natalie Randon. Okay. Nope, Wendy Allen Wright. Nope.

It was Allison Reed. Oh, cool. That's great. She also guest starred on Desperate Housewives, Madman, and the mentalist. Think of how lame the people are that made this quiz. Although, I hope that the character actors who are the, like, wrong choices on this quiz are, like, getting in their Google alerts. Like, you, character actor who nobody knows are one of the options on this party of five quiz. Congratulations.

Congratulations. You didn't get paid to be in the show, but you are a wrong answer on this quiz. Put it in your credits. All right. And I think this is the last one. Please. You got this, Jackie. No, there's two more.

Who was cast as Stephanie in season four, episode 21, free and clear? Jennifer Salazar, Olivia Hack, Francis Torkelson, or Dana Lee. I'm going Torkelson. One Torkelson. Let's go up, Lee. Olivia Hack. Livia Ha! Do you remember the movie

the show The Torkelsons? Do you ever watch the Torkelsons? There's a real show called The Torkelsons? I think that they were like Mormon or something. They had a bunch of fucking kids and they out like this. And they were the Torkelsons. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was from, yeah, that's a deep cut.

I think I watched every episode of the Torkelsons. Yeah, it was like 20. It's also known, well, the Torkels. It was called the Torkelsons in season one. And for season two, they changed it to Almost Home. Almost home. You know, rebranded if it's not working. Well, Torkelson, it's a rough last name.

They were in Venita, Oklahoma. Oh, yeah, baby. Yeah. It was a sitcom? Mm-hmm. And Millicent Torkelson and Randy Torkelson. They had a bunch of kids. Oh, they got divorced.

I can't believe that you conjured that up from your brain. See, I know these things. You know a lot. You should be very proud of what you know. Thank you, guys. Do you remember West? Wesley, Wesley Hodges, the border who ends up living for a year in their basement. Every sitcom has some teen living with them for a long time.

Yeah, I mean, they got Cody. Growing pains. You got fucking Sean. Right, Sean. It's just to bring the kids in. I mean, would that our real lives were that community base? But also, where are their parents? You know, like, that's the whole thing.

Party vibes, like, they should have been dispersed to other places. Orphans are very. Annoying. It's very It's like a revered identity in our pop culture It makes it seem like it would be fucking awesome To be an orphan You just like it to

They bang all the time They bang in the house They stay out all night long Nobody's watching them They're not tethered to anything Live at your friend's house Probably six lived with Blossom For a while

Again I really Why isn't Blossom ever coming up In our conversations About 90s nostalgia? Whoa We did talk about Joey Laurenst Blossom last week. I know, I know I brought up Blossom again.

I'm sorry to bring it up again. But I mean, like, in all that, I feel like, you know, there's so many references that, like, our current culture is obsessed with 90s nostalgia, right? Full House, all of that. But they're bringing back revivals of shows that were on in the 90s. But I feel like Blossom is strangely absent from that nostalgia. Blossom didn't really have a thing besides just, like, dressing wacky. Yeah, you're right.

She was, like, she dressed wacky and there was, whoa. I mean, whoa, was. pretty culturally huge. But you could say that Full House didn't really have a thing. But Full House was full of catchphrases. Dead mom, though. Catchphrases is dead mom. Well, Blossom also had a dead mom. Everybody had a dead mom. I only remember Joey Morris.

And dead moms are great. And dead moms are great. That was what the 90s taught us. Yeah, I'm pretty sure she had a dead mom. There was definitely no mom. She maybe wasn't dead. But she was a runaway mom. But those hats, though. How many of those hats did you have? I had a lot of those hats. The one with the big flowers in the front? I've seen you wear one of those hats within the last few years. You know, I do have.

But now it's cool. Don't pretend like it's back in the past. Now it's cool, though. Is that blossom on one of those CBS shows? Big Bang Theory? Yeah, yeah. She's on Big Bang Theory's like a love interest. Just never having to worry about money for the rest of her life.

Nope. God damn. Did you guys see Young Sheldon yet? Aye. I see it on, every time I see it on like a bus that passes, I'm just like, why? Why? I've got 20 fucking sitcom ideas. I take one of mine. Yeah, but it's Young Sheldon.

Forgive me if this is also a very deep cut, but that Young Sheldon guy, there is a Staples commercial right now, and I'm convinced that the kid in the Staples commercial is also Young Sheldon and it's a crossover. And it has me, like, freaking out. You think that that is, like, the character he based off on the Staples commercial?

Or I just think that there's, like, a little boy in a Stables commercial with a bow tie, and it's like, oh, he got... And then I saw the commercial for the poster for Young Sheldon and I was like, is this the fucking set? Do they think we're stupid? I think it's not like a purposeful crossover. I mean they know that we're stupid. They're making a show called Young Sheldon.

Yeah. They are banking on us being stupid. Oh, they know. So yeah, now I'm paranoid that they just double, they just took Young Sheldon off the set, put them in the Staples commercial and then thought nobody would notice. They might have. You know? They might have. I enjoy this conspiracy theory.

It's really inconsequential, but it's driving me crazy. And I only say this because hopefully anybody else out there who's seen that fucking Staples commercial will know what I mean because he looks like young Sheldon. Maybe it's just a rip-off. I don't know. Here's the hook. It's 1989. And 9-year-old Sheldon Cooper has skipped four grades to start high school along with his less intellectual older brother.

As he struggles to be understood by his family, classmates, and neighbors. His mother arms him with the best tool. she can come up with reminding bullies, his dad is the football coach, and his brother is on the team. I would rather watch Doogie Houser. We're talking smart youngs. Slap on some Doogie Houser. I watch some Doogie Houser a couple. See, I've got just Saddle, or not Saddle, I've got just Antana TV.

So it's just full of old shows. Like I'm watching Quantum Leap every other day. It's fucking awesome. There was a great Vietnam episode flashback where he had to go back to Vietnam to try to save his brother and like Patrick Warburton played like the big tough dude. Not supposed to fuck with time like that. That's what Quantum Leap's all about. But it was kind of, I didn't get to finish watching it because I got bored and played

City Skyline. That's the thing. Yeah, yeah, I did get bored. But Tia Carrera was also in it. Ooh. Yeah. In Vietnam. She was the Vietnamese double agent.

Oh. Jackie, would you rather? Ooh. It's not about fucking. Oh, sorry. Would you rather watch Young Sheldon or watch children singing? I guess Young Sheldon. Really?

It would have to be Young Sheldon. Or what's that show? That fucking, yeah, no, never that one. Toddy Tots or whatever, hot tots. Little fucking tots. I fucking never, ever, never that show. At least Young Sheldon, at least he probably doesn't sing in it. Everybody probably talks like this.

Yes, right. That's the part that I really don't want. I think about. So you would rather watch young Sheldon than listen to this. No. And a chore. In other words.

This is a child? Please be true. You're fucking just stopping. You know anything about love. You've never fucking lived. I've fucking been here for eight years. You've never experienced anything. You can't sing with soul, girl.

You ain't got it yet. You're an underdard. I don't understand heartbreak, you don't understand pain, you don't understand anything yet. Oh, yeah. I hate it when they try to sound old, and I hate it when they sound like kids. I hate everything about it. How old's that one? Eight.

Ugh. Be a child. Don't do a childhood. Yes. Get on a bike, scrape up a knee. Don't sing like that. Although I did watch last year, last summer, the So You Think You Can Dance, was so you think you can dance the next generation, and it was kids. And oh my God, kid dancers are so cool.

And I just feel like dancing is slightly less creepy than being a child actor. It is. But then you know what? Let them do it on the streets. Let them get into their gangs and have them snap at each other. And then they let them dance like that. I just feel like you might feel differently about child dancing than about child acting. I mean singing.

Child acting and singing negative. Child dancing, perhaps okay. But I'm not sure. It might still, I do worry about them. Just like I worry about the stranger things kids. I worry that they are going to have very bad drug problems. Of course they will. Well, speaking of the Stranger Things, kids, I went and saw it.

I can't let you see it. Are the Stranger Things Kids and I? One of them is, yeah. Really? Yeah. I don't know if you can handle it. It's pretty intense. Yeah, but I have not even thought about seeing it.

It's not that intense, though. Like, it's scary. Yeah, there's some scary moments, but it's not that scary. I'm not a big baby. You think I'm a big baby? No, I just didn't think you liked scary movies. I don't, but I don't, but I'm not like categorically again. I don't like clowns.

I guess to me, clowns you creep me out. I don't like what you're thinking of is the time that I fucking went to Big Fat Scary and Ed and Henry were watching Texas. You too, you were watching Texas Chainsawmasker. And I was just like, why? Why would you watch this?

And I was so upset. I was upset for like the rest of the night. I don't like slasher. I think it was that. Maybe that's what's echoing in my brain. It's just like watch women get tortured for three hours. You think that's getting tortured? Oh, she only gets tortured for like,

There's a lot of other ones. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Much worse. Yeah, I don't like slasher's, but I want to, like, but another time I was hanging out with all you guys and you were watching Halloween, which I have never seen and I was really, I was really enjoying it. So it's all about the hunt. Yeah, I like the psychological parts of it.

I just don't like that specific torturing woman scene in Texas Chainsaw Massacre. I mean, it's a psychology of a kind. Yeah. Yeah. It's different. That's more exploring like sheer horror that does not end. It's like getting caught in a nightmare. Yeah, right, right.

That's what he was going for with that. It's like just getting straight up caught in a nightmare that you absolutely cannot get out of. Yeah, right. Yeah, so that's, right. I can respect, I can respect why it was made and why people watch it, but it's not, but, like, I don't want to watch that. But I do like, like, like, I feel like, I like Amityville horror. Well, it's a cool. And it follows.

It's a very, it's a supernatural horror film. Uh-huh. I mean, there are definitely some slasher elements to it. Okay. But for the most part, it is pretty supernatural. And like the kids are great. It's a bunch of, like, it's like an old 80s movie where it's just a bunch of kids like riding around on bikes saying fuck a lot.

Yeah, which is great. I mean, I can't wait to see it. That is the only, that kind of kid acting. I'll definitely fucking get behind. Yeah, you're going to love it. I really also want to see Mother, the Darrenovsky film that's coming out. But they are dating Aronovsky and fucking Jennifer Lawrence. Well.

What is that? What is that? What do we know? Well, the blind item. Yeah, please. So is it all the scam for the fucking premiere? Oh, let's just say they're not as happy as they make out to be. Got together.

Got together during the filming and made it public. And now they're just kind of stuck in it. And let me try to find it. I saw a blind item today. Let me just see if I can find that. I really was. When I first heard about this, I was like, okay, trying to get through the premiere. We know about the fucking.

movie. You don't have to do this. I can't picture the boy. Who is he? He's like, I think he's like 48 or something. He looks like, you know, he wears a lot of scarves. I imagine he likes locks, you know? I find it a very weird couple for the two of them because he's so like, and she's just

so yeah, yeah. Well, this one right here might tell you a little something. Interested to see how this A-list director reacts when he finds out his A-plus list movie actress girlfriend is sleeping with her ex. Of course. You have to say which ex? Nicholas Holt. He's not the most attractive of her exes.

Isn't he the one with the weird mouth? J-Lah? Yes, absolutely. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, you're 100% with weird mouth on that. Yeah, he's got a weird mouth. I don't know, it's too smirkish. Yeah, it's like a permanent smirk.

I feel like J-la, as, you know, take her or leave her, but I feel like she's definitely hotter than... And I enjoy her. I think I like her. Yeah, I think I like her too. But sometimes I think that I, she's a little too big for her britches. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. She exploded so fast and now I think that she's probably a lot more uppity than she used to be when like, I don't know.

Because the whole thing was like she hung out with Amy Schumer all the time and they're like, body girls. But it's like, are you body girls or are you body girls for show? Ooh, I know what I wanted to talk about with you guys. The movie with Idris Elba and Kate Winslet Gunslinger Yeah No, no, no, no, I'm just thinking of Eiji's Elba The Mountain one.

The one when they're on the plane, yeah Do they have sex? They did have, remember we talked about it in a blind item While they were filming it They did possibly blind items, smang And now I just keep seeing this preview And just keep picturing them fucking And really enjoying it

And it's like a movie that's coming out now, I think. It's coming out real soon, yeah. I saw a... Is it a romance? No, it's like an action. It's like a survival action movie. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're both strangers on a plane.

They're both chartering a jet. She's got to get to a wedding, and he's just got business to do. And as they're flying over the mountains, the plane runs out of gas, and they crash on top, and they must work together to get back to civilization. Oh, my God, I will watch the fuck out of that. You'll love it. And there's a part where he goes, we're not going to die, not today. Yeah.

Oh, and I'll bet they're going to fucking says. They're going to fuck and then they're going to fight a bear. Find a bear for me, just. Two beautiful people who, like, what may, like, yeah, J-law, I, like, I kind of want to like her, but then I'm just, like, kind of annoyed by her. Yeah. You know? And, and. She's fine.

Right. Yeah, she's just, she's fine. I, my mom went on and about, my mom's a big dark tower fan, so she was excited to see the movie, of course. And then she put all she could talk about, she's like, you know, it was kind of boring, but Idriselba gave me something to look at, man, I'll let him take his boots off underneath my bed anytime.

I was like, all right, mom, he's more for me. Your mom started talking like Sam Elliott. I'll let him hang up his coat on. After the hurricane, everything's been different down there. She's darker now But they came out okay, right? Oh yeah, yeah, they're fine. They're fine.

She was in the pool, fucking, with the wind blowing. It's like, get out of the pool, mom. She was probably get out of the pool. She's like, it's fine. All the trees came down already. All right. Stay in the pool then. Last question on the party of five trivia.

It's going to be the worst. Season 4, episode 23, Fools Rush in. Who won a prize? Griffin, Claudia, Kirsten? Griffin. Griffin. I knew that one. He was the thousandth customer at a grocery store.

It was, oh man, but that's the whole thing. I was at a bar the other night, and I was talking about party of five, lack of do. And then the, and I was like, oh, I was talking about Griffin, and the bartender was like, you know, like, he was the twin, right? And I was like, I didn't know that he was twin. The other one also acts as well, and the one that plays Griffin is the one that, like, beat somebody up and has been in jail for. a while and the other one has like done a bunch of other things and I had no idea. Jeremy London? Yes.

Yeah. He's got a twin but the, it's Jeremy London is the old. The dude from Moritz. So yes, yes. Yeah. Oh my Griffin. But he's the bad one. Oh yeah.

And then there's the other one. So there's a, there's a. Oh, God. Yeah, looking at his mug shop. Jason London. So Jason London is the bad one. Yes. Jeremy London is the good one, yeah.

But they're identical twins? Yes. Oh, weird. I know. Whoa. They're not identical, but like one of them's a little taller and, wow. Bigger, yeah. Wow, I probably always just thought that was one actor in twice as many movies.

Me too. Yeah. Huh. Interesting. He was in seventh heaven. Mm-hmm. Uh-oh. Oh, you know what happened on that show.

Uh-oh. Although Griffin was a teen that I would definitely massage a little, too far down. When you were also a teen. When I was also a teen. He wasn't even a teen as a teen in the fucking show. We all know this. Well, let's get your results.

What are my fucking results? You, oh, no. I did poorly. You did so badly. Well, it was all the actors names. How am I supposed to know that stuff? You're supposed to ask relevant things. They did it.

What about the picture he asked Owen to draw? What about who did Owen get bathed by? He got bathed by all of them. He was a child. 347 out of 1,000. Ouch. You got to start over. I got to start over again.

I got more work to do. Well, now I feel I still want to watch it, but I really should have started sooner because now if I'm watching it on my own journey, I'm just going to have to be texting you. That's fine. You can text me about it. I did that with Friday Night Lights with Marcus. Okay. Constant. Very constant

I just needed to talk to someone about it Yeah sometimes you gotta talk to somebody about it And that's why I've been talking about Party 5 everywhere To everybody Do absolutely anyone that will sit and listen to me So I wear the dark lipstick now Because of Neff I'm gonna be Neff Campbell someday

And I need to start having more of a whimpered look All the time That's gonna be my new thing Ugh Yeah I'm gonna be slinkage She's like oh Jackie she's sling Slinks. Slinks?

Yeah, I slink. Yeah, never slinky. I'm a slinkage. Oh, I don't know what slinky is. You know, like getting slinky. What about getting skinky? Oh, no, no, no, no, skinky. Oh, no, that's wayward and fast.

You ever seen a skink move? I know you've seen a skink move before. They are, oh man, they are disgusting. I've never seen a skink. Oh, I like skinks. They're cute. They like waggle move, and they move really, really fast to the point of the point of the skank. you're just like, what is it?

Is it a snake with legs? And you know what? It is. And yeah, because their head blends right into their rest of their body. Their neck is as thick as their head. And then they have this like long tail and they like waggle like a fucking snake, but they got legs. Just like the guy from who I was talking about last night. Not he doesn't waggle.

It's just that his neck is thick. You know, the guy from flipper flop. Oh, also, sidebar, uh, uh, Jojo and Chipper have fucking target line coming out. For Christmas Target Home goods I love Target I love Jojo

I am gonna buy so many Novelties for fucking Christmas from their line Finally I can decorate my home with JoJo's touch I'm gonna get

Candlesticks I'm so excited I'm gonna get fake books What I love about them is that they announced this like right yesterday and like everyone who loves them was like tagging everyone else

who loves them I couldn't wait to talk to you about it. Yes. I love Target. Harth in hand. I love it. With Magnolia. The hearth in hand is a little bit heavy-handed. But, you know, I'm just sad because the pioneer woman is at Walmart,

and that makes me sad, but I still have bought a bunch of her stuff. But I will definitely go to fucking Target anytime. Yeah, I think I'm over the pioneer woman. She is one of those chefs who really seems like she's forcing happiness on her family, and they don't want it. I think that they love each other, and I think that they love working on the ranch. I mean, her husband And they love horses

They do love horses Her husband does have stunning eyes I will admit that He's so sexy Marlboro Man Yes But I just feel like she's always like Oh hey girls I'll just hang out with you for your sleepover

Well you know it's a television show Molly Yeah but those girls don't want mom hanging around She probably never hangs out with those kids She's like oh boys can I come into your boy cave I brought you some boy snacks Yeah I like that she has like individual like Man food and women food Yes very good

It's very misogynistic, and I think it's so hilarious. The boys are out learning how to be cowboys. So we're going to put some extra butter in these cookies. Well, I don't know if that's massagist. I think it's sexist. Sexist. Yeah, because to say that men want to be fat, what if we want something slimming? What if I want a spring roll?

I never do, and I never will. I always want the shit with all the butter on it, that's super unhealthy. What about a lettuce wrap? That's for the women. I don't want a lettuce wrap either. I'd eat a lettuce wrap. Well, then I'd get... If I had, like, 20 of them.

If I had, like, a gaggle of lettuce wraps, so I could just go... I don't just suck them back. Well, it looks like me and Jackie fit into nice little boxes. Molly, you can go now. You can go be different somewhere else. I don't understand your kind. I'm non-binary because I don't like lettuce wrap.

One of the many ways in which I try. She's a side of the gender binary. Molly is smashing the system, and it makes me uncomfortable. Me as well, starts calling her, you know. I don't know what I'm going to call her. I mean, I'll eat a lettuce wrap if you hand it to me. Yeah, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I'm not going to make a lettuce wrap.

No. But if it's given to me, I'll eat anything for the most part. If they give it to you, what are you going to do? Step on it? I mean, politely eat it, but I'm not going to enjoy it. That or you could take out all the content. and just dump it in your mouth. I think that's worse than stomping on the floor.

I think that's worse because that's just... Undisarding the lettuce. Yeah, just discard just dumping a bunch of, like, fucking trash in your mouth is... I think, I don't know if that's more rude. I think that's just... It's uncouth. Yeah. But who wants to be cooth these days?

Cuth is out. Cuth is out. Pioneer woman's super cooth, though. No, well, she's just a mom. She's just a mom. But she... I just... I don't know what it is that I don't like about her.

I think that she is uninspired. Interesting. I think she's just like a boring lady with a show. But you know what? She's got that show and she's got all the lines. She wrote her own fucking books. She's done everything. Yes.

And I still think that her recipes are good. Her recipes are good. I've used so many of her fucking recipes. I just feel like she's like a little bit, she's on the spectrum of mediocrity and excellence. She's definitely closer to mediocrity. All right. I will give you that.

But I really like her recipes and I really like Marlboro Man. Her name is. is re. Yeah, re-drummed. Although before I even watched the show, I would just look at her blog and I would just use the recipes. I just thought she was a big black woman

the way she cooked where she's like, put extra butter. And it's like the way like Paula Dean cooks, but just a little more refined. Right. Yeah, she's like slightly less, well, hopefully less, entirely less openly racist. Yes.

Yeah, let's hope she just takes that one out. Yeah, you know. It's bar for being less openly racist than Pauline, not high. And she's meeting it. And so if we're going for Southern butter recipes, then I will take her any day 100%. But if we're talking about my best friend on the food network,

it obviously remains Ina Garden forever. You know, Jeffrey. Terrified of her. I would be too, man. You imagine all the guns she's got in that house. Yeah, and her nuclear code knowledge. She knows a lot. But so does he.

I think that they might really be. one of the most powerful couples in the country. Whoa. Because he's like a, isn't he like a fucking military boss? Yeah, something, something, something. He's like a real, like whenever she's like, oh, he's going back to Connecticut. And he's going to like, you know, fucking plan the next invasion of the country, you know. He's very smart, but he's not allowed to have sex with whom he would like to have sex with.

I think he is allowed to have sex. Well, he does. Yeah, he just keeps it very quiet. A man like that, he already has a lot of secrets. So definitely. Fuck it. Have some more. Slap some more on there.

Slap another secret on there. I wish I could have all those secrets. I can't have that many secrets. Slap a butt. I have no. Yes. Oh, yeah, he's slapping butts. I can't have secrets.

I'm too open. My mouth is always flap, flap, flap, flap, flap. Do we think, I don't know if we've discussed this before. We've discussed a lot about Inagarten, but do we think she's also getting side pieces? Because we know that she hangs out with gay guys. I think that she's too, I think her mouth is too tight. But do we think she has a sexuality? She doesn't seem super sexual.

I don't think she does. I think that she's just it. Now, what is her name again? Ina Garton. I am a G-A-R-T-E-N. And I go back and forth between... And she talks like this. She talks very...

And she's very excited about making Jeffrey his chicken. But can't you just picture her just getting really sumptuous? I don't know because I think that she would never have enough candles. I think that she would have to get to the kitchen and take the meatloaf out of the oven. That's true. She would always be like, we have to finish this because I have something. Wrap it up. Wrap it up.

Just wrap it up. But, you know, she does. She would make it just so. Now the key to having a room that you want to fuck in is to put the centerpiece right off to the side. That or I believe maybe she like makes sure that she gets hers and then never satisfies the other person. Yes. I could see that. Yes.

That's just like a one and done. Or after she comes, she goes, how easy was that? That is what she's her catchphrase. Or after she makes somebody else come, it would be better to say that. How, ew. That would be so gross, you make your partner come. How easy was that? I feel like I would take offense to that.

I'm like, what, you wanted me to make it harder? I have a real challenge to anybody whose partner knows about Ina Garten to make them come and then say, how easy was that? Right away and see what their reaction is. I love it. All right, it's time for the list. Who's on the list? Barkin. Gotta have that list.

Celebrities with incredible fish tanks. What? That's a good list. Oh, you love that fish tank reality show, right? Or is that me? Did I watch the fish tank reality show? I think you watched a fish tank reality show and forgot about it. I just assumed because of Cake Ball said it was you.

But it was me with the Fish Tank Reality show. So you watch Tank? Tank. Tank. Dang. Cake Boss is a totally different show, which you would love if you just gave it a chance. I got to give it a chance. But also, actually, we've forsaken Cake Boss because I think that he's made too many mistakes. Whoa.

But so goodbye, Cake Boss. But tanks, I don't know, but it sounds, that actually does sound like something I would watch. It was pretty boring. Well, tanks, dunks, manufactures into the high decibel family-owned business of acrylic tank manufacturing. One of the countries leading and most successful builders of aquariums. They make big fish. I don't want to watch that. I do want to watch a different reality show that I saw a commercial for called Pool Kings,

which is just a show about awesome pools. All right, I'll watch Pool Kings. God, I got to get that sling. Pool Kings over tanks. Madonna's got a pretty sweet fish tank. I bet she does. Does it say what's in or it's just who has got them? It just says Madonna reportedly has an expensive, erotic, exotic fish tank.

I wish it was erotic fish tank. Erotic. And gerotic fish, I look at them and I get my pussies all squirty, squirty. You could decorate a fish tank to look like the inside of a strip club. Ooh, that would be fun. Make them, like, go around, like, feed them so that the food comes out of the stripper pole. So it makes it look like they're dancing around the pole. Or the inside of a vagina.

Ooh, that's kind of fun too, where it just, like, keeps like, but it's like a heat. It's like a throbbing vagina. Yeah, or a butthole. Yeah, butthole. This is my butthole fish tank. Get tanked on it. Mariah Carey is amongst the list of celebrities with lavish fish tanks. She can't even take care of herself.

Or why. Or her children. So she just has a whole other boy that has to come in and take care of this fucking fish tank. Yeah, can you imagine how much money that these celebrities spend to hire the boys who do their fish tank? Yeah. Yeah. Kanye West has a 250-gallon aquarium at the end of his bathtub. Just stare.

See, I guess I never really got, I'm down with an aquarium. him, but like, I don't want fish in my home because I'm never going to sit there and stare at. Yeah. But then I thought that, then I was in a home where someone had a thing. Yeah. I talked at the fish. Yeah. Yeah.

But I was upset because it's like, you can't touch them. Yeah. I can't cuddle with them. Can't even touch the glass. I know. Well, I tapped the glass. Yeah, you're not supposed to tap the glass. You know, I don't know what's tap the glass.

Yeah, but I can see you getting real blazed and staring at some fish. Yeah. I guess. Yeah, but I'd rather one of those fake, like, ones you get in Chinatown with the fake fish going by. I don't need a fish tank. I just need a lava lamp. I need a lava lamp. That's exactly.

Usher has an acrylic tank manufacturing fish tank in the trunk of his car. See no room. So they never see any light. And it looks like shit. Oh, why? It just looks like you're driving a fish tank home from the pet store. There's no reason for that. They're just stuck in that fucking car.

You're right next to the subwifers. Man, that thing fucking shanks, too. That's awful. That's mean to the fish. Yeah, that's bad. They can't survive like that. They probably die left and right. Bad usher.

We had a guinea pig that was next to a, like a fire alarm. The fire alarm went off. Gany pig fucking died, man. Her name was Lizzie. Just from the noise? Yeah. How many guinea pigs did y'all have? We had a lot of guinea pigs.

We had a lot of, we always had guinea pigs. I don't know why we had them. I do have the kind with the messed up hair. We had the one with the messed up hair with like the long, gross hair. Then we had a lot of the short-haired ones. and they're just fucking loud and they're disgusting. I do. I feel like.

I mean, that's a cute sound. It is a cute sound. I'm watching it like feeding them a carrot. That's cute. But I'd rather have a rabbit or a hamster. Yes. Well, never a hamster. But I'd want one of those big lop-eared bunnies.

Yeah, those are good. Rats are all so smart. Rats are all so smart. Brats are good pets. Brat's supposed to be real good pets for about three years. You should find one outside. Just bring one home, save it. Adopt it.

Yeah, get a rescue rat. I think that that's what you should do. Share reportedly has an elaborate aquarium. Well, hers is probably great. Yes, it's probably got big, like, feathers or something coming out of it. Everything she does is perfect. Yeah, I really like Cher a lot. Tracy Morgan appeared on an episode of Tanked looking for a new aquarium for his octopus.

I watched that episode. Octopuses are too smart. They are, you ever see, watch what? I love to have an eye. They are pretty cool. I'm a big fan of the octopus. They're brilliant, right? You have to have a huge, I mean, you've got to have the space for it.

You can't just have it in a tiny little thing. No, you got to have a big, big, big tank for the octopus. But watching them move, though, is pretty, I mean, it's pretty cool. Yeah, they're beautiful. I would stare at an octopus. Yeah, for a long time. Yeah. Ink.

I don't want to make ink, though. Ice-T has a whole fish tank for his sharks. See, sharks, I don't think they should be inside. Yeah? Leave them outside. Let them out there. That's how I feel about octopi, I think, as well, unless you can make a really fucking awesome octopoeia. But, like, yeah, I feel like have your really cool fish.

I mean, I don't know. Maybe that's hypocritical. Maybe fish have complex brains as well. But I feel like, yeah. I think that's a bit. Yeah, I don't think that they have complex brains. I don't think you should have birds either, though. I don't think fish feel emotions.

Yeah, I don't think so either. Yeah. But I think sharks. might. Aren't sharks smart? Aren't sharks smart? I don't think sharks feel emotions either way. It's just swim and eat and swim and eat.

Yeah, because they can't stop swimming. Yeah. They got to keep going. Aren't octopi like the pig of the... They are the pigs of the sea. As everyone call. Oh yeah, of course, yeah, no, the pigs of the sea. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, no, it doesn't have to do with their physicality. No, no, not in the slightest. Steven Spielberg has an aquarium in his office. You know? Yeah. Yeah. Because imagine just like he's just boring enough. I don't know.

I don't think. Yeah. It's like a boring thing. You know what it is? It just depends on like share and a fish tank. Stellar. Stephen Spielberg and a fish tank. It's like a reflection of who you are.

Boring. Either stellar or boring. I mean, I respect Steven Spielberg very much, but I think that he's, I am sure, a very boring person to be. No, I bet he's fascinating. You think he's fascinating? Yeah, yeah. You tell him, oh.

I'm talking Steven's River right now. That time I was working on Indiana Jones. Well, that's a boring one. I don't know if he would get into those stories. I feel like he's too boring. I think he would get into those stories. If you needed him? I think.

You'd just start kneading on him, like making biscuits on them? I think if it was a slow date, I think he'd bring up your Indiana Jones stories. I mean, that would be pretty cool. Yeah. He's married, right? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah

I would I would go on a Steven Spielberg Yeah I don't mean To trash talk Steven Spielberg I guess I just don't think of it like radiance

When I think of him Yeah Yeah yeah Just a good hang Yeah Yeah it's not gonna be a big Like it's lunch I'd smoke a bunch of weed

With Steven Spielberg Actually I'd like to have A nice fish dinner with him In front of his fish tank You fucking cannibal creep I think I just started thinking of fish Because we were talking about fish tank It's like fish

It sounds pretty good Yeah I bet he'd be a good person I have fish with Yeah I'd bet you take you A really fancy restaurant Yeah I bet Or maybe he cooked me dinner at his house.

Oh, imagine the kitchen he has. Oh. It's time for fine on him. We can't see him. Which Academy Award winner has got more mileage than most out of his Oscar, if you know what I mean. Did he fuck it? Don't know what you mean. He likes to get new conquest to slather it in lube.

And fuck it. And slip it in his butt. Matthew McConaughey. No. Jack Nicholson No He's got a new Oscar he said Not a new Oscar he wanted a few years ago

I'm actually at this point Probably about 10 years ago 10 years ago Slips it in his ass On a Netflix show now Kevin Spacey Likes the Oscar up the old I mean that makes

Complete sense He is a complete sentence Dirty man Yeah yeah yeah I remember K-Pax I remember I remember fucking K-Bex There's a many

many, many, many stories out of Hollywood about how Kevin Spacey is just fucking filthy. Man. You know, I don't want to be judgmental about what anybody puts in their butts, but there's just something like so ecotistic, like the idea of getting off about the idea of a trophy that you have. That is very egotistical. That is a little bit hard to, like, any other shape,

any object you want to put in your butt, like, good for you. But there's something about, like, being, like, coming because you're thinking about yourself at your trophy. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, can you imagine you're a young man. mid-20s you go in with Kevin Spacey going with this old man and then he makes you shove a statue up his ass

I mean you would definitely do it you have to do it I guess and it's interesting that it's his own butt and not other people's like even fucking somebody else with your trophy makes more sense to me than fucking yourself with your trophy yeah but then you can just think about how great you are while it's happening you don't feel like you know you know I got an Oscar yeah I'm one of the most revered actors of modern times and I'm shoving their appreciation in my own asshole. And then having my boy clean it off afterwards.

Oh, I hope he cleans it well. Yeah, got to take care of that Oscar. I mean, yeah, it's an Oscar. Can't send away for another one because you ruined it. It's like, sorry, the loop got to took some of the gold shine off of it. Can I get another one? That would be great. And you know what?

That's pretty much it for blind items this week. Real slow week on blind items. Yeah. Dog, I guess we're getting into the early days of fall. We're in a transitionary period right now. So not a lot of juice. We had all the juice out last week. Last week was a juice week.

Oh, that was juice. That was juice. I am, well, I am definitely looking forward to the blind items about J.Law and Darren Aronofsky after this fucking premiere weekend happens. It's going to fall apart. Of course it's going to fall apart. I can't wait to watch it happen. Yeah, because I saw blind items at first she was texting that dude.

And then it's, I had a blind items that. Nicholas Holt. Yeah, Nicholas Holt. She was texting him in July. It's ex-perman-month. And Jackie, you got to look up the trailer for the Idrisalba and Kate Winslet movie. I definitely will. They're going to fuck on the mountain.

Yes. They're going to fuck on the mountain. I think you might like it. We'll see you next week.