Page 7 - Episode 221: Jingle Jangle

Episode Date: December 2, 2017

Molly, Marcus and Jackie dish about favorite terrible Hallmark movies, the reasons fallout of Jay Z admitting to infidelity, and season 2 of Riverdale! Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

A one and a two and so I want to buy these shoes For my mama please It's Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size Yes, it's the season Can you hurry soon? Daddy says there's not much time Come on, we just gotta finish out, you see music for quite a while

I know these shoes that make her smile I wanted to look beautiful If Mama meets Jesus Oh my God! It's the angelic season of Christmas June. I want the record to show that I've never heard that song Anywhere but here, and I already know all the words

just from hearing it here. Oh, my God, it is so good. The second we finished Thanksgiving dinner, I forced Henry to play it, and I sang it drunkenly in front of a bunch of people. No one knew this song. Nobody cared about this song. And I'm just screaming it.

But you know, that's what happens when you're mixing, we're drinking egg dog and I'm drinking bruise and I'm slamming tequila shots. Oh, just a dairy tequila mixture right there. Well, there's nothing I like more with my tequila than a tall glass of milk. I recently watched Christmas vacation because it was on And every fucking time Chevy Chase drinks eggnog, it makes me so like immediately nauseous. Like I remember as a kid watching those scenes and being like, I'm horrified by this. And I'm no less horrified as an adult.

Oh yeah. I only drank the egg dog because Ed forced me to drink the eggnog because he made the egg. I'm not an eggnog fan. But it was emotionally. It was basically just, it was basically whiskey or bourbon with just like a tinch of eggnog on top. Like a white Russian with eggnog instead of milk? Kind of, yeah, it was disgusting. It was viscous.

Oh. I also watched, so on what was it, it must have been the day after Thanksgiving maybe. I was like, give me my trash television and I got cable so I can watch the real trash. and by which I mean like the primetime basic cable trash and there was a 2020 special hosted by Peter Billingsley who is the little boy from a Christmas story who Oh did you watch that?

Oh yeah you saw it? I didn't see it but no I just remember like watching it and getting like super pissed off at the promo and just like I don't like that this has happened It's painful it was viscerally I was watching I watched the whole thing and I was like I need to stop watching this I left the room at one point.

I feel so bad for Peter. Peter Billingsley looks like he wants to fucking kill himself. Yeah. Of course he does. Of course he fucking does. I mean, at the same time, I watch it every year. I know every line of his childhood face. But that poor boy, he's a 12-year-old boy, he's never been able to escape his life.

He's been stuck as a 12-year-old boy for his entire fucking life. He's probably 48 years old. He's like an extremely successful producer. Well, good. I feel like that's good. I know he was an elf. I found out in this fucking 2020 thing that he was an elf. I'm glad that he's an extremely successful producer

because he looks like he has a fucking gun to his head this entire time. And he looks so miserable. And I'm glad he's a producer. Definitely in the public eye, he's still as stuck as this little boy. So I'm very glad that he actually isn't stuck there. Because even as he's interviewing people, he's interviewing Chevy Chase, he's interviewing Will Ferrell. You know, they go through all the Christmas movies

and all the people are just like, well, you understand. And you yourself are in an iconic Christmas movie. And he's just like, uh-huh. Like he seems so miserable. And it was just like the least interesting facts ever. It was like, you know, I learned that the reindeer in fucking the Tim Allen one are animatronic. The Santa Claus. Please.

Of course they're animatronic. I know. Like I didn't need this special to tell me that they're animatronic. They were like, this was before the magic of CGI. It was just the, it was like. Oh, it was the best. It was like, just imagine like, I don't know who their target audiences, like I guess like a 65-year-old couple at home on Friday after Thanksgiving.

It's just like, oh, before CGI. I guess they did animatronics. I don't know. I got to really highly recommend. So everyone knows I live in Henry's now. He's got every cable channel under the sun. I've been watching a lot of the Hallmark Channel because 24 hours a day, it's the shittiest Christmas movies of all time.

I watched the weekend of Candace Cameron Burr. Ooh, I would watch that. I didn't know that she was on Hallmark. Oh, dude. She has so many fucking movies on Hallmark, and the one that Natalie and I just, like, had a big, big bottle of Y. And we sat down and we watched Switched at Birth,

which is, if you can, Henry walked in halfway through it, guessed everything about the movie just by watching a minute of it. It's the career. They are identical twins. And one is a career woman And one's the family woman

She's got kids They don't know how each other does it And for Christmas they switch places Like by magic or just by choice By choice they decided to do it to see It's like just like they were kids again And you know what? It's difficult being a career woman

And it's difficult being a mom But at the end of the day They both fell in love with really hot dudes And no one was hotter than the other One was more of like a salt and pepper daddy The other one was more of a, he was a nebish character. Nebish, okay. But good for the career woman, you know, to get a little more down home.

She was awful at it. Now, is this the 1991 switched at birth with Ed Asner? Oh, no. No. Or is this the 1999 switched at birth with Rosanna Arquette? No, no, no, no. Oh, no. No, maybe it's called Switched at Christmas.

It might be called... Oh, by even better. This is a new movie, baby. Oh, yeah, it's switched at Christmas. It's switched at Christmas, baby! Watch the whole damn thing. Loved every second. Should we call it switched at birth?

Oh, there's already two. Who gives a fuck? It's not Christmas-y enough. You got to call it switched at Christmas. Slapp a Christmas on it. It makes no fucking sense. But do it anyway. No, it doesn't make sense.

They were switched at Christmas. Yeah, but that's not a phrase. Like, I feel like it should be, like, Like, I don't know, like Christmas, cheer, Twitch or something. You know, it's not, I want it to be a play on something. Switched Forecloth. Wait a second. Didn't we talk about Switched for Christmas last week that you were going to watch Switch for Christmas?

Maybe. Because I do remember, because I went to the IMDB and I remember just because they're identical does not mean these twins even like each other. As strange twin sisters get together for an obligatory pre-Christmas launch a year after their mother died. Both women are unhappy and frustrated with their own lives. They do not, they do what any identical twins in need of outlooks would do. What do they do? They swap lives until Christmas Day. That's what they do.

Why Christmas? We don't know it has nothing to fucking do with Christmas, but we'll just put it on Christmas. Wait a minute. So it wasn't like a freaky Friday type thing. They just switched their lives? Just switch their lives. Did they have sex with each other's husband? No, they were, one was divorced and the other one was.

was eternally single. Was it the business woman who was eternally single? Duh, Molly! You can't have both love and a career. We all know this. If Catherine Hegel has taught us anything. You can't do it, baby. I mean, oh my God,

are both played by Candace Cameron? Yeah. Oh, yeah. She plays Kate and Chris. Oh, my God. I just like it. With a K? No. Oh. They didn't even like try to have different hair. I wondered wanted to have like a dumb wig on the

it was just they just looked the same pretty much dressed the same very easy to just swap her right out oh yeah starring eon Bailey and mark delkin yeah you familiar with that no no one's familiar with Mark

Delkin he doesn't even have his name credited and it looks like he's one of the main characters it was that salt and pepper daddy or nebish daddy I think that's salt and pepper oh yeah he's hot he's hot and you know he's no like

any of the other ones speaking I um I forgot what I was going to say guys I'm going to watch the fuck out of this when I go home perfect yeah so they just wear different clothes huh pretty much

but one of them has snotty kids and they never look up for their phones but you know what once Aunt Chris comes in then they realize we gotta start working for this family Jesus, look at this list Or listen to this list Of Candace Cameron Burke's Christmas movies

Yes, please, I need to You're gonna need to make a copy of this And email it to me, Marcus And by the way, on the hallmark channel.com They misspell her name It says more Candace Cameron Burr movies Hell yeah It's Journey Back to Christmas

Christmas under wraps See, that's what I'm talking about That's a fucking pun. That's what I can work with that. I don't even like puns, but at least if you're going to have a Christmas title, it's got to be, you know, jingle all the, you know, you got to play,

work with the phrases we have at hand. There's let it snow. See, again. A Christmas detour. Uh-oh. Oh, no. Where's she going to? Actually, I want to go back,

and I want to say, I've got these, these descriptions right here. I want to read the title. And you guys guess what the movie's about. Okay, I like this. I like this. All right. A journey back to Christmas.

Molly, you take this one. Okay, a journey back to Christmas. Back. Now that's one of that. That's a clue. A journey back to Christmas. But also a journey forward to Christmas. Kind of a journey.

back to the future too to Christmas. A journey back to Christmas. Candice Cameron is a stressed out career mom who doesn't enjoy her regular life with her kids. And she's not enjoying the little things. And even though it's the middle of the year and it's not even Christmas at all, they have a family meeting. And they say, how can we capture some happiness and some cheer in this family? And they say, well, we need to capture the joy and the cheer that happens at Christmas. And so they decide that even though it is,

they missed Christmas this past year, maybe because of a family tragedy, they, or maybe because she had to be at work, they have to go back to Christmas. And so they have a Christmas at a time that is technically past Christmas on the calendar and they'd rediscover their family love and joy for themselves.

Not even close. Oh, that was so good. That was great. No, that was by the numbers. That was great. We should make that movie then. Yes. I'm sure it's on the Hallmark Channel.

Don't you worry. All right, Jackie, try it out. You want me to... Journey back to Christmas. Journey back to Christmas, but also forward. But also forward to Christmas. That's the part that took me up. The fact that you keep saying back to Christmas,

I feel like it's something like an old long-lost love that she was driving towards... You know, it's like, oh, Candace Cameron Berg's heading towards her Christmas ceremony. And, you know, it's like, oh, all the family, they're all getting back together. It's up in this beautiful cabin. and she accidentally hits a deer. She goes, she wants to take the, she's taking the deer,

she takes it to the vet. When she goes to the vet in her hometown, the vet used to be her high school sweetheart. She's recently divorced. Yeah, yeah, she's recently divorced. This is just Sweet Home Alabama with the deer. Um, yeah. Have you watched the Hallmark movies lately, Marcus?

Do you realize how they're all exactly the same? If it's not that that she's, then it's a fucking George Bailey type situation, and that she's got to realize, she's got to get Christmas cheer back. Closer. Actually, the second one is closer. A World War II-era nurse is transported in time

to 2016 and meets a man who helps her discover the bonds of family and that the true meaning of Christmas is timeless. Have to watch this. She's probably just thrilled to not be in the middle of World War II anymore. No, no, no, no. It's Christmas, Molly. It's the Christmas spirit.

And that stars Tom Scarritt. I love Tom Scarrant. We all love Tom Scarrant. Does she bang Tom Scarrant? I don't know. And then does her body morph into the 95-year-old woman that she would be at the present day? And then do they stay together? Oh, she's like a crumbling pile of bones.

I would imagine that Tom Because in the poster The JPEG that's on the Hallmark site There's a young man on the left And then an old man on the right That's Tom Scarrett I would imagine the young man Is the man that the nurse fell in love with in World War II

And Tom Scarratt is the same man 40 years later Oh Well either way some young person is fucking an old person Hell yeah And that's what I love to hear which is why I just watched the trailer for Call Me By Your Name

Man What's Call Me by Your Name? Dude, everyone's like losing their minds for it And I can't wait to watch it It is a, like I'm gonna say, I'm gonna slap a France on it I don't know what country they're in It's definitely like a whimsical romance tale Betwixt a, what is it called?

Like spring autumn fashion, romance? What are those called? It's the summer of night. In 1983, and precocious 17-year-old, Elio Perman, is spending the days with his family at their 17th century villa in Lombardy, Italy. He soon meets Oliver, a handsome duck coral student who's working as an intern for Elio's father. Amid the sun-drenched splendor of their surroundings, Elio and Oliver discover the heady beauty of awakening desire over a course of a summer that will alter their lives forever. All right. But one of the dudes is a lot older than the other one.

And you know what? Who will watch? We'll watch it happen. It's going to be a... I think it's a movie I have to watch by myself. I have to watch it by myself. I've heard a lot of queer people saying that it's like a beautiful portrayal, like what will be a very popular movie,

like a beautiful portrayal of queer love, and that people are saying that it's like really exceptional. So I'm excited. And also, Hotcha, matcha. Gimmy, yummy, yummy, yummy. Yeah, I would watch out like going and watching it alone at the theater because remember that story I told us like when I went and saw that Scarlet Johansom movie

Under the Skin Alone in a Theater and it was just creepy? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh yeah, it's going to be real creepy for me to do that alone. But, you know, ah, I'm in Hollywood, baby. Especially when you're rubbing one out in the movie theater. Yeah. No, I'll wait because I'm going to have greasy popcorn fingers. I'm going to have to wait to hit the showers or something.

Yeah, and I love more than that. Post-movie shower. Doesn't everybody immediately get into a cold shower right after they watch a movie? I also saw, man, I saw three billboards throwing it out. How is that? Dude, dude. So fucking good. Francis McDormand, I love you.

I love her. What's three billboards about? It is. So basically, her daughter was raped and murdered and set on fire. And no one in the town did anything about it. It's a small town. And so she sets up these three billboards, these huge billboards in the town,

basically calling out the police department of why haven't you done anything about this? But Sam Rockwell, fucking Woody Harrelson, there's so many amazing people in it, but it's also a dark comedy. Yeah, don't give anything. away. There's nothing. It sounds like a twists and turns. That's it. That's all I knew about it

going in and that's it. That's all I know. That's all I knew. And I went in and I was just like, the fact that it's a dark comedy is it's brilliant. All right. Yeah, that sounds fucking awesome. That sounds great. I went and saw Thor Ragnarok last night. It was fucking awesome. It is so good.

That fucking scent soundtrack. That fucking scent soundtrack. I loved it. Yeah, Thor was, I'm like, I feel weird about how much I loved that movie because I don't care about Thor, but I loved it. I could have used about 40 to 50% less jokes. Yeah. Wow.

It was about it. Got a little too joky. It's a little bit like, it's internet humor. Yeah. It's, yeah, that's exactly, it feels like the internet wrote half of the screenplay. Yeah, and it feels like they're doing the jokes for the pleasure of people being like, ooh, I got that one. You know, like it feels. I said that on a meme yesterday.

Exactly. Yeah, it's a little meme. Yeah. I keep forgetting. I got all these things pulled up. Oh, synth music. Are we hitting spoiler alert corner yet? No, not quite yet.

We're waiting? I think we got away because, you know, we're doing our Riverdale wrap up. All right. And we record on Wednesdays, but the thing is, is that it comes out on Wednesdays. Yeah. So we're going to be kind of a week behind in our Riverdale wrap up. every week. But we can talk about today all of the episodes so far.

We can do that. But we'll do that later. We'll do that later. We're going to leave that to the end. That way people can just tune out if they don't want to know. Oh, yeah. What are we going to call it? What's our Riverdale wrap up going to be?

Oh, I kind of just like calling it Riverdale wrap me up. You know what I mean? Hello. I watch all of it. I will get it too. I just get some. Molly, how do you feel about what Jay-Z is saying about Beyonce right now? Have you been seeing this shit?

No, what do you say? He came out. I saw that people have a big problem with Beyonce all the time. And she, wait, what was the last? I feel like there was just a thing with Beyonce, but like right after Halloween, she like went to like Lil Kim, a bunch of different Lil Kims for Halloween. And it was like, yeah, her Halloween, she did this, like, put out all these pictures after Halloween.

And I was just like, Beyonce is flawless. And then I saw people were having some something to say. People always have something to say about her. What did Jay Z do? He came out and finally said he's been cheating on her. Real, yeah. That happened today? Wow, what a big news day.

No, I mean, it came out. It's like, I mean, basically, you know, he said it on the album, but it's like since everyone's talking about the Grammys right now and he's up for a bunch of shit and, you know, it's a great fucking album. But I think that he just had to say, yeah, yeah, I was cheating on her. So he says it explicitly not just like how people thought. Yeah, I guess I don't know if it came out today because, you know, I know this is crazy, but I don't receive the New York Times. But apparently, but apparently he did a big interview just saying, yeah, I did it.

I cheated on her and we worked through it through our art and we've been in therapy for a long time. And the only reason why we didn't get divorced is because we've been in therapy together and that they used, she used lemonade and he used his, I don't know, was it, 4.44, 444. I don't know how to say. 444? I think it's just 444. I guess they were... Four hours and 44 minutes. You listen to Jay-Z.

He has things to say. And I think that we all would, but I just didn't know how you felt about it. Do you like that he's coming clean? I mean, yeah, that's interesting, right? Because I get... Right, after Lemonade, everyone was like, obviously Jay-G cheated on Beyonce.

And then it was like this ambiguous, like, well, did she just do it? Did she just make art about it, or did it really happen? And then after his album, people were like, Jay Z, cheat on Beyonce. I think that the most interesting thing about this is that I feel like a lot of people have a,

like I feel like a lot of times people want the response to be like, well, an idiot to cheat on Beyonce because she's so awesome. But of course, cheating isn't about the other person that you're cheating on not being hot, right? It's like about whatever you're missing in your own self or like whatever

you feel like is missing in the relationship or whatever. So I actually feel like it's a pretty good opportunity to like talk about why people cheat. Like if you can be the most famous couple on earth and cheat on like the most beloved, like one of the most beloved women that it's like that it's like opens up an opportunity to like kind of, you know, may have a more complex way that we think about cheating. No, that's basically what he came out and said. He's like, I had a lot of fucking demons. I emotionally disconnected and I just made a bunch of mistakes.

And it wasn't about her. It was about me and dealing with myself. And also, you know, it's like, bad on you, but good on you, you know, for at least. I guess admitting in this point because he really doesn't have much of a choice. He's got to, you know, you did it. Just fucking say it. And I guess they were working on these, both the individual albums.

They were working on an album together as well while they were working on both of them. And that has yet to be released, which I imagine it will be released, but they wanted to finish their own separate projects first. Yeah, well, and I also, yeah, I feel like, I feel like it's kind of neat

to have an example of people who cheated on each, you know, I mean, I guess it depends. But I think in theory, it's kind of neat to have, like, famous people where there was cheating and it didn't end the relationship, like, where you can be like, okay, you cheated and that was a total asshole thing to do and you admit it. And then I dealt with it like Beyonce and you dealt with it like Jay-Z and we go to therapy and that it's not like this was the automatic you're done. Buck Jay-Z forever. Like, this is something that they can work through. I feel like that's also a more complex way than how we usually talk about cheating.

I drop the ass I would drop their ass so fast No I'm sure if you're dealing with your demons You got whatever whatever yeah But I drop the ass you know that Maybe if you're two of the most famous people in the world It's a little different But Jackie had dropped the ass

I dropped a ass too I'm not saying you shouldn't drop the ass I'm saying you know Some people don't And that that's so and it doesn't mean you're a total sucker Of course. No, no, no. Everybody is different, absolutely.

But I'm dropping ass. I'm absolutely dropping ass. That's the whole case. I'm fucking dropping the ass, man. Daniel Day Lewis. He's not doing it anymore. He's got a great sadness. He's quitting.

He's out. He's no more. He won't act anymore. Good for him, I say. Yeah, but also it's like, I just, he's on, I don't know, what is it, W magazine, I don't even know what this is. He looks like, he's so thin, but you know what? I think he's the only man that could wear this many bracelets that I would want to have sex with. I think the Daniel Day Lewis is just extremely sexy, and I want him like the bonyer, the better, you know, like the more tortured and bony, the better for some reason.

I'm glad you take the bony daddies. I like the bigger daddies. I like more, I want more of a grubby. You know, I want, I want to get my, my fingers in them. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Man, you could lose a sandwich in. Yeah, hell yeah.

Yeah, whereas I want like a ropey daddy. Marcus? I like somewhere in between. That's nice. That's nice. I mean, I'll take most daddies. But I'm, you know, I guess it's sad to see him go, but, you know, he's done enough. Yeah, that's what I feel. I feel like if you have a

honestly, I feel like after I would quit way too soon. I would have one good thing and I'd be like, I'm done. But I feel like if you're an actor and you have a great career, quit while you're ahead. Don't stick around

until you're doing Candice Cameron Burke material, you know. And he's 60. That's perfectly reasonable. Yeah, that's when plenty of people retire. Not in this country. Watch the toilet flush my ass. No, I would, but I was just thinking

the exact same thing. Yeah. Right. I had a question that I wanted to ask you guys because when I was here, before I came here, I was in the CVS buying Christmas and Hanukkah decorations. Good for you. And thank you. And I decided not to leave the store because blues travelers run around was playing. And I decided I wanted to hear the whole thing.

Oh, I'm going to come here run around. Where is a short by wet. Me does keep picked up. Lord does it slow. Down. Where's the Christmas music? In a ride aid? I know you'd think, right?

I don't know why they were playing blues travelers run around, but I thought it would be fun to ask you guys, what is the most embarrassing song you've ever decided to stay in a ride aid for, or at the grocery store or whatever? Because I do this a lot. If, like, Call Me Maybe is on, I'll definitely stay. Like, I'll hear a song and stay. But I'm proud to do that with Call Me Maybe,

less proud to do it for Blues Travelers Run Around. Not too long ago I did it with Firework. That's something to be proud of It's a good one I was just like Fuck yeah man I'm in here I'm buying a 24 case of beer

That I'm gonna walk my ass home with And you know what? Yes Katie Perry I am a firework Yeah that's a legit Good Katie Perry Especially that album She that album specifically

Her work since then Maybe not as much But that album is stellar Yeah if we're going with that era I don't know if I've ever hung around In a Rite Aid to hear the rest of the song, but the one I could think of that I probably would hang around for that's kind of in that same blonde is, uh, or same blonde, uh, that gives you a little bit of a preview.

That same, uh, realm is probably what's up by four non blondes. Oh, yeah. Oh my God and I pray. Bray every day. Oh, little, too, uh, oh yeah, baby. That's, I mean, it's my, it's still my number one karaoke song. Yeah. Really?

Oh, yeah. Man, I'll fucking kill it every fucking time. I'm not as good at it. But you know what, man, I got my heart out on my sleeve, and isn't that what matters most? That's absolutely what matters most. Thank you. I'm very surprised they're not playing Christmas music.

It's all over the place here. The one thing I miss about New York is how, like, especially in Ridgewood, when they play music through the building, so as you walk, and even in the middle of the night, you just hear like, Have yourself, oh, Mary, And I'm just sobbing as I walk home. And I'm just like, why would they do this to me? I miss that about Ridgewood, too, the disembodied Christmas music.

I think it's a Ridgewood specific thing, or at least it is not in my new neighborhood. And they still have the lights and the decorations and stuff, but they don't have the speakers every 20 feet. Like you're in a constant Christmas parade playing deck the halls. And I really do miss it a lot. That's got to be kind of strange. Yeah, people who don't like Christmas, don't like it. in Ridgwood. Yeah, I mean, doesn't that bleed into people's apartments?

It's not like blasting. It's just like if you want it. No, that's what makes it even scarier, though, because it's so slight. And you're like, am I hearing this? Is it reverberating off the buildings just as you walk down the street? It's very, very scary. Yeah. It's like Bing Crosby falling you down the street.

Yeah, it's just like a soft Bing all the way. And it's, they have several speakers. So it's like the whole, probably for a mile in Ridgewood, like you hear Christmas music. Oh, I. I have news. I watched the first installment of the Property Brothers at home. It's apparently a series somehow. I think it is.

I think they're just, I don't know how they're going to do it because they've got to renovate a house every time. It's Drew and his wife, who Drew is concerningly skinny. I'm worried about him. It's dancing with the stars. I know, but I'm worried about him.

It's somethings, it's, he's too skinny. But it's him and his wife, and they have a honeymoon house. in Los Angeles, I think. And the first episode is them renovating this honeymoon house and Jonathan is, you know, in between them the entire time. But then they're like, at the end they were like,

coming up next on more of Drew's honeymoon property brotherhood home. And they've got another house somewhere that they're doing. And they're like, in this damn first episode, they're like, we got to get this house done because this is where we're going to live. Like those are the stakes. And then in the next episode, they're like, we really got to get this house done because this is going to be our home. How many fucking homes do you have?

Is this the other place? Is this the other place in Vegas? They do have a place in Vegas, for sure. Well, that's what's next. Yeah. Yeah, so they're doing all of their homes? They're doing all their homes. It's the whole season of Drew and his damn wife

and Jonathan tagging along, renovating all of their homes. And they've got another series that's called Ranch Makeover, Property Brothers style. Oh, my God, I love it. I got to get more into them. I did see on our Facebook page 7 page, Have you guys seen the third brother? Oh yeah, oh yeah. J.D.

What is his name? He's fucking... J.D. He's horrible to look at. I feel like I'm watching a My Chemical Romance video. Yes, he looks a lot like Jack White and generally My Chemical Romance. He looks like a 2000s-era emo guy. Right?

Right. It is so upsetting the hell. hair makes me almost nauseous. Maybe his life has been really hard because he feels so left out by his performative brother, you know, the brother's being so close. See, that's when you get, you know,

you make a podcast about it. Come on. Hey, come on, guys. It's ridiculous. I was so upset when I saw it that it's just like, at least get a haircut. His face is fine. And you know what? I'm even more into the Jack thing if you're gonna go for it do it you know wear a full white suit got the hat on honestly you know i'd bang jack white but i wouldn't bang this guy hmm that's where i draw the line

this tells you something well are these guys all canadian yeah uh what and scotted they have scottish ancestry oh come on you're a canadian just own it all right oh yeah they're canadian as hell Oh, yeah. Well, J.D., he's a comedian. Ooh. He's in a sketch comedy group called YFG. Oh, no. As well as a member of the internationally known loose-muse improv.

Oh. God, that's disgusting. I hate it. How much you want to bet that in their promotional materials? it says like, brother of the property brothers. It's got to be. It has to say, not the one on TV though. Yeah, not that property brother.

It's the lesser than property brother. Yeah, he's still a brother, but he's got no property. Oh, God. Yeah, he doesn't have as many property. And that's so sad. It's like he doesn't get to live on the compound? The other brothers get the compound? One of the homes that they've done in their like brothers do our own homes series

is a family party home in Las Vegas where the whole time they were doing it, they were like doing like the party room with a pool table and stuff and they were like, this will be JD's room. So I think maybe all three brothers live together in that home. I don't know, man.

Hey, Drew, you want to come to a loose moose show this afternoon? We're doing four o'clock down at the theater. Oh, and hey, Drew, it's Jonathan. Our other brother's got a loose moose show. Oh, my God, it makes me so sad. That's so fucking sad, dude. Oh, Canadian-themed improv. He is also performed on stage in Las Vegas as a celebrity impersonator for superstars

Adam Lambert and David Bowie. No. He is definitely more a fucking Adam Lambert. That's for sure. They can go live and they can go do their own property brothers together. And you know what? No one will watch it. No wonder they need to build houses.

They need to build houses that their brother can live. because he doesn't have any sort of living that he can make. Yeah, he just kind of seems like he's the quote unquote creative brother who just kind of does stuff. He does stuff. I don't know about that. I told you they're both, they're both, you know, former slash failed, whichever word you want to use, actors.

So it sounds like all three of them were probably insufferably performative as young people. are still insufferably performative, but Drew and Jonathan were able to parlay their acting careers into this big-ass empire. Poor J.D. was left with the improv group. So they're all from Calgary? Yikes. Jackie, I want you to go to Loosmoose.com.

And I'm going to show... And I'm going to show Molly the Loose Moose website. Oh, it's modern. It's not modern. It's from at best 1998. Yes, it's been updated since 1998. It's modern. It's modern.

It's Calgary's world famous home of improvised comedy and more. I don't know if this is internationally known. Oh, it is. It is now, baby. Don't worry. They're having the best of Chris Moose Carroll. Oh, no. Guys, we gotta go to fucking Calgary, man.

Christmas. I like Calgary. I was in Calgary just a couple of months ago. It's a very nice city. It reminds me of Texas a little bit. If we have listeners in Calgary, can we please send you guys to the Christmas? We've got to go.

We definitely have listeners in Calgary. I talked to some people when we did a show there that are page seven listeners. Hello, everyone in Calgary. Hi, go to Christmas Carol. Let us know everything fucking about. It's $23 to go to the Christmas Carol. You gotta pay the rent on your property brother's home.

But Jackie, this is the best of Christmas carols. This isn't just them working it out. This is them bringing their A game. You're right. I'm sorry. They started in 1996, so oh good. They've got 21 years of material. 21 years.

It's based on Charles Dickens' classic story. We have presented our version in various ways over the years as a Western, as a three-person production where each evening the audience chooses who's going to play Scrooge and in Roman times complete with chariot races. That makes me want to a kill myself. Well, in any event, Jackie, they promise it will be just as heartwarming and humorous as our previous versions, if not more so. I would hope.

I'd hope they get better. But also if they're doing a best of, so you mean they're going to switch if you from like Western, ancient Rome. Get out the chariot. Right still, get on the chain. No, no, no, no, no. I just imagine them, like, running all over the stage. They're like, ah, no, no, no, no, God, we've got to get the crown on him.

How many times per fucking loose-moose show do you think that the property brothers pop out from backstage and do a little cameo, and everyone in the audience is excited? Never. Not fucking once. No way, no way, no way. You think the property brothers got better things to do with their time? Yeah. I think the two of you grossly overestimate how popular the Property Brothers are.

If I did not know the two of you, if I did not do this show, I would have no fucking clue the Property Brothers were. Well, and that's why we're here, Marcus. That's why we're here. They're on all the bags. I also realize I haven't brought up my change.org position, my petition yet, right? Have I? For what? Oh, my God.

Guys, we got to get it started. We, I've been very upset about this, and I think that I just need to talk about it real fast. We recently rewatch nothing but trouble. Yep, as did I. Just watched it a couple days ago. I was looking it up, just looking at it around at it. It only has 8% on Rotten Tomatoes. Yeah, it's a bad movie.

It is not 8% worthy. Fuck that. It is at least 23% and that's my change. dot org petition is I want the fucking rotten tomatoes feeder to be raised on nothing but trouble because it deserves more than that because man they got the fucking you got the fucking bow crusher two box in it we're talking about that a fucking page seven facebook page it's two box first movie it's great it's fun the sausage scene come on the sausage scene is fantastic it is fun but chevy chase ruins the whole fucking thing yes chevy chase is a wet blank

It goes over the whole movie, but it is a beautiful movie. And the bone crusher is a lot of fun. And the judge is a wonderful character. He's got a dick for a nose. Come on. 23%. This is, I don't know how to change the Rotten Tomatoes tomometer. You don't know how Rotten Tomatoes works, do you?

I'm going to get in there and I'm changing it. Is it a democracy? It's an aggregator. It takes all of the reviews out there about. the movie and it aggregates them all together and then gives the the rotten tomato rating so this is going to be a big bat you're going to have to write a lot of letters jacky i got a lot of i got a lot of reviews to write i've got a lot of letters to do and if anyone wants to help me i'm going to make my change dot org petition and i think that this is i think i think i think this is the year of nothing

but trouble i'll sign it i'll absolutely i'll be right there behind you i'm loving it molly i will agree that i mean i will say it is a bad movie But there's a great movie in there. It is. Also, you know, I'm asking for 23%. It's not a lot. It's not a lot. But 8%, come on.

That's not 8%. Marcus, give me what your rating of it would be. I would give it a, I mean, personal and professional, two very different things. Personal, I'd give it like a 60% rating. Exactly. Personal. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's personal.

Professionally, I'd give it probably a lot. 12% all right okay so you're meeting me a halfway here but you know what you will see together we can make a change and I don't know what I got to do but I'm getting into the infrastructure of rotten tomatoes to do it what would you give switched at Christmas what percentage personally I would say professionally I personally I would say probably a 45% professionally I'm going to give it a 4% I just got a feeling that all Jackie really wants to do here is get the rating raised on nothing but trouble, but I think all she's going to end up with is nothing but trouble. Nothing but trouble.

Come on, John Candy and drag, fun! He was fun. He was very fun as the sister playing double roles. I mean, Henry kept saying that I could play that role, and I was offended, but I think that that's what makes it more fun. I would take that as a compliment Yeah And there was like There was just like a red letter media review

If nothing but trouble And you know And people are like oh why is this movie coming up I will say we've been talking about nothing but trouble here On the last podcast network for a good five six years We bring it up at least on one show At least every three to four months Yes

So nothing but trouble has been like the last podcast network Unofficial movie for quite a while now You're bringing it back Which is why we rewatched it. And also it's like the bone crusher has its own theme song. It's great. Bone crusher!

Oh, gosh! Ah! Bound! I remember when I was a kid. Come on. 93%. That's all I'm asking. So if our listeners out there, we can work

together on this. Have you made the petition yet? No, not yet. I got to contact all my local newspapers. You got to make the petition first and then we get it out there. Okay, I got work to do. At least, you know, I got a project now. Everyone needs a project.

You got a direction now. All right, it's time to the list. Go! Looms on the list. Got to have that list. You guys almost have it. We started off strong. You started off real strong.

All right. Celebrities who died without a will. Oh, that's six. Michael Jackson. Had no will. Really? Yeah. How did he not have a will?

If you're taking that many sedatives, have a will. And you got that much estate. Not much money. Abraham Lincoln had no will. Is Abraham Lincoln a celebrity? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I think he is.

Also, it's like, I mean, did he really think he was going to die in that theater? You know, everyone, everyone go out right now. Go get yourself a will. I'm going to go get myself a will. I think we all should have been. Poor Abraham Lincoln's life was just played by death. So you think that he would have been prepared to some extent. Yeah, he would have thought about it.

Yeah. I mean, really, all these, the whole list is like musicians. It's like Prince, Kurt Cobain, Amy Winehouse, Jimmy Hendricks, Tupac. But then it's like also like Martin Luther King. No will? No will. If you're up there spouting those beliefs, get a will. There's all

these things. I feel like it's like on sedatives every night have a will. Are you a rock and roll list? Have a will. Yeah. Target of American white supremacy. If you're a political figure in one of the most violent times in American history. I'm looking at you, Abraham Lincoln. Yes, it kind of seems to be the through line here.

And Prince, again, Prince has a whole estate. Yeah, huge. You know, I don't think it matters if I have a will because I got nothing. I got two cats, you know. I will take the cats. Don't let John take them. Send them, ship them to me in L.A. And there'll be sunny cats.

You know, it's very important to me what happens to the cats. But other than that, so I guess I should have a will just for the cats. For the cats. Just figure it out for the, do it for the cats.

Do it for the cats. Yeah. All right, stop for blind. Oh, we get some. Not bad. That's that better? Yes. Bad. Very good.

This is from the CMAs this year just a couple of weeks ago. Oh, I like, the CMAs are spicy. They're specie spicy. It's because they're all fucking drunks. That's why. Oh, and that's what this one is all about. Yes.

He is a permanent A-List singer, but last night, he was like the crazy uncle you're just trying to avoid. People think he was on some kind of stimulant just because he was running around like a rat in a cage. I hate the way this blind item is written. Ew. Yes, I know that is a line from the Smatching Pumpkins, but it was appropriate for last night. He already has those bug eyes. he was definitely off. Blake Shelton?

No, we're talking old school A-list. Oh, old-school A-list. I'm going to get Cyrus. Around that same time, you're getting warmer. Not Stephen Tyler. No, no, no. Stephen Tyler is from Aerosmith. Yeah, I know.

He wouldn't be at the Country Music Awards. It sounds like. And the bug guys, I get it. No, it's a country music artist. Garth Brooks. Garth Brooks. Oh, there you go. He's got crazy eyes, dude.

But also, I wouldn't refer to him as a rat in a cage. I don't know. Remember his alter ego? What was his name? Chris Gaines. Chris Gaines. I wish it was Gunt Gaines, though. I wish it was Gunt Gaines, too.

Or Chip Gaines. Either. That would be, can you imagine if 20 years ago Garth Brooks had an alter ego named Chip Gaines before the Chip Gaines of today? And then his 2.2 version of a video. himself would be gunt gains, but he'll be boot scooting all over the place right into the grave. That's really the only blind item we got this week because we got to get to the Riverdale wrap up.

Oh my God. The very first, the very first Riverdale wrap up, if you're not caught up with Riverdale, goodbye. Sianara. For those of you who are all caught up, this is the first time we've been able to talk about the whole thing. Who is the black hood? Oh, my.

God, oh my God. I, I, all right, guys, throwing it out there. I think it's Betty's mother. I think it's Betty's father. Oh. Betty's father, that's a pretty good guess. But Betty's mother, it can't be Betty's mother because it's most definitely a man,

because we have seen him twice. That's true, but at the same time, when she came in, when her mother came in with the snake around her neck, like, oh, the serpent, excuse me, around her neck. The serpent, yeah. When she had that fucking awesome, like, red outfit on, I was like, you go fucking girl after her mugshot came out. She's coming back to the dark side.

Yeah. Oh, she's definitely, yeah. And in case you didn't know, that's from Veronica's party. That's where Reggie date raped or tried to date rape Cheryl. Yeah, man. And I love the vigilante justice plot lines that they have in both the first season and the second season. They have a bunch of women getting together and fucking with violent men. It's great.

It's pretty awesome. Oh, then there's men. I mean, there's vigil. I mean, that's just like the general tone of Riverdale. It's just like Archie and friends are just vigilantes. Yeah. Take the law into their own hands. Because like the sheriff is there and like, but like the sheriff is like kind of like three steps behind everyone.

I like that the sheriff's kid is still friends with everybody, but every time he's like, should we call my dad? Everyone's like, no. You know, like they're working outside the justice system, which is great. Your dad sucks. Yes, he is accepting of your sexuality. And we're all very happy about that. But your dad sucks at his job. But also what if the sheriff is the Black Hood killer?

Ooh. Why? Why? What would be his motive? Remember when he said he was going to go after the, uh, the, uh, the, almost date rapist, right? And so Betty shows up to, like, stop it. And then he shows up and he said, oh, the cops were called.

But it's like, were they? Or did he show up? And he said, what are you doing here? but maybe maybe he was on his way there to go take care of him through a different kind of justice that like but since it wasn't like a part of the whole Riverdale society he was going to do it properly

that's a crazy thing but you know maybe well that would fit in because whoever is a serial killer has a sense that Riverdale is being corrupted and so it could be the sheriff being like things are going wrong I have to stop it that's actually a pretty good idea but well yeah because he went after you know, Moose and the lady,

whoever the lady, I can't remember who the lady was? A midge. Yeah, because they were, and can we please talk about how jingle jangle jangle is the dumbest fucking name in the world? Jangle jangle,

it's unbelievable. I love it. I want to get my fucking hands on some jingled jangle, baby. How fucking sexual they get. Hey, yo, Reg, can I get some of that jingle jangle? It's so dumb. It's such a dumb name.

And at one time, only once Veronica calls it JJ, which is what it should be called. No one's going to say jingle jangle all the time. Or why can't they just call it fucking Molly, which is what it clearly is based on what they took it, you know? It's Molly. I've been trying to figure out exactly what jingle, jangle was. Yeah, it's Molly. I think it's Molly, right? It seems like it's Molly.

Or ecstasy. Like, they're all, they're a little bit sped up, but they're mostly just like, sexual. Yeah. It's definitely Molly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Based on the effects of the Molly. party they had at Reggie's hotel room which, ooh, that was species

spicy. That was. Species spicy. Oh my God. And can we also talk about how they fucking turn the heat up to 11 on season two? Yes. Like season one, like you kind of want the whole time. It's like, okay, there's some there's some making out there. That's fine. It's cool. And then season two is just like, fuck it. Dude, it's the best.

But I feel I feel a little bit weird being I feel totally fine being turned on by Archie because he's clearly 25 There's something about Jughead And no Jughead's the one that's 25 Archie's the one that's 20 Really?

Okay Jughead's 25? All right It just he looks I felt a little bit weird During Jughead sex scenes That's all I'm saying Well this is just because he's an awkward person

Yeah He doesn't necessarily exude sexuality He's just an awkward guy guy. Oh, contrary. Dude, when he puts on the fucking serpent's jacket, oh, he's so bad.

He's so bad. Oh, my God, I love him. I love bad Jughead so much. I have been watching videos on YouTube of Archie speaking in his normal voice, and it is a delight and a trip, and I don't totally recommend it because he's much more obnoxious as a New Zealander. Yeah, I don't want to, I don't want to, ruin the Archie fantasy here.

I want to keep my Archie where Archie is. It's weird. It's definitely sounds like the flight of the concords guys and all the sudden you're like, you're not Archie. I hate you. You're not my all-American boy. It's like finding out that Santa Claus is your dad. Yes. And the

Archie instead of saying flirtatious, he says, fletitious. Ew. Yucky. No, thank you. What about that broad? What about the serpent broad? I don't remember any of their names. With the one with the colored hair.

Yeah, well, she hasn't been a... Well, Jughead already broke that off, right? Yeah, because she likes girls better anyway. Yeah, yeah. That's right. I want to watch her make out with a girl, dude. Yeah, she's fine as hell. You will eventually.

Well, really, that's the only thing that they haven't covered yet was some hot girl on girl action. Because they made fun of it a little bit in, like, the second episode when Veronica was trying out for, Veronica and Betty were trying out for the, what do they call? The vixen's. And they did the kiss and she was like, oh my God, lesbian kiss of stuffy and she's talking like three years ago. Which I appreciated that line.

I appreciated that too. That was pretty good. But there hasn't been any hot girl-on-girl action. There's been hot action of every other kind in this show. Oh, yeah. No girl-on-girl-on-girl yet. I'm going ahead and throwing it out there. What if it's a Betty and that girl making out in front of Jughead, though?

Oh, yes, please. You know Betty's got that dark side. Oh, yeah, she do. And actually, it's weird because it's like, I just, you know, obviously I always want to be a Veronica, even though I want to fuck Jughead. But I think, I think I like, maybe I am a Betty. Maybe I'm a Betty on the inside. Maybe. Yeah.

Yeah, I know on the inside. I know I'm a Jughead. Yeah, I was going to say, you got to, you got to own that. Yeah, definitely got to, even though Jughead is. I would say one of my least favorite characters. He's okay, but he just, he just gets a little snotty. He's a very snotty character. Which is surprising for someone that is poor that lives in a trailer.

Just saying, that like for how uppity he is about things, it's like, come on, man. It's like, yeah, you know, just, you're fine, cool out. He's defensive, you know, I feel like he feels like he's judged all the time, so he has to put up some walls. What about that? Yes, you know, it's true. What about the weird, hot daddy sugar man teacher? Oh, at the new school? Oh, that's right, the guy that, uh...

The Sugar Man! The Red and White. The Sugar Man, yeah. Because that was at the very end of the last episode, right? Oh, yeah, baby. See, I just watched... I watched all of the second season last night. I literally, yesterday, I walked over the fucking mountain into the valley.

I walked for hours. I walked 11 miles over a fucking mountain. I came home. I took a shower. I just got super stone. Just like, this is the rest of my night, man. I fucking love Riverdale. So it was just like laying in bed all wet and hot and bothered by myself watching Riverdale.

Do you know it was fantastic? Yeah, it was everything I wanted. No, I mean, I did kind of the same thing. Like, I watched the first like seven or eight episodes on a cross-country flight. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All at one. and then watch most of the second season in a day or two.

Yeah, I think I watched all of the first season, like, over a weekend. And then when I found out the second season was available, it took us about two days to get through it. Yeah, how are the significant others enjoying this? Carolina is not a fan. Why? I don't know. She's just not, she's not a fan. She's not into it.

Damn. That's cold. He says it's unbearably stupid. Well, she's correct. Whoa. Whoa. It is stupid, but not unbearably. You're stupid.

See, that's what I'd say. That's what I'd say. I think she's just not so much into the teen drama, which I get. I understand. I guess. Yeah, Gideon likes it. I didn't think that he would. I thought that he...

Oh, my God. You should have seen the eye roll I just got from Jackie. I was throwing... I guess. That was Cheryl Blossomworthy right there. Oh, my God, please. Please, I beat me, Sherr Blossom. I'm going to start wearing those kind of lips.

And I'm going to start wearing satin all the time. Oh, it's so sexy. That's going to be my new go-to. I think, I got to say, props to the writers for making Cheryl Blasem a character that you end up, you start off obviously hating her. She's a character you're supposed to hate, but damned if they don't put you on a roller coaster

of kind of loving her sometimes, you know. Sometimes you're, but then she also like twisted it all back around. Yeah. But it is very interesting, though, that how many times and all the problems they have with each other that Cheryl always calls them to coddle her. Like she isn't that ice cold, which is kind of nice. At least she does have, you know what,

if anything, her character isn't as too D as I thought it was going to be. Yes, although I think that they all have some unresolved trauma from the fucking suicide attempt and Archie trying to save her from the ice. That traumatized me watching that scene. And then the next, she was just like sitting by a fire in the next scene. I was like, you need to go to a hospital. You have hypothermia. That was very upsetting.

But so I think that she, you know, I'm not saying she needs to be more appreciative. I think she needs some intervention that Archie can't provide. And I feel like Archie probably needs to process. Archie's got the weight of the world on his shoulders. He does. And can we also talk about how Cheryl Blossom's mom recovered from third degree burns completely within like a week and a half? No, no, you just put you slap some lace collars on and she's fine. Put more lace on her.

She went from completely bandaged up To like kind of fucked up To completely fine Over the course of a week and a half It's like the act It's like the actress just goes like I'm tired of wearing this makeup Just let me be fine

It's probably what happened Also how about those gooies Huh? They need to have hotter gooies I don't know the goolies I think need to be kind of gross. Yeah, I guess that's true. But, you know, I mean, they sound like, in theory, if you're going to be jingle jangle makers, I mean, I imagine

I'm going to be attracted to you in some capacity. And I just wasn't. I was disappointed. I wanted more hot heat. But you're right. I guess they are called gooosies. Yeah, they're supposed to be the greasy, greasy ones. You mean the gooosies are the... Goolies are the ones that are bringing jingle jangle and a south side high.

Okay, right, right. I've been just listening to that. Said so seriously. No, no, no, no, no. That's what they're bringing the jingle jangle in, Molly. And they're bringing it to Southside High. It's starting to peek its way in a Riverdale high just a bit here and there, but for the most part. I mean, but, you know, that's mostly just Reggie bringing it in.

Oh, man, that Reggie. Oh, man. That Reggie. That video, their, like, Red Circle video was so, like, twink-tastic. It was ridiculous. That was so weird. Why did they have to have their shirts off? And that's coming from me.

Yeah, why did they have to have their shirts off? And why was Archie the only one with his shirt on? Yeah, Archie is a fucking idiot sometimes. I feel like, you know, sometimes I'm like, Archie, get your head out of your ass. And that Red Circle video was really one of those moments. That really was. Yeah.

Luke Perry getting shot. That was a heart wrencher right there. Yeah. Yeah, but you notice he keeps popping those pills. I bet that's going to be a storyline soon. I definitely saw that in the last episode. Oh, yeah. He pops the pill when he's talking to Archie and he's like, I'm fine.

So definitely setting up a little bit of a, I guess, a commentary on the opioid epidemic. Tackle that one, Riverdale. Topical Riverdale. We're going to turn it all around. This is what's going to turn the whole business around. I'm sure we'll treat it. Riverdale tackling. Hell yeah.

We'll treat it with dignity and respect or complexity. As Riverdale treats everything. There's one thing this show has, it's dignity. The music in it, though, is amazing. I don't know if they stepped up their game for the second season, although gotta throw it out there. Then my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard scene

was weird. It was, but I was into it. was like you got the rights to calise okay they they obviously have so much more money this season it's so fucking hilarious but also i love it like did did did did did did did it's great it's pretty good yeah yeah yeah it's it's pretty good but come on come on josie pick a lineup you always got you got you got veronica coming in coming out you got Cheryl coming in now and going out again pick a a lineup yeah and i don't know what's going on with that i mean they always sound the same and that's fine. You know I love me some Josie and the pussy cats.

But also, it kept getting this goddamn lollipop song stuck on my head. Lollipop, Lollipopo, la la la. And I was like, stop. Stop it. It's a killer. Why is that his ringtone? Give him a unique ringtone. Give him like, does that make me crazy? That would be fun. I think that was his ringtone because I think it's like the Sugar Man thing. Like, I'm assuming. I don't know. You notice that she also only use the lollipop ringtone in one

episode, maybe two, and then after that they'd stop using it. They stopped doing it? I don't know. It was really annoying me. If Betty specifically chose that song to be the ringtone for the serial killer, that makes me respect Betty 200 times more than I already do. Yeah. She's really badass.

That's a baller move. Yeah. I don't know. I think it's all going to blow up at her face. I just hope there's a threesome. Between the Black Hood, Betty. and Jughead? No, no, no, with the girl from the serpents. Oh, I was thinking that my

brain was going somewhere else. I mean, that's fine, too. I'm fine. As long as I get to watch Betty and Jughead have sex, that's all I care about. We almost did. So close, and they just keep getting so close, and I'm just like, just fuck. Can you please just fuck Archie and

Veronica are fucking all over the place? Come on. They are. They absolutely are. So when do you think the abortion's going to come? Late season two or Season three. Season three. I think it's gonna come. Season three.

Yeah, because they've already done pregnant teen. Yeah. Like, that whole thing's been going on for a while. And by the way, winter the fucking twins gonna be born.

Right? Yeah, right. And I love how they were like, it's twins. And I'm like, you are this pregnant and you did not have an ultrasound yet, you need to.

But also I thought it was really funny when Betty, when Veronica and Archie were like just about to like, fuck really hard. Just like, wait, we have one other thing to do. You can't do that right after.

You're fucking 16 years old It's gonna be 10 seconds Can you imagine grind on somebody Shirts off and be like No no no wait no no no I gotta go do this thing Hell no I'm like gotta get inside of me Right now

You do not leave the bed Although I didn't I didn't totally love how Veronica fucked Archie Right after like when he still had his dad's blood on him I felt like that wasn't a good time Although sometimes people fuck in grief I get that Well that wasn't the first

time. No, but it just seemed like he was in the shower. Let him shower. He was in the shower. It was fine because I know when she kind of like got in and I was like no and I'm okay with it. Yeah. I'd be okay with it. Yeah. Why the fuck not? Yeah. I don't know if I could fuck right after

watching my parent getting shot but I definitely be able to like make out in the shower right after my shower got shot. Come on in. Soap my back. Yes. Make me feel good. Sure. Sure. But I I'm just saying I knew he was going to get mad. I knew he wasn't ready for that. And then he got mad like two seconds later.

He did get mad. He wasn't emotionally ready to fuck yet because he's too stressed about his dad. And I just feel like Veronica needed to give him a little space to shower in his peace, you know. Well, you know, sometimes you don't always know what your partner needs. That's true. But it's the thought that counts. You got to test the waters. Man, I know this didn't even mean anything, but I don't know why.

I kept waiting. So I don't know if you remember when Smithers had to like go be with his mom. Because his mom got together. Yeah, why did Smithers have to suddenly leave? I think that her dad, Veronica's dad, booted him because Smithers knows he's a bad person. Yeah, yeah, that is true. Yeah, but then what about that hot door man? I was waiting for the hot door man to come in and start schmanging on fucking Veronica.

He was a hot dude. Or maybe they just didn't register. Yeah, I don't think that registered. I was waiting. I'm like, where's that door man? Maybe. But that's what happens. When you're horny and alone watching Riverdale for hours, I guess.

every man you see it and you're like fuck that one. Maybe you should fuck that one. I'll fuck that one. Yeah, I got to admit I feel weird I feel weird about how much I enjoying Skeet Ulrich. He's great. He's great. Yeah, he's really good.

Like, not only great but attractive. Oh, yo. Yeah. It's weird. I know, but I still think of the craft and scream and I'm like, I'm just weirded out by it because I was attracted to him then but in like I was scared of him.

Yeah, he haven't met. Matthew Lillard definitely took two different paths from Scream because, like, this year, like, Skeed Ulrich is in Riverdale and Matthew Lillard is in fucking Twin Peaks. So they definitely went two different directions. Yeah. Even though Matthew Lillard still made Scooby-Doo. I had crushes on both of them and scream. Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. But I was always more a skeed Ulrich girl.

You know that. You know it. You know I want him, but now he's just so bad. See, you could still be scared attracted to him and this. Yeah, no, it's true. You know what? You know why I was a Matthew Liller girl? It will be no surprise to anybody

because of SLC punk. Of course. Yes. Well, you also were attracted to Jamie Kennedy. So. I know. I can't bring up scream without owning my shame. There's no revisionist history here.

Forever. I don't forever say it. One more thing about Riverdale, and I just noticed this today. You guys noticed in the promo poster that's like on Netflix and all that. No, did you guys notice the diner sign? behind the characters?

No. Did you notice on the diner sign the N and the R are burnt out? Whoa, it says die on it. Look at that subtle shit right there. Oh, that is so subtle. Duh. So sexy.

Die. Die. And I also have to admit that I did not notice that Veronica was Hispanic at all until her mother called her Meeha in episode 8. It's because they don't do anything with it aside from have the parents call her Meeha sometimes. That's the only thing, which is fine.

But it's just like a, they've literally done, there's no, there's no plot about that other than that the mom calls her Mija. Well, the stuff like, actually like, that's one of the things that I kind of appreciate about the shows that like, like the race stuff and like, you know, like homophobic stuff and things like that. It's like, they admit that's way too complicated for them to tackle. Yeah, but it's there. Like they have queer characters there and it's not like, yeah, I think that they actually do really well. But it's like just super, it's treated like super normal. It's just like, all right, yeah, this is, this is how it is. Totally how it is.

Like Friday Night Lights was good enough to tackle that stuff. Yeah. And talk about that kind of stuff. Riverdale is not good enough and they know it. But it's, but then, yeah, like, it's actually, like, it deals with a lot of those politics stuff really well. And I think it's totally fine that they don't ever like be like. we are Hispanic. They just call her,

Miha, and it's like normal, but they never, you never find any more details about it, which is like, you know, which is fine. But it's just like a, it's, yeah,

it's just like a thing that they do. But no, I agree, they totally make things normal. Like, yeah, here's a gay character who cruises in the woods. But that's what's so great about

is that the sheriff was, like, it didn't even matter. The gay thing didn't even matter. It's just like, don't be cruising in the woods. Like, it's like, no matter who you're fucking. Just like,

don't cruise in the woods. It's great. That's what it should be. Yeah, no, I agree. I think that they actually deal with those things. By not taking them on head on, I feel like it actually makes them like. It normalizes stuff. Yeah, yeah.

It just absolutely normalizes stuff, and that's awesome. But even though like all these problems still exist in America to like a huge degree, they know they're not good enough to tackle it. And they don't. And I appreciate it. Yeah, yeah. I think it's good. Oh, I feel. I feel better now.

Yeah. Yeah. I feel... I finally got to talk to somebody about this stupid fucking show. Because it's just been like me and the... One thing that Carolead does get a kick out of is, like, when I tell her, like, the episode wrap up after, like, I watch an episode. Oh, yeah.

Well. Sit down. Let me tell you what happened to Veronica and Archie this episode because everything's changed since the last time I talked to you. She's like, all right, dear. Tell me all about it. I tried to get, I kept going into the living room last night and yelling at Henry Natalie about jingle jangle.

And then at the end, I was like trying to get Henry and Natalie to be into it. And I was just like, there's a serial killer. And I think you'll like it. And I was like, no, I'll never watch it. You're a fud dud. You're fucking footy dund. Yeah, stop being a fud dud, Henry. Come on.

I, watch it. I've mentioned it a couple times on last podcast, and he is fudding me out. every single time. Who does he think he is? Does he funting you out, bro? He's totally funn't me out. Dude, I'm getting all budded over here. Henry Fudds the Browns,

he's going to love his new nickname. That's all we got to have for it on today's page seven. Thank you all very much for listening. We'll be back next week with the wrap up of this week's Riverdale. And other news as well. And other news as well. for the next 12 weeks we're gonna have our Riverdale wrap up so the three of us are gonna have to be pretty fucking we're gonna have to be pretty on point yeah we're up because is it we can't spoil each other we can't do that no we're all caught up we're all together we're in it we're in it to win it baby all right talk to you next week oh bye