Page 7 - Episode 262: Will Lick

Episode Date: July 5, 2018

Happy Independence Day y'all! Jackie, Molly & Marcus discuss hot dog water, the sexiest fictional presidents and celebrities with B.D.E. Visit http://FilterEasy.com or call 1-855-910-EASY (3279). Make sure you use offer code PAGE7 to get your first order free. Awesome Call, Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/ Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

It's an American holiday week, and would it be without the singing of the great star-spangled banner? And a one, and a two, and a, oh, say, can you see by the dawn's early light? I know you guys know it. You got to be better sing it. I'm kneeling. Yeah, what's so proud. I'm too high. at the twilight last gleam.

I'm Carlos Santana's wife playing the drums when they played the national anthem at the NBA playoffs game. That's who I am. I'm not kneeling. I am Carlos Santana's wife playing the drums. Hell yeah, I appreciate you. I'm kneeling whilst playing the drums.

Whose broad stripes and bright stars through the perilous fight? All the ranch were saying. It's up there. The problem is we all know I ain't no Whitney. And you know what? The key is higher than I would appreciate. But that's okay.

We're Americans. We can sing it however the fuck we want, bitch. Yeah, I'm glad that we got to do that because I think this is going to be the first year in a really long time where me and you haven't been able to sing the Star Spangled Banner together on July 4th. I am really, really sad that we are not going to be singing tomorrow together, which is why I wanted to start the podcast with this today.

It's very nice. I very much appreciated it. I'm very sad for that as well. I didn't know that was a tradition you two had. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. We sing a lot on the 4th of July. There is one thing I do.

I feel bad because I'm going out to my boy toys place. I was like, dude, I'm going to sing all day long. And I'm going to also make up a bunch of songs about America. I mean, I'm going to do a lot. It's flabbergastingly upsetting how much I love to. to sing about America. Mm-hmm. Yep, me as well. What's your T-shirt of choice?

Oh, I'm pulling out that's time to get star-spangled hammered, baby. Oh, I forgot about that one. That is the best one. Dude, it's the best one. Marcus, you're going to wear your 4th July shirt? Improve your image. Be seen with an American. It's from the 70s. I'm already starting no sleeves. I mean, it's a no sleeves week. Was it built with no sleeves or did you cut off the sleeves?

A good office. Yeah. And all of the letters are in glittery. So I think it's like a, I think it's a bicentennial t-shirt. Ooh. Yeah, every year, every single year. It's an interesting time for patriotism in the 1970s. Yeah.

Yeah, complicated. Yeah, complicated. Yeah, complicated. Yeah. Complicated. Very, very, very complicated. So we're, you know. But that's the thing is that July 4th is the day that you're supposed to set all that aside

and appreciate the deep meaning of the country and the deep meaning, and specifically the deep meaning of its people. I celebrate by just drinking beer out of cans with American flags on them. That's fine. So too do we. That's my outfit. Oh yeah, no, I talk about nothing real on the 4th of July. You know, it's like, yes, we don't get into any of this stuff. It is a rough time for our country, but I think that it is, I just love the 4th of July so much.

To the point that, like, I was scared to bring it up all. on the podcast today, but then you know what? It's my favorite holiday. Me too. Really? By far, I've been in my favorite holiday since I was a kid. Really? Like a real young kid.

Yep. Wow. I'll take Fourth of July over Christmas any day. Any day. I'll even take Fourth of July over Halloween. Really? Mm-hmm. Because you like the bang-bangs?

I love the bang-bangs. I love the drinking. I love the barbecue. I love how everybody seems like a little bit happier. And, you know, in times when we're kind of going through like a, a rough, rough period that everybody kind of feels a little good. Yeah.

Yeah. And it's a good, like, right in the middle of the summer, slash the beginning of the summer, slash, yeah, depending on when school gets out. But, like,

it's that, like, everyone is just, like, in it. You know, no one's thinking about anything else but the fact that it's summer.

Yeah. Exactly. It's the one day we're all guaranteed. Actually, no, I take that back. I'm going to be working most of the day tomorrow. But the night time is mine.

Yeah, one time I was working a job that I have, I didn't, I was a nanny and I didn't get any like, you know, federal holidays off or bank holidays or whatever. And Fourth of July fell on a Saturday. And I was furious because I was off, but I didn't get like a day off. Oh, yeah. I've worked every Fourth of July, I think, for the past 10 years.

And this is my first time not working on the Fourth of July. And it's different because, but at the same time, nothing happens during the day. Like, all you're missing is like the pre-drinking and the pre-set up. It's like, I do that today. That's, you know, that's, I've figured it out. Yeah. But it is weird to not have to work on the Fourth of July. It's like, how do I share all of my, my dumb American patriotism?

Yeah, exactly. Now, Fourth of July during the day, like, that's for your, like, those are your friends that are going to start drinking way too early. Yeah. And are going to be fucking trashed by the time the fireworks come. And then they're in bed by 10.30. Yeah. I will say it's my first time in years not being able to see the Macy's Day fireworks. New York, though. That makes me really sad. Well, I think they're on the Jersey side this year.

So maybe next year you can come on over when it's on the East River. All right. I'm into that. Yeah, I never see him because they're always over on the Hudson. And I always get real cranky, but Michael Bloomberg would always put him on the Hudson. And I felt like it was a little bit of a middle finger to Brooklyn. De Blasio brought it back because he's a Brooklyn guy. And that is the only thing that he's done that's good. But how great are those fireworks? Oh, my God. I think I cry every year when I watch them because they would be right over our apartment building, too. So they were just right there.

It was insane. Yeah, it was definitely the best place to watch the fireworks. I went on a long rampage about how I was complaining because there are no fireworks in California. You can't find them. You can't get them. Or at least in the L.A. area. But then it's like, oh, it's because it'll burn the whole state down. I guess I understand.

It's definitely. It's an issue. It's definitely an issue. Here it's just a city you have to worry about burning down. Yeah, but we got a real good fireman. That's true. Yeah, you do. Oh, I just want to bite that big apple.

I'll tell you wouldn't. Between that and the World's Cup, I've been talking to Madeline out in Brooklyn. She's like, everyone's been blown off fireworks for at least two weeks at this point. So, you know, it's old hat. Now I'm just scared when I walk down the street. I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

But, you know, it's fun. I love the fear of fireworks, though. Yeah, I almost blew my face off when I was a kid. I was real lucky, but still love him so much. See, I was more of like a snakes girl. Snakes are fun. Wait, what are snakes? Sparklers were a little spicy for me.

You know, snakes, the little ones you light them, and then it, like, very slowly grows into like a little one-and-a-half-inch ass. Snake. Yeah, it looks like if you took a piece of shit and it grew on its own accord, that's what it looks like. Ah, but can't you just do that with a rope? Isn't that like burning a rope? It's like a, you know those dinosaurs you would put in water and they would grow? Yeah.

Kind of made me horny. Well, those snakes will definitely make you horny, except it's like a tiny, tiny, tiny weiner. I mean, I'm down. A wieners, a wiener's a wiener. Lear to leaner. That's very true. Which is why I'm very excited about all of the hot dogs I'm going to consume tomorrow. I'm going to eat at least four.

Ambitious. Yeah, I think I can do it. The problem is once you get to the third one, you just got to start going no bun. I just want to just slide it down, especially on the grill when they're all, ooh. Oh, you're going to gull at a dog? I could totally gull at a dog. I'm a pelican the fuck out of that for America. I mean, it's just like we used to feed the eagra.

in our backyard hot dogs and that was problematic. I don't think you're supposed to feed Big Storks hot dogs. That's some real Florida shit right there. I love Florida. That's fine, though. I did find this story that I was very intrigued by on Us Weekly, which I don't know why it was in Us Weekly.

And the article is, what is hot dog water and why are people spending so much money on it? Oh. Immediately intrigued. because it was just like, wait, can I do something with hot dog water? Because like, I'll suck it down, dude, real hard. Do they mean the water that's in the street stands where the hot dogs roll in? I think boiled hot, yeah, where the hot dogs get boiled.

Yeah. Right? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Baby. They were selling it in Vancouver for Car Free Day Festival. And it was called Hot Dog Water. They were selling it for $38 Canadian dollars, which is like $28 American dollars.

and they said that it had health benefits such as the ability to help you lose weight, improve your brain function, and look younger. Wrong. The protein of the hot dog water helps your body uptake the water content and the sodium and all the things you'd need post-workout.

And it also had hot dogs in the water. Oh. Let me ask you, did you read the whole article? I did. I was just about to... I did, I did, I did read the whole article. The first time I read it, I did not read the whole article. whole article and I got very, very excited to the point that I almost boiled hot dogs and drank it. But this is, I'm the problem. I'm the fucking problem with the hot dog water. Marcus, did you

read the rest of it? Yes, I read the rest of it. It was a joke. Is it a goof? It's a goof. It's a goof. It's a goop. It's a goop-goof, actually. It's a goop-goof. Yeah, it's a goop-goof where it's making fun of all of these products that tell you all sorts of bullshit about like what health benefits you get from stupid things. They put small print on the bottom that says hot dog water in its absurdity hopes to encourage critical thinking related to product marketing and the significant role that can play in our purchasing choices. Well, that note's a little bit condescending.

It's very condescending. That's why I read it like that. Fuck off hot dog water pranksters. I believed you. Hot dog water in its absurdity. Oh, God. It's just like, get over yourself, but also I would have tried it, yes. But it's too expensive. I would have done it at home. I would have done at home hot dog water. The reason I don't like that joke is because the target of the joke should be goop, not the people who like Goop.

People who like Goop might be totally insufferable, but they're not the ones with the power. Goop's got the power. We've got a disenfranchised goop. Yeah, if you could convince Goop to buy your hot dog water and sell your hot dog water. Yes, that's the joke. That's where it is, exactly. But they sold over 60 liters of hot dog water. I mean, I don't know what that is in American sizes, but, you know. It says many were pleased to learn he was actually calling out the health industry

as opposed to marketing something so ridiculous. That's a problem, though. See, they threw the Vancouver on it. For us, we'd be like, oh, dog, yeah, you eat a hot dog. Isn't that crazy? Isn't that crazy? Because that's how we act in America. Yeah, that's right.

That's right. Have you guys watched your yearly watching of Independence Day yet? Not yet. We're planning on it late tonight. Hell yeah. Molly, you got to get on board. You got to do it. You guys have a lot of traditions that I did not know that I had to keep up on.

Well, that's because last year I think we recorded on like the second. So you can't really start talking to the traditions until the third. That's true. Oh, yeah. We're getting hot on it. And then I found this list of movies that you were supposed to watch to prepare yourself for the 4th of July. I don't agree with every single thing on the list. I think some of them are little weird.

I think they missed out in a lot. But this is Times official list of what you're supposed to watch for Independence Day. Well, if I may ask, who's on the list? Oh, uh-huh. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. We're doing a DL of it, huh? No, we're going to have another list, I swear.

This is pre-list. It's like a pre-com. Can't get you pregnant, but let's look at it. But I'll still swallow it. Of course, we got Independence Day on the list, which I rewatch. You know what? It's two and a half hours of just pure fun. Yeah.

Everyone should really, I mean, watch it again. It's always great. Bill Pullman is the sexiest president, which also is a controversial. stance. Who is your sexiest president? Ooh. I went more of a Michael Douglas from the American president because I think he's sexy as fuck. And he's also not on this list which upsets me.

I mean, I can give you a couple of fictional presidents. Like, how's about Harrison Ford and Air Force One? See, that is a great one. Yeah, I'll take Harrison Ford. Who's the president in a fucking West Wing? Is it that's Martin Sheen? Yeah, Michael Douglas and the American president, Kevin Klein and Dave. Oh my God, I forgot about Kevin Klein. Oh, my God.

Kevin Klein is my president. He is, oh, I would bang him over that oval table, oval office. What are they got in there? They got fake doors. Whatever it is, I want to fuck him in that room. I do love. Dave is among my favorite movies.

Yeah, I think I might take Kevin Klein. It makes me feel real good. Yeah. If you don't want to go Independence Day, you should watch Dave again. Okay. I watched it a few months. ago. It makes you feel real good. I like Independence Day, but I don't think I've seen it since it was in the theaters, which is embarrassing because I know it's a fate. Jesus Christo. I got nothing against it.

It just hasn't come up. Dude, you should definitely give it a watch because it is just sexy. I want to sleep with almost every single man in that movie, including Judd Hirsch. Throwing it out there, including Judd Hirsch. I'll take them all. I remember Darren, like, I was in a really deep, dark depression like way back when like many many years ago and I watched Independence Day every day sometimes multiple times a day for like a couple weeks because it was the only thing that would make me feel something that's good good self-therapy hell yeah it is I'm proud like it worked I mean it got me through yeah it definitely got me through I'm proud of you and also it's like I mean Vivica A Fox how do you compete if all strippers look like that it's just like yeah

Please sign me up, man. They don't. I know they don't. But you know what? Good on them. I say, good for you. You fucking do you. If I could make money doing it, I definitely would.

I don't have the body for it. I could work at personalities in Palm Harbor, Florida, though. She's got a great personality. Wait until she gets off the stage. But, man, Will Smith is so hot in that movie, and he's just, like, great at being. a daddy too? Pretty good. Well, he's stepdaddy. He's step daddy.

And a great stepdaddy is, I'm going to go ahead and throw it out there almost, I think it's even sexier than a great daddy daddy daddy. I think stepdaddy is definitely sexier because of the not actual daddy component, no? Uh, yeah. Because you don't have to be

that sexy and that great of a daddy. I mean, we would all like you to be, but when you can just step into that, ooh, oh! And he takes care of his family. And he's just like, he's got to go. But also, he's taking the family with him. But also Bill Pullman in that movie, Amazing, Daddy.

Real good dad. Like to have that dad. I would love to have that dad. All right, number two on the list, coming to America. Which is a fantastic movie. Always a fantastic movie. Yeah, that's a good July 4th movie. I support that list.

Hell yeah. Number three, the Patriot, which I feel is now problematic because of Mel Gibson. But also, you know what? still a fun movie. Yeah, I haven't seen the Patriot since the theaters. I'm pretty sure there are sexy sons, like there's sexy sons in that movie, right? Isn't, is Heath Ledger in that one? Or was he like a revolutionary war hero in another movie? Or am I thinking of a knight's tale? I think, no, you know, he is, oh no, this is Heath Ledger. A Knight's Tale. You know, Heath Ledger is in this one as well as Mel Gibson. Yeah. But he is sexy in both a Knight's Tale and the

Patriot for sure. Right, right. I think, are we allowed to like Mel Gibson movies before we knew exactly how bad he was? We're allowed to like Mad Max and that's it. That's it. Yeah, because we don't really know, and lethal weapon. Uh-huh. Yeah, yeah.

We don't really know the cutoff point, but we're pretty certain that he was still okay back then. But what about what women want? We don't have to give up what women want, do we? Please, Marcus, no. Don't take that away from me. Depends on if you can separate the art from the artist. That is another movie I saw in the theater.

I mean, what's wrong with me? Now that movie is, I feel like that movie is problematic for many different reasons, though. You know, it's just like, these are women, they only want one thing. That could be a whole new list. All the reasons that what women want are problematic. Get out of my brain, Mel Gibson. and he would probably be right. It's usually sex.

Yeah, what a creepy. Actually, now the more I think about it, that is definitely, that is one of the one that's not going to hold up in the era of not stalking women, getting into their brains and reading their thoughts. Not good. Wow, I had not thought about the part of that movie since I saw it.

Yeah, I mean, I don't know, maybe Helen Hunt said yes to it, so maybe it's not as bad as we think it is. Helen Hunt also said yes to pay it forward, and we know how bad that was. Is it? I never saw it. Not, like, politically bad.

Just not a good movie. It is not a good movie. Remember, I saw it twice in the theater. I've seen it way too many times. I know that we just recently discussed it because of Bon Jovi, but... Because of Bon Jovi. It's not a good movie. No.

No. But I don't think that it's like a bad... It's not like a, oh, a movie. It's just like a why movie. Yeah, I mean, it's boring as fuck as well. And it was when it was unclear that Haley Joel Osmond just wasn't the person. to put all your money on, you know? Man, they really wanted to, though.

I did recently rewatch a sixth sense, and you know what? Great rewatch. I would watch that movie right now. I was looking up the plot synopsis for what women want. Do you remember how he got his powers? It's probably something that has to do with tampons or something? No, well, no, no. He was taking a bath, testing out women's products, because remember he's an ad executive, a chauvinist.

and a hairdryer falls in and electrocutes him. And then when he wakes up, he can read women's thoughts. I wish it had been like an electrified tampon for some reason. Can I shove this up my ass? Yes, I can. You put a tampon in his ass, and then he got superpowers. And then he could just read all of their thoughts. Well, he realized that most women find him repulsive,

and so he goes to his therapist and says, like, hey, what do I do here? and he finds out that even she dislikes him. And then she tells it like, use it to your advantage. And so he eavesdrops on, he sabotages Helen Hunt's career. Hmm. He doesn't learn his lesson until later. Yeah. I mean, just like in Phenomenon, which Henry and I did watch this weekend, by the way.

Speaking of weird ways of which you get powers and done of it, any sense. It's great. It's everything you wanted. Spoiler alert. He had a brain tumor. I just can't. And Forrest Whitaker, what are you doing? I know everybody needs a paycheck.

I get it. I would do it as well. But I think that was before he was Forrest Whitaker, though. Yeah. Yeah, but this is the thing. I don't think that we can, I mean, right. I'm not going to judge any actor for what they say yes to unless it is a Mel Gibson movie like after Passion of the Christ.

But I don't think that we can assume that a movie is. is maybe okay based on who said yes to it, right? Because the 90s was just a terrible time from very popular movies. I mean, not to bring it up again, but, you know, like, I'm not going to hold milk money against Ed Harris. Like, I still love Ed Harris. Milk money is a fantastic movie. Thank you very much.

Millie Griffith is, like, smoking hot, like, beginning to end. But, I mean, plot-wise, not great. I guess, all right, okay, I'll give you that one. She is smoking, though. Good, Lord. Yeah, then jean shorts. You remember them jean shorts? When she's wearing that another problematic outfit of Native Americans.

Remember she had that weird, like, costume, like, Pocahontas outfit on that was just, like, slutty Pocahontas? Yeah. Why was she wearing that for most of the movie? Very interesting. Very interesting indeed, yes, yes. I always associate Ed Harris with stepmom, which is really embarrassing. Oh, stepmom. So good, though. That movie I have seen an astounding amount of times, because it was always on television, and I would always watch it.

It's great. And then you know what? I cry every time. I also rewatch the notebook this weekend, which I have not seen since high school. I sobbed through the last 12 minutes of the movie. Like, like, disgustingly sobbed. Still, still gets you. That doesn't surprise me. It, man, James Garner in it is fantastic. It's great. Rewatch it. I'll feel like I'll take that Ryan Gosling, too, before he was so big for his britches. Oh, yeah.

He's sexy as hell. But then again, at the same time, it's Rachel McAdams choosing between Ryan Gosling and hot, rich James Marsden, who's a really good person. And spoiler alert, she goes for the, like, the poor artist. and I guess that's great. But like James Marsden is old school Southern money, X war person. And how do you leave that? He loves her. Nothing.

I know. I feel the same way. I kind of got stuck on war person. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What is it called? Veteran. Veteran, yes. Sorry, war person.

I was upset. I was just upset about James Marsden. I know the person. word veteran. Number four on the list, National Treasure. Wait, what's National Treasure? Nick Cage. Oh. Dude, Marcus, have you seen the new trailer for the movie Mandy with Nick Cage in it? No, but I very much want to. Oh my God, Marcus. This movie looks fantastic. I've seen the trailer probably five or six times. It's an action horror movie, star,

Nick Cage that's coming out a little later on this year, and it looks good as fuck. Ooh. Oh, that's got a 97% on the old Rotten Tomato. Which, you know, I have my problems with Rotten Tomato, but I will leave it for this. Yeah. Clifford. Clifford, 8%. Give me a fucking break. Meanwhile, all the other movies are all in the 20%.

Even the bad movies are like 28 or 29%. Sherlock Gnomes has a 28% on rotten tomatoes. Go fuck yourself rotten tomatoes, but this is not the hill I'm going to die on. That is true, Clifford. Oh, wait, Clifford's up to 9% now. Whoa. Am I making my magic happen?

Yeah, Clifford, where Martin Short plays a little boy, and he has to stay with his uncle, played by Charles Groden, who is dating Mary Steenberg. And all Clifford wants to do is go to Dinosaur World with his pet dinosaur Stefan, which is a little plastic. It's a little plastic dinosaur. And oh, does he cause trouble for Charles Groton? You know, I'll watch Charles Groton in anything, though. He's great in it.

He spends the entire time mad, but. That's why he's perfect in it. I've seen Clifford already, I think, since January, I think I've seen it four times. And I know it's not going to be the last time I see it. I do think one of the, for me, one of the funniest moments in any movie that I've ever seen is when he asked Clifford to act normal. Oh my God. Oh my God. I still do that all the time. I was just like, can you be a normal boy? And then you watch this is just like a barrage of emotions on Martin Schwarz's face as he's trying to look normal in some capacity. And he just, he can't be normal. And it's just all this. Every face. he makes is it's pure comedic gold. And remember, it's Clifford, it's Martin Short in his 40s playing a nine-year-old boy.

Yeah, I feel like I actually am very, very sold. You had me at Martin Short and Charles Groton. Yeah, yeah, I'm pretty sure Martin Short was definitely at least in his 40s playing, excuse me, not a 10-year-old, a 9-year-old. But also he's in his 70s, I believe now. And I watched that Steve Martin, Martin Short. Netflix special that they put out, man, Martin Short has still got the fucking moves. He's limber as hell.

He's in his 70s? I believe so. Holy cow. He definitely looks old. And Steve Martin just, I mean, you can't. Steve Martin is still Steve Martin, but like, I mean, you can't compete with Martin Short. He's just so funny. He was 44.

Whoa, he was 44 in Clifford? Yeah. Damn, man. This is like a sister film to the movie Jack. Actually, I think they came out the same year. I think they might. I think it was one of those, you know, when two movies like Armageddon and Deep Impact come out and ants. A Bugs Life.

Yeah, they come at the same time. I think it was Clifford and Jack. I think Jack was coming out. And so someone else greenlit Clifford. I have cried at Jack several times. Jack is really sad. Yeah. Yeah, it's awfully sad.

I mean, it's a Francis Ford Coppola movie. Wait, really? Francis Ford Copeland directed that movie. Really? Is it actually good? No. No, no, definitely not. No, no, it's a terrible movie.

There is an actual disease where you age really fast, but it's not, you don't turn into a 45-year-old man. They don't look like that. Prageria is a very serious disease, and they tend to die by, I think, like, like, there are a lot of people with Pergeria are lucky to live past, like, like, 13 or 14. But I'll tell you, Mori got a lot of shows built based on Jack's success. The real life Jack disease, you know.

Oh, man, if you want to watch a really sad documentary on Progeria, it's on HBO, it's called Life According to Sam. Henry and I watched that sometime, and we both just sobbed through the entire documentary, just like unabashedly. It's very sad. I mean, I guess, but it's like Jack didn't encapsulation. this horrible disease.

You're going to hate this, Jackie. Jack has twice, more than twice, the Rotten Tomatoes rating that Clifford has. It's at 19%. Still quite low. It's a broken system that needs to be fixed. And I don't know how to fix it. There's got to be, we got to start going back

and re-reviewing these movies because that's a problem. Is it like, it's better, because there's all these reviews. I'm not going to. I got to stop getting mad about rotten tomatoes. I mean, just so we're, I mean, we're on the subject now of rotten tomatoes, and I had to check it out. We have lowered the score of nothing but trouble even more.

It's now at 5%. Uh-oh. What? How? How did it go down? How did it go down? It's like an active sabotage? Listeners?

I think. I mean, the audience score is 44%. So I don't know which critics have been adding the reviews of nothing but trouble because that's the only way that he's going to keep going down. Somebody was really offended by Jackie's campaign. Hurts my brain. Dan Aykroyd is a dynamo in that movie. He wrote it.

He directed it. He's in two different roles. Give me a break. There's been two new reviews of nothing but trouble. this year by the Orlando Sentinel in the Los Angeles Times. What? Why? Why?

Maybe they were just like putting up all the archived reviews. I mean, that is the only possible explanation. It's the only possible explanation because there's no way. Unless Jackie kicked the hornet nest, you know? Somebody was like, you know, I need to really go correct the record here. I apologize to you haters out there. I think that it's like, I'm just trying, you know what, I'm just trying to inspire positivity. Is that too much to ask on this our week of Independence Day?

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Sign up today at FilterEasy.com to get your first order free. That's FilterEasy.com or call 1-855-910-Easy. 3279 That's a good number Make sure you use all for code Pate 7 Oh and speaking of a classic American movie Oh don't tell me this Okay 50% at least

Because I saw someone said worst reviewed movies And it was just that critic that gave the burbs One out of five stars Oh give me a break They got sticks up they asses It's like unsticked they asses And have a smile for a second Yeah, and the burbs is full of smiles.

Have you seen the burbs, Molly? No, but I actually really want to watch the burbs. The burbs is, it's fantastic. Looks like a lot of fun. Yeah, as a family woman now, I think you'll enjoy it. And it may keep you from moving to the suburbs. I have to only watch family films from now on. Well, I mean, it's not a family film.

It's a film about family. Family, yeah. Yeah, except they don't have a kid, so it doesn't really work. That's family. Just because you don't have a kid doesn't mean you don't have any family. Of course, of course. I'm just saying what Molly can relate to now. Yes, yeah, only baby things.

Although maybe you should watch the Incredibles too because it's fantastic. I started watching the original Incredibles because I had not seen it, and it is delightful. It is a delightful movie, yes. All right, slamming through this list. We got Bush Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. You know what?

Never seen it. I've never seen it either. I was afraid to admit it. I've never seen the whole thing. Interesting. Maybe we have some homework to do. I'm ashamed for saying that I've never seen it. I just don't, I never really get into westerns.

Same. Yeah, westerns are, they can be tough. I think they're boring. Especially older westerns. Older westerns can be real tough because there's a lot of establishing shots. So many establishing shots. Yeah. So many establishing shots.

Yeah. So slow. A lot of shots of guys riding horses. Yeah. I mean, that's sexy. I'm into that. I think Jackie might actually like it. As long as they keep their lips shut.

I just go. but at the same time if I'm going to watch bitches on horses I'm going to watch Legends of the Fall we all know this Yes we do We all know your preferred horse movie

God just man Brad Pick can ride a horse He's just terrible now Which is awful because of the whole custody battle Between him and Angelina Jolie But at the same time Just think about him on a horse Anyway inside Chipotle is on this list

It says And this is on Time Magazine's website says the Chipotle franchise is one of the best things America has ever created. Might as well learn a little something about it. Excuse me? That's on the Fourth of July list? Yeah. No, I would never watch that, especially not on the Fourth of July. Also, I don't care about Chipotle.

Chipotle gives me the bad tummy butts. Yeah, no, I'm afraid to go, although I do love Chipotle. It's another thing I'm slightly afraid to admit. I'm down. Yeah, I'm not against it as a company, but I also just, like, don't really care, you know? Don't care to learn about it. Absolutely not. Absolutely not.

I don't need your capitalism in my 4th of July. My 4th of July, unlike Team America, World Police, which should be on this list. Yeah, that should be at the top of the list after Independence Day. 100% in agreement. We got Greece. I don't think I like it. Oh, I love it. It's so fun.

Watch American graffiti. if you're in that mood. Okay. Ooh, yeah, that's much better. Which, also speaking of, Forrest Gump. Forrest Gump belongs on the list. It's a great American movie. It very much is, yeah.

Because it shows America warts and all. Hell yeah, it does. And we've also got Rudy. What an interesting list. Yeah. I'm down, it's like I always wanted to bang the fuck out of Sean Aston. But I really don't think I ever got too into Rudy. Yeah, I didn't really get it.

It's weird. Like the Rudy and. Coming to America, those two, like, they're good American movies, but they're both, like, one's in the fall and one's in the winter. Fourth of July movie's got to be summertime. At least a couple of scenes in the summertime. Has to be. Yeah, and in Forrest Gump, most of the scenes are in hot places.

I don't remember one scene in Forrest Gump with snow in it. You're right. That's why I like Greece, because it's, you know, the calendar year ends in summer. Summer 11. I'm just sad because it's like Top Guns Not on this list. That's a movie I want. I want Patton on this list. That's a great movie for the Fourth of July.

Hell, you know what? I'll take a sandlot. I'm even into that for the Fourth of July. Where are all the Rocky movies? Where I want that on the Fourth of July? This list is very flawed. You want a real like Norm Corps list, like the most, like militarism and baseball. Yeah.

Right? I mean, that's what the Fourth of July is for. Fourth of July is a little, it's supposed to be a little bit cheesy. It's a Norm Corps holiday. Oh, yeah, yeah. You can't be like, you can't be cool on the Fourth of July. Yeah, that's very true. You got to wear your American flag bandanas and your cutoffs.

Yeah, you just be whatever. You got to lean into it. Yeah, it's not a holiday for irony. That's very true. No, but I think a holiday for irony is definitely what we started yesterday, while Molly and I started watching pretty little liars yesterday. I'm in love. I am so in love.

How did I not do this for so many years? We have started a new show right now called Jag Little PLL for Pretty Little Liars on our Patreon. So please pop on over to patreon.com slash page 7 podcast if you would like to listen to us because we're doing like a mystery science theater watching of Pretty Little Liars. It is on Netflix. And I got to say, Marcus, I think you might like it. I think you might like it. You think so. I think you might like it.

All right. I'll give it a shot. I mean, I will say that it has none of the artfulness of Riverdale. It has the spiciness of Riverdale, but none of the, I mean, Riverdale is legit, like, it has, it's a little weird. It's weird, which is what I like about Riverdale. Yeah. You know, some of the actors are real weirdos. This is like a little polished.

It's a little bit, I mean, it's definitely like a USA network show. Does everything makes sense? No. No. Great. Okay. All right. Definitely not.

No. No. And I'm having a very hard time telling apart the characters because they all. look the exact same. Perfect. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's all very sexy and it's all like, I mean, it is, it's a lot of fun, the kind of thing where it's like, no, they're not going to do that, and then they do it. Yeah. All right, I'll get into it after I finish my rewatching of all the Harry Potter movies.

Interesting. Why are you doing that? We got some ads coming up. Oh, hell yeah. Hell yeah. You know, you got to do what you got to do. Oh, yeah. And then, and Carolina had never seen them before. So we're like, yeah, let's watch all of them. And she had watched the first couple, and she's like, okay, and then got to the third one. And the third one is when it takes up. They stop being kids movies because Chris Columbus is no longer directing them.

Yes, I actually haven't seen. And they start being like, Y-A movies. I haven't seen most of them. And I haven't read the books, and it's like my great shame because I love children's books, and everyone's like, you would love them. But I don't like fantasy. But the way you make that noise when you say fantasy, that dismayes me.

I don't like it. I'm a huge fantasy nerd. It's too magical for me. Yes, yes, that's what makes it wonderful. There's no rules. It is what makes it wonderful. And you know I also am not big into fantasy stuff, but I love Harry Potter.

You know I love Harry Potter. Okay, yeah, all right, that's fair. A lot of people have told me, even if you don't like fantasy, you will like Harry Potter. Yeah. Well, the thing is about good fantasy, is a good fantasy has its own rules.

Its own set of rules. Yeah. Every different fantasy has its own set of rules. Yeah. It makes me sad because Henry was telling me that there's a lot of blind eye. out right now about Daniel Radcliffe pulling his dick out. Hmm.

Yeah, I guess, you know, I mean, also, like, he's shot into superstardom by becoming Harry Potter. Yeah, at like 10. Yeah. Yeah, maybe it's like Justin Bieber Cindermore. I have, you know, as people on the show know, I have a hard time getting that mad at Justin Bieber because we took him as a child. We ruined him. And then we said, we hate who you are, you know.

Yeah. Yeah. It's a terrible thing we do to our, to our child. I mean, the Stranger Things kids are pretty much fucked. Yeah, I'm worried. At least a couple of them. Yeah, Millie Bobby Brown. Millie Bobby Brown is going to be, maybe, you know what, maybe she'll be a Drew Barry more.

She might be, I mean, she is very open about, like, it's like she got off a lot of social media for a while because she was being bullied too much, but, you know, you heard me yelling about when she was kissing on her 13-year-old boyfriend that, you know, it's just too much spotlight. It's too much out there, but I think that a lot of kids have that now, but that's all, you know, that's my own thing. That's true. A lot of 13 year olds are putting their kiss and picks on Instagram. They're kissing picks. Not just the famous

ones. The kissing picks. But 13 year olds should be kissing each other. I got no problem with that. It's just whether or not it should be online. That's bad. That's not good. I'm clutching my pearls over here. But also speaking of the stranger kids things, they did release the cast for all of the adults for the second part of it. Oh, they did. Yeah, they did. I'm into, there's a few of the dudes I had to look up,

but it's Jessica Chastain is playing Beverly Marsh, which is perfect, absolutely perfect. I mean, Bill Hader's playing Richie, which also perfect because I've been watching Barry. Have I brought this up on year yet? I've been watching Barry as well. It's a lot of fun. I've been really digging it. Yeah, it's fun. It's a lot. I liked it a lot better than I thought I was going to like it. Yes, me as well. I mean, what is it? Henry Winkler is a joy. He's perfect.

He's absolutely perfect. Yeah, he's an acting coach in Los Angeles. Oh, yeah, I would watch that. Yeah, yeah, he's absolutely perfect. I'll watch him in anything. And Bill Hader is fucking great in it, too. There's just some supporting characters that kind of get on your nerves a little bit. Yeah, I've been curious about that show because it looks, it does look good.

We also have James McAvoy playing Bill, which I'm definitely into because I rewatch split recently because they've got the second part of the sequel to splits coming out soon. Man James McAvoy got hopped dude. Show me. All right, you'll look at the picture. You know what? I had to look it up because, you know, we talk

about daddies a lot and I think that, well, I think he might have kids. But did you guys know, I had to look up what a zaddy was and I think James McVoy might be a zaddy. He's pretty cute. What's a zaddy? It's essentially a daddy that doesn't have kids.

Interesting. That you can be at any age and be a Zaddy. Is it a middle-aged man? Oh, any age. Yeah, I think it's mostly like anything like in the 20s and above. Then then you could be a daddy. I don't know. I think that at that point, Daddy has lost its signifier, you know?

I mean, what is a daddy if not an older person who either does or does not have kids? But if they can be any age and not have kids, then what's a daddy? Whoa. What is a daddy, Molly? What is a daddy? What is a daddy? No, you're right. I understand.

I mean, I just want to sleep with anyone that's got, you know, a silver fox hair. I'm down. Understandable. I think it's awesome that they got James Ransone to play Eddie. That's James Ransone. He played Ziggy in The Wire. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you know, season two?

Hell yeah. Yeah, he played Ziggy. Yeah, and he is amazing in that show. But I never saw him in, like, anything else. Yeah, I've never seen him anything else either. Yeah, I mean, it sounds like like he burns bridges during, I read Inside the Wire. It's called All the Pieces Matter. It's like an oral history of the wire. You'd love it. I would love that. But yeah, he seems, seems like he shoots off his mouth a bit. Uh-huh. And so maybe it took him a little while to get

back into the whole Hollywood machine. Uh-huh. I felt bad because I had to look up who Isaiah Mustafa was who's playing Mike and good gravy in heaven. This man, I want. I would just lick all the beads of sweat off of any crevasse that he had, even in the insides of his ears. If I had to get into the middle of his arms, you know, like, upward, it's like it shouldn't be flabby, but it's like a little bit flabby

if you're a little too relaxed. We're sitting in a pretty hot room right now, so what you're saying is really evocative. Yeah, baby. Oh, okay, but yes, I agree with you. I would do the same. I take it back. Right?

Keep going on. Good Lord. He plays like the, like, you wish your man smelled like this, like the old spice guy. But apparently he was an NFL player as well. He's been in a lot of other things, but he was an NFL player. Now he's the old spice guy. And that's what I knew him from. And I was just like, hachi-machi.

Yeah, will lick. Yeah, will lick. I don't know. I'm excited for the new It. I think it's going to be great. It Chapter 2. And it's definitely the most boring. side of the second VHS tape

an it, but I'm looking forward to it. Yeah, I'm looking forward to it as well. I'm also looking forward to it as well. I'm also looking forward to the list. What? Who's on the list? Marcus, got to have that list. Man, I didn't even talk about another wheelchair

dog. Her name is Happy Wendy. Look her up on Instagram. Well, so I'm running a little low on lists. It's been a lot of years of list. It's been a lot of years of list. lists are becoming increasingly hard to find. So this week,

celebrities whose names start with A. You know, we can do 24 more lists out of this. We can make our own list. Do you want to make our own list? These could take it. I don't know, this tack could take us through the end of the year. You mean make our own list of celebrities who's names start with A? Well, I was thinking of making our own list of celebrities that have big dick energy.

That's a good list. Sure. Who's on your list? Who's on your list? Wow. Got to have my list, right? Well, I don't know if you guys have heard about the whole thing about big dick energy, right? And it's like Ariana Grande tweeted about Pete Davidson's dick.

He's got a huge dick. And then like the internet went wild with like this idea of big dick energy. It is a disgusting time we're living in. It is a disgusting time we are living in. Who's got that big dick energy? See, I don't think that Pete Davidson does have that big dick energy because he seems to come off as an asshole, but that's just me. Also, you have to remember, is Ariana Grande is, what, 411?

Yeah, so you're saying all dicks are big, if you're 411. I'm saying if you're 411, your perspective is skewed. Yeah, I think that you are correct in that. But that's why I'm making my own big dick. I think that movie's super small on me where she's like a Lego size. I don't know. I would say

there's a difference. Perhaps. Even a big, a tall guy though with a smaller dick, you see it, you know? You definitely see it, but that's the thing. Like a taller guy. We've actually been having this debate

in the live show, the last podcast on the left live show, is that if you took like Henry's dick and put it on a Pomeranian, you're like that Pomeran. That's a big dick. Yeah, he says that, you're going to say that that Pomeranian has a huge cot. It's a well-hung Pomeranian.

Yeah, yeah. So it is definitely, it is definitely a spectrum. Uh-huh. But if you took Henry's dick and put it on like Arnold Schwarzenegger, it would be a different. Yeah, or say Andre the Giant. Uh-huh. Yeah. Uh-huh.

It's going to be different. Uh-huh. And so that ladies would, it would follow, reason to follow, that a larger woman has a larger canal. I don't think that that is true. I don't know. I don't think, well, are vagina size as uniform among, like, would say, like a 4-11 woman have the exact same size vagina as, say, a 6-foot-6 woman? I don't think so, because I think it's all about your structure. I think that it's a, I mean, I don't know, but I, first of all, absolutely don't know.

Please, woman, give me your vagina knowledge. I think that it's a range, but I don't think. think that they're proportional to your height. I mean, that would be like dicks being proportional to your foot size, which is only an urban legend, as I've heard. Yeah, I mean, it is an urban legend. Because dicks aren't proportional to your height, so why would vaginas be proportional to your height?

Interesting. This is the only good point I've been able to come up with so far. I'm into it, though. You're right. But, however, penises and vaginas are not the same. True. Born out of the same cells. Very astute.

In the fetus, but not the same. Why is it when you type in our vaginas that, like, A-R-E-R-Viginas, the auto fill is acidic? You know, I think it's because of the pH balances, right? Don't we have that or something? It's a question that probably many a woman has asked herself. Okay. If I'm short, is my vagina short too?

Let's see. I mean, I guess, is it T-M-I? I know I got a short vagina. I got tight. It's high and tight. also short. There we go. It is, it's different for every person.

Just like these. Aw. Guys. We all learned something to do. You all have your own unique vagina. I like that. There's no two vaginas that are like. I like being unique.

I know you do. That's the sound. My vagina makes especially when I'm having sex. It goes, yes, please. More please. And I'm like, shush, shush, shush. And it comes like, like a beak comes out. And it gets weird.

I think Bruce Springsteen has big dick energy. Absolutely. So is big dick energy, is that something, like you don't necessarily have to have a big dick? Is it more like an attitude? It's an attitude. It's a vibe. That's a good question. That's why I don't think that Pete Davidson does because you're not supposed to be arrogant.

Yes, if you're arrogant, you're compensating for something. Yeah. So it goes. I'm not sure, though, because sometimes there's different kinds of arrogance because a big dick can sometimes. give you a lot of arrogance. Yeah, it can sometimes make you feel like more of a man than you actually are. Uh-huh. Yep, that makes sense.

Oh, yeah. That's why, I mean, I think Idris Elba also is Big Dick Energy. I was going to say, when I think Big Dick Energy, the first person who comes to mind is Idis Elba. Yeah. But I think Bruce Springsteen is another great example. But I would say his actual penis, I would guess average, but slightly above. Bruce Springsteen?

Bruce Springsteen. Yeah. I'll bet it's great, but normal. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good shape. Oh, yeah. And, I mean, I'm sure that he knows the thrustos, you know? Mm-hmm.

Because, like, you want to put, like, John Hamm on this list, but you can't because you know he actually just has a huge cock, and he also seems like he comes off as an asshole. Yeah, unfortunately. Let me ask you this. Billy Joel. Hmm. I think, again, too much of an asshole. Hmm. Because he really, but I'm sure, do you think, I imagine he probably does have a good, I imagine he's well hung though.

Do you think there's a correlation between like long ballads and big dick? That would make meatloaf a just absolute honker. Oh, you know who's got some real big dick energy is Freddie Mercury. Oh, yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. I think it might actually be a thing about long ballads. I'll bet meatloaf has a. a big dick. You know, I'd actually, if I were to rank like Big Dick Energy, I'd put Freddie Mercury

number one. Definitely. I think you're right. Yes. No question. Mm-hmm. That and also, yeah, I think there's a lot of, because it's all about the, it's all about confidence and not pushing people away. Yeah. It's a vibe that you want to be around. Like, whether you're fucking him or not, you just want to be around them. Yeah, it just makes you feel good. Yeah. Friday Mercury is like the poster boy for Big Dick Energy. Yeah. Maybe the first. I think that, I think that, like, women also have great big dick energy because it's like Rihanna. I think Rihanna's got big dick energy.

Would you say big dick or would you like go like gushy pussy? Ooh, gushy, boogie. Sometimes I feel like gushy pussy though would make you not as confident because it's like, man, when you're real wet and you're walking around, it's not comfortable. I think that that's something that people don't talk about enough that it's like we talk about when dudes are hard

and how it's difficult for them to get around, but when women are truly wet, it's rough. I would imagine. I don't think wetness correlates to bigness in terms of goodness. Maybe we call it a snapper-lapper-a-energy. Ooh, yeah, yeah. Or just snap her teeth. Oh, she's got her snapper teeth because it's like the kind of thing which once you put

the dick in or whatever you put in there, just like snaps, clamps down on it. Mm-hmm. Because you want to be around the person so much. Mm. I like the idea of, you're describing kind of platonic big dick energy. Yeah, right? Yeah. I think anyone can have big dick energy.

I just love being around your big dick energy. I don't even want to fuck you. Yeah. Just soak them up. Do you guys have anybody you would want to add to the big dick energy party here? You took mine with Idris L, but he's really... I mean, he definitely is up there. But it's like, I feel like Ryan Gosling is not on the big dick energy spectrum.

Definitely not. He's medium, medium dick. But James Marsden, on the other hand, definitely Big Dick Energy. I'm still thinking about the notebook. You know, for an example of, like, dickheads with Big Dick Energy, I'd put the Gallagher brothers from Oasis on that. Yes, very good. That's a different list.

Assholes with Big Dick Energy. That's the Pete Davidson list. Or at least he seems like maybe an asshole. Well, the blind items say he's got quite a drug problem going right now. Yeah, it's not. He's not. I don't think he's a very good person. I would put, maybe I've just watched Thor Ragnarok so many times,

but I feel like I would put both Mark Ruffalo and Chris Hemsworth on. Yeah, I'd say so. Definitely Chris Hemsworth. Yeah. Oh, for sure. Definitely. Man, God, I've been thinking about him a lot this week. Like, I got to stop myself.

I just want to, I mean, I just want to kiss his arms. Is that so wrong? No. No. Thank you. I think that's the first place I'd kiss. without asking. I think Justin Bieber has big dick energy.

Hmm. Controversial. Is he on your list or is he on Marcus' list? Ooh. I mean, it seems like he's getting better. Yeah, I really want to, for some reason I just want to root for that guy, even though I know that he really fucks up all the time. I feel like he found a really good therapist. Yeah. He must be.

He's been all over the place with Haley Baldwin as well. And it's like, it seems like they're just having a good, nice time. Yeah, I was like totally ready to completely be like, he's back, and then he was like kind of racist about Despacito. But I think that maybe he apologized for that. But yeah, I really want to put him on Jackie's list and not the bad list. You know who had big dick energy? Anthony Bourdain. Yeah.

Yes. Yeah, he did. Hugely. I got to stop watching parts unknown because it is, it's hurting my brain. I just started. And I'm like, it's one of those things where you're just like, fuck when you want, when somebody, dies and then you just start watching or listening to all the things they did and it just hurts more, you know?

Yeah. Definitely with Prince. And it is like a healing and a grieving process at the same time. But yeah, Parts Unknown is just so fucking good. I got to check it out. So I've never seen it. Yeah, I had never seen it. I had seen no reservations.

Parts Unknown is very similar, but it's just like go to kind of even further less visited parts of the world. Is it still a food show? Mm-hmm. Okay. Yeah. Oh, it's great. But it's like you learn.

What he does is so, what he did is so good. It's like you learn about... It's like the culture. Yeah, the first episode is Myanmar. And like, I don't know shit about Myanmar. And now I like, no, it's colonial history and shit. Myanmar, formerly Burma. Exactly.

And it's also, there are certain episodes that you watch that you can tell that, like, he like gets straight up hammered on that show. And watching him go from being sober to, like, truly hammered. And, like, the cameras are just rolling. And the conversations that he has sometimes are very like, who, I can't believe you left that in, man. It's quite also like a, it's a study of mental illness on top of everything, I feel like, is watching, like, addiction, like, in the show and just watching him, like, especially the next day and how different he is. It makes me not want to drink. Interesting.

Really? Yeah. Yeah. You know, I love my jizzes. Yep. All right, it's time for blind items. Oh, God, you can't see him. This foreign-born former A-List singer who has not had a hit in what seems like a decade or longer is known by all of you.

She is using Coke to an extreme. I have not seen from her in about five or six years. Apparently, it is incredible quality stuff, and she can't get enough of it. She is so giddy about the quality, she talks about it constantly to her friends. Very weird singer. But I had a lot of hits in the 90s. Bjork. Bjorke.

You took it out of my mouth. Damn, bitch. I mean, very weird. A lot of hits in the 90s, I guess you kind of, that was an alley. That brings it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We did that one. Dude, I mean, I could see it.

I could see that on her face. But she's around, though, so people have seen her just do and blow all over the place? Well, she's had, I mean, she's been doing, like, a new album every couple. Like, she has never stopped putting out albums. She's prolific. She earned it, honestly. Do your coke, Bjork. I mean, they're not great. Well, okay, I wouldn't say they're not great. They're very difficult albums. Oh, yeah. I can't listen to Bjork. I have respect for her, but I can't do it. I apologize. I just can't do it. Yeah, the last few Bjork albums have been exceedingly difficult and not quite my cup of tea, but I can see how people can get into it because I'm into some shit that I know people here and they're like, why are you listening to this?

So I get why people like it. I've got like a noise music friend who's like the most normal thing he listens to is Bjork. And I just can't, I just can't do it. I'm like, don't do it. Big lightning bolt fan? Oh, yeah, so am I. And I got so many mixes that he's made me with lightning bolts on it. And I'm like, don't make me do it.

Yes, yes. I try. I support it. Yes, very much. But I can't do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got to respect guys to put out songs like Dracula Mountain. I just, you know, I wanted to just be much more sugary and just digestible.

I understand. I mean, I have seen Dancer in the Dark, though. I did my part. I threw my Lars von Trier in there. And Dancer in the Dark, you know, it never gets easier. It's always harder. I don't know. Have you guys seen this, have you seen the Bjork movie lately?

Oh, no. It's a time. But I'm just, I'm like going through a bunch of Lars Van Trier because I'm really excited. about the house that Jack built, and I'm getting myself all, like, revved up for it. Yeah. That's going to be a rough one. Yeah.

I'm just down for rough, man. Molly never even look into the house that Jack built. No. For all of us. You don't want to know about it. You don't want to see it. Got it. Done.

You know I know you. You know I wouldn't steer you astray. I trust you very much. Of course, baby. Are you... Wait. Oh, so you can't have, you can't celebrate Fourth of July tomorrow. I mean, I can't get drunk all day, which is what I would like to do.

Yeah, maybe next year. Maybe. I don't know when I will be able to do that, but the minute I can, you bet I will. I remember my parents being pretty hammered from about five on. So, you know, a few years. Yeah, five years from now. That's it. There's five years.

Yeah. You can do it. I'm proud of you. I'm proud of you. Yeah. But I also got to remember that my parents, by the time I was. were still in their late 20s. Yeah.

They had some catching up to do. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'm just going to be drunk forever. That's fine, though. I'm having a great time. I'm really looking forward to Independence Day tomorrow because, whoo, I'm going to think about that Oval Office. Bang, baby.

Man, how much fun must it be to fuck in the Oval Office? A lot of fun, I would imagine. I mean, ask Bill Clinton. There's too many doors. How many times at Obama? How many times at Barack and Michigan? shall bang in the Oval Office, I would imagine quite a few. Yeah, much nicer to think about, too, than Bill Clinton and his gross beege.

Yeah, let's think about too hot people fucking. Yes. Yeah, let's not think about like a gross old man fingering a 19-year-old. Yeah, like a horrible power disparity. Yeah, let's picture two beautiful people. Yeah. Oh, my God, Michelle Obama's arms as she's holding her propped up on the desk, you know. Or think about, you know, I mean, you can think, I mean, I don't know, I bet, I bet Jack and, uh,

What is that, Jack Kennedy? Jackie Onassis? Jackie Onassis, yeah. That's my name. You know what, let's just end it right there. That's all we need. That's your name. You guys, I hope you guys have a wonderful week.

Thank you so much for listening. And if you'd like more, we're going to be doing. We're jagged little PLL. I guess we could just say pull. Yeah, jagged little pole. Come watch Pretty Little Liars with us. It's on Netflix. Everybody's got Netflix.

We're having a great time with it. We're going to be releasing it once a week. And I think you might like it. Yeah. Love you guys. Love you. Goodbye.