Page 7 - Episode 242: Karamo for President

Episode Date: February 24, 2018

Jackie, Molly and Marcus talk teenage dramas, Fergie's rendition of the national anthem and play fuck-marry-fuck with the Queer Eye hosts.  Like the show? Consider supporting us on Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/page7podcast Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

be young. A thought I found. I'm so good. Oh, fucking man. You got to a bit of a weezer hole this week? Welcome to page seven, everybody. Hey, guys. How are you? How's everybody doing? I had a weezer song in my head today, too. Oh. The one that starts off with the, about half Japanese girls. God damn dude girls. That. Yeah, that one. I've been walking around like,

good to me every time, and it's really confusing to have a weezer song in your head. Hell Scorcho. I don't know if you guys have heard about this show yet, but it just came out a Netflix, it's called Everything Sucks, and I'm absolutely obsessed with it. Is it good? It is great. Really? Okay. I saw the ads.

Yeah, we watched the trailer and we all fit. Like, me and Carolina figure because, like, we're the exact age, like, you know, 14 and like 1997 or so. I was nervous because I was like, this is either going to be really great or it's going to just feel like a half-hearted representation of our youth, you know? I don't know what, like, I haven't been able to talk to anyone about it because I've only watched it by myself. I think there's 10 episodes. I'm on the sixth episode of it and I'm obsessed with it. I think it's fantastic. I think they did a great job of like melding like a freaks and geeks

with my so-called life type thing. Really? That's a good endorsement. Yeah. I just, that's why that song was in my head because when the song played, I was like, oh God, did they base a whole television show off of this song? I'm not giving anything away. That's like the main thing of it. It is, the soundtrack is amazing. I love everything about it. It's filled with people that I don't really know any of them. So you have no preconceived notions of any of them. I think that the kids are great.

I'm worried that I'm saying this too soon because then there's going to be some sort of backlash. Everyone's like, no, we're supposed to hate it. But you know what? This is my honest, to God opinion, is I am enjoying it very much. I don't know. If there was definitely a backlash against it, it would have come out with. And so if it's 10 episodes, hour long each, it would have come out within 10 hours of the premiere.

Yeah, I think that's right. Yeah. And so it's not like a stranger thing. It's just like a straight up 90s style, like, like dramedy kind of. Yes. And I think that like the way they wrote the kids, especially as have, see, you know,

it's like we're just a little bit younger, Molly and I are. But that was Henry's age group completely. And I was just like, yeah, you guys were the losers making videos and not like, I haven't bought. Oh yeah, I'll totally watch that. You have to watch it. And especially, you know how I feel about Oasis,

and the first episode ends with, Don't look back, nigger, a hudson. And I was just like, yes. Yes, I love it. Is there a broody kid with an acoustic guitar? There's a broody drama kid, for sure. Yeah, okay, yeah, all right. So, yeah, I could fit in that.

He's way more of an asshole, but he definitely, Definitely, I feel like if you were an asshole in high school, Marcus, and you were in the drama club, especially with like the big, like, he's got like big cargo jackets on with a bunch of shit on him, you know, he's just kind of like an outsider. Oh, yeah. Oh, no. So I know which, I know which character I'm definitely going to be relating to. Yeah, asshole kid in the drama club. You know what? Nobody really understands me.

That's going to be me. I can't wait to watch just for the costumes. It's great. It's just going to be like a, it's just a really uncomfortable trip down memory lane. I did not wear pants that fit me correctly until college. Yeah. Oh, there's a whole lot of that in this show. Nothing fits them properly.

We didn't know how to dress. Yeah, it was like a defining characteristic of the late 1990s, maybe the early ones too. Yeah, I guess Grun was that way too, but like nobody wore correctly fitting clothes. everything was too big. Way too big. Or I guess sometimes in the case of like the spice girls and the baby tea is like too tight and too short.

Yeah. Too much mid-drift. The first episode will get you so hard. It's such a cute. It's such a, it's definitely like, it's corny. But I love it. It's everything I wanted the show to be. When I first heard about it,

I was just like, oh, they can't redo freaks and geeks. It's not going to be the fucking same. But it's not that. It's definitely more grounded than freaks and geeks was. and I'm just completely obsessed with. There's so many episodes that you're watching, you're just like, oh, no, oh, God, I remember feeling like that. Yeah, because there is something about, like, teen dramas set specifically when you were a kid

because, like, everybody, you know, every age group kind of feels, like, pretty much the same thing, but you feel it differently in your own time period. Totally, and one of the things about the 90s teen dramas that did exist, like party of five and my so-called life is that at the time those kids were older than me. Like I was like a sixth grader or something and so I was like looking up to,

like I did not have any sort of distance. Like I was just like, that's what cool high school kids do. And so it would be a completely different trip to watch something about the same time period but to watch it as an adult rather than like a kid who thinks that that's actually how life is, you know?

And then I wonder, does that just mean that we're getting old because it's the same with like Lady Bird where I watch that, see that, have you guys both seen Lady Bird? I have not seen Lady Bird yet. But I do love Cher Shar-Sheronan a lot. There's a lot of compilations of her saying her name correctly, and it's very cute. She is amazing, and it, I think this definitely more for Molly than for Marcus,

but I, watching that, Molly, watch it, and then I, that is definitely, it was a personification of me in high school, just being like, oh, no, not that one. Oh, no. Oh, God. Because it's that same thing where it's set in the same, like, our generation. And I don't know. I guess it just means we're old now. Yeah, I think that, I mean, the 90s are now generally,

and have been, I think, for a few years, like the reference, like the popular reference. But so kids, like young kids, like elementary schoolers and middle schoolers will reference the 90s. Like, that's how, like, I think when we were kids, for a while it was the 60s. And then for a while it was the 80s. and then for a while it was the 80s.

Yeah. But like the 60s, I remember had like a renaissance around like when we were in middle school. Absolutely. Yeah. Spencer's gift was like full of tie-dyes. Yeah. Everyone had like the Grateful Dead dancing bear poster,

but nobody listened to the Grateful Dead. Yes, exactly. Right. And like I remember like like those flowy shirts with like bell bottom sleeves were really popular. They're back now, unfortunately,

by the way. And so now that's what it is. of the 90s and like I have like 10 year olds you know talking about how that's from the 90s and and like I had a student a few years ago now like walking around singing the theme to wake up San Francisco on Full House

Wake up like a 12 year old and I look at her like how what but like that's there I guess that's like the way that I would watch Bob Newhart you know they watch Full House which that actually makes me feel extremely old

Yeah. Oh, there's just so many. You know what makes me not feel extremely old is Honey Boo Boo. Guys, Honey Boo, she's back on the scene. She makes me feel young again. Makes me feel young again. Actually, technically, just makes me feel really sad again, knowing that she's just now she's 12 years old.

Did you know that? She's still, wait, that's, I, she's been a child for a long time. She has been a child forever, and I was reading this up. I watched her latest, uh, she had this video that just went viral recently because there was all these people telling her that she was acting black and she needed to stop.

And her response to it, see, this was before I found out that she was 12 because in the back of my mind, it's like, oh, she's like 16 by now, right? Yeah. Yeah, because she's, like, we've been talking about honey boo-boos at the beginning of this podcast.

Well, I guess what she started with this whole thing when she was about seven? Because I think it was toddlers and tears. So she was real. That was her origin. So that was, yeah, it was like six years ago. Damn. But especially with her response, I was listening to it, and Natalie was listening to the other room, and she's like, is that honey boo-boo?

She shouldn't be talking like that. I was like, yeah, I know. But so her response to people saying this and like giving her shame, which is like, let me just tell y'all, someone just told me to stop acting black in my comments. Honey, the last thing I am is black, honey. I'm white. Look at my face, hon. I'm white. white and then she says and i want and i want to know and i want to know how the fuck you act a color

like how you wake up one day and be like hmm let's see i'm gonna be purple oh you can't act a color you can't be a color but you can't act a color and weirdly enough i found it fairly hashtag woke yeah i've listened to this and i'm like i think you're doing all right honey boo boo boo I think you're handling this pretty well. Wow, woke honey boo-boo. Who would have known seven years ago that woke honey-boo-boo would be in our futures? Mama June is also, I feel like, slightly woke

because she lost a bunch of weight and everyone was like, we'll treat you like a human now. And she was like, that's unfair of you. Yeah, that's shitty. Yeah, so I feel like I'm, I've been, I feel like I'm really enthusiastically in the team Honey Boo Boo Boo Boo family now. I'm reading this, probably the same article that Jackie has up,

but it says in a recent episode of the Honey Boo Boo Show, Honey Boobee at Bubu asked her mother, the teacher about sex, asked her, will you teach me about the birds and the bees? And Mama June said, there's birds that live in trees. Sometimes the bees get stung by the birds because they want to eat all their food. Oh, Mama June. Is that how she got all of those children? And then Bunny Boo Boo Boo said,

I thought the birds and bees were about sex. Wait, I'm sorry to get a little bit primitive here, but can we back up to they still have a show? Wee. Oh, yeah. Honey Booba's not only is Honey Boo Boo on television, but also there's from not to hot the Mama June story. That's what everybody's following.

But that's the whole thing is that this show is that it's great that she lost all this weight. I guess she worked it all off. She's got this weird semi-hot boyfriend now. Go fah. I'm happy for her. Sugar bear, sugar bear's out of the picture? Yeah, sugar bears out of the picture. She's got a new boo.

But the problem is that, like, she's still just instilling all of these, like, horrible eating habits into the kid. Like, it's like, you should be teaching them to take care of themselves as well because, like, Honey Booba doesn't look like she's 12 because she's, I mean, not that I should talk because I definitely look like that when I was 12, but it was rough for me. You know? She's got, she's, she is developed. I wouldn't say that. What would you say, Jackie? I wouldn't say thick with two Cs, but I would say thick with a CK. You know what I mean?

Uh-huh. You know, it's like, yeah. She's edging towards looking like someone's aunt. Yeah. I definitely, it's like, I was working. wearing a bra at age of eight. It wasn't because I had breast, just because I had to put the fat somewhere, you know?

And I think that thing that creeps me out the most and maybe this is, you know, not what should be scared me the most, is that she has these really long fake nails on. Hmm. Uh-huh. What an odd life. Yeah. I mean, think about the entire time we've been doing this podcast

and think about being a famous child that whole time and how weird you must be by now. And the kind of famous that Honey Boo Boo is. Right. Famous for basically being, like, ridiculed famous. Like, everyone, you're famous because everyone wants to point and laugh at you. Yeah, joke famous. Yeah.

It's really, I mean, it's kind of sad, but at the same time, I think that they still go by the whole thing that where Mama June was saying that they were going to keep all the money until they were 18. Like, the kids were not allowed to touch any of the money. So I still enjoy that. I still think on some level, she's a good mother. I think so. Like, I mean, whenever I've watched Honey Boo Boo Boo, I've like, really enjoyed the time that they spent together. They seem like a family that spends quality time together.

Oh, hell, yeah. That reminds me of our new Zabrowski roll calls. Have I told you guys about Zabrowski roll call? I have not heard about Zabrowski roll call yet. Oh, man. So we've been really trying to keep the fun alive in our household. As everybody knows, I live with my brother and his fiancee. And so when we're working in separate parts of the house,

Henry will randomly scream, Zabrowski roll call. And then he goes, I'm Henry I'm Henry until one of us will start clapping as well and they'll go I'm Jackie I'm Jackie and then Natalie has to do it and we have to go around and around

until we're happy again which is difficult when we're all working in different separate places in the house but there's also lots of fun different things that we've been doing which I highly recommend everyone do start picking random pieces of songs walk into someone's bedroom when they're working on something

or Lord knows what they do in their bedroom And Henry busts in, he's like, whoop, whoop, and he points at me as I'm sitting on my bed. He's like, can I help you with something? He goes, whoop, whoop, and he points at me again. And he's like, move over that ass too fat. He goes, whoop, whoop, and he doesn't get him. Move over that ass too fat. He will not stop until I am smiling.

It's actually, it's kind of a lot of fun because there's a lot of different songs that he's getting very inventive with them with the whole Zabrowski roll calls. My favorite one was yesterday I woke up. I was just brutally hungover. I'm making coffee and he comes up and he just like gets in my face and he goes, da da da da da da da boop

and then got really close to me and I was like oh and da da da da da da boop I'm like oh and then he's saying all of no more I love you's in its entirety to me so you know

there are different ways to get a smile on a human being's face I highly recommend that everyone in their family and in their household start roll calling. With roll call, do you do like trade off like once you start does Henry stop or does it like a core like a round where you keep going all at the same

time? It depends on what we get into. Usually we get into a jive of different kind of clapping together and so that happens sometimes and sometimes we're getting around and sometimes he'll just keep going and he just won't stop. So I just

I've been really having a lot of fun with our roll calls. Well, Well, something I know that both you and Henry have been watching because I talked to you about it and I saw Henry post about it online is queer eye. And I know you talked about it last week and I know Marcus is not yet watching it. I say yet like you're definitely going to. But I just want to, I just now that I'm only three episodes in, but now that I've joined that party and I know a lot of listeners are also watching it. I just want to know who you think is hottest and why. It's really difficult.

I feel like this is like a fuck, merry fuck situation for me. I think number one, Henry and I have talked ad nauseum about it, is that Karamo is going to be president someday. Anything that Karamo has to say to me, I would believe hook, line, and sinker, I think he is a goddamn. He is just, he's an Adonis. I want it as my mother and my father and my children

and my uncle and my husband. Well, and the best thing about Karamo is like, you know, what I had kind of forgotten, the original show did so well, is like to be like, it's not really about the fact that gay guys are good at dressing themselves. It's about the fact that straight guy, like the straight guys they're finding are in a crisis of confidence. And that the process is as much about cutting their hair and giving them a nice outfit as it is about building their confidence. And like, that's what makes you feel so good.

And Karamo, he just like takes him aside and just like, he's like a, it's like better than like a psychologist. Because he just starts asking them questions and they just start opening up. And they're like, yeah, I guess I kind of built up these. walls around me. And it's like, it's this like brilliant experimented masculinity of like these guys just being like, yeah, you know, like I am suffering and like admitting their harm and their hurt. And like, and then by the end of the show, they're all crying together. And it's like, it is, it is working for me. It does sound very sweet. Yeah, it is really sweet. Marcus, I really think you should watch it. I could use more sweet in my life. It is very sweet. It's uplifting.

It makes you believe in humanity. In this time, when we need it so badly, go ahead, toilet flush me. That Karamo fucking bringing in, I love that he's like the culture aspect of it. And man, his facial hair is so perfectly sculpted. I never thought I cared about that

until I did. I never thought I cared about it until you watched Queer Eye for the Straight Guy and you realize that every man's problem can be fixed with like beard trimming. Like every single man on the show, they just like, the hair Yes, but like many of them have just like not trimmed their beard properly.

And it really transformed their whole face. Do they do an update where they see like, did he keep up with the beard trimming? So kind of they do like it's not really like any time later. They do like they send them off on their own. Ah, but it's not like hoarders where they do like an epilogue. No, there's no epilogue. Although that would be extremely satisfying and it would be really satisfying. somebody should make this show

where they go back to all the people on the first season of queer I like, you know, 15 years ago and see how those guys are doing. How many are dead? Probably a good amount of them at this point. It hasn't been that long. I've just, I've never...

Long enough for a group of men to die. Yeah, a lot of people can die in 15 years. Of all the things that I've ever, I've never been jealous of Henry for anything, except for the fact, that he tweeted at Karamo and Jonathan, and they both started following him back. And I think it's because he's got that goddamn checkmark,

and they followed him back, and it makes me so upset because now they're not like talking. It's not like he tweeted at him, but at the same time that he could, you know? Yeah. Tell him he's got to start tweeting a lot about you and how great you are. I'll ask him. I'll see if he can pump that in.

I'm like, hey, you just do it for me so that Jonathan can love me. See, I also really love Jonathan, but then I went into a weird hole of his, what is it called? Like the Hair of Thrones YouTube videos that he has? I have not seen that. I have yet to follow them on social media, actually. But I definitely find myself increasingly in love with Jonathan, even though, and I feel so wrong about this. Like, I feel very conflicted about it, but I don't usually find myself attracted to men with very long hair,

which is very, I feel like, judgmental and gender normative of me, especially since I have super short hair. But I understand not everybody's attracted to short hair. And I don't really love him when his hair is down, but when his hair is up, I was like, that guy's not hot. And then he put his hair up in a ponytail

to do the cutting. And I was like, ooh, yes, please. I am completely obsessed with him. It's also, it's called Gay of Thrones. It's on Funny or Die. And he redos all of the hair stylings from the Game of Thrones. that's where he got famous, I guess.

I'm, he's, I just, I think that we could raise a family together really well. You know? In a very platonic way. Very platonic way. I think that, but we could still be married and we still share a life together. This is like, this is my quintessential of just like all of my high school, just like, these are all of the men that I find so fucking hot. I got to say, Antony is my, is my, it's like the normal.

It's like liking the, it's like, that's like liking Nick Carter and back. Street boys, but you know. But Anthony, he is, he's the food one, Marcus. He's not, I don't think he's my favorite on the show, but he's definitely really, really hot. Just because I feel like he's showing these like shlameles how to make guacamole. It's like, that's easier to. Yeah.

I have not been impressed with his cooking, like what he's, the cooking skills he is imparting, but I do think that he is maybe the hottest. Although, again, when Jonathan put his hair up, I, he was transformed in my eyes. I don't mean to, I definitely not trying to hate on men with long hair. I just personally, it's something I've been trying to confront. Like, why don't you like men with long hair? And I just can't, I just personally keep coming up against the wall. I looked up a picture of Jonathan.

And actually, the way the picture looks, I did not at first know that he had long hair. It looked like he had like a hat, like a cowboy hat that was placed behind his head. Like he had like a little neck string so he could put his little hat back. But now I see that it's just a, he had a bad hairstyle that day. He puts it in a big, like, buffant sometimes. And, yeah, and he does have gorgeous, gorgeous hair. It looks, now that I look closer, it is gorgeous hair. It reminds me of the hair that I used to have, like, long, long ago.

My gorgeous long locks. Bring it back, Marcus. Bring it fucking back. I can't. I'm too old now. No, you're not. You're never too old. My hair is no longer gorgeous.

Not like it was when I was a scant 20. A lot of these guys, they have the long hair, and instead of cutting it all off, they just trim it. And then it looks very nice. It's all about the grooming. That's what Jonathan says. The only thing I really loved about Anthony is that in the last episode, he was wearing this shirt. And he usually wears the strokes shirts, which I find very interesting, that he almost only predominantly wears strokes shirts, which...

Like the band? Like the band. I find it very interesting. Yeah. But he had this shirt on in the end of the last episode. The last episode is about firemen, and it's fantastic. God, do they love those firemen. and it's so funny.

They're so over, like, just like all over them. It's really great. But Anthony has, I don't know if I've ever talked about it on this podcast before, but it's the saddest book I've ever read that I'm still completely obsessed with. It's called A Little Life, which I think I brought up at least once or twice, because it really ruined my life while I was reading it. And he had this shirt, and it just said, it's like one of those big, like, block letter shirts of names. It just says Jude and J.B. and Willem and Malcolm on it, and I was just like,

it's a little life shirt, which number one, why would you make shirts to sell about the saddest book that has ever been written of all time? And B, why would you wear it while you're trying to bang a bunch of firemen? Is it like the type of sad book that you read and then you like bond with somebody who you're going to make out with about it? Because I love to read sad books and then talk about it with people I want to make out with. It's more the kind of thing where you bond with people where it's like,

why did we read this? It's very, it's very, like, you know, LGBT, like, positive. It's very, like, queer positive. It is just, like, it's just the, it's, like, about the saddest love and the saddest, like, people that just had, like, unfortunate things happen to them. And it's really well written, but it is. But that is also why I love Anthony. But I'm sorry, we talked about queer eye last week.

I really love queer eye, though. It's really great. Yeah, well, thank you. I just wanted to know who you wanted to bang while I watched so that I could compare and contrast how we felt. It seems like we feel pretty similarly. It's definitely Karamo is my number one. Marcus, did you look up a picture of Karamo?

Let me look up a picture of Karamo. He's very, very handsome. I want to hear your hot take on it. K-A-R-A-M-O. Oh, Karamo with a K. Karamo! That's what I yell every time he's on screen. I've watched them all twice.

A lot of people in the group love Tan. I do. That's Henry's favorite. Really? Yeah, Henry's favorite is tan. So we go back and forth of who we love the most. Oh, Karama looks, yeah, uncle. Isn't he so nice?

He looks so very nice. It's like, yeah, come on, let's go have lunch together. Yeah, you definitely want to be his good friend. Yeah. Yeah, but I also want to take a tequila shot out of his belly button. Well, I know the other major big-ass celebrity news was such that Gideon was like, have you seen it? And I was like, I haven't,

but I know I have to for page seven is the Fergie National Anthem. Oh, whoa, Zay. Yeah, say. It was... I got to go out there right away with a perhaps unpopular opinion. I didn't think it was that bad.

I thought it was fine. It's just, She just jazzed it up. Yeah, and that poor, poor drummer on the brushes trying to keep up with her stupid rhythm. That's the type of detail that I don't catch as a non-drummer. I just like that Jimmy Kimmel called it unusually sultry, which is the nicest way to describe it.

And then when they panned over to all the basketball players and they're all just like, oh, no, oh, I'm beautiful, a ball game. It's like, yeah, just think about the ball game. Don't smile. Don't laugh at it. You just think about your ball game. It's like a game. It's like that, you know, the game

like I play a game with my students a lot where you know, you have to try not to laugh and people have to do it. It's like, well, all of them are definitely like they're, you can see like the process they go through. They're like thinking about it and they're kind of like looking around like, is this a slightly abnormal version of the national anthem?

Because they must be so used to hearing all the time. And super focused on the game at the same, like super focused on the task ahead. Right. Just the national anthem is just something that happens and you're thinking about the game and all that. And then like out of the,

you're just kind of thinking like, wait a minute. I don't know. Can you see it? Yeah, there's a kind of gradual realization from the beginning of the song to the end. So that by the end they're definitely like actually looking at each other and making eye contact and have kind of like furrowed brows.

I was like, this is not typical. It's weird. Yeah, I just, I, but at the same time, see, you know I love Fergie. I want that milk money. I got that, I got that, I got that milk money. You know, she is the creator of milk money. And to me, that song is perfection. But I love that she just like came out when she's like,

I'm a risk taker artistically, but clearly this rendition didn't strike the intended tone. I thought that was a classy way of saying like, bitches, I'm fucking tried something. You didn't like it. Whatever. And that makes me like her even more because it's like, yeah, she just wanted to jazz it up, I guess. It wasn't good.

But she had fun with it, and she didn't really give a fuck what everybody else thought about it. And it's a worthy experiment. We always sing the National Anthem pretty similarly. The only variation is how slow are you going to do it? Yep. And how wavy is your voice going to be

and how much vibrato are you going to use? And so I appreciated her urge to take an experiment. At first, when I saw everyone was saying how she bombed the national anthem, I assumed that it was like a Roseanne situation, you know. But she was, when Gideon and I watched it, I was like, oh, I assumed she had gone out of key. And Gidea was like, I wouldn't say she was in key necessarily. But, you know, I don't think it was Fergie's best singing.

But it was more just that she had just like a kind of a, she turned it into kind of a frolic where maybe it shouldn't have been. Yeah. Yeah. I like that a lot of people said that she was channeling Bjork, which she definitely kind of was. I thought it was like a mixture of like a Bjork with the, what was it called when it was like Yoko and John Lennon were in the room, like in their womb again? And they were like, yeah, yeah, yeah. What was that thing called? We called that crap. Yeah, it's not my thing. But you know, I mean, I like Bjork. I just, that stuff, the more the Yoko.

It's not really my jams. But I, you know, I think that she was having fun with it, and I just will forever love Fergie so much. And, you know, comforted her afterwards was Josh DeHmel. I don't really know how to say his last name. Her axe. DeHamil. Do Hamel.

Doehmel. The guy from that movie whose name we couldn't remember that one time that has all those words in it. Hamilton. Todd DeHmilton. Scars, Garde. No, the name, what's that damn movie that Josh Duh Hamill was in it was like the...

Chad, Chad Hamilton. Yeah, yes. I'm in love with the Chad. Win a date with Tad Hamilton. Sad Chad Hamilton. That's the only thing I know. As far as I know, that's the only piece of art that Josh Duhamel has ever made. He's probably had a queer since then.

Apparently, Josh Duhammell is hiding a Jennifer Garner relationship. Interesting. Ooh, well, good for her. Well, we don't know that. That's what gossip cop is saying. I'm into it. Jennifer Garner deserves hers. Get it, girl.

You look fabulous. You let your children wear whatever the fuck they want to wear. And I like that about you. I love everything about you. You got to get Ben Affleck out of your life, girl. Yeah, and Josh DeHamble is, even though he's like very generically hot, he's definitely significantly hotter than Ben Affleck, who's also very generically hot, if hot at all.

I don't think he is hot. I don't know if I've ever been attracted to Ben Affleck. Affleck before. Yeah. He's a plane. Yeah. He got big head. Big head.

Yeah. Plain face, big head. I mean, again, he'd probably be fun to party with until he started to cry. But then after that, it would be rough. Yeah, neither Matt Damon nor Van Affleck are attractive to me. But I bet Matt, we've talked about this before, that Matt Damon would be, like, super fun to hang out with. Yes.

Oh, you guys think that. I don't want it. I think it would be boring. I think it'd be fun to hang out with, and then, like, the night would take like a very uncomfortable turn. But uncomfortable as in like he's going to try to get you to do something dangerous. Yeah.

Like get on the back of his motorcycle while he's real drunk. You know what? I'm not going to say I wouldn't do it. I would choose Matt Damon over Ben Affleck to hang out with any day. Yeah. But I think that I only want to do it for a few hours. Yeah. Yeah. Not a full night. Yeah.

But Marcus, how are you spending your mornings now that Wendy Williams is taking a three-week hiatus? You know what? I stopped watching TV in the morning. I stop watching. I wake up in the morning. I check the Hill and Politico and the Washington Examiner and the Weekly Standard and all sorts of other news sites,

and then I get to work. But Wendy Williams. And you know what else? Is the end of an era that we didn't even talk about is now that Matt Lauer got booted, which is, you know, we're not going to get into, but that was obviously toilet flushable, you know, supreme. A toilet flushable subject, yes.

but the Hoda copy, the one and only, replaced him. And so I assume that means she either is now getting drunk much earlier in the morning or she's not getting drunk at all. What happened to Kathy Lee? I did. I'm pretty sure what happens now is she does her full thing. She still does her thing with Kathy Lee. She stays. So I think she probably drinks her in like the third and fourth commercial breaks to get all warmed up.

And then by the time she gets on stage with Kathy, who, Lord, she's going there. Oh, my God. She probably feels like she really earned it, you know, because she's been working for two hours. Hoda, if you need a break, give me a call. I will always be drunk at 8 o'clock in the morning. I will fly out to New York and we will slam through this show. Yeah. Whatever executive, NBC executive is listening to page 7 really needs to know that Jackie and I are the next Hoda and Kathy Lee.

And it's really unfair that they haven't just acknowledged that yet because Kylie Lee's got to retire. point. She has to. Oh, you ladies are next in line. I know it. I feel it. We've been practicing for this for years, both the drinking and the chatting. Skills we have cultivated. I'm ready for

wine Wednesdays and tequila Tuesdays. Oh my God. We're going to have to come up with a lot of other things, but it's going to be great. I just feel bad for Wendy Williams. She's got Graves disease. Yeah, what is this Graves disease? It's something about a thyroid. I looked at the

Wikipedia of it and I was just like I don't get it too many words Didn't we decide that Wendy Williams is too mean? Yeah Wendy Williams is way too mean throws too much shade. She does throw too much shade which is why Chris Brown of all people

disgusting ass Chris Brown came out and said that it was bad karma that Wendy Williams got so sick because she spends so much time quote dissing him. That's why she got so sick. That's such a shit anything to say.

Also, you're Chris Brown. Yeah, you're disgusting. Yeah, that's, Chris Brown needs to not be in public anymore. No. How is he still going? Also, you want to talk karma? Yeah, he's never, he's never really atoned or anything. No, nor did he really get punished for it at all.

Yeah. Like Michael Vick atoned much more than Chris Brown did. And at least R. Kelly just lost all of his houses. So, you know, maybe he's finally getting his that cult leader, child piss or honor. Yeah, I don't know if R. Kelly is ever going to atone, but he definitely is finally facing some hilarious consequences. Did you guys see the Twitter thread? No.

It was like a Fox station that tweeted out that R. Kelly was losing all of his homes. And then it proceeded to be with the Fox thread, the Fox Twitter hitter participating, like a local Fox affiliate, not Fox News, rewriting the words to remix to ignition, but about how R. Kelly doesn't have a home anymore. So it's like, now he don't have a kitchen.

It goes on it goes on all through. It's like, there's like 10 to 12 tweets about it. It's extremely satisfying. Nice. Even though homelessness in general is not funny. Thank you, Molly.

All right. Now it's time for the list. Who's on the list? Marcus, got to have that list. Groundhog Day babies. We're going to have a lot of time, man. I've been working straight since like 11 a.m. yesterday. I haven't had time.

No, I was just thinking about the groundhog the other day. Was I talking about that on here? I was just like, I'm so sick because I love Groundhog Day. And then I realized it doesn't apply to me anymore because I'm in L.A. And it made me so sad. Yeah, that's right. It doesn't, nothing matters to you. anymore. Nothing matters to me

anymore. Don't be sad because Groundhawk Day just always pisses me off because there's a dangles a possibility in front of you. It's never going to be warm. No. Within six weeks. Well, we got one warm day yesterday. Yeah, but then it just hurts all. It's just a tease. Yeah. That was so awesome and then you walk outside this morning and it just hurts all the more.

It hurts more. It's rainy. Yeah. Gray. Shakira was born on Groundhog's Day. Oh, those hips. Don't lie! I wish I could do a good Shakira and I can't and it breaks my heart. February 2nd is already Aquarius territory, right? Those aren't Capricorns anymore.

No, yeah, it's Aquarius. Firmly in the middle of it. I like this list because it also will serve as to tell me who my fellow Aquarii are. Farrah Fawcett. Don't care. Whoa. I don't think you're going to care about any of these. I care about Shakira, but not Farah Fawcett.

It's not the best list. Huh. Why don't you like Farah Fawcett? Is she bad? I don't dislike Veriface I just have literally no feelings about her one way or the other. Oh, Graham Nash. Crosby stills Nash and Young.

I'm happy about it. When is that going to go on tour again? I want to see CSNY. I would sell everything that I have, which is not a lot, and I would go see CSNY if they toured. Data from Star Trek. Data from Star Trek?

Brent Spiner, yeah. I care about that. He's great. I've only ever seen two episodes of Star Trek in my life. but one of us about data. What? We're going back through and watching all the Star Trek Next Generation. It's like our late night TV show right before we go to bed.

It's so much fun. Yeah. It's a great, you know, it's very nice. It's goofy, fun, rompy fun. Yeah. You know what's really sad? Our new home, our home show at night is 90-day fiancé. And it is.

We've watched 90-day fiancé quite a bit as well. Molly, get on the 90-day fiancé train. I've been intrigued. I see the commercials when I watch Top Chef. And I'm like, ooh, ooh, yeah. And then I don't seek it out. It's so upsetting. And what you will be happy about is that it goes both ways.

It's not just like men with women that they're buying the women. It's also women with young men as well. Yeah, we got, for some reason, got really obsessed with mail order brides there for like a few weeks. And we watched like everything we could find on mail order brides, like all these documentaries and all this type of shit. It's a bizarre, bizarre world. 90-day fiance is just a bunch of like. bad people trying to get married fast, right? Or is it there more of a scheme to it?

No, there's more of a scheme to it. So basically it's people that meet online. And see, we had like someone that was in my family before, that he did the same thing where you meet someone online, but to get their visa to allow them to become an American, is you have to, you have 90 days that you guys are engaged, and you have to marry within the 90 days, or else they get shipped back.

and you have to prove that you actually love each other and that it's not just a sham marriage. And it is rough. It's rough. And there are just, some of the things are just, it's upsetting. And like you could only watch every episode for some reason is like an hour and a half long.

And you get to like midway into the second episode and you're just like, I can't do this. I have to take a break. And on the TLC app that, that you get on like Apple TV. I feel like I'm a saleswoman right now. It's crazy because they've got all the TLC shows and it's free. But then it has like all the weird TLC shows that I didn't know about.

There's so many weird ones right now and it's crazy. And you know about many of the weird ones. So if you don't know about them, they must be really inappropriate. It's rough. I am really upset because they stole my goddamn idea. is because I wanted to do brother husbands, and now they have brother husbands. Oh.

And it makes me very upset. But Sister Wives is in its 12th season that I'm watching right now, and I can't believe it's still going, guys. Is brother husbands like people like Josh from Clueless were at your stepbrother and then you marry him, or is it like polygamy but in reverse? Polygamy in reverse.

Really? Yeah. I didn't even know they did that. And there's not enough holes in a woman, But you know, you try and you try. All right, separate blind items. Ah, we can't see them. We only got one.

We got to make it short because I got to get out of here. But this one's juicy. This A-plus list couple are using one of their children to launder and hide money with all kinds of companies and accounts created in their child's name. Very famous. No, no, no, no. This couple's together. They work together.

Business people. Day and day. Day and bay. Using Blue Ivy to launder a little bit of money around. Huh. Why do they even need to do that at this point? I have no idea. If you had that money, they got more money to get that.

This fine item may not be true. Yeah, you know, but also Blue Ivy is becoming quite a little fashion diva. I tell you what. She can see the dude all over that child's face. I really like non-baby Blue Ivy, and I like her. personality and I like I really like when she dressed like Prince even though that was last year but I feel

like now her parents have to like deal with her in public and it's like a lot of fun all we got to have for this week we'll be back next to be and don't forget about the Patreon starting this week there will be episodes of Riverdale Roundup starting from episode one available on the Patreon

and what is that patreon.com slash page 7 podcast correct Love you guys Bye Yeah, bye Yeah, bye