Page 7 - Episode 267: Every Daddy is a Daddy to Me

Episode Date: August 23, 2018

Jackie, Molly and Marcus discuss sober karaoke, tragic-spice and himbos. Want in on the slumber party? Support us on Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/page7podcast Go to http://phlur.com today and use promo code PAGE7 to get 20% off your custom Phlur sample set! Get your first refill pack free at http://getquip.com/page7 Thanks to RXBAR for supporting Page7. Get 25% off your first order at http://rxbar.com/page7 promo code page7. Carefree, Deuces, Hep Cats Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Be there for you. These five words, I swear to you. When you breathe, I want to be the air for you. I live and I die for you. And steal the sun from the sky for you. Words can't say what love can do. Because I... Mr. Big?

John Bon Jovi. Deep cuts. We got a John Bun up in here, and it has been in my head for about thrice days. And, you know, I just like, the only thing I think about when I think, it's like, what do I really feel this strongly about? It's obviously hot dogs. And I think that, but my problem is now I've associated it with hot dogs. So every time I eat a hot dog, I think about this song.

I know what song I was thinking of is the Mr. Big song is that, I'm the one who wants to be with you. I'm the world. Deep inside I hope you. Fear, feeling it too. Oh, yeah, baby. I love that song. It's a good song.

It's a childhood song for me. Like I remember, I very much remember the summer that song came out. It's a great song. Molly, any feelings? I got to say, I feel a little lost. You don't remember being at Lake Stamford when you were like six years old and all the kids were sitting around listening to Mr. Big on the cassette tapes? I think I must have missed Mr.

Oh, man, I know you know this song. You do. When you sing it, I recognize it. But that's just because you guys are both very good at singing. Oh, well, thank you very much. You got to have your mind, you got to have your memory jog by, feel it too! They're just so into it.

Every time I remember when that song came back into my life, I was on the seven train in the city, and I guess it was like a Yankee game had just gotten out. And so the whole train was packed. It was after the game. filled with a bunch of drunk Yankee fans because they won, and everyone was so excited. It was a bunch of bros,

and one of the bros started talking to me. I was like, hey, man, I was completely sober, not in a place to talk to these guys. And then one of the dudes, he's like, Keith, remember the other night? We were karaoke, and he was like, yeah, man. Oh, man, Brian, you killed it. And then one of them started going,

I'm the one who wants to be. And then the entire, slowly, the entire train started to sing the song because they all started singing it. And then I started singing it. And then other people started singing it. And it was one of those New York moments. And I was just like, this is nice. Yeah, that sounds great. This is dumb.

This is really nice. Did I tell you guys that I did stone cold, sober karaoke like maybe a week before I ended up giving birth? Why? No. Yeah. So you're very pregnant. sober doing karaoke? Very pregnant, sober as a church mouse, and it was my friend's birthday, and she loves karaoke,

and she gets, like, the private rooms in Korea Town, you know, and those are, like, really fun. Man, those are a recipe for disaster, because it's B-Y-O-B, and then you're just like, well, I'm snackered. Oh, yeah. No, I've been in one of those rooms where somebody got, like, physically injured from being so drunk. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I've never remembered the end of a night in one of those rooms. No, man. But it's, they're so fun, and so we were like, oh, okay. Okay, let's go. I was like 34 weeks pregnant. I was like, I'm probably not going to go out much after this. This will be a fun birthday party. Let's go.

And it was fun, and I'm glad I went, because it turned out it was like the last time I've been out socially since then. But doing karaoke sober is rough. I can imagine. It's rough. I would never want to do karaoke sober. It's just the cold light of day is on you. You know, no matter how dark the room, it feels like you are singing in the sun. It was also a small gathering

So you got to do a lot of songs Which is great if you're drunk Because when you're drunk You're like, I could sing another one And when you're sober you're like What else do I have in me? When you're sober you can see the whites Of other people's eyes

Yeah, exactly So what did you sing? Well, John and I did punk rock girl Which was fun That's a good one I did Katie Perry's Firework Which unfortunately the range is just a little too high It's a lot

It's a lot What else did I do? I didn't do walking on broken glass because I learned my, again, range. Yeah, yeah. Big range. The sweetest thing. Cheap Trick Surrender is my classic karaoke song, so I did that.

It's a great one. And I didn't do this one, but my new now favorite karaoke song is, I want it that way. Man, that is a fun karaoke song because everybody remembers the words. to that song. Oh, hell yeah. Boys. I didn't know boys were listening to the Backstreet Boys back then, but everybody remembers the words to that song. We weren't. We were just

listening to the radio and it was on every third fucking song. Yeah, you have to know the words. Yeah. I did karaoke recently, but it was in an almost empty bar and the guy kind of talked to me into doing. He's like, if you were going to do a song, what song would you do? And so I told him I would do Natalie and Brugley is torn. But since he made me do it in between all of the lyrics, I was just like, all the penises are on. I'm all out of pain This is how I feel Fuck you men

I'm cold I'm G And he's just like After he's like whoa Someone is upset with men I was like no I'm just upset with you You bastard It's not about men It's about you

Yeah man I love men Thank you very much Thank you Every daddy is a daddy to me Got a daddy of the week this week Oh do I have a daddy of the week this week.

You know, just the right questions to ask, Marcus. I know, I know the triggers. How did you know? You could just feel it? I know, I know how to set up the Jackie Cannon. I know which fused a light. Good Lord in Heaven.

It was definitely borderline uncomfortable watching. Henry, Natalie, and I watched Devil's Candy last night, which is a fantastic horror movie. Molly never watch it. It's fantastic, though. It's very, very serious. Somebody should make a list of all the things over the years of this podcast that you guys have said, Molly, never watch it. Don't watch it.

If you ever have a question about it, just hit me up and be like, should I watch this? And I'll tell you yes or no. But news flash, new daddy alert on the scene, not a new daddy. One of my old school crushes. Ethan Embry has gotten so daddy hot. It's insane. Who did? Even every reason.

You know him. Yeah, you know exactly who this guy is. He was the sensitive boy in Empire Records. Okay. Like the main guy in Empire Records. The main guy in Can't Hardly Wade. Oh, him. Yes.

Isn't he also from Grace and Frankie? Yeah, using Can't Hardly Wait as well. Yes. Ah, yes. He's coyote. Coyote and Grayson Frankie. And he's so good at Grace and Frankie. He is Daddy Hot.

Dude, you have two. look at a picture of him in devil's candy. I don't know if you're able to bring it up, Marcus, because hacha my chair, like, it was like, I was spruishing off the chair. I couldn't, every time you would just like be on the screen and you're like, can you stop? So I'm just going, yum, yum yum. Yum. Yum. It's. Oh, no, Jackie. Oh, what? What are you talking about? You got a type, girl. Dude, with the beard and the hair and the tats. I like him stringy and scrawny, but you like them stringy in their hair.

And especially in the movie, he's got a really great relationship with his wife and his daughter, who they both share love of like heavy metal music. That's sweet. It's so cute. And he's such a great daddy. and it made Henry uncomfortable. He kept asking, he's like, do I need to shut this off? Is it time for me to shut this off?

Are you going to compose yourself? I didn't. I didn't compose myself at all. That's your daddy of the week. Have either of you guys been watching any succession? No, not yet. Everyone keeps telling me to watch it. Is this what I need to do?

I feel so in touch because I'm watching what other people are watching. At the time they are watching it. I'm very in touch. It is, there's not, it's tough because I actually don't find anyone in it especially good looking. I don't think I stand by that statement right. I think there's somebody in it, but I can't think of them right now. You're not hot for Brian Cox. The old man.

You're not hot for Brian Cox. Not hot for Brian Cox. But Karen Culkin is there. Although a little bit of a granddaddy, throwing that out there. Definitely a granddaddy. Yeah. Karen Culkin is there. And I'm not sure the actor who plays the main character, but he's like this really like uptight,

like former coke addict like Wall Street man and he is Jeremy Strong maybe you guys know actor's names more than I do he's really I think doing a great job of being like a really objectionable type of man I like his ears because I feel like I would grab on his ears as I made out with him are you talking about Cameron from Ferris Bueller's Day Off? No that's the other brother okay but that is definitely Cameron from Ferris Bueller's Day Off he is like an actual daddy not in the hot sense but just in like a middle-aged man sense Oh, but Cameron and Ferris Puehler's Day Off, talk about, break me off a piece of that. His eyes, oh, windows to my no hole.

Really? You like Cameron. I don't need a soul. I got those kind of eyes. I wonder if you would find old Cameron hot. I'm looking at a picture of him. Does he have the same weird goatee? I don't think he has a goatee.

He's just got his floppy hair. He looks exactly like an age progression of Cameron. He's got a goate in the cast picture. Does he? That's why I'm not really into goatees, not really my thing. Yeah, I mean, I guess I usually notice facial hair. I don't think he has it in the show, but it is a good show. I actually enjoy it quite a lot.

And it's like weird because it's one of these shows that once you, for me, once you hear about it, you realize that everyone in your life is talking about it. And it's like very popular. It's basically a rest of development, but serious. Ooh. Yeah. Is it on a scale of nunzo to speciesist of spiciest? Where's the lie?

It's not as, if species of spiciest is, um, uh. Let's say Riverdale. Riverdale, or I was going to say Sharp Objects. Okay, Sharp objects is pretty species. You think it's species spicy, problematic, Molly? Well, I don't mean species spicy in a sexy way, but in like a... We're talking, we're talking species, spicy, sexy. Oh, okay, well, then Riverdale.

Species spicy, sharp objects is like, everybody always talks with their voice like this. I'm also kind of into the sexiness of the sharp objects, but again, problematic for me. It's quite problematic. It's not that, well, you know, it's just everybody, it's just like a rest of development, but serious. And everybody is just like a terrible person. And then they're all really horny. It is pretty horny. Okay.

Like, it's just like terrible, rich horny. bastards. Well, horny and Specy Spicy aren't necessarily the same thing. Yeah. Yeah. It has it has had a couple of sex scenes that are enjoyable. But yeah, it's just like horny, angry dicks, and it just works

for some reason. See, you should have led this whole conversation with horny, angry dicks, and then I would have been immediately on board. Horny angry dicks. I recommend I would like to discuss. And I want to discuss, I watch sharp objects, and then I want to discuss it,

And then we tried last week, and I just don't have anything to say. I don't even, I read the book. I don't remember anything. I don't understand what's going on. I feel like it's very, it's just everyone's just whispering and hushed tones. And I know everything's very serious. And I feel like I want to talk about Sharp Objects, and yet I keep coming up empty in terms of anything other than like, I don't know what's happening.

You know, that's how it makes me feel. Auga, awuga. Ooh, something bad happened in that town. That's how it makes me feel. Yeah, but Patricia Clarkson's just so good in it. Ooh, Patricia Clarkson's in it, huh? That changes things a little. Dude, she's so good in it.

That's the mama? Mama. Oh, yeah, baby. I'm thinking Patricia Clarkson. I'm thinking mom from Toole, from home improvement, right? No, that's Patricia Heaton. Ah. That would be fun.

That would be a big character change for her. That would be a big difference. The range of Patricia. Patricia Heaton. I know. I was like, the ghost thing is like, wow. Wait, did you say?

No, right. Patricia, yeah. No, this is, I mean, I typed in Patricia Clarkson. This is definitely a completely different one from who I was thinking of. No, Patricia Heaton is the one from everybody loves Raymond, which is why I yelled.

Deborah. Deborah! The twins! Her name is Patricia Richardson. Yeah, no. A lot of Patricia's out there. I think I just thought, like, TV came in one ear and Patricia came in the other. I'm like, what Patricia do I remember from television?

And it's like, mop from home cooking, I called Patricia. And that's when my mother's like, hey, you should mention something about home improvement right now. Okay, whatever you say. I like the mom from two different sitcoms of the same era played by actresses named Patricia. Patricia, that's very. I don't know, man. That's kind of meat to some sort of weird fate. Maybe I should change my name to Patricia.

Then Patricia Richardson had, like, she had an element of hotness to her when I was a kid. I'm not going to lie. Really? Yeah. I don't know what it was, but she had something about her that I enjoyed. Maybe it was the fact that on all the other 90s hitcoms, the moms were dead. So you needed to appreciate the living moms while they were there. Well, you know, Aunt Vivian.

She was always pretty vivacious. vivacious Vivian. And Vivian was good. I guess I'm just thinking of full house. Why do they have to kill the mother? Yeah, why'd they have to kill them? But then you had the aunt who was pretty hot. Yeah.

Lori Loughlin. Mm-hmm. Who is all over the Hallmark Channel now. Oh my God, so many, there's so many new Hallmark movies coming out for Christmas this year, guys. So start gearing yourself, said. I can't. Wait. I'm going to be ready this year.

You know how much we have. We love Hallmark Christmas movies. I am so. We're going to be in Puerto Rico this year with Carolina's parents, so I'm not sure how much Hallmark Christmas we're going to be able to get. What? You tell them to get a cable box. I don't know if Puerto Rican cable includes fucking Hallmark Channel.

It might. Maybe I'll call them up and say, hey, could you make sure to have a Hallmark Channel at your house for Christmas? It's kind of a tradition. It's like, I know that Hurricane, like, destroyed your country and stuff. But like, what about the Hallmark Channel? This is what will lead you to become a political activist from Puerto Rico. The infrastructure has been destroyed.

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Another stretch, I know. Go to Fleur.com today and use promo code page 7 to get 20% off your custom flur sample set. Pick three cents to try and get credit towards a full-sized bottle of your favorite. That's promo code page 7 at Fleur.com to try three Fleur fragrances. of your choice at 20% off. P-H-L-U-R-Dat-K-K-Kam. I think that I'm going to, I really missed the boat last year, and I really feel silly about it because this type of movie,

you know, in high school I used to watch Lifetime movies all weekend, and I think that Hallmark movies are like the next level up from like what Lifetime movies used to be. And so I think that this year I'm going to start like right after, like right when the Christmas tree goes up after Thanksgiving weekend. I think I'm going to start with Hallmark movies. Yeah, really fun game when you're watching a Hallmark movie. You can really only do this once a season,

but you try to imagine, like, how could this movie end in a murder suicide? Oh, I'm like just plain guessing what's going to happen. It's like, all right, is the cabin magic? Do her fingers come to life with magic? How much is she going to fall in love? Is her old high school sweetheart going to come back out of the blue? And that's what I think I like to do the Russian roulette wheel of what is going to happen in this Hallmark movie.

Oh, yeah. Who is Santa Claus today? Tim Allen! In my heart it's always Tim Allen. I was pregnant last December and so I couldn't do any sort of drinking games. But I feel like a Hallmark movie requires either a drinking game or maybe a smoking game with, you know, if the list of like if somebody comes back from the dead. There's so many rules out there, Molly. If you just look them up, you don't even have to make up your own.

They're everywhere. It's already there. That's perfect. I don't have the time to write my own. Oh, yeah. I mean, country living. Countryliving.com has a whole Hallmark Christmas movie drinking game list. Country, really?

How bold of them? Oh, yeah. Good for them. Take a drink. These are actually, this is actually very good. Reference to a dead relative. So good. Take a drink.

Main character's name related to Christmas. Oh, it's just like, jingle jangle, Ritchinson. I.e. Holly, Nick, Chris, such, and such. Oh, gotcha. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, they're all called Chris. All the guys are named Nick. Whoa, I didn't even, God, I even think about that. Chris Cringle, baby. Where's your head been? Anytime someone disses fake Christmas trees, take a drink.

Or if someone's disillusioned with the magic of Christmas. That's when you finish your drink. Newcomer partakes in old family or town tradition. I love that. And they're like, oh, such a quaint town. This is crazy. So they fill the whole town with fake snow? Big city person transplanted into a small town. Those are such good ones.

Or that or the one that I watched last year with Candace Cameron Bray, when she played herself and her twin sister and they swapped places for Christmas. And one is a corporate woman and the other one's a family mom living in the suburbs. Wait, you know, I know that we, I'm not, we can't get. political and I won't, but I just want to say that I recently watched The View again, and it was fucking awesome. The View is good again, man. Really? Well, it was when Megan McCain was there and they were talking about socialism. That's all I'll say, but Joy Behar was just doing joy. She was just doing what Joy Behar does. She was being joy. Hell yeah. Good for her. And I really enjoyed it.

And I hadn't really watched The View like really in a long time because I was like, who was this new view? It's like, stay by the bell, the new class. I'm not going to watch that. Yeah, I don't know any of them. I thought I didn't know any of them anymore. Yeah, but now she's back, and I don't know if Megan McCain's always there or if she was just there that day. Oh, no, she's been a regular host for quite a while now.

That's what I thought. Wait, is, is Woop Troop still on it? Woop Troop is still there. And Candace Cameron Burr is still there, I believe. Well, does anybody on the view make a magic deal with Santa or an angel? If they are, you got to take a drink. You got to take a drink. And then you've got double drink for obvious product advertisement,

Snowball Fight or Ice Skating, Ugly Sweater or Tie, or Snowden! Man, people are going to die with this drinking game, though. It does upset me that I feel like there should be a whole channel that's dedicated to Species, Spicy, Christmas Hallmark movies. You know what I mean? Species spicy in general. There's so many times, though, that they're, like, kissing in front of a fire, and I'm just like, keep going.

I want to see the bear rugs sex. That's what the Lifetime channel was in high school. It was not only, it was just like tragespecy spicy, trageospice. And it was all the time. And it wasn't Christmas, but it was just like every lifetime movie was like somebody in the family has already died and it's just devastated the family. You know, that's what every lifetime movie is about. Oh, yeah. And of course, you finish the drink if the cynic is filled with the Christmas spirit or if it snows on Christmas.

And the bonus is you take a shot if the movie stars Candace Cameron Beret or Lacey Chabair. Oh man, Lacey Chabair really took up the helm on the old Hallmark Channel. Now I'm just thinking about the Lifetime movie that was the guy that did, he was in Clueless with the Rowland with the Homies. Elton. Elton. Elton. Elton played a bad stepdaddy that was sexy stepdaddy, but also like a little like,

not too good gropey stepdaddy, but like in a cute way, but not he was sinister and I think he was a murderer. But it was very, very good. I don't know where to start with that. Yeah, you just became like Jackie in the break room. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Describing that. Give me my bolognaz sandwich.

which I got things to talk about. I've been avoiding my whole life trying to find out what that actor's name is because I refuse to call him anything but Elton. But he has had a prolific career and he is in a whole branch of Law and Order episodes. Elton from what? Clueless. Clueless. Which I recently rewatched.

One of the first movies I watched after I was home with Freddie and coming out of the fog of postpartum trauma was clueless. I just want to lick Paul Rochard. from Nin to 10. That guy, the guy that played the brother in six feet under. I never watched Six Feet Under. He played The Brother in Six Feet Under. I also never did that show either. I have like three episodes of The Sopranos left and I'm afraid to finish it.

Like, I'm always afraid to finish the series. I still have never seen the last episode of Trailer Park Boys because I was going to be so sad to finish it. Well, they've made like five seasons since then. I know, I know. I really should just stop it because it just keeps coming back. But I was like, I can't finish it. so I never watched it. And now we have like three episodes left of the Sopranos and I just need to finish it.

But I'm going to be so sad to have finished it. But I also will feel a sense of accomplishment. But I'm also scared. I'm scared because people talk about the last episode of Sopranos like a lot. And I'm going to know what they're talking about now. I'm proud of you. I fell off the Sopranos bandwagon. But something really did excite me yesterday.

And Molly, this goes out to you. Don't worry anymore. I know that you've been worried your entire life. But Nabisco has finally released the animals from their cages on the animal cracker box. We are now a food podcast. Well, P.T. Barnum was a celebrity at one point. I saw this. Come on.

Tell us what you think you've. What do you think about it, Molly? You vegetable head. Well, here's the thing. I was. Your veggie head. Yeah, you veggie head. I was a vegan.

I was a vegan in my wonderful home state of Iowa, which I love very much. And now is totally rad. And was rad at the time in its own way. But at the time, I did not know any other vegans. And some of the people who I knew, many were wonderful and very accommodating. And some people were mean to me. Yeah. And that really doesn't have anything to do with Iowa.

But it just was not like a city where there was vegan options. And also, I was in high. high school and sometimes high schoolers aren't mean to each other and people loved to be like also preface to all of this i love animal shaped food i love teddy grams goldfish i know you do animal crackers uh swedish fish i love animal shaped food oh i love Swedish fish and people just thought that they were the smartest high school dicks ever to be like oh you're eating animal crackers i thought you didn't need animals. I thought you didn't need animals. And so I felt a little bit retramatized

by the damn news about the animal crackers because they're not real animals. And I know that and it didn't seem to matter to the people who wanted to make fun of me for being vegan. I just think, and it's not, it's like I'm not doing this. You know I'm doing it out of jest because I figured that it would be some sort of weird trigger. I'm just like, of course everyone wants to tell

the vegetarian that the animals will let out of the cage as if you chose for it to happen but it does make me, it just makes me smile because I don't know if you've seen the new box because they're all like sexy muscular animals now. That lion is pretty sexy. That lion is sexy. That giraffe is begging for it

with his little eyes and his little ears and that gorilla, are you kidding me? I mean, I want to climb all over it and be like, I'm the baby. Oh, wait, are these, can you bring it back, Marcus? Are these animals that all live in the same ecosystem together? They couldn't. Do they? Those are all sub-Saharan Africa.

Velt animals? Well, I think, yeah, I mean, a gorilla's not a Saharan animal. Not a gorilla, a mountain animal. The rest of them could all conceivably live together, right? Conceivably, yeah. Elephant, lion. I don't think they would stand that close to each other. I don't think they would stand that close to each other.

I don't think they would stand that one. I don't think they'd stand in lockstep? I guess my question is, with the bar is gone, is it that a zoo has been like kind of taken, is there been a revolution at the zoo? Or is it that it's not about zoo animals anymore, but about the wild? Because the conceit really is complicated now if there's no bars, because those are zoo animals, you know? They're very much, yeah, Barnum did not run a wildlife refuge.

Yeah. And if it's a wildlife refuge, that's great. But if it's like the zoo has been destroyed by the animals and the animals are covered. society has broken down the zoo keepers have let loose all of the animals before they left to go home and die with their families. Like climate change, like some sort of climate change disaster

has led the zoo to be abandoned and all the animals. Geostorm has happened. Oh my God, geostorm was so great. It's actually not a very peaceful thing. We saw that together, right? No, I was not able to make it to the big Geostorm viewing that happened. I had to work.

You have to yell Geostorm at least 10 times while watching Geostorm. Don't worry, the storm lasts for about two minutes. I thought about watching Geostorm on the plane the other day, but ended up going with Rampage, which is actually quite fun. For an airplane movie, Rampage was quite fun. That sounds great. Do you think that these animals would be able to participate in Rampage now that they are free from their cages?

If they were given the Rampage virus, as the animals in Rampage were. So what is it? Is the movie just like outbreak, but more action? It's like there's an evil From what I could tell I was just kind of half paying attention to it But from what I could Yeah airplane movie

From what I could tell There was a genetic shot When given to animals Makes them grow real big and real violent And then they'd set them loose like in other countries And they would become like living weapons But they accidentally got sent loose into city And so you had a bunch of big animals

Like beating up a city and the rock, like, yelling the entire... He's terrible. That sounds like a good airplane movie, though. Hey. Whoa. You hold your horses and your monkeys, Marcus. He is not terrible.

He's fantastic. He's America's sweetheart. He's America's sweetheart and perhaps our political future because he's... Is he running? The question's always looming. Like, I know. Like, he's very wooden as an actor.

He's a very wooden actor. Yeah. But not charmingly wooden. Wooden in his pants. Yeah. Thank you, Molly. Thank you for picking that up. Yes, he's very wooden in his pants.

You, you, you, you, you. The most reason airplane movie I saw, which is like King airplane movie, is bad moms. Bad moms does sound King Airplane. It should only be made straight to airplane. It was, you know, I think that Milakunis is hot as balls. We've all known that. I enjoyed it quite a lot, actually. But it should only be watched.

on an airplane, I think. Yeah. You know, Milakunis has got weird eye things because she had only use of one of her eyes for about five years of her life. Did she have that interesting? Did she have a patch? What happened to her other eye? Something happened to her.

She had to have a bunch of surgeries on it. So that's why have you ever noticed, like she's got, I was looking into eye, like, celebrities with eye problems because in Devil's Candy, Pruitt, Taylor Vince is in it. You know Pruitt Taylor Vince. He's like a big guy. He's in a lot of scary movies, but he's got the eye wobbly disease. Uh-huh.

That Henry was actually talking about this because he was in heroes with him and he was saying that he's a huge, really nice, very quiet guy, but he plays, he's like in Identity, which is a movie that I love secretly, which I want to rewatch, but I think it holds up.

Do you guys remember Identity? No. John Cusack. Never watched Identity. I think it's really good. Efeek. But also, So, you know, the eye wobbly disease is something that's like they can never drive.

It's like, they have to take medication to keep their eyes from just like darting back and forth, darting back and forth, darting back and forth. So it gives them a very creepy effect. But also, Kenny Rogers has it as well. Hmm. Ah, did that lead me down a stream of watching a bunch of Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton videos of them singing islands in the stream to each other? Yes. Man, the way that your brain works, your leisure time just sounds just rich. It just sounds filled with pleasures.

Is it filled with pleasure? Is it the hot dogs, the sex, and me watching videos of Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton? And watching the fact that you just sit there and watch a movie and you're like, you know what I want to spend a lot of time researching is this eye disease? Yes, my leisure time is filled with pleasures. It's my pleasures. I like my pleasures and no one takes my pleasures from me. Yeah, I'm starting to sit like a gargoyle.

I just keep refreshing Twitter and hoping for some good news. You know, your leisure time just sounds so much richer than mine. You know what it is, is that I don't know how to kill time on the internet. I've never been one of those. I don't know how to do it. And so now I just go down, it's just like, I would like to learn more about this celebrity, which is... That's exactly how you kill time on the internet. Now I know.

I had to teach me. I read lists about how to organize things. Oh, very nice. And also lists about how to bake. and make food, but now I'm into like 27 things that'll fix your closet. And then I get halfway through and then I fall asleep. Oops, I dirtied again. My mouth, that is.

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That's your first refill pack free at Get Quip. dot com slash page seven spell g et q uip dot com slash page seven what do you do to kill time marcus uh video game stuff yeah look like so what are the new red dead redemption gameplay trailers looking like and i'll read those and then read about the speculation of like oh what will you be able to do in this game ooh doom infinite maybe i should look at a bunch of memes of doom guy like oh yes i have been so angry, I've killed hell. Yes. You were, with Molly and I are Bowles,

just like, yes. Oh, Doom? I remember that from the DOS era. Oh, yes, that is a very clever legend of Zelda, Breath of the Wild meme. Kudos. I remember, doesn't

he play the pipe? The fife? Some sort of... Jackie, Jacqueline, I believe you are referencing the Aukarina in Legend of Zelda

Aquarina of Time released on Nintendo 64 re-released on the Nintendo DS When I was making Let me ask you that when I was making

lists of names that I liked I made it I you know Put everything on there Throw it at the wall See what sticks And Gideon wanted

Gideon's Jewish And he wanted to get some like Yiddish names in there And on a lot of Yiddish name lists The Viltavish Zelda

And I'm like Zelda is a cool name And so I put it on a list and I was like how do we feel about the name Zelda and he was like everyone will think about Legends of Zelda only Legends of Zelda and I was like I don't think about Legends of Zelda I think about Zelda Fitzgerald and he was like well everyone else we'll think about Legends of Zelda that's probably true right if you would have told me like yeah we're naming her Zelda I would have just gone huh of course you are well all right I thought I would

have thought of Zelda Rubinstein though but she's bad ace. Poultergeist, don't you come into my closet? Spot on. Man, I am going to go to impression school. I don't even need to go. I'm going to teach. Delga Rubenstein. Is that the little woman from a poltergeist?

Yes. This house is clear. See, I would have thought of that, but then I would have been like, yeah, Molly, you, you, you, you. You. Sorry, this is in my vernacular now, and I don't know what to do. I've been doing it for a couple of weeks. And I don't know how to stop.

You've been hanging out at a lot of sports bars? No, I haven't been hanging out. I've been doing a lot of like, yeah, and like, nois. It sounds like you been hanging out a lot. You've been going to Austin Powers bars. Maybe that's what, maybe it's the Austin Powers bar. Have you been saying, do I make you a honey, baby? DeWa!

Get in my belly. I've been holding up Wendy a lot and going, Wendy, the other, other white meat. I'm not going to eat Wendy, though. She's too small. She's got too many bones. That's not a meal. That's not a meal.

That's an appetiz. So Henry scared the bluesies out of me the other day. And he was looking at his phone. He's sitting there in his panties. And he was just like, hey. Did you see Winona Ryder and Keanu Reeves got married? And I was like, what?

I was, I mean, I was drinking coffee, and I almost did the spit take. And it's not true. They didn't actually get married, although they both are saying that they might actually have gotten for real married in the 1992 film Dracula because they had a Romanian priest actually go through the entire ceremony while they were filming

and it is possible that they were actually wet. This is the biggest clickbait story I have ever seen in my entire life. It made me so mad when I actually clicked on it. It was like, oh, okay, what's that? That's that all about. And then it's just, oh yeah, we did a movie together once. There was a ceremony and I don't know. Yeah, it's not that to work that way.

You got to sign something. You can't accidentally get married. No, you can't. I mean, we'd all be screwed. I would have been accidentally married like 10 times. I would have been accidentally married to a teddy bear that I had a marriage ceremony with when I was a child. Yeah, but I bet Pookie would be a great father and a great lover.

But, man, Winona Ryder, Otto Kiano Reeves' League, in my opinion. I know it's a controversial statement. I don't know. When was the last time you watched John Wick? I have not watched John Wick. Watch John Wally. I know. I know. I know.

Which one? Both? You know what? I haven't seen the second one yet because we went and saw the other, the first one, we went to, where was it? Videology in Brooklyn and watched a screening of it the other week. And I had never seen it before. Jackie loves it.

After watching John Wick, Keanu Reeves deserves whatever Keanu Reeves wants. Really? Oh my God. Do the haunt to haunt. Do to haunt. It is, Molly, it's insane. You know, I do, I love me in action movie. I love to go, ah, they're blowing it up.

But I watched, I remember I watched John Wick for the first time with my parents and Henry and Natalie. And like 45 minutes in, Henry and I were both just like up, just being like, yeah, you, yeah, get him, get him, got them all. Because it's all over a dog. Yeah. And it makes you love him even more. And he's just so mad. That's why you love it, Marcus. It's because you just got a dog.

Well, I, yeah, but I would still love the movie anyway. You're like, avenge the dog. Yeah, did I think of Georgie when the dog got killed? Yes. No. I have a, I had a Jack Russell Terrier growing up in large part because I saw the movie My Dog Skip. But it's not about the dog.

It's about the dog. It's about the dog. You know what I mean? It's about his wife. And it's about grief. It's about a grief. That's the funny thing. Every fucking movie is about the grieving process these days.

It's true. But it is. That's what it's about. We all have a lot of unresolved trauma. Yeah, we do. Dude, it's so good, though. It's really, really good. And also, he does all of his own stunts in it.

And he's hot. He's so hot. He's just so hot. And I think it's like, I've talked to so many people about this. Even people that don't find Keanu Reeves usually attractive. find him attractive in John Wick. Really? All right.

I will watch it. I know that people love it. I guess I just always kind of thought of him as like a hymbo. Yeah, no, no, no, no. Well, he's somewhat of a hymbo in this one. But... Did you say Kimbo slice? Like a Kimbo?

A Kimbo. A himbo. A he-bimbo. I have never heard this phrase. It's fun, isn't it? You've never heard himbo? No, where have I been? I would imagine this would have been in your lexicon for a decade.

He's a himbo. He's a bimbo. Yeah. I love that. Yeah, like Jason Momola, bit of a hembo. He is a himbo. In Seinfeld, they call it a mimbo,

but I like himbo a lot better. I like himbo a lot better too, yeah. Where have I been? I, oh, oh, be prepared. Be prepared. Everyone's getting hymboed. You handboat. Oh, what you out there?

Being a hymbo right now. Please, I would love for it to replace you, because it's starting to annoy myself. I don't know what to do. But also just quick, quick signbar about, I don't know if you guys are following the Riverdale News right now, but you know that I am audently, and they are doing a flashback episode.

And it is, so Anthony Michael Hall just signed on to play the principal. They're doing a breakfast club style flashback episode. No way. And it's called, I think, what is it called? The Midnight Society. Just the midnight club. It's the same thing. The midnight club, yeah, but it's darker, Marcus.

It's the breakfast club, but it's at night. The Midnight Society is from Are You Afraid of the Dark? Are You Afraid of the Dark? Man, bring back that show. That's a reboot I would like. Where can I watch? Are You Afraid? Certainly I must be able to watch it somewhere. Somebody tell me where can I want.

YouTube? I've watched a lot of it on YouTube. Okay, because I want to watch it. And some of them do really hold up. But this flashback episode, like what I love, is that most of the characters are playing their, it's like, like, you know, they're playing their parents.

Like, KJ. Appas playing Luke Perry and that kind of stuff. Oh, that's going to be fun. Yeah, just giving him, probably just giving him sideburns. And it's like, oh, yeah, that's Fred. No, they're also darkening his hair, Marcus. Man, Luke Perry wishes, though. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

But my favorite part is that, so we talked about this last week, is that Hiram's actual son in real life that he has with Kelly Rippa is playing him as a younger version of himself, which hachi-machi, yes, please, and I hope everyone kisses. Can you imagine how much kissing is going to happen in this episode? And we've established that the son is an adult. Oh, yeah, well, it seems like what the plot is, is that Principal Featherhead, which is played by Anthony Michael Hall, will, him and the kids will get caught up in the game the teenagers are playing in an unexpected way.

What does it mean? What does Anthony Michael Hall look like these days? Is he a daddy? He looks like a high school principal. Yeah. You know who I sometimes mix up and I get embarrassed about it just because they're both kind of strawberry blonde ease is Anthony Michael Hall and Anthony rap?

They got the same hair color, like exactly. And I feel like they're age peers. Yes, he is the one from Rent. Yes, exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. See, I mean, I was definitely into him as, you know, a rent head myself. I was gonna say, I know you were a high schooler who was really in to rent.

I don't like to talk about, but... I know the type of high schooler who was really into rent, and it was you. It's me. It's definitely me. Yeah, I love it. I actually, I listened to it a couple of weeks ago for the first time in years. And I sat and I sang along to it and I cried to it. And you know what?

I had a great time. I am not ashamed anymore. I'm coming out, okay? Rent head. I'm a rent head for life, and that's just how it goes. And I'm never going to be able to be in it because I can't be any of the characters,

also because I'm never thin enough to look like I actually have AIDS. And I think that if they could just give me a shot, if they could just give me a shot, I could be at least an off-Broadway Joanne. Come on. Off-Broadway Joanne, eh? You guys don't even understand.

You're not even rent-heads. I don't know. Come on, Rent-head. Come on, Rent-head. Give me a song. Give me an audition. Audition. Do I have to audition with a rent song? Yes, I am rent man.

I am putting on rent and you must impress me as a rent man who does rent. But the thing is that my favorite song is sung by Jesse L. Martin and I can't do it justice. I thought that everybody who's a rent head just constantly walks around the school singing 521,600 minutes. No. There's a very sad song. that's a reprise and it's called I'll cover you and Angel sings it to begin with because

Jesse L. Martin is in love with Angel and then spoiler alert Angel fucking dies and then so there's in the funeral he just like live in my house I'll be your shelter to do just pay me back

with 1,000 kisses Henry? Sorry, I'm trying to see if Henry would sing with me. Be my lover, and I'll cover you. Henry must be in the bathroom or something. Yeah. I hear him.

I hear him. It's light back there. I know he wants to sing it. He was never a rent head, though. I just forced him to listen to it. But it's a very sad song, and I'm sorry, I just love that song. Man, now I'm going to listen to Rent all day. My day's over.

I don't know. I feel like, I don't know what is wrong with me that I was like the type of musical kid that is like more into the music man than into rent. But I feel like there were two camps. There was the rent kids and then there was the kids that were like show tunes. And I was in the show tunes. Show tunes are a lot more fun. A lot more fun. They are. Because I like more of the sad stuff. That's why I like Jason Robert Brown. Yeah. I mean, I certainly like sad things. But when it comes to musicals, show tunes, but then also laymiz. Lame is. But wait, Jackie, speaking of pop musicals, because I was never a rent person, nor am I a Hamilton person,

but I get a lot of shade from musical theater fans. Forgive me if I've asked you this before, but how do you feel about Andrew Lloyd Weber? I think that that also goes down into the different camps of people. Uh-huh. Henry is an Andrew Lloyd-Weber.

I love that camp. I'm a Jason Robert Brown. Uh-huh. Okay. This is very boring for people that don't care about these scenes. It's time for the list. The fantasy of the album

It is pop culture Their musicals are around They are with us They are in us I get it I get it It's just time for the lens I get it

I get it, damn it It's time to pop You up Guys don't be scared I know I sounded like Arnold Schwarzenegger for a second but it's just me, it's Jackie. I can't help myself because I'm getting swole-zoned

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7 and use the promo code page 7 to check out. That's rxbar.com slash page 7. Promocode page 7. So apparently you guys started the 50 crazy celebrity facts You Won't Believe or True List last week. We started it a couple of weeks ago with you. Last week we did facts about Tommy Boy. Did we get to sing last week, Jackie?

Who's on the list? I think we did. Okay, good. Actually, I don't think you did. We didn't, shall we? No, I don't think you did. Stop for the list! Who's on the list?

I mean, I sang it. Get it out of that list. Crazy celebrity facts, you won't believe her true. Do. Did we do... Yeah, just start in the middle of the list. We just started in the middle of the list? Did we talk about Megan Fox believing in leprechauns?

No, we did not. Yeah, she believes in leprechauns. She's like, I don't believe in the shamrock leprechauns. That would be ridiculous. I believe in magical Irish people. Isn't it the same thing? Maybe I'm speaking out of turn. Come on now.

Do you guys not believe in lepricons? I would love to. I think that I joyfully. believe in leprechauns. Like the mischief makers. Like they're going to come in and be like, the might me gold you have. And I'll be like, yeah, I got it. Sorry.

And then send them back to the lepercon. Not like just like a short little magical Irish person. Yeah, but isn't that great? And then we'll be wed and then I'll be a lepercon princess. I like the lucky jarms guy. I would be great at being a lepercon princess. I'd be like, do whatever you got to do. Let your red hair grow long.

I'm totally into it. I love the hat. Love the shoes. Love the job. I'm on board. Right? Right. I'm going to marry a leprechaun. You guys are all going to see. You know, Kim Kardashian has people take the cardboard sleeve off her coffee in the other room

because she can't stand to touch it herself. Why don't you just ask for the coffee without the cardboard sleeve? I don't know. Because it would burn the hands of the person holding the coffee for her, I guess. I guess that's actually kind of good of her. It's kind of nice. Yeah, because like, no. You can get it for yourself, but I don't want to see it.

Yeah. Yeah. She says, it's like nails on a chalkboard for me. I hate cardboard. I get that, actually. You just hate, you blanketly hate cardboard. I understand it. It's real papery, you know?

It's bad. I mean, you're not wrong. You're definitely right. I don't like when I have to rip, like when I'm trying to break down a box and it won't break down easily and it rips and you get all that corrugated cardboard in there. I don't like that. Yeah. I think I just have a lot of anger issues, so anytime I can rip anything I'm on board.

I hate styrofoam. Yeah. Oh my God, when it goes, yeah, when you rub on it. Yeah, I have this weird urge. When I'm bringing out of a styrofoam cup, I have like a dark thought. Like, what if I've been into it? It's like biting in a tinfoil. It's like gross to think about.

Ooh, speaking of buying things, Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon created a candy room for their children. That sounds creepy. It had gigantic everything from gigantic lollipops to their very own cotton candy maker. Real candy, not just decorated like candy. The real candy. Like an edible room of candy.

That means they don't spend time with their children because children who eat a lot of candy after they've eaten candy, you don't want to be around them. You want to give them to somebody else. Yeah. Those are the kind of kids that end up having like the short story, Ray Bradbury short story,

the Velt, which I know I've talked about on here way too often, When you've got the fake room and then the kids go inside eventually the kids with their imaginations kill the parents because the parents aren't taking care of them. And I think that next stop for those children is that they're going to get their own belt room. You know what? And I say, go for them. Lady Gaga has a ghost named Ryan haunting her. So she spent $50,000 on an electromagnetic field meter designed to detect poltergeist.

That's such a plain Jane name for a guy. Ghost. Ryan. Ryan, get out of you. Ryan. Ryan, stop booing me. Lady Gaga, my name's Ryan. Ryan.

I'm dead. I very much believe in ghosts, but I don't know if I would name that. Because it's like, that sounds like a name that she gave to them as if she had nothing better to do. You know what I mean? I kind of like it when people, when like dogs have a regular, really regular human name. Like a dog named Ryan. would be kind of fun, you know?

Oh, yeah, sure. I think ghost names. Or waffles. That's the thing. I like a really cutesy name, but also like a normal name, like, you know, Megan or something, is kind of a fun name for a dog. Also fun name for a ghost. Like Georgie.

Georgie. Yeah. Little Georgie, come here, George. George. You're all down here, too, Georgie. Yeah, she's the best. Yeah. Oh, my God, all the dogs are going to meet.

Oh, the dogs are all going to meet this weekend. I got to meet Ben's dog, whose name is. Puffin. Puffin. How could you forget? I'm sorry, it was fast. It was on the stairs. Puffin is breathtaking.

Oh, yes. Puffin is a wonderful little dog. You haven't met George yet, though. I haven't met Georgie yet. Well, Georgie's very shy. Oh, my God. She and Wendy are going to get along so well. I hope so, because sometimes Georgie and Puffin have a little bit of a grumpy old man,

very shy teenage girl thing going on. I feel like that really displays you and Kissel's relationship. There you are you. Also, the idea of a grumpy old man just being like, come here and say hi to me. Which is when I die. Okay. All right. Hi.

But it's more like, hey, you want to hang out? Come on, let's hang out. Come on. Get away from me. Get away from me. I'm going to grab me out and I'm good and ready. I see. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay. All right. See you. See you later. See you later. Bye. Okay.

That's kind of the relationship. Chip the puffin and Georgie have at the moment. That's, oh my God, and then throw Wendy in the mix. And who's Wendy? What kind of person is Wendy? Oh, Wendy. Wendy is a little bit, she's just the cutest little cuddlebug of all time, but also just like, she just has all of our anxieties, and I think it's really, really cute.

And she just, but she just loves to love. And all she wants is to love you so much. And she's so cute. And wait, what's your Georgie voice, Marcus? George Is that how you talk for George Because mine is like Auntie Jackie

Oh don't have another drink It makes me sad when you drink No I don't give a voice to Georgie Oh okay Hey girl Hey little girl Oh Georgie doesn't have You'll find Georgie's voice

It took me several years With my cats to find their voices And now can I do my cat's voices? Please Serafina's voices How dare you? What the fuck? That's like

She's just always like She's always upset. Oh, my God. Yeah, that's her voice. And Manface always refers to himself in the third person. And his voice is like, are you talking about a man face? And if you're talking about Manface, his little tail wiggles and his whole body wiggles, and he's like, ooh, you're going to pet Manface?

That's Manface. And then Therapy is like, oh, my God, how dare you. She just hates everything. It's very, like, revealing. Manface is a lot of fun. Therphine is also a lot of fun. It's just very revealing when you talk about what your animal voices are for when you talk for them

because everyone usually, it's like once you get to know Georgie Moore it's like yeah you're going to have one and then it's just it's just weird. Yeah, and we've only had it for a couple months now so her voice has not made itself known. One day the sentence that she would say if she could speak will come. That's how I found Sarah Fina's voice

is that if she could say one thing, it would be, what the fuck? And then the whole voice will come to you after that. If Georgie could say one thing, it will come to you, what she would say. I think that would be part of it. I was certain blood at home. Oh, we can't say them. I've written about this permanent A-list couple and their uterus factory before.

Ooh. It's further news on Beyonce and Jay-Z's Uterus factory. I remember this. Do we all remember the uterus factory? Yes. Exactly what it sounds like. Sounds like. Jay Z and Beyonce are running a uterus factory for rich Russians to implant in their bodies.

But apparently someone was getting wind of it. So in the last week, they cut some type of deal while overseas that gives them a quote unquote license to continue doing this without fear of any prosecution. Why Russians? Russia's got a lot of money and not a lot of rules when it comes to things like that. Oh, so the uterus factory is in Russia. Maybe. Are they Russian uteruses? No, mostly they sell two Russians or Europeans.

I think they were Russian uteruses, but maybe not. Not sure where the uteruses come from. It's not a well-fleshed-out story. Some might even say it's not true. Hey, Marcus. I'm not certain that the science is there. I'm certain about ripping a uterus out and ramming it into another woman.

I am a little bit uncertain that the assisted reproductive technology is there. There's some fuzzy math here. At the same time, if Jay and Bay were going to pay me the way that Jay and Bay would pay someone for that, ripping out. Shove it in, rip it out, put it in somebody else. Like, I'm not using it.

I feel like the host might reject it, you know. Maybe. Maybe, maybe, could be. What you just have to do is just harvest people. Jesus Christ. I'm saying, like in big egg, like mucus sacks. You know. You're going to be by harvest people.

Like in the Mario movie. What I mean is you just have to get willing people to be surrogates and use the uteruses inside their living bodies. Well, that's what it started off as. It started off as a surrogate business. But then they realized they can make more money selling you. uteruses. I just feel like that is adding an element of uncertainty. Listen, I did IVF to get pregnant and there are so many little things that have to work perfectly in order to get pregnant, despite what they tell you in health class and taking a uterus out of a human body and putting

it into another human's body. Staff versus host, man, you're going to have a whole, you're adding a whole other level of complication. But don't you think that if anyone could do it, it would be Jay and Bay? Well. We've conquered staff versus host. If you'll remember from the last blind item, the donors rarely make more than 500 bucks for the surgery and there is no follow-up care after their discharge from the hospital.

Yikes. $1,000 at most if they dicker a little bit. Meanwhile, there's a lot I would do for $1,000. If you say a surrogate, I think surrogates get paid like $35,000. Yeah, surrogates get paid quite a bit. But there's a whole process with that. With this, you can just go in, get it ripped to. out and be on the road.

Yeah, because with the surrogates, they're like, oh, you can't be mentally ill. I don't get it. Put it in me. I don't want to eat for two. I don't want it. I just want to eat for two. It's more like eating for like 1.3.

Cool. I mean, as long as I'm able to do it and be like, it's for the baby. That's all we got for this week. All righty then. You guys remember his rentura? Thank you guys so much. All righty then.

All righty then. All righty then. Thank you guys so much for listening this week. Why don't you slide on over to our Patreon page if you are ready and willing and slimy and ready for touchies? Patreon.com slash page 7 podcast. On Monday, Molly and I are going to be mystery science, theaters type, watchin.

we got the polls in for our $10 and up patrons and the movie of the month is Twister. So Molly and I are going to be live streaming, us watching Twister. If you'd like to join us, it is just $10 a month to just sign on up, slide on over to us, and then we're going to be doing it every month.

We're going to have our little drunk sleepover parties, and you guys get to vote every month and choose what we watch, and then we will all watch it together. And if you can't tune in on Monday, heck, we're going to slap it up on the internet and you can go watch it at your pleasure. I'm going to come up with a bunch of drunk games.

It's going to be my first time watching Twister. Oh, man. Yeah, man. Yeah, so much fun. Yeah. Dude, I'm going to come up with so many drinking games. Something, I mean, also just immediately get ready because when we see that cow and we see that other cow,

you can bet your butt. bottom dollar, we are drinking those drinks. Jackie, I think that's the same cow. I think that's the same cow. That's special the cow.

Another cow. Molly's never seen Twister before, which is in, you'll know Molly. I can't wait. You guys, I'm finally going to know what the fuck you guys are talking about every summer. I am so excited to watch it. I have not watch it yet this summer. And also, and it's like,

If $10 is too much for you, completely understandable, we are also doing our pretty little liars watching every week, getting that out to you, and things are getting juicy, things are getting spicy, spicy, and boys are getting kissed. Thank you guys. Thank you, guys. Again, that is patreon.com slash page seven podcast, seven the number. My name is Jackie Zabrowski.

You can follow me on Instagram at Jack That Worm. My name is Molly Nethel. I'm MJK Elkhatt. And Marcus Parks on everything. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, noise. Noose. See you next week.