Page 7 - Episode 261: Boot Scoot Adjacent

Episode Date: June 29, 2018

Molly's back! And she brought a special guest - baby Freddie! The gang discusses school dances, the newest addition to the Gaines family and Jackie's upcoming album of baby songs. To receive 20% off your first subscription box, go to http://bespokepost.com and enter promo code PAGE7. Thanks to Quip for sponsoring this episode. Get your first refill pack free at http://getquip.com/page7 Bossa Bossa, Off to Osaka, Too Cool, Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3. Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Quiet baby clap. Oh, quiet baby clap because we have a baby. Everybody, welcome to page seven, but most importantly, welcome Freddy to the world. She's here, everybody. You might hear her going, eh, eh, eh, ha, ha, ha. She has a range of noises, but those are most of them. Yeah, I have already been stopped mid-sentence a couple times by like a little squeak going to go, oh.

Oh, oh, ho. That was what, yeah, when Molly Fersh, she said, I'm going to come back, I'm going to bring Freddy with me, she might make noises. And I was like, no, never a noise from a child. But the best part is that I can scream as much as I want because I'm across the country. And you're only in my ears. I have a thing, even when I was pregnant with her, I had a strange and not factually correct assumption that whatever I listened to in my ears she could hear, but she's not in my

brain, you know, she was in my body. Yeah, but she, doesn't it, doesn't it transferred down into the womb? I mean, maybe in some sort of spiritual way. Absolutely not. Is it in your body? I feel like if I can hear it in my head, then my uterus can hear

it. I feel like that's how, like, when I was a kid and I learned about how Beethoven would play music by, like, feeling the vibrations on the floor. You know, maybe she could, like, feel the vibrations in my brain. But now she's wrapped to my outside of my belly and I assume that she can hear you Jackie but she can't

because once again she's not in my ears the headphones leak a tiny bit yes so she can probably hear you just a little bit which is maybe just the right in production to Jackie's Oh is that it? That's all you want for me? You don't want me screaming at your baby yet? Oh my God I am going to make that

baby my friend Well it hasn't been disturbed yet by my loud don't monkey laughed and I think everything's going to be fine. Yeah, yeah. She's pretty good. Everyone should just know that I'm just doing just a little gentle jostle. Yes. And, you know, if she starts yelling, I'll step away from the mic. Well, we do have Henry on standby. We've got Henry on standby in case there's a baby meltdown. We've got everything all planned out just in case. Henry's being a real champ for being on standby for Freddie. Freddie owes him a drink.

And otherwise, Freddie, this will just be Freddie's very important introduction to the world. celebrity gossip and Freddie don't do as we say because don't do as we do or as we say because you shouldn't make fun of people based on their appearances and we do that a lot. Oh no but she can hear you guys. Now she can really hear you guys. What are you going to do? Yeah I mean I'm telling myself that you know I think language acquisition is important even from the very early days but I don't think that she'll absorb my values until a little bit later. So I'm singing like a lot of my favorites. songs to her, which are like very sad love songs, pretty soon I'm going to have to start finding

some happy songs, but all my favorite songs are sad songs. Oh, man, I can't help you with them happy songs. I don't even know what a happy song is. Wait, so what have you been singing to her? You know, I've really been trying to go through the like rotation of Magnetic Fields 69 love songs, because they're all nice and I know all the words to them. But part of the problem, when you have a screaming baby, suddenly you can't remember any songs. Yeah. Like, I feel like I know so many musicals. I know a good amount of, you know, bands, and she's screaming, and I cannot think of anything.

For some reason, I've had the Big Red theme song in my head from the 90s. Wait, which one's the big red one? That big red freshness gets right to it. Your fresh breath goes on, none. While you chew it, say goodbye a little longer, make it last less longer. Give your breath long, lasting freshness with big red. Oh, my God, I haven't heard that song in forever. I don't know why I have it in my head.

I haven't heard it in forever either. You should do a little bit of like, Mentos spedges, Mentos something. Mentos sped. Menas, but I'm all alive. Yeah, I've forgotten every song I know. And so when the baby's screaming, you know,

I've just, my reptile brain is going to the jingles. Molly, would you like me to make a list of songs for you to play and sing along to for the baby to calm the baby? Yes, please. This will be like when you made a wedding playlist for me, but this is like the much more old and boring version. I think that's great. It's going to be a lot of yacht rock. You're a rich girl and you come to the far and you know you can't cry anyway. Maybe I'll just make all the new lyrics for the baby. Yes, that's perfect.

You can rely on your old mom's titty. You can rely on your old mom's titty. You're a baby. and you've gone too far and you can't keep crying anymore you rely on your own Mount City just squirting it out to all the notes I think you could record this album and actually sell it to a lot

of new mothers I'm on board I'm gonna keep coming up man I'm ready for it I feel like there's gonna be a great one to walk it in Memphis do you like that song? Uh huh yeah all right walking with Freddy Walking did you gotta stop crying

Walking with Freddy Who gives a fuck what a beel is I had to look up what a beel was Because of that song A beal? Yeah, it's like Walking at a street doesn't meet all the bill And I never... It's a street, right?

I think it's like a port Or like some sort of dock All I know is that it's about Elvis for some reason A lot of songs are about Docs. I think Doc is a good guess. No, Beale is a street in Tennessee. Ah, Memphis. You know what? I lied.

I didn't look it up. So, you know what? You caught me. It's Tennessee's top tourism attraction except for Nashville. Aha. I don't think I would go there. I would go there. You know what? I take it back for the food. This could be part of your album, Jackie. You just get the

the karaoke versions of all these songs, you make up the lyrics, you sing, and then there could also be, like, vocabulary lessons throughout, you know? I think it's great, and also it'll be a good, it'll be a good way for me to not curse through the songs, because I don't want to curse in front of her right now. Yeah, we can curse in front of her right now.

Again, I think we've got a good, like, maybe five months before language acquisition becomes so important that we really shouldn't curse in front of her? Uh-huh, uh-huh. Yeah, but at the same time, we curse in front of my niece all the time, and they're, like, trying to get her to see, it's like, go ask your mother for a, road soda. Say that you need a road soda. And she didn't

under, she was like, I feel like that's not a good thing to ask for it. Like, come on Bella, ask for a fucking road soda. It'd be fun. And Jess will get mad, but she was too good. She's like too good of a kid. That's a problem. Yeah. Wait, did I tell you about how I saw her first slow dance? No. What? So, why? So she's on, she's on the, you know, all of the social medias and I watch it like a hawk because that's my job as an aunt because I know what's out there. I know what they're doing out there. And one of her friends, like, recorded her and her first slow dance.

And it was to the Beck Street boys. Wow. Something that we probably all have in common. Yeah, I could. I actually, well, I mean, mine was, um, kiss from Rose on a fair. And I remember just like at arm's length just being like, oh, I refer to this man as manatee. Why am I slow dancing with him?

Manatee had a fat head My first slow dance I put my hands on the boy's shoulders And then he Reached out and put his hands on my shoulders Do you remember what song it was to? No, I'm trying to remember I mean it was probably

I don't remember I feel like I wish it was to like Savage Garden Truly Madly Deeply but it was probably something much worse Yeah I don't remember at all Probably some country song some sort, like probably like a slow George straight song or like Travis Tritt.

I mean, I could get into that. Maybe Clint Black, Garth Brooks, possibly. I only really know the music of one of the people you just named. I would probably, I would imagine maybe a pop country song from, but like back when like real country was turning into pop country. Marcus, do you go to school dances? Yeah. Every once in a while.

Good for you. There wasn't a whole lot of them. Yeah. Because there wasn't a whole lot of school kids. Yeah, yeah, you went to a small school. So you didn't even have to be a wallflower. Everybody just dance with each other. Yeah, pretty much. But I didn't like it.

I was too cool for that. Of course you were. Molly, was your first slow dance at a hoe-down? Or was a boot scoot? A boot scoot? Thank you very much. No, I never actually went to the boot scooting. I was kind of boot-scoot adjacent.

Is it because of the puppets? I was too busy making that. That's basically the truth. That's the school I had stopped making puppets. No, like everyone, except for maybe, I don't know how bigger school was, Marcus, but I feel like most people's first school dance was in a sweaty gym. Yeah, it was still in a sweaty gym. There was about 50 people in the school, but, yeah, it was a sweaty gym.

Mine was in a cava gymatorium. Oh. That's even more quintessential somehow. And there was a lot of, what I mainly remember from my first school dance was, I had not been prepared for like the, what were like the cultural, I needed to do a good job of preparing Freddie with like cultural capital. Like everybody knew the words to that song, Hey, Mickey, you're so fine, you're so fine, you blow my mind.

I had no idea. And I was like, blah, da, da, da, but I was like trying to sing along and I couldn't do it. And Cotton Eye Joe was also very popular at the time. Cotton Eye Joe was very popular. Why do they still play that song at school dances? I got to say, I enjoy the hell out of it still. I hear it and I get happy. I mean, I always dance to it, of course, but it's not a good song.

In fact, it's a fairly grading song. Oh, yeah. The weird thing was that they used to be at our school dances. They used to play Cotton Eye Joe before the Rednecks remix. They just played Cotton Eye Joe because it was that kind of school. Because it's fun. I just imagine they would also just play the hamster dance as well. Well, in my mind, Cotton Eye Joe and the hamster dance are all in the same realm.

I love the hamster dance. Yeah, I really like that genre of music. I think it's a lot of fun. What's it called? What is that? Yeah, is it just like, I mean, I know it's not club music. Obviously, you can tell I go to the clubs a lot. Is that where they play at the clubs?

Is that the booty dancing I've heard about? I don't know. I don't know where they play it. Euro dance. Euro dance. Yeah. That would be. Both the hamster dance, well the hamster dance remix and the Cotton Eye Joe, yes, Euro dance.

Does the Vanga Bus song go in that category? I think so. The Vanga Bus is coming and everybody's jumping. Is that the six flag song? Yeah. Okay, yeah. Oh, yeah. But at the same time, I feel like at least twice a week, I get the, we like to party.

We like, we like to party stuck in my head. I like that song, too. I love all these songs. Oh, yeah, Eiffel 65, blue. Boo, babadie, babo da, da, bo da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-a-da-a-d. Yeah, that's also. That was on my, now that's what I call music three CD that I was obsessed with. Ooh, I'll bet three was a good one.

It was a pretty good one. I think there was Shania Twain on it. But I remember Ivo-Vil 65. What was that other Euro, not Euro-Trash? Euro dance song. Oh, wait, you look it up. Number three. Yeah, fucking opens with All-Star.

Yes. Oh, yeah. Yeah, what a perfect era. I would usually skip past that song. Boom. Maybe it's two that that's on, because three is like, that's Nookie is on that one. You got Hey Leonardo. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. You know what song I might have danced to? It was around this era. I don't know which now it's on, but I love that song and it made me really turned on. It was that song too close. What's that? Oh, don't get too close, I'm gonna goosh! Don't touch me, don't touch me, don't touch me.

That's what my too close song would be. It's the one that goes, baby, you're making it hard for me. I don't know, but you should sing that too proud. You would totally know it. It's like, something, something real close. Oh, you get it real close. Dandum new gloves. I know exactly what you're talking about.

Oh, now I've got to look it up. Yeah, that's odd. I know what you're talking about. Jackie, the one you're thinking of is now that's what I call music four. Oh, I know I had two through five because that was about the time for that. Well, three actually wasn't bad. I kind of like a couple of songs on three. But four, like, that's when it starts with full on like Backstreet Boys, Larger Than Life.

That's track one. That makes you larger all their life. Man, they are playing. They've got like a show in Vegas now And I think I have to go Oh that would be a lot of fun Right? I would totally go to that It moves on to Britney Spears

You know you drive me crazy Oh yeah you got Mark Antony Manduore Eiffel 65 comes in there Sonic Lenny Kravitz Savage Garden Joe Savage Garden What does Joe sing?

I want to know Oh How does that go I know it's I immediately go I want to know If he Bitt. RIPBish

RIP. Actually, that song was in my head earlier today. Like, I want to know is just making all kinds of appearances.

Now I, because I know, I remember having that CD. Oh, just play it, you little garbage can. We all had our tracks that we skipped past,

you know? Mm-hmm. Which one was the Mandy Moore song? The Mandy Moore song was Candy. I'm, missing you like candy yeah that's what that song was i'm missing you like i'm missing you like

i'm missing you like candy little baby come to me show me who you are yeah it's very it's very sexual i'm listening to i want to know oh oh my god oh my god this i want to know what turns you on I want to know I want to know This song is also another sexy song Sing to Freddie I know we're not going We don't want just sexy songs

But at the same time If a baby's screaming Don't you want to remember the time When you felt the sexiest? I mean I feel like I'll never feel sexy again That's how I feel right now No don't say that Molly That's horrifying

Don't scare everyone Molly You just made a lot my uterus just like shrink to the size of a raisin, just went, you know what, never mind. We take it back. Shrink to the size of a raisin like it does after you give birth. So how much did it hurt? I had a C-section and it did not feel like anything except, you know how when you're at the dentist and they say like you might feel some pressure?

It felt like they were yanking a baby out of my body. I could feel that. I just didn't feel pain. But it was really, really, really weird. That's weird. Very weird. And she was so small. She was four pounds, five ounces.

It felt like they were pulling like Ben Kessel out of my abdomen. Oh. I remember my mom said, because I was a C-section baby as well, she said that she heard the suction of them pulling me out of the uterus. Did you hear a suction? I don't remember hearing a suction because the jostling was just so, there was so much jostling. And I remember that the, so it was a, I don't know if it counted as an emergency C-section because I had. never actually went into labor, but I had severe preeclampsia, so they just called that they were like, all right, we're going to get the baby out in four hours. And they came back and they were

like, we're going to get it out now. And they wheeled me right to the operating room. It put me on like operating table. It was like as thin as a balance beam. And they were doing all this jostling to get her out. And I was like very convinced. I was a little bit on drugs. And I was very convinced that I was going to fall off the balance beam. So jostling, like they were trying to like work the baby out? I don't know why there was so much jostling. I wish that, and Gideon was there and he has confirmed that it was a large amount of jostling. Like it wasn't just my own perception. He was outside of my body and it still seemed like a lot to him.

Don't they have to like pull out all your organs or something, right? They just have to like a, like a, my friend explained the abdominal muscles like a bead curtain. They have to just pull the beads aside of your abdominal muscles and then go in to the uterus and then put it all back in. The C-section, at the beginning of the operation, they were like it will take approximately one hour and I was like cool I'll meet my baby in an hour and then I met the baby like four minutes later and then the rest of the time is them sewing you back up wow yeah I'm very proud of you for going through it you are a very strong strong human being oh thank you of course and I will get you that spot Spotify playlist very soon I really need it because I can't keep singing the big

red song to this baby and there's no other ones that are key Hits? Whitney Houston is good. You just go, how will I know? I think that is a good one. There's so many good songs. Like, they just all leave your head when you are like, when it's late at night and the baby is very unhappy.

I really, yeah, I'm like, it's like my, and also my brain is really not operating on all cylinders, probably because of the lack of sleep. Naturally. And so I really just need, I feel like I want to, like, print out your playlist, Jackie, and put it on the wall so that when I'm like at, you know, and really at like my wits end, it will also be nice for me because music makes me happy as well. The big red song does not make me happy. I feel like that would just make me slowly go mad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It just reminds you of like the power of commercialism. Yeah, just rocking the baby and releasing

that big red fresh gets right to it. There are a few perks that come from hosting a podcast, like being able to wag my breast around mesh 2018 style with no co-worker judgments. But one of my favorites is getting hooked up with a Box of Awesome from Beespoke Post every month. These guys are upgraded my already kissable style, apartment and life one box at a time. It's kind of like a present from myself to myself once a month. Similar to when I drunkenly schedule future pizzas to be delivered to me at random times. I love drunk me.

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time. To receive 20% off your first subscription box, go to boxofawson.com and enter promo code page seven at checkout. That's boxofawesome.com promo code page seven for 20% off your first box. Be spoke posts. themed boxes for guys that give a damn. I'm proud of myself for making the least amount of vagina jokes I could. Now what do you think that Jojo sings to her baby? Oh my God, a couple of things. First of all, Jojo's baby and my baby would totally be in the same grade if we lived in the same town. Yes. Maybe you can make that happen. Move to Waco!

Yeah, unfortunately, I think that I mean I have to move to Waco, not that moving to New York City. But certainly, if I moved to Waco, I would make them get me a house. She looked, my main complaint about Joanna Gaines is how flawless she looked right after giving birth. She looked just as beautiful as she always does. She really did. Hired a makeup team to come along. I guess so, but it's still not fair. They must have, right?

They must have had a whole crew of people, like, taking care of her, right? They must, but, I mean, even famous people have makeup people in the room? I'm looking at a picture of her right now, and she is in full makeup, and her hair is perfect. Her hair is perfect. Yeah, her hair is perfect, and she's, yeah, she's in full made. She's got on eye shadow, her fake lashes. She's got a team. I was in the hospital for three days before I gave birth, so.

by the time there was any baby around, if I could have taken pictures with her, I couldn't have because she was in the NICU, but if I could have, I had not showered for at least three days, probably three to four. It was rough. I felt extremely gross. And also, because of the preeclampsia, I had gained about 30 pounds in a very short period of time, and I looked like Eddie Murphy in any one of his films. Herculees, Herculees. That's what I would have said if I was there. It was a real how you do in situation. My hands looked like... I kept trying to describe what my hands looked like to people.

They looked kind of like inflated rubber gloves, but also much more like an actual, like a fat suit. The pictures were weird. Yeah. Like when you sent us some pictures, it was odd. It was odd to see. Yeah, it was real weird. But then now are we upset?

They didn't hear our cries. They did not name the big. Baby Gunt. And neither did you, Molly. Not even a middle name. Yeah. I heard your cries and I ignored them. Chip and Joanna may not have actually heard our cries.

Although Crew is about as close to Gunt as you can get. We were close. We actually did call that it was going to be a one-cellable name. Yeah, and Crew is a nice name. Like, no shade to anybody named Crew out there. But in terms of what we were kind of calling when we came up with Gunt as a potential name, And that's exactly the kind of name we were trying to contract, you know? Pretty much.

I just feel like it's like they may as well have named the baby one of the horde. You know, it's like baby number five and just calling it crew. I feel like crew is a nice name, but there's something about like a late in life baby named crew that it's just like, yeah, man, get in the pit. Yeah. Well, and also it's going to feel left out from all the D's and E's of its siblings. Yeah. But did you guys see that cute picture? of the siblings?

See, maybe this is you as a mother because I saw the picture of the siblings. So there's this picture that's someone that like, apparently someone took a picture of like all the other four waiting and listening by the door because they couldn't wait to meet their new baby brother. But at the same time, it's like, get out of there. I know it's very cute. It's a very nice picture and they were all very excited and I'm happy for them. But also like, get out of there.

I feel like if I had just slurped out a baby, I don't want to see the other kids because I would just like keep remembering how much pain they all caused me as well. Yeah, I mean, I guess it's a type of picture. I hadn't thought about like, I assume that wasn't them outside the door like while she was in labor because that would be maybe a little bit odd. Although I don't know how it works. Some people have a whole crew, if you will, in there while they're giving birth. I was like, people kept asking me who's going to be in the room when I give birth? And I was like, what? Who else would be there besides my partner?

But some people have their sisters. I was just visiting with a friend. She had like several sisters and her mom in there. So, you know, some people want a whole crew in there. And I looked up a people magazine article on the name crew. And apparently crew is part of a new trend of like kind of military sounding names. What else has gained in popularity is major as a name for a boy. Okay.

Canon, sailor, and ocean. Ocean is cute. I think ocean is cute. Major reminds me of Catcher 22. There's a character named Major Major Major. Yes. And Sailor, it just sounds like you're giving a derog-I-I-I- I feel like Sailor in any, it's always like a derogatory order.

You heard me-Saler? Yeah. Yeah, or just like, hey there, sailor. It's a sexual thing. That's true. It is sexual. I would name my kid, Porthole. Oh, Porthole Zabrowski coming on through.

I like it because you can see the poop deck. Oh, port. Oh, yeah, sheds light. I mean, I think there's a lot of things. I don't know any other marine term, I don't think. Name a kid Howardzer. What are the decks called besides a poop deck? Lido.

Oh, that's a good one. Lido's good. Aft. Starboard. Port. Oh, Starboard. Starboard. Starboard.

Starboard. That's a good name. Starboard. Starboard. Starboard, parks, get over here. Actually, shit. That's actually pretty fucking fucking. Starboard!

Starboard! This is my boy Starboard. I feel like Starboard would be a pretty evil kid. Yeah, Starboard would be a terrible kid. And his sister, Port. Yeah, because then it could also be the wine. Yeah. Is that a wine or is that a whiskey?

I don't know anything about fancy things. It's a wine. It's a wine. Or Coors is a good one too. And their middle name would be Banquet. So it would be nice. They'd get the heavier kind rather than a coarse light.

I don't know. Bankrupt Zabrowski actually sounds kind of cool. Yeah, filled with food. You always get the frozen yoga afterwards. I'm into it. These are my kids' banquet and ice. Two different types of cores that I like.

And our other brother, dry. But Molly, very important question. Have you been able to watch any of Queer Eye while you are nursing a baby? You know, I haven't, and I should because I need something to watch. The problem is that right now we're both, Freddie and I, we're both learning a lot about nursing, and it requires both of my hands. And so I started watching The Good Place, which is awesome. but then if something happens and she's yelling and then I miss something and I can't pause.

So I need something where it can kind of just, you know, wash over me and I don't have to listen very closely. But I've heard that the nuke where I is amazing. So maybe I'll try that. But I need like really, like the good place is too dense for my amount of attention that I have right now. I get you. Is that the one with Ted Danson? Mm-hmm. Yeah, it's very, very good.

Is it really? Yeah. Yeah. I like it a lot. Yeah, because I didn't pay much attention to it because all the subway ads when it first came out all said, what the fork? Yeah, and I hated that. Yeah, no, what the fork is annoying. But other than that, it is good.

Give it another shot. And other celebrity pregnancy, I told Marcus, all of my celebrity gossip is now filtered through the lens of other people. Mommy time. Yeah, exactly. But Chrissy Tegan and I have the same breast pump. What? She's just like us. She's just like us.

Did you see the picture of her and John Legend in the car she's driving and she's got little breast pumps on? Yeah. Yeah, that's called the Haka. It is a silicone breast pump. It's a suction cup. You put it right on your nip, and it catches all of the milk that comes out while you're feeding the baby on the other side. Does it hurt? Jackie's face right now.

I just imagine something squeezing on my nipples that's not sexual. and I feel like I'd be very confused. Yeah, it's not pleasant. Nothing. I mean, some people, I shouldn't say nothing about breastfeeding is pleasant. Some things are pleasant, but it all feels like suction cups on your boobs, basically. And so if you can get some sweet, sweet free breast milk out of it, it's great. And so, Chrissy Teigen and I are basically in a mom's group together because we have the same items.

I mean, she's just a great mother. I love following her on Instagram. She's just a goddamn delight. And how does she do it? And the kids are so great. Even, oh, my God, the other one is so fucking cute, too. And it's just like, oh, I just want to eat him for breakfast. But I also feel that way about all the queer guys.

So, you know, maybe I'm just, I just like to eat a lot of things for breakfast. Did you see the, she posted a picture? I don't, I didn't understand the John Legend looks like Arthur meme. Except when I heard it, I was like, well, he does look like Arthur. Oh, he totally looks like Arthur, yes. But she posted a picture of Luna. the bigger baby with an Arthur stuffed animal and said Luna with her dad. That's pretty cute.

They're just like us. They know the memes about them. Just like us. They're just like us. But yes, please watch Queer Eye. Marcus, have you watched any Queer Eye this season? I have not. I mean, you will cry.

We've just been crying. We're watching it as a family, and we just cry through all of it. And it's wonderful and fabulous. And I've been thinking about stalking Jonathan because I know that he does shows around here and I feel like I shouldn't you know why not because he deserves his privacy yeah and because he's a person but at the same time I feel like we would be really good friends that's how every stalker thinks that's how absolutely how every single stalker thing that's that right at the top of the stocker playbook right yeah yeah that's like I know it's like he has his own life and his own

friends and everything like that you know and I know he doesn't want to be bothered and all that but that's the thing is that he doesn't want to be bothered by like other people like he'd want to be bothered by me because I think if we actually met each other and hung out with each other like all the time, but I think that he'd really, really, really, really like me and then possibly might marry me. I know we won't marry me, but I would at least try to kiss him, yes. Only once and only if we were both really drunk. But you're right, I shouldn't, I shouldn't stalk him. I'm not going to stalk him.

I mean, at least, but I'm also, I'm big into Ton this season, so there's a lot of French talk talk. but French tuck is just tucking the front of your shirt into your pants and not the back of your pants. Is that that a good thing? It's a good thing. I guess it's back. It makes me think of more of like the, like when you would wear like the no fear shirts. Like I used to do that and tuck the front in. It's exactly what it reminds me of that era.

And it also sometimes either reminds you of that or it looks like an accident to me. Yeah. When did you tuck your t-shirts into just the front? The late 90s. Yeah, it was a big thing. Oh, yeah. Missed that one. Yeah, kind of blouse them out.

Yeah, and you get like a shirt that was like way too big and just tuck in the front. Okay. I definitely wore a lot of clothes that were way too big for me. Way too big. Yeah. Or way too small, just dependent on the day. And then when you wore it way too small, you're just like, I'm too big. What am I doing my life?

Can I make a plug for the one piece of new pop culture I have been able to successfully consume? Please. The show Pose. on FX is new. And it's about ballroom culture in the late 80s in New York City and it is so good. It's amazing. I've only seen the first episode

I am on board. What's it called? Poe. Pose. Pose. Pose. Pose as in live, work. Pose. Fiction, nonfiction? Fiction. And it has like the large,

it employs like the largest amount of trans people like ever employed by a, like a famous television show. trans actors, trans writers. It is so good. Fair warning, the first episode is like a movie length. It's like an hour and a half. Oh, yeah.

It is really good and really funny and, like, really beautiful. And I, like, really want it to be very successful because it has, like, a lot of up-and-coming actors and also a lot of, like, really amazing writers behind it. And it's, like, the one thing, like, that anchors me. And I like it because I don't have to watch Westworld on Sundays anymore because Westworld was getting too complicated. You know, I didn't even watch any, I didn't watch any of the season. Too complicated.

I didn't understand what the fuck was going on. Yeah, I fell off of it. I watched the first two episodes and I was just like, I don't have the brain space for this, especially on a Sunday night. And I know that if I just gave it more time, if I could just sit and watch it not blitzed out of my brain zones, I probably would be able to follow it. However, I know a lot of people that aren't blitz out of their brain zones when they watch it. And they still don't know what's going on.

Yeah, I've been sober as at Church Mouse. And it is worse that way because it's complicated and too complicated to follow. Everyone else in my house is into it and I was like, I cannot do this. Like if you asked me what happened after an episode of Westworld, I just watched it. I could not tell you a single thing that happened. Sometimes when you watch something like that in your blitz, like you can convince yourself that you know what's going on. Oh, yeah. You make it up.

Just like after we saw Hereditary, which Molly, I know this is not a movie for you, but also maybe tell Gideon to go watch Hereditary because it's amazing. My God, it's so good. I want to see it only because everyone I know is tweeting about it. It's so good. Oh, it's so great. However, I started looking into Millie Shapiro who played Charlie. I'm not saying anything about the movie.

Don't say anything. I'm not saying anything. Nothing. Nothing. But Charlie, I just wanted to see. I was just like, where is she from? What's her story? Yeah.

So she played Matilda on Broadway for a while. She won like a special Tony But she She's got a music group With her older sister And it's called the Shapiro sisters And I hate it And I hate to say this

Because I was looking into it I was just like Is she just like I thought that maybe she had some sort of deformity I don't think that she does But the singing You know It's just that when you sing as if you're an adult

And you're a child And I understand that her mom is like a bit of a momager and move them to New York and started putting them on Broadway and was throwing them into a bunch of stuff. But there was just song, there she was singing born day. They were like, I was born to entertain. And I, I, I, they have, they have an album out. They have an album. I listened to the entire album. Why?

Because I was just getting more and more angry. Every second of it, she's got a beautiful voice. For a child, she sounds fine. But I just, it's just, you know, Ha! Jackie, why would you do this to yourself? Why would you listen to a whole album of children singing if you hate children singing? I like to get angry sometimes.

And I got, I was just so mad about it. I mean, I'm very happy for her. You know, I'm glad that she's doing well. And this is her first movie, movie, and she kills it. But, yeah, I just, you know what it was? There was a New York Times article out about them years ago. And it was just like, Torch Solo, then Jammy Time was the headline of the article. And I just, even that infuriates me.

Yeah, no, that's not okay. Yeah. I just, she just, it's weird. And I feel bad because her older sister is obviously not as talented, but she is way prettier than she is. So it's kind of sad A fair redistribution I guess

It just kind of depends It depends on where you are in life You know I always feel bad when the older sibling Like when there is Like when the younger sibling is really famous And the older siblings not Because I just feel like it disturbs the order

Of siblinghood Yes It's not supposed to work that way Yeah No I would never I mean I'm glad I'm the youngest Because no one can never be better than me Baby

Although new interesting headline that came out today, Carrie Fisher had affairs with Freddie Mercury and David Bowie as a teenager. Really? It's not that surprising. It's not. It's definitely not, but I mean, she was 17. So as of right now, I mean, I imagine they would be like hated and that sucks. But it's like at the time, she was like, she was a huge star and they were huge stars.

Things were different back in the 70s. That is a great couple of dudes to have an affair with. Man, that's about as good as it gets, honestly. It really is. I think what made me really, it's like, I always, there's a lot of things that I love about David Bowie, but it was just this specific line that it was just like, she had said,

David Bowie seemed to survive for days on brain sizzling cocaine, drinking only milk for nourishment. And I was just like, fuck, yeah, baby. Milk and red peppers. Uh-huh. Isn't that how you keep mummies away? For years, it was cocaine, milk, and peppers. That's all Bowie ate or drank.

Is that why the Zabrowski's love milk? That was one of the first times I ever saw you perform, Jackie. You were talking about how you guys love milk, and I've never forgotten it. We still drink milk all the time. I drink way too much milk. I drink it as a hangover cure. I drink it at night. I drink milk all day.

I think I drink too much milk. I mean arguably any milk as an adult is too much milk because it's really I had a big glass of milk with my meatloaf dinner last night It always a little bit makes me it's not I don't mean it is a judgmental way It's just I think of milk as a drink for children I understand I feel I feel harshly judged it does sound judgmental when I say it that way I just think it's weird but adult drink milk Oh man I was I was drunk the other like a couple of weeks ago and I was drinking milk

and I spilled the milk all over my bed, and then I forgot about the milk, and I woke up in the morning, and I was just like, why is it? What is it? And I was like, oh, no, the milk. And then I realized I'm not an adult. I am just, it was truly bad.

I mean, I drink, I love milk. I'm big milk guy. But who gets drunk and drinks milk? The Browski. Oh. I understand if it's like in a mixture, like if you're drinking, white Russians or something like that, but who just drinks milk after a night?

Like, is this at the end of the night? Yeah, you have a jizzy. You got a couple of jizzies. And then you know what? To just quell the urges to keep going, slap a bunch of milk in your craw. You know, the great mixture of gin, fizzy water, and milk. Oh, who wants a big glass of gin and milk? Gets me through the day

And I'm feeling just okay You give me that calcium Give me that spurt I need my milk right now And that's what I sing Whenever I drink my milk at night No matter who you are Where you brush

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That's your first refill pack free at getquip.com slash page 7. Spell G-E-T-Q-U-I-P dot com slash page 7. Elon Musk, if you're listening like I know that you are, I'm down to Adam and Eve the H out of Mars. I also like referring to it as cow squirt, but that's also just me. Cow squirt's fun. Do you think they have a different view of milk now, Molly, because it comes out of your breasts? 100%. It's really disturbing to me that I'm a mammal. Yeah.

It's really weird. It's fucking weird. I'm not over it. I'm covered in milk all the time. And your description of waking up in the bed is full of milk. That's my daily life. Oh, my. Yeah, I remember that with my sister. I remember just like she always kind of smelled like old milk. Yeah. Yeah. That's rough. rewind the tape to when I said I'll never feel sexy again. You know, I'm covered. Covered in milk. My husband is covered in milk.

The baby's covered in milk. Just all the time. It's just a lot of milk. Is it you find that it's more viscous than the milk you buy at the store? No, it's just a lot like, it looks to me like, I drink almond milk, but it looks to me just like regular almond milk, you know? It's sugary. Oh, so almond milk is fine, but regular milk is for children.

I don't drink a big tall glass of almond milk. I drink it in my coffee, although I did sometimes when I was pregnant to have a big tall glass of almond milk. And I know that that's annoying in its own right. I used almond milk and cereal one time, and that also, it just wasn't the same. It wasn't good. It's like milk light.

I felt like there was water inside of my milk. Yeah, I think if you're just like fake meat, if you're used to the real thing, then it's probably very not satisfying. If you're not used to the real thing, it's a nice, satisfying plant-based milk. Although I've been eating some great veggie burgers lately that really do the trick. Really? Mm-hmm.

Just throwing it out there. Good for you. What is it? The beyond the something? Beyond the beefs? Beyond the burger? Beyond the meat. Beyond meat.

Ender's beyond meat. I like it. I dig it. I like them with a black bean in them. Yeah, it's made out of beans. But it also almost looks like it's kind of bloody on the inside, which I think it's fun. I don't know how they do it. It's magic.

It's vegetarian magic. I think I've heard about this. It's supposed to appeal to people because it bleeds. They ain't full of me. Yeah. They ain't full of me. You tell them, Marcus. I'm going home.

I'm eating a chicken soup. And you know what I'm eating for dinner? Leftover meatloat. Yeah. Did you make meatloaf? Carolina does. She makes a wonderful meatloaf. What she put on top of it?

Cetchup. Fuck, yeah. All right. Yeah. Interesting. Everyone makes meatloaf different, but you know, that's a whole other story. Oh, yeah, ketchup full of onions. Don't discuss, not in front of Freddie, please.

This is a sex-free show we got going today because the baby's here. And, you know, I feel scared. I feel scared about talking about daddy's in front of the baby because the baby's got a daddy. I know that we all have daddies technically, but, you know, it's scary. I think this show has ruined my ability to talk to the word daddy is really ruined forever, you know. Oh, and I'm putting that to the test because it's time for the list. Yeah. Who's on the list? Mark us. Gotta have that list. This is a list that

we're going to see if you guys agree or disagree on this one. It's a ranker list. This has been something that people have been up-voting and down-voting. Who is America's boyfriend in 2018? Ooh. Interesting. Okay. So we're talking, we're talking young-ins, right? We're talking youngans, we're talking oldens. We're talking just in general. Daddy's allowed? Daddies are definitely allowed here.

Well, I'll just go through the list, and you can give a yay or a nay. Okay. And starting at number one. Chris Evans. I always mix up the Chris's. He's Captain America, or he's the other one? He's Captain America. Yes.

Except for thinking about his face on a tiny man's body, other than that. I mean, he seems like an All-American person. boy. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Chris Pratt. A reluctant, yay. I have really, I've, I've, I've, it's, it's, it's, it's hard. It's hard. I, I, you know how I felt for so long, and I love Parks and Rec so much. I love, I love, I love Andy Dwyer so fucking much. Love him. But, but it's like a, he seems like he's not nice. Yeah, and he's too tight now, and it's not my type anymore, and that's not the daddy I want. And I think that, I think that, I think that he's hiding behind his Christian values, and I think that he was bad to Anna Ferris. Yeah, yeah, I don't trust him.

I trusted him more when he was in Parks and Rec, and I've trusted him less as he's gotten hotter. Yeah, and there seems to be a lot of media manipulation going on with him as well, because I've noticed on Reddit there are a lot of suspicious posts where, like, you know, Chris Pratt is definitely Andy in real life, and then he'll show him doing something like Goofy. I'm like that seems like a paid post. Yeah. That seems like someone's manipulating that to make like Chris Pratt look cooler than he is. More likable.

And he's been dating Catherine Schwarzenegger. Hmm. Yeah. So I think that he's just trying. I think he's too. I think these are all like political moves for him. Yeah. Not like politics wise, but you know, celebrity wise.

Oh yeah. PR moves. PR moves. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know anymore. Number three is the other Chris. That's Hemsworth.

That's Thor. I got to say, I have for some reason, seen Thor Ragnarok twice. Yeah. So have I. It's great movie. It's great. I really like him a lot. I would lick anything off of him.

I'm sorry, Freddie. Freddie don't listen to Aunt Jackie. I'm sorry. Your head number, she's not inside my ears. She can't hear you. Okay. She can't hear you. I'm the only one that's not allowed to talk dirty.

Yeah, you can. That's the new dynamic on page seven. And Jackie can say the most vulgar shit she wants. Marcus has to keep it PG. I have to keep it PG. Like I can use code words like meatloaf. Yeah, but if you're talking about meatloaf and talking about like Chris Hemsworth and just like, it's like, Gronia!

And I'd be like, lick, lick, lick, lick. And it's like, oh, are you sweaty? Lick, lick, lick, lick. It's like, I won't care. Whatever it is. I'm a Wendy the fuck out of him. I just want to lick it all. Woo.

What are at Ryan Reynolds, though? I would. I don't. I have it. I mean, you guys watch the Deadpools, right? Yeah, they're great. The first one's better than the second one, but they're still pretty good. I like his relationship with Blake Lively. It seems like they actually do love each other and they love working together as well. And he's, you know, he's got a little, he's got the character thing go and I'm into it. Yeah, I didn't used to like him. And then paradoxically, he became more appealing to me after Deadpool, even though he's annoying. You know, it seems like it's annoying, but I like him. He seems more interesting than to me than before. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, that's all part of the character.

Chris Pine. Actually, funny, most of these guys are in their late 30s. Chris Pine. It's because everyone understands that men just keep getting more attractive, more and more attractive. Unfair. It's not fair. I'm into Chris Pine, but I feel like I had to look him up

because he is one of those that it's difficult to pick out of a lineup. Yeah. Yeah, Wrinkle in Time, Chris Pine. That's what I call him. And he's just so chiseled. It's almost like, I feel like, I wouldn't be able to lick anything off of him because I'd be like, you know how pretty you are.

Too smooth like Benedict Cumberbatch. Yeah, but he doesn't look like an alien. But also, I would kiss Benedict Cumberbatch. Yeah, I would kiss Benedict Cumberbatch before I would kiss Chris Pine. Yeah, me too. Got a daddy for you. Ruffalo, Mark Ruffalo. I've seen all these damn Avengers movies lately, and he's really grown on me a lot.

Yeah, yeah. I have always loved Mark Ruffalo. I love everything about him. I love his salt and pepper hair. I love that he always looks like he's a little bit hungover and he hasn't gotten enough sleep. But I think that he would be a really good kisser. I haven't seen any of the Avengers movies.

Maybe I saw one. The one with Scarlett Johansson's butt. And apparently I think that's all of them. But I just remember staring at a big screen with her just like pert, thick ass. And Mark Ruffalo, I mean, what is he? The Hulk? The Incredible Hulk.

I'm thinking more of, there's this movie that he did with Laura Linney that was like about a brother and sister going through a hard time together and that is what I wanted to have sex with him in. I know what you're talking about. I would watch that movie. That's about the speed I need right now. Right? Like a sad family film.

You can count on me. Yeah. It's, oh my God. Yeah, but you're just going to cry through the whole thing, Molly. You don't need to cry more. Are you crying all the time? The first few weeks I was crying all the time. Yeah, they say that when you're pregnant, right before, like, towards the end of pregnancy,

it's the equivalent of taking 2,000 birth control pills a day. Jesus Christ. Yeah, and then 24 hours afterwards, after you've given birth, it's your back to pre-pregnancy levels of those hormones. It is a roller coaster. That's scary, Molly. Everything you say is scary. All of this is quite terrifying.

Yeah, and anybody who is or knows people who don't like hormonal birth control, know how unpleasant that sounds. I hate a hormone in birth control. They are mood-altering drugs. Yes. Yes, they are. You're damn right. I'm chock full of it.

I'm like, yeah, give me the extra one. Fuck, yeah. I'm high on hormones all the time. What do you think about Ansel Elgort? Who is that? Who? The guy from Baby from Baby driver. He's a baby.

He's too much of a little baby boy. He's 44. Is he really? No. Whoa, he's 24. I don't know why in my brain he was like 15. Yeah, he looks like he was 15. Yeah, he looks like when I was 24, I looked 14, 15.

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, he's 6. 3. Yeah. Yeah, too tiny. Mm-hmm. I'm very proud, though.

Now that I'm almost 36, my wrinkles are finally coming in. I'm proud of you. And also, I'm losing my hair rapidly. No, you're not. Yep. You don't look like you are to me. If I was able to show you, like, close it's pretty thin up there what are you gonna do are you gonna shave it all off

maybe but I got a weird monkey head would you also shave off your eyebrows if you had to shave your head why yeah just cut I just I'm gonna keep the sweat out of your out of your eye I get powder with it nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah no no no no no not throw them in the mud my baby doesn't have any eyebrows right now and it looks very cute on her but adult people without eyebrows You got to draw them on. It's quite unsettling. I think you would be able to pull it off, Marcus.

I think you can pull off. If anyone can pull off unsettling, it's you. That is true. I could swing it to my advantage. All right, it's time for blind items. Ah, we can't see him. This former A-list singer, who has not had a hit in a while, but still has really good name recognition,

had a bunch of people from the cult out and about at a concert this weekend. convincing people to give their contact information for a fan club for the singer. That wasn't it at all. All these people can expect is constant phone calls and emails from the cult. Scientology is the cult. Scientology is the cult. But what is the singer? So she hasn't had a hit in a while.

He hasn't had a hit in a while. Oh, he hasn't had a hit in a while. Well, Smith. Let's say Mariah carries on a site. Getting jigger with it. No, lifelong Scientologist, like from birth. Singer. Will Smith?

That's what I just said. Getting with it. Will Smith wasn't a lifelong. He wasn't born into Scientology. It was fresh on my mind because if you're getting jiggly with it, reference, though. Hell yeah. That and also Miami is constantly stuck in my head, but that's... Welcome to Miami.

I'll sing that to the baby. Oh, that's a good one to sing the baby. More help. Marcus, more minutes, more hints. Who is the, who was the one musician that you were disappointed to learn was a Scientologist? Beck? Beck. Whoa.

Oh, no, don't farm it out, Beck. Come on, dude. I forget that he's a lifelong. Yeah. It is such a disappointment because he's so sweet and cute. Yeah, but I mean, it's not his fault, though. You know, he was born into it. It's like, who's the other one?

The woman from a handmade's tail? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, she's also a lifer. Yeah, but at the same time, it's like, yeah, but jump off the boat. Come on. I know they can't. They really can't. Yeah.

Yeah. That's scary. Wait, so where was he doing this? At a concert. He wasn't doing it. Well, it was the All Points East Festival. So I would imagine just a bunch of Scientologists bought tickets and then said like, oh, no, you're just the Beck fan club.

And now it's just Scientology. Which is not the same as the Beck fan club. Oh, no. Well, I'm sure they're. some Scientologists that I'm sure there's a Venn diagram I just wish I could sign up for Scientology for like six months you know and then jump out How many

Lost Souls have said the exact same thing Don't do it, Jackie Should I not do it? Should I not do it? You shouldn't dip your toe in a Scientology, no I could imagine you're just doing it for the lulls though And then like a year later we're like we haven't heard from Jackie And I'm just having a great time

I never, but yeah, my problem is that I can't wear mesh. If I could get them to allow me to wear mesh, I would consider it. For my career. And the other one we got today, this former A-plus list, infamous celebrity, recently got a breast enlargement because she thinks it means she can charge higher rates to her creepy clientele. Lilo? No, no, no, no. She's infamous.

She's not famous for anything other than. than the crime she committed. Or did she? Dun, dun, dun. Crime she committed. Mm-hmm. Casey Anthony. Casey Anthony.

Whoa! Wow, great gas, Jackie. Yeah, that's a good one. How can she afford it? Because of her creepy clientele. Because she's working at, she's yachting. Oh, she's yak-shacking. I didn't really, how does she?

I think all fucking should now be referred to as yak-shacken. I really didn't. I love yak-shacken. Ah! Ah! Oh! Oh! Oh!

I didn't think that she was, um, cool enough to go yachting, though. Oh, man. There's definitely, there's a sub-genre of people who really, really, really, got a thing for Casey Anthony. Yeah, I was going to ask, who wants to yaxack Casey Anthony, but I guess it's... Let's just say if you Google Casey Anthony Photoshop, there's going to be some real interesting things that come up. Yeah, I got a little curious during our Casey Anthony series. How could you not? How could you not? And I did. And it was. And I found out. How could you not? I could not.

And so, yeah, there's been rumors for a very long time that this is how Casey Anthony makes her money. Because she hasn't had a job since, you know, in what, seven years. Yeah, who would employ her? Some people say that, you know, she works for the private investigator that works, that worked on her case so that she's like Casey Anthony private investigator. But there's also a lot of, like, rumors there were edging on fact that that's how she paid for her legal defense with Jose Baez. There were definitely people who witnessed Casey Anthony running naked out of Jose's office. Yeah, I mean, certainly no shade on sex for money, but shade on perhaps murdering your child. Yeah, it's like shade on child murders.

I can't say that. Can't confirm. Shouldn't murder child. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, shame on yak-shacken with a child murderer. I don't think I would. No matter how sexy they were and how salt. pepper they were. I don't think I could.

For example, even if Mark Ruffalo had perhaps murdered his child, no yak shacking. I mean, I'd think about it long and hard. I'd think about it long and hard. You know what I'm? You know what I'm?

Come on. Oh, come on. We got there. Oh, no. Oh, Tomah. How you do. You do. You do.

Welcome to your community. Freddie. Not Jackie. Jackie. You've been here. Freddie, I do it. I don't do it. I'm going to fucking. I won't do that to Freddy.

I'm glad that you can't hear me. I'm so happy that you are back, Molly, and welcome to the world, Freddie. We are so happy that you're here and healthy. And I'm very, very happy to be back. I'm going to be the best auntie of all time. I know. I was telling her all about you guys on the way here.

I can't wait to introduce her to you when she is 16, and I will let her do the things that you are going to introduce her to. 16. 14. Actually, I think 16 is a little young. What? 13. I'm fine.

I'm good at it. I'll be good. I'll just teach her how to wheel and deal and use her body to get what she wants. That's not true. 18, 18, 18, 21, 22, it's going to be fine. Thank you guys so much for listening. Again, welcome back, Molly. Thank you, Marcus.

Welcome back. Thank you. Thank you guys so much for listening. And if you would like to, please moseon over to the Patreon page. It's patreon.com slash page 7 podcast. We really appreciate you guys listen and be a part of our beautiful community. We love you so much. And if you want to, you can follow me on Instagram at Jack That Worm, Molly.

Let's look at baby pictures. MJKL cat. It used to be 100% cats. Now it is mostly baby, sometimes still cats. And Marcus Parks for all that, all that stuff. We love you guys. Welcome back, Molly. The sausage party is over.

And now I feel attacked. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I need to offend you. I'm proud of you and I'm proud of your penis. Everyone have a one for a week. Thank you. I needed to hear that.

You're welcome. Bye. On a different day, snitches get stitches. But today, I'm snitching out the best people in the world because it's time for Patreon. Shout out. Yeah, my mouth is a trombone. I just want to say thank you guys so much

for donating to the Patreon. I love you. I can't say it enough. I know I always say I love you, but I mean it? And you know, sometimes you say I love you and you don't mean it. And I mean it right now.

Am I sad? Everything's fine. Anyway, let's kick it off. Let's kick it off. Let's kick it off. We've got today, Isabelle McCann. Jordan Lockhart

Sarah Benham Holly Hudson Good alliteration Consonance Paul Jarrett Kara G Melissa Anna Wilder

Kaylee Sumson Brianna Scott Erin Diaz Shelby Schultz Jennifer Siles Norie Amber Jones Jenny

Jenny not Jenny from Forest Gump That's good because I don't want you to bird girl, I love you the way that you are. Victoria Buford, Lauren Pearson, Nick Haleet, Stephen Hume, Quinn Reinhardt. Ooh, we got a lot of hards in here today.

I'm feeling it. I'm front hard for show. Catherine L. Patrick Swayze. A U.R. IP back from the dead. Michael B. Taylor, Alicia Walton, Ashley Richardson, Adam Pagrock, Whit James, Britt, Britt, tombs. It's like sexy horror.

Lauren Blam! Did I say it right? Tell me if I say it wrong. Hannah Mayberry. I just... And Hannah Mayberry, thank you so much. I love you guys, really. Thank you so much for donating to the Patreon. It gives me the freedom to live my life and to smile every day.

And you know what? Some days you don't smile, but some days you extra smile. And today, it's an extra smile day. and I'm feeling really good. I'm gonna go see Janelle Monet tonight and I'm very, very excited about it and everything's gonna be great and I love my vagina. And if you'd like to donate to the Patreon,

please visit patreon.com slash page seven podcast. That is seven the number. Patreon.com slash page seven podcast. G kisses and I miss you and I want to kiss you because my lips are lonely like I said in the ad earlier. I mean that.