Page 7 - Episode 243: Buy the Ticket, Take the Ride

Episode Date: March 1, 2018

Jackie, Molly & Marcus discuss Barbra Streisand's dogs, questionable 90's science & butt chewin'. Take our listener survey here: https://goo.gl/forms/K1O5fuaUCL8WlfOQ2 If you like the show consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/page7podcast Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/ Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

What's up, what's that, my little tidly winks. It is Jackie here. I got a quick favor to ask of all of you guys today. Thank you so much for listening over the years, but we do need a little bit of your help. You could just fill out the survey that's in the description of the show today, or it's also on my Instagram at Jack That Worm.

That would be awesome. It's only going to take a few seconds. I swear, all of the information is confidential, and we don't take emails or names. That would help us so much. Thank you guys for everything. Love you, love you, love you. Hit it with page seven.

We're coming up on the sixth anniversary, guys. Come on, hit it. It's a deeper thing. I was just watching the 1985 video of Whitney used to sing the song. I can't pull off of Whitney. I love to try, though. I've been sitting here singing this song over and over again to myself because it is stuck in my head.

Well, welcome to page seven. I can't keep going with it. I'm Molly Neffle. I'm Marcus Pirates. Oh, I'm Jackie Zabrowski. That was a fight to the death. I sometimes listen to How Will I Know? And I'm just, I feel like it's a type of feeling that I have when I listen to a song that is so good where I'm like, how are we blessed to like live in a time?

Like, how are we blessed to live amongst Whitney? And I feel like a lot of Whitney songs are really good. But I think that how well I know is just, it's, it's in, it's in its own stratosphere. Easily my favorite Whitney Houston song. Yeah. I mean, it's definitely, I think, well, I don't know, I want to dance with somebody is really up there. But, you know, oh, I won't dance with somebody. I want to feel the heat with somebody.

Oh, man. Ooh, woo, you know I do, girl. Although I don't know if I've ever actually experienced the heat between someone when dancing unless it was like grinding to, like, to the window, to the wall. I think what she's talking about Yeah, that song's about Both two songs about heat Those two songs Till the sweat dripped down my ball

Yeah and all the bitches are crawling Right? Are they crawling? Is that what they're doing? God, that's a line in that song Oh yeah Till the sweat drips down my balls Oh yeah Yeah, it might be until the sweat drips from my balls I'm not sure but

I think it's down Down, yeah I was trying to remember I was like I feel like I had kind of a of like a blind spot of music, my relationship to pop music in college. Because like in high school, it's like you're in high school, so you kind of hear shit. And then since moving to New York, you hear pop music all the time because we live in like constant public space. And in college, I would think that I had like a bit of a chip on my shoulder about pop music.

Oh, yeah. And I wasn't seeking it out. And I was like, what was even popular between the years of 2004 to 2008? And I remembered that Lil Johns from the window to the wall was quite popular. Yeah, I missed everything from 2001 to 2006. Yeah. Yeah, it was a lot of skeet, skeetton. Have I talked about that on here?

That I found out what Skeeton is. Very upsetting. I guess it's not really upsetting. But I think it's like when you pull out and you come on a girl's back. So. Huh. Is that just, huh. I mean, I'm well familiar with the Team Skeet video series.

Yeah, I didn't know that. I never looked it up, to be honest. Yeah, I don't know. I think someone told me that in an unfortunate situation. And I was just like, Ah, interesting. Cool. I kind of want to know more about, what was this?

No, wait, I don't want to know, do I. No, no, no, no, everything's fine. I'm born again virgin. I want to talk about Barbara Streisand's dogs. Oh, her dogs. See, this is from one pop diva queen to another. I was wondering why you wanted to talk about Barbara Streisand, and I would not have guessed that it was about her dogs.

Oh, man. She has had, I can't even say it because it's some sort of French name. I'm going to say Coton de Tullier. Her dog, who is the cutest dog, she had her cloned twice. I don't even know where to start. The dog passed away in 2017, and they took cells from the dog's mouth and stomach, and they made two more of it. Successfully?

With mixed results, it says. Like, what, is half a dog? Oh, my God. She named them Miss Violet and Miss Scarlet, and they look exactly like the other dog. She also adopted the original dog's, like, niece or nephew as well. So she's got these three dogs

that look exactly like her original dog, and she's just loving on them. Miss Violet, Miss Scarlet, and Miss Fanny. Cute. I mean, they're really, really cute. But apparently she paid upwards of $100,000 to do it. Yeah, she's Barbara Streisand. She easily has dog cloning money.

I just love it because there's a bunch of pictures of her with dogs and baskets. $100,000. It's something where probably not even a dent to her. And I wonder if that means we could all get our dogs clone for $100,000. I guess so. It's $100,000 per dog. That's the going rate. Yeah.

Damn, to get you. of them? The company's already cloned 600 dogs. Really? Yeah. How did we not hear about this? I thought that the only animal that had been cloned was Dolly the sheep. I heard about it. Really? Oh yeah. Yeah. And it's $100,000 for dogs and $25,000

for cats. Well, that's just rude about cats. Why are cats so much less? What are they easier to do it with? Well, no. Okay. The South Korean company that Barbara Streisand used, that's $100,000 per dog. But there's a Texas company called Viagen that does $50,000 for dogs or still $25,000 for cats. Cats are much easier to clone, apparently.

Interesting. Is it that they're easier to clone or are they less valuable? Like, do people find them to be less valuable, you know? I mean, Molly, you're the cat person. You know, I'm not a cat person. I only like Garfield. Me neither. Yeah.

I fucking love cats, but I mean, I don't think I want a clone as much as I want their soul to be preserved forever, you know. If a Texas company could do that, then I would scrounge up the $25,000. Yeah. I don't think you can, I don't think you can preserve a soul. That's a whole different company. Like, you know, I mean, my cats are going to live forever. But if they didn't, I could always get another black cat, and I would probably love that black cat.

But I need her soul is the problem. I don't just need another black cat. Wait, you're saying you wouldn't do that to manface? Well, I mean, for just if money were, were non-existent, then I guess I would clone them, but cloned Manface and Serafina. But, you know, again, it's really their personalities and their souls that matter to me the most.

I mean, I love their little stupid bodies, but like, it's kind of, their bodies are just a vessel to the cats that I care about so much. There's some genetics in the soul. Still wacky? Yeah. You know? So be a wacky cat.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, maybe, yeah, maybe my goal is to make enough money, maybe $50,000 so I can get my two cats clots. Yeah, you get your cats a clone. Treat yourself. Treat yourself. Just get your cats. Just treat yourself.

I love it. The baby's going hungry, but you know what? We got the cats cloned. And that's what matters most. Yeah, you know, redirect the college fund to a cat cloning fund. Guess who's applying for grants? That's, I mean, that's exactly what Trizan said, is a, that they have different personalities.

And she said, I'm waiting for them to get older so I can see if they have the original's brown eyes and seriousness. You know, what's especially interesting about this is that with humans, you know, all humans look pretty different, right? Like, whereas dogs, you can literally get a fucking same exact breed of your dog that's going to look almost the exact same anyway.

See, but I think it's easier with cats, Because I can't tell the difference between two cats. I can tell the difference between two bichon frisés? Oh, probably not. See, that's the thing. It's like if you fall in love with a bichon fris and it lives its life and then it passes away and you have saved its genes to its cells to clone it, why not just get another bichon frisais?

It's essentially a clone, you know? Whereas like if I wanted another friend who looked just like Marcus, it would make sense to clone you because I'm not going to find another human who looks just like, Marcus. It'd be difficult. I can find another dog that looks just like a Bichon-Friese because that's what breeds are. I joke.

I think it's all a sham. I think that's my conspiracy theory on this is that they get the money in South Korea and they're like, yeah, just give them another one. It's fine. Yeah, just send another fucking Bichon-Friese. What is she going to know the difference? It's all the same damn dog. Yeah, it's true dog.

It's not just the same breed. Don't worry about it. Don't look into its eyes for too long. It'll die if you do I mean we know what happens with this stuff We've seen multiplicity You know you can't make more than one Or else one's gonna be you know

A misogynist One's gonna be slow And one's gonna be a homosexual So it's just You can't just clown them Is that the plot of multiplicity? You don't know about multiplicity? I don't think I ever saw multiplicity

Okay the plot of multiplicity is that Michael Keaton he's a busy guy. And so how does he get to the clone, like his friend clones for a living? He had, no, he wandered into, he was a carpenter or like he's a house builder or something. He wanders into the contractor. Yes, he's a contractor.

And he wanders into a science place. And a scientist sees him and it's like, hey, you, come here. Let me do this on you. He's like, don't have enough time running out of time. You should step into this machine. It makes no sense. Yeah, he steps into the machine

And then he gets cloned So that way he has more time for his family Because his wife's always Yep, yeah, yeah, yeah, and Adam, you're working too much And he's like, I'm working for this family And she's saying, but you're losing your family When you're working for it So he clones himself

And then the clone is like I don't have any time either So he clones himself again To make the effeminate one Because the first one's kind of massages He's kind of a dickhead and then he clones himself again. He clones the clone the clone again,

and then they clone again, and that makes the slow one that always talks about pizza. This is the 90s-ist movie in terms of its representation of science, in terms of its representation of, like, gender. Oh, it's awful. To put it on top, I think Annie McDowell is the wife. It is, it is definitely Andy McDowell. It's completely Andy McDowell.

And they try to get away with, like, being like, oh, it's okay. that it's like okay that we say he's mentally handicapped because it's a clone of a clone because the clones decide to make a clone. So that's why it doesn't work as well. It's like having, you know, a child with your brother, which I will not do, guys. I feel like you could have like a grab bag of different 90s, you know, topics and put them all together. And then that's the movie you've got.

1996. Directed by Harold Ramos. It does not. hold up. So I got a six out of ten on IMDB. It's, I feel like, I don't know, I watched it, I watched it one night in some sort of like movie theater type thing and I was like, hell yeah, multiplicity. I fell asleep.

It's, it's, I think it's over two hours long, I'm fairly sure. Way too long for multiplicity to be. And you know I love Michael Keaton. And I love a zany 90s comedy. Totally. I feel like Michael Keaton, um, I feel like this is. a lesser known, well, not a lesser known, but it's an interesting little, um, little, uh, jog he took on his career, you know?

Huh, you know, uh, this is interesting. You know, Michael Keaton turned on the role for Groundhog Day. Ooh, he would have been great at Groundhog Day. Although at the same time, I don't know if he could be the same kind of asshole that Bill Murray can be. Uh-huh. I think it would have been a much darker movie with Michael Keaton. Uh-huh.

Yeah. I mean, it already was a pretty dark movie, but I mean, I still quote, watch out for the first step. It's a doozy. I mean, twice a week still. I think also the reason why it's not as dark is because of the playful score. Because remember when Bill Murray is like trying to murder himself over and over and over again? But they're playing that like, booby-de-de-de-de-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d...

Like, it's very like Ira-newborn happy type of like, oh, he's just having a series of spells. and he's trying to kill himself with a toaster in the bathtub. It also would have been, if it had been Michael Keaton, it would have been another Michael Keaton and Andy McDowell project, which I feel like they would have been well on the way to being like a team at that point. Yeah. Like a team making like mediocre 90s movies, not trying to say anything bad about Groundhog Day,

but also might be trying to say that a Groundhog Day is not necessarily the best film, which is what I may have thought it was at the time. Whoa, you're anti-ground. Hog Day? Not anti. Just looking back with a slightly high... It's not even that there's anything that I don't like about it.

It's just that I think... When I think about it now, I'm just like, that's a weird fucking movie. Have you watched it recently? I haven't. I watched it like a month ago. It's fucking fantastic. It holds up.

Totally. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Groundhog Day holds out 100%. Okay. All right. I'll stand corrected. I mean, I used to love that movie.

And then just recently, on Groundhog Day this year, I was thinking about that movie. And I was like, I wonder if that is actually a good movie or not. It is. Okay. Yeah. It's so hilarious. Okay. Man, it is weird. I guess have I been in an

Andy McDowell hole lately? You're the only person on earth. I re-watched the muse the other day. Have you seen this movie? It's Albert Brooks and Sharon Stone and Jeff Bridges and Andy McDowell. And Sharon Stone is like this sexual goddess muse for Albert Brooks. who is a writer in the movie, and he also directed the movie,

and you wrote the movie. And so she comes in, and Andy McDowell is his wife in that, so she's been playing a mediocre wife, you know, almost her entire career. Just a mediocre person in general. But I think I love Andy McDowell. Is that scary to say?

She's the definition of mediocrity. Yeah, even her beauty is mediocre. Yeah, it's like, is she scared? No. No. No, come on, guys. And she is in like every, when I think of Annie McDowell, I think of just like a nameless movie from the 90s, you know?

Just like any fucking movie. Michael. Oh, my God. Michael. Also, I'm looking at her IMDB right now. Her name has been Laura in so many movies. It's ridiculous. They're just like, whatever.

I don't know. Give her a name. Has she been Laura before? Probably not. Slap a Laura on it. Not that Laura's a bad name. I just feel like it is like a girl next door. Like it is like an unoffensive name.

You know, it's a beautiful name. But it's, you know, it's just like, yeah. Like you could forget that you already named her Laura 10 times and just be like, yeah, I guess let's name her Laura. Yeah, sure. There's some of the other names of the, you know, characters she's played. Kathy. Karen. Linda.

Hey, that's my mother's name. It's a beautiful name. They're very, they're very, very. like 90s lady names you know like not not if your name is currently that not that you have a 90s name but it's like these were the name I don't think that writers were necessarily

like going to the like outer name outer limits of the baby book to get names for their characters you know. Anne Anna Anne Anne and Theo

man I was just I just got I recently got Michael and Phenomenon confused. Do you remember Phenomenon and how like Michael Phenomenon came out at like the same time? I always get them confused. Yeah, they were I think like eight months apart. I think they were actually on pay-per-view at the same time. All I remember, I think the only distinguishing factor is that Phenomenon had the, you know, beautiful song, changed the world by Eric Clapton and its soundtrack. I don't know if that's where it debuted, though. It is. It is. Because I remember the video, uh, was.

just John Travolta, like, clips from Phenomenon, and John Travolta doing, like, weird phenomenon stuff. And John Travolta is in both of those films, right? Michael and Phnomon. That's why they occupy the same space in your head. And they're both about angels? No. Phenomenon is supposed to kind of sort of be about aliens,

but, spoiler alert, it's a tumor. That's... Ha! ha! ha! I have to rewatch Phenomenon! It's a good. God that that was that spoiled. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Because yeah, John Travolta plays like a small town guy that's just kind of scooting through life. And I think he's got a son or maybe a daughter. And Kira Sedgwick is his love interest. And then one night, John Travolta sees this bright flash of light. And suddenly he can move things with his mind. He has telekinesis. And Forest Whitaker is his best friend.

And Forrest Whitaker is always like, move that thing over there and he does it. Forrest Whitaker's just like, ha ha! So other people can see it too. He's not just having like a tumor delusion. No, no. What it is is that his brain tumor has unlocked something in his brain that gives him the power of telekinesis.

Wow. But it is a super serious movie. Oh, I want to watch that right now. It's like the perfect John Travolta movie. Like we're talking like. What sort of movies does John Trawl love doing? Phenomenon. I can't believe I have not rewatched it.

I mean, I can believe it. I just, I mean, technically, I guess, changed the world by Eric Clapton is the perfect song to be in this because, well, it doesn't make any fucking sense. Yeah, and the reason why is because both Michael and Phenomenon came out the same year. That was 1996. It was Michael, Phenomenon, and Broken Arrow. I feel like what you described is at least a slightly less sad movie than what I was picturing,

which is just a movie about a man who thinks he has telekinesis, but it's just a brain tumor is causing him to have delusions, and no one else can see the telekinesis. Oh, no, it's real. Well, at least there's that. Man, I bet Forrest Whitaker was real sad after that movie came out. He's like, did I need the money that badly? Yes, I guess I did.

I'm Forrest Whitaker. I guess you can put this on my resume. I guess. I don't know. You think it's good. Where was the last time you saw it, Marcus? Phenomenal. I was a kid.

I mean, I'm sure, like, definitely not in this millennium. It's definitely going to be like the 90s. Like between 96 and 2000. You haven't given it a rewatch? I haven't given it a rewatch. It's one of those that, like, because my mom when I was like super into John Travolta during like the whole comeback and all that to the point where she took me to see

Pulp Fiction when I was 11 just because she wanted to see John Travolta come back that bad. Hell yeah. Yeah, she's fucking into it. So she would always watch like Phenomenon and Michael at home all the time. So they were just kind of always on. When mom was having like a mom night, it's like, no, I'm just going to put on

Phenomenon or maybe Michael. I don't know. Like, you know, Michael, I'm going to put on Michael. See how crazy she's feeling that. night, you know? Woman loves John Travolta. What can I say? Man, I know it because I was looking, I, someone had sent me this stuff about John Travolta, like, and Kelly Preston and their past loves that I got also into a weird

hole about. Because have you ever seen the boy in the plastic bubble? No. No. I haven't either, but now I'm really intrigued because apparently, uh, he was dating Diana Highland who plays his mother in the movie when he was 18 and she, I think she was he was 18 and she was like, I think 18 years older than he was

and I want to see the sexual chemistry between boy and bubble and mother. There's got to be something. What year was that movie or roughly what era are we talking? 1976. Oh.

He was real young and then I guess she got diagnosed with breast cancer and he stayed with her until she died and he was 22 and she was 41. Glennis O'Connor? No, Diana Highland. Ah, Diana Highland. Hmm.

I mean, I gotta see it now. I didn't think I ever wanted to see it. But, you know, I guess I'll give it a shot. I guess I'm assuming there's a lot of kissing through bubble, right? Apparently the plot is John Travolta is the boy in the bubble, and then the girl next door discovers the boy in the bubble and sees it. You're like, oh my God, he's so cute. so she is trying to coax him out of the germ-free bubble.

Big mistake, little girl. He has to be in that bubble for a reason. I don't know if he's in the bubble because he has to be in the bubble or if he's just in the bubble because he wants to be in the bubble. I see. That I don't know. And by the way, Diana Highland is pretty fucking hot. Oh, yeah.

I mean, I understand why he was doing it. I just, I don't know if I'm so intrigued that I will watch it because, you know, do you care about a boy in a bubble? All I can think of is the Paul Simon song from the Graceland album Where he's like boy in the bubble in the baby with a baboon heart No I don't know that one I'm into it

I like it it makes me think of that Christian Slater movie with Marissa Tomey What is it called? Baboon heart he's got a baboon heart in it Which movie with Marissa Tome? It's Marissa Tomei and Christian Slater And I think Rosie Perez I want to make a list of all of the movies whose plots come are referenced in that

what single Paul Simon saw. I mean, I guess he's got a lot of them in there. What's it called? Untamed heart is what it is called. Baboon heart is untamed. That's a wild heart. I mean, again, you don't fall in love with a dude in a bubble and you don't fall in love with someone that thinks that he's got a baboon heart.

Honestly, this all goes back to multiplicity and the way that we were really reckoning with science and the march forward of science in the 90s, even though that movie with John Travolta was from the 70s. Well, I hear this is a short synopsis of Boy in the Bubble. His name is Todd, but it's Todd with 1D. Oh, good. As Todd grows, he wishes to see more of the outside world

and meet regular people as age. He is enrolled at the local high school after being equipped with suitable protective clothing similar in style to a spacesuit because he has an autoimmune disorder. He falls in love with his next door neighbor, Gina Biggs. That sounds like a pornography.

I would love to be called Gina Biggs. Yeah, oh, yeah, oh, Gina Biggs is coming all by. Watch out. And he must decide between following his heart and facing near. certain death. Jesus, Gina Biggs, leave the boy be in.

Or remaining in his protected bubble forever. Do you want to hear it? Do you want to hear the end? You don't hear what happens? Slap me with a spoiler, baby. In the end, after having a discussion with his doctor who tells him he has built up some immunities, which may possibly be enough to survive the real world, he steps out his

he steps outside his house, unprotected, and he and Gina ride off on a horse. Wow. Horse is going to introduce all sorts of new viruses. But it's her horse. And the next day he died of a horse disease. This boy died out of horse fever.

Oh, no, get him off the horse. He would have survived if he hadn't come so close to a horse in his first day outside of his bubble. You hadn't built up horse immunity yet. Man, now that just gives me such a better picture of who Gina Biggs is as a person, because of course she's a horse girl. Oh, yeah. And I'm sure there's a lot, there was a lot of shots of John Travolta

in his bubble looking out the window to, you know, Gina Biggs in her backyard right in her horse. Yeah. You know, he probably could have stayed in the damn horse and ridden the horse in his, I mean, stayed in the bubble and ridden the horse in his suit.

And I just feel like Gina Biggs was being very selfish. No, he wanted the freedom, Molly. He needed the freedom. He could go to high school in the suit. He sounds like he could, He had basically a mobile space suit. That's freedom.

I mean, it is crazy what they did with all science in the 90s. With all, now I'm starting to think about it. It's like every single movie has such shitty science in. It's like you think about Junior. Oh, wow. That movie does not hold up. I would totally watch that movie right now. Of course you would watch that movie right now.

Get the man pregnant. We decided to take, not even being drunk help this movie because usually you can watch a bad movie when you're kind of drunk and it's like super fun. Junior was not helped by alcohol in the least bit. It's just, it's weird, it's not paste at all, it's just people being mad at each other for no reason.

I had, I feel like Junior. And it centers around a divorce like every other 90s movie. That's also true. I feel like I had a really, Like, Junior made me think about things in a way that I wasn't ready to think about them yet as a child Because I was like, I don't know how old I was when that movie came out. Like how the baby comes out of a pee-p-hole? Yes, I spent a lot of time picturing a man's penis

And thinking about whether a baby could like teleport out of it like a, you know, like a gamma ray or something. But like that movie forces you to think about penis holes. I had a dream. Whoa. All right, we're getting real here. That Matt could have babies out of their penis. A couple of nights ago, because we're, I guess, a little preview for everybody as we're doing Casey Anthony on last podcast this week. I had a dream where I had a baby with Casey Anthony, except I was the one who was pregnant.

And then I gave birth to the baby, and then I tried to kill it, but the baby wouldn't die. And I tried to kill it over and over again. but the baby who had kind of like an old man fest kept screaming at me over and over again. And then finally the baby grew teeth and tried to eat me. And that's when I woke up. Wow. Maybe that's what really happened to Casey Anthony. You know, maybe that's why she had to do it.

You know, maybe you just have an insider information now. Oh, I cracked the case today. I know, I know what happened. You know, psychologically you know what happened? I know the timeline. I know what happened with Casey Anthony. Oh, I see. And but you'll have to listen to the last podcast on the left to a huge.

year my exact theory on what happened. And I think it's, I think it's pretty fucking, ask your brother. Now I want to know. Just go like, just fucking go to the other room

and say like, hey, Henry, what a Marcus, tell you about Casey Anthony? And he'll fill you in. All right. I guess. I guess I got,

I got to call Ben and have him tell me. Kessel won't remember though. That's the, no, no, no. Oh my God. I love all of it. Man, now I want to, I got to watch a Casey Anthony

to think. That's a whole. other story. That's a whole other story, but yeah, it's, it's a, yeah, the Casey Anthony's story is your dream is like a, it's like a reimagining of the Freudian concept of vagina dentata, where vaginas have teeth, but instead the baby has teeth. The baby has teeth and it came from me out of the butt, if I remember correctly. Oh, no, not out of the butt. I'm pretty sure, I'm pretty sure it was a butt baby. If I'm, I'm thinking about it, yeah. Okay, it was one of the most disturbing dreams that I've had in a very long time. It's interesting. When I watched

Junior, I never once thought it could have come out the butt. I thought it was going to come out the penis. Of course, I didn't know about cesarean sections. I mean, every boy thought that the baby came out the butt. We weren't taught about vaginas. I don't know. Maybe it's, yeah, but at the same time, it's like I had a brother. I knew they had a peepie hole.

I figured they could, I was like, maybe it just got really big, you know, like a black hole and just like, you know, just like gets really wide. Like, oh, no. There's a baby coming out. Stand back. The hold is opening. It made us go through some uncomfortable thought experiments. Junior did. Yeah, very, very strange indeed.

Honey, I shrunk the kids. That was a bunch of shit science. Oh, that was so much shit science. I just love those movies and it's just like, I don't know, jam a few things in the thing and oh God, he's the size of an ant. Yeah, there was a lot of shit science in the 90s There must be some sort of interesting social cultural reason for that Like the culture war is happening at that time or something

I don't know, maybe it was just I don't think it has anything to do with the culture I think it's just a weird Because there was a weird like kind of 50s nostalgia I guess Yeah, in the 90s And so like a lot of the 50s movies Were like super junkie on the science Yeah, sci-fi, but it was all sci-fi comedies

Yeah, yeah there was I just I wonder what the explanation for all these garbage science premises. There was some cool sci-fi movies, though. Well, actually, I mean, not great. Lawmower Man was not great. Science was pretty shitty in that, too. Well, like, Event Horizon was fun. There was some good Star Trek made in the 90s, right?

Nah. No. Yeah, but it always... I believe it. I feel like it always comes back to Gattaca, though, even though Gataka was later on in the 90s. That was another thing, too. I feel like that was the epitome of weird science.

But Gattaca was fucking great. Gattaca was great. Yeah, Gattaca's a, yeah, that's a true, like, that's an actually, like, legitimately good movie. There's no reason for them to play it in our bio classes in high school, because I think we've talked about this before, because I've seen Gattaca like, I don't know, there's a sub, slap on Gattaca. That's what they did with me in The Matrix. Really? Yeah, I, that, it was not even a sub. It was just a teacher who clearly wanted to retire, and he was like, the,

Matrix is like the Bible. Let's watch the Matrix, which it wasn't even a Bible class. It was a world literature class. And we watched all three Matrixes at least once. And it took up most of the semester. Matrix is not the Bible. Obviously, that old man never read The Invisible. Because that's what the Matrix is.

I'm good for them. I don't know. All I'm upset about what happened in, I guess this is more in the 80s. Guys, I've been reading a lot about Jo Jo and Chip, you know, the eush. because I've been watching the fifth season and I know it's my last so I'm trying to savor every little last drop of it that I can.

They both look great. And someone tweeted at me the other day that I guess in the second episode Clinton Jojo had a whole they had a whole discussion talking about butt chewing, which further says that they were definitely having sex

this entire time and that the baby goddess is. Look at the way Clint looks at her. First of all, Clint is actually kind of beautiful. I think he's kind of growing on me. Dude, he's getting salt and pepper daddy, hardcore. Yeah, he's total salt and pepper daddy. He's got like nice, like, blue eyes.

And he just, he looks at her like he's so tortured, like, in love. And yes, on the episode I was watching yesterday, he was leaving her and he was like, okay, adios, amiga. And it was just like, oh, you are like a high school boy with a crush. It is painful how much they love you. I mean, I don't. I don't know whether she loves him, but he loves her so much. And I think that she is kind, I think it is kind of a high school situation

where I think that she, like, kind of flirts with them and, like, enjoys the attention a little bit. But I'm not sure. I mean, she, I think she loves Chip. Yeah, of course she loves Chip. Now, what was the context of this butt chewing? I have to go back and watch it, but I'm very intrigued of why they would ever, I mean, she is a Christian woman. You can't be talking about butt chewing with another man.

Well, you guys don't know what butt chewing is, do you? Is it a, it's a Texas thing, isn't it? Yeah, it's, it's like, yeah, butt chewing is when you bitch someone out. Like, when someone fucks up, you give him a butt chewing. Yeah, it's like when someone, yeah. It's not a, like, ass eating. No, it's not an ass eating thing at all. No, it's slang.

It's like, yeah, yeah, you got it. They should call it ass eating. Because I was thinking you were like, butchew, I'm like, what the fuck? You're like, oh, you guys don't, you just have never heard that expression before. No. Because I just imagined I just imagine her just like On his ass cheek just going

Yeah You give someone a butt shoe And that means you're You know that they're in trouble Sounds a lot like a rim job to me I feel like It's like for example like Because I was wonder if like

If this is the thing Then like I typed it out I was like butt chewing I was like oh yeah of course Because one of the first things that comes up Is an essay on Campfire Cowboy Ministries.com of how to take a butt chewing like a man. Well, oh my God.

That article could still be about a seat. I was riding a horse named Atravito. He was a bay colt that was as athletic a horse as I'd ever ridden. He'd already buck me. And then it goes on and on and on. Oh, that man likes a rim job. Come on. I think that article is about a rim job.

And then it just, yeah, this. This is a very, very, very long article. Actually, I think the last line is, he looked at me for a long second or two and then walked away. But as he did, he patted me on the shoulder and said, boy, no. What? Wait, what? A lot happened.

A lot happened in between that first. American Cowboy.com. Campire, Cowboy Ministries.com. Cowboy Church and Cowboy. It's very strange. It's a whole subculture. Trust me. It's a very weird thing.

It sounds like X-rated fan fiction is what it sounds like. It saves many a cowboy from alcoholism. It's not a bad thing at all, actually. It's very good. When I was at high school, one of my friends, you know, we would say the phrase, you know, you get chewed out. But I didn't never, it was not about butts. But one of my friends one time got mixed up and he started to say, if I don't get home soon, my dad's going to chew me out. and he also started to say,

eat me alive. And so I ended up saying my dad's going to eat me out. And it was the best moment of my life. I'd also be scared of going home, too, if that's what I was going home too. I laugh every time I think about that. It's been like 15 years, longer probably. And it's still the funniest thing that has ever happened.

And on that note, it's time for the last. Who's on the list? Mark us! Gotta have that list! Celebrities turning 80 this year. Jane Fonda. Really? Hanoy Jane, huh?

I think she's already 80. Gotta follow her on Instagram. She is great. I love her. She is fucking hot as shit and 80. You used to also go to Jim Jones's church. Really? Yeah, she used to go to the People's Temple back in the 70s.

Really? Yeah. Yeah. Hanoi Jane was real weird in the 70s. He was a sneaker. Interesting. Christopher Lloyd, he's turned 80 this year. Damn, man.

Oh, now we've got to rewatch. What's the summer movie? Not heavyweights, the other one. Camp nowhere? Camp nowhere. Camp nowhere is, I think I keep them up there with heavy weights. I just love heavy weights. I was a little too old for Camp nowhere.

When it came out, I had missed. the boat. Oh man, there's some good teen kissing in that. I had moved on. By that, by that point, my loins definitely longed for more than simple kissing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. I had discovered the Spice Channel and VCRs. Oh, hell you. And the astronaut's wife. Yes, please. Judy Blum's turning 80 this year. Wow, she's still kicking, huh? Oh, yeah, man. Is she still churning shit out, does it say? I don't know if she is. Just like increasingly more and more out of touch,

why? And so Ramona sent a text message to her instant messenger friend. Kenny Rogers, the gamblers, hit an 80 this year. Oh my God, I love that song. Always and forever.

I think I'd still listen that song at least three times a week. Really? Really? I assume Marcus does as well No, Kenny Rogers is a fairly rare occurrence in my years Really? Except for just dropped in to see what condition my condition is in

I love that song Yeah, oh yeah Oh yeah, what condition my condition is in Yeah Oh yeah Tommy Chong's 80 this year Man, I mean the Gondja really makes you hold up You know, as long as you know

you're doing it the way Tommy Chong's doing it turning 80 in prison this year Bernie Madoff is he still in prison I thought he got out no he's gonna die there he's gonna be there for a lot he did bad he did bad he did a lot of theft

oh yeah yeah he is definitely going to die there yeah the rest of the ones the rest of them like Kofi Annan yes yeah good for you Kofi Kofi went to the college that I went to So he and I are connected.

Oh, Brian Denehy. Oh, my God, I love Brian Denehy. I've always wanted to see him on Broadway. Let me refer. He's the best. Oh, him. Yeah, yeah. He's, I saw it not on Broadway, but I just saw it on, like,

on PBS one day, him in Death of a Salesman. Oh. He's like the, he's supposed to be, like, the best guy ever at Death of a Salesman. I'll bet. Is he Biff? Yeah, I would totally watch that. He totally has that look of a Death of the Salesman. Yeah, yeah.

George It's been way too long since I'm a theater major and I don't even fucking know George Clunker Yeah Yeah Coffey's already made up

Yeah Connie Connie Francis I think Jane Fonda's on the list because I think she already is 80 But she is looking damn fly You gotta watch the newest season of Grace and Frankie.

So good. I know. I'm behind. I heard that it's really great, though. Oh, it's so good.

Gordon Lightfoot. Wait, what's my favorite Gordon Lightfoot song, Marcus? God, a Gordon Lightfoot is terrible. What?

Yeah. What? Yeah. I'm standing by that one. No. That one I will stand by. Oh, come on.

Sundown. That's what it's. Sundown and you better to go. Then you love and a deep in I saw Gordon Lightfoot with a one

Edward Larson from the Roundtable of gentlemen. That does not surprise me. Yeah, I know Ed's a big Gordon Lightfoot fan. We had a great time. Another guy that Ed's a big fan of that turns 80 this year, Bill Withers. I feel like there's a whole demographic of people who Ed really likes

who are all turning 80 this year, you know. Most of the Allman brothers are dead, so he's out of luck on that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but he still goes to see them and all their weird, you know, whatever formations they are every year. So, God bless them. God bless the remaining All-Men Brothers. All right, seven blind items.

Ah, we can't see them. First up, I'm not sure how I feel about this former A-plus list reality star who is still pretty much hated and still as thirsty as she was a decade ago, being pregnant. She's pregnant. I fear the baby will be shown off. and end up like one of the reality stars, mini abandoned dogs.

That one's written very badly. That was a very written, a badly written blind item. She's A plus list reality. A plus list reality. She had a bunch of dogs and then just kind of threw the dogs away. Paris Hilton's pregnant. Whoa.

Oh, she just got engaged too. Whoa. She don't make combat? I mean, she's just going to be around. Yeah, she's just forever, she's forever rich. So good for her. I, you know, I never really had a problem with Paris Hilton. Is that bad to say?

I was actually fine. I mean, I had no feelings one way or another about Paris Hilton. Yeah, I don't think that I ever thought about her for more than like 10 seconds. Yeah. She does look mean, you know, but I don't think she is, though. I think that it was all a game. I think her and Nicole Ritchie, I thought it was all like a ploy. Or am I making that up?

Blind items say she is an awful person. How could you not be, though? I mean, born that rich, I just feel like the odds are in your favor to have a sense of entitlement. Yeah, I'd say so. I mean, I think it sounds great. I think it sounds like a great life. I'd be like, get away from me, bitch. I need another Starbucks.

That's what I'm going to start talking, like, once I, you know, marry your rich daddy. And our other blind item today, this world famous A. Lister tries to pretend he's the pinnacle of masculinity, but several separate sources have told us over the years that he has a real thing about dressing his partners and insisting they only wear clothes that he puts his stamp of approval on. One source said back in 2015, creepy and controlling.

He's like a deranged Stella McCartney. Another insider said, however, he's actually just trying to help. He knows fashion. It's hilarious, says another. No wonder so many people think he's gay. That's sound more abusive than gay. to me.

Which makes me think it's Tom Cruise. It's Tom Cruise. Of course, it's not something. Oh, that's so funny that they're like, oh, it's a fun gay thing. It's opposed to like he's extremely controlling. Oh, yeah, no, there's no way. But at the same time, you know, it's like if you're, once you sign the contract, as long as you're under the age of 33, you go ahead.

Tell me what I'm going to wear. You already own me. You own my image. You own everything I can say. So, yeah, dress me, too. I'd be fine of that. Yeah. Buy the ticket,

take the ride, is what I say. Los Angeles is changing you. You know? You're suddenly, like, since you've moved out there, like,

you've become, like, way more comfortable with, like, possibly ending up as a sugar mama. God, yeah. I'm really, I'm really into it. It's because of all

the sugar models. com billboards I see everywhere. Sugar baby, excuse me, not sugar mama. Yeah, yeah, you become really

comfortable with this whole sugar baby although I'll bet Jackie has a future as a sugar mama once you you know once you make it you know and then decades from now you're definitely going to have some some sugar boys of your own. Yeah. Someone young and spry and I'll say gety up cowboy and I'll only refer

to him as cowboy. I'll never know his name and that's kind of a fun idea too to have yeah a little sugar baby that you never know the name of and just go get out come in! I won't I'm going to join sugarmodels.com And I'm going to see, I'll let you, I'll report back on how that goes for me.

Yeah. I think, I mean, I think that being a sugar baby sounds great, but, but the coercion, you know, you got to be there of your own choosing, and then you got to let that guy as part of the deal is like, all right, you want to pay me? You got to let me still decide things. You're not going to decide what I wear, Tom Cruise. I mean, it's probably going to be better than the A real monster's wife beater I have on right now. I'm sorry, A-LONGER.

And that's all we have done for today on page seven. Be sure to go to the Patreon. Patreon.com slash page seven podcast. Hell yes. And that's the number seven page the number seven podcast. And we're about to do Riverdale Roundup chapter two. And that is a Patreon exclusive for five bucks and up. You can get us going back through the entire Riverdale catalog,

starting from episode one. And this week, it's going to be episode two when things get even more complicated. And I will... Oh my God, Jesus Christ. This woman! This woman! I will also say that we got extra content

coming at you this week as well. And I will give you a little teaser. It starts with, Unbreak my heart. See you love me again. Undo this hurt. Come on, guys. You are.

When you walk out the door And walked out of my life Ungrad these Teas I don't know that one well enough That's all right But thank you guys so much for Being a part of our Patreon

And fucking listening every week We love everybody Goodbye y'all Bye Bye Bye Holy heck in a garbage casket It is time for our inaugural

Page 7 Patreon Shoutouts I just want to say thank you guys so much for kicking us off, right? And I'm so excited to be doing all of this extra content for all y'all, and I wanted to say, thank you. Thank you, number one. Go to Carly Jerome. I'm not going to sing this entire list, I swear.

Thank you so much. Aaron Kelly, Bridget Caldwell. I see you, space witch girl. We got a Caitlin Martindale, Felicity Bowden, Stephanie Stone. I am loving it. Abigail Dunk. Samantha Bridge, Julianne Rowan, Katie Olsner, Stephanie Lake.

George Lucas, uh-oh, is it the George Lucas? I'm in, put me in a movie. Emily Lou Erickson, Keith Krasnick. Erica loves hot goss, and I love you, Erica. Stacey Daigle, Shalena Serret, Genesis Foley, Emma Cazzy, Scott Kniepper, and I love it, because I'm getting a conyption. I'm not, don't worry, I'm not having a heart attack. Maggie Schaefer, Laura Green, Andrea Smith, Alexa Carlson, thank you. Chrissy Molesley, Ashley Fifea, Phil Casey, Jennifer G-Card, Tracy Murphy, Alex Mockaby,

Joy Richard, Jesse Barber, Ryan T. Brace. Ooh, that's a good name, makes me feel like I'm in the middle of Roadhouse, Izzy. Felicia Alvarez, Dana Scully again, get me a David de Coveney, please, Jasmine Gomez, Shelby Schultz, Elena Calabro, Andrea Marie, Lydia, Alana Watson, Melissa McDormand, Brooke, Katie Johnson, Amanda Riger, Matt Braxmire, Michelle Beard, John Birkenkopf, I'm sorry, I don't think you're a Nazi, Susan Llewellyn Katie Romeo

Teresa Wilkins Martha Olson Haley Matthews Jeremy Nicholas Matt 2D I see you boy Kevin P Courtney McShay

Robo Key won't say your name properly and you can never pay me to but wait you just did alright Rob O'Kee Ha Ha Kaylee Beckwith

Thang Krista Xavier Andrea Dane Lacey Schwindenhammer Sorry I get very excited about German names. Carolyn Jenkins, Simone Melteson, Henry Barche, Stephanie Bauer, Misty Boots,

Hannah Mack, Yiva Akbabian, Abby Bellaview, Caleb Christian, Miss Cat Holmes, John Delvisio, Emma Bauman, Fresque, Christina Taylor Berry, Rachel Livingston, I presume, Alexandria, Andy Thompson, Alyssa Milan. Is that like Alyssa Milano? Hello. Shelly Zappas, and Nicholas Zappas. I hope you're related. If not, this is a crazy coincidence.

Kat Canem. Tyler Matznik. Jessica Fon. Sophie Lazowski. Devin Roerig. Casey Cabral. Low Grant. Abigail Youngblood.

Yeah, I like my blood, Young. Steph Vendervenderv. Kate S. Rachel W. Bacon. Okay. Emily Dunklin. Juliana Parks. Caleb McCord.

Anthony A Bear. Oh, send it my way. Anna Steele. Molly Cade. Sylvia Rath. Yeah, it's a strong one. Helena. Ashley E. Lawness.

Jennifer Gottfried. Hannah Gropskopf. Blake. Caitlin Russell. Carrie Molly Harrington Oda Oda

Oda Oda Gina Brollier I'm gonna say Brolié Might be brolier but Brolier sounds fun and

fancy free Dan Chincarini Lisa de la Garza Corinne Tandy Alexandra Green Kate Platt Katie Hopper Haley

McHell Frankie Owens Katie Robinson, Elizabeth Bucky, Alicia Porter, you're a wizard now. Before I go down the road of making way too many Harry Potter references, I just wanted to say thank you guys so much again for supporting our Patreon. We'd love doing this shit so much. It's my favorite thing in the entire world.

And we couldn't do it without you. Again, thank you, thank you. And every week we're going to keep coming back. Shout out more shoutouts. Having a great time with it. If you would like, please head over to patreon.com slash page 7 podcast and donate if you can. But if you can't, it's all good. We love you anyway.

Thank you guys so much for listening over the years. We, uh, we really couldn't do it without you. Love you, love you, love you, love you. And I'll talk to you next week.