Page 7 - Episode 253: #Fatherable

Episode Date: May 12, 2018

Molly had her baby! She'll be a bit busy for now, so in the meantime Marcus and Jackie have Henry Zebrowski in to discuss Elon Musk dating Grimes, Chip Gaines's marathon run and more. Go to http://hellofresh.com/page730 and use the code page730 to get $30 off your first week of deliveries. Go to http://phlur.com and use promo code PAGE7 to get 20% off your custom Phlur sample set! Thanks to 1-800-Flowers for sponsoring this episode. Visit http://1800flowers.com and enter code: Page7 to order 24 multicolo Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

She's got smile. The child. Special place. And if I stand too long, I'd probably break down. The problem is the Adam Scott bit. See, this is why we look at the lyrics. No, you just forced me to do it thing. You forced me to do a thing like you're the, like your Colonel Parker.

Welcome to page seven, everybody. He was the man who tortured Elvis for years. Molly had a baby. He did. Molly had a baby. Hey, welcome to the world, Alfreda Attica. And she is beautiful. She is about four and a half pounds because she came a little early.

Her name's Alfredo? Alfreda. And she's going by Freddie. Oh, that's cute as shit. Oh, my God. I'm so happy for her, but it came a little early. So that's why we've got a bunch of Henry Zabrowski coming at you for a while. Now, how small is this baby going to be in the end?

I mean, like, as an adult, looking at Gideon and Molly, this is going to be like a, an actual elf, correct? Yeah, but she's so cute. She was born with a full-headed little hair. That means she's a vampire. Is that bad? Is that wrong to say? To malign immediately?

I'm not trying to malign. I'm just scared for the future. I just want the baby to be okay. Full head of red hair. Does that make it better? No. No, no, no. It's a part of the lineage of the ancient scary form of leprechaun.

Wait a second. Is that a thing? I was born with a full head of jet black hair. Exactly. If I got this one over here. What are you trying to say? Were you born bald, Marcus? Yeah.

With only a tiny little bit of hair. I was born fully erect. I got stuck on the vagina. Woo! Yes, welcome to page 7. I'm Jackie Zabrowski. We've got Marcus Parks over in New York. Hello.

Thank you so much, Henry, for being here with us. And this special Mother's Day episode dedicated to Molly. I love Mother's Day. It is, I got to say my favorite holiday Out of all of them Oh yeah, my favorite one Why? Yeah

Because if you're a mother once You already got pregnant So you can't get another one That's not true That's not how it goes I just, I am very curious to hear What you have to say about the female reproductive system I know that it's a bunch of it's a series of sacules

That have eggs inside of them And that some of the eggs are good and some of the eggs are great, and the rest of them just make drones that build cars and drive our taxis and fight our wars for us. Are you talking about Elon Musk? No, Elon Musk is now with Grimes. Grimes.

Yep, just saying. I have no clue who that human being is. I do not either. I just think it's a weird choice for a name. Who is Grimes? A singer? Have I heard one of her songs? Probably not.

She's a woman. Sure. Gonna go ahead and see that. And of course, like when I type in Grimes, Elon Musk, the first thing that comes in is an article from the New Yorker, The Trouble with Elon Musk and Grimes. I don't give a fuck. I'm just glad that he's banging because you know what? I love Elon Musk and I think that he deserves the best. Interesting stance.

controversial. There are a lot of people who don't like Elon Musk. I for one think he's quite imaginative and he can do whatever he wants with his money as long as it's not building concentration camps. I think that he's from the future then I think that he's come back. There's got to be a reason. So he came back to have sex with grimes? No, he came back to save the human race. He hasn't done shit yet. I'd like to see what he does. As long as we get one hyperloop, I'll be fine with it. But right now we got the landing rocket, which is pretty cool. And the Tesla, which only the super rich could have. And and it's too quiet to be driven.

It's a very dangerous car. What are you talking about? You talk about wanting to get a Tesla all the time. I do, but it's only because I want to hurt others with my car. I want to sneak up on them. I want to be scared by my car. But Grimes is 95 pounds of cigarette butts. Am I correct?

Looking a little like that, yeah. What's the song that she sang? Come on, guys. I don't know, guys. I don't know, Gus for a living. She's a young. one. She's a new one. Of what? Of the type of woman.

Is she an adventure? Synth pop. Synth pop. Our art pop. Dream pop. What? That's been... Bedroom pop. What's a name of one song? I want to hear the name of what? What has she done that anybody cares that she exists? Go. That's...

It goes, go, go, go, go. I go, go, go. That's the song. I'm gonna go and go and go. I'm gonna try and I want to hear a song. Dream pop. You know what? I think that's my problem is I don't listen to anything titled Dream Pop at all. I'm gonna hear right here. Grimes song.

I want to hear one. I want to hear one. I feel like it's a lot of like, Ling, Ning, Ning, Ning. Ha la la. Okay, so Leo Elvis's two favorite Grimes song. Both of us. Oh, she's been around since 2012.

I'm old, man. What? I have not heard Grimes. All right, I'm playing this song. She's 30. 30 fucking years old. She looks like she's nine. She does look like she's nine.

I don't like that. I don't like... Okay. I fucking hate this shit. You really thought you were going to like it? Did he actually think you were going to enjoy it? I don't know. That's fucking to figure I'd check it out.

Yeah, if there was one music genre, I would say Henry, don't listen to. It's Dream Pop. You know what? I'll listen to anything when I'm on edibles. Like, I don't care. I don't really. I'm not really anti any type of music. Like, pop music's good. It can be good. You never listen to pop music. I do it because you listen into the other room and you're my fucking teenage child right now. So I do listen to it. And there are some of it that I do enjoy.

No, you just listen to Maiden and Saxon. I mean, no, I listen a lot of stuff. Like what? I don't know if I've ever watched you listen to music before actively. Because I listen to it when I'm at the gym or when I'm driving. I tell you know what kind of music I like. I like car washing music with sticks. I like all that whole genre. Channel 25 and Sirius XM.

I like classic rewind. I like classic vinyl. I like 34 with lithium. Anything that time period. All the alt rock from the fucking R. K day when things were important. You're not naming any songs or artists. You're just naming channels you listen to on Sirius.

What about that butt song that you like so much? Which but song? It was like, that butt, that butt, that's the butt. Oh, de butt. That's a good song. That's a good song. We should play right now called The Butt. Have you heard that song?

I can't hear any of these songs. Woo. Debut, the butt. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Who got the butt? We got the butt.

Yeah, we got the butt. I love that song. We make up our own lyrics to it, though, when we listen to it in the car. It's on constantly. I like that song quite a bit. I like Prince. I like David Bowie. Oh, good.

You know? Look at him. Yeah, he's a music artist lover. Grimes should be fucking crucified. Hey, hey, hey, hey, we don't need to be saying that. We don't need to throw that kind of shade out there. You're right. I forget.

I forget that Grimes is special. Too high level of shade. Yeah, you're right. You're right. I don't mean to throw side eye at Grimes. It just sounds like you're jealous because she's dating Elon. I would do anything to be with Elon Musk. Right?

Yeah, yeah, I'd be great for him too, though. I'd be such a muse. Marcus, are you pro Elon Musk? I think he could spend some of his money a little wiser. Yes. Interesting. I would agree. Don't shoot a car into space.

I mean, he can do that, but also do like, we just need a hyperloop train. He's doing it. He hasn't done shit. He's working on it. It takes a lot. Do it faster. I'm sure he gives millions upon millions of dollars to charity. Yeah, sure.

Man, his mom is really hot too. She's like a hot, tight South African. South African. I am from South African. Man, there is this family from South Africa that goes to my gym. And I talk to them every day. And they, and they, wait, he's Canadian? Yep.

Charlie's they're on South African. I thought he was South African. His mother is Canadian South African. Oh, unique. She is unique. She's gorgeous. Man, I just wish I could be that high and tight forever. Well, the problem is that you just got to not love your family enough.

Ooh. Look at her. If you look up a picture of Elon Musk's mother, she is just like, she's some sort of like fashion dynamo. She's been on the cover of Vogue a bunch of times. And she's got this amazing like salt and pepper. sex hair. I'm going to go out on a limb saying she looks like a bitch.

Oh, of course. She's rich as fuck. Of course she's a bitch. No, I see her. There's a picture of her smiling. She looks cold in a way that does make me aroused. I'm sorry, Jackie. But also...

Please. It's just... She looks like Corolla DeVille. Yeah, that's why she's awesome. Crell DeVille was a villain. I know. She looks just the right amount of cold, though. Yeah, I know.

The kind of cold where you still love your mother, but she pushes you to success. Well, she does the thing where she said, if you ain't got nothing bad to say, come sit by me. And then you get over there, and you're like, oh, you guys get a good bit. That's just a line from Steelemaugnolias.

Yeah, but that's what they test what she says. Wow, but we got a lot of mommies and daddies in the news this week. I just, mommy news makes me, it hurts my guts. Molly is a new mother, and we have to celebrate her this week. I celebrate Molly. You don't celebrate mommy, though? Mommies Why?

I mean, we're going to send something to our mother For Mother's Day. Have to, yeah, you're bound by law. Did you? Did you? Mark, you're going to send her a mommy cake. Yeah, I'm going to send her a mommy cake. It's filled with a lot of babies.

It's like the King's cake. It's eggs. It's just a bunch of eggs and a big thing shaped like tits. Yeah, and it's covered in buttercream. Yo, yo, yo, yo. You never fondant. Because if you like fondant, you're a fucking jackass.

No one likes fondant. People do, though. No. That's fondin. Fondin is the constructural icing that's mostly used on, like, more, like, intake crazy cakes. Like ace of cakes. They all use fondant to, like, create all the, like, fun, fancy cakes.

But it's tasteless. Buttercream! Nice body, buttercream! I want... Right, Mommies? Mommies. I mean, I like Daddies a lot better than Mommies, but I like Molly a lot. I like Molly a lot.

I like Molly. Oh, my God, she's a mother. Oh, my God, she's a mother. Yeah, yeah. That's very good. I remember, man, it's so weird because it's saying like Molly's the mother, but I remember when she used to do like mushrooms all the time. Yeah.

I mean, I remember, yeah, she was real drunk all the time for like a long time. And she dated that one guy that was like a mushroom dealer. Yeah. Man, that was a fun summer. That was a really fun summer. I remember that time back then, man. Woo! Back in the day.

Woo! Woo! The beer levels were very high back then. Oh, yeah, buddy. Oh, yeah. Yeah, she, you know, but now she's mother Molly, and, you know, she can't be as much fun as she used to be. Although, technically, she just erupted, so she can be a lot more fun now. Well, I'll tell you what, the first thing I would do to her, if I was her, if I was Gideon and I...

Excuse me, what are you about to say? No, I would go up to her and the first thing to be like, honey, I love you, fucking big rip of a joint, blow it in her face. And then she can fucking get Rudy to do it again, man. Yeah, man. Fuck yeah, dude. Hell yeah. It's time for her to really explore her drug side. again. But I feel like you can smoke weed.

Does it go in the milk? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but cool. Makes baby fucking chill. I mean, right? I imagine, isn't there, I imagine we are on our way. If there's weed for dogs now, there's got to be weed for kids. There is weed. There's already CBD oils for children. Man, that CBD oil pill I took yesterday, I felt like I was made out of marshmallow.

That was too strong. We got a bunch of unlabeled bee, be yellow C. CBD pills and it's too much. Because too much CBD can make you like a robot. I couldn't even speak. I was like trying to make dinner and it's just my whole brain was going like. Yeah, but it was nice for the, it was nice to have the quiet. That's a mean thing to say.

You're being mean right now. What is this with Chip Gaines? All right, let's get in. Did he have his own baby? No, we didn't. have his own baby. Chip Gaines is amazing and he has been training if you follow him on Instagram like I do.

He has been training to do this marathon for a couple of months and he's been really working out. He's been keeping it high and tight. He finally did the marathon list last week in Waco and all of the donations went to charity and he did the whole run with a tool belt on.

Oh, that's fun. That's fun. He's a fun guy. He seems to be good. I'm glad that They're not going to do television anymore so that they can maybe be normal. No, I don't think they'll ever be normal. Well, I mean, they'll be normal a little bit. They'll just be business owners. Yeah, but they've created an entire empire.

Yeah, but at least they don't have to be in television anymore, eventually turn in their children into, like, props to be used for entertainment. Yeah, but if you looked into the children at all, they keep them completely separate. Yeah, because I think one's like a homunculus. There's one that they chained to the bed in the living, room because that's what he has to be, because he's a danger to society. There's one with four arms. Why would you ever say these awful things about their beautiful, perfect children? I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I don't know. That's why we don't see about them.

No, they keep them out of the spotlight because they're good parents and they homeschool them and they don't have television in the house. They homeschool them? Yeah. Oh, that's scary. Why? Because homeschool is hard because it depends on what they put inside of their brains. Yeah, but I'm sure they got people to come in there and do it. it for them. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, no, they don't do that all in their own. They don't, but I thought the whole point of homeschooling is you make sure that only Christ teaches them.

Maybe that's what it is. Maybe they're just left to their own devices and they just let Christ come in. That's not good. That's not a good school. Maybe you need to let Christ come into your heart and it's your home. Get up! Shut up! Nah!

No, but I was very excited because he ran for the Brave Like Gabe Foundation, which is a charity that supports research for rare cancers and promotes physical activity and survivors. Oh, that's nice. Isn't it? Yeah. Have you finished capital gains? No, I've been reading on the toilet on and off. The problem is that it's got a lot of fun advice in it, like, you know, like mistakes are

some of your best things that you can do and stuff. But then it always talking about relying on Christ and I just can't, I can't rely on Christ. Well, maybe that's your point. problem. Because it just doesn't, it doesn't, but just singing don't put food on the table. Singing doesn't pay the bills. That is another, that is a quote from Sister Act 2. Yes.

I mean, she's right. And, well, for some. Unless you're Grimes. I don't think Grimes can have a baby. I think her uterus is an ashtray. You just keep saying that and looking at me. And I think you're just thinking about me. No, Grimes looks like she's.

She looks like a poor and fortunate soul from Little Mermaid. All right, hey, guys, I got to go. So we're going to, it's going to have to be a Zabrowski, page seven. Oh, no, no, no. Be good. We're going to be really good, Marcus. That's all I've ever been. We're going to be good.

Don't worry about us. I'm good. All right. Goodbye, y'all. Goodbye. Love you. Love you. Yeah, yeah. It's getting fresh in here, and I'm going to try not to take off all of my clothes. It's your girl, D. Jackie Fresh, and we have joined the banana train of HelloFresh

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there's a 20-minute meal every week for when you're getting hard-hungry, hard fast. The rock knows all about that. Get out of that recipe rut and start cooking outside your comfort zone by discovering new fun recipes in each week's box. I got a Zatar-crusted grilling cheese this week. I think that's how you pronounce it,

it was un the many. We get the veggie option, and it's chockfully yums that don't make you feel like a monster afterwards. I prepared it and ate this ooey-gooey while watching Riverdale. It was like biting into FPs behind. If Skeet All-Ritch was made out of this cheese, I would destroy him for rule.

HelloFresh is also saving me money and brain juice because I don't have to rely on Henry to take me to the grocery store or argue with him about which Mexican place to order from. it just makes my life easier and who doesn't need that? Go to HelloFresh slash page 7 and use the code page 730 to get $30 off your first week of deliveries. That's P-A-G-E, the number seven, and the number 30 to get $30 off your first week. I'm scared about the two of us being left alone.

You know what? Come on, man. You're not scared about this at all? Feel nothing. You feel something. I feel very little. You should be surprised at little. It's kind of interesting because now it just feels like we're just at home and it's like we're just like talking to each other on the couch. It is nice because then the volume come down. It's just you and me like this.

So now we're just going to talk like this instead. We can. You have to remember the fact that when you went to your speech pathologist, what she said was that you are always pushing and that you are always yelling and that actually the way to speak is to sound like this. And I just remember when my speech pathologist told me that and I tried to talk like this. for a couple of days. And then you were filled with rage? Everyone thought I was really, really angry. But you were. I'm always angry.

I know. I know that. I just feel like this sounds like you're about to stab someone to death. Yeah, I does. What I don't really understand is that there's so many podcasts that sound just like this. And that everybody always says that we yell quite a bit. But it seems like this is. worse

I feel like if people listen to a podcast that people talk like this all the time not that I'm shitting on other people's podcasts because I don't listen to podcast so I can't You don't But wouldn't people fall asleep I would fall asleep immediately

If I listen to this Every single day, every minute If everything had to be this volume Do we yell too much? We do We really do I've been told this By many people

But yeah, this is how we'll do the rest of this podcast. We'll do it just like this, how people do it. I don't know if I can because I feel like all of the energy is drained out of my face. No. No, you're just right at a podcast level now. It sounds like this. And so now Jack the Ripper, he attacked his third. That's your podcast, not my podcast.

Liverpool. No, you can't do Zany Voices if you're talking like this. No, that's right. Zany voices are for drive time radio. Wow, we're really loud People say we're really Really loud I do get that note a lot

24-7 but you know what that makes me want to be When someone tells me I'm too loud Even louder Yeah you yeah yeah Do you want to be louder I hope that didn't hurt your ears Because I don't know if I can continue doing that I felt like I really feel like

I felt like a corpse But the thing is that you're bouncing up and down In the chair right now Me? Yeah You're just like You're just Bing Bing Bing boom boom boom boom your knees are slapping together.

Yeah, but that just means I'm happy. It's like I'm crab happy. Crab happy. Now, Cardi B is going to have an, she's also expecting the baby girl to get back to Mommy News. Please, right? So she's going to have a baby girl. How does this baby expect to live?

Dude, beautifully. She's coming out with Nova 525. She's coming out with the whole fashion line. What? I heard a Cardi B song recently. Now, I don't know. Oh, she's 25 years old. She's 25 years old.

Holy shit. She looks like she's 40. No, she's had a hard life. Yeah, that I know. That I know. And her story is really inspiring when you hear about it. But the thing is that her rap, I don't know anything about hip hop. But her rap's like not actually very good.

It's just more of her attitude, correct? It's the whole personality. Everyone loves Cardi B's personality. And if you don't, then you just don't like fun. I'm fine. I think her stuff is fun. I just don't understand many things. I am on the outside.

I'm looking in. Yeah, you are. I can sit there, yeah, or stay to kill it. Because inside it roguly like me. Is this some of your old people music? You're talking about my generation. Yes, it's stained.

Stained is one of the most important bands. Wait, is that? No. Who is that? That's disturbed. Disturbed. Stained is also the same. same thing with the D.

Both have the same a D just applied to the end. Yeah, man. Wait, what's the big Stained song, though? That song. It's inside you ugly, roguly like me. I can sit through you, see the real you.

Man, that's like starting to come back to me, but I feel like they have a bigger song that's not just that one. It's been a while since I've gone. Hold my head. Up High, it's been a while since I first saw you. Oh, different parts. Interesting. Oh, that's right, because I saw the country version of Stained later on.

Because he started to be doing that because now he's doing country version of Stain. It actually works for them. He works for what the country does? I don't know. I saw them in person. It doesn't. Sorry. They still sing.

It's been a while. They just sing a country version of it. That's great. It's very slow. Yeah, I think that, but that's a part of what it is. they're sludgy bullshit, and then they continue to be sludgier, the slower they go. That's what they try, and they're doubling down. Yeah, I mean, I say good on them.

But you really don't like Hardy B's personality? No, that's not what I said. I said that I like our personality. There's just certain things that are not available to me. I think as soon as I hit 34, there's a part of me that was just not, it's not available to certain new Instagram personalities. There's certain things that are interesting. It's stuff like, you know who I love?

Britney Spears. Britney Spears. Yes. Britney Spears on Instagram is fucking wonderful. Cardi B, I think that she's doing a really good job with flipping her abilities towards their strengths. She's very good at positioning herself, and her story is great. It's just her actual music is not very good. I mean, I think that it's good for what it is.

But that's what people say. I guess that's what it is. It's very pop catchy. But there's certain things I've discovered that I really enjoy. I like Kendrick Lamar. I like... Look at you, you woke little man. I like Kedric Lamar.

Kedric Lamar. I like his voice. Yeah. Come on. Hit me with another new one. I was singing some fifth harmony to you, and you did say you knew the song. What's the song? They've got a lot of songs.

What's the one song? I forgot the song I was singing to you specifically. I don't know anything about Fifth Harmony. I couldn't even, I can't choose who they are. I don't know what they look like. Camilla Cabello. Who's that? She sings, Havana, O'Nana.

Half of my heart is in Huvara. Okay. That's a, okay song. That's a great song. Who's Duolipa? Duolipa, you have heard every time. It's all Uber songs. We get into a car.

All of these are Uber songs, and so I just tune them out. I fall asleep in Uber's all time. But at the same time, every time new rules plays, you ask me who it is. I say Duolipa, you say who is Duolipa, and I say she's singing right now. It will not enter into my long-term memory. It won't go in. But it's such a great song And that's why you keep asking about it

What is the song? New rules You keep asking I can't just sing these things off the top of my head I'm looking it up Do a Lepa The music video is very fun sleepover sexy Okay

Talking in my sleep at night I'm making myself crazy Out of my mind Out of my mind She also 15 years old She's very young, yes Two minute times, too many times.

It's awesome. It's all about not taking those shitty X's back. I got no rules. I got them. Ah, yes, yes. Yeah, that's good. It's a great song. You know what I also, the new Donald Glover song is very interesting. He's doing high art. Yeah, I know. He's crushing it right now. He's crushing it. He's

doing great. Also, he is foy. I mean, he's got like, he's got like what I like about him is that he's He's tight but fat. He's not fat at all. Yeah, he's got the little tummy. He's great. He looks great.

Yeah, but it's not like, it's not like fat fat. No, no, no, no. He looks tubby. He looks normal. He looks like, like I want to grab on him. He looks great in red. He does. He wears red a lot.

He is deservedly so, the top of the food chain in terms of pop culture right now, and he is the best. Mm-hmm. He's all over, except we haven't watched Atlanta yet. We will. That's going to be our next family show. The problem is slogging back through Westworld again for season two. so fucking boring. But I'm we're getting through it. Is it really boring?

I think so. I think the second season is very boring. But I like Jeffrey Wright. So it's got even more Jeffrey Wright and who I think is fucking great. The show is just incomprehensible and we didn't have time to go back to rewatch season one because it's so much stuff. But they've like fast forwarded through time. A little bit, yeah.

And now it's the new world. Yes. It's not just Westworld anymore. There will be more of the new worlds. Would you go to Westworld and like sleep with one of the Westworld hookers? I would do the Honestly, I would do Westworld and I would do good guy scenario. I would do good guy where I'd go like a hunter criminal and shoot him. So you wouldn't do bad guy?

I wouldn't do fuck. Yeah. Because you know what it is is that in my heart to heart, it's like, you know, on brand. I would normally say, yes, I'd do bad guy and kill a bunch of people. But when it comes down to it, I do want to kill people, but I want to kill bad guys. Of course you do. Yeah, I'd rather kill a bad guy. I think it would be fun to be a hero and go out there and have a bunch, like, you know, shoot him up.

I think that'd be fun and shit. Hell yeah. And I would probably do, but the problem is that I don't need a romance storyline because I'm happy in my personal life. That's nice. So I don't need to go and have a chase down, like, that doesn't appeal to me. It would be awesome to go and stop, like, a bank robbery. I would want to go do the whole, like, Calamity Jane kind of thing. That would be awesome.

And Shogun World. Woo! What's Shogun World? That's the Japanese version of it with Samarise. Ooh. Is that one of, is that in the new season? Yes, it's the idea. Ah.

Yeah. I thought it was like a future world. thing. They both are. Interesting. The whole thing takes place to the future. Yeah, I guess that's true. I don't know.

See, that's what I like. I like sci-fi. You know what I want to talk about? Whoa. With everyone going on with the Duelipas and your grimes, I want people to watch Channel Zero on sci-fi. That show fucking rules. Natalie and I blew through three seasons.

We don't binge watch shit. And that rules. Wait, was that the creepy one? Yeah. What is it? It's like every season is different, right? It's like an American season. Horror Story? Yes. It succeeds where American Horror Story failed.

Ouch. Yeah, it is great. The first season of American Horror Story is fantastic, though. Wonderful. But then it became like a camp thing and then everything. It's all just, everything's and the kitchen sink. The Colt won with the Trump voters last time was boring and blah. I like ghosts. I like murderers. Is that what Channel Zero is? Is it ghosts? It's kind of both. And monsters. And Rutger Howers in season three. And he's great. Who is that? Ricker Howard, he was the main evil cyborg and blade runner. He also did a bunch of shit. Oh, hell yeah.

Yeah, he's very good. He was in Hobo with a shotgun that was also fun. I'll watch it. I'll watch all of these things. But, you know, we did watch that was rough the other night. What? Dangerous son? Dangerous son.

Yeah, we just talked about it from Mark David Chapman as well, whereas it's like, Dangerous Son is fucking, it was a shattering documentary about kids. with pathological disorders were essentially like what do you do when your kids the fucking murderer? Like what do you do when you have a child and it's Adam Lanza and you can't help this kid? You literally have to have professional help to come in and help you raise this child and there's less and less options for these kids where it's like you used to just ship them upstate and like so they close the mental institutions thinking they're doing a good job because it keep a lecture shock therapy and like doing weird beating these kids and like drowning them to try to make them calm down. And so now they're trying to do more fluffy-do, teaches of them or more, like, more holistic care for these kids,

and there's just not enough beds. Well, they just don't. They have absolutely nowhere to go in. It was, we watched this the other night. We watched it way too late. Yeah, like 11 o'clock at night. And I was, so this is an HBO documentary that just came out. You should definitely give it a watch because if you want to get real upset.

It's upsetting. It's upsetting. And it is very, like, it's just difficult because it shows, too. It's like, if you've got a bunch of money, you could take care of your kid a bunch of different ways, but if you don't, you're effed. And I wonder, did it come out for Mother's Day? Because it was very upsetting Mother's Day-wise.

It did for me. It reminded me of family. Yay. That's why I kept asking Henry. I was like, were you, are you getting triggered by this of how I treated you as a child? Well, Jackie was very violent as a little girl, and she used to beat me with the blocks that we had. And then she'd pretend like nothing happened.

Everyone blamed me because then I'd strike in retaliation. And then she'd go, Yeah. I didn't sound like a gramwin. That's not what I sounded like. When you were looking at, you're like, What if I kill you? Yeah, but you were like, you were talking like this.

Yeah, I was. It was a little newsy. Yeah, it was upsetting. Watching those videos are, it's rough. We got to get a hold of those videos again. Do we need to get a hold of those videos? I like to see what it was like before. I don't know if I do

I think that there's a reason why we don't remember it No no no no no those are fun times We had good times Yeah because we had HCTV We had our own television show Yeah HGTV was great I knew had a brand Yeah you always have

Even men A dangerous son That's me Man because that's And then would people say that they didn't like We need to talk about Kevin Which I remember screaming about this People don't like that movie

There's a lot of people that don't like that movie It's a great movie I think it's a fantastic movie because what do you do? What do you do with the kid? If no one believes you that the kid is a psychopath. People don't like to think about it.

They get really upset. Because if we were to have this conversation around Molly after she's just had a child. Yeah, but her kid's going to be perfect. I know that because two of them are very good, centered, woke people. I know. And she's, oh my God,

she's going to be such a good mom. I'm very excited to see the future this child will have. They're going to be boot scooting all over the place. Oh yeah, boot scooting buggy. I'm so excited for them. Oh my God. Yeah. First last podcast network baby.

Yeah. Probably close to the last. You'll probably have to squirt in a kid, but it's going to be out after what all this is said and done. Why? After it's all said and done, maybe I'm going to do it soon. It's time. It's time for another last podcast network baby, and it's a time for a Zabrowski child. I think it just needs to be more infrastructure.

The network needs it? No, you need it. No, no. No, no, no, no, I'm feeling great. What about Melanie Griffith, though? She adores Dakota Johnson's boyfriend, Chris Martin. Yes, right? Well, good.

Let all of those white people just make more white people. So Melanie Griffith, she had a child, Dakota Johnson, with Don Johnson. And she is now currently dating Chris Martin when I first saw... No, Dakota Johnson was from the 50 Shades. Yay. Right? Yeah. 50 Shades?

50 Shades. She's got a... She gets her vagina spanked. Um, yeah, I've never seen any of those. Uh, they are, I will never watch it. I really, and you know I love sexy horny times. I'm surprised you don't want to watch horny. It's just because mom talked about it and she read about how sensual.

Oh, yes. Like she kept talking about how sensual the books were. And I was just like, I can't even possibly think about you reading this and getting downstairs horny. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's not good for, you don't want to not be sitting in a chair full of mommy soup. Oh God, I never want to be in any kind of mommy soup Unless it's a clam chowder This is also the saddest statement I've ever heard Please

I adore him Melanie Griffith says She is very private about her life And I respect that They've gotten to know each other really well And are very comfortable from one another Chris sends Dakota his music to get her opinion It's more than just the fling It sounds like Melanie Griffith has not spoken to her daughter

and 15 years. Yes, what it sounds like. I'm fairly sure that this is exactly what's happening. But also, why Chris Martin? Because he gets around. He's slick with the ladies. He's got the tape on his fingers that seems to entrance women. I don't understand why anyone would want to sleep with Chris Martin.

Very talented. No, he's not. Technically, if you look at the numbers, he's very talented. I mean, I don't. It takes a lot for him to put those songs together. He doesn't do any of it. He does. He does.

He's like Lord Creator. He's like in every single inch of Colplay. He does a lot of work. I mean, Colplay's lame, but a lot of people like it. I'm not trying. I mean,

it's weird to be in a position where I feel like I'm defending Coldplay. Yeah, because you definitely are. They don't need my defending of it because millions of millions of people. So listen, it's like them and you too.

You two's still massive. People love you two. I mean, with or without you is a great song. But it's fine. But it's now at this point where you two is just kind of hand delivered to each human being.

So even the idea of saying, like, I'm a fan of you, too. It's like saying stuff like, I'm a fan of, I'm a fan of shoes. I'm a fan of Samsung. I love Samsung. I mean, there are a lot of people that get paid to say that. But I'm saying that's the same thing with people I imagine who openly defend you too. Well, Coldplay's fine, but the two of them are just perfectly. I mean, 16-year-old me loved Coldplay.

Yes. I mean, yellow. That yellow song helped me get word in high school. Ugh, don't say that in front of me. Giving that stick back in the day, and it was three seconds long. I thought it was more Dave Matthews band than anything. Crash in me also helped. Under the table on dreaming.

Crash in a dream. How many times have you seen Dave Matthews band in concert to get laid? Twice. And a coming time. Did you pay for it both times? Of course. Wow, that's very gentlemanly. Oh, yes.

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I've been obsessed with the Hepcat scent, though. It definitely makes me feel leather sexy without the morning shame. And again, it really lasts all day. I'm out hip-hopping all day, every day, and I carry it with me like my favorite flask. Try on Flur. They make sustainably crafted award-winning perfumes. I dare you to try it because you will love it. Go to flurr.com today and use promo code page 7 to get 20% off your custom flur sample set.

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Interesting. Well, they were sitting with Nick Cave. Dakota Johnson and Chris Martin, they were at lunch with Nick Cave. Whatever. And they just, they didn't touch each other. They didn't look at each other. This is such a weird report.

This is an eyewitness. They came in and they were really, really nice. Like, extremely nice. It was a surprise. If that would Nick Cave, too. I didn't even see them kiss or hold hands or anything like that. They ordered some starters. Not a lot of food.

Not a lot of food. Which is, what a waste. I know. Well, I guess apparently Sushi Park's pretty good. Fucking assholes. You're not gonna fucking just drown in sushi there? I must have eaten like $300 worth of sushi.

Chris Martin doesn't look like the kind of person that would eat $300 worth of sushi. Why? Because he looks like he would just like take out the grains of rice and just be like, I like this look. It's possible. It's possible.

He's not even attractive. The more you fight him, the more it seems like you do love him. I don't love him. And I find most men bangable. Also, Gwyneth's got good against Gwyneth's reaction, although Paltrow doesn't really know to go to Johnson. Very good response. It's like the Mariah Carey of when they said, like, how do people, I think, who was she having a feud with? Was it Nikki Minaj or was someone?

And she was like, who was that? That was Nikki Minaj and Cardi B. Is that what you were talking about? No. No. No. Whoa. Mariah Carey got into a feud And she did the never heard of her

She's been in a lot of feuds She's upsetting woman But they say Gwenna's happy Chris is happy She only wants what's best for him I'm certain What I find interesting is that in this interview That they pulled this from

Gwendoffautro goes on this long diatribe About like I see Chris Martin like a brother It's like that's rough That's real rough That's not how I see my brother Yeah It's like we were married And had two children together

It is Right called the podcast. Mm. And Tony Banderas and her got divorced, too. I forgot about that. You forgot that Antonio Banderas was with Melanie Griffith? No, I don't forget that.

Ever. I'm saying I forgot that they got divorced. Yeah, it's really sad. I will always love him, but he will always love me. We had a great 20 years to go to them. That is not what Melanie Griffith sounds like she is an angel and she is a dream. I figure if you love somebody and you're going to have children with them, how could you stop loving them?

I don't know. Why would you have I make it so your children were with them? We and both of us together. It's like a big huge family. It's really cool. She's not the brightest, but do you remember how many times we've seen milk money? I love milk money.

It helped me grow as a boy into a man. It was it because of the Pocahontas outfit? Mm-hmm. Remember she had that really slutty Pocahontas outfit? Was that Ed Harris, right? Yeah, that was Ed Harris. Man, I was also talking about Charles Groden last night. Definitely hashtag Woodbang because we were watching...

No? Yeah. Charles Groton. Yes. I would totally bang Charles Gruden. Not anymore. He's in like his 80s. Do you even beg that?

Charles Gruden? Yeah, sure. Weird. Beethoven! The problem is that if you're... The problem is that your opinions on the men, the more, the more men are lumped into the I find this person to be attractive, it starts to lessen the value of your opinion of who is attractive.

Is it, are you saying this because I find this person to be attractive? find Rick Moranis attractive and I'm excited that he's going to be in the SETV documentary. No, Rick Moranus is cute. Not anymore. He shakes. How does he shake? He's bad. He's got Michael J. Fox.

No. Yeah, he's shaky. No, look at it. Look at that up. I don't think that's true. I thought he had to. He's got something. Charles Gloden got little clit lips.

No, I'm talking about Rick Moranis. I'm talking about Charles Grotin right then. Mick Moran is shaky. Right? Rick Moran is shaky. A lot. Rick Moranis shaky. McMoranish shaky.

How shaky is he? We turned out. Oh, no, he turned out of the Ghostbusters reboot because he thought it was going to suck. Well, he wasn't wrong. He looked good. He does look good. Well, I know that he got it. He got out of it because he wanted to raise his children.

He got out of the line. His wife died. It was very sad. But I thought that he was shaky. This is not the information we want. Where's the shakes? How shaky can a man be? Too shaky to be an actor.

Well, it's because we put in Rick Moranis shaky. That's why nothing's coming up. Is Rick Moranish too Jewish? That's another headline that's not good. I'm going to say Rick Moranis. I think he's just Jewish and up. Parkinson's. But also Michael J. Fox is about to do something else as well right now, right?

He's under an incredible amount of medication, and it seems to be whatever therapy he's working on is working very well. Neil Diamond has Parkinson's. Yes, he did. He had to retire from, he had to retire from fucking, what's his puts from, touring.

I'm sure that douchebags that want to sing Sweet Caroline all over the world are sad. Meanwhile, Neil Diamond has so many other wonderful hits. Oh yeah.

No, I love Neil Diamond. Crunchy Cornwall sweet. Wonderful song. Oh, I love that song. What's it? The Traveling Salvation Show. What's right? In two days past 18,

he was waiting on a bus foot. That's, um, Dixie Chicks. Dixie Chicks. Why did you jump to Tixie Chicks? It's traveling soldier What? I cried

Never gonna hold the hand of another guy Too young for him they told her Waiting for the love of a traveling soldier Nope It's so sad she falls it It's a story song She falls in love with a boy She's 18

He goes to war Yes They write to each other She says that she'll never love another. Okay. And then he dies. But this is a song, though, it's not real. Well, I mean, isn't it the real life story of a lot of people out there? I think you made up the concept that Rick Moranis is shaky because nothing says anything about a palsy or Parkinson's. You're just saying he's shaky. I mean, you know, maybe he's too Jewish. He's too Jewish according to that article.

That's rough. But he's going to be in the SCTV reunion. I'm very excited for that. I'm so excited about that I love Catherine O'Hara so fucking much. I love her. I love her. And I'll tell you what, I won't ever stop loving him. Charles Groton would banges all I'm saying. I'm just, sure. That's fine.

But I guess. He's got a face like a founding father. You want him hovering on top of you? You know what it is? I don't know if it's so much hashtag bangable as it is hashtag fatherable. Like, you want him to be the father to your child? Yeah, because I think that he's rational.

And I think that we have the same type of scream talking. He is only a father as an actor. I'm sure he's father in real life. How old is he now? He's old. Who is? Why are we talking about this? Clifford.

Clifford. That's why you brought it up. That's where you jumped to. It's just I've been thinking about Clifford a lot lately. It's very, very fun. Especially since your mandate was mostly Clifford. That's true. He is 83 years old.

Yeah, I'm not. talking about now I'm talking about Clifford age. This is what you want? Ew, no, he's old. Ew, it looks like Orville Redenbacher, but gay. Good. Oh, that's a real good one. Yeah, good dig.

Oh, my God, he's so old. Look at how old he is. That's what you want him up on top of you? God, I just hope that some day. Yeah, but look at him as, when he's young, he's really attractive. No, he's not. He looks like, I don't know. What sex scene is that from?

What is that? What? What sex scene? I don't know what that's from. That's with Candace Bergen. Is it the private life of a modern woman? Oh, no, that's a new movie. What's the movie? What is that?

11 Harrowhouse. Sounds boring. Yes. Where's Beethoven? Oh, yeah, and Heart and Souls. Good. That's actually, I like that movie quite a bit. Although Robert Downey Jr. was definitely the hubba hubba of that.

Obviously. Man, you know, he went downhill. So, so fast. Who? Actually, no, he does look still pretty good. He looks fucking great. You're right. I take that back.

I completely take it back. I take it back. I think I'm just thinking of like less than zero drug era Robert Denny Jr. Sure, yeah. When he was, yeah, 40 years ago, he looked like a different dude. But now he's looking good. I think he's tight. He's fucking Iron Man.

He's about to finally retire, hopefully. Is he actually going to retire? I think he's going to retire. I think he's going to retire after he does the Iron Man movies. They're saying he's trying to get out because, I mean, honestly, you've been doing this for so fucking long. I bet you that just, Just that PR junk that's alone for doing all those superhero movies just make you want to blow your brains out.

You know who needs to retire? Oh, one Mr. Johnny Depp. Whoa. Oh, yeah. He had like a fucking blow up. Did you see this? He attacked one of the crew members because he was drinking all day long. Well, how is he supposed to act if he doesn't have his nine glasses of wine?

I mean, as someone that is also a... A fun time girl is what I call? Your fun time woman. I'm a fun time girl. He said he did, he got the guy's spitting guy's face and he said, I'll give you $100,000 to punch me right now, which he should have done. I definitely... It's $100,000.

I would have punched him for $100,000. I love it. So he's doing this movie called Labyrinth. But the investigation to the murder of Biggie Smalls and Tupac Shakur. Are you excited for this movie? I am, honestly. It sounds like it would be pretty good. I actually have the book on the way to me right now.

Did you ever watch any of those beefs, the beefs documentaries? You say it, beefs. I'm actually very hungry. Oh, I'm sorry. Well, there's got, they had, I don't know, I just remember watching the rip rapists and they had beefs. And if you look at beefs documentaries, they go into all the beefs that they had. Whoa. Man, they all didn't like each other.

Well, part of it was kind of constructed and also they did a lot of them walk the walk and were actual criminals for a while. And some of them weren't. Obviously, some of them weren't. I'm going to get into this eventually. Once you get the book that is being said to you. Yes. Man, but Johnny Depp, he is methed all over. He is drunk as. fuck and you know what put him to bed you know maybe he just needs to go away I just think

if you do drugs and that kind of level of boozing after a while your brain's gonna go but you just get blotto and then eventually you just shouldn't you should just stop being public well for years he's had to have an earpiece on him because he can't remember any of the lines you know I give credit to for all of this shit Jack Nicholson Jack Nicholson knew he was starting to get irate and that's what he said is that I was having trouble with lines I was having trouble with the hours and shit and so he just backed the fuck off. Yeah, but now he just does rails of blow

and just having a great time. Yeah, he just like has sex with a bunch of hookers. He did not get married for a reason. And that's why I say good on him. You know what? If you're going to be an asshole for life, do it. Do it what you got to do. Just go fucking, just don't do it for the detriment of your wife and children

and your family. Just go do it. Go have fun. Have you seen him in the blind items? Oh, there are a lot of blind items about him and like BDSM rooms and stuff. stuff like that. He's just looking for anything to maybe try to get his penis to work again.

He's very old. I mean, I get it. I think that's most sex life, right? I also wonder what's real and what's not. You have to remember a lot of times with blind items. Things are specifically placed by high-powered... Yes. No. Yes. I take it all as

fucked. Some of them are fact, but a lot of it is also, remember, you're getting information from PR companies. They want you to read this stuff half the time. That's how it gets to where it was. So PR companies are paid to either hide this information or publicize it. Some things are truly leaked when like Charlie Sheen's stuff about him having HIV. I am listening to what you are saying.

I'm listening. I've got my enraptured face on. Show me your raptured face. People at home can't see it though, but it is wide-eyed and I will talk about this. Just remember, so things that you're supposed to know on purpose and there are things that they want you to know because it helps. So Jack Nicholson has a very powerful PR company. He wants all these rumors about him being super kinky because then it comes back to that he's still active. He's virile.

He's virile. He could do all this shit, which is probably not the entire truth. He is definitely one of the ones that has never been on my wood bang list because he looks just like our father. Yes, he looks just like father. Man, all the pictures of him from years ago

when he was eating that sandwich on the boat. Yeah, awesome. Looks just like dad. Just like dad. Hell yeah. That means the opposite inspires me. There's another dad. I want to talk about.

Which one? Caramo, Bron. He is like shockingly old. No, he's not. He's like 39. He's head in. I mean, the only reason why I said shockingly older than I thought he would be

because of how young he looks. He's got a 16 and a 17-year-old. He is very charming. We've talked about before. He's getting married to this dude. They've been together for a while, right? They've been together for a long time. He is a director.

His name is Ian Jordan. They look so happy together. You want to talk about publicity stunts. They made sure they. that every single one of those queer-eyed dudes were in there. Oh, that makes a lot of sense. All the Instagrams. But you know what?

They actually all seem to be vaguely actually close. I think that they are actually friends. Yeah, I think they are. Do you follow all of them on Instagram? I follow Jonathan. He's great. And Karamo, who's also great. He loves his kids so much.

And he's great. I'm so mad that you got Karamo and Karamo won't follow me. And I've tried to at him. and he won't follow me. He's wonderful. I love his whole, I love all his dance. I think that he,

I don't know. That whole crew of guys sounds great. I know. I love them so much and I can't wait for the second season to come out. We will watch that. That was like one of those

where it was purely pleasure to watch. It was just nice. It was like it helped at the end of the day to stop the madness. Mm, it did. Remember when things were quiet?

Do you amen? Remember when we smile. I do. We smile all the time. Yeah. I mean, it's brother's sister comedians that live together. All we do is laugh. Zabrowski roll call.

Who is it? Is it Jackie? Who is it? Jackie. Who is it? Who is it? Who is it? Who is it?

Who is it? It's Henry. It's Henry. Is it? It's Henry. Is it? Sometimes it's better. that. Most of the time it's not. Most of the time it's much worse than that.

Yeah, Karamo's got this. Karamo's very handsome. How does he, I mean, it's just like, how is he so on point all of the time? And also his sons, I'm not allowed to say this yet, but give me a couple more years, they are attractive. Well, he is heavily moisturized. Oh, that is a Photoshop job if I have ever seen one. We're looking at a couple pictures here where they are pretty smoothed out by Photoshop, but I don't think they really have to be. No, because he's already so smooth. His sons look older than he looks. Nah, that's not true.

These are all normal pictures. That's a handsome-ass couple. It is. They look really good. I wonder if they can have a baby. Of course they can. Do they adopt a baby? Do they have a child?

It's a great big, beautiful tomorrow. Do you think they have a baby? Do they have a baby? They don't have a baby together. The two, the two, like, Karamo's two sons are from a woman that he used to date. Oh, yes, yes, yes. Yeah. Ooh, they got it from Charm City Cakes.

Well, they hit all of the fucking big bets. Oh, he got, Karamo curated quite a proposal. Charm City Cates looks pretty good. And, oh, I watched it on Jonathan's Instagram story. Oh, my God. He's great. Jonathan's very, very funny. He's in L.A.

He does improv and shit here. He's very funny. I just want to meet him and I just want to speak. smell is hair. I bet you can. I bet it smells so good. I bet it does. Coconut oil.

Sure. I'm slapping coconut oil on it. I tried to drink coconut water yesterday, you know, because I'm an alcoholic. It tastes like jizz. Yeah. I don't like it. It's too viscous. I say it tastes like jizz, but I don't really know.

It does. Well, it's got the same, not that I would ever know, you know, I don't insect. Innocent. Yeah, I'm a born-again virgin, like everybody knows. And so once you become a born again, virgin again, and you sew up your vagina. All memories go away. It all, yeah. You never have to think about Jizz ever again.

Yeah, thank God. Hmm. I feel good about it. Yeah. But how do you feel about the reboot of Bill and Ted's excellent adventure? I think of all of the things that have been rebooted for my generation, this is the one that I am legitimately excited for. Me too. I think that I don't really like getting caught into reboot fever.

I fucking, matter of fact, I fucking hate it. But this. one is something I really, really enjoy. Because the idea I've heard sounds great. Yeah. It's coming back to them now. It's like in real time. Yeah.

They're older. I think it's great. I really trust Keanu Reeves. Kriano Reeves has been making nothing but good choices in terms of like his movies and the shit that he does. I think it's going to be great. I think it's going to be a lot of fun. Well, especially, have you seen all the pictures of him on John Wick three?

Yes. Oh my God. He is just. I still have not seen John Wick two only just because. Because, uh, we got to watch them all together. I know. Wait, you want to watch them all back to back? Yeah.

Oh, so you're going to wait until the third one at this point? No. Interesting. Earth to Mommies, Earth to Mommies! Mother's Day is coming up, and I never have any idea what to get the amazing woman that shot the Zabrowski gruesome, twosome out of her bounty. Because on Mother's Day, Tex ain't enough. Slap it down to Chinatown with every,

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we don't have Marcus here. It's scary. When it's judges, Marcus, but I feel like we've been very good. I think we actually, we've been, we stayed on topic too. Very tasteful. Yeah, we didn't get into any horror stories. We haven't said any words that we're not supposed to say. We did very good.

I think that we should be celebrated. I want a medal. Moroccan lemonade's for all. Also, I want to hear some people, so I've been seeing people drinking the Moroccan lemonade. Thank you so much for the support. Are they actually good, or is it just us? I think that a lot of people find them very delightful.

I find them very refreshing. We're going to have them again this weekend and double check because the problem is it was a part of Cheebden in 2018, so I don't know what was the weed and what was reality sometimes. Yeah, especially once we had that dragon stick. The dragon stick shifted a lot of my thoughts. I don't think I'll ever be the same. Eh, come on.

You think I'm fine? I think I should probably more deal with the acid 2018, if I'm going to talk about my brain never been the same. I would just say, just do the acid every once in a while. The last time I did it, I think that's good for me for a while. It's kind of fun, though, when the walls turn into, like, demons. Yeah, but the problem is, too much weed, well, eventually it does make you boring. And then too much acid.

Makes you more fun. No, it's the opposite. It makes you incomprehensible as a human being. No, I know. It's very bad. And I know that there are a lot of people that go actually crazy. Yeah. And the problem also, too, is.

It's just hard because you lose all touch. And then you become a shell of a person. And then... I'm already kind of a shell of a person. No, you're technically a, you're an influencer. You're actually too much person for one person. Mesh 2018, baby. That's what that means.

I'm wearing Mesh right now. Why did you wear mesh if you don't have to? What do you mean, don't have to? Because normally you wear Mesh to present yourself, just you and me. I don't want to look at it. I wear mesh all the time. I know, but I just... It's like a break.

My breasts aren't even out. Yeah, I mean, even just them being closer to me. It's more of my stomach that's out. I don't get upset by that. Sun's out, Tom's out, baby. It's fucking just one layer of cloth. No, no, no, no. That's why it's more fun like this.

No, I'm touching them. You wait, I just bought metallic, shimmery purple lipstick. It'll be cold again soon. No, it won't. LA, baby. And then the mesh will go away. I think it's time for the list. I have the list.

I have the list. Jack has got that list. All right, let's do it. Where's Marcus? Yeah, it's just so just looking at the list, so we're not even surprised by it. It's called Celebrities Born on New Year's Eve. Anthony Hopkins.

Val Kilmer. Donna Summer. Okay. Oh, John Denver. Whoa, look at his real name, Henry John Duchendorf. Dushendorf. Whoa, I didn't know he was a fucking Nazi. Sing him up!

Sing him up! Man, but John Denver, when he sings with those Muppets, he can't be stopped. Man, he loved the mountains so much. He wanted to be a part of them. Is that a joke? Gondrault take me home to the place. I belong, West Virginia, Mount your mama,

take me home. No, no, no, no. Is that you careening off the side of a mountain? Yeah. Bebe Newark. Bibi Newark. Oh, sigh, I can't believe I almost forgot about him. How could you ever forget about sigh?

I can't believe I almost forgot about gong-gongdom-style. Oh, Gung-Gung-N-Zar. Actually, now, I mean, time I think of Gangam Style, I think of Molly's mother because at Molly and Gideon's wedding, I didn't put Gangam Style on because I made the playlist for the entire wedding, which was perfect. And then some people requested songs, which pissed me off. But I'm going to put on Gangam Style. And Molly's mother taught me the dance. Yes. I remember Gangam style because it was huge during the shooting of Wolf of Wall Street. And it was what everyone used to dance to

on all the breaks. And what was the, the hero song was the Bruno Mars song. You're the one that introduced me to Bruno Mars. Yes,

during Heroes, our song was the, um, uh, that bat, dump, dup, dump,

dump, down, fuck you up. Up town, fuck you up. That was a song. Ben Kingsley, my favorite Indian actor.

Is he Indian? No. He just played Gandhi. Who James Reemar? Oh, he's got kind eyes. Who is that? Who's Lance Reddick?

Oh, is that the guy from Oz? In the wire. No, the wire. The wire. He was also in Oz. Donald Trump Jr. Go fuck yourself. Don't put Donald Trump Jr. on any list, rancor.

This was before. Oh, okay. Andy Summers. This is New Year's Eve. Oh, it was for the police. You don't like the police. We've talked about this. Didn't we recently talk about this?

I have one good song. Say, Nod, Ness-O-S-O-S. No, what about Rex? Don't like that song. I don't like that song. I don't like that song. I like reggae flavor with my British. Is it only with the British or is it just reggae?

No, I like, I like reggae. But I have to also be in a very specific state of mind for reggae. I have to be very relaxed. You have to be on a boat. I cannot be stressed and then reggae plays because then it reminds me of how stress I am and how mad that I'm stressed. But shouldn't you in turn listen to the reggae and think,

oh maybe I should be less stress? Fuck you! You know, I think that you need to turn your frown upside down. I think that... Oh my God! Oh God! Michael McDonald's. A fool of police.

I'm sorry, you know what? If you ain't down with a doo-be, don't sit by me. Don't sit by me if you can't handle some Doobie brothers because that's all that's playing at my wedding. We're going to do a groom's dance. I was trying to get Natalie to agree that I'm going to do a grooms dance where it's just a song plays it. It's just me dancing alone.

So you're not going to do like a... No, we will do a brides. We'll do bride and groom dance. dance. So Natalie also has to dance by yourself? Yes, she'll do a bride's dance and then I'll do a groom's dance. So you're not going to do like the like the parent dance? No. Why? Doesn't that sound like fun? Don't you want to, do you want mom's breast to touch your chest? There's nothing. I love better than the idea of touching our mother by the waist. A lot of people do it though. Don't look at the blind items. I'm going to read them to you. You're going to make me guess. I'm making you guess.

All right. You're ready to do blinders? Yeah, you ready for blind items? We can't see them. Where are they? I can't see them. They're right in front of me. Put your hand down. Just don't look at the screen.

Stop cheating. I don't want to cheat. This permanent A-list, mostly movie actress who has multiple Academy Award nomination slash wins, has been having sex with a 16-year-old who bagged her groceries a couple of months ago. Merrill Streep. I'm not going to look up her age, but a good, solid guess is that she's around four times his age. 16 years old. It is not Merrill Street.

But it is closer to the nanner than you know. Susan Sarandon. Wow. Yep. She has a thing for Youngs. Bang that bag boy, you old old woman. Paper of plastic. She's like plastic and you put it off your cack and you shit.

I don't think that she needs to utilize condoms. Oh, you think that they dug up those guts out? No, I think it's just like older women. Use a melon baller and they pull all the fucking guts out. I guess you still have to worry about STD. So that's why the STDs are so rampant in old people. Old women could still. get pregnant. No, they can't. Once their eggs ain't dropping anymore and they start getting all

hot, you can't get them anymore. I think you can make a woman pregnant. You just got to do it a bunch. I think that's only if it's before menopause. I don't think that I know that. Let me see. Let me see. I know Janet Jackson recently had a child, but apparently her eggs were still dropping. This is how I'm phrasing it. Can a bitch get pregg? Get pregg after menopause. There you go. Can a bitch get pregnant after menopause? Oh, it's saying a lot of dog stuff. Oh, it's all dog. Come on, man.

That makes more sense, though, at least. Can a lady get pregnant after menopause? You can't. As a redoubt is no longer produces eggs and this cannot become pregnant naturally. Hey, man, so I guess father time is the fucking condom, dude. Yeah, man. I can't wait to have my jibis all solidify. You can do any gushies, man, any gushes, man.

You can gush wherever you want. And that bag boy is certainly a gushing all over her Clementine's. Getting scorned. You ready for number two? Yes. Interesting, and we'll probably kill them. But this former acting duo, who still have a member of the family doing some acting, have been known to have a cigarette smoke off one day or one week contest to see who can smoke the most

and eat the least. Oh my God, we should do this. Sounds like a crowd pleaser. Mary Kate and Ashley Olson. Of course that's who it is. They look terrifying. It is, man, them at the MacGala. Well, one looks worse than the other one.

Yeah, but at the same time, like, what happened? They just are, they, you can't be happy and look like that. But are they sucking in their cheeks or is it just their faces like that? I think they could be a combo of the two. They'll look very drawn. It looks like they have, they look like they have. have an eating disorder, but I don't know. I mean, if they're having contests of

who can smoke the most cigarettes and who can eat the less. It sounds like that. I wasn't, I was saying it for myself. I wasn't correcting you. Oh, oh God, he's hitting me. No, no, through the magic of radio, she said I'm hitting her. Yeah, I can still do it. No, don't destroy everything I have.

I'm going to start telling everybody. I'm so scared of him. I've got built through to my career. I'm paying your rent. I'm scared. I'm scared of what he does. You're taking care of us. You are taking complete care of all of us, and I appreciate that. You're welcome.

Daddy. I am the father. Can you see my shoes? Why would I look at your shoes? I do not know. Blind item, number three. I've been talking for five hours. You sound great.

Uh-oh. Uh-oh. This permanent A-list, mostly movie actor, is married to a woman and in love with a man he meant on the set of his most recent movie. Always. They have been inseparable. He actually lives in a guest house of the actor.

This is John Trump. John, Dr. Oh my God. Still romantic. What a beautiful beast. Did you see the pictures of him in the new Fred Durst movie? Yeah, he looks great.

He looks, I think that the movie might actually be pretty good. Fred Durst may have talent. I don't, it's based on an action. like... It's like a stalker. A stalker that went after Fred Durst. Gosh, it's awesome.

And can you imagine like down the line being like, you know what? I'm going to turn this horrible thing into an awesome movie. I think that's what literally art is supposed to be for. What, new stories?

Jackie, it's about expressing. Yeah, but I want to watch Heather's again. You can. I want to watch Sabrina again. You can. I want to watch Colissa explains it all again. You can.

I would just watch the original Carissa explains it all. I feel like that's going to be a weird. reboot. There's a reboot? Yeah, man's coming back. Why? They make another show.

How are there no more original ideas? I mean, there's not really. On the end, they're forcing this on us. And then when Roseanne blows up, that's the reason why they're all act like it's justified. At some point, we just need to have a national walkout against these. People got to stop watching them.

They have to stop watching them. They can make another show. You can call it Marissa, explain some of it. And it's the same exact show. And you just have a dude, you just have, just steal the form? Can I be in it? I'll be like, Ricky Moranis, I think he's shaky. Yeah, that's perfect.

That's what you did today. Because Marissa explains some of it. I mean, I'm totally into it. I'm just an old rickety man. I know, but you're a fun old rickety man. I like the things I like. I know. I like dark chocolate.

I like different types of weed. I like heavy metal music. I like fantasy series. There's a good book I'm reading. A good series right now. I'm reading The First Law. What's that? Oh, Jackie.

Never mind. It's a postmodern take upon the traditional swords and sorcery story. I just finished book two of the series and it is wonderful. I'm asleep. I'm asleep. Joe Amber Crobby. I would rather read about Chip Gaines's baseball heyday in high school. I'm saying I just like I like to read.

Because it's an escape. Because your mind is like a magic carpet. And then when you use the imagination, it's like fuel for it. If the magic carpet had a fuel tank, imagination would be the fuel. Can you imagine how tight Chip Gaines' ass was in a baseball uniform? That's where my magic carpet takes me. Yeah, I bet. Yay!

She's going to start grabbing on them, grabbing on, I'm grabbing on. Well, this should prove very well. Thank you so much for having me again, and I'll be here for the next bunch of times. Yeah, you're going to be here a lot. We're going to be kind of switching out some of our favorite LPN hosts here to fill in for Molly while she is two months of being a mother, and then she's not allowed to be a mother anymore.

Back to work! And then she's immediately back to work. But honestly, congrats, Molly. I'm so excited to meet Freddie. I can't wait. You guys are going to be really good at this. I know what I'm so. happy and happy Mother's Day to all the mommies out there.

Yeah, happy Mother's Day to those of you that don't have to speak to your family anymore. Yay! And if you love what we're doing here, please visit our Patreon page. It is patreon.com slash page seven podcasts. That is seven the number. I really truly appreciate everybody that has been patroning at us, and I love doing it, and I love celebrity gossip, and I love everyone. And we got our T-shirts in, we got our T-shirts out,

and I have been looking sexy. I wish that the shirts were made out of mesh, but, you know... There's only so much that can be done. That's why I wear mesh for all of us. And I hope you're out there wearing mesh, too. Hell Satan. Hakuna ma fuck it.