Page 7 - Episode 216: For Lips You Don't Like

Episode Date: September 29, 2017

Jackie, Molly and Marcus learn about the sad end of Fixer Upper, discuss famous people who gave kids up for adoption, and weigh the pros and cons of supper clubs. Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Oh, whoa has become us this day. Welcome to page seven. That's starting with whoa. Whoa. It is, we are all in mourning here at page seven, including you, Marcus. I'm including you in this. Okay. Or you see.

I have news about young children. That's not what I was talking about. Not that? That's not. I thought that's what we were lowing. Fixer Uppers! Go! Over, yes, of course.

I guess I should have... Both are American tragedy. Both are sad. There's a lot of sad things today. Yes, fixer upper, how could I... I've completely compartmentalized it. What happened with me was that I saw Chip and Joanna Gaines are ending,

and I panicked. And then when I saw... I thought they were getting a divorce. Yes, when I saw it was the show and not their marriage. I was so relieved that I was like, oh, and the show, just don't get divorced. And so...

So now I'm kind of, that's where I'm at in terms of the fixer upper process. If they get divorced, I would just never try to get into a relationship ever again. I'm like, why? If they don't work, I'll, no one wants me. If they can't love each other, no one definitely no one wants to be with me. They just seem so happy together, which is why I was so scared. And, you know, them ending the show, I am sad, but I also, sometimes you got to like, you don't, I mean, it's not even like it would be a show. It was not like, I don't know,

Seinfeld or something where it should have ended a few seasons sooner because it's a reality show. Because it's the best. And because I just eat it. I eat it like fucking popcorn at the movie theater. That's true. I'm a little bit sad because already when I watch Fixer Upper, I've already gotten to the point where I've seen some before

and I'll still watch them. Oh, yeah, I still watch them. I'm like, oh, it's that one with the family with the Africa and then they do the thing with the kids. Oh, yeah. That one where they make that little. track into a whole big place and they find out they're having twins.

I've seen that one like four times. Oh, I like that one. Yeah, it's a good one. But, you know, I've already started to repeat and so if they end it, I'm fucked. I'm just gonna, you know, it's gonna be like full house where I've seen every episode like 200 times.

Yeah, and I'll just keep going. Yeah. And I'm just, but I wonder, but then they're gonna stop all the marathons of it. No. Will they? I don't know. I don't think they will.

I think, you know, because, you know, the TV shows always do marathons. of very successful shows. Why are they ending it? Is it their choice or is it HGTV's choice? I don't know. I think that, but I mean, they got a lot on their plate. They get the magazine.

They write in the books. They got the new target line. They got the target line. They got the whole, they got the, you know, all just Magnolian fucking general. And they got all those kids. You know, it's like they got to have a little time, I guess. Yeah, I assume they're expanding, I guess, you know,

into their empire, like with the target and et cetera. Well, there was a fan on Twitter who said that she was sick of hearing stories about how he and his wife were breaking up and she tweeted it, Chip, and he tweeted back, Won't ever happen. You can take that to the bank. Hashtag love of my life. See, that's a man who knows how to use hashtag. Unlike Tariq Almousa from Flip or Flop, who does not know how to use hashtag.

That bastard. Chip Gaines knows how to use a fucking hashtag. I can't believe you remember his name. What's his name? Because I looked it up because I was so interested in his name, Tarik Almusa. I mean, that's a good solid name. It's a great name. I was like, for a bastard.

What's just like hashtag sun, hashtag smiling. Remember that dumb fucking Instagram post? What's the name of that show again? Flip or flop. Also, you know, I hate the name flip or flop. Yeah. Flipper flop. Shut up.

Shut up, you fucking bastards. And now there's a whole empire of them. Yeah, that Instagram post, I want to get a tattoo of that Instagram post. It was perfect. I love it. Yeah, but Tarak al-Musa, that guy can go fuck himself. Chip and Joanna Gaines. I just can't be mad at them.

Hashtag life is about having hashtag fun and enjoying every hashtag moment. How you use them? Yes. Yes. Yes, it is very sad about Fixer Upper. I guess I just got to watch more property brothers now. I mean, they're just, if they don't kiss, then what's the point? It's true.

And they don't have the soul that Joanna Gaines has. They have dead eyes. Yeah, that's true. And, you know, they're both former wannabes. be actors. Of course they are. Yeah, when I learned that, I was like, oh, one of them was in an X-File. Oh, oh. Yeah, look at their teeth. Their teethies say they wanted to be actors. Yeah. They're like failed actors who then became like real estate people and contractors and then became successful pretty boys. So basically what you're saying is that they are failures.

Failures who are laughing all the way to the bank. Man, all the way to, uh-oh, we got a new phrase. Take that to the bank. And smoke it. That's like. That's like. like the cutest thing. It's like such a dad phrase. Yeah. Take that to the bank. I don't think I've ever said that before. And you can take that to the bank, mister.

You, oh, you a Mr. bad guy, going to the bank. And I think the fucking property brothers are Canadian, and they're also like locationless, whereas Chip and Joanna are just so, they've made me, like, that and Friday night lights single-handedly responsible for my love of tech. Cone of Texas, baby. Marcus, too. Also, you. Get your guns up.

Texas a good name. Three and a good name. I'm very proud of your butt ball team. You're in your football. Thank you for your support of my football team. I appreciate it as to all Red Raiders. But also fucking Young Sheldon. Yes.

So the other bad news about the world, young Sheldon, you want to say it? No, no, no, no, no, no. You do this one. You sure him? He's Ziggy from Big Little. lies. I know. I know it. That's why I hated that fucking face. Yeah, I was staring at that. See, but that, well, okay. Did you figure it out yourself? I was staring at him at the Emmys being like, how do I know that fucking kid? And then I was like, I was sitting there in silence thinking really

hard and I was like, I just got to do IMDB. Fuck it. And then I just looked up young Sheldon, IMD. And then when I saw his face without the stupid Sheldon hair, I immediately realized it was Ziggy. So I kind of looked it up, but I kind of also got there myself. 17 million people watched the pilot episode of Young Shelton. I know why. I'm going to ask each one of them. Why? The real question is why then, yeah, I feel like when I hear that.

Why do I do what I do? Why do we do what we do? Why I try to write or be creative or do anything? I don't know. I don't know. There's no fucking point. There's no fucking point. But the thing is that turns out I'm actually happy

because apparently the. the hatred of young Sheldon and all the posters are, it's rampant. Yeah. It is, it's not, it's not just. People are upset here in New York City. I think it's, yeah. It's like a coastal thing.

I think it's to some extent. I don't think it's just a coastal thing, but I think New York City is like, fuck that show. It's crazy though, everybody. I was like walking the train platform, and everyone was like, this guy just went, fuck that show.

Just at the poster. It was like, hell, yeah. Yes. Aloud. Even better. I love New York City Outbrace Actually I have absolutely done that I think I went out loud

To something totally different I was walking down the street And saw this poster for something totally different For reasons of my own I just went Oh god damn it It's like a couple of people Were walking the other direction

They just kind of looked at me And like I said last week Young Sheldon is like What divides this nation But I also I feel like You know sometimes like when people talk about The State of the World You know people, conservatives will be like

oh, New York, where all those liberals live. And I feel like it's a super oversimplification because awesome people live in the middle of the country and it's not like all the awesome people are concentrated in New York. But I feel like New York, one thing I love about New York is it's full of people who fucking hate young Sheldon. And I know they're everywhere and across this great nation.

They really are. But I love that they are here. And it is something that we can all be very proud of our city for. The posters are just everywhere. I just can't. I really can't. I just can't even contain how angry I am. So, Jackie, have a question for you.

In Big Little Lives, did you think that I know how you hate children on TV, not all children, but did you think that those kids were annoying? Because I feel like Big Little Lives, you know. I didn't like Ziggy, though. I kind of wanted him to get hit. I was like, maybe you should hit him and then he'll actually answer you. You know, it's like open up your mouth and say something. So you didn't like Ziggy?

No, I didn't like Ziggy. In fact, I think I liked Nicole Kidman's children more. Interesting. Interesting. All right. So I just wanted to make sure that your hatred of children on television was... Usually it's just about singing, but I also hate the fact that they are forced into fame or thinking that they would like to be famous. Yeah. Because they're children, and they don't have a full identity yet.

Well, I mean, really, people on Twitter really love young Sheldon. Oh, yeah? One Twitter says, his love and sweet. for mom is too cute. I can't deal with that cute face. Hashtag John Shelton. Oh, God. What is it?

It's like, what is it? What is it about? It's just, it's just that. It's just that kid. It's just young. He's just him young. It's just, and even that, like, it's just, like,

he's just like, oh, he is nerdy. Again, haven't we done this before? And then it's like, oh, like, I saw the commercial where it was like he puts he has like I don't know what in the show whether he's both what what kind of neuro atypical like like profile he has but like in the commercial he puts oven mitts on his hands when they say grace and they're all like young Sheldon and like I'm like what is are we making fun of grace as well so it's like good old fashioned family values right and I'm like are we making fun of the child because he's like afraid of German because I don't want to laugh at a child who feels

that way who has OCD or something I don't want to laugh at a Man, I bet they call dinner supper. Do you hate? Is that something we hate? Oh, I really hate supper. I hate supper so much. Really? Super really disgust me.

Supper sounds like, Jackie, is it time to sup? Would you like some supper? It is, it is 7 o'clock in the evening, meaning the time to sup is upon us. I don't know, the word, fucking disgust me. Yeah, I've never thought about it, but I don't think I like it either.

I think it was like only my grandparents that called it supper. Yeah. And I was just like, I don't want to fucking sup with you, you bitch. I never wanted to sup with them. And I don't want to sup with anybody else. I think that's what it is. Like dinner, you can't say like, I must din with him. You say dine.

I will dine. I will dine, and that dine is a very nice word. But sup, there's just something about the p. And it's the sup. I'm like watching my grandmother's disgusting old mouth. Shuppler. But how about the line in I think it's Great Muppet Kaper? There's like a reoccurring joke where they're like,

it's really more of a supper club than a restaurant, dude. But that, see, that's a good joke, though. I don't know why supper club. I'm okay with supper club. Yeah. I'm fun with it. Even though supper club seems like it should be disgusting, it's not. I like supper club.

Yeah, I kind of want to go to a supper club. Yeah. Oh, I've always wanted to go to a supper club. club because you get like steaks and dessert right and it's all really cheap yeah if you're from the Midwest you don't go to supper club there is one supper club that I've been to

but it's not like the supper club in great Muppetaper the supper club is like a fancy fancy ones yeah these are more like like law I want to like the lodge kind yeah no the supper club that I went to has like a fish fry and all that yeah yeah that's a good supper club but never sup never fucking sup

sup with your mother Sup with your mother. Sup with your brother. Speaking of mother. Oh my God. Did you see it? I saw mother and I fucking loved it. Yeah?

I loved it. Can you tell me what? I loved it. Why are people so upset about it? It's upsetting. Okay. I think I'm gonna, we're waiting for that one to come home. Oh, you haven't seen it yet?

No, I'm not going to go into the theater. Well, I got it massively spoiled for me. Oh, no. No, that's the worst. I got the whole thing. Who would do that? We did an ad read for Mother on last podcast. And it said in the copy, like,

make sure to not mention the twist ending, which is, boom. Oh, no. Well, they, they. Why would they do that? Yeah, why don't need to do that? Mm-hmm, yeah. Well, they did, they spoiled like half of it. Yeah.

And then I told I was talking a good old Travis Morningstar that works for us here. I was like, yeah, I had the ending ruin for us. for me. Or I was like I had the twist room for me. He's like, oh yeah, when blank blank, I'm like, Not that one. Not that one. Not that one. Wasn't that one.

Oh yeah, it is. It's a twisty, dervy, man. So I'm just like, I don't, yeah. See, I went into it knowing nothing and I, it blew my mind. So many people hate it. Yeah, that's it. People seem to be vehemently hating it. And I'm like, are they hating Jennifer Lawrence?

Are they hating the movie itself? Is it a combo? I don't know. I just, I loved it. And I can't even explain anything else. All I can say is please go watch it if you are looking for an experience. I've gotten some, I've gotten mixed reviews. I've heard some people like text me being like, it is God awful. It's laughably bad.

Do not go see it. Oh, I laughed through it. Oh, I laughed a lot through it. It was a lot of like, what? What? I was like, in the movie theater screaming. And, like, was just like, what is it?

I just, I don't know. I just fucking loved it. I loved it because it was just, man, he made it, he made it. He made this thing. And I was like, at first it was like, man, I would never see that again. And then, like, the more I talk about it and talk about it,

I'm like, dude, I'll fucking totally see that again. Just to, like, get more of it. Yeah. But it's a good discussion movie afterwards. It's nice. It's nice to go with your friends and discuss a movie. afterwards whether you loved it, whether you hate it.

I happened to go with like nine people that all fucking loved it. So we just like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, afterwards. Well, that's what the ad copy said. Oh, yeah. Don't miss the movie that everyone's going to be talking about. I mean, it is something to discuss. Everyone is talking about it. It is confirmed.

It is something to discuss. Be a part of the conversation with mother. It's crazy. I loved it. Yeah. My mom went to go see it. And afterwards, she was like, why did you? You told me to see this movie.

And then we got into a discussion about it, and then I eventually changed her opinion. About being a mother or about the movie? Just about the movie. Yeah, change her opinion. Now she's not my mother anymore. She has decided that she will not take ownership of me anymore. Wow, supper clubs are expensive.

Are they? I thought they were cheap. There's one supper club. It's either $1,500 per year or $10,000 for a life, membership. Ooh, see, that's a one-time deal. Yeah, but I also would totally invest in something like that.

Yeah. Does that mean you get to just go whenever you want, or you get to go and eat for free whenever you want? I think if you get the lifetime membership, then I think you just show up. See, that's awesome. How cool would you feel? I'd lay down $10,000 for that. Just to show up to a place and be able to just have them. And then you get up and you leave.

But you just got tip them. Nah. I tip them with my winks and with my ass grabs. And I'll bet. I would just go ham on the alcohol if I had to just do a one-time fee of $10,000. The rest of my life, I'd be like, I've got to pay for that $10,000. I've got to get the supper club tonight.

I've got to drink $20,000 worth of alcohol. I will ruin my life to get that $10,000 worth. It's worth it. I think that you're right, Jackie. I think that there is one type of supper club that's like real down-home. And then there's one type of supper club that's real fancy.

And I love the down-home supper club that I went to that's in my hometown. It's great. But in my head, I always just think of the one that Kermann and Piggy go to and Great Monkey Cape room. I think both would be equally. Actually, no, I'd rather go to the lodge one. Really? Yeah.

I want to slam a bunch of fucking meat in my craw. Yeah, yeah. And eat a baked potato with all the toppings. Definitely. Ooh, I want a baked potato. Has like a salad bar with some baked potato options. Man, I'm just getting hungry. I'm you getting hungry.

Don't you worry about me. I just getting hungry. I have an idea for a multimillion dollar industry in New York City. Please explain. That is a baked potato. It's like chopped, the salad place, not the show, or like just salad or all the places where you just go and get a bowl of spinach and then they put stuff on it and they charge you $15. This is like that, except you get a baked potato. Are you referring to McAllister's Deli, which I was the manager of in Tallahassee, Florida?

It was a baked potato bar? Honey, we took two. All right, I'm giving out a secret. I'm giving out the big secret. They only did huge baked potatoes and soup. And what the secret was is that you take two potatoes. You cut off the ends, like only one end of each, and then you cut it in half and you slam it together to make a monster potato.

And then it was all the time. It was like, it's like you could get like a like pastrami one like a bunch of sourcrow on it. Or you get a bunch of cheese and broccoli. Like all the, oh, and they had like all the different sauces. You get like wine and cheese sauce on top. Dude, it was trash. Yeah. But it was so good.

I went to a place like this in Edinburgh. It was like a baked potato bar and you could get like beans on it. You know, for a vegetarian, it was very exciting. Oh, yes. And so I was like, this needs to be exported and stolen to New York City. I slammed so much broccoli and cheese soup when I worked there. I think I was mostly made out of broccoli and cheese soup. And then I would pour the broccoli and cheese soup on top of.

the potato and I put some sour cream on top then I put extra onions and put the fucking man oh yeah starch and dairy yeah bitch ain't nothing good for you on that mate Marcus is face

it's just fucking Christ man just a pile you're just eating piles like a pig in a trom it's slop you ain't slop oh yeah and I was proud of it And that Tallahassee heat

Just sitting in the back to sweating 105 degrees, 100% humidity Oh, the humidity And so you're just hot cream Hot slump Two different kinds of cream Oh yeah baby In Edinburgh it made sense

Because it was like Ooh a crisp fall baked potato And in Tallahassee Florida a double baked potato On a hot day to do not just one potato Two potatoes And I would eat the whole thing Driesled with broccoli and cheese soup

And sour cream on top of that Yeah, hell yeah Wow Sometimes I put some fresh broccoli in there though Good, just to get the fiber going You really balanced it out there You know, I'm pretty, yeah I know how to make a balanced meal

I'm pretty good at it Oh man, nah I want it right now Maybe we should open a baked potato bar Okay, I'll do it We, oh, man, on all the top, the fixings, like from Eastbound and Down. Wasn't that a spud place, too? Fixins.

Fixens? I didn't see it. Oh, you didn't even watch Eastbound down? Never saw it, yeah. Oh, that's a good one. I just started rewatch, also Vice Principals just started again. It's really funny. I told you guys that I'm watching The Sopranos, right?

Oh, yeah, so you're sucked into that for a long time. Yeah, that's like my project. It's going to take a while, but, you know, it's like. James Gittelfini, R-I-P. I want to talk about the Sopranos, and, of course, everyone's already No one wants to talk about it. No one wants to talk about it. But it is just, it's a breathtaking show.

It is a good show. You know, I understand why everyone loved it for so many years. Have you never seen it? I hadn't, no. Oh, that's fun. Yeah. I don't know why, but I can't get into mob stuff. Really?

For some reason, mob stuff does not interest me in any way whatsoever. Interesting, like how I am with vampires. Yeah. That's how I feel about. And I love vampires. That's how I feel about mob movies. Like, I've never been super, super psyched about, like I've seen, you know, Godfather movies.

and stuff, but I've never been like, yeah, but I feel like, so I wasn't super psyched to watch the Sopranos, but now I'm happy to be watching it, but now all my co-workers is talking about narcos, and now I kind of want to be watching narcos. Yeah, but you can't do both. You can't go backs to backs, man. Yeah, because I think it would make me very sad also. You can't. You can't do backs to backs.

Yeah, unless it's something funny. Organized crime. Like Insecure, which you should watch. I know. Anyway. Everyone is thrilled about insecure. It's working great. It's got great.

Six each Almost too good I mean it's kind of like watching porn It basically is watching porn Yeah HBO will go there Oh it goes there Just like Debrosey It goes there

Don't worry It goes there Yeah J-law I'm watching the I watched the thing on Robert Kardashian last night There's a Netflix There's like a Netflix

like 45 minute long special. Gaga! I'm sorry. Sorry, that made me think of something else. I did a big, sorry, Marcus, I did a theatrical finger. Yeah, it's like, did you guys watch it too? No. No, no, no.

But I watched last night, I knew there was something else I wanted to talk about in the show. I watched Law and Order True Crime, the Menendez Brothers. How is it? I loved it. It was great. Edie Falco. Edie Falco. They got two dofy-looking guys to be the Menendez brothers.

Maybe they're famous actors, I don't know, but they're, I looked appropriately doofy. And it's great. It's true crime and law and order mashed into one. It's like two great tastes that taste great together. It's a movie or is a television show? It's a television show. So yesterday was episode one.

And it's like there's nothing law and ordery about it except that I guess the formula is kind of law and orderly. It does do the dun dun dun. It has like the text at the bottom. They don't have like, they didn't have a like do do do do do do which I was hoping there would be. And you know, that's 10% of why you watch a show. Right, and it's not like, you know, Olivia Benson is there or anything. I kind of wish she was. Yeah.

But it's like a true crime in the extremely formulaic style of law and order, which is perfect for me. Wait, what is important about Robert Kardashian that there is a fucking documentary on it? Good question. The bag. The bag? The bag. See, when O.J got back from the airport when he was in Chicago, because, you know, he was in... Oh, you're talking about the father.

I'm talking about... Yeah. No, wait. I thought he meant Rob Gordash. No, Robert Cardage. Who gives a fuck about him? Who would, why would you watch that? I was very confused.

The father, the father, the elder Robert. David Schwimmer. Yes, David Schwimmer, yes. No, about the bag, the garment bag that he took. Gotcha. Was it cool? It's okay. It's fine.

What's the theory? It's not a theory. It's an actual fact that was caught on. camera. When OJ was coming back from the airport when he was coming back from Chicago, you know, when they put the handcuffs on him in the backyard, his secretary was with him in the car.

OJ. brought in a black shoulder bag with him into the house, but the secretary held on to the garment bag and gave it to Robert Kardashian. And Robert Kardashian left with it. And the bag was never seen again. And it's all on video, like showing pretty much the bag transferring from

her over to him and him like trying to sneak away with it which he did and the bag is full of evidence it's full of something and it's got you know a tag on it from American Airlines like it's obviously the bag that OJ

took to Chicago with him but nobody knows what happened to the bag they supposedly brought it out at trial but it was a different bag it was a brand new back it was a Louis Vuitton bag so the whole thing is that Robert Kardashian got rid of evidence.

And it was also kind of about like the Kardashians a little bit. Yeah. But mostly about Robert Kardashian. And how they're fucking knocked up like little rabbits? Oh yeah, we didn't even talk about that. They're all fucking knocked up. Yeah, man.

Chloe's knocked up. Kylie's knocked up. Fucking Kim Kardashian's got the surrogate. Hey, it's 10 years, man. 10 year anniversary. Keeping up with the Kardashians. No. They're fertile people.

10 years, huh? 10 years. Yeah, I think that, yeah, that show first came around in 2007. That's fucking crazy, man. I still can't get into, I never really got into it. No, it's boring. It really is. I can't watch rich people do stuff.

And also, they talk so slowly. They do, they're always tired. Yeah, just talk, just stay something. They're always laying around sounding tired. It just makes me tired to watch it. And now, man, they're all knocked up. Damn. It's Kylie who's knocked up, right?

Kylie and Kendall, I have a hard time distinguishing. I mean, does it matter? They both don't look like they used to look. like so it's fine. I'm surprised though that she wants to like do that to her body this young. Yeah.

I mean, I know they can snip, snap that right back but not the old pattywack. You can wickwack the paddywack. You can make it. You can make it. You can fasten it.

Yeah. You absolutely. Oh yeah. Vigiant vaginal cosmetic surgery, vaginal contour surgery. I thought that was just for like lips. No,

I think it's the whole kitten caboodle. Really? Yeah. They get up there and they just go, I've got it closed Oh yeah Once that part hurts That part hurts

Well I think that it That I mean I've never had sex with a woman Who either who has had a kid or who hasn't But I've heard that it's a bit It's a bit over-exaggerated how Floppy Yeah I think it snaps right back You know

It doesn't snap right back I mean that's what I've heard I don't know Interesting I think it's about a 50-50 type thing I have never also never had sex with a woman who has had a child So I could not say so we do not know we have no research here But that's okay somebody's have had to have had sex with a woman who had a child

Yes I mean I'm assuming someone so let me call my dad Let me call him up Ask your dad what he thinks about this conversation I think I think they're gonna say it's just as tight I'm sure it is maybe it is She's just so young You can go for it's called vaginal rejuvenation surgery.

Cool. Vaginal rejuvenation surgery combines labiaplasty and vaginoplasti for a cosmetically enhanced and tightened vagina in one surgical visit. What if they screw that up, though?

Like that's a rough one to screw up. It's like Angelica Houston's face. You remember that? No, although at the same time, at least if you screw up a face, everybody sees, you know, there could be famous people walking around out there who have really fucked up vagus. What if their lips are like coming out of the

Bottom of their shorts. Their vaginas look like Meg Ryan's face, but we just don't know. We just don't know. We really don't know. Yeah, labiaplasty is on the outside. That's to get, you know, like if you got the lips that you don't like. And then vaginoplasti is on the inside. If your muscles aren't quite as.

That's a good tagline for the labioplasty. For lips you don't like. For when you got lips and you don't like them. You don't like your lips. You look at your lips. You're thinking, my God. Look at these lips. Come to Manhattan vaginoplasti.

We'll take care of your lips. You don't like your lips. Get your lips. Manhattan, vaginalplasty. Don't go to Manhattan vaginalplasty. It's actually the Manhattan Center for Vaginal Surgery. Oh, yeah. That's the...

Manhattan Vaginitoplast. I just wouldn't trust it. I don't know why. Yeah. Greenpoint vaginoplasty. Yeah, I feel like you've got to go to Westchester or vaginalplasty or something, you know. Connecticut. At least an upper west side.

Yeah. All right, it's time for the love. Famous people who have given up kids for adoption. Giving up kids for adoption. Giving up kids for adoption that were not adopted themselves, but who gave up their own. Interesting. Einstein.

Yeah. Placed his daughter up for adoption. I bet that's for the best. He didn't have any other kids, right? Yeah. Hans and Edward. I really want to watch that. National Geographic Einstein show.

I heard it's really good. I'm with Jeffrey Rush. Yeah, I heard that's pretty good too. I watched a cool thing. I watched that manhunt show, the Ted Kaczynski show. Ooh, I would watch that. You'd love it. It's great.

It's on Netflix now. Oh, it's on Netflix? Yeah, it's fucking, yeah, it's awesome. I'm going to do Menendez and the Unabomber. It's going to be great. They definitely make Kaczynski like a little too sexy. Is this the one that Riggins plays in, though? No.

No, no, no. This is the guy that's married to Jennifer Connolly that plays Ted Kaczynski. Okay. But yeah, it's, because you know, you know what Ted Kaczynski looks like. He's like a big, dumpy, weird-muppet-looking guy. And when they first show Ted Kaczynski in the miniseries, he's a super cut dude taking a shower and a waterfall while a bear stares at him.

It's not very true to life. But isn't Riggins playing him soon? Riggins is playing some type of murderer. Well, I also know someone tagged me in a tweet that he's playing. this sexy, like, in this action movie as a sexy fireman? Yes, I saw that too. I'll take it.

He fucking revved for it. But didn't we figure out that he's a bad actor? Or did we not? We know he's a bad actor. He just can play Rickens because he's Rickens. Oh, he's playing David Koresh. Oh, gotcha. I saw that he was in something that was,

someone posted it on the page 7 Facebook. In a TV movie. Now, we figured out during True Detective Season 2 that he was a bad actor. That's right. But Hanson. him with his short hair. I know we differ on this.

I know, but I like, you know, I'll take my hang. I totally forgot he was in season two as True Detective. That's how forgettable that was. I forgot everything about it. Oh, yeah. I never even got into it. I just didn't even want to.

It was so bad. It was so, it was maddeningly bad. And wait, isn't there a season three of True Detective coming out? I believe so. I want to say Marishala Ali. Yes. Yes.

I'm pretty sure it's Marishala. I think it's him. Yes, please. Another funny. I don't want to eat them like a turkey leg at fucking Disney. I didn't realize how much I wanted to kiss Mahershal Ali in House of Cards. I think it wasn't until moonlight. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. He was Rami Danton in House of Cards. And now I'm okay. For the longest time, I knew I'd seen that guy in something. Yeah, and then he had like a big year last year. He had been in House of Cards and then he was like in everything. Mm-hmm.

I love. Have you seen the ads yet for Idrasil? and Kate Winblitz movie? No, I haven't. Oh, fuck, I forgot to look that out. No. Well, I don't watch it. You guys have your normal television.

Right. Yeah, I don't have normal television. Well, you got the rabid ears. I do have the rabid ears. Yeah, but I always just used it to watch shit like, you know, like the 1992 version of Journey to the Center of the Earth, which is super fun. Is it? It's pretty fun.

Is it? It's fun enough. It's fun enough. It's fun enough. It's fun enough. It's fun enough. It's three o'clock. I'm time to watch Maverick and have lunch.

The, uh, Gaga. Fucking 5'2. Have you seen it yet? The Gaga documentary on Netflix? No. It's fun. It's fun. I liked it a lot.

I like her. I like her. Made me like her even more. She's just fucking smoking blunts the entire fucking time. All she doesn't smoke blunts. You guys know how I feel about the Katie Perry documentary, so I'll probably like the Lady Gaga. I'm sure you will. I'm sorry.

Continue. Of course. Roseanne Barr. Ah. I didn't know that could get knocked up. She was... Wow! Woo!

Woo! Woo! Is that really of our sex? No. She was 17 when she gave up her daughter, Brandy Brown, for adoption in 1970. They later,

you reunited, and Brown worked as a production assistant on Roseanne. That would be a trip to find out that your birth mother was Roseanne Barr. Mm-hmm. Yeah. During the biggest time of Roseanne's popularity. Yeah.

That would be. That would be like finding out if like Young Sheldon was your father. Oh, do I just want to punch him in the face? I've been searching for my birth father and I found him. It's Young Sheldon. Buzinger! Funny thing I've ever fucking hurt. Clark Gable.

Oh. You had a daughter. I mean, he didn't have the daughter, but. So he knocked somebody up and made her get rid of it basically. Absolutely. He was having an affair with a woman in 1935 and they just hit her away until the baby was born and they put her in an orphanage. As they should put her in. Wow.

Jesus. But she ended up going back and adopting the baby 19 months later. Cool. That's a good for her. But. 19 months later they put her back in. They just wanted her to suffer just a little bit more. So just to really just rip her away from the mother, really just give her a little bit,

and then rip her away again to make sure she's permanently broken. Even though the girl looked just like Clark Gable, poor thing. He never acknowledged that he was her father. Yikes. Man, that makes me mad at Clark Gable. Yeah, he wasn't. Of course he wasn't a good dude. He was a bad guy.

Yeah, he was married five times. Which, you know, happens. Sometimes. If you're a man. Yeah. Wow. In 1961, his fifth wife gave birth to his only son four months after the actor's death. Whoa.

Man, he was really pumping it till the end, huh? He was really pumping through. Good for him. Yeah, that must have been, imagine him just climbing on top. Man, just sleeping with someone when they're four months from their death of old age. He was 61 when he died. He was pretty young. Take it back.

Yeah, I thought it was older than that. But 61 in 1960. He's still pumping it. Yeah, still pumping and dumping. Actually, no, I took that back, 59. Okay. So, yeah, he really wasn't. Well, I didn't know he died that young.

What happened, Clark Abel? I mean, I'm going to guess alcoholism. I'm going to throw that out there. Molly, what's your guess? I think that he just lived too hard. Probably somewhere in between, hard attack. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. that'll do it

that'll get you that'll happen I just can't stop saying it nope Joni Mitchell in her early 20s gave birth to a daughter Kelly Dale she gave her up for adoption

you know I'm surprised that all these people had the children yeah that they didn't just yeah get them out of that yeah man get up in there yeah

yeah Chop, chop, chop, chop. Oh, yeah, oh, yeah, that's when it's done. Just launch it right now. They met for the first time in 2001. Cool. Mm-hmm. I mean, I don't know if I trust it, though, right?

Be like, are you really? Well, you do a DNA test. Yeah, but isn't that like, or do you have to do that? I guess you have to do that. You don't have to, but if you want to get rid of them. Yeah. Yeah. Interesting.

How do you find them? That's got to be expensive, right? There's paperwork. Crack them down, I think. Yeah, I think you can do it. I think you just go through the orphanage or orphan adoption agency. It just makes me think of the third season of Bojack, which everyone should watch. Because Aparna's in it, and it's like, it might be Bojack's daughter.

Really? Yeah. Nice. This one's not a surprise. David Crosby. Oof. For some reason, I experience it very differently when the man gives up the child for adoption. Yeah, because I feel like he's just.

like you're going to give that up right you're probably a woman can choose to give up a child for adoption for sure for sure but a man it's just like a woman having a child and then giving it up for adoption versus a man being like give that I'm give it away it just happens to be the father that doesn't mean just because he's a man doesn't mean he forced her to give it up for adoption that's totally true I just have an instinctual reaction that makes me unfairly feel a little bit like something may have gone wrong there like we have a

one and one out of two ain't bad Clark Gable definitely did do that. Yes, he definitely did do that. I mean, sitters will fucking orphanage. Yeah. Come on, man. At least find her a home or something. He had the money pay somebody off.

Be like, here's fucking $10,000. Take this kid. Then you're creating a paper trail. Yeah, I guess that's true. David Crosby, it may have been a very contential decision between him and the woman. Yeah, he had a... And he's very peaceful.

It was 1962. Yeah. You know, he had a baby with the child. They put him up for adoption. And then later, Crosby and the Sun reunited and performed together on stage and in studio. Aw. Man, really utilizing that, huh? He's got three other kids, Erica, Donovan, and Django.

God, they must all be so hideous. Did you know he's also the biological father of Melissa Etheridge's two children? What? Is he the sperm donor? He's the sperm donor. I wonder why she chose him. Why not? He's not attractive.

Yeah, but she's not looking to make kids she's going to fuck. I mean, I want my children to be attractive. But more than you want them to be as good a musicians as David Crosby? Yeah. Face gets you everywhere. And we all know it. Wait, though, but let's think of somebody who's really talented and really ugly. And if you could have their children.

Like, it's hard because everyone's very attractive. Everyone's very attractive. Everyone's very attractive. Yeah, like, I was about to be like, Bob Dylan, Bob Dylan was gorgeous. Yeah. I was trying to, I almost said Michael Shannon, but I think he's sexy. Oh, he's super sexy.

But he's like, he's still ugly sexy. He's a weird looking dude. He's a weird looking dude. Bang it, bang it, bang it. And have his children. Yeah. I mean, we would make fantastic children. They'd be fucking crazy.

Yeah, it'd be the worst. Yeah, it would be a lot of screaming. Oh, there would be a lot of screaming in the house. Patty Smith put a newborn daughter up for adoption, 67. Wasn't that like a big story? Like wasn't there, oh no, I'm thinking of, what's her name? Janice Joplin. But I think that she just had an abortion.

But I think, I forgot who knocked her up, that it was this huge thing. And she was like, I'm going to go get an abortion anyway. Well, you know, going back to our, why didn't they just booy-o-o-yo-yo-you-a. Yeah. It wasn't until 1974. They were able to, yeah. Well, I mean, you know, you could get it out of there.

Sure. But. This is 1967 when that. Patty Smith. She was 21 in 1967. Wow. She looks good. We went and saw her live like two weeks ago. And was she amazing? Her voice was fantastic.

Everyone at the concert, it was a little weird. It's just really weird when older liberals try to have fun. It's just kind of uncomfortable. They don't really know how to do it. They're trying to. But it's before the show and they're all on their phones looking at the news and tutting about Donald Trump. And it's just relax.

a beer, people. We don't have to just constantly talk about it. Yeah. That or how many times they hold up their iPads? There was this fucking... God damn! I'm trying to watch Patty Smith. I'm trying to enjoy the music.

And they're just like, oh my God, they're going to love this back home. And just hold up this huge fucking tablet. And I couldn't see. And I couldn't see. Yeah, holding up the tablet is wrong. A phone is one thing, but a whole... Like, come on.

Yeah. It's too much. Tablet, too much. Actually, I would say phone, no more than 10 seconds. It should be in and out. You shouldn't be recording for a very long time. Yeah. No, yeah, there were people that were holding up phones for entire songs.

But also, it's like, enjoy it. Enjoy the moment. Hey, man, enjoy it. Yeah, whenever my kids are performing, like, I hate being charged, if I'm, like, the one that's charged with documenting it, I hate it because I'm just focusing on the camera, and I feel like I don't actually experience the thing. I'd way rather not record it and just have the temper.

Enjoy the memory. Nothing lasts. You know, everything is impermanent. Oh, God. Oh, my God. You're feeling it Patty Smith's never going to, you cannot make it last on your tablet, and then you can just remove yourself further

by putting a device between you and her beauty. Yeah, you're right. Yeah. She was fine. But especially for her age. She still sounds just as good as she did on, like she's saying pissing in a river, and she sounded just as good.

But was she, like, moving around a lot? Fair amount. Cool. Actually, she was pretty spry. Yeah. Very spry. For a white gal. Everyone says I'm pretty spry.

For a white gal. For an elder white gal. No one would ever say that about me. And Lenny K was there too. Her old guitarist from way that still plays with them to this day. Lenny Gravitz? No, Lee. K-A-Y-E.

K-A-Y-E, Lenny K. Zuponk. The punk legend, God damn it. Lini Kravitz. Linney Cravitz. If Linney Cravets would have played I wouldn't mention it by now.

I would have told you I would say I saw Patty Smith with Lenny Kravitz last week. The go-to guitar player for Patty Smith. You guys didn't know

that Patty Smith fucking plays with Lenny Kravitz? Fuck, Jackie. Fuck. Fuck. He's just over there playing American woman.

Yeah. I want to get it. It's like, no. No. You're just playing the guitar. Just keep playing the guitar. Rod Stewart. Oh.

And the musician, 1963, had a daughter with his girlfriend, Susanna Balfey. Fuck yeah, man. I would have tapped it back then. When faces, he was hot. Definitely. Married three times, six kids. Whoa, six, fertile.

Kimberly, Sean, Ruby, Renee, Liam Alastair, and Aiden. Ooh, I like name Aden. Aden's like one of the most, it's like the number one most popular name. Is it really? Yeah. Aiden, you know, Caroline's

Kid Soccer coach? Yeah. Like six Aidan's a week. Really? Yeah. I only ever think of Aiden Gwynn. It's Aiden's the number one for the guy, and Olivia is the little girl.

Yeah, every child is named Olivia. It's a beautiful name. It is very common right now. Yeah, it's the most popular name in America right now. I always think of Aiden from Sex in the City, and obviously Olivia Benson. Obviously, people having kids watched a lot of television. Yeah, oh yeah, television-based.

That's probably people who named their daughter Olivia Probably didn't name her after Olivia Benson But I like to think that they all did But maybe Olivia Wilde That's also good Plausible Linda Lovelace Oh yeah

Popped it out though Yeah it still popped it out Wow that that is shocking to me That the porn star took it to term Yeah Yeah I mean honestly yeah Because she can't work for nine months

Or maybe she makes fetish videos But Rod Stewart was also pre-ropeer A lot of pre-row dates going on in here. Yeah, that's true. You know, so. Oh, I guess, yeah, again, I forget. That sucks. I mean, it really gives us some perspective.

Rome is Ro? 1974, I believe. Very happy. I think Lovellase might have been bright straddling that line there. I'm very happy that I can. She was 20. Actually, that was in 1969. So, yeah, she was pepping it.

Ew. You know, Andy Kaufman had one. Yikes. In high school. Yikes. Yeah. High school. Wow.

That's rough. Yeah. I wonder if that was a formative experience for him. Yeah. With the kid's name was Maria Ballou Colona. Blue, like the bear? Like the bear, like the bear, like Jungle Bear. Like Blue.

Ballou. Maybe it's Baloo. Baloo. Baloo. Oh, yes. Balo. Balo. You welcome to my classroom.

Dog the bounty hunter. Oh, hell yeah, man. I have friends that are going as them for Halloween, and they're perfect for it, and I'm so sad that I'm going to miss it, because it's going to be so good. Their hair is so big. You imagine how much product that child would have had to deal with. It's a good thing that the dog didn't raise him. Yes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, it's time for the land. No, nope, nope. Nope, nope. Oh, no, nope. Nope. Nope. Was that a trick? No.

Oh, was that a trick? No, that was totally That was just a slip Oh man That was a mistake It was almost But it was very difficult for me To not sing the song

Our brains are very automatic So was mine And I was staring right at the blind daughters We can't see them We can't see them Old Hollywood But recent death Throughout hotels all over the world

This recently deceased Permanent A list comic actor left Pats of Butter on the ceilings of every hotel room in which he ever stayed. Just for a goof? Pats of butter. Pats of butter. Was it like actual like in outside of the package?

Pats of butter on the ceiling. Robin Williams? No, no, no, no. Recently this seems. Very recent. Very recent. Very recently. I immediately thought Harry did stand, but he's not a comedian. No, there's not a comedian. Although I can't you just picture him. Can't just picture him this very seriously? leaving a pad of butter on the ceiling.

What was it? Recently. Very recently. One of the most famous comedic actors of all time. Recently deceased. Was he old? Very old. Extremely old.

Not Dick Gregory. No. No. Not who else. I don't know who just died. The French love him. Mr. Bean? Mr. Bean is dead.

Rowan Atkinson is not dead. No. Mr. Bean is not dead. The French love Mr. Bean. I love Mr. Bean. You know, I really hate Mr. Bean. Let's try. Both you and Henry really hate Mr. Bean, right?

It's the noises he makes. I hate it so much. The French love him. I'm going to need another hand. Hint is. Oh, Jerry Lewis. Yeah. He died?

Did he die? You guy, where have I been? Like a couple months ago. Oh, I was going to say like last week. Really? Yeah, maybe it was a couple months ago. It was in August, it was in August 20th. It was about a month ago.

Oh, it was after, it's right after party bus. You can't expect me to know anything right after party bus. It was right after party bus. Yeah. I don't know what's going on. I missed two weeks of time after party bus. Ooh, he disinherited five of his kids. Hell yeah.

Didn't he have a bunch? Yeah, but didn't he? Didn't he have like Jerry's kids? Yeah, those weren't his kids. Those were, you know. Yeah. Oh, I know. You know.

Oh, I know. Oh, I know. We all know. Oh, I know. We all remember the jokes. We all remember being kids. Oh, I know. We all.

How many times I remember him is like, hey, we got Jerry's kids over here referring to Henry and I. Yeah. Now, tell me. Thanks. We all know. Pats of butter, eh? That's a real. Dick move.

Yeah, yeah, because, yeah, he's such a, well, he was an asshole. Like, somebody has to clean that up. Jerry Lewis. He doesn't care about that shit. That's what women are four, I imagine, is something that he would say. Yeah, I wouldn't be surprised. All right, and we only got one other blind out of him, but this one, this could be a bigger one. This adds some juice to it.

Another one of the most famous female members of the Church of Scientology is very quietly planning to extricate herself from the organization. She won't discuss it now and perhaps never will, but she used to be a close friend of Leah Romini. It's a brave thing for a celebrity to do, but this actress has been having doubts for a while, and Leah's anti-Scientology series pushed her even farther. Longtime members have to adjust to losing most of their friends and many business associates, assistants, managers, accountants, menannies, etc. So it takes a lot of preparation. This will be a huge slap in the face to David Miss College. I'm going to say Jada Pinkett Smith.

No, not that big, because Jada Pinkett Smith is not officially a Scientologist. Her and Will Smith, they have to give hush money to Scientology. So Scientology doesn't expose them as a bisexuals. Who cares? Oh, yeah, they should totally be out as bisexual, please. Oh, my God, I would watch that tape. We all know. We would all watch that tape. Everybody would watch that tape.

We would all watch that tape. We would all watch that tape. But like Independence Day, Will Smith. Plus, I feel like their kids are pretty out and clear. They're very gender fluid and everything. Some people. Nicole Kidman. No, Nicole Kidman is not a Scientologist.

In fact, she got kicked out of production. She's an SP. She's an SP. Katie Holmes is officially out, right? Officially out. She's out. Not quite. She was bigger in the 90s in one of the worst movies of all time.

Ooh. With another Scientologist. She was bigger in the 90s, one of the worst movies. movies of all time. All of the 90s. I think was in the late 90s. But it was her and another Scientologist in a romantic comedy playing the leads.

Oh, this is such a fun puzzle. That is a fun. Man, I'm not smart today. I think I'm dumb today. It was a romantic comedy. The other Scientologist was a man. Yeah, other Scientologist was a man. Was it Tom Cruise?

No, no, no. Helen Hunt. No, no, no, no. I mean, it was a romantic comedy. Like, it was, they may have been going, for Oscar bait on this one, but it didn't quite work out. Rosie O'Donnell also tried a similar type movie in the 90s.

Did somebody play it? Writing on the bus with my sister? Did somebody play a developmentally disabled person? Yes. Julia Louise Dreyfus! Yeah, no, no. Julia, Louis. Julia Lewis.

Daniel. Daniel. Daniel. We're Oscar baiting with that, huh? Well, you can't Oscar bait with the romantic comedy. I mean Diane Keaton was in it I know That's definitely an Oscar

That's an Oscar man I know Yeah she should get out of there Yeah she should probably get out of there I think she's lifelong Damn Well I don't well I don't know if her parents were But she's been in Scientology for decades and decades

It had me so freaked out during the Emmys And they kept panning over to Elizabeth Moss And how everyone every time anything won for Handmaid's Tale They'd all be like Lizzie, we love you so much. Lizzie Moss, you're so great. And then every time I look at Elizabeth Moss, I'm just worried about her.

She's sad. Get out, man, but you can't. Well, she's a lifer as well. So, I mean, she ain't going fucking anywhere. She don't know. I didn't know Julia Louis. No. It's difficult, it's difficult not to say it. Julia Louia Dreyfus is not.

Lane from Seinfeld is not a Scientologist. Imagining Julie Lydrevis in the other sister is hilarious. That is. I fucking love that movie. That is pretty funny. It is, I think that. Tank Girl kind of go side for side as to like my least favorite movie ever.

Yeah, but remember when he dresses up like the dog? Do you remember that? I remember. I remember. I remember. And she loves dogs and she loves Daniel. Wanted to jump through the TV and smash his head in with a fucking barbell.

And especially, I mean, Giovanni Ribisi is just so, but he's such a good actor and he was like, why did you do this? Is he though? I mean, Band of Brothers. Oh, you mean saving Private Ryan. Saving Private Ryan? In my mind, they're all the same.

He wasn't that good in it. Yeah, but remember him friends? Oh, he was good in it. And he was like just sad most of the time and then he had a fucking death scene. He wasn't that good. I mean, he wasn't Daniel good, but. And then he, yeah, he was in friends.

He also played a Daniel type character in Friends. Did he just cite Friends is how good an actor be. Yes. Yeah, him playing Phoebe's slow brother who should not have been having children. No, he should have. Are you trying to say, no. I was going to, not again. I'm not going to start making jokes about that.

I'm just saying he didn't, he didn't seem like a very responsible human being. No, they weren't. And she was too old, deaf children. Mm-hmm. So, let's get out here. Giovanni Rubisi. Giovanni Rubisi, what else is? Giovanni Rubisi had been good in.

I think he's great. What has he been good in? Everything. His body of work. Oh, Avatar. Beautiful in that. I'm not seen that movie. I don't care.

Ooh, the last two years of Sneaky Pete. What's that? It's a TV show that I've never heard of. Never heard of it. But it has been on the air for two years. Wow. Sneaky Pete. You sneaky Pete.

Oh, sorry. He's the star. He's like my bitch pills today. He's the star of Sneaky Pete. It's an Amazon show. Let's watch it. No. I bet he's great at it.

You're just scared. You're scared he's great at it. If you're not even Bezzi's career, hasn't sunset, and it's just rising. It's just rising. It's just there. It's just there.

It's just flatline. Yeah, he's just, he's just always been there. I, for one, am proud of him. Yeah, he's been working since 1985. That is a long career. Wow, he's older than I thought. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You said it's child actors. First, first show was Highway to Heaven. I really just think I thought he was hot. I thought he was hot too. And now looking back, I'm like, I feel like it's a Randy situation. Are we wrong? Are we wrong? Yes, I don't think Giovanni Ribisi is hot.

Are we wrong? Yeah, I think I might be wrong here. I don't know. He looks like a skater, he looks like a skater boy that we could have gone to high school. I think that's why I liked him so much. Is it like dumb? Like, hey, man. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I'll kiss you later, by the gem. Yeah, he just, he looks, he has got like a, like, Travis from Clueless vibe almost, you know? Just like some guy who's kind of dumb. He's just some guy. Yeah. Well, I guess we put a nail on that fucking coffin, didn't we? I guess I'm never going to fuck Giovanni Ribisi now. Well, good.

Well, you definitely fuck him. Just don't give him an Oscar. Yeah, you're right. I won't. That's all we got for today on page seven. Thank you all very much for listening. Hard takes, man. You can fuck someone even if they're not a good action.

Oh, yeah, yeah, I think I can. Goodbye, everyone. Bye.