Page 7 - Episode 248: Anacondita

Episode Date: April 5, 2018

Jackie, Molly & Marcus gab about 90's maternity fashion, Jesus Christ Superstar and puppetry. Want to help the show? Take our confidential survey! goo.gl/forms/K1O5fuaUCL8WlfOQ2 Patreon subscribers get even more hot goss! www.patreon.com/page7podcast Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/ Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

What's up, was that, my little tidly winks. It is Jackie here. I got a quick favor to ask of all of you guys today. Thank you so much for listening over the years, but we do need a little bit of your help. You could just fill out the survey that's in the description of the show today, or it's also on my Instagram at Jack That Worm.

That would be awesome. It's only going to take a few seconds. I swear, all of the information is confidential, and we don't take emails or names. That would help us so much. Thank you guys for everything. Love you, love you, love you. Hit it with page seven.

This one goes out to last podcast and to one, a very handsome man in particular that sent it to me. A one and a two and a Rah, Raspoutin, lover of the Russian queen. There was a cat that really was gone. Russian's greatest love machine. It was a shame. I have been obsessed also, not just that song, but Boney Miss, I call it Boney Miss. It's not called Bony Mr. It's just called Bony M.

But I feel like the M probably stands for Mr. Right. I think Bony Mr. Ugh. I hate saying that. I know. It's not until you actually say it that you're like, it tastes bad.

Oh yeah. Boney Mr. is really truly disgusting. It just makes me think of like looking at a hard dick just being like, that's one. Boney Mr. That's a bony mister. You're a bony mister.

That's what makes me You too bony How do you get so bony? Stop! I'll start saying cuckoo clock again, I swear. Don't do it, Marcus, please. Jackie, I'm cuckoo for cocoa puffs. Oh, no, that's much worse.

Cuckoo for cucko pucks. Oh, God, that disgust me. It really, truly. It's just cuckoo. I spent a large amount of my morning saying that in the house, and Carolina did not enjoy it. She reacted much the same than both of you did. Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.

Well, especially when you posted that thing on Instagram of you just going cuckoo clock. And front of the world's largest cuckoo clock. How was your trip, Marcus? It was fantastic. We had a fucking, like, we did like a weird, like Jim Jones' This Is Your Life tour, where we went to Lynn, Indiana, which is his home. We went to Crete, Indiana, which is where he was born. We went to Richmond, Indiana, which is where he met Marcellin.

We went to Marcellan's grave. We went to his father's grave. And we also, which was, this was kind of supposed to be the point of this trip, but the guy that offered to give us a tour, never actually got back to it. Got back to us, so we just kind of had to drive up to it and wander the grounds illegally. We went to Pause, Inc., the home of Garfield. So you didn't get the tour of it. Were you able to get inside of it?

No, we weren't at all. Always. So you drive it. It's this big building. You just wandered the perimeter of pausing. We wandered the perimeter. Yes. It's this big building and this tiny, tiny town in Indiana outside of Muncie.

It's not even in Muncie. It's outside of Muncie. And it's off of this like two-lane road. It's really creepy. It was overcast and kind of misty. So the building kind of looked a little evil because it's just this big brown building but kind of oranges that it kind of reminds you

a Garfield just a little bit. Is this like, this is like Graceland, but for Garfield? Pretty much, yeah. It's where all the artists, it's where all the artists toil the newest Garfield illustrations and comics every day. So we did trespass just a little bit

and walked around the grounds. It was deathly quiet. And we could look inside the windows and just see this dimly lit Garfield merch. But that was about it. No laughter. No laughter. I would have loved to hit that Garfield merch. Oh, please.

I know. We were supposed to get like a little tour of like the secret Garfield merch closet. Uh-huh. It just didn't work out though. You know, I think it was like we, yeah. It just, like, no hard feelings or anything yet. It just, it just didn't work out. But yeah, we wondered they had a weird greenhouse in back that had a,

a Garfield, what do you call those things that, like, tell you which direction the wind is blowing? Uh-huh. Yeah, like they had one of those. So you basically, it's like, I had a friend in high school whose aunt worked for, like, Eminem Mars and we would get, like, the reject candies, like, that never, or like the candies that never made it to the, to air, you know? Yeah.

So you basically wanted to get, like, the reject Garfield merch. And Garfield merch is already kind of the inherent rejection of, like, all merch. And so I feel like. Difficult to find good Garfield merch. I will say that. I've scoured the internet. I mean, you've got some merch already, Jack. Oh, I got some good ones.

I just imagine that inside that huge building, it's just Jim Davis all alone, just being like, yeah, what do I do now? I can't make fun of big people like Bertha anymore. What do I do? The power stick, I'm not quite sure. And we went to the James D. Museum, which is only about like 20 or 30 miles away.

And the James D. Museum is like super fucking cool. I mean, everything that they have is like a replica. Like, it's like, this is a jacket, the James D. Moore, replica. Like, in really small. That's what I'm saying. He was so young when he died. How did they have anything to have a whole museum dedicated to him? Actually, they had a lot of cool shit.

Like, they had, because it's in his hometown. And they had, like, a bunch of stuff, like stuff, you know, from when he was a kid and things like that. And, you know, he lived a full life in a very quick, you know, in a very quick, you know, in a very quick manner. He'd accomplished a lot of shit in a very short period of time. But while there, I found a pamphlet for the Garfield Trail.

Because this entire county, it's so weird. We get two things, James Dean and Garfield. And that's it. The two polar opposite ends of human experience. No, they are both extremely cool.

Thank you very much, Molly. Actually, they did have like a town museum and the sign for the day. It was close for the way. We missed so much stuff because, like, the world's largest kaku clock only operates from April 1st on. We were there on March 28th. Oh, how sad. No.

Wait, why is it a seasonal thing? I think because the extreme cold might damage the cuckoo. Oh, my gosh. Mercats. And then so we also missed, like, the town museum by a couple days, but the sign for the town museum, it's got Garfield with his arm around James Dean. Wow. Because James Dean's hometown is also Jim Davis's hometown.

That is a merch that I want. I want. Wait, so how far away is all of this from Jim Jones's hometown? Because I don't know. Don't trust the state. It was like an hour and a half away. It's this weird corner. It's like it was a vacation of gyms.

You know, you got Jim, you got Jim Dean, you got Jim Davis, and you got Jim Jones. And again, a really broad. spectrum of humanity represented across those three Jameses. Very much. We put a lot into this trip. We packed a lot of humanity into this one. Wow. Yeah, it was, it was pretty, it was pretty amazing. I would really love to have a t-shirt with Garfield with his arm around James Dean.

That is some merch I would, I would take. I would love to have grabbed it. But, you know, the place was closed, unfortunately. But the Garfield Trail is that all across this one county in Indiana, each town has at least one up to four Garfield statues that you can drive from town to town to see each Garfield statue. Unfortunately, we were in the very southern part

of the Garfield Trail, and most of the Garfield Trail was north of us, and we had to go south down to where all the Joneses were buried. So we were only able to go to Matthews, Indiana, which has a, you can see on my Instagram, a very large statue of Garfield fishing. He's got all the tackle. He's got the hat and the vest and all that.

But, yep, and the name of the statue is gone fishing. I just, in my brain, that trail is similar to, like, going through, like, the wreckage of Stalingrad. Yeah, that's what I was thinking, too. It's like a... Monuments of Stalin. Totally. It's just like, ah, what Garfield used to be.

Yes. It feels very reminiscent of, like, Yeah, the monuments to like to human carnage. Come see what Garfield hath wrought. Like when I was studying abroad in the Czech Republic, there was like a, like a museum that was like a basically like a lot, like an outdoor lot with all of the old communist statues all just there. Yeah, it was like that, but with Garfield.

With Garfield. And all spread out over Indiana. I like that it wasn't just in one place. You have to go all over the place for them. And I imagine that just like in this particular communist statue museum, people just walk around and look at the Garfield statues very somberly. And just like little tea claps you go, oh my God. What a visionary.

Oh, I love him. And they were all small towns of like a thousand people or less. Like these tiny, tiny little towns. But this one county in Indiana has claimed, like, they care more about Garfield than they do about James Dean. I mean. I mean, I do. Yeah, I kind of actually, I'd very much do too.

One has a lot to say that, right? Well, I think we're, yeah, I think we're allowed to say that. Garfield has definitely had a larger impact on my life than James Dean has. I think it's kind of a quantity versus quality issue. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a larger breadth of work with Garfield. Only three movies is James Dean. I'm going to say higher quality than the entire breadth of Garfield's work.

But. I don't know. Those early strips are pretty funny. It makes me think of the fact that I just found out not too long ago that David Hasselhoff is the mayor of a town in Southern California called Funner. And there's nothing else going on in this town, but everyone's just like, but David Hasselhoff is the mayor of Funner. Doesn't live there. There's nothing. It's like, I think they just have like a tiny museum dedicated to him.

I believe they have like rides dedicated to him. But other than that, it's just who the fuck knows why? Wait, have you guys, have we ever talked on this show about David Hasselhoff? Haselhoff's music video, Jump in My Car? I think we have. Okay, good. Because I can't hear his name without watching that video, so we don't have to do it now,

but everybody should seek out David Hasloss's video, Jump in My Car, as well as his music video, hooked on a feeling. I think we did actually watch the entire video for Jump in My Car. Good. Because it's my religion. All right, good. Yeah, and the one really, like, I didn't get any,

I really wasn't able to get any Garfield T-shirts, which really bummed me out. That was the one thing that I really wanted, with some quality Garfield merch. But one fun thing that I did get at this vintage toy shop, like in some small town in Indiana that had so many cool toys, I got a 12-inch tall John Travolta doll. Wow.

John Travolta! What is it? Please, please, please tell me that it says things. Does it say things? No, it doesn't say anything. It's just a doll. What era John Travolta? Oh, 70s John Travolta.

But it's like, it's a cute. It's cute John Travolta. It's not disco John Travolta. It's just like regular, non-threatening John Travolta. Original inbox. It's a shame that it's not John Travolta like from Michael, you know. I would buy the fucking picture. Oh, God, I would so buy a fucking Michael action figure.

With it like a double like blister pack of Michael and John Travolta from Phenomenon. It's like which one is which? Wait, so is this a cloth doll or is it like a G.I. Joe? It's like a Ken doll. Great. And in fact, it says on the box that the clothes are interchangeable with both Ken dolls and Donnie Osmond dolls. Oh, good. For all those Donny Osmond dolls you got just burning a hole in your pocket.

I have all these Donny Osmond clothes sitting around. It's in, like, and it's a very creepy artifact. It's a very creepy little doll Like the box, because it's just It's got a picture just as John Travolta In big letters and it's got a big picture of John Travolta on the front and a bigger one On the back.

And it's soulless. It feels like there could be Something inside of it. The only Ken doll that I ever owned Would have been perfect to take his clothes And put it on this genre though Because I had like a mysteriously gay Ken doll That had like a gold mesh

belly shirt that went down to his about halfway down his abs and then he had like lime green hot pants. That is, I don't think that's a mysterious gayness at all.

Just an overt gainness. I think that's a blatant ganyx. I think it's just Kendall. Just a super gay kendall. And those clothes will look great on Jantra. Just kind of like have him embrace himself, you know?

I mean, he's, well, he's got removable boots, a pinstripe pants, and a turtleneck. Oh my God, that's amazing. I mean, technically, I never made, it's like, I didn't have too many Barbie dolls, but the ones I had, they were never fucking Ken. They always fucked like Skipper. Yeah, they always fucked each other.

I think that's illegal to do, but, right? Is Skipper a kid? Yes. Yeah, Skipper's like 16, I think. I don't know. Underage. Dolls. And I had a Todd.

I, but I never really had too many of them. Are you, but the real question is, Marcus, are you going to take the doll out? of the box. I already did. Yeah, you got to lay. But I kept, I did take it out of the box. I think I'm going to put it back in the box for display purposes because it looks better with the full display.

Yeah. Because when you take it out of the box, it's just kind of this, out of context, it doesn't really look that much like John Travolta. When you put it in the box, you're like, oh, yeah, that's John Travolta. But when you take it out, it's just like a doll of like a weird guy from the 70s. Uh-huh. Did he have fun shoes on, though? He's got boots.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, he's got like cowboy boots on. Man, I'm going to find you some awesome clothes to dress him up in, though. I'm going to get some Donny Osmond clothes, and I'm going to send him your way. Jackie, did you ever have a Todd doll? No, who's Todd? Did anyone have a Todd? Todd was like an 11-year-old boy.

There was Skipper who was like a teenage girl, and then there was Todd, and Todd was like a child. And he was a boy, and he was a kid, and he was like Barbie's not son. I don't think because she had like infant babies. Younger twin. Younger twin. Oh no, younger twin siblings. So it was taught because that doesn't. I mean, I know we discussed the prequel to twins or the sequel to twins,

but I don't think that's how it works, Mark. Todd was an embryo that petrified in Barbie's mother's uterus. And then burst four years later. Just ruminating in that wound, you know? Maybe it just made him stronger, better, faster, which good on top. Todd was the twin sibling of Tootie. Really? How did you get a hold of these?

They discontinued them in 1971. Really? Todd? I had a new Todd. He was dressed like it was the 90s and everything. And there was no Tootie. Reintroduced in 1991 as part of the wedding party for Barbie's best friend, Midge. Oh.

Midge was a name I never got behind. I could never get behind the name Midge. Yeah, I have a cat friend whose name is Midge. And it's a great name. name for a cat, but not the best name for a human. Wait, does a cat friend that you mean an actual cat? An actual cat. I thought you were just describing someone as a cat friend.

I don't know if I want to be around your cat friends. Like, oh, you don't get near or though she scratches. No, she's a cat. I just consider her my good friend. Well, Todd was reintroduced in 1991 in both white and black. Black Todd. Yeah, so you get Black Todd. You can get White Todd.

I have White Todd. I have White Todd. But they dropped him, unfortunately, both black and white Todd. Let's see. Todd was dropped from the Barbie line and was not brought back with Stacey when she reappeared in the We Three Friends series. Yes, I remember Stacy. See, a lot of this had to do with my own kind of gender dysphoria, and I really wanted a boy doll. And so I was like, fuck all these Barbies.

I want a boy doll. And so Todd was like my favorite Barbie. He was a little boy wearing acid-washed jeans and like a black windbreaker. And I loved him. I mean, he sounds like a blast. I never really had any of those things. I just mostly did surgery on them, so I would just rip them apart like a little fucking psychopath.

I used to do that with my Ninja Turtles that I'd take them apart and then reassemble them with like different arms and legs. There was those kids. And like what are the shark tails ones? Like the ones that had sharks, shark heads? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Street sharks.

Street sharks. Those were usually the doctors because I figured if I was going to trust anyone it was going to be a shark. Oh, wow. Do you get a Tracy and Tart? Todd wedding from 1983. Wait a second.

Weren't they siblings? Todd grew up? Yes. Todd's like, I can't date my sister Tootie, but I do like to date people who have names very similar to hers. Can't date her anymore, not ever since mom walked in. Not since she died in the 70s, actually. And Todd was reincarnated without her in the 90s. Poor Todd, Phantom twin.

He was given a black twin. Todd, too. But he always wonders why he feels like he's missing a sister. Well, I found a Todd for you on eBay, Molly. Oh, there's Todd. Oh, does he have the acid-washed jeans too? No, this Todd has plaid pants, but that's definitely his face and his hair. Actually, that's a new Todd outfit.

So apparently there's someone out there making new outfits for Todd. Wow. Well, you don't want him to be naky and or out of fashion. Mm-mm. No, you don't. No, you got to update. Yeah, that Todd was actually much more fashionable than mine. Although my Todd, now that we're in this 90s revival,

my Todd probably would be pretty fashionable, you know. Yeah, I think you could probably get some good money for your Todd. Yeah. Molly, are you utilizing any 90s fashion for your pregnant body? You know, I have not been utilizing any fashion for my pregnant body. I have been just really stretching, pushing the limits of the T-shirts that I've already owned for a long time. and wearing my husband's t-shirts.

And I bought, like, two maternity t-shirts, and I was like, this is bullshit. I only have two months left. I'm just going to tough it out. But those two months are going to be long. I mean, that's what it's going to be the hardest to tough it out. Oh, yeah, no, no, no. It is, every week is different.

Yeah. I'll definitely say that. Yeah. So I think I might have to buckle and actually buy some shit. But if you can point me towards, like, a 90s flashback maternity line, Then that's what I'll do. Crop tops, it's perfect for maternity. You wear them afterwards.

Beforehand, you let the belly just hang right out. You own it. I do need something that I would like to buy something I could wear afterwards. So maybe I should get some crap tabs. I think you should definitely look up 90s maternity on Etsy. Yeah. You want some bib overalls? Some maternity overalls?

Oh, I don't. I think you do. I think you need that. have them. I'm worried for you. They're like, let's think of the clothing item that will accentuate your belly the most and really put it front and center. This child.

Yeah, but then you can cinch them up afterwards, you know? Can I? Or am I just going to have overalls with a big floppy belly? I don't really know how overalls work. I've got a long waist. I can't imagine. Overalls just pooch up into my vagines. Yeah, overalls are going to, I'm going to look like an overgrown child in overalls.

This is why I won't wear rompers. Like you've got to have a long, stretched out, very feminine body, I think, to look. I mean, you can wear a romper with any body type you have. I don't mean to be a body shaming. But I feel like my fear if I wear a romper is I'm going to look like a child. And if I wear overalls, and especially now with my pregnant belly, I'm just going to look like a, like a overfed. Like I just ate, like how after, you know, how little kids, little kids when they eat, they have their little belly. That's how I'm going to look.

Like a snake. Well, I did find you a sequined maternity dress. That one is actually pretty good. It's color block, which is very 90s. It does have a lot of sequins and shapes. There's a star on it just right in the middle, not in the middle, but just not even centered at all for no reason. Yeah, this is what I should do.

I should get some fun, some fun, weird stuff. Just have fun with it. Yeah, I should have some fun with it. Go for you, girl. Jackie, do you remember the T-shirt that I sent you? That was a maternity t-shirt. I didn't send you that. shirt, but I sent you the image that said,

and to think, I almost swallowed you. Which is truly disgusting. I'm not disgusted by much, but that's like, come on, you got a baby inside. Also, is that how you get pregnant? I don't think it is. I know. It also makes it, it sounds like you swallowed the embryo, not swallowed the cum. It took me a while of thinking about it to get it. It took me a little bit to think, like I was thinking about it, and I was thinking,

it's like, what are you saying like you ate the baby? Like you put the baby in your mouth and you should like, I'm so glad I just swallow you. And then it's like, oh no, it just was almost a beege. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which is not as fun as it seems like for a t-shirt. Yeah, it's not fun. It's really gross.

Really gross. Yeah, I kind of want this shirt just to wear as a non-pregnant woman. Actually, as a non-pregnant woman, it's a pretty badass shirt. Right. I mean, it's really fun. I feel like because then you look down the barrel of a dude's eyes and be like, I could have swallowed. Right.

The U is ambiguous if you're not pregnant. So it's like, who could you have almost swallowed? It just makes me think of anaconda with the ephemeral jailo. You know, it's like think of how much that anaconda had to unhinged its jaws. But it got those people down there. But it was glad he swallowed them. Oh, yeah. That's right.

That's the only difference between me and the anacondita. I'm going to send you that actual shirt. Please, too. I mean, speaking of somebody that could be swallowed by an endiconda, Vern Troier's in the hospital. He's in trouble again. Why is he in the hospital? Alcohol.

Oh. But technically, I guess he was screaming. He had a lot of suicidal tendencies. And he ended up, they put him into the boozy loony bin. But I think he's been in a boozy loony bin a lot. I was reading about a particular time that I guess he is a sex addict. And he's had a lot of orgies over the years. One in particular that he had an all night five-in-a-bed romp with three Playboy bunnies and a pal at the Playboy mansion in 2005.

Good for him. Huh. That's something. I think that he's very sexually aggressive towards women because I think that people think that's like, oh, he's a little person. He can't be scary. But it's like, I don't think he can. But not that I, you know, I love me a great, you know, get in my belly reference. I don't especially care about Fern Troier.

However, what did peak my interest is that he's got a new movie coming out, and Marcus is specifically for you. The name of the movie is called hipsters, gangsters, aliens, and geeks. Oh. And the short bio of it is, Out-of-work actors stumbles upon a key to the universe and is drawn into intergalactic war between clowns and aliens. It's like an app.

This sounds like an app. You know, like it sounds like zombies versus plants or whatever, you know. This is how the youth like things now. And Vern Troier stars as Emperor Beaselchug. He is a clown. He is. And it looks very scary. He is a clown emperor.

But also on top of it, Marcus, it is written in direct. directed by Richard Elfman from Oingo Boingo. Oh my God! Yeah, right? That also did Forbidden Zone. Oh!

Is that a good noise or a bad noise? That's a great noise. Yeah, because he hasn't really done anything since then. Oh. No, that's why I was so excited to tell you about this because when I first looked at it up, I was like, what the fuck is this movie? So, Molly, just to keep you updated.

So Richard Elfman is Danny Elfman's brother. Okay. And he's like, he's been working in the biz for a long time, but he made this movie a long time ago called Forbidden Zone because Danny Elfman and Richard Ruffman were in a band called Oingo Boingo, which is real weird. And for some reason, like, Henry and I used to watch Forbidden Zone over and over again when we were in high school, right?

Marcus, you did the same thing, I imagine. I didn't see Forbidden Zone until long after. Oh, really? I don't know why. It was all those, like, little titty girls. Henry and I watched it too much. You guys were the ones that told me about it. Oh, I mean, it's fantastic.

Molly, don't watch it. Now, Oingo Boingo is fucking amazing and highly underrated, I think. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There was one song that was satire that does not necessarily sound like satire, but is somewhat relevant today. It's a song called Little Girls, and it's about, like, Hollywood producers, like snatching up young girls, but it does not sound like it is from the perspective of the Hollywood producer,

which was what Danny Elfman's, that's what he tried to do. But no, the, what is it, the chorus is just, I love little girls, they make me feel so good. I love little girls, they make me feel so bad. When they're around, I feel like I'm the only guy in town. And it's probably the catchiest song Oingo Boingo ever made, but since it kind of sounds like it's pro pedophilia, just a little bit,

Never really caught on. But it's supposed to have the opposite message. Opposite message, yes. Did not come through all that well. Actually, also, weird tie-in. So Bodie Elfman, who is Richard Elfman's son, is the lead in it alongside Vern Treyer. But then he was married, he's currently married to Jenna Elfman. That's an interesting thing, right?

Double Elfman. Is she? When does that ever happen? Jen Elfman, Jen Elfman's not related to Danny Elfman's clan. Is she? No. Or is she?

Interesting. Oh, wait. So Bodie Elfman, does that mean that Bodie Elfman is a Scientologist? Because isn't Jenna Elfman a big Scientologist? Maybe that's how they met. And then they were like, it's meant to be.

We're the Elfman Elfman's. I would definitely hyphenate if I married somebody with my same last name. Also, I'm going to go ahead and throw another weird on top of this. I was at this, my favorite hot dog place in the neighborhood the other day. I'm eating a hot dog. And the guy who runs the hot dog place, who is amazing, Marcus, you're going to be in town this weekend, and we are going to this fucking hot dog place. Damn. And yeah, man, it's going to be fantastic.

And his name is Big Willie. And he's an older dude. And he loves making hot dogs. And he's had this place for forever and ever. And he came over, and I can't remember exactly what he said. But he handed the hot dog over and had a quote. he said a quote for a movie and he's like if you can name him the movie

he's like I will love you forever and I was like give me a hint and he started talking about a Richard Dreyfus movie from the 90s and he's given other hints and the dude that I was with was like wait a second are you talking about

Krippendorf's tribe so he quoted Krippendorf's tribe to the two of us and now we're talking about Jen Elfman it all comes back round in a circle guys

but also do you remember Krippendorf's tribe? Wow, I see this is this is a really Hollywood story. This is like a real L.A. story. Like I imagine a stranger's coming up to each other and quoting movies all the time.

And everyone's like, oh, I know that movie. I barely remember Krippendorf's tribe. He like, it's a movie that can't be made now because it's like he's an anthropologist and I think that he like creates a tribe

in his backyard to like raise money or something. things to be like basically paints his children a different color. Oh, Jesus. He's doing it to cover up his, to cover up his misuse of grant monkeys. Wow. So he's got monkeys and he's been bad with the monkeys. So he has to create a tribe to justify how he's being bad to the monkeys.

You know, sometimes it's good that the 90s are in the past. This is 98. This was late 90s. And I remember the cover of the Blockbuster. I know I've seen it multiple times for some reason. I think it's just because my mother was obsessed with Dharma and Greg, which fair. You know what? I loved it too.

But now I kind of want to watch Krippendorf's tribe again. Ooh, Jesus, no. Oh, my God. I just showed her the cover. Oh, the cover is bad. Do you remember it from Blockbuster, though? Very much so, yeah. He's discovered the wildest tribe in his own backyard.

That is like I remember an episode like I used to watch a lot of our gang little rascal shorts when I was young. Oh yeah. And they had like a kind of reoccurring bit of the man from Borneo. And this was the 1920s and it was really racist. And they had like a beast, right? Like a beast man from Southeast Asia, I guess. I don't know where Borneo was supposed to be. I have no idea.

But he was like a beastly brown man who wore like tribal stuff. And I watched as a kid. and my parents were just like, you should know that this is like not ideal representation of how things. And I feel like that's like seeing that cover from 1998 is like the same imagery from the fucking 19, you know, 28 shit that I was watching when I was a little kid. I'm really trying to figure out what the plot of this movie is. I don't. I don't know. Natasha Leone's in it. Lily Tomlin's in it. Yeah.

Lily Tomlin. What are you thinking? Stephen Roots in it. Milakuna. Milakunas. She was in the child. Leone is in it? Wow.

I am, now that's what I'm saying. It's like, I kind of want to watch it now. Does that make me a bad person? No. As long as you don't watch it and like think it's not racist, then you're not a bad person. Thank you. If you watch it, you're like, this is accurate. Then that would be bad.

Good on them. Look at them go. And also found out that, yes, Jenna Elfman is. is a Scientologist, but her, she took Bodie Elfman's name. And Bodie Elfman was the one that introduced her to Scientology. What? Yeah. Yeah, she wasn't always like Jenna Elfman, Elfman is not her maiden name.

So she's been married to Bodie Elfman for a long time. Since 95. Wow, then when was Darmine Greg? Like, 98, 99. Wow. I always get, this is going to be an embarrassing confession on a show where, Everybody knows pop culture things, but I always get Dharma and Greg mixed up with Will and Grace. Yeah.

Okay, thank you. I'm not the only one. The only reason why I love Dharma and Greg more is because they had a dog and then the dog had a dog, and I love that. And I love that she would go with her best friend and go to all, like, to malls and things like that. They would pretend to be different characters and they would get into zany situations. Is it just like straight Will and Grace? Is it just like a guy and a girl our friends? A free-spirited yoga instructor finds true love and a conservative lawyer.

and they get married on their first date. Though they're polar opposites, her need of stability is fulfilled with him and his need of optimism is fulfilled with her. Oh, so there's no conflict. It just works out? No, there's conflict because she's really wacky and he's so straight-laced.

I see. It's Thomas Gibson. He's got the face of a lawyer. He doesn't look like fun. No, not at all. I can't remember why is it that they had, like they had to stay married for some reason, right? I thought it was just out of sheer like,

we're going to make this work, right? Yeah. Yeah, okay. Yeah, that is, they just weren't, we're going to make this work. And they both had parents and one side was conservative and the other side was liberal and it was crazy. And they had so many fights.

A lot of concepts were greenlighted in the 90s for sitcoms. I mean, this was a huge hit. I watched the shit out of it, but mostly, again, because the dog had a dog. And I thought that was the cutest thing. I had five seasons aired from 97 to 2001. Wow. That's prime years for us watching TV too.

That was like time when it's like, well, what the fuck else am I going to do at night? I'm just going to watch Darma and Greg. May as well. See, I was a must-see TV Thursdays type of gal. I did Friends, Seinfeld, and ER. I was a Thursday. I was also of the same ilk. Yeah.

Oh, man. And whatever they had, whatever crap they happen to put in between Friends and Seinfeld. Yeah, I don't even remember what came between Friends and Seinfeld. I think I did my homework between Friends and Seinfeld. They always switched it up. Sometimes it was suddenly. Susan. Oh, yeah, I remember

Someday Susan. I love Sunday Susan. I love Sunday. Oh, wait. What's the other one that they're bringing back with Candice? Oh, Murphy Brown. Why are they bringing

back Murphy Brown? She's a professional woman, Jackie. It's topical. Women are having a moment. I think that's why they're bringing her back. Did you guys watch Murphy Brown? No.

My main interest in Murphy Brown was the fact that she is the child of the famous ventriloquist, Edgar Bergen, who did... Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. What? The biggest nerd I know. That's correct. This episode I got to do my little rascals reference

and my Edgar Bergen reference. The very famous, the dummy that everybody knows is like a haunted dummy. He wasn't haunted. What was his name? Charlie McCarthy. Like from goosebumps? Yeah, like that dummy, but not a haunted. just like a straightforward regular version.

With the freckles and the buck teeth? Yeah. No, no, that's howdy-duty. This is, I think. Oh my God, Molly! Charlie McCarthy is wearing a suit, and he's got a monocle and a top hat. He's like a dandy. And Edgar Bergen was his ventriloquist, and Candice Bergen is his daughter.

Fun fact. Wait, so how does this tie in with the little rascals? Doesn't, except that I was exclusively interested in probably culture from like 1930 and earlier. But it ties in with Candace Bergen because I was like, Murphy Brown is Edgar Bergen's daughter, a famous ventriloquist. What do you know about Mortimer Snurred? Oh, God.

I actually don't know anything beyond Mortimer Snurr's name. All right, all right, yeah, yeah, because Mortimer Snurred was the other famous doll that Edgar Bergen tore it around with Charlie McCarthy and Mortimer Snurt. See, I had a chart. Charlie McCarthy myself. So that's how I know more about Charlie McCarthy. Wait, so Charlie McCarthy is a puppet. Puppet.

And a Mortimer's nerd is also a puppet. Another puppet. Another puppet. Neither one has their own Wikipedia page, though. Charlie McCarthy's cute. He's a little man. He's a little dressed up man. How did you watch this?

This was on in 1949. I love me so much. Why? Did you have other puppets? Oh, yeah. Well, I was... Why do we... We have never discussed your puppet ownership, by the day.

We never have. And also, by the way, even... Like, not only was that show on in 1949, Edgar Bergen died in 1978. I love you so much. I have three puppets currently displayed in my bedroom, two of which I made. Um, and I...

What are their names, Molly? Please, please describe them. Well, I did a puppet independent study in the Czech Republic. Wait, wait, wait. What? So they have checked names. I was in the Czech Republic to study abroad, but whilst there, I did a puppetry study.

That wasn't the, oh, you didn't go specifically to the Czech Republic to study puppet making. I went for a program called Art and Social Change about art and resistance under communism. So your focus, but is it fair to say your focus was puppetry? Absolutely fair. That's what my transcript says. So how does Eastern European puppetry differ from Western puppetry? Well, for one thing, it's widely accepted, unlike here. We're not laughing at you, Molly.

We're laughing with you. Because I'm horrified of puppets. There's a lot of marionettes, I'd say, is the main difference. There's, like, marionette theaters, like, around Prague. And, but, yeah, I mean, my main entry into puppetry was the Muppets, which is normal. And so I, like, I really, I had a book called Muppets Make Puppets, and so I made a lot of my own puppets. That was my entryway. Actually, Ed Bergen was in the Muppet movie, as himself.

Yes. Yes, totally. Yeah, but his last movie before that was Wantan Ton, the Dog who saved Hollywood. In what year? Probably the 50s, right? No, 76. Oh, 76. He started his professor, he started his Professor Quicksand.

I mean, it's worth watching some old videos of Edgar Bergen with Charlie McCarthy. He's an amazing ventriloquist. It's cool. Well, Wantan, Ton, the dog who saved Hollywood. It's got Brewster and Madeline Khan, Terry Gar, and Art Carney. Whoa. Oh, Arcarni from the Honeymooners. Oh, it's a, it's a Rin Tin Tin spoof.

It's a spoof. Oh, okay. At least that makes more sense. I mean, the man had a sense of humor. People think puppeteers take it very seriously. You know, I mean, it was a bit, you know. It was only, he only had like a cameo. Wow, there's a lot of.

cameos in this movie. You had let's see, Hennie Youngman, Rory Calhoun, Rhonda Fleming, Dean Stockwell was in this movie. Man, we gotta watch Juan Ton Ton. Victor Mature, Joshua Gabor. Wow. Doodles Weaver.

Oh, don't even get me started on Doodles Weaver. Ooh, Pedro Gonzales. Double Gonzalez? Where do I know Doodles Weaver from? I'm sorry, Molly. I'm very interested in your puppet tree. What are the, so what are the other puppets then?

The other ones in my room. I have a hand puppet that I made and I have a marionette that I made and then I have a Mozart marionette that I bought. And yes, I was very, you know, I, the Muppets Make Puppets book was much more like crafty like, you know, sock puppets and shoebox puppets and whatnot. But in the Czech Republic, I was, I had a like a puppeteer who taught me how to really make actual puppets. And so I had, like, the hand puppet is like paper machet, has like a paper machet head with paper mache hands and like a sewn body and all that.

And then the marionette is like sculpted out of clay and it has a wooden body with joints and everything. It's a real thing. I have known you for what, nine years of this point? How do I, how did I not know this, Molly? We spent so much time together. I've also, this is the first time I've ever seen you like nervous. when you're talking about something.

Be proud. Be proud of your puppetry. I guess that's it. There's your answer, though. I think that I just, even though I was, you know, performing on stage in New York City for a long time, I buried the puppetry part of myself. Perhaps that, perhaps my public life would have gone a different way

if I had busted out the puppets right from the beginning, you know? And now you can pass your love of puppetry onto your child. Oh, yes. That is... Oh, no. You're going to scare the shit out of that kid with puppets, man. That's the plan.

I hope that my displayed puppets become ingrained in the child's mind. When that kid's like 19 and like writing their first like creative short story, they're going to work in one of mom's puppets as like a nightmare imagery. When I was a kid, my mom was really into puppets.

I think puppets less creepy than doll collections. Puppet collections are less creepy than doll collections. Plus you can hang them from the ceiling and they take up less room. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. It does.

it might scare me even more just because I imagine they're just going to start talking to me at some point and I'm going to get really fucking freaked out. Well, and there is the whole haunted marionette, I mean, haunted ventriloquist dummy thing from goosebumps. Yeah. It's really kind of put a bad image of ventriloquism into all of our heads

who are of that generation. Also, honestly, personally, watching ventriloquist is also horrifying because anyone that can throw their voice like that, he's got to be like a murder. Or something, right? It's a bit un-canny.

Can't trust him. Can't trust them. It is like, you know, if you watch videos of Edgar Bergen, it is, it's, it's, I'm not going to say it's not creepy. It's amazing and cool, but also, I think, borderline creepy. I really want to watch one ton tauntan the dog. I feel like we should, maybe when you're in town, Marcus, maybe we should all watch it together.

I like that idea. Well, I just want everyone to know that, that Candice Bergen, not necessarily the most talented Bergen. Edgar. Thank you for bringing down the Thor hammer, Molly. We needed you. We needed you. Here to preach the gospel of Edgar.

All right, it's time for the list. Who's on the list? Marcus, got to have that list. Man, we didn't get to so much. We were just, man, we went on a puppet roll. Sorry, Jesus Christ Superstar, but, you know, you're amazing.

Jesus Christ Superstar, fuck. Maybe we could tell you. Actually, the list this week is kind of kind of crappy. Yeah. It's like, you know, celebrities who are Roman Catholics. Do you want to just talk about Jesus Christ Superstar instead? We can do it in list format.

And also the blind items were really awful this week as well. Like, I've just got one thing about, like, Puff Daddy having to go to Dubai to, like, pay a debt. And he's not going to enjoy how he's going to have to pay it. Yeah, maybe we can buck tradition and talk a little bit about Jesus Christ Superstar. Yeah, so you already sang the song. Now it's time for blind items. Oh, we can't see them. All right, you guys talk about Jesus Christ Superstar.

These are not blind. These are out in the open. Which R&B Singer, who's married to a sassy Twitter personality, played our Lord and Savior in a live televised musical event on Sunday night, which was so good. Oh, my God. They have nailed the format of live musicals on TV. We were there at the beginning when it was Peter Pan Live and it was trash.

And now they have come full circle. to having it be perfect and flawless. So, Molly, you were a fan of Jesus Christ Superstar before this, yes? You know, I was, I had seen the movie, and I like all Andrew Led Weber musicals, so I wouldn't say that I was like a fan in the sense that I could have given you, like, a total synopsis of everything that happens, but I was familiar with the biggest hits, familiar with the music, and had seen the totally weird 70s movie. All I know from Jesus Christ Superstar, and I actually don't even know if this is an actual song

from Jesus Christ Superstar but I just like just always think Jesus Christ Superstar That's the song Okay that's in there baby That's the actual song Are you think there

Do you think you're what they say you are Yeah that's this that's like Jesus Christ Yeah Superstar Yeah yeah okay That's the song The other there's a lot of good songs

One of them is I don't know how to love him Which is a song about Mary Magdalens singing about how she has a crush on Jesus Oh, that's sweet. Very sweet. Yeah, but they also really bring up how she was such a ho in that song. Yeah, in that song, she's like, I've been with many men.

But I really like this one for some fucking reason. Yeah, I can't explain. I don't know how to have a crush on Jesus, basically. And then there's a lot of songs, like, basically the main character is Judas. And he, of course, is, you know, betrays him. But it's like a... It's not giving away a spoiler. Spoiler.

Yeah, whoa, please, come on. Judas between Jesus. I haven't seen it. But the whole play is kind of about the complicated friendship of Judas and Jesus and kind of what leads Judas to be like, Jesus is, Jesus has this out of control. And he's worried that Jesus is like going against the Roman Empire so much that the Roman Empire is going to backlash and hurt all of the Jewish people. And so he's like, Jesus is too big. He's got to be stopped.

And Judas was played by Brandon V. Dixon is his name, I think, who plays Aaron Burr and Hamilton. and is sexy. Did you see him? Oh, yeah, he is sexy. People on Twitter were calling him Leather Daddy Judas, which is pretty accurate. Of course Judas should be a leather daddy.

Yeah. Honestly, Judas is the sexiest one, right? Yes, yes. Judas is a million times sexier than Jesus. Yeah. And people on Twitter were also making a lot of jokes about how Jesus, aka John Legend, was wearing like the Kanye Yeezy fashion line.

Yeah, I saw some pictures. he did seem to be a little easy like. It was very easy. And then the... Did you see the repertoire back and forth between Bill O'Reilly and Christy Teigen, though? We're going to get into the Chrissy Teigen stuff. But Bill O'Reilly tweeted,

watching J.C. superstar on NBC, who knew Jesus of Nazareth ran a tattoo parlor? Geez. And then to retort, Chrissy Teigen said, yeah, the shop specializes in cover-ups that aren't $32 million. And, like, at the... Because I guess he had to pay off somebody

that threatened to sue him for alleged sexual misconduct. Yeah, that was... That's a banger. Also, what's so funny about Bill O'Reilly tweeting about Jesus Christ Superstars, he's like, well, this tattoo, whereas, like, the whole point of Jesus Christ Superstar is that it was written in the 70s, and it was like, what if the story of Jesus was told

in like a groovy 70s way? So it's, like, not a traditional Bible story. Yeah, it's like the youth pastor that's like, you know who is the original hippie? Yes, exactly. Like, in the 70s movie, they're all wearing lounge suits and stuff. And so the idea that he's like,

this is not a traditional Jesus Christ superstar representation. Like the whole point is that it's like hip and like a rock star thing. But yeah, it was fucking fantastic. It was so good. And there was the extra delight of Chrissy Teigen live tweeting it, which was like a joy upon a joy. She's so fantastic.

But also I watch, I mean, it seems like John Legend nailed it, get it. Crucified. He got crucified. He nailed it. Guys, come on. Nailed it. Jesus Christ.

But guys, he nailed it. Come on, Crucifixion, Joe. No, but he seriously, he, I, most of my respect for John Legend, and this is not a dig at him, I just didn't really, I don't really know his music. And he just, most of my respect for him came from Chrissy Degan. I was like, he's with Chrissy Degan, he must rule. And after watching him, like, at first I was like, oh, is he about to get, like, outshown by a bunch of Broadway, like, career. Broadway actors, and he did great. I am now, like, completely impressed with John Legend in a way that before I was just

like, whatever, John Legend's fine. He doesn't know the words to Sweet Caroline, which is fine. We learned that at one of those award shows. I don't like that song anyway. Yeah. You don't like to pop, pop, pop, come on, Marcus. I'm over it. I'm over, I understand.

I'm over, ba, blah, blah, I'm over ba, blah, blah. It makes me think of drunk douchebags at a karaoke part. Yeah, unfortunately. Exactly. But he did so good. John Legend did so, so, so good as Jesus. And the whole thing was like, you know, it was, it's hard to capture live theater on tape. But they, they had like, the pit orchestra was like on stage with them. And it was like a really industrial looking set. And they really like they did the like the thing that's cool about theater where it's not about special effects, but you can do cool shit like physical shit with the set. They just made it. It was like a cool live theater. experience on television, which is whereas, like, in the old days, Peter Pan Live and even Sound of Music Live, and I like Sound of Music, but, like, it was just like, this is, like, the worst aspects of community theater and the worst aspects of, like, trying to tape something live and

then televise it. And they've just, it was like, they've really found their way here. And then Alice Cooper was there as King Harrod, which was, like, delightful. That's fun. Yeah. How was he? He did great. It was, like, not awkward at all.

I was like, oh, this is where the whole thing's going to crash and burn. No, he did fantastic. He actually sang, like, you know, on key, really, like, dynamically. It was like, there was nothing embarrassing about the entire production. Honestly, he's still killing it. You guys remember when I went to go see Hollywood Vampires, and I made fun of Johnny Depp on stage, and Joe Perry got real sick and got carded offstage.

But Alice Cooper killed it the entire time, and he's older than both of them. Yeah, he's definitely at least 70. We looked it up, and now I forget, but he is at least 70, if not older. And he had his eyeliner on. He looked exactly like Alice Cooper. He was playing essentially Alice Cooper. But it was just stellar. And most of the actors were like career Broadway actors.

I feel like John Legend was like the main like pop star and then Alice Cooper. And then everyone else was a Broadway actor. And they just did so good. I had so much fun. And I was like, this is like actually, I don't even identify as somebody who likes musicals that much. But I was like, this makes, I mean, but I'm not. Not like, yeah, I should probably, we should probably take that back. Yeah, yeah, pull out and back a little bit.

Let's flip that one around. But I guess I have, what I realized was that I do love musicals. Confess it's time, Molly. It's okay. We accept you. Musicals and puppets. It's fine. Musicals and puppets.

And I think that this, I mean, I do like Andrew Lloydweber musicals. And I feel like they did a, this is a, I think this is a very interesting musical. And Peter Pan, not for nothing, I've been in Peter Pan the musical. I just think it's a shitty musical. And so that was part of it. But also, the Wiz Live was awesome. So I feel like doing kind of more modern musicals and with a modern casting interpretation, right? This was like a very diverse Jesus Christ superstar. And it was, I just feel like it was like, let's make this, like, not seem like an old-fashioned musical, which is I feel like how a lot of people think about musicals. Let's make it seem like relevant. And I just feel like it's, and I just feel like it was like,

And I was just so happy about it. It said I'm so not religious that I confuse that and Joseph in the amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. But I think that that's totally fair because they're both Andrew Lloyd Weber and they're both biblical Andrew Lloyd Weber musicals. So I think that it's okay. Right. That's fine.

Isn't Joseph Andrew Lloyd Weber? Yeah. Yeah. Isn't it? I think so. I've been listening to a lot of Andrew Lloyd Weber. It is. Best of lists on Spotify.

Oh, they got best ofs on there. Oh, do they? I'll give it a run I did really love reading all of Chrissy Teagan's tweets because she also had no fucking idea what the show was about Yeah she didn't care at all

She didn't care She just kept like I wish I could see which Clip she was referring to Because she's like I have no idea what's going on I'm assuming these people are bad Cause coats So I guess whoever was bad had bad coats on It was the Jewish high priests who wanted to kill Jesus

They were bad they had bad coats What kind of coats? What do they mean bad coats? Like big kind of, they look like they looked like they were from like the empire in Star Wars. They had like big shoulder pad black knee-length coats. Gotcha. Oh, that's definitely an evil coat for sure. And the guy, like the head Jewish high priest who wanted to kill Jesus was also the same actor who was the first black Phantom.

And he had a really good, terrifying evil vibe going on, which I assume he cultivated by being Phantom. So it was definitely You know I was spending most of the time watching it Like during commercials I would like read Plot synopsises of what was going on Because the whole thing is a rock opera There's no dialogue

So It's not for the faint of heart If you don't like rock operas When you said Black Phantom I had to like search through To make sure like it was like Oh it's talking about Phantom of the Opera Because I thought for the first for a second

I was like Is she talking about a superhero? It sounds like either a superhero or like a metal, like a metal thing. He is a superhero of the stage. I do really sound like a musical theater kid right now. Oh, I love it though. Especially, man, then it's just, I just,

Chrissy Teak, and the second the show starts, she just wrote, he has risen. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. That was her only, that was her tweet on it. And she also wrote, I can't wait to learn about Jesus and some superstars. She did nothing. nothing. I mean, it was a great way for me as a non-Christian person to observe Easter. I was like,

I'm interested in learning about what happened between Judas and Jesus, and I did a lot of Wikipedia reading about it. And for Easter, I went to Jim Jones's father's grave. And I was drinking wine in a hot tub. So, you know, everyone celebrates differently. That's all we got to have for page seven. Thank you all very much for joining us. Hell yeah. Thank you so much. and please visit our Patreon page. It is patreon.com slash page seven podcast, seven the number. And please, if you're interested, follow me on fucking Instagram at Jack the Worm. And I'm on Instagram also.

I'm MJK. L.C. L.C. But I got to say, Jackie's Instagram is delightful. So just follow her twice. You know, I keep getting a lot of things saying people don't understand what I mean, but you know what? I think that I got bad jargon. Is that bad? No. See, that's the thing is that I know exactly what you mean.

Every single time. Yeah. But we also have known you for a very long time and have gotten used to Jackie speak. And the thing about that is that we know, Marcus and I know, that Jackie talks like this in regular business emails. Like the way that she talks on her Instagram is how she actually talks in a functioning, you got to get stuff done email. So it's not an act. That's really how she's done. I feel bad.

I'm like, oh my God, am I? Does my brain not work anymore? But it makes perfect sense to me. It's like, we'll be like, hey, is it good to, like, record at 3.30? And Jack, you'd be like, I guz my pus. That means, actually, there have been a couple of times where I have had to actually text you back. It's like, does that mean yes? Or I've sat and, like, stared at the text.

You'd be like, I think that means yes. Fuck. But I don't want to, like, I don't want to ask if it means yes or not. so I'm going to have to maybe ask a follow-up question to see. It's true. And then sometimes, like, if I'm in a hurry, I'll just write back like, okay, see you then. And I'm like, I feel like I'm negating your buzz buzz language. I just like to keep it interesting, guys.

That's all. Of course. It's true. All right. We'll talk to you all next week. Love you guys. Bye. Bye.