Page 7 - Episode 250: The Fest of Wrestle

Episode Date: April 19, 2018

Jackie, Molly & Marcus chat about wrestling, baby headphones and #Beychella. Thanks to Felix Gray for sponsoring this episode. Go to http://felixgrayglasses.com/page7 to try a pair of Felix Gray g...lasses today! To get 40% of your first order, visit http://mylola.com and enter Page7. Want to help the show? Take our confidential survey! goo.gl/forms/K1O5fuaUCL8WlfOQ2 Patreon subscribers get even more hot goss! www.patreon.com/page7podcast Surf Shimmy, Deuces, Rainbow Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Lice Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 What's up, was that, my little tidly winks. It is Jackie here. I got a quick favor to ask of all of you guys today. Thank you so much for listening over the years, but we do need a little bit of your help. You could just fill out the survey that's in the description of the show today, or it's also on my Instagram at Jack That Worm.
Starting point is 00:00:18 That would be awesome. It's only going to take a few seconds. I swear, all of the information is confidential, and we don't take emails or names. That would help us so much. Thank you guys for everything. Love you, love you, love you. Hit it with page seven.
Starting point is 00:00:34 This episode is brought to you by Felix Gray and Lola. I make them hot. I make them shiver. Their knees get weak. Whenever I'm around, they see me walk. I make them feel like their own cloud nine, because I'm a sexy boy. Sexy boy, not your boy, toy, toy.
Starting point is 00:01:12 Sexy boy, not your boy, toy. I can't hit those notes, but neither could Sean Michaels. I see that you have been going back into the past of the WWF and checking out a little bit of Sean Michaels. Welcome to page seven, everyone. I'm Marcus Parks. I'm Molly. I could listen to you sing that song all day, Jackie. That was nice.
Starting point is 00:01:36 Thank you very much. I'm Jackie Zabrowski. And I feel like this song has been really getting me through the week. I've been singing it to myself, and I've got to say, it's making me feel like a goddamn rock star. Yeah, sexy boy was the entrance theme song to 90s Sean Michaels. Really? Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 00:01:56 What a good entrance theme. It's a great entrance theme. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, Sean Michaels was, he was great. He was known for ladder matches. High Flyer. Man, I have been going down a wrestling hole, and I'm starting to feel very sexy because of it.
Starting point is 00:02:11 And I once have found, if you look on Spotify, there is a whole album of wrestling theme songs. Yes. and please get into it. It's fantastic. I mean, you guys know that I was insanely attracted to the Undertaker for years and years and years. No, we did not know that. Yeah, I'm not sure if I didn't know that.
Starting point is 00:02:30 That you really presented that as if it was a... Well, we may have mentioned Undertaker as like a scary daddy. Yeah. I mean... There's something about the hair. I love that he had it so gelled that it looks like he was covered in sweat constantly, you know? I remember the Undertaker. Were you not into it, Molly?
Starting point is 00:02:47 You're looking at me like, I'm crazy. I can't remember what he looks like. I remember The Undertaker in sixth grade. That was the only year of my life that I was into wrestling. But I have to say, I'm looking forward to talking about wrestling because I feel like I have a bit of a not on-purpose closed mind, but an on-accident closed mind. What year was sixth grade for you?
Starting point is 00:03:09 1997? Whoa, you remembered that year very easily. I'd have to go back and count. I know it's because it's the year that I was, Remember, as we've discussed, I was watching the VH1 top 10, and it was a good year for pop music, the year of How Bizarre, and Kiss the Billy Myers, Kiss the Rain, which is something we've discussed. You love Kiss the Rain, and every time I hear it, I think about you. Whenever you need me. I could listen to that song all day.
Starting point is 00:03:39 I think my sixth grade was 97 to 98, I think. All right. I found a picture of Undertaker 1997. Are you sure, Jackie? Oh, I'm all kinds of sure. You know I like weirdos. I mean, he is a terrifying person. No, he's a strong silent type, and that's what I enjoy.
Starting point is 00:04:02 Are we talking long-hair goatee undertaker? Did you like him when he had, there was one way he had a short hair and a long-go-tie or a long-hair and no-go-teeat-tie? Long-haired no-go-tee. I'll tell you this, just so you know, the Undertaker is a very nice man named Mark in real life. You just want to kiss his big face. He's got a big face.
Starting point is 00:04:22 But also the Undertaker theme song is awesome. It's rock and roll, baby. And I've been listening to it before I enter different places and it just makes me feel empowered. I mean, I feel like I, as the song that you sang at the beginning of the show has shown me, I don't think that I have, again, I don't think that I associate like really good music with wrestling and that might be an error on my part.
Starting point is 00:04:52 Actually, I think it is. There are some really solid wrestling themes out there. Yeah. Yeah, the entertainment or the mankind one, both of them, both the creepy one and the car crash one are both really fun. It's a little bit amazing to me that wrestling has been at what, at least a 30 year industry, right? Oh, no, longer than that. Longer than that. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:05:11 You should watch the Andre the Giant documentary from me. more information on that. I should. This is what started. My whole wrestling kick is the Andre the Giant documentary, which honestly, all I knew about Andre the Giant, giantism died young and that he was in the Princess Bride. That's it. That's all I knew about it. And I saw the preview
Starting point is 00:05:27 for the documentary and I was moved, but I have not watched it yet. Well, Princess Bride was at the end of his career, just a couple of years before he died. In fact, they had to lower Robin Wright into his arms. You know, the scene where she falls and he catches her, she was actually on cables them because he was
Starting point is 00:05:43 too weak and beaten up and broken down to actually just hold Robin Wright, who has to be, what, 110 pounds? Yeah. Just, it made me so, I cried for a long time after I watched it. It's very moving. It's very upsetting. He had a very hard life, right? Well, he had, I mean, it was hard physically, but he lived life the way he wanted to live it, God damn it. And that's really inspiring. Uh-huh.
Starting point is 00:06:11 What's kind of insane is what I didn't know about, Judge. Giganticism. I think that's the street name for it. Agro-Megel syndrome. What is it? Agro-Megaly. I think it's called agromegaly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the scientific, yeah. Big people times. Is it you can stop it if you catch it early enough.
Starting point is 00:06:29 And if you don't, he just kept growing. His organs kept growing. His body kept growing. It just keeps going because apparently Tony Robbins also had it too. And if you find out early enough, you can stop it. Yeah. And he knew he could have stopped it. He's like, no, I want to. to stay like this. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:06:46 There might have been some sort of side effects. I won't be big forever. And was he... What was he French? I don't know. He was French, yeah, yeah. Was his career, like, was he... I will watch, I will watch the documentary
Starting point is 00:06:58 because I'm interested, but was he, like, exploited? Is it, like, a tail... He was totally, like, self-guiding. 100% the whole time. Nobody told Andre the Giant what to do. Interesting. Yeah. Yeah, except for the end with fucking Vince McMahon.
Starting point is 00:07:12 I didn't know he was such a fucking. Man is one of the most sociopathic people on earth. I didn't know. I mean, the only time I ever really watched wrestling was to googie-gaggy over the dudes when I was in middle school. You know, Brett the hitman heart, yummy, yummy, want to lick the sweat off of it. And honestly, throwing it out there, the Bushwacker twins would have loved them both. Jesus.
Starting point is 00:07:36 I don't know if I've ever been attracted to a professional wrestler that I can Remember. I think you could maybe be into Xbox. Can we see? No, let me see. You know my type. Does he look like he could be in an emo band? What is he stringy?
Starting point is 00:07:54 Is he wearing a hoodie? He's very stringy. He was a part of Degeneration X. All right. I'm trying to find a not recent picture of Sean Michael. Oh, not Sean Michael's Xbox. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:08 He looks like Keanu Reeves. Yeah, also known as the one, two, three kid. Yeah Yikes That's not good In the bedroom Yeah he is a little stringy Okay
Starting point is 00:08:20 All right ex pod What's his name? X X-P X-P X-P Oh You with you
Starting point is 00:08:28 Hey kids Are you watching Your ex-pod again You're already Don't even have the baby Eddie And you're already An awkward mom
Starting point is 00:08:37 I can't wait I love being a teacher Because I'm already able to just be out of touch completely And irritate people about it and it's going to get even better when I have my own kid.
Starting point is 00:08:47 Yeah, what are you doing over there, eh? Oh, is it a teddy bear? Oh, no, I don't know. I just imagine you backing out of many rooms of like, oh, no, you keep doing what you're doing. You watch your Monday Night Raw. Go ahead. Are you going to let the baby watch wrestling young? I mean, if the baby wants to watch wrestling, I don't know who will have introduced the baby to wrestling because it won't have been either of their parents, but I know that censoring what they want to do will only turn into a backlash, so I guess I will let them watch wrestling. Yeah, kids love wrestling.
Starting point is 00:09:20 Yeah. I mean, I only, I mean, I watched it with like all my cousins and stuff like that. And it was just like an excuse to be a part of the boys. But in reality, yeah, I had to keep it on the inside how much I wanted to slip and slide all over them. Yeah, that was exactly in sixth grade, like me and my two friends who were boys, we just like used it as we just like liked we just watched wrestling and then would like wrestle with each other and it was all kind of a subverted sexual expression I get you there yeah which I assume it is even
Starting point is 00:09:50 with boys amongst each other sometimes I mean maybe not like it was just like an excuse to touch people you know I don't know if we ever used it as that mostly it was just like all getting together and watching a bunch of dudes beat the fuck out of each other yeah and but then also getting your soap opera at the same time because it's absolutely a soap opera so you're getting your drama as well. But then also don't you want to try out the moves on each other? Yeah, we definitely tried out the moves on each other, but it was mostly in a bit to hurt each other. Uh-huh.
Starting point is 00:10:18 Yeah. And to imitate and all that. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's, because are you aware of Bruno Samartino, the Italian Superman? I know that. He died today. He died today.
Starting point is 00:10:28 And everyone was very, very sad about it. He's not my thing, but I definitely would have jumped on it. Really? He's very strong. Yeah, he's very strong, but. You have the strangest. type, Jackie. I like strong men.
Starting point is 00:10:43 Is that so wrong? It's not. No, there's nothing wrong with that. It's just the Undertaker. I think I'm still thrown by the Undertaker, honestly. Oh, my God, but you can climb them like a goddamn tree. What about Mick Foley? Mick Foley also seems like your type.
Starting point is 00:10:58 I don't remember what Mick Foley looks like. His name was, he was alternately Mankind, dude love, and Cactus Jack. Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, mankind. Yeah. One of the things about wrestling that amazes me is how much knowledge there is to keep in your head and how much people who watch wrestling have this. It's like people who like baseball and they know all their stats.
Starting point is 00:11:20 People who like wrestling have so much information in their head. I mean, I have been watching. I was obsessed with wrestling from probably like 10 to about like 16. And then I got a driver's license and a guitar and then kind of forgot all about wrestling. but I had so much knowledge about who won what SummerSlam and who like what Monday Night Raw did mankind turn on the rock and all that type of shit because that was the heyday of the rock that was like that's when Jwayne Johnson started becoming an actor
Starting point is 00:11:53 I was like the rock that's weird that's funny oh my God his his theme song is insane he's another one that created his own theme song and it's just like do you smell what the rock is cooking. Ha! And that's it. And it's like that over and over again. It's very, it's all like spoken word slam poetry to this like rock and roll background, but he doesn't even try to sing.
Starting point is 00:12:17 It's like, why did you do it yourself? Did you know that was Dwayne Johnson's catchphrase? I did know that that was his catchphrase. And I do net, it's like one of those things where I know that he started as a wrestler, but at this point that's almost like an abstraction, you know? It's like the fact that Will Smith started as a rapper. Like I know that academically. But I don't even think about it because I so associate Dwayne Johnson with his acting career and now potentially his political career.
Starting point is 00:12:46 I will vote for him. Are you kidding? I love him so much. That's no, I feel. I'm like, all right, all right, the rock. You seem like a nice guy. Both are you. The problem.
Starting point is 00:12:57 The problem extended. You know what you are, Marcus, you're being a gibrony right now. You know what? Yeah! I am being a gibrony right now. I'm fine with that. You know what? I'm sticking to the rock-em-sock-em connection.
Starting point is 00:13:14 That was when the rock and mankind were together. I'm sticking with the mandible claw. What's that? Is that another sexy man? No, it's when mankind used to put a sock on his hand and then shove his hand down other dude's throats. Wait, why did he put the sock on his hand? First, why didn't he just put his hand in their mouths?
Starting point is 00:13:31 Because it's Mr. Sacco. Mr. Sacco was his little sidekick that was like a sock that he put on his hand and he talked to him, Hey, Mr. Sacco! And then Mr. Sacco would also come out when he was doing his finisher, the mandible claw. Molly, does that make you more attracted to mankind? Because of the puppets? I don't know. Marcus just brought a picture of Mankind up and he looks like he is in a BDSM video and not in a good way.
Starting point is 00:13:57 That was part of his whole thing. Not necessarily BDSM, but that he was. just a weirdo, you know? Kind of a Texas chainsaw masker type of thing. That's a picture of mankind of Mr. Sophan. I feel like the mask is a big part of the packet. Yeah, but he has such kind eyes and such amazing hair. Oh, actually he looks great.
Starting point is 00:14:20 Right, kind eyes. Nice guy. Thumbs up. He's wearing a flannel shirt. All right. I love flannel shirts. Oh, yeah. Specifically flannel shirts with the sleeves cut off.
Starting point is 00:14:32 Hubba. That's my style too. We would look fantastic together. Without his, I'm going to tie you up mask on. I can get behind him a little bit more. One more interesting fact about McFolly. He's obsessed with Christmas and has an entire Christmas room in his mansion where it's always Christmas. That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard.
Starting point is 00:14:57 Wait, that's right. That's how I know McFollies, because we saw the, uh, He's got a whole, a documentary called I Am Santa Claus. That's all about Christmas music and shit. Because he loves Christmas so much. I mean, very weird. There was a thread in the Facebook group that was like, if you had a celebrity amount of money,
Starting point is 00:15:17 what would you do? Like, what kind of luxurious thing would you treat yourself to? So I thought was a very interesting question. And apparently the answer for him is Christmas room. Yeah. Which is, you know, I guess all power to him. I feel like Jackie would enjoy the Christmas room. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:15:34 I'd get in there. As long as I got presents every time I walked into the Christmas room, that would be fine. Just like, you know, shower me in presents and then I'm into it. I don't know if there's like a present receptacle that you can just take presents from when you walk in, but there might be. See, that's, I wanted to be like toys for tots, but it's toys for Jackie. And like a sexy Santa whose lap you can sit on every time. That would be McFolly. Uh-huh.
Starting point is 00:15:59 Yeah, but I don't know. It really turned me off and. Like in Bad Santa, when Lauren Graham's, like, banging him in the hot time, I was like, fuck me Santa, fuck me Santa. I don't know if I could do that. Yeah, I don't want to fuck Santa. That's weird. Yeah, it's too many childhood things all wrapped into one.
Starting point is 00:16:13 The Easter Bunny, though, I'd try him on for size. Did you see that Easter Bunny porno that was like on Porn Hub for a few weeks there, like around Easter time? Because Pornhub's very good about putting, what is it, like season-specific, holiday-specific videos on the front page. And they had a really fun one with the Easter Bunny. having a threesome with a couple of ladies. It was really fun.
Starting point is 00:16:35 Was it, how did, where did the dick come out? Just out of the costume. Uh-huh. Just a whole. I think I'd be way more into like the white rabbit from Alice in Wonderland. Remember the live action Alice in Wonderland when we were kids that like, they're like, I'm late, I'm late. But at least you can still see his face, you know?
Starting point is 00:16:56 No, this is like a mall Easter Bunny costume. Mm, that's rough. I think I'd rather just like bang someone that just came out of like a mental institution that just thinks he's the answer. I'm like, hide the eggs, baby. I'll find them. Sorry, just a regular horny Wednesday over here. You're really entering, you're entering furry territory, I think, once you fucking Easter Bunny. Yeah, you're definitely.
Starting point is 00:17:25 Oh, you're our edging, edging in a furry territory. Although it's not like the furry style because the furry style is very specific. Like it's a, it's got a, like, it's like one dude drew a picture of a furry 20 years ago, and that just became the standard. Yeah, it's like Pokemon, but like for furries. But I guess my concern would be like the matting of the suit. It's a problem. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:49 And just moisture in general. And making sure it's clean. Yes. You know, I feel like those suits are never cleaned. Yeah. I think when they go, I have heard that the conventions have a definite musk that kind of permeates throughout the whole. tell. Uh-huh.
Starting point is 00:18:04 It's like those fuzzy pillows. You ever have a fuzzy pillow and you spill something on it? You can never get it quite off, so it's always kind of like crumpled up and rough in spots. A little matted. Yeah. Yeah. I don't want my sordy bird anywhere near that.
Starting point is 00:18:20 I feel like it would chafe. Yeah, and I feel like it wouldn't be pleasant for the person, if the person with a dick is inside the suit. I feel like that wouldn't necessarily be pleasant either. Hmm. Don't they have holes, Marcus? Don't the fuzzy costumes? like if you're like a bangable fuzzy, don't they got pee-p-holes?
Starting point is 00:18:35 I think they do, yeah. But wouldn't there, what's the material that your dick is coming through? I just feel like it might be scratchy. The scratchy? I mean, I'm sure these are all logistical problems that the furry community solved decades ago. Yeah, there's probably really good lining. They got to have something that or like a union suit where you have a butt flappy, right? Could be.
Starting point is 00:18:54 Yeah, but that's not going to help you get your dick out. No, but it helps, you know, open up other opportunities, whatever you're into. That's true. There's not a whole lot that comes up with when you Google furry logistics. Unfortunately. They got to get their search engine optimization going. I just wonder if it's more like a flashlight kind of material where the peepee comes out. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:19:20 Silicon. Yeah. It's like a nice and you've got to get it lubed up. Yeah. And so then it's extra, it's extra pussy on your peepee. Huh. Right? Or am I a thousand years old?
Starting point is 00:19:34 I'm not sure. I don't know. That sounds nice. I mean, I think all three of us are a thousand years old when it comes to furry behavior. I don't know. The furry stuff's been going on since the 90s. I mean, technically, they're furries came of age long before the three of us did. You know, good on them.
Starting point is 00:19:54 Yeah. They must have figured it out by now because it's like you don't want to get it from one of those rental spots. Yeah. You know, you want to have your own cost. There's got to be a whole set. There's got to be, I'm sure that if you do this regularly, that all of these issues have come up and they have probably figured them out
Starting point is 00:20:09 and plan around them. And any furry who might be listening to this conversation is like, God, what do you think we're stupid? Of course we figured this out. I think that I would rather, it's like if I was a furry, I would probably go out and just spend the money and create a costume that's like a Bambi with my eyes and my lips on it.
Starting point is 00:20:26 You know, like a baby deer. But I also can barely walk like a baby deer. Uh-huh. That'll be my thing. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Well, apparently this story in Vox says that being a furry is not necessarily a sex thing. It's not necessarily a fetish thing.
Starting point is 00:20:42 You might just want to be a furry blanket? A thunder blanket. Yeah, like for puppies. When they like having it on them because the weight of it makes them feel safe. So when it's thundering outside, you put it on them and they feel safe and comfortable. So I imagine that sometimes you just want to wear a costume and you don't want to be you anymore. I get it. That sounds great, actually.
Starting point is 00:21:02 Actually, that seems to be a lot closer to what the reality actually is. Interesting. So there's all sorts of misinformation out there. There's a lot of non-eroticism when it goes on with furries. I mean, I love dressing up in costumes. I think that that's what led many of us to performance. And so it's really not that many steps away. However, we can't, a poll was done at the Furry Fiesta 2013 convention.
Starting point is 00:21:26 And 96.3% of the male respondents said that they've used. furry pornography while 78.3% of the female ones looked at furry pornography. The women are there just like, oh, these trash men always want to fuck in the suits. Jesus, men reported looking at furry porn 41.5 times per month. That's more than once a day. I don't look at porn more than once a day, if every day. You've never gone through periods of time that you look at porn more than once a day? Periods of time, but that's not like the norm.
Starting point is 00:21:58 Periods of time, meaning between five to ten days of month where you got to just go back for two. Let's just say sometimes it happens. Let's just say habits vary. Yeah. You know, you're watching Outlander. I can't start rubbing at two Outlanders specifically, although I've thought about it, but usually I stop it and I'll just watch porn instead.
Starting point is 00:22:20 I mean, certainly, lest we, none of us shall cast stones at furies because most of this show is talking about the different fantasy characters we want to fuck. That is true. We do talk about that quite a bit. It's just that they're not in furry costumes. That's the thing. Like The Rock, who I would like to consummate my sexual head relationship with, that would be fantastic. A lot of us spend hours in front of a computer at work, so we know staring at a screen can get exhausting.
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Starting point is 00:24:25 I feel like Idriselba is the number one. But The Rock, I would definitely fuck the Rock. and like can't help but think about it when I look at him. I mean, especially when, so I started reading through all this stuff that he was opening up about his depression, Molly, you are going to want to bang him even more after everything that he said about its depression and coming out about everything because he also is a very sensitive big man. And I love that so much. And he just said, struggle and pain is real.
Starting point is 00:24:52 I was devastated and depressed. But then yada, yada, yada. It's like, it took me a long time to realize it, but the key is not to be afraid to open up, especially us dudes have a tendency to keep it in. You're not alone. Aw, I'm a rock. I like the rock. But you know why he became a wrestler?
Starting point is 00:25:07 Because he was going to go into football because he played football. But his mom had such debilitating depression that the third time she tried to kill herself was in front of him and she threw herself into oncoming traffic. And he stopped and like ran out into traffic. Saved her because like they had just like lost their apartment again. They had no money. He comes from nothing, and he ended up not going to college because he wanted to take care of her, and he didn't want to leave her alone. So the only other thing that, like, with his bra, he realized, hey, I could create a character.
Starting point is 00:25:39 I should go into wrestling, and that's how he started wrestling. Jesus. Wow. I didn't know about all that. Marry me, please. Take care of me for the rest of my life, you big, beautiful man. Wow. No wonder The Rock needs to talk about his emotions.
Starting point is 00:25:55 That's a lot to go through. Well, wrestling was also like the family business. In the Rock's family? Mm-hmm. The Family Rock. A family rock. How was it the family business? I didn't get that far.
Starting point is 00:26:05 I was just too busy looking at his pictures and going, Mm-hmm. His dad was a wrestler, Rocky Johnson. Rocky Johnson. Oh, that's why he's the Rock. That makes more sense. Yeah, that's why he's the Rock. And he's got like other, like, there's like cousins and brothers.
Starting point is 00:26:20 Like, they're all, it's just like a wrestling family. But there's a lot of wrestling families out there. The hearts, like there was like, Brett. Hart, no in Hart. Rick Flair, his daughter Charlotte, she wrestles now. There's a, yeah, a lot of families that just, they all go into it. I got to say, this conversation has me
Starting point is 00:26:36 uncomfortably remembering the Hulk Hogan sex tape. Oh, feel like a fucking pig. Oh, God, ain't so much pork. Oh, God. Too much barbecue. Well, especially watching him the Andre the Giant documentary, I was just like, oh, Hulk
Starting point is 00:26:51 Hogan, and then I remembered that, and I remembered how his phone rang in the middle of fucking Bubba the Love Spunge's wife and it was Brooke Hogan, his daughter's song that played and he answered the phone while he was inside of another woman. No, I don't remember
Starting point is 00:27:08 it like that. He wasn't, it was, no. Yes. He was done. Don't play the tape. Don't play the tape. They were, it's impossible to find now. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I don't think he was actually inside Bubble the Love Spunge's wife
Starting point is 00:27:23 when he answered the phone from his daughter and it's it's his daughter his daughter was calling so of course he had the song as the ringtone I mean boner killer yeah yeah not for him he had too much pork
Starting point is 00:27:38 he's got a bonus for days no Hulk Hogan comes off in the documentary comes off as a surprisingly sensitive really yeah like a very like kind of a sweet he has his issues but yeah he came off as like a surprisingly
Starting point is 00:27:53 sensitive person And you even got to see... It was really sweet. Yeah. And you even get to see Vince McMahon be a human for like half a second. I don't know. He forced him to keep wrestling when he was dying. When his whole body hurt.
Starting point is 00:28:06 Why did he make him keep wrestling? That made me so upset. I had to stop the documentary and yell at the television because I was that upset. Well, Andre the Giant could have said no. Yeah, but he's a performer. Yeah. We never say no. He's like the CEO, basically.
Starting point is 00:28:22 He's the father. or yeah, he's the father of modern wrestling. Uh-huh. Yeah, yeah, he's the guy. The wrestling would not be what it is today without Vince McMahon. Uh-huh. His dad started the whole business, but Vince McMahon took it to the next level. And, and Jackie, will you tell me why everyone is so upset about John Sina and his lovely wife?
Starting point is 00:28:40 And apparently John Sina is really good, right? He's like a nice, charming person who everybody loves. Yeah. He's, like, in good culture things and maybe also has good politics. Like... Very popular, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and he just started acting, too.
Starting point is 00:28:53 He's in that what is? Is it called, like, cock blockers or something? It's some kind of, like, parent movie about emojis, and what do they mean? Oh, my God, parents can be such cock blockers. Yeah, those ads are. Like, yeah, you're in high school. Stop fucking. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:29:08 It's not good. It's not good. You may as well wait. Wait until later on, and then you can have more fun. And you don't have to fuck in your high school bedroom. But that's just me. I had my forays. I understand.
Starting point is 00:29:21 But everyone's upset because it's like, to them, it's the Bay and Jay of wrestling. Yeah. You know, she's a wrestler, he's a wrestler. She has her own reality show with her, because she's a wrestler with her twin sister. And they have a reality show, which I watched a few episodes of.
Starting point is 00:29:37 It's called Total Divas, and I love it, and I love her. I love everything about them. I understand why everyone's so upset now. But the whole thing from the beginning is it, so he proposed to her in front of everyone at, what are they called, Marcus, the Fest. The last year's Fest.
Starting point is 00:29:55 WrestleMania. Yes. The Fest. The Fest. The Fest. Festival Fest of Russell. The Fest of Russell. They did it in front of everybody last year and everyone like lost their minds.
Starting point is 00:30:09 And they're like weeks away from getting married. But the whole thing is that even in all these back interviews, he's like, I don't want to have kids. I never really wanted to get married. I love her very much. He made her sign this like 75 page pre-up that says like the second. this is over, you have to get all your shit out of the house. So that's what she's doing now. It's like a total insane
Starting point is 00:30:29 upset because he, but he's been saying for years how this isn't what he wants. He just kind of did it. And there's so many people that do that shit. That you're just like, yeah, I guess, let's get married. Okay. But when you're that high profile, it's much harder to just fucking rip that cord back out, dude. Yeah, I can't really walk
Starting point is 00:30:48 away when the world is watching. And especially since his whole thing is like, he's the nice guy wrestling. Mm-hmm. But apparently he's the one that's devastated. Yeah. And she's like, I'm fine, I'm okay. But he's crying into his pillow. Well, because she's hot to trot.
Starting point is 00:31:04 How about that guy also? There's been so much wrestling news. That guy who threw a chair through a bus window. That was a wrestler too, right? At WrestleMania at Barclays Center? Wrestlers have done a lot of bad things. A lot of questionable behavior when it comes to the wrestling community. Uh-huh.
Starting point is 00:31:20 I mean, you ever see a one-trick pony in the first. field so happy and free You ever see a one trick pony You've seen me Yeah let's not forget that Chris Benoit Murdered his family And then himself
Starting point is 00:31:36 Yikes Yikes Yikes Janks But there's also a lot of debate About that But you know Head injuries and you know
Starting point is 00:31:46 What is it called CE Whatever it is The football thing It affects wrestlers quite a bit as well. That makes sense. And especially since Chris Benoit's big move was
Starting point is 00:31:59 diving headfirst into the other wrestler. It's going to knock your brains around eventually, man. Then you got all scrambly brains. And even though what you're always told when you're a kid is, they're not really doing it. They're like pretend doing it. They're probably still knocking their brains around a lot. They're still.
Starting point is 00:32:17 And wrestlers, professional wrestlers do not live long. A lot of them die in like their 50s. Really? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's a horrific thing to do to your body for decades. Only a few have that, like, ability to keep it going throughout, like, their 50s and 60s. And what was that?
Starting point is 00:32:32 Bruno Santa Maria. Sanman da da, the Italian Superman. The Italian Superman. He was in his 70s, which is very rare for a pro wrestler. And a lot of them come out of it pretty punchy. Like, the iron sheet came out of the whole thing. Pretty punchy. A little out of it.
Starting point is 00:32:50 Yeah, a little out of it. Check on his Twitter sometime. It's weird. Yeah, but I love the whole soap opera aspect of it. I think it's why I keep thinking about from the damn documentary. I'm sorry, Molly, spoiler alert. But they go through like the big last, I guess it wasn't the last one, the big hullabalube between Hulk Hogan and Andre the Giant.
Starting point is 00:33:07 That like, Hulk Hogan, like they had the narrative, but they didn't know how it was going to end. And Andre the Giant's like, oh, I know how it's going to end. And he wouldn't tell. He just kept saying, he wouldn't tell Hulk Hogan I was going to end. Don't worry about it. because these things like they call like putting over like they call like is he going to put me over essentially is he going to let me win uh-huh uh because these whole matches are like greatly choreographed
Starting point is 00:33:32 beforehand where they plan out the whole thing here's how the whole match is going to go like second to second right like the whole thing is choreographed or move to move yeah like move to move to move move to move the whole thing is choreographed like how this is how we're going to do it sometimes they improvise uh but you have to talk to the other guy and be like hey so this is how it's going to go, right? And Hulk Hogan, like, put it all out. And Andre the Giants just like, don't worry about it.
Starting point is 00:33:57 We'll figure it out. We'll do it. And he didn't, because nobody could beat Andre the Giant. Like, actually beat him unless Andre the Giant let you beat him. Uh-huh. Because he's so fucking big. He's so big. I just, like, I can't imagine him putting that sword into tiny women.
Starting point is 00:34:15 Isn't that insane? Yeah, I mean, you don't. No one has ever talked about it. Like, they talk about it in the documentary a little bit. All I say, like, he just had a size 44 boot. That's all I'm saying. It's like, you could fit three fingers and that man's ring. That's all I'm saying.
Starting point is 00:34:32 You know what they say about men with huge bodies? Their penises are proportional. It's got to be big. But then that's why you never really had a love. Well, he had a daughter. And it's very sad. Well, that's not what. He didn't have.
Starting point is 00:34:47 No, it's not that he didn't have a log. He didn't have a love because his dick was too big. That's why it was. That's what the problem was. No, he didn't have a love because he knew that a family was like no place for his lifestyle. Uh-huh. He did have a, uh, like he had essentially a love child, which it seems like he had a one-night stand in California that resulted in a child. But actually, both him and the mother knew, it's like, yeah, you can't do, you can't do this.
Starting point is 00:35:15 Like, we're not going to go with you because he bruscled on all six continents. He was constantly traveling. It's the only thing he could do. It's like he can't quit the only thing he's good at and like go work in a fucking gas station in California. Yeah. Like, so they, you know, they understood. And I think it would have been a mistake for him to try to be a part of that. He should have worn a condom, though, but who knows if there's one that fit him.
Starting point is 00:35:37 How do you find one that fits him? Three fingers fit into his ring. He was a very, very, and even his daughter was like, yeah, he was there as much as, he was there as much as he could be. But, you know, she's like, I wish he was there more, but I have forgiven him for not being there. So it's like nobody had a bad thing to say about him. Wow. Like he's just an overall solid human being. Who was just trying his best?
Starting point is 00:36:06 Just trying his best. Just doing the best he could. And you know what? He was the best. I love him. I love him. You will cry, Molly. You'll definitely cry at the end of the documentary.
Starting point is 00:36:17 It's a weeper. Great. I love crying. Get on it. Sometimes you need to. Let it out, you know. I mean, I gotta switch gears here because another wormhole that I've been hard into is Mariah's world. It's not your world.
Starting point is 00:36:37 You're just living in Mariah's world. It is a reality show, and it is insane. There's been some sizable updates in the last. life in times of Mariah Carey, who is one of our perhaps most talked about subjects here. Easily. Top three, definitely. Her reality show is exactly what you would imagine it to be. Her desperately trying to be a real-life person instead of a weird robot, which she actually is. And she does talk like this.
Starting point is 00:37:04 And she's got the kids. And so we got rock and row. And she's just like forcing the children. Obviously, she never talks to the kids. But the kids are around. And she's like, I don't I a good mom? No, dude, you never talk to those fucking kids. Doesn't one of her kids have glasses, though?
Starting point is 00:37:18 Don't we? I like, I feel like some of them are like little kids with glasses. I like them. You love that, but I think that's why they're kept out of the spotlight, just like J-Lo's twins as well. One's got glasses. You ever see those kids? That's true.
Starting point is 00:37:32 They ain't cute enough. Get that baby some Lysick. We have to destigmatize little celebrity children with glasses. I'll agree with that. I mean, I love glasses. I love glasses on a baby. It looks so cute. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:37:43 The video's, where they put the glasses on the baby and the baby sees for the first time. It's very cute. So cute. Do you watch that kind of stuff now, Molly, and cry, since you are heavy with child? I've just been doing more crying in general.
Starting point is 00:37:58 You know, any heartwarming YouTube videos, YouTube videos of babies and kittens together, you know, really anything. I always cry at stuff with children, but yeah, definitely more so now. I understand. Yeah. Have you been putting headphones on your stomachs
Starting point is 00:38:13 of the baby can listen to music. Fun fact, Gideon ordered some of those headphones, and I was mad, and I made him send them back. Why? Because he didn't discuss it with me. And I was like, this was, like, way, way earlier, this was like 20 weeks when I was like 20 weeks or something. But like, I was like, I don't know why I was so upset.
Starting point is 00:38:35 I was like, this is humiliating, and I'm not going to do this. And it's just, and I don't know why I thought that, because I did, I made him send them back, but meanwhile, I had looked at the very same headphones like two days earlier out of curiosity. God, this is going to be so fucking hellish. Get them out of the house, Jimmy Hatch. You become a demon woman.
Starting point is 00:39:01 He's like, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, baby. I love you, I'm sorry. How dare you? How dare you do something nice? No, it was that I was like, well, this is a really specific thing that I would have to choose to do. Hook my belly up to this quad, you know, quad phone. And I was like, I don't want to do this. This makes me feel weird.
Starting point is 00:39:28 And so then I decided not to. The key was that it was my decision. It's so quad, but like you don't just put, like, shouldn't you just put headphones on? There's a whole apparatus. There's like, they go on your belly and then they, go in your own ears and then you have to, the other thing, the actually part of the decision was that it's easy to like, when I had looked it up myself two days earlier, a lot of people were like, be careful because some people end up like blasting the babies too much, like, because the babies
Starting point is 00:39:57 can hear pretty well. So like putting speakers right up to your belly is like not really necessary. So ultimately that was the reason why I didn't actually yell at my husband as much as it was like, this was an unnecessary purchase and we can just play music for the baby. See, now that to me is that that's what I would get, like, even more, like, angry about it. It's just like, why? We're having a child. Why are you wasting money on baby headphones? Right.
Starting point is 00:40:22 Right. I was like, this is like a, you know, I like the idea of playing music for the baby, but like we can just turn on music in a room together and then all experience it. Rather than me being like the lady on the box that's like the woman on the beach jogging with her like belly pods on. And it just made me feel a little bit of. objectify like a walking belly, you know. I guess that's fair. Have you been screaming him about other things at him about other things that you would not have been doing before?
Starting point is 00:40:51 No, I haven't been, I haven't been an angry pregnant person, but I have been an unpredictably weeping pregnant person. That's fine. Which I think is normal. Normal and preferable, I imagine. Yeah. No, I haven't done a lot of anger. I always turn my anger inward, you know. To the baby.
Starting point is 00:41:09 To the baby. Yeah. Take it to the baby. Don't take it outside the baby. Especially healthy now that there's literally someone inside me to experience the anger with me. Guys, I've been using Lola for a while now, and I've got to let you know I dig it hard.
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Starting point is 00:41:50 help ourselves out while we help each other out is a tofer I can get behind. Dude, it's the Fubu solely for women because it's the company that was made by women for women, which I dig. I'm a huge fan of Lola. I don't know about you, but there have been many a time when I run out of tampons and I am more than a little miffed about it. And it delivered right to my door because even at 30, I still forget to write tampons on my Gettoms list because I'm an adult child.
Starting point is 00:42:18 And I love that they're 100% organic and BPA-free because I truly hope my ex-boyfriend is the last garbage I put inside of me. For 40% off your first order, visit mylola.com and enter page 7 when you subscribe. That's mylola.com and enter page 7. But yeah, no, I haven't been doing a lot of yelling, but I definitely have been doing a good amount of crying. Did you cry while you watched any of Bechella this weekend?
Starting point is 00:42:48 I have been struggling to watch as much Bechella as I want to because of copyright laws. Thank you very much, the law. But I was, I mean, as a pregnant person, let me just say, Beyonce had three fucking kids in like four years. years. I guess blue I'd be a little. Well, she only had two kids. Let's be real. She had at least two kids over however the course of time it has been not that many years. And one time it was twins. And she put on the most physically taxing, not to mention like artistically amazing, but like the physical taxment of it. Like I was like, she is a magic person. And, and she just looks so hot.
Starting point is 00:43:39 Like when I was watching her in Destiny's Child, I was just like, she just, her body is just so nice to look at. That's how I always, when I'm listening to Beyonce, I just am like, this is so,
Starting point is 00:43:51 I feel so blessed to be able to listen to Beyonce, but when I look at her body, I'm like, I am so happy to be looking at your beautiful body right now. It hurts, yeah. You know what it is? It's her thighs that hurt me the most. Yes.
Starting point is 00:44:03 Like, how does one get those? I'm trying. And it's like, yeah, I dig my thick thighs. I like it, but I don't know if I'm thick, like, T-H-I-C-C. I think I'm more just thick. Well, I feel like the thighs, exactly. Like, when I was in, you know, when we were young, like, in middle school and high school and stuff, like, all of the different ways that body shaming happens when you, like, especially for girls and, or at least differently for girls than for boys.
Starting point is 00:44:31 And, like, I feel like, you know, there's the whole, not like I ever, like, believed in, like, a thigh gap thing, but. there is so much, like, you never see women with hips. I remember when I was a kid at least thinking, I never saw, like, a beautiful woman with hips on the cover of a magazine. It was always people who, like, looked super hot and they're, like, straight down, straight from their abs to their hips to their legs was like a parallel lines, you know? And so when I had hips, I was really self-conscious about them because I was like, you're not supposed to have hips.
Starting point is 00:45:03 That's, like, not attractive. And then whenever I see Beyonce's hips and legs, I feel so comforted by them, you know. God, I wish I had them, though. That's for sure. Yeah. See, I'm more, I'm got the parallel lines. It's just a very wide stance of parallel lines, you know? It's like a four-lane highway.
Starting point is 00:45:24 I don't know. The whole, the Beyonce Coachella thing, it kind of, it bugs me a little bit. Because like, because it used to, like, Coachella used, I mean, I'd never actually got in Coachella because it's very long ways away. But it used to be like, I don't know, like, less popular alternative rock bands. Like it used to, like, the Pixies reunion happened at Coachella. And that year it was also like, but they've also sort of always done, like, well, they started in like the early 2000s doing like pop stars or like Madonna was at that one as well.
Starting point is 00:45:55 Because I was going to say the ship has sailed for it being anything that isn't just pop stars, right? You know, that's the thing is it seems like the ship has sailed as far as like pop music stars being at like the headliners of like music festivals. Or it just, it seems like that's the thing now. Yeah. Is that like it's now it's like pop stars, but it's not a whole lot out there just for like, hey, yeah, you know, let's go see Radiohead. Even though Radiohead is also one of the biggest bands in the world.
Starting point is 00:46:21 But I like rock music. That's all it is. I just don't like pop music. I'm being an old man now. I feel like I hear you and I hear those criticisms. And for me, there's just the Beyonceception, if you will, which is the exception that any time Beyonce performs ever, I feel like it is a great gift.
Starting point is 00:46:40 And I just enjoy it so much. I guess I just don't get it. Like, I just don't get it. But like, I think Beyonce, the way I've always been, is like, she's okay. Uh-huh. She's fine. I mean, she's not for you, Marcus.
Starting point is 00:46:52 She's not for me. I think that's what it is. She's not for me. Yeah. Yeah, and I think it's fine to not be mean. And I'm mad about it. He's mad about it. Why are you?
Starting point is 00:47:03 Why are you not catering to me? You're not for me. And only to me. You can't have nothing that ain't for me. I have total, I'm totally here for people who are not moved by Beyonce. People who like actively hate on Beyonce, I'm like, relax. But people who are just kind of indifferent to her, I get that. but yeah I just feel
Starting point is 00:47:31 like I feel like I probably said this a million times on the show before but I feel like whenever I watch her I'm like I'm gonna like when I'm an old lady I'm gonna be like I lived in the time of Beyonce that's how I feel when I watch her like that she is that the type of artist she is
Starting point is 00:47:47 is so exceptional that it's like this very special thing that we get to watch her I don't know I just don't see her as anything more than a pop like another pop star like there's just like okay it's pop music cool
Starting point is 00:48:01 she's just very inspirational you know she's got the whole thing yeah it's like she's just been working hard forever and I think that's what I like the most about yeah that's the thing she's not just that she's talented as hell but that she's been working hard since she was like 12 and she is like a one person operation where she has like brought this
Starting point is 00:48:19 she has like cultivated this image of herself as like an artist and an entrepreneur and just like the physical like as a performer like she was like what the show was what Like her performance was like Two hours long Of her like dancing And singing the entire time
Starting point is 00:48:35 Like I just feel like as an artist it's like But don't but don't a lot of her songs written by like Five other dudes Yeah I mean she ain't writing shit Yeah But man can she dance But she does write She does write shit
Starting point is 00:48:50 I don't think she ain't right shit I think she I mean she's the creative like You know Decider behind a lot of that, I mean, at least behind, like... I think she creates a lot of the concepts of everything. And I think she's very hands-on with everything, which I think is amazing.
Starting point is 00:49:07 But she's also Beyonce. She's got a bunch of other shit. She's got to get done. Like keeping those thighs in line. I forgot. I googled Beyonce writers and then got called a racist immediately. By Google? I just, like, I just Googled Beyonce, like, like, Beyonce, like,
Starting point is 00:49:26 Beyonce songwriters. And the first thing is a, what is a vanity fair article? It says, here's why criticizing Beyonce for working with songwriters is ignorant. It shows a lack of understanding of art and also intellectual property law. And it's probably racist, too. Oh, you're allowed to look it up. Jesus Christ. Come on.
Starting point is 00:49:46 I was curious. Google's like, instead of like how sometimes Google is like, did you mean Beyonce writers or something? It was like, did you, are you a racist? Did you mean I don't like black people? What did you really mean here? Did you know you're a racist? Yeah, I mean, I don't totally know who's in the room when she's writing songs.
Starting point is 00:50:07 But she is like, it's not like she just shows up and sings, it's the point. She is like the creative force behind what she does and who she is and who she puts forward. And like what Lemonade was, which was like amplifying all these other black artists. And like, you know, I feel like, I just feel like she's. And she had all those bands from all the historically black colleges as well, which was amazing. It's like the way that she incorporates so many different aspects of culture into her performance. I mean, it's a lot. That's insane.
Starting point is 00:50:38 It's very inspirational. All right, sure. And also, I guess I'm also coming. I used to be completely indifferent to pop music. And then sometime in the last 10 years since moving to New York and working with young people, I have gone so far in the other direction. And I'm like, Cardi B, it's a political. political genius.
Starting point is 00:50:57 But I guess I just look at the music itself. Like, just like at a base level, like strip away all of everything around it. Like, and just look at it like, that is a song. And I was like, and I look at it, I'm like, that's fine. It's a fine. Oh, yeah, it's a bebop too. It's a fine, it's a fine song. But I don't, I guess it just, I think that's kind of my perspective on it.
Starting point is 00:51:20 Yeah. And you're a musician too. So you're coming from that perspective. It's a fine song. Yeah, but I tell you, though, the second they started with the same a name, same a name, even I was just like, yeah. Oh, my God. When they were all walking down the stairs together and kind of holding on to each other, I was just like, oh, yes. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:51:40 I, yes, please. And they had Salonge. They sang a song together. Jay Z came on. They sang a song together. It's like, it was a family affair, and I dug it, you know? It was like a variety show. Dopp the house.
Starting point is 00:51:54 That's the phrase? Yeah, I was excited. And the funniest thing, so I woke up at like 6.30 in the morning that whatever, I think it was a Saturday or Sunday. I can't remember. But I woke up to feed the cats. And then I looked at Twitter and everyone was like up tweeting about Beyonce. I was like, did everyone stay up all night and watch Beyonce at Coachella? Which it turns out is basically what happened.
Starting point is 00:52:16 Yes. Which was kind of special. That's exactly what they did. I mean, it was pretty awesome. I catch it. I cast a lot of that live stream. I caught a good amount of it And it was just very long
Starting point is 00:52:28 But at the same time It made me feel sad That in like middle of the night Just sitting watching a live stream By myself being like They're looking like They're having fun I'm in my jammies
Starting point is 00:52:39 I got my jizzie and my jammies And that's all I needed on a Saturday night Because I'm a hundred thousand years old Oh you're younger than I am And I'm not a hundred thousand years old Yes I'm losing my hair That's fine You're not losing your
Starting point is 00:52:54 your hair? What are you talking about? I'm rapidly losing my hair. No. No, I actually am. No, every time I want, like if you look, there's a, I'll show Molly. Like, oh, that's just a part. No, but that's the thing. That part wasn't there. That's new. And now I'm losing all of it. Yeah, every time I dry my hair, more and more comes out. Really? Much more than usual. Like you were witnessing it yourself. I'm witnessing it myself come out. Yeah, with it here within a couple of years, I'm going to be that weird baby-faced guy. but bald. I'm going to be the weird bald baby face guy. What's your strategy going to be? Are you going to go full shave?
Starting point is 00:53:30 I think I might go full shave. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think I might go Grant Morrison. You got the head for it. I think it'll look good. We'll see. I mean, I already get a lot of shit for having a tiny head, but we'll see how it goes.
Starting point is 00:53:42 I'm going gray fast. I'm all kinds of salt pepper. Y'all can't see it right now, but it's ridiculous. And I think I'm just going to let it go. Yeah, I'm going gray as hell. And for the longest time before it started happening, I was like, I won't care when that happens.
Starting point is 00:53:56 And now I look at the mirror and I'm like, ah. Oh, it's the same way. I was like, yeah, I guess I'll probably lose my hair eventually. It'll be fine. But now I find myself staring my own mortality, staring at my own mortality in the mirror and realizing things are changing. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:54:15 Yeah, well, that's the other thing about Dan Beyonce. She's like your age and she makes me happy and sad at the same time about that. Because I like that she's not like in her twilight. but also I feel a lot of complicated feelings about the fact that she's like our people, you know, our age, our generation. Oh, yeah, man. I just wish my gray could come in so I could look like rogue. I wish it could all just be one stripe.
Starting point is 00:54:38 And I think that's what's not fair. Rather than just being on the top where it looks like I just used too much dry shampoo and I didn't rub it in enough. I just look like a gross-ass monster that hasn't showered in days. Which I am, but it's also the gray. I think in order to look like rogue, you need to be, like, touched by a ghost, don't you? No, you need to touch someone and almost take their life force away. And the stress of it makes you give you a gray strip.
Starting point is 00:55:06 Yeah, I already did that. It's called a 10-year relationship. Babi! Oh! Who's on the list? Who's on the list? Marcus, got to have that list. Great segue.
Starting point is 00:55:19 List isn't great this week. And we're kind of running out of time. I would actually like to talk about instead of the list, and I think this is much more important to our interests. Did you know John Travolta and Tom Cruise hate each other? And they hate each other within the confines of Scientology because Tom Cruise is David Miscavich's number two, and John Travolta believes that he should be the number two? Oh, that somehow is not present.
Starting point is 00:55:47 It's because he got that fucking medal, right? He got the metal. Tom Cruise got the medal. Tom Cruise got the Medal of Freedom, and John Travolta apparently lost his fucking mind. It's a small world. Which also, John Travolta, just so you know, the Medal of Freedom is a fake medal. That's fucking made up. Then he gets to give out.
Starting point is 00:56:04 You have to remember context. Not a real medal. Excuse me. The Freedom Medal of Valor. Freedom Medal of Valor. Valor? That's like saying like, I'm shiny, amazing, and fun, Jackie. Okay.
Starting point is 00:56:18 Don't worry about me. I mean, though, that makes total sense because it's like already anybody who feels like any other, we hate the people that are the most kind of close to us, right? Like, the most similar to us because we're like, ooh, you're a threat. And then you take that and you are like, we are the two most famous celebrities in this silly world. And everybody laughs at us for similar reasons. And we are both trying to get in with the top creepy guy. No, but Tom Cruise is the only one that has the direct line of the top creepy guy.
Starting point is 00:56:54 Travolta and Kirstie Alley, they don't get that. And Travolta believes he deserves it. And I think that, you know, perhaps rightly or wrongly, I think wrongly, John Travolta is seen as more pathetic than Tom Cruise. Tom Cruise, for sure. Yeah, without a doubt. And I think that John Travolta has given up much more than Tom Cruise has given up for Scientology. Like, yeah, he had that 16-year-old kid. he wouldn't take to the hospital.
Starting point is 00:57:20 He just fucking die. And just a general self-love, you know. I think that's the main thing that he's given up. He gave up his happiness, like his love happiness, and he gave up his son. Yeah. Jet. And Tom Cruise.
Starting point is 00:57:33 Jet. You know, like Tom Cruise definitely, like, he likes the men, but I think Tom Cruise is bisexual. That's kind of what it seems like. Uh-huh. But Tom Cruise is just crazy. And John Travolta seems like an okay guy stuck in a bad situation. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:57:47 I actually feel like Tom, Tom Cruise is much less sympathetic, and John Travolta is kind of like a tragic hero. Yeah, he's a tragic figure. Even though he does, it must be said, he does get grabby sometimes when he shouldn't be getting grabby. That's bad. Yeah, that's bad. Yeah, Consent is always good, even if you are a tragic Scientology fall guy. Yeah, but at the same time, what happens on a plane stays on a plane.
Starting point is 00:58:14 Oh, no, his grabby boys, those are all masseuses. Yeah, some of them say, let's do it. I'll put on the bike. I'll put on the motorcycle helmet. Sure, why not? But others, he tends to chase around the room a little bit, and they don't have a good time at all. Yeah. Which has got to be difficult because he's probably covered in oils.
Starting point is 00:58:34 He can't do that desk. Yeah. Yeah, that's on a plane or in a massage room. Wrong, no matter which way it goes. It is wrong. It is wrong. Oh. All right, it's time for blind out.
Starting point is 00:58:50 Oh, we can't see a. If you ever thought this A-List reality duo had enough money to never yacht again, yes, this is a yachting blind item. Thank God, yachting is back. God, I just want a yacht. It's summer, baby, I'm ready to yacht. If you ever thought this A-List reality duo would have enough money to never yacht again, you'd be wrong. They won't go halfway around the world any longer, but they will meet in a third country if the prices. right and they're happy to spend some time with the right man or men we talked about them last week a list celebrity couple that's a list reality duo and they're not a couple
Starting point is 00:59:30 at least I don't think so okay all right not a couple so that means they're both fucking they're both fucking the people yeah they're both fucking dudes they're both one's a man one's a one the pro oh I was about to say the property they're not a list. Are they? They're also not yawning. They're not, they're not yawning. You never know what they do.
Starting point is 00:59:53 When they're on that compound, they think, oh, maybe let's get a yacht. Let's go bang them in them. We want to bang it on any country we can find. Oh, my God. They're like, yeah, I'll renovate this yacht. But first, I will fuck you. Oh, no, wait. It is two women.
Starting point is 01:00:07 Because I thought, actually, I just looked at like that, because they both have aliases, or not aliases, but like nicknames on their show. and this one I actually thought that was a man, but it's not. So. Oh, so it's not Snooky and J-Wow. It is Snooky and J-Wow. What? It's totally Snooky and J-Wow.
Starting point is 01:00:29 So J-Wow was a girl, right? Yeah. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it's absolutely snooky and J-Wall. Great work, Jackie. Good for them, man. Get it.
Starting point is 01:00:38 Ladies. Don't mind the husbands or the kids, but, you know, women got to get theirs. Yes, absolutely. They've been yachting for a long time. Yeah, yachting seems like it involves a lot of enthusiastic consent from everybody involved. So, you know, again, the lessons we learned from John Travolta don't apply here. I feel like yadding is a victimless crime. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:01:00 Oh, no, it's definitely victimless, except for when Lindsay Lohan goes yachting and steal jewelry from her Johns. That is a criminal crime. Yeah. But also steal it from the Johns. You know, they have too much. They have too much. Yeah, they're yachting. It's just the Robin Hood of Yardons.
Starting point is 01:01:14 Yes, she's a, yes. Robbing, robbing from Dubai princes and giving to herself. Who is also rich. Who is also very rich. I think that sounds great. Man, I want to go yachting with Snooky and J.W. So hard. All of our faces will be filled with plastic and will have tight leopard print dresses on.
Starting point is 01:01:34 And I'll finally become the nanny, which I've always wanted to be. Yeah, it sounds fun. The thing about yachting is that maybe I just really want to go on a yacht and not. have sex with somebody. Not have sex with Dubai millionaires. Yeah. Not have sex with like a client. But I think that it just does sound so fun to me.
Starting point is 01:01:53 Yeah. The yachting sounds like the literal yachting sounds the most fun, but the other stuff seems also fine. Mm-hmm. Yodding sounds great. Like hanging around on that yacht that Goldie Hong got thrown off on overboard, that seems like an awesome yacht. That's what we need. Instead of yacht and we need a bang boat. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:02:08 Yeah. Yeah. Network bang boat that we can all, we don't have to be on at the same time. you go out and have consensual bangs on the boat. So it's like, you know, it's not crazy. You're not like dusted in cocaine from head to toe. Or, I mean, you could be if that's what you're into. Could be.
Starting point is 01:02:22 But what happens on the bang boat stays on the bang boat. Yeah, and if you want to have sex for money on the bang boat, you can. But if you also just want to have sex with your partner and have no money to be exchanged at all, you can still call it yachting. Or if you want to exchange money and do a whole roleplay situation. Uh-huh. I'm into that. I think the last podcast network has finally found its worthy Kickstarter.
Starting point is 01:02:43 Bangboat We need a bangbo East River bangbo Oh my God That's amazing Can we tube off the bangbo? Yeah Oh yeah
Starting point is 01:02:54 If you want a tube In the East River And take that chance You want to roll those dice You do it You do it I want to get I want to grow a third eye
Starting point is 01:03:02 That's all we got time for Today Thank y'all very much For tuning in Thank you so much And please If you would like to donate To our Patreon
Starting point is 01:03:12 We would love that, and we love you so much. Just visit patreon.com slash page 7 podcast, 7 the number. And, hell, if you're feeling frisky, come on over to Instagram and follow me at Jack That Worm, Molly. I am MJK. LK. Thank you to people who have followed me. I hope you like pictures of cats because that's what my Instagram is. And I'm at Marcus Parks for everything. Love you guys so much.
Starting point is 01:03:37 We'll talk to you next week. That.

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