Page 7 - Episode 215: Bazinga!

Episode Date: September 20, 2017

Jackie, Marcus and Molly review questionable Emmys outfits, speculate how Malia Obama is fairing in college, and learn which celebs have pet pigs. Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

I just want to sing Black Widow by Iggyzalia, but I can't do it justice. It's like, all I want to do, it's fucking stuck in my head, and I love it so much. But I don't know how it goes, so... I'm going to love you until you hate me, and I want to love you. Oh, okay. I'm a black widow, baby. I'm not a rapist. I don't know.

Neither is she. She, I really like that song, though. But again, that's 2014. So, you know. It's 20. Oh, yeah, but it's new to you. It's new to me, and I am enjoying it greatly. 2014 was a good year for female-centric popular music.

Oh, yeah? I don't know. I feel like that era, I feel like there was some good Kesha around that time, you know. 2014, good year. Probably it. We're putting it down. Yeah, put it down. I saw a blind item today that Kesha at the VMAs was in the back, wasted, picking out loose teeth.

Loose teeth. Sounds like a verse in one of her songs. So I On brand Yeah totally on brand I have no See that's what One of the things I admire about Kesha

Is you set yourself up To be like I get too fucked up And then when you get too fucked up You're on brand It's great That's my fucking life baby That's my more good Lord

We've all mastered that to some extent We all got our brand So you were the Emmys were last night I didn't watch it You're welcome Thank you Thank you very much. First off, in terms of dress news, what's her name?

Marsha Clark from People v. O.J. Simpson. Oh, yes. Emily. Sarah. Paulson. Yes. Thank you. She had a dress that was like it was a joke.

It was like a joke 80s prom dress. I didn't understand it and upset me because she's so pretty. Was she with her milf money? I did not watch the red carpet. Oh. Pretty sure she was with her milf, yeah. Hell yeah, man. She's fucking hot, too.

But she presented an award, and it looked like she was doing a joke. Like, it looked like she was with her friends at a thrift store trying stuff on. Here, check it out. Check out the dress, Jackie. Oh, yeah. No, that's rough. Silver sequin. But it's got the puffy arms, like an 80s prom dress, but it's completely and totally silver sequence.

It's like wearing a disco ball. But it also looks like it doesn't fit her properly. That was the thing. I was like, maybe this is a purposeful poof dress. Maybe that's poof sleeves are coming. back, I don't know. They are. I went shopping today and everything that is out for fall and winter, don't wear it. It's all covered in fucking ruffles. Everything looks like you're dressed, like you want to look like a kid. Like all the pants have like bedazzled dragonflies on them. It's like, what happened?

What happened? Like, I'm here to spend my money and I couldn't even find anything. Oh, yeah, ruffles especially. It's not into ruffles. Didn't like them when I was young? Don't like them now. No, and they're all over everything. They put it in the middle like a belly button ruffle. And there's like weird mid-arm ruffles now? I hate it. Even if it looked good, which I don't think that it does, there's probably a certain type of person who could rock poofy sleeves. She's gorgeous, but it did not, the dress did not look like it fit her at all.

It was like hanging, it was hanging off of her and not in like a, I'm slinky way, like in a, just ill-fitting. It's bulky. It was confusing. It was deeply confusing. That was the one dress that I really, like, noticed. And then, oh, there was one other dress that was bad, but I can't remember what it was now. I'm looking, I'm searching for some worst dressed right now.

There was a lot of excellently dressed people though, including all the little boys from Stranger Things. I love them. They looked so good. Millie Bobby Brown looked great. I did watch it. I finally saw it and that kid is so fucking great. He's great.

He's great. He reminds me of me when I was a kid. Just a loud and foul mouth and just saying fuck every other word and making really dirty inappropriate jokes that no one likes. About all of your mothers. Yeah. It's always about your mothers. That's great.

Did you guys see that the person who plays Pennywise is Alexander Scars. But Gar's hot, hot brother? Oh, I have not seen him in real life. No. He is exceptional. And Alexander Scars Guard won for Big Little Lies last night. I know. And he looked so good, even though he had a stash.

He still looked good. He's just so fucking hot. And then I did, oh, the dumb websites that they're like, you got to see the kiss. Like the kiss because when he won, Nicole Kidman kissed him on the lip. but I was so excited. I was like, I want to see this fucking kiss.

I clicked on. I was like, that's it? Yeah, it was just like a lot. It was a peck. Yeah. And they're like, but in front of Keith Urban. It's like, dude, he, they had such intense sex scenes for so many months. Give me a break.

I think she could kiss him on the mouth like that. Yeah, for sure. And also, every time I see Keith Urban, I'm confused as to why Nicole Kimman is married to him. It's got to be the Australian thing. I think it's it. They're just like, oh, I'm Australia. Ooh, I'm Australian. Let's us have sex.

And I will wear my sweatbands on my fucking forearms. It was like, last night was no exception. I was just like, oh, Nicole Kimman, I'm so glad you won. Okay, you're so weird, but you're doing a good job. Okay, good speech, mentioned domestic violence, good job. Oh, Keith Urban, why are you there? Like, why? Especially when you, I mean, I know that they're just actors,

but after pretend fucking Alexander Scars Guard, going back to Keith Urban must be a rough one. I wouldn't. I wouldn't. I was like, sorry, I can't do this anymore. You imagine how many times a day he flat irons his hair? Yeah. It's like, I used to flat iron my hair when I was 16 years old, and it takes a long time.

Yeah. But I wonder what his hair looks like if it's not flat ironed. Is it wavy? What doesn't he like about it? Why does he do that? It's disgusting. And it's so 90s? Is it?

90s? That's extremely 90s. It's like a bowl cut that's grown out. Yeah. I kind of used to have that haircut. But you weren't flat ironing your hair. I was not flat ironing my hair, but actually my hair looked a lot like that. When I was in college, yeah.

I think that's fine. I think having had hair that looked like that is fine. Sure. Continuing to have it still. Yes. I was in my late teens, early 20s. That's one thing. That's fine.

That's totally fine. Maybe into my mid-20s. But when you're a superstar, come on. Yeah, you can do better than that. Clean that up. Alexander Skarskar's brother, the one that's in it. His name, Bill. Bill Scarscar.

Hi, nice to meet you. Bill Scarscar here. It's not what he sounds like, I bet. Did you find a picture of his beauty? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Beautiful Penny West. I mean, he's just not as hot as Alexander Scarscar, though.

But I like him because he's more, like, quirky hot. Yeah. He's more like, ooh, brooder in the bar that's like, man, I'm going to sleep with you. Right. And he's like, oh. Also, PtW, I'm the scary clown from it. Hell yeah. Yeah, he is great.

And Alexander Scars Guard was killing it. Other fashion yes is Donald Glover looked awesome. I loved Donald Glover. Yeah, he was so handsome. You had a purple suit on. Hell yeah. I love the trend of colorful suits. Yeah, he won twice for acting and directing.

That's awesome. Fuck yeah. Yeah, and was like the first black person to win in that category ever for one and then since 1985 for the other. Yeah, so he looked awesome and had a very successful night. And there was just like a lot of good suits that I was noticing. The dresses I was noticing less, but a lot of exceptional suits last night. Let's look at some of those bad dresses.

Let's see them. Yeah, and I want y'all to describe for the listeners at home, Jane Fonda's big pink thing. Truth. Flaired arms. Long, flair, arms. Bright, hot pink. But at the same time, I don't think Jane Fonda can do no wrong. I don't know if that's worse.

Come on. Yeah, I don't think that's worse. She is almost... This year, she is turning 80 years old. Look at her fucking figure. She was born in 1937. I looked it up last night. Oh, my God.

1937. I was like, this has to be wrong. The Wikipedia is wrong. She can't be 80. She's 79 about to turn 80. And she is serving up some hot pink realness. I disagree with E. Yeah, I do.

I disagree as well. This Brandon Flynn fella, where in what is a power... The guy from 13. Reason reasons why. Powder blue suit and a very long skinny tie. Yeah, he just looks like a high schooler. Well, he is a high schooler, I think.

I mean, he just, why was he there? Was 13 reasons why he up for anything? It was, yeah. Oh, really? Mm-hmm. Huh. Weird. How about that?

It's Amanda Crewe, who I don't really know who she is. But she's got a sunset on her body, and you can see her pussy hair. You can definitely see it. It's a turtle neck long dress, and what is that called? When you're all, Ombre. Albre. I like this dress. It is sheer.

You can see her belly button and you can see her pussy. You can completely see her pussy. She is saying yes queen. Wow, this is a yes. You can't see her nipples because the top of the umbrella is deeper than the bottom of the amp. Yeah, they miscalculated the ombr. Yeah, they needed more, they needed more of a, what is that called? More pussy ombrose.

That's what it's called. They needed more pussy ombron. down there. Ooh. Very cool. From leftovers. Oh, people love the leftovers. I haven't seen that.

This is a horrible dress. Too poofy. It is a sleeveless dress that is poofy in the breast, too poofy in the breast. And the bottom is crinoline, but this is awful. It's got a cinch.

This is so ill-fitting. It's got an empire waist. It's got flowers on one of her breasts. And it is disgusting. It is absolutely hard. It's a baby pink. It's like a coral pink. It's coral pink with like baby shower pink.

Yeah. Baby shower pink. Off white, gross, dirty crannolin. Yeah. All right. Let's go for another one. Oh, wait. That was one of, thank you.

This was one of the ones that I also didn't like. We got a, what's her name? Deborah Messing. Deborah Messing, yeah. Oh, whoa, whoa. It's an off the shoulder, crinkly guy. It looks like it's made out of plastic. It's very wide.

White, is this a new thing that the dresses don't fit anymore? Is it supposed to be big and poofy? Because that doesn't, like, wear her breasts. You just see fucking plastic fabric. Yeah. And also, like, she has a great... She has a great bond. Yeah.

And I feel like this flufiness is not doing anybody any favors. Mm-mm, not at all. Reese Witherspoon wearing... I don't know. Looks like a blazer. It looks like a long blazer. There's a long blazer. Ceteen.

Blazer dress. Although I did see a lot of these kind of fucking dresses when I was shopping today. Yeah. Yeah. This is like a new thing, but it's just like it just looks like a long jacket. Yeah, it's a dress, but it's a long jacket. But I guess that's sexy, right? Like cake, you know? Like, ooh, if I bend over, I'm not wearing any pants. Yeah. And it's like, oh, do I have clothes on under here? No, I don't. Oh, when you put it that way. You know, that's kind of sexy. I mean, I think she actually looks great. It just doesn't feel very like red carpety to me. It seems like sexy job interview. It looks like sexy job interview. It's definitely sexy job interview. But I like that. It's a lot.

It's like a navy blue though, and I think it looks really good with their skin, too. Mm-hmm. I like that. We've got what's your name, Vanessa Kirby. It's another flowy, weird one. Asymmetrical. I think that asymmetrical dresses are very hard to pull off. Especially when you have asymmetrical flowers on your breast.

Yeah. I don't want flowers on my breast. Asymmetrical boobs, right. Like, I feel like if you have an ace, like a... I don't want flowers out my breast. How many times do I have to say? No flowers on my breast. Get these flowers off my breast.

Like, yeah, like an asymmetrical thing, like with a design on the side or something, like on the bodice. I feel like asymmetry can look cool. But one boob floofed with flowers and then one boob plain is just, it confuses the eye. It's very strange. We got, oh, the guy Michael Mando from Better Call Saul. That is, it is a plaid jacket. It is a blue and black plaid jacket. With a fucking bow tie.

This is unfortunate. I know you're trying to stand out, but oh, come on. Yeah, that's a mess. Yeah. Oh, that's a bad one. Rashida Jones. She's fine. Separate breasts, though.

Yeah, her breasts. That's the opposite where they're pulled off to the side like fucking... Anna Kendrick. Oh, yes, like Anna Kendrick and also like Cameron Diaz. Yes, Cameron Diaz. I will forever be grateful to the listener who knew what I was trying to describe Anna Kendrick's breasts. And I said breast sex.

and somebody was like, you meant to Anna Kendrick's dress. And I was so thankful because that's exactly, I'm glad it was descriptive because it looks like breast sex. And I'm not attracted to breasts like in general. So I was like, maybe I'm missing something. But I don't think that it does the best thing for breasts. What do you think about those breast sacks, Marcus? And they're sacks.

It's sacks. Like, I don't want to feel like I'm like bringing home breasts from market. It looks like the orange has got out of the bag. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know? No, no, no, no, no. Just give me breasts. the way they are, the way they were meant to be.

Exactly. There. Hang in there. Just give them to me there. Yeah, I just want them. Don't bring them to me like it's fresh direct. Too much packaging. But also the Rashida Jones dress was also lilac,

and I think that I dislike that color. Yeah, a lot of pastels on that list. Well, I got a lime green for you. McKinsey Davis. I don't know who the fuck that is. But again, it looks like she's pregnant. Maybe she is pregnant. Yeah, another ill-fitting one.

Yeah, they're all ill-fitting. I think that's what makes it worse dress. It's ill-fitting. Oh, Vanessa Berry. Oh, there's a hotel room missing curtains. Yeah, it does look like hotel room curtains. But at least the dress fits her in the bodice. Yeah, she's got that.

Yeah, I like the cut of that dress. Mandy Moore, she looks like a, what is that, an Oreo. Yeah, like an Oreo. Like a big weird Oreo. Does it have pockets or her hands in her pockets? Or her hands swallowed by how big the bottom of her? of the dresses. It has pockets.

I don't think that's that bad of a dress. Whoa. Who's that? Ariel Winter. I don't know who that is either. Let me look up Ariel Winter. Those big leg slits when they have their naked legs coming out of the whole dress and then still a long dress.

I don't understand why you wouldn't just have a short dress. But also it looks like she has a weird like penis cover because there's the thing in the middle of it. Like there's too much space. Yeah, loin cloth. Yeah. I think she looks like a mortar combat character and it's kind of hot. Yeah, but I guess.

But it's like that middle piece is really where it loses me. It's like making like a leotard. Or like one slit. Like I feel like Michelle Obama recently was wearing a dress that had like a high. Ooh, was it sexy? Yes. Like one high slit coming up the leg. And like that I get because you're like, ooh, leg.

Oh my God. And her legs are so amazing. Yeah. And her arms. It was great. But two big open slits seems different. Too much. Man, I wonder how much Malia is getting pounded at college.

I bet she's getting D from every fucking direction. Can you imagine? You imagine, I'd go after her. Man, just, she's gorgeous. Maybe people are intimidated by her. Yeah, I guess that could be it. I don't know, man. I had some buddies that went to UT while the Bush twins were there.

Well, they were. Nobody was intimidated by them. Yeah, but they're different levels of prestige. Party girls. Yeah, they were slutty party girls. Yeah, they were party girls. Yeah, they were definitely party girls. Yeah, one of them, I can't remember which one of that.

I mean, they liked to drink. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't hear any, like, slutty things, but they like to party. All I know is that they're allowed to party. it's all I'm allowed to say because one of my cousins is a secret service agent and he was on detail on them

after the Bush administration and all he would say is that yeah they go out a lot and I was like do you have to like stand outside the door when they go like bang dudes he's like I can't really talk about that

and just did like a kind of a tiny nod and I was like man that sucks just listening to the Bush girls have sex I don't know, I just feel like if I wanted to make out with Malia Obama, and she's so cool and great, and I really hope she is making out with a lot of people, but I also feel like I would just be picturing like a stern, paternal Barack Obama the entire time.

I bet that she is probably not loose-lipped downstairs. She can't be. I bet she's not. She's too, like, she looks like she was just raised too well. I don't know. I've definitely read a few things in blind items to say that the Obama, that, the older one, Malia.

Yeah, yeah, that Malia, she likes to party. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, there's a, no, there are some, the word rehab is getting bandied around quite a bit. She's like 18. What are you talking about? You can go into rehab much younger than 18.

That's very true. Yeah, you can go to rehab like 13, right? Well, then it's a problem, but she's at college. Yeah. That's what you do in college. Yeah, get all fucked up, and you probably are under a lot of stress being like everyone's favorite president's daughter. Yeah.

I don't know. No. Don't stop me and react. So was there actually like fun things about themies this year? Because it seemed like it was just everybody being super serious. It was like escapism. Like it was like everyone was being like, the world is bad, but TV is good. And both of those statements are objectively true.

But I found it, you know, I'm not going to get into toilet flush territory, but I found it very unsatisfying. on a political level, except for a handful of speeches. Like, it wasn't like some other ceremonies where people are like, I'm really interested in politics. It was just like escapism. It was just like, let's robber it. And like, you know, like there is incredible TV.

But shouldn't that kind of be what it is? Like that? I mean, it is a bunch of rich people wearing crazy dresses getting wasted and like, and just like sucking each other's cocks. Yeah. And I think everybody that's watching is pretty much already on their side. Exactly. But that was the thing.

I feel like it's either, like either it should be like a big old romp or it should be like people making good points and this was kind of trying to have it both ways like when I saw like news coverage of it was like the Emmys gets political blah blah blah and it was like it didn't at all but so it was like I found it to be yeah I feel like yeah it's just a bunch of writer TV writers celebrating themselves and that's what it is and it's a bunch of rich people getting wasted and that's great but it wasn't it didn't have that like just free recklessness feeling like the Golden Globes or something it had like where they were it was just like occupying a kind of middle of

ground where there was some talk about politics, but it wasn't, none of it felt really, like, Riz Ahmed, who is so fine, did an amazing speech, I thought. Did you watch the night of? I haven't seen it. I've seen, like, the first few episodes. I've got to do it. It's supposed to be very good as well. There's too much good TV.

And I had to finish party of fought. That's the thing. You know, one thing that struck me watching the Emmys last night, I was like, there is a a fuck ton of good TV. Like every category, it would be like, big little lives, handmaid's tail, you know. I don't kind of want to see the crown. just because I love John Lithgow so much? It's really good.

Yeah. Do you think that I would like it? I think you would, actually. I think you would. Yeah, it's got a good pacing to it. There's some sexiness to it. There's not sex, but there's sexiness. Okay.

Where you can think about like, oh yeah, Queen Elizabeth Fox. Cool. Okay, yeah. Yeah, Prince Philip, Queen Elizabeth. Yeah, they fucked. In Africa, in a canopy, when elephants were down below going Congo heat There was much heat to be had

Oh hell yeah yeah yeah But then the king dies and it's very sad Oh spoiler alert You know the king died You know the king died Everyone knows the king died But yeah there was like some Betty and Joe Like there was just every category

I would be like oh I like that one I like that one I like so it was actually like a bunch of awesome TV And a bunch of amazing TV writers And like Master of Nunn won for a bunch of stuff And Atlanta one for a bunch of stuff So it was like, I was like super, basically I was, as I was watching it, I was like, there's so much awesome TV right now. And it's just like because of this very strange political moment there were. And I feel like it's just hard for people to like figure out how to talk about it.

I guess they got it out. I was like, hey, Alec Baldwin, you did a thing. Have an award. It doesn't matter if the other people are better than you and you are awful at that. Yes. Have an award. That had me annoyed. Yes.

I don't know why he got that. I don't know why either. He's awful at that. It's just him pushing his life. It's awful. Yeah. This might be a dumb question, but have S&L members gotten Emmys in the past? I don't.

Because they won everything last night. And I didn't think that was fucking fair. SNL is fucking awful. No, and that seemed like just, that seemed like an overture to the fact that they do politics. It was just like, oh, they're so, S&L shepherds us through this political moment. No. And I was like, oh, mm-mm. Yeah.

I like Kate McKinnon. Don't get me wrong, but it's like, I don't think that she should have gotten an Emmy for being an S&L. Yeah. I mean, not that the Emmys are like. like the end-all, be-all. I know, but still, like, I don't know. It did feel a little, yeah, cock goblin. Yeah.

It was cock-goblin? Yeah, like, gobbling. Oh, gobbling. Oh, I thought you meant like, Goblin. I thought you meant to gobbling. Yeah, fuck, goblin to me too. Cock goblin is a great band, though. Oh, that's a good, I like it a lot.

Yeah, Dave Grohl's in it, I think. Ooh. But, like, John Oliver, one of a bunch of stuff, and that shows, like, fantastic. That shows. Talk about good satire. I just feel like SNL political satire hasn't really been, It has moments, but it's not like the fact that they had like swept everything.

Yeah, it felt like it felt like this, oh, aren't we so in this political moment together? But it just felt kind of weak, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. They had a lot of brave moments. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Oh, so brave. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, unfortunately. Yeah, it had me bummed because, like, there is, I mean, fucking so much good TV. And Lena Waith was the writer who won for Master of Nunn. She was the first black woman and I think also the first queer person to ever win a writing Emmy. And she gave like an awesome speech about like if you are LGBTQ like we see you and we love you and you have value. And like that like that was really awesome. I think that like Marcus and I were talking that that the people that won for Handmaid's Tale are under fire because they weren't political in their speeches.

But the whole fucking show is is a statement. Yeah. Making the, I mean doing this, that is the statement. You are you like it's like yes it was there that's what the whole fucking thing was that I mean at this point you're just at the party and it's like you already said everything you needed to say they know that you obviously a lot like a lie with the fucking show yeah and there's a whole think piece on on slate that was like the handmaid's tail triumph at the Emmys but its winners miss their political moment it's like why why they did it already they already did it they like actually made talk about they actually made art like they actually made art like they actually did something and made art that wasn't like super overt. Like they actually did something cool. Right. Like I feel like it's, yeah, I feel like like, like I said, it's either, like I'm of two

minds like I think that if you're just like the lady, like the mean lady from Handmaid's tail, she won. She obviously wasn't expecting to win and she like staggered to the front and like halt. They gave this like kind of like she was like in a daze like speech where she was just thanking people. Like I think if you're just like, listen, I'm just going to take this moment to thank people.

Totally, totally, totally get that. But like the whole opening number by. Colbert was this whole like, you know, it was like, it was basically like the president, like Nazis love the president. And it was like that kind of set the tone like, okay, we're going to like do some politics here. But then they had Sean Spicer come on and be like a yuck, yuck, yuck, and that had me pissed. Because like.

John Spicer was with the Emmy? As a bit like redeeming that fucking Holocaust denier, you know. And so that it was just like, I totally hear you like either be like, okay, you know what? We made the Handmaid's Tale. I just have about 20 seconds. I'm going to thank my people and that's it. But instead it was like this kind of halfway in the middle. Like, again, like, thank you for this,

for recognizing this brave thing I've done. But then not really saying stuff. Or like, Nicole Gibman actually did a pretty good job, but also like I feel like illustrated the problem perfectly where she was like talked a lot about people she wanted to thank. And then she was like, and also let's talk about domestic violence. And I was like, okay, good, this is an opportunity for you to talk about domestic violence. It's bad.

Slap them. But then she was like... It's really bad. Goodbye. She like gave her speech. She was like, it's so... There's stigma, et cetera. And then she was like...

She was like, and by you recognizing me, you've done something to shine a light on it. And I was like, oh, no. It was like a, like a, you know, a giff of like somebody swinging a bat and then like falling over on their face, you know. It was just a... It was like a try. Like, you think... By recognizing the great contribution that I have made, I acting and getting paid a lot of money to do it.

Yeah. Very brave. It was a good try. Very brave. Very brave. Very brave. Well, Molly, I've got something for you that we were, I was in North Carolina doing a last podcast show a couple of weeks ago and I was hanging outside of a record store

enjoying the nice North Carolina son. And the record store also sold cassette tapes and a couple of fans saw me outside. hanging out, they went into the store and they got something for you in particular. Molly, your very own cassette copy of Wright Said Fred's first album. This is exactly the one that I had. Oh my God.

I wish everyone could see the huge smile on her face. I've never seen her this happening before. This is exactly my first tape. Maybe it's the actual one. Oh, my God. A love for all seasons, number one, four minutes and 16 seconds and no one on earth those are the first those and then I'm Too Sexy's number three that was as far as I ever got in the tape

I never listened to the red Well now you have an opportunity to continue Open it up see what the liner notes are like There's a whole other like six songs I can listen to Oh my god Do you have a cassette player? I don't But now you're gonna have to get one

I'll find one I'm sure that my Oh in our hipster fucking neighborhoods I'm sure that we can get you a cassette player I've got like three There you go Yeah you know I had forgotten that I used to read the lyrics along with, you know, in the liner notes. You got to.

That's how you still had the song memorized 20 years later. That is how. Liner notes are, and that's always been very important. Like, when I listen to music for the first time, I like to sit down with, like, the lyrics in front of me. I always have. That's why I never bought the singles of anything because it would always just be like the little piece of paper.

And I was like, that's not enough. Yeah. Where are the lyrics? Man, this is just like I remember. She's just so happy. Wow. Well, thank you. Do you know there, do you remember? I cannot remember the names.

But thank you. But thank you. They were super sweet and we went out and hung out afterwards. They were very cool people. This is extremely generous of you. And now I'm slightly less alone in my private hell of constantly thinking about right, said, friend. Your private hell.

I'm the only person in the entire world walking around singing, No one on earth can love me like you do. It's terrible. That's a fat song. Molly, it's such a bad song. It's really awful. But both of them were really bad. Yeah.

Yeah, it's true. I don't know. You mean the heart wants what the heart wants. Yeah. I was so moved by them when I was a kid. I was, again, I think I was six, but I was, I thought I was like, how could music be this good? Like, I thought it was so, this is why you have to play music for your children early and often. Oh, yeah.

And play better music. Yeah, what speaks to you is what speaks to you. You can't choose that. Yeah. I still listen to Barry Manil all the time. There you go. God, I fucking love. We cannot choose what hits us.

No, we can't. Speaking of that, I've started re-watching Bojack Horseman because the newest season just came out. Have you guys watched BoJack Horseman? I never watched it. It seems to be a bit of a downer. It's very depressing. I heard that it's like about trauma this season.

I restarted watching it from the beginning before I watched the fourth season because I watch it in a day and a half. So I decided it was like, I'm going to start over. But it's like an arrest of development where they start jokes from the beginning that keep popping up and I was like, oh my God, I love this show so much, but I didn't realize how fucking brilliant it is, and everything means something and comes back right, but like just throwaways.

It's so well written. I fucking love it so much. It's so fucking weird, and it gets so sad. It's so fucking sad, but as, you know, someone that is also in this business, it's kind of fun to watch that, you know, a horse, but he also, it's just about the other side of being an actor and the depression and the addiction and everything that comes with it.

It's pretty fucking amazing. All right. I love it. Yeah, I like, you know, devastating cartoons. I'm a Simpsons fan, you know, I feel like I'm... This one, I think, is definitely sad, more sad. More sad. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, The Simpsons isn't ever really that sad. Things usually work out by the end. Yeah, but I feel like it, yeah, things work out, but, like, the emotional depths that they will go to are very deep. I just wonder how close to home it hits with Will Arnett. Because I've heard a lot of stories about him. And I think that, like, he's all fucked up. You've heard stories about him?

I mean, I just, like, just like things that I've read that, like, you know, heresy. Yeah. But I'm just talking about that. I mean, he's just kind of an asshole that really, really fucking loves himself. Yeah. And it's like, I wonder how much on the nose with him BoJack Horseman is. And I would really like to find that out, but I don't know how. I also feel like it would just be devastating to be, like, I feel like it would be.

devastating to be an actor that was in something that is in something that is so beloved and then to like go on because you're just like constantly, you know, the child actor thing. Like even seeing Jason Bateman last night, he seemed kind of sad too and I was, maybe I'm just projecting, but I was like, it must just be so weird to be like, I had a thing

that I'll be known for forever that everyone loves and thinks is perfect and now I have to keep going on and being a working actor, you know? Like, it would be really hard. Better you just make a shit fuck a of money and then you do a bunch of drugs. You get really sad.

Yeah. Pull a Jody Sweet and just step out of the limelight. Oh, man. Interesting. Express. Yeah, so I want to do some research. If anybody knows, though, will you post it on the Facebook page? Any hot goss?

I want hot goss on Will Ornette. That's what I'm beaming for. Because, I mean, they did. I think that, like, Amy Poehler and Will Arnett, when they broke up, it was bad. I don't know if he's allowed to see the kids. Ooh. Yeah. So I know that there was, like, they had some, like, custody controversy or something a while ago.

I'm still sad about Anna Ferris and Chris Pratt. When I saw her last night, I felt sad. Oh, no. They agreed to joint custody a year ago. Okay, they finally figured that out, huh? Throw money at it, throw money at it. Their kids are named Abel and Archie. Yeah.

Although I like Archie, I think that's cute. It's just because of Riverdale, though, but I won't talk about Riverdale anymore. It's not on anymore. I'm done with that. I have to wait. It's off the first season? Is it one season so far? There's only one season, yeah.

So I'm waiting for the second season. to the point that I might have to like get rabbit ears so that I can get the CWs so that I can watch it as in place because I keep thinking about it. Hey, I only watch rabbit ears TV. It's fantastic. I got to get on the rabbit ears kick. It's a great way.

Like for example, like this weekend, woke up Sunday morning, so I married an ex-murder was on Laugh Network. So watch that. It was great. It was a fucking wonderful way to start a day off. I haven't seen that movie in so long. It's really, it's still really good.

Does it hold up? It totally holds up. Okay. At least the. very end does. Because you caught the last 20 minutes of it? I caught the last like hour of it. Oh, okay.

Yeah, yeah. So, and there's like a lot of hokey stuff where you're like, oh, yeah, I remember that joke. That joke kind of got done to death and all that. But then once it goes, like the end of it's really funny, Charles Groden shows up at the end as an exasperated man in a car, and he's very funny. I don't remember any of that. I know. I didn't remember any of it either.

And then he came on like, oh, that's really funny. I kind of want to watch the cable guy again. I wonder if that holds up. I would actually like to see if that holds up. I wonder if that holds up because I thought that movie was so funny. Me too. I saw it in the theaters. Oh, yeah.

Loved it. See, I had like a Jim Carrey, like, I was like a Jim Carrey hipster. I was like, I like his older work. Like, and so I was like, I'm not proud. I'm like, I was, okay. I had a bit of a chip on my shoulder. But so I did not like cable guy because I was like, I thought that like Ace Ventura and the mask were such perfection that I saw a cable guy. I was like, exactly what you were just talking about with Jason Bateman.

Yeah, I was like, this is stupid. But now I kind of want to be watching it because I'm sure it's. hilarious and I'm sure that I just was going in with like a close mind. Give it a shot. Maybe we should all do that this week. Wait, I don't think we ever talked about that Jim Carrey interview. Oh. He's a weird fucking interview at Fashion Week.

No, I don't think we ever did. He, well, because, all right, so, you know, his girlfriend killed himself and killed herself and the family is going after him. I believe they're suing him, but I'm not sure exactly like what the suing charges are, blaming him for her death. Wrongful death, yeah. Okay. Because it was in his apartment.

And the idea is that he should have intervened or something? I don't know. I think that she had depression issues, but he also has depression issues. But then Jim Carrey, so he went to Fashion Week, did this interview, and he was just like, I wanted to come to, I mean, for all intense. But he said, I want to come to, like, the dumbest, most vapid thing because what matters? None of this matters. None of this. Like, he's just, like, it was so bleak and so sad.

and he's just going through such an awful time. He's like, so I put on a suit. I wanted to find the thing that mattered the least, and I came here. That's basically what he said. And she's just like, okay. I'm kind of in agreement with him just a little bit. I kind of love it. But I think he's going all Randy Quaid.

I think he's like starting really fucking lose it, man. I think he's really starting to go there. Yeah. How could you not though? Can you imagine being. being a famous oh it must be so stressful to be that famous for that many years

But then you think about it's like all the great It's like that's why Robin William had such So many fucking problems with mental illness And it's just like he's obviously going through so much shit I just hope he doesn't kill himself Yeah I really hope he doesn't fucking kill himself That will suck

He is supposed to be a pretty bad guy Yeah yeah really Yeah he's supposed to be like a really awful piece of shit Yeah really bad to women Really really bad to women Yeah. Yeah. Abusive.

Fuck. Yeah. Everybody sucks. Right. Yeah, but you know, Ace Ventura is so funny. It's so funny. And I watched Dumb and Dumber again when I was sick in a hotel room recently. So funny.

So funny. I'll bet the mask is still really fucking funny too. I don't know if the mask holds up, but I know Dumb and Dumber holds up 100%. And so does Ace Ventura. Both of them. And when Nature calls, they both fucking hold up. Oh, yeah. I mean, if you're feeling bad and you want a good laugh, just watch the rhino scene from

when Nature calls. calls. So good. It's so good. I'm just thinking about it. That's all God, it's all good. It's great. It's so hot there. It's slowly himself out of it. You imagine how much that fucking hurt

on his body, just that rubber pulling at his fucking chest hair? It's great. Holds up. Dumb and dumber two, the dumb and dumberer? Don't waste your time. If you can imagine. I don't think so. I think I got 30 minutes in. I can't do this.

I actually just can't do this. There's nothing redeeming about this. And every joke was like five minutes long as like, okay, yeah, we get it. Yeah. We get it. Yeah. How about liar, liar, liar.

Does liar, liar, liar, hold up? I don't know, but I remember liar, liar being very funny. Yeah, I enjoyed it. Yeah, but it was just kind of the same joke over and over again. Yes, it was. Yeah. He had to tell truth. What kind of wacky situations he can get in this time about telling the truth?

Oh, his cops stopping him? Oh, how is it going to tell the truth? get out of that. Oh, he tells that he doesn't. He doesn't. Because the thing is that you think he's going to get out of the situation. But he's not. He can never get out of a situation. So the jams just get, keep getting deeper. Remember because he's a lawyer too? Oh, my God. Lawyers lie all the time. But he can't. He has to tell the truth. He has to. He has to. And then there's a kid.

Oh, man. There's a kid in there somewhere. Wait, why did he have to tell the truth? Do you remember? Because the kid, there was the kid's birthday wish is that he wished that his dad would tell the truth for just one day. God, that's the movie was one day. One day, yeah, and it almost cost him his career. Cool. And that lady from ER. Yes.

Sad lady from ER. Yeah, I don't remember her name. Abby something. Abby something. I think her name was Abby in New York. E. Oops. Abby from ER.

Abby from ER. Everybody knows Abby from ER. She kind of had a puss face. Oh, more tyranny. Yes, more tyranny. I mean, people do know more tyranny, not just as I be from ER. If you say so. I guess, I think.

Some weirdos out there. Pretty much liar, liar, ER and news radio. News radio, that's what she was in. But she was also a puss face in news radio. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, and she's a plan of character called Karen Barber in the upcoming movie, Beautiful Boy. Oh, good.

Sounds like something I want to see. Sounds like a child actor is it. Young Sheldon! Young Sheldon was there. Every time I see that fucking poster up. And it's everywhere. It's everywhere. You cannot fucking get on the train without seeing a Young Sheldon poster.

Why is that the only fucking thing that's everywhere? Take it down. I don't want to see it. I'm going to start defiling the posters. I'm going to start being one of those. Someone did actually defile the post, the Young Sheldon poster in my subway station quite hard. I am proud of that person. They drew Joker smiles on him like he had his face cut open.

And over Young Sheldon. over young someone scratched it out and just wrote kill I'm pretty creative I thought you were just going to say a dick was on it but that's much better They took some time They took some time on the young shelter Someone is very upset about young Shelton It wasn't me I swear

Well I think everyone's upset about young Sheldon But that guy was I really think Like there seems to be some sort of like underlying hatred of just pop culture in general that's really going along with this young Sheldon thing. Yeah. Like it's really like it feels like

this is what's going to start the revolution. This is what's going to break or break us. That's what I'm worried about. This is what it's going to break American society as young Sheldon. I think that what, you know, people talk a lot about what divides us and how there's two Americas

and I really think that one thing that divides us is people who love Big Bang Theory and people who don't. Yes. And I feel like it is, this is two Americas coming to a head. Listening to my mother discussed Big Bang theory to me.

She will explain entire episodes to me while I'm on the fuck and she's like and then he says Bazinga or what the fuck he says I don't care!

It's Bazinga. Banzanga? Bazinga. You get it right. Bazinga. I knew what's fucking Bissigna. That's really a catchphrase of that show is Bizzing? That is Sheldon's catchphrase.

And then you know what? I guarantee you. Then they're going to fucking say it and young Sheldon. You know it's going to be a lifelong fucking thing. And there's going to be a whole episode

dedicated to the origin of Banzanga. It's probably the pilot episode. Oh my God, I hate it so much. Oh, my God. I hate it so much. Yeah. Banzenga. I almost feel bad for that. I just love that I can say that.

It'd make you so angry. I hate it so much. And every time my motherfucking side, I just like, I bet Bazinga has its own Wikipedia page. I'm sure it does. All the times he's fucking said it. All the different scenarios, Bazinga has fucking gotten him into. I feel like the child doesn't deserve all of the weight that he is taking on.

You know, he's just an innocent child. He's about to bear the hatred of half a nation. The hatred of half of a nation. Hey, Jackie, listen. Don't. Don't. Don't. A, I rarely kid. And B, Bid, you will know it by my use of the word, Bazinga. Bazinga. Bazing.

I want to go to a golf nightclub. Really? Bazing. I ever see my practical jokes coming, do you? Oh, that's what Bizzinga. Bazinga. You have my fucking practical joke. I hate how they fucking talk on it.

I hate everything about this fucking show. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it. And I don't hate the people that love it. Whatever, that's fine. Everyone likes different things. I love party of five. You like fucking Big Bang Theory. That's fine.

We all have our differences. But I hate it. I hate it. So that, okay, so now I get the joke. The Bazinga is what he says when he's joking. Because he has no affectation to his voice. So that's that you get it. Oh.

You get it? Because he's a nerd. He's a nerd and he has no affectations. Have you ever seen the Big Bang Theory where someone takes up the laugh track? It's like Garfield about Garfield. It's very, it's really, let me see if I can find it. I don't know. Listen to it and still get the gist of it.

Yeah, I know their fucking voices. Because what I hate is that now Big Bang Theory's played the way home improvement and everybody loves. Raymond used to be played. Every hour. It's on every, every, you can always find it. You can watch it any time. And it's just like, bring back, I'd rather watch friends. I enjoy shitty sitcoms.

I'm not above things, but just this show. Yeah, there's something about the idea that it's just a sitcom about a nerd. I'm like, we did ones about nerds. That was what the whole 90s did. Did it. We've done it. Screech, yeah, Urkel. Yeah, nerds.

But it's a whole show of them, Mark Mali. Yeah. And Marcus. Listen to this. Ah, nothing makes beer taste better than cool, clear Rocky Mountains spring water. Where are the Rocky Mountains anyway? Philadelphia. Really, I thought they were out west someplace.

Think about it, Raj. Where did the movie Rocky take place? Philadelphia. This sounds like every basement of 14-year-old boys. Like anywhere. Like anywhere. From now on, we're just going to hide out in here to avoid the shimmy. I'm very comfortable here.

Penny dear, why don't you shoot another silver bullet my way? I want yourself. Somebody's been taking bitchy pill. So much. That was been taking bitchy pills. Yeah, you, yeah, you want to give me. That's my new catchphrase. Molly.

Somebody's been taking bitchy pills. Molly! Because you always got to say the Molly are there. That's Molly. All right, start for the list. Who's on the list? Mark has got to have that list. Celebrities who have pet pigs.

Okay. Turn it up. Pigies, Piggy's. Miley Cyrus has a piggy. Of course she does. That's a baby Sue. That's cute, I got like Bubba Sue.

I'm into it. Oh, Molly does not like it. I don't know. I don't know how I feel about it. I don't like the name Bubba. Here's a picture of her naked with her pig. Ew. Okay, I like the pig.

I like the pig. I like the pig's nails painted? Why does it look like she hasn't, she has shampoo in her hair, but she didn't wash it out? She's been rolling around in the mud. She's been dirty. Wow, she's super naked.

She probably has dirt on her. She has dirt on her. She's got fucking Bubba Sue's fucking come all over. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Megan Fox has... I like, I got a thing about like dirt.

Dirt. Yeah, like outside and like, you know, like covered in like dirt and mud. I got a thing. It's a thing. I mean, everybody's got their things. Yeah. I got a thing. It's all, it's all, it all goes back to a certain soft core pornography that I saw many years ago, right?

Right when I was burgeoning. It was like dirty island women. I don't know if I could fuck in front of a pick. Yeah. I don't know if I would like them looking at me. Depends on how much. I mean, they're also very smart. It's like I feel bad.

They are smart. Yeah. I don't need to fuck in front of you. Why'd you go in the other room? Fucking in front of a dog. Like fucking in front of a dog. Yeah. I have never fucked in front of an animal.

Well, no, never mind. Cats. I fuck in front of cats. Cats don't care. They don't care. They don't care. You forget real fast that the cat's in the room. But the dog.

You're going to know the dogs in the room. Yeah, like the Randy Quaid sex tape. Yeah. Oh, my God, all that barking. But I think the cats know what's up. I think they don't care, but I think they know. Yeah. Yeah, and that's fine.

Yeah. There's sexual creatures. Megan Fox has a pig named Peggy Smalls. That's also fine. I'm fine with it. I'm fine with her. That's fine. Paris Hilton has a pig.

Didn't she have a pig back? Because, like, it was the... Has it a simple life? Yeah, right? She probably just stole a pig. Princess Piglet. She probably stole that pig from the set. Oh, that's a cute pig, though.

That is a cute pig. Oh, he's got a little fat face. I'm sure she doesn't take care of the pig. No, someone else takes care of the pig. That's fine. So she's got a pig guy. I wonder if the pigs live in the house. I don't know, maybe.

If I was rich, I would love to have a pig. If you could, like, create the proper conditions for it. Because they're so cute. George Clooney had a pet pig for 18 years. Aw. This is a pig died. His name was Max. See, that's a pig name.

Whoa, that's a sick. sexy picture. Max is a great name for a pig. That's a much better name for a pig than all of the other ones. You don't got to give your pig a punny. Yeah, you don't have to do it. It doesn't have to be punny at all. Elizabeth Hurley had a pig.

She bred Gloucester old spot pigs in England. I mean, Elizabeth Hurley can do no wrong except for bedazzles in my eyes. Yeah. Yeah, that's true. David Beckham. Victoria Beckham got David two micro pigs. That is so cute. I want to see Zerpick.

There's a picture. Is it like a little piglet? Oh my God, they are cute. Damn, Victoria Beckham is gorgeous. Man, and also their kids are getting so hot. I'm allowed to say that because one of them's 18. All right, great. Yeah.

The pigs died soon after. Oh. Why? Why? Probably having to do with the breeding. Why? Their microwness, maybe. Did they not take care of them?

Why they die? Marcus? That's terrible. I'll let's fucking say. You don't need to. Let me see if I can get the backstory on the Beckham pigs. I'm very sad now. They were so small and so cute.

I got mini pig info.com. Celebrity pet pigs. Where are they now? Uh-oh. Wow. Where are they now? Pigs are the new cats. No.

I want to get a pigoon. You ever read Orcs and Crake? No. And then the piggoons, see what they do is they put all the stuffs inside of them and they make extra organs and they harvest the organs. out of the pig goons so they can use in case people need them. Human organs? Yeah.

Yeah. That's pretty much all the pigs we got. It's time for blind items. We can't see them. This former A-list movie actress who is an Academy Award winner slash nominee slash celebrity offspring. All right. So A-list movie actress.

She's A-list? Yeah. A-lis movie actress. I would say, actually, I would say A-minus list. Nine is listening, but celebrity offspring. A minus hovering on B plus. Celebrity offspring. Okay.

She's probably, yeah, drop to A minus B plus list now. Okay. She was told by her people, her latest project would get her another Oscar nomination or win for shaving her head. It will not. Drew Barrymore? No, but you're kind of, you're kind of closer. Kate Hudson. Yes.

Yes. I saw the picture of her. Yeah. She and her son both had their head. shaved and they're like solidarity kind of thing but it's for her to get paid a bunch of money yeah that's annoying it's not like you're going through chemo or anything it's like yeah you're getting paid a lot of money she's got a new movie called sisters oh it's gonna be oh it's got to be that then she's obviously like doing the whole like dying things it's gonna be like fucking

mother no no oceans beaches beaches no it's just called sister oh okay I'm sorry I was pointing in your face my It's not called oceans, though. It's with Sia. Oh, I love her. All right, I'll watch it. Done, done and done. I'm signed on.

I like Kate Hudson. Yeah, I like her too. Oh, well, Cia's directing it. What? Oh, good for her. Oh, go for her. I love Cia. Yeah, and her music videos,

if that are any indication, then it's going to be a good movie. I love her. Yeah. Yeah, her music videos are awesome. I love her. Next up, this former Flash in the Pan, A plus list,

movie actress who lives by name recognition alone at this point had to pay her own way to a possible yachting commitment. Now we haven't talked about yachting a whole lot here and yachting has been coming up in the blind items a lot over the last couple of months. Is it what I think it is? Getting on a yacht. It is more than just getting on a yacht. Whoa, what's yachting?

A yacht could have a lot to do with it but yachting is code for high class escort work. Really? Pretty much it's celebrity escort work. They call it yachting because a lot of times they need to go out into the ocean so there's no paparazzi around. So these guys will pay these like high, high, high list celebrities a lot of money to essentially be an escort. Essentially be a sex worker. Oh man, I would totally do that if I was a fucking celebrity. You kidding me.

I go fucking a yacht. Like a million bucks. Oh my God. Oh yeah. A million bucks. I go fucking a yacht for a weekend. Are you kidding me? For sure.

Definitely. And this one's Sharon Stone. had to pay her own way to get on the yachting expedition. Because usually it's all expenses paid. But this time, it seems like she had to pay her own way. Why? Everyone wants to fuck Sharon Stone. Yeah.

Right? I wouldn't pay. Really? Even after seeing Basic Instinct? Yeah, but that was 30 years ago. Yeah, it was a long time ago. Well, not 30. 25 years ago.

Yeah, it was a long time ago. Yeah. I would not pay to have sex with Sharon Stone. But I was like a multi, multi-millionaire. There's other ways. There's other people. Yeah, but I bet she would just fuck you though. Yeah, she might.

Like if she wanted to. Because I mean, but you, I mean, you imagine how good she is at it. She's probably very good at it. I bet she's pretty good. I mean, it's not like you lose that. You don't lose your technique just because your body ain't as tight anymore. Mm-hmm. Yeah, no, I wouldn't pay a million dollars, but I'd bang her.

I'd go for Demi Moore over Sharon Stone. If we're talking that era. Really? If we're talking that era, yeah, I'd go for Demi Moore over Sharon Stone. Even with the dead eyes, she'd probably just lay there. Sharon Stone would probably be really into it. I don't know because I think Demi Moore might snap awake. You think so? You think you could snap her awake?

I don't think I could snap her away. I think she just turns off when she doesn't need to be, you know, on. Like a robot, yeah. And then when she needs to be on, she turns back on again. She saves her power, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's cool, though. That would be cool.

I would like to do that. Can I start doing that? I could maybe go for Pamela Anderson as well. Just as an old school. For old time's sake, like really drive home that like, yeah, you're, you know, all those women when you were a teenager, you can pay for it now, but you can sell get them. Hell yeah. But that's, you know. You'd probably have to pay Pam Anderson, though.

I would say so, yeah. I don't think Pam Anderson does it for free anymore. No, no, no, no. I see her on plenty of yachting trips. Oh, yeah? In the blind items. She likes to go yachting. Good way to make money, though.

I want to go yachting. When can I go yachting? Maybe one day. All right, one day. Monday. Mark my words. And then you can come back and talk about it on page seven. I definitely will.

I'm going to tell all about it, but I'm also going to take a bunch of pictures, which is against the yachting. But you know, what are you going to do? Oh, yeah. Well, sometimes actually, they do take pictures during the yachting. But they're like, you know, we're out, you know, having a family day. But really, they're yachting. Damn, man. Now I got to go down a weird yachting hole.

Yeah, I'm definitely going to look up yodding. Check out. Yotting. Look, see what you can find. Yomai uncover some things out there that are a little disturbing. It's a fun euphemism, though. I really like it. I like yachting a lot because it's with, because it's going out with like super, super rich dudes.

Uh-huh. So yachting. That's fucking awesome. That's fucking awesome. And lastly, it is really easy to lose a whole bunch of baby weight and have the tabloids congratulate you when you were never actually pregnant in the first place. Is it that right permanent A-L? Lister. Whoa.

She's a permanent alister, but her brother, another, they're both musicians. The brother is more famous than she is. Musicians. Brothers, really. Singers, dancers. Not the Osmans. No. Oh, my God, it's the Osmond's.

They are back and they are hot. I'm just trying to think of, I feel like we know all the famous brother's sisters. The Osmond's, the Q's X, the Jillen Halls. I know. I immediately thought the Jillen Halls, but it's not them. It's like a forgotten brother, sister, singer, dancer duo, even though they're both extremely famous. You don't really think about them. In fact, they're from a whole family of entertainers.

Still not the Osmans? Still not the Osmond's. And they all have the same last name, too. The whole family, wait, don't tell us. Two of them are super famous. One of them is kind of sort of famous, and the other two are pretty much jokes. There's a hint for you. Count how many people I just named.

Five. Party of five. There's... The Jackson. Yes. God damn it, I was about to say, there are five of them. Oh, yeah, Janet Jackson, yeah, because she was 49 years old.

Of course, of course you probably... I mean, it's like, also, who's looking at fucking Janet Jackson right now? It's not like she's under the scrutiny that other people are at. Mm-hmm. Oh, man, of course. Mm-hmm. Man. So what was she doing?

I forgot the original blind end up. Surrogate. Surrogate. Surrogate. Did we talk about how Kim and Kanye are having a surrogate? I think we mentioned it. Oh, okay. I think we gave out a gufaha.

Yeah, it's a guffah. Are they officially doing a surrogate? Yeah. Maybe number three. Interesting. Just break up. Not good. Stop doing it.

It's not good for what. Kanye, I've been hearing some real disturbing things in the blind eyes by an possible suicide attempt about six weeks ago. I mean, he is having problems. He's having a lot of problems. Yeah, I feel like he's been having problems. Yeah, he needs help. The good for us for surrogacy.

The good for ha is not for them staying together. No, that's bad. But. She's a vapid human being. Yeah. She's not a good person. You know what I bet she does, though, every morning? Take her bitchy pills.

That's all we got. That's all we got time for on Newsweek's page seven. I stole it. I'm my bitchy pills. I'm Kim Kay. Goodbye, everybody. Bye