Page 7 - Episode 239: Nilla Wafer

Episode Date: February 1, 2018

Jackie, Molly & Marcus catch you up on the Grammys and discuss the most annoying song of 2018 and celebrities related to royalty. Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Guys, I have the worst song stuck in my head. I've had it stuck in my head for about five days, and I think that it's following me. Because it's a remix to ignition. No. I'm all rolling that body. Got every man in here wishing. Tiping on coke and rum.

I'm not so drunk. It's a freaking weekend, baby. It's a hell to listen to this. Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce. It will not leave my husband. head and I haven't heard that song in so long for some reason to pop back into my head and I was out last night at a bar and it started playing for the first time in eight years where have you heard that song played in public in the past 10 years and I'm worried I'm like am I going to

get pissed on soon is that what that means you know it's a shame because R. Kelly's a pisser that used to be a song that I really enjoyed for drunkenness and like put it on the party mix you know and And now it's absolutely, R. Kelly is fucking unforgivable. He should have been shot into space, you know, a while ago, and he still seems like he's doing okay. And so now, you know, we can't put remix to our ignition on our playlist anymore, rightfully so. But at first I experienced that as a loss. I really liked that song.

Well, not at the bar I was at last night. They don't seem to care. But he, was he, did he piss on people without their consent? Oh, it was a 14-year-old. Ah, that is the rub. Yes, yes, very much without consent. Ah, in several ways. Yes, he is a very bad, bad.

I don't know why I always remember the pissed part of the story and not the 14-year-old part of the story. I think the piss part got more play, as pissed as wants to do, you know. People love a good piss story. People do love a good piss story. But she was a child. Yeah, that's the especially bad part. That's rough, huh?

So I shouldn't be singing this song all over the place. Definitely not. Again, I did, I feel for anybody who had to grieve that song, I used to, in circa 2007, I put it on all my mixes, but. I mean, it's a great song. The times are changing. But the video came out in 2002. I was behind the times, I think, in 2007.

We've always been behind the time. That's what's amazing about it is that the video came out in 2002 and Ignition was like 2004 or 2005. He skated. Yeah. He had a lot of longevity, though. People loved that song. There's so much about like that shit that people just get skated over with people love that song. Yeah.

People love it the more than they hate peeing on a child. Well, I'm sorry, guys. and I hope that it's not stuck in your head, but I felt the need that I needed to say it out loud to someone. Because you know when it's just like going around and around in circles and I just don't know what to do with myself? Mm-hmm. Now, I get that way.

My song of that, of course, it's same one everyone's had for the last year's Despacito. Oh, yeah. That's the one that gets stuck. I fucking hate that song. It gets stuck in my head at interopportune times for no fucking reason, and it just makes me mad. It has definitely been in my head since Sunday and the Grammys. I'm walking around my house being like,

disbosito. Like, I cannot help it. It is just in there. It's such a bad song. I'm so glad it didn't win anything because it doesn't deserve anything. Oh, I see, I'm totally in the other camp. I'm like, it was, I mean, one thing that I thought was kind of fun about it was that it was the first time in the 60-year history of the Grammys ever that a song

has been sung in Spanish at a performance. All right. So that's kind of neat. All right, that's nice. I guess, I shouldn't say. enjoy the song, I just find it very annoying. I know, technically, that makes it a perfect pop song. Right.

If you can't get it out of your head, that's, that's the point. That's the thing. I feel like it, it, I feel like my annoying, like, I feel like it's as annoying as, like, the Bruno Mars song, honestly, the champagne on ice. Like, I just, hey. Hey, hey, I love, I, I enjoy a Bruno Mars song, but it's like, poppy, you know, like, it gets in your head, you know, like, and I'll dance. I'll, I like, when I, when I hear Despacito, I don't feel annoyance.

as much as I feel like, ooh, I'm getting into this. And that's how I feel about Bruno Mars, but then later I'm annoyed because it won't leave my head, you know. Yeah, the other song that also gets stuck in my head pretty hard is the one the best pop solo performance is Shape of You, which I did not know. That song. I actually did not, because I know that song, of course,

and I've known that song for fucking months. I did not know that was Ed Shearing. That's like the only song I know of Ed Shearing. I had no idea. That was Ed Shearing. I didn't even know what Ed Shearin did. I just knew that song existed and then it got stuck in my fucking head

I didn't know that was Ed Shear And now I know for a fact that I hate Ed Shear That's a pop song I actually hate Despicito actually If that comes on I'm not like Ah like I actually like I kind of like it They occupy the exact same space in my head So okay that's fair

Like I am much more in the realm of enjoying Despacito I shouldn't have said that at Bruno Mars I enjoy Bruno Mars It's just like it gets you know He gets in your head and he's everywhere but shape of you I fucking hate that song I think it's bullshit

I find I find Ed Sheeran completely intolerable Yes There is something I don't know if it just It includes the way he looks Includes the way he holds himself

He wasn't at the Grammys And everybody booed him When he won He wasn't there You're gonna make me listen to that song all year You can't show up with the fucking Grammys The all of the other songs On that fucking list were way

better than that song. And they were all done by women, which is the whole thing of the whole thing right now. Yeah. Alessia Curry was, I think, the only woman to win anything. And Kesha's song should have won over fucking Ed Sheeran any day. That song was so good. Yeah, but also, Lady Gaga's million reasons.

I will cry every time I listen to it. Every single time I listen to it, I cry. I love that song. I actually love that sign. It's a fucking great song. Yeah, I'm all right with that too. Right. Like, anybody could have won over Ed Shearin.

Yes, because it was Kelly Clarkson, Cashot, Lady Gaga, Pink, and Ed Shearin. I love all of the other women in that way more than fucking Ed Shearin. Yeah. Yeah, fuck Ed Shearin. Yeah, I felt my, yeah, my takeaway from the Grammys, I did enjoy Despacito. I was fine with Bruno Mars winning everything, although I wanted Kendrick to win everything. I didn't think he should have won everything, though. It was the same thing as last.

year where it's like it's the same people that win everything but then he even won best rmbi album it's like give that to somebody else like this is pop music it's not rmb i at least what i consider the different categories right like even if childish gambino had won like right mix it up right like at least kendrick did win for best rap song and best uh rap what else the other thing that kendrick won for i feel like he should have won for best album but if even if he hadn't any again and the other people. Like, I like Bruno Mars. I don't dislike Bruno Mars.

I always have a good time when his songs are on, but I just feel like he's not the most, in terms of, like, being an artist or, like, I just don't think he's the most interesting artist. He's fun, and I really like that song that he does with Cardi B. That is fun as hell. See, I think that he is a fun performer.

He's definitely of the closest caliber to a Michael Jackson that we will have in our generation, for sure. Bruno Mars? Yeah. With the different styles, I know, that's what I mean. I'm not saying it. Like, he is not Michael Jackson. He never will be.

He's nowhere near Michael Jackson. But that's the closest, at least of what I know, of like huge pop music that we're going to get. Oh, but you know what? Speaking of Michael Jackson, you know who that little boy was who went on stage with Childish Gambino? That is the little boy who is the voice of Simba in the upcoming Lion King movie. And he sounded a lot, not exactly, but he sounded a lot like a young Michael Jackson. And it sounded fucking awesome. I can't argue with that.

It had me very, very excited. It's going to be really great. You know that Bruno Amar's song? You know how many people took to write that song? Nine. Nine people wrote that song. But on the other hand, you know, Despozito? You know how many of that took?

One, two, three, four, five, six people. And you know who one of those writers was? Justin Bieber. Yeah. Yeah. He's there. Yeah, he's in there. He's in there.

He's in the song. Yeah, but he was one of the writers. I was glad he wasn't in the performance. I actually don't hate Justin Bieber, but I was glad that he did not perform with Despacito. I feel like that was not his moment. And one of the other writers of that song, Jason Poo Bear Boyd.

Do we know him from elsewhere? No, I just want to say Poo Bear. Yeah, yeah. I have a weird controversial stance. I really loved the praying. Have you guys seen the clip of Kesha's praying? Oh my God. The song is very powerful.

It's very moving. I love Kesha. You know I love Kesha. Love Kesha. And it's like Cindy Lopper's on stage. There was a bunch of other like empowered women on stage singing with her. But she didn't sing it. Well, is that?

Am I? Is it? just me? I don't, I get, I really enjoyed it. I don't know like the original recording super well, so I don't know how different it sounded, but I really enjoyed it. I enjoyed like live performance.

I did not see it. I think that she was just, I think she was just really fucking nervous. Yeah. Which I get. But like, and I'm glad that I feel like I haven't seen too much of like people shitting on it, but it's like she couldn't, it was,

like, because I've listened to the album a lot, and I love that song, and I was just like, oh, this song is not, This is not how she usually sings. She sings a lot better than this. But I think that she was just really nervous. And it's sad because it's like it's playing everywhere. And it's just like, it's not what she sounds like.

Interesting. Yeah. See, I don't know that. Like I've heard that song, but I don't know it well. So I didn't have like a compare, I didn't have like the original kind of in my head to compare it to. But I was just like, I was kind of swept up in the whole thing, the whole performance and the whole presentation and like all the women stepping forward. Like having the men and back like playing the instruments and the women all. all stepping forward together and like all like grabbing hands and stuff by the end I was like

oh of course it was very moving yeah it was so so good and while we're talking about the live performances can I just say Rihanna man man oh man never before have I wanted to fuck Rihanna as much as on Sunday night and that kind of makes me want to look it up then yeah you should yeah she is I mean even if you just find a picture or a gif of her in this and her her live performance, the dress she was wearing. She's like, I guess people are like on her case for having gained weight or whatever. She looks fantastic. She looks fantastic.

I'm watching her laying on a piano right now. Huh. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, she's definitely gained a little bit of weight, but all it's making her is curvy and beautiful and a goddess. Not that she wasn't before, but now it's just like, you imagine just like pumping it into her? Yes. I just want to touch her. Like looking at her makes me want to touch her.

I mean, she'll never top 2014. 2014 was the sheer dress. You remember that one? Let me, I'm just going to refresh Molly's memory on this one. Oh, yeah. I had forgotten. Oh, how short our memories are. My friends and I had just been in a debate

because we were doing a would you rather Beyonce or Rihanna, and everyone chose Rihanna. And I was so stunned. I was like, you're really all going to choose Rihanna over Beyonce. and I was like bringing this up to air my grievance as Rihanna came onto the stage in that dress. And I was like, all right. Yeah, I'm going Rihanna. I get it.

Every day of the week, I'm going Rihanna. Yeah. Yeah. Because she seems like she'd be more fun. That's, yeah, that's what some people said to. Like, you get high with Rihanna. Yeah. Like, Beyonce is so, like, poised.

Yeah, it's like Rihanna seems like it'd be, like, really casual and fun. And we're just going to kind of explore each other. You know, we're just got to have a good. top grab a good Saturday night but like Beyonce like I'd feel very nervous the entire time and I got I feel like she'd be chastising me and telling me I'd be doing everything wrong instead of just you know gently guiding me to a good place I got a feeling like Beyonce just wouldn't be any fun at all I think the song Drunken Love has made me really want to fuck meonce specifically though because it's such a narrative of her fucking and it sounds so nice that it makes me I've been thinking about what it'd be like to fuck Beyonce

ever since that song came out. Maybe I'm judging. Maybe I'm being judgy here. I feel you. I think Destiny's child era, Beyonce, definitely. For sure. I think she was probably a lot more fun back then. Young. Yeah, yeah, yeah, before all the business came in. Yes. Now she's

too poised. I mean, poised to the fact that, like, or like to the point that did you see like the whole thing with Christy Teigen or Chrissy Teigen when she was leaving? Because she's pregnant as fuck. And she's a big party girl. It was John Legend's wife. And she's they left the Grammys early

because she was like, I can't drink, I don't want to be here anymore, basically. She was done, and she's really pregnant at this point. And she went to go leave and she was going to go say hi to Beyonce because she had never really met her before. And she said she was so nervous to talk to her. And this is Chrissy Teague we're talking about.

That she went over to her and like grabbed her hands and like bowed to her really uncomfortably while like John Legend like high five, Jay-Z as they're walking out. And she was like, it was so uncomfortable. I, like, bowed to her as if she was a queen. And what am I doing?

Like, she's like completely beat herself the fuck up over it. But isn't that... But that's to what's so funny about that story is that that's interesting... That's a reflection of how Beyonce makes us feel. It's not actually an indication of how Beyonce herself acts. It's not like Beyonce said, you must bow to be.

But we feel that we must bow to her. Meanwhile, she's sitting there with like, because Blue Ivy came to the Grammys, they're sitting there with snacks and juice boxes for her. So it's like they're just people. At the end of the day, they're just people. They're just like us.

No, no, they're just like us. No, I would say my life is very similar. Any other millionaire is just like us. Stars are just like us. I've got my Garfield. I hate Monday's shirt on and I am just like Beyonce. Did you find Rihanna this year though, Marcus? You see how breathtaking.

She looks great. Yeah. But 2014, man. That's just, she looks great this year, yes. Yeah. But 2014 is the year, that's the year of Rihanna. But don't worry, guys. Lord didn't perform, but you two snuck in there.

Twice. Twice. You two performed? Two times. I mean, Bono was there two times. What do those guys have over the music industry? I don't know. Like, why didn't Lord perform, and why was Bono there twice?

So you know that I'm obsessed with Lord currently, right? So I was looking this up because I love her so much, and they offered her to sing, like with the Tom Petty tribute. They wanted her to sing American Girl. And she's like, but I'm from New Zealand. So she said no. And then they're like, well, we asked her and she said no. They wouldn't let her sing her own song,

and all they would allow her to sing was American Girl. That's weird. Yeah, also... She's not American! I felt a little... I'm curious to hear your guys' thoughts on this. I felt a little bit weird about... They had a tribute to the gun massacre victims in Las Vegas

and what was the other recent mass shooting. I don't even remember now. But what they sang was the song Tears in Heaven by Eric Clapton. And I just... Thank you, Jackie. I just feel like singing a song that is a very specific... to a very specific person that everybody knows the story of that song.

And in fact... Babies out the window. Not to get too political. Babies out. There are regulations about window guards now, you know? Much more than there are regulations about fucking guns.

But anyway, that's such a specific song. Everybody hears that song and thinks about a child falling out the window. And then to sing it for this other tragedy, it just did not feel right. And I love that song. but it just felt like a bit of a shoehorn, you know? Yeah. And also, that song's so, it's like parody now.

Like, it's so, it's like cheese to the point of, like, being my friends, even in high school, like, we used it when something supposedly sad, we'd have one just go, wouldn't be my name. If I saw you live on. Yeah, it is, it is a parody song at this point. Of all the songs that they could have picked, I feel like it was like they did it last minute. They're like, I don't know, what's a sad one?

A sad song about death. Slap it up there. Put some guitars up there. I don't know. Yeah, like, I was joking. Like, it would be like if they played candle in the wind for the Las Vegas. That's about somebody's specific death. Like, you know, if they play it, they're like, this song is for the Las Vegas victim.

You'd be like, no, it's not. Yeah, and it's like, that's the thing. Would you know my name? Like, who is my name? like, who is me? Who is the narrator in this? Like, who was singing the song? Would they say, like, would you know Chris Stapleton if he went to heaven?

Yeah, they, it was, it was like, yeah, it was so well-meaning, but such to me, it was a real swing and a miss. Yeah. It was rough. Yeah, there was, there was a lot. The tributes do swing in a miss sometimes. Like, the David Bowie tribute a couple years ago was a huge swing and a miss. Yeah. Because one of the guitarist was playing out of a key.

the entire time. It was either one of the guitarists was playing out of key or one of the singers was singing out of key. It was all very hastily put together. Uh-huh. I mean, I guess they only had a few weeks between the Grammys and David Bowie's death because David Bowie died in January.

And Bowie's hard to do a tribute to... Extremely difficult. To do justice anyway. But, yeah, I feel like, right, it's, you know... Yeah, it was like... yeah, I guess because it was a concert, oh, because it was a concert,

that was why they were doing it at the Grammys that last year, yeah, yeah, that was the whole thing. And maybe it was also Manchester must have been. So it, that part made some sense, but it just, it was, right, it felt not thought through. Totally. Yeah, the whole, I just, I thought that there was such a huge level of uncomfortability

about this entire Grammys, especially the fact that, like, no women won, and they were trying to do all this, like, step up thing. And it's like, that, like, the Grammy, like the head of Grammy, He's like, oh, women need to step up. It's just like, dude, not right now. Can you save those sentiments for like a year from now?

My God. Yeah. Very uncomfortable. Also, no one watched it. It had the lowest ratings in a decade. Really? Yeah. No one gave you shit.

Interesting. Yeah, I mean, I watched it after the fact just because I was like, eh, yeah, I'll get there. I love that logic song of the suicide prevention number. That is a good one. I loved that. I loved Kendrick's performance at the beginning. That was just, like, amazing. And I loved Rihanna's performance.

And then the rest is completely unmemorable. Also, unmemorable is what is going to be next week's Super Bowl performance by one Justin Timberlake. Is it Janet Jackson supposed to be a part of this? She is not allowed. She is banned from the Super Bowl. Which is very unfair if he's allowed back, and she's not, in my opinion. Yeah, wasn't he the one that ripped it off? Yeah.

Yeah. He should be banned. If anybody's banned. Yeah, but it was her titty. They should both be banned. Yeah, if anybody's banned, or nobody should be banned, because that was, you know, that was ultimately fine. You will be able to perform at the Super Bowl if you remove your left breast. Your left breast is not allowed in.

It's not our fault. You may reattach it after the performance is through. Just put some Velcro on it. It's fine. It's just weird because, like, the parents' television council sent this open letter to Justin Timberlake being like, please, please, please make it appropriate for children. It's like, of course he's going to make it appropriate for children. Of course it's not going to fucking happen again because now it's old hat.

That was in 2004. Come on. Get over it. This is going to be so boring. Like, we're not going to get, like, we're never going to get another Illamonati ritual like we did with Madonna. Oh, my God. With all the cum everywhere? I love that.

That was so great. That was so much fun. Yeah. And now it's just, what was it? When did the red hot chili peppers come out? Was that last year or the year before last? Oh my God. I can't.

That was the year before because it was just, it was just Gaga last year. Wasn't she all alone? Oh, yes. It was just Gaga. And it was Bruno Mars the year before with the red hot chili peppers. Yes, that's right. Yeah.

That's when it didn't make sense. Yeah. That was the one. One of the oddest moments in Super Bowl halftime history. Yeah. It's just like, excuse me? Why did the run out of cheer? Give it away.

All right. Yeah, whereas, like, I was excited for Katie Perry. Of course, was excited for Beyonce. Excited anytime. Wasn't it the Who recently? No. Yeah, that was garbage, though. Come on.

Yeah. Any kind of big, epic experience. And I like JT. I like sexy back. I like his new, you know. He's fine. He's fine. But he's just fine.

Yeah, he's, I'm not, I'm not going to, like, tune in for him, you know. No. No. And also, his new album, I've been listening to it. and I like old JT don't get me wrong but the problem is that he's like putting out these videos that are trying to be like saying something but it's like dude you're a rich white guy

you can't do this shit like it's not for you yeah right as we said to Jughead Doug this is not your story to tell it's not your story to tell this is nothing to fucking do with you dude you can't do it this like Molly you have to watch the supplies video I watched the whole thing and I was just like oh god Stop.

Okay, I'll watch it. Because I don't know any of JT's new work. I'm totally stuck in like circa 2007 to 2009 JT's work, you know. You know what? Stay there. Yeah. You don't want it.

It's so boring. It's all exactly the same. Yeah. Yeah. It makes me very sad because I do like JT. Yeah. No, I guess we're not going to really. I mean, maybe something weird will happen.

I doubt it. I think this Super Bowl all in all, just overall is going to be pretty boring. Uh-huh. Yeah, I don't think. I think maybe we'll get some weird. commercials, ooh, maybe we'll get a new Clint Eastwood commercial. Oh, and we'll probably get some real stumbling political commercials.

That's what I can. Oh, my God. I cannot wait for the weird political commercials to fall flat on their fucking face. Yeah, just from every direction, like Trump political, Me Too political, just missing the mark on all levels because they're all going to be commercials and they can't be that good. Oh, that's going to be rough. I had not even thought of that. It's going to be awesome. It's going to be woke is what it's going to be. It's going to be sadly woke. A lot of hashtags.

Except for the Chris Pratt, he did like a little teaser of his Mickelope commercials that are going to be playing, which I think it's just going to be him shirtless drinking mccalob multiple times throughout the Super Bowl. And you know what? Hell, I'll watch it for that. You know what I'm really excited about is the teaser that's coming out about the Danny DeVito Eminem commercials that's just Danny DeVito wearing shorts

in a large vat of chocolate because he's the M&M. I love Dainty to Bino They're so gross Yeah that's fine That's They're super gross I'm like you know what M&M's

Yeah That's the escapism that we need right now Yeah I like that I'm afraid that there's good Yeah I just like I feel like It's I can't It's gonna be like Beer commercials trying to be like

You know basically like If you don't like it tell me Like you're like Don't use alcohol as a tool to assault people But do drink a lot of it You know, we just don't need that. I can't wait for the Shira Bud with your neighbor. Yeah.

That commercial's definitely coming. Oh, and they're all going to be. It's like, oh, this one's a Muslim and this one is a priest. What? It's going to be so much. It's like, just shut up. Just fucking shut up. I want puppy monkey baby.

Poppy monkey baby. I want the return of puppy monkey baby. Where is puppy monkey baby? And if I see any of those, what is it, Dilly Dilly, bullshit? We're going to see the climax of Dilly Dilly Dilly. Well, remember last year, Budweiser had those commercials that were like, your beer is delivered by immigrants.

And then, like, the next day, Budweiser was like, we didn't mean anything political by that. So it's like, they don't even have the balls to be like, yeah, immigrants are good. Like, they're just like, oh, nope, if that seemed like a message, we're just trying to tell you to drink beer, yeah. Don't look over here.

Don't worry about us. So I guess that is the thing is that dilly-dilly is the, it's the least political thing you could possibly make about a beer because it makes no sense. And it's very annoying. Yes. I was back in Florida and everyone there loves it. If the commercial comes on, everyone goes like,

Dilly Dilley-Dill. It made me want to blow my brains out. Yeah, I don't think I remember the Dilly Dilly Dilly thing. Dilly Dilly is just, it's a newish thing where, like, these Budweiser commercials where it's like a medieval times thing and they all just go Dilly, dilly. And they raise their glasses to each other. It's like saying cheers or something. And it's caught on with the kids. Yikes.

That's it. That's all it is. The whole thing. Give me the frogs. Give me Wazah. I will take any of them except for Dilly Dilly. There's just. I don't know why it's burrowed a hole in my brain right next.

It's like nestled next to remix to ignition. And they're sitting in there and they have a little party. And a little party just eating my brain like I got mad cow disease. Just like a raise to mediocrity in your brain. Yes, exactly. I've been pretty largely immune from Dilly Dilly Dilly Dilly. I haven't had bad. Dilly Dilly hasn't made its way into my head.

Really? Not even, I thought you watch your like your cable shows, your, your network. things. No, they don't do dilly-dilly on me TV or buzzer. The game, like the network game show network, uh, like the game show network that you get on the antenna. They don't do, like, Budweiser does not buy ad space. Like, it's more like, is your catheter doing what it should be doing? Like, it's, I'm Alex Trebek for health insurance. Like, it's, that's the kind of commercials I see. Fair enough. All right. I'll give that to you. I just keep staring at these pictures of Jamie Fox and Katie Holmes

before the Grammys. Did you see these? Yeah, why was she there? She presented a Grammy. Yeah, I don't know why. I think they were just like, hey, why don't we put them in the limelight because they don't want to talk about their relationship? Yeah, and they look really cute together.

You know, yeah, good for her. And the fact that she presented a Grammy, I was fine with it, but I was just deeply confused because I was like, not only are you not a musician, I'm not even sure what you've done any acting in recently. Hmm. I don't think she's done anything recently. Or maybe is she coming out with something?

I guarantee you she's coming out with something. Yeah. Her agent's got to be that. But hasn't she spent the last several years she's trying to extricate herself from that relationship? From the Damie Box relationship? No, from the Tom Cruise. Hasn't she been dealing with custody battles

and the Scientology Church trying to kill her and all that? Oh, she's got three movies coming out this year. Really? Yeah. Dear Dictator, Oceans 8, and Doorman. but that's in pre-production. Interesting. But yeah, she's an Ocean's...

Oh, that's right. Oh, yeah. Oceans 8 is the all-women Ocean's 11, right? I don't know how I feel about that. Time's up. I guess it's what... I mean, that's the thing, though.

It's like that, it's just like, it's sometimes hard to where it's like, all right, well, cool you, like, you don't need it. It's like, now only the women. And I'm saying this as a female actress. I just see, it's like, I guess, I mean, it's good for me,

but also it's like, but if you don't want to put me in this, like, you don't have to. Like, if it makes a better movie to have someone else do it, you could do that, too. Yeah, I mean, maybe it'll be great. I just feel like I don't, I feel like there's a lot of gestures towards change when the institutions themselves aren't changing, and that's what annoys me, you know. I kind of look at Ocean's 8, and I'm like, cool. Yeah.

I mean, all right. I never saw any of the Oceans movies, so I'm not going to watch this. I have no strong feelings. Exactly. I also won't see this one. No strong feelings about any of the Oceans movies. And, you know, like, right, are the, is it, are there female direction? directors and producers and writers. In that case, I would be pretty safe.

In another case, it might just be a marketing thing, you know. But again, if they're cast in women, that's good for actresses. But don't worry, Matt Damon's in it. So if you missed him in the Tiny Man movie, you can catch him in Ocean's Eight. Why does Matt Damon get to be in it if it's an all-female Ocean's 8? That guy needs to take a break. Oh, he's fine. I just feel like he needs to have a seat for just a few minutes and then come back.

You know what it is? He's the nilla wafers of people. Because I love a nila wafers. Don't get me wrong. I can eat about five nilifers. But when I hit that sixth nilifers, it's bland. I need an Oreo now.

Well, I think he is like a nilofer, but I think with Matt Damon, you got to put him in some banana pudding. See, if you put the nilof wafers into a banana pudding, then you can eat eight or nine or maybe even 10 nilofers. You are very right. You're right. And then you let him soak in there because then it's about the journey to your mouth.

The banana pudding, in this case, it's like a good script. Like saving Private Ryan. Yeah, or like the talented Mr. Ripley. Yeah, yeah. But if it's just him on his own, you're like, stop talking. Stop talking. Also, he was really fun in 30 Rock. It's like he's fun when he's put in a good environment.

Interstellar, he was great in that. Yeah. Yes. I just don't want to see Tiny Man movie. I refuse to see Tiny Man movie. Yes, he's definitely. And, you know, I'll take him over Ben Affleck any day. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, I'll take Matt Damon over Ben Affleck. If Matt Damon's a nilla way for Ben Affleck is like, you know, one of those cookies that is called break time that comes in boxes that costs like $1.25. I would actually put him more like the cookies you get in the 10, the old lady cookies. Yeah. Yeah, but the pretzel one, because that's the best one. Yeah, right. Like a shortbread cookie. Plain butter cookie.

Although I got to say, I'd rather get drunk with Ben Affleck than get drunk with Matt Damon because I feel like that would be more of a fun time. No, Matt Davin, or Ben Affleck's going to get weird at the end of the night. Yeah, exactly. I know. I know. That's what I would like. He's going to cry. He's going to talk about his insecurities and he's going to cry.

I think Matt Damon's going to be more fun and more. I think he's just going to be chill throughout the night. And then at the end of the night, like when you get weird, he's going to be like, ah, right. I'm going to get out. I got to get up early. I'll see you later. And he's not going to make you feel weird for getting weird. Yeah.

He's just going to leave. I guess that's true. I just feel like he's like a one or two drinker, whereas Ben Affleck and I would just like rage for three days. He wouldn't see the kids. And he'd come back and it's just like, I married her. And I'd be like, I didn't want to, but I didn't. 2018!

Yeah, but you like getting drunk and getting weird with people. I do. Yeah. Yeah, getting drunk with, when, you know, kind of agreeing to air out your demons together can be a fun drinking experience. Yeah, it can be. Yeah, and also recently they showed that he's got a big tramp stamp. He was on a motorcycle and his shirt rode up and he's got a tramp stamp of something. And, you know, I got to find out what that tramp stamp is.

I don't know. I don't know if I've ever met a man with a tramp stamp. Maybe it's Batman's face. You think so? Because he was so insecure. Marcus, would you get a tramp stamp? No. Of course not.

Are you kidding me? I mean, there's a very long article about his possible tramp stamp. I cannot tell at all what it is. It's new. I'm showing it to, wait. Yeah, I can't show it to Molly. It looks like a feather of some kind. but it's not centered right above the butt crack.

It's more off to the left. Is it like the type of symbol where he definitely just went into the tattoo parlor and looked in a book of meaningful symbols? And he got flashed. And he picked one that means like creativity. No. It looks kind of like maybe it could be like a peacock or an amoeba. Yeah.

Possibly some sort of plant. David Beckham has a tramp stamp, though. I mean, that's, you know, yeah, sure. I'm sure that looks great on him. You know, men, like, if a man has, like, a nice lower back, that's a nice area of their body. A male tramp stamp could look great. Is it still called a tramp stamp on a man, though? Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, that's equal. Equality. Is that real? Wait, are you looking at the same list, Marcus, that Jake Gyllenha has a Steelers tramp stamp? Yeah, he's got a Pittsburgh Steelers tramp stamp. What? That's really weird.

That's so weird. That's really weird. Why does he have that? Oh, that would... Still bang him. I mean, it's definitely still bang him. I feel like I would take off a shirt, look at it, and be like, huh? Steelers, huh?

Well, that's a choice. Steelers I don't like, but the more I'm imagining these hot not Ben Affleck, the other hot men with tramp stamps, David Beckham and Jake Gyllenhaal, I think I'm kind of into it. I think I can imagine it's looking into it. Yeah, I guess I'm into it. You know, men have nice backs. If they have a nice back. If they have a nice back.

If they have a nice back. does not have a nice back. That's the whole thing. Yeah, he's just kind of a lunk. Yeah, he's in a rough spot. He's just like a big lump. But then there's all these pictures of him just like chain smoking cigarettes, just like walking with his ex and his kids.

And it's like, dude, maybe you just need to go on vacay for a long time. He's known for that. He goes on many of vacay. He shows up in the blind items a lot as a vacay man, going back and forth, in and out. He's got a problem. Well, yeah, they keep shipping them off to rehab, too, but it turns out it's not sticking.

No, it's not sticking at all. All right, it's time for Blind Adams. Ah, we can't see them. Y'all are on point with that now. We're connected. Celebrities who are related to real royalty. Ooh, chin chin. Angelina Jolie is related to the Duchess of Cornwall, Camilla Parker Bowles.

She definitely carries herself as someone that is related to a Duchess. Does that mean that John Voight is all? also related. That's my question. Yeah. Or maybe it's her mom's side, though. Maybe it's on the mom's. I hope so.

I just don't want John Voigt to be proximate to anything. I got to feel like that if John Voigt was related to the royal family, he would have said something by now. I think that's right. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Beyonce. She is Queen Elizabeth II's 12th cousin once removed.

Wow. Maybe that's why she's so poised. Interesting. That 12th cousin. blood. 12th cousin once removed, what does that mean? Once removed means a generation. So like your

parent's cousin is, as far as I understand it, is once removed. Your grandparents' first cousin is your first cousin once removed. Your grandparents' first cousin is your first cousin twice removed. So you can fuck those cousins? I don't know where the fucking...

I think you can technically fuck any cousin past first cousin. Oh, okay. Yeah. Cool. And it's fine-ish. Asking for a friend. Once you get to third cousin, you're totally in the clear.

Oh, cool. But fucking your parents' first cousin is going to be a bad deal. Or even fucking the kids of your parents' first cousin is probably going to be a bad deal. Yeah, at this point, you're also talking about skipping generations, which is like, you know, it could be okay if you're all adults, but it's also, it's a big, that's a generation is a number of years. Unless you're pulling an R. Kelly, then it's not good. Yes, then it's not okay. But if it's your parents' first cousins, like kids' kid, that might be fine. I think that's what means second cousins.

Right. I think that second cousins are when you're in the generation, the same generation, but it's like your cousins' kids and stuff, I think. I'm not totally sure. But I remember being able to remember that once removed means generation, which makes sense. So, yeah, second cousins, you can probably, your first adult parents' first cousins, kids, you can probably fuck them. Yeah. You totally. Man.

Yeah. When you look it up, though, you get some, you get some hits on here. If you look up, can you have sex with your cousin once removed? I guess you can't. You can't. You can't. Again, they are going to be your parents' age. Because you might have zero genes in common, but you might have, you might not. So it's a crapshoot.

Yeah. Hmm. Wow, there's a lot of people that are attracted to their first cousins once removed. I think when in doubt, don't do it. Say no. When in doubt, when it comes to fucking your cousins, just cool it. Air on the side of caution. Anyway.

Madonna also has family ties to Camilla Parker Bowles. Wow, all of these elegant people. Is it bowls or bowels? It has to be bowls. It's definitely bowls. It's definitely bowls. You're like, you know what? just answered my own question.

Yeah, just totally, yeah. Camilla Parker bowels. Johnny Depp is also Queen Elizabeth the second's cousin. Yuck. 20 times removed. Yuck. Whoa.

At that point, are you technically related, though? It's not the same. Yeah, 20 times, please. I guess it's somewhat connected. Somewhat. 20 times removed. Does that mean 20 generations? I think, no, I think,

20 times removed. I have no idea. And I will never figure this out for as long as I live. I know that for a fact. That's okay. Is it a vertical time leap or is it a lateral, like a horizontal leap like... Queen Elizabeth is still alive, so I guess it's lateral.

Must be lateral. Tom Hanks is a cousin of Prince William and Prince Harry. Oh, that's what we didn't talk about. Tom Hanks is going to be Mr. Rogers. Oh, yeah. I think that's going to be a heartworm and tale. I'm a little bit skeptical, too, but I'm scared. I'm scared. I want it to be,

I want it to be very good. I want it to be very good too, and I do like Tom Hanks a lot. I think he's great, but I'm, I'm scared because Mr. Rogers is so important. Sacred. And sacred. And I think that he's more, what I'm more, I know we are almost out of time. We can say maybe this more for next week, but it's more, he's not just a nice guy. I don't want it to just be that Tom Hanks plays him as a nice guy. Yeah, he's much more than that. He's much more than that. He's magic and I'm worried that Tom Hanks is not going to be magic enough. I'm a little worried. People were very happy and I want people to feel happy but I am scared. I just want them, I just want the movie to have Mr. Fred Rogers, Mr. Smith goes to Washington moment because it's beautiful. Yeah. Have you ever seen

you ever heard his speech that he gave in support of public television? I think I've only heard it once. I think I want to go home and watch it. Go back. Check it out. It's beautiful. But that's what John and I were talking about this recently. He said, who do you think should play Mr. Rogers and who should do it, but if we had gone back in time, it should have been Jimmy Stewart. Yeah, of course. He's the only person. Oh, yeah.

That's who should have done it. He would have been able to do it. I just, yeah, I think, and you know how I feel about Tom Hanks. I love him more than I love myself. But I just, yeah, I don't know. I think he's too bubble gum. Yeah, yeah, that's exactly right. Because Mr. Rogers was a little weird.

Yeah, he wasn't totally normal. Yeah, he was an odd man. Yeah. Because he had to be. Yeah, he's like a little like ethereal. He played with puppets every day. All right, it's time for blind items. Ah, we can't see him.

This Hollywood nanny has worked for some of the biggest celebrities in the world, but she describes the high-profile children of this A-list couple as by far the worst she's ever looked after. Says the nanny, entitled, spoiled, and rude. And she claims most celebrity kids are usually, to our surprise, Quite good. She predicts these kids will grow into, quote, just the worst adults.

Kim Ye. No. There's a lot of them. There's like five of them. The Jolie Pitt kids? The Jolie Pitt kids. Really? You know, I think it's especially with the fact that, like,

Brad Pitt was so bad for so long, that they probably just let them run amok and on top of the fact that, like, it's the whole, like, adopted versus non-adopted kids. That they probably just let them run, fucking wild. Yeah. Yeah, there's a lot of tumult in that house. Yes, much tumult. Very tumultuous.

Can have a toll on the children. Yeah. So, yeah, it's possible that we'll be seeing some scandals here in a few years. Oh, especially as they get older, too. Oh, what are those kids going to fucking do? Yeah, that's a shame. Good Lord. The other item I got, this is a spy item. This is actually

got a little bit of intrigue to it. This former almost A-minus list, mostly movie actress, turned escort, is hiding out in the U.S. because she stole a painting from one of her clients. Now she's hoping another client will pay off the victim client so she can go back overseas

and make some more money. A minus movie. Interesting. A minus movie. But she's not American? She's American. And she was a big actress for a long time, but she has been yachting for quite a few years now. Are we talking Lilo?

We're talking Lilo. She's stealing paintings. Remember she stole that jewelry a few months ago? Oh, yeah. She's going to get fucking ganked. She does not watch her ass. She's stealing a painting. I don't usually like talking about the Kardashians,

but it was pretty funny that Kim got those, like, crazy braids. Everyone, like, flipped out. They either loved it or they hated it. And Lindsay Lohan commented on her Instagram photo, dot, dot, dot, I'm confused about the braids. And then Kim Kardashian wrote at Lilo, well, I was also, confused by your weird sudden foreign accent, but I didn't say anything. And I was like, damn, boy, go in a shade. Yeah, I mean, as annoying as the Kardashians can be, I would definitely side in a fight

between Kim and Lilo. I would side with Kim any day. Yeah, me too. No, I'm going, I think I'm going with Lilo. Oh, yeah? Yeah, I think I am. She's showing Moxie. She's showing a lot of Moxie here.

She's stealing paintings. Stealing paintings from Johns. Yeah, that's amazing. Also, how bad, I mean, I hate to use the word badass, but it's kind of badass that she not only sold the painting, but she's making one of her Johns pay the other John for it. Like, she's not even, she doesn't even have to get in the fucking middle of it. Yeah. Yeah. It's a badass.

I've always had a bit of a soft spot for her. Yeah. But, I mean, that's the hotness. Sexually the sexual attraction is quite a, quite a, quite a, quite a. a bit to do with that. But you had a similar soft spot, if you will, for Kim, didn't you, with a sex tape?

Oh, yeah. But more as far as sex tapes go, I'm still going to be a Pam boy. Yeah, Pam Landerson. That's my first. I'm always going to love it. Pam boy. Always going to be a Pam boy.

Hell yeah. A video jiggle-o. A cyber trick. And speaking of which, Gotta listen to Riverdale Roundup this week You do You have to God damn it's so good

That's all the time we have for today's page seven Hell yeah There's a lot Hold on to your house Riverdale Roundup Goodbye Love you guys Bye, buddy. Love you guys

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