Page 7 - Episode 267: Y'all Got Smote!

Episode Date: August 10, 2018

Jackie, Molly and Marcus discuss a dog's quinceañera, Kathleen Turner's amazing Vulture interview and clap backs. Want even more hot goss? Join our Patreon page! https://www.patreon.com/page7podcast ...Thanks to Care/of for supporting Page 7. For 25% off your first month of personalized care/of vitamins, visit http://takecareof.com and enter promo code page7. Get $10 off your first FabFitFun box at http://fabfitfun.com and use code PAGESEVEN. Cold Funk, Funkorama, Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 This episode of Page 7 is brought to you by Care of, a monthly subscription vitamin service made from effective, quality ingredients personally tailored to your exact needs. For 25% off your first month of personalized care of vitamins, visit Take Care of.com and enter promo code page 7. You're the meaning in my life. You're the inspiration. You bring feeling to my life.
Starting point is 00:00:34 You're the inspiration. I want to have you near me, I want to have you hear me saying, no one song in my head can't get rid of it. Thank you. Sorry, sorry. Thank you. Please. My golf claps.
Starting point is 00:01:01 I, uh, we went to go see ELO this weekend. And it was a very far drive. And on the way back, this woman was just killing it with the Delilah hits. She had a playlist going. And it was everything I wanted it to be in more. And also the concert was insane. Yeah. You know, I thought that you might start off this show by doing,
Starting point is 00:01:21 Hey, there, Delilah, what's it like in New York City? Those idiots. Those rich idiots. Have you heard about this, Marcus? No, I haven't. Oh, they're making a whole show based on that one song. Which I was like, and I listened to the song again today, just to make sure that I hadn't missed something.
Starting point is 00:01:41 Yeah. How the fuck are they going to? to make a whole show. Do know? I guess it's about a long-distance relationship. Yeah, like a whole show. Just say it's a show about a long-distance relationship. But what's it like in New York City?
Starting point is 00:01:54 I feel like that's going to be, it's just giving them so much money. Plain YTs never has to do anything ever again. Yeah, and I assume they already didn't have to do anything ever again. And something I learned today on the way here, Delilah is a real person who wasn't together with that guy. He asked her out. She was like, I'm not interested. I'm with somebody else.
Starting point is 00:02:14 Really? Yeah. She wrote up and she's, I think, an Olympic athlete, or at least she was, uh, what? The article that I read was from like before 2008 and it was like, she's currently training for the Olympics in Beijing. She's, I want the, I want the actually, I want the story from Delilah's perspective. Yeah, but now it just makes it seem creepy, right? Where it's just like, yeah, but what if I, what if I wrote a song about you, girl?
Starting point is 00:02:37 Come on, girl, love me, girl. According to this thing that I read, it was from the Columbia School paper. They went to Columbia together, and he said, when they met, he said, I'm going to write a song about you. And she was like, all right, okay. And the quote from her was, it's kind of funny. I guess it's also kind of sad. The dreams in which she's dying are the best she's ever had.
Starting point is 00:03:02 Yeah, man. Oh, he does the truth. Another, I have to do just a brief check-in from the pop-punk world since last week. week you sang Wheatis. Last night in my house, we somehow got on the subject of Good Charlotte and some 41, and we went down some YouTube memories. And I had forgotten how much I like the song, The Anthem by Good Charlotte. Which one's that one?
Starting point is 00:03:30 I was never a good Charlotte fan. I don't ever want to be you. Don't want to be just like you. Oh, that one. Yeah. It's in the anthem, put your dance up. Yeah. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:03:41 It's so good. Every once in a while, there's, like, we definitely see, even though I'm not that much older than you guys, it's just a few years. You see the difference? I see that, like, that wall. Clear college, I was in high school.
Starting point is 00:03:54 I know because you're, my brother's exact age. Yep. And, yeah, there was a, it was a gulf. It was a generational gulf. Yeah, I never really got into Good Charlotte. Were they a Christian band? I don't think, you might be thinking a P-O-D. Or a Five Iron Frenzy, which is a Scott band.
Starting point is 00:04:09 Oh, oh, that's a Christian Scott. Most of Skye's Christian, right? Or am I just making that up completely? It's just a weird overlap where there's a lot of Christian Skah. And I don't know why. Because it's fun and you can be wholesome and everyone can dance. This was so offensive to me when I was a teen who was like, there's songs about beer and ska.
Starting point is 00:04:31 It's my rebellion. And then there would be all these Christians. But also I really like Christmas carols. And so I would listen to the Christian Sky covers of Christmas carols, which were very good. Attention to detail. Yeah, I was made way more into like that, in the end it doesn't even matter, you know,
Starting point is 00:04:50 just like thinking about, I feel like anything, I was like, oh, is it about like, or might be about suicide or about death? I'll listen to it. Yes, please. That was my rebellion. Yeah, but I did that too. But you never listened to Bright Eyes or anything
Starting point is 00:05:04 or that realm of songs about depression. No, I had a summer of Bright Eyes when I was trying. to date somebody that didn't love me back. And so he would like play me bright-eyed songs. I'm just like, he must be in love with me. He keeps playing the songs to me. That was about him. Yeah, I was about to say, and how long did it take you to realize,
Starting point is 00:05:25 like he just wanted someone to listen to him play guitar? It was a while. No, sometimes he would allow me to sleep with him. And sometimes he would let me sing along with him. So it's kind of like love I one time And this is disturbingly not that long ago I want to say 2011
Starting point is 00:05:51 Went on a couple of dates with someone And we got on the subject of kind of like Embarrassing bands you like And I was like well I'm really obsessed with bright eyes I have been from the beginning And I still am And he was like well that's okay I love you too a lot
Starting point is 00:06:05 That's not bad You two's fine That's fine He, like, was still very into U2, like they were his favorite band, and so we each made each other a CD or a playlist, I guess it must have been at that time. Yeah. With five, I picked my top five bright-eye songs, and he picked his top five U-2 songs, and I never listened to the U-2 songs.
Starting point is 00:06:25 Yeah, you know. Were they, like, U-2B sides, or was it just like Sunday, bloody Sunday? No, no, it was definitely like deep cuts. God, deep cuts, like, yeah, this is when the edge really came into his own. And I just, I got the, I thought it wasn't a sweet idea, and the day it just turned out we were very friendly, but there was not any other chemistry between us. And then I was just like, you know what?
Starting point is 00:06:44 I don't have to listen to this YouTube playlist. I probably should, but I won't. Yeah. I'm proud of you. I've been getting back into making playlists for people, and it's kind of fun. It's really fun. It is.
Starting point is 00:06:55 That was part of mine in Carolina's courtship dance. Oh. It was making playlist for each other like pretty man. We still make playlist for each other. Oh. Yeah. I think it's a lot of fun. The problem is that it's almost too revealing of how.
Starting point is 00:07:08 how you feel about them. You know what I mean? Oh, yeah. Oh, that's part of the point. It's scary. Yes, it's very vulnerable. Yeah, yeah, yeah, because you don't want to go too far. You might, because it might be like,
Starting point is 00:07:19 this is a song that I really love, and I think she's going to really love it as well, but you can't put, like, going to the chapel on the third fucking playlist, you make. No, no, no, no, no. You got to be real careful. I used to, when we were first date and I would obsess over, like,
Starting point is 00:07:33 well, what message is this one sending? What message is this one sending it? It's tricky, though, because like 95% of my favorite songs are about unrequited love. Yeah. So I can't even make a playlist that isn't about how much I love you and you don't love me back. You could start making them, though. Start selling those playlists, you know, get them out there because I still listen to that and just like,
Starting point is 00:07:54 remember that one time when he didn't love me? Which is insane because I'm happy now. Everything's great. Yeah, I'm married and I still am like, pine. after some imaginary feeling of being a teenager liking some boy who doesn't like me back. No, that's why I was listening to Fleetwood Mac earlier and it was like,
Starting point is 00:08:15 and if you don't love me now, you will never love me again. And I just almost started to tear up. And it was like, Jackie, stop. Get it. You're fine. Everything's fine. No, I made a playlist for someone recently
Starting point is 00:08:29 and I put Kimia Dawson's song, I like giants on it. I don't know if you're away, but it's like, you know, it's like, I am grounded, I am humble, I am one. with everything. And I was like, I love that song.
Starting point is 00:08:39 Is it too cutesy? Is it too? I'm fine. Everything's, I'm cool. Kimia Dawson's pretty goddamn cute. I know. You take it back, Marcus.
Starting point is 00:08:50 I know, I'm telling the truth. That's why I sandwiched it. I put Dear Mr. Fantasy next, though, so I felt like that was a good, like, sexy after song. Yeah. Right?
Starting point is 00:09:01 Pallet cleanse. That's pretty jarring, actually. That's what I like about making play. though. I make my playlist to be played on shuffle, but I like a song to come on. You're just like, why did you put this on here? I like the jarring effect. I really like putting at least one super jarring song on there as well. You put them on shuffle though. See, I treat it like a play where it has to. I do it as well, but then like everyone's like the lights go out and something weird happens.
Starting point is 00:09:27 And then the lights come back on. You're like, what was that? But you'll never know. Hell yeah. See, I guess I should do. I should make it more like a story. I threw like a We built this city I put that in there Because that's a fun one Everyone loves that song
Starting point is 00:09:44 Yeah I'll agree Thank you Yes I've just been working on playlist I'm doing that I'm feeling great Especially after seeing ELO with man You know
Starting point is 00:09:53 We got in the car And Henry's like Controversial opinion Could have used more lasers I was like really I saw a picture They he posted It was nothing but lasers
Starting point is 00:10:03 It was chock full of lasers There had to have been 50 lasers in that picture. There were so many lasers. I had a great time. Men, Marcus, I kept thinking about you, though, because they had this string section of all just like goth women covered in tattoos just like, plain and plain and plain.
Starting point is 00:10:26 And they just like, and they kept going close up on them. We were pretty close, but, you know, in the big, like, video screens. And I just kept watching them. It was just like, I was just like, I will have sex with you. Yes, I love like orchestral rock. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I love orchestral rock too.
Starting point is 00:10:43 I'm with you on that one. Dude, see you a low if you get the chance because it was fire. I watched television, like, as a bunch of old men bumble through a set last week, and it was pretty awesome. Oh, yeah, how was your concert? It was pretty great.
Starting point is 00:10:56 Yeah, the drummer's, he's pretty old. But the rest of them still sounded fucking great. Hell yeah. I don't know what. What is that? Tell me, Marcus. Is this a new band? Or I guess it's a familiar.
Starting point is 00:11:10 Television, no. They were one of the, I would hesitate to call them punk, but they were one of the first bands to play at CBGBs back in like, you know, 1975, 1976. Oh, so they're legit old guys now. Yeah, they were like, you know,
Starting point is 00:11:23 a part of like it was television, Ramones, uh, talking heads and blondie that were kind of at the forefront of the whole CBGB scene. But television was like the first, but, Man, are they old? Yeah, that's a problem of trying to, like, get them in before they die.
Starting point is 00:11:40 Yeah. You know, but Jeff Line was, like, killing it, though. He, his hair is dark, and it is fake. Well, I haven't been any concerts lately, but I am bringing a Barry Arita. Barry Arita. Do you mind? May I, may I sample? Oh, please.
Starting point is 00:12:00 All right, we're going to sample this. Tell me what bouquet you find. in the barri arena. It's about six inches from my face and the bouquet is swarming my nose. It's a bit of a punch in the Facebook. It's like being hit over the head with a bouquet by somebody lover who's angry with you.
Starting point is 00:12:18 It smells like that horrible juice that you used to drink out of plastic barrels. Yep, the camp juice, bug juice. Oh, like the show bug juice? Man, they should have kissed more. Remember that, yes. Oh, please. How are you fucking drinking this?
Starting point is 00:12:38 I got a long way to go, too. You got a long way to go. Barry areita. Oh, at least you got the extra free ounce. Oh, man, that is great. It's so big, too. It's so big. And it's not nothing.
Starting point is 00:12:55 It's 8% alcohol. It's more alcoholic than a beer. It tastes like Forloco that's gone bad. It does. It tastes like Forloco that's been sitting out. That's awesome. I'm so proud. It tastes like it should be full of dead mosquitoes.
Starting point is 00:13:08 Well, you know, I had about a good year where I wasn't really drinking at all. And so this is a great way to jump right back in. And you remember, you're like, oh, that's why I wasn't drinking besides the whole baby thing. And, you know, yada, yada, yada. Yeah, because you got a pretty free day today. This is mommy's day out. This is mommy's day out. I've got my little, you know, three to four hour window here where I can have my drink.
Starting point is 00:13:31 And so I have chosen a 25 fluid ounce. scan of Barry Areta and I got no regrets. Hell yeah. I am so proud of you, Molly. I just, I just, I should have gotten one. Also, I have not iced anyone yet and I'm very upset about it. I figured your house would be icing people. I think you live in the type of house where people would just start icing each other. No, the problem is that it's very sugary, you know, and we're all that stuff and it's sad because that's what I want to do. I want to ice. And if I start, ice and that means I'm going to have to drink all the smear and off ice in the house.
Starting point is 00:14:07 You know what you should do? Ooh, this is a million dollar idea. And pull a sharp object, which I just started watching. And then instead of icing each other, it's so good. It's so good. And I want to talk about it. Instead of icing each other, you can just ice each other with a plain sized Tito's vodka. Oh.
Starting point is 00:14:24 I like that. But then you're just taking vodka shots. Yeah, but it's a plain sized one, you know, no bigger than a plain size. All right. I can get into that. What about like a pint? size one. Don't do a pint size one. You guys are going to be in a rough way. Yeah, yeah, every going to be dead. But, man, Wendy would be the ultimate princess over our dead bodies, though.
Starting point is 00:14:47 She'd just like, like, prance up and be like, you're dead, you're dead, you feed me, you'll feed me. Yeah, I don't want to be the cause of your death and then Wendy eating all of you slowly. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. Speaking of dogs, the whole family has dogs now. Welcome Georgie. Welcome, Puffin? Of course, yes, all three of the boys. We all have dogs now. That is, wait, we're talking about Ben Kissel's floofy little thing? Yeah, he got, he kept puffing. I saw that little thing on Instagram and I was like, he didn't. That dog is so cute. So cute. And a little belly, she got a little belly on her too. That belly ain't going away. You know that they go feed that neck. Well, apparently that dog was being fattened up for food for a South Korean dog food. Fetting Festival. Like dog eating festival.
Starting point is 00:15:36 Dog eating old festival. We talked about this on Roundtable years ago. I mean, I'm sure that we did. But you know what years ago, Roundtable? It doesn't stick it. You can't bring up something that came up on Roundtable. That is true.
Starting point is 00:15:54 Sometimes I do forget that I was the only one that stayed sober for like five years throughout that show. Like wasted for the first two. Yeah. But then I was the only sober one for like five, years. Oh yeah, I don't remember any of it. But that's, you know, that's what, it's part of its charm. But that's why I'm glad I sent you this article about a chihuahua. Her name is Lupita, and her Instagram is Lupita Conchita with two A's, and she recently had a canseigneira.
Starting point is 00:16:25 We are slowly segueing from pop culture to just news that makes you feel great. Because you know what? A lot of pop culture is so rife with negative energy right now. I mean, I've got a lot of other things that I'd like to talk about. But when you just look at Lupita Conchita in her little tutu, celebrating a quinceanera, how do you not smile? Actually, and I love the The caption that went along with the picture of her at the Key Sienera.
Starting point is 00:17:00 It's like, get in line to take pictures with dis Burde-Girl Hashtag Oaker. Ocker! O'KR! O'KR! I'll show you the picture, Wally. Oh, Lupita. Look at Lepida.
Starting point is 00:17:16 I love her. I love her. I can't help it. I love a little dog who goes in a bag. Yeah. I love it, and especially when it said the canines in attendance munched on barbecue ribs, Lupita's favorite, which at least suck the sauce off of it. Do you know how much meat I have to suck the sauce off of to give to Wendy?
Starting point is 00:17:37 Every meat has to be sucked on before we give it to her unless we make it ourselves, because they're not supposed to have any spices or anything on it. And I think that barbecue sauce probably isn't good for a dog, right? Yeah, probably not. Can't be. Well, there's, but I've been finding with the dog stuff. There's all sorts of flavors that they have where they say it's barbecue flavored, but it's dog friendly. Uh-huh.
Starting point is 00:18:00 See that? Yeah, because they've got all the doggy ice cream now, too. Nah, but our dog ain't nothing special. She just gets full peanut butter. Hell yeah, good for you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. She gets peanut butter and she get dog food. Yeah, that's what dogs are made for.
Starting point is 00:18:16 Yeah, because it's a dog. Yeah. But look at Lopita. Look at Lopina in her little dress And she's covered in flowers And it makes me so happy So apparently I have been Every time I get drunk
Starting point is 00:18:30 Which I mean I don't realize that I'm doing it every time I talk at Henry and Natalie About Wendy wearing a dress in the wedding And I am very I'm very pro it and I talk about it all the time To the point that Natalie looked up A place And I think that Wendy's gonna wear a two-toe
Starting point is 00:18:50 I think she's going to wear a tattoo because she's walking down the aisle and I can't handle it. I mean, if she's going to walk down the aisle, she has to wear a dress. Yeah, yeah, of course. I mean, she needs the fashion too. We can't be the only ones looking good,
Starting point is 00:19:08 looking special. And she's going to be so cute walking down the aisle. I can't even. I don't think she'll make it down the aisle. But I think that she'll try. My flower girl didn't make it down the aisle either. They don't have to.
Starting point is 00:19:20 No, it's totally fine. Don't worry about it. Yeah, and she's going to be walking with our niece. But if Natalie's behind her, there's no way she's coming down that aisle without her. No. Now. But can you imagine if she held her as she walked? I'm losing my mind.
Starting point is 00:19:35 We're getting into the end of setting up wetting style. And it is, it's getting in there, man. That's the problem with the playlist. Because then I do want to put things like Chapel of Love or just like, We're going to get married. And then he's going to roll. Oh, that ball goes run out the door. But, you know, I'm getting old.
Starting point is 00:19:56 That's fine. Everything's fine. I'm fine. Guys, I'm fine. That's why I got so excited when Kathleen Turner did that interview with a vulture. That interview was fantastic. Dude, did you look up, did you see this huge interview that she did? I did not.
Starting point is 00:20:15 The part where they say, what other emotion drives your art? and she says anger, and they say, what are you angry at? And she says, everything. I really identify with that right now. Oh, wow. She really threw a lot of shade in this. Dude, she, it is, I mean,
Starting point is 00:20:31 you are under the trees in this interview. It's insane. I read the whole thing, top to bottom, and I was just like, Kathleen Turner, I've always loved you, girl, and now I love you even more because I understand anger, just a little bit.
Starting point is 00:20:45 I understand anger. And especially as another deep-throated woman, I have to have always loved Kathleen Turner because she's my inspiration. The song! Get out of my head! Uh-oh, are we on platform 9 and 3 quarters? Because I hear a vitamin strain, a clamoring down the track. That makes absolutely no sense outside of my head, but every time I say vitamins,
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Starting point is 00:22:13 They're not called that. Although I'm pretty good at a dry swallow, Karov also has juice them up and slow them down powder sticks that you can slam with no water necessary. I recently went on this dumb camping trip and thank the load. I had the extra batteries powder because it was a whole-in-one throat style without the need to waste my precious water. For 25% off your first month of personalized care of vitamins,
Starting point is 00:22:40 visit Take Care of.com and enter promo code page 7. That's 25% off your first month of personalized care of vitamins When you go to take care of.com and enter page 7 at checkout But it was a lot of fun because I was talking with Henry about it I was like I forget that Kathleen Turner was such a sex symbol And Henry's like yeah She's Jessica Rabbit I mean I just I never saw her
Starting point is 00:23:07 I mean in things like you know body heat she's Yum yum But in my brain brain, I never thought of her as a sex symbol, which I think is insane because why? Why wouldn't you? Is it the voice? Am I putting myself in a box? I love the voice. I love the voice too.
Starting point is 00:23:25 Yeah, but we always have the most complicated feelings about those towards which we identify. You know, like, if I feel like if there's any pop culture person where I'm like, they remind me a little bit of me. And then I'm like, do I hate them? You know, and it's like a weird reflection about something that's going on internally. Oh yeah, it's like in The Giver. When there's a twin, they throw it down the shoot. Can't have more than one.
Starting point is 00:23:48 Or what do they do? They send it to Paradise. I've been talking about The Giver a lot lately, and I probably got a cool out. I think I just need to read it again, actually. I have not read it since fifth grade, but I loved that book. It holds up. I usually read it like once a year, just because you can read it in an afternoon. Uh-huh.
Starting point is 00:24:05 But one of my favorite parts of the interview is she was talking about doing, she's very good. She made immediate friends with Michael Douglas. and they she was talking about how apparently there was an open to her competition between Michael Douglas, Jack Nicholson, and Warren Beatty because all of them wanted to bang her and all of them were gunning for her. But she was aware of the competition. So she did this, a movie which I looked up and actually it doesn't look very good, even though on paper it sounds like it would be really good. It's called Prisie's Honor. And it's a movie that she did with Jack Nicholson and they were hanging out at Jack Nicholson's place and he was like since Jack Nicholson
Starting point is 00:24:48 knew Warren Beatty wanted to bang her he's like why don't you uh call up Warren and tell him I don't have a corkscrew and she said why and he's like you'll see how fast he gets here and he did and at the end of it which I really really love is that she uh they all were definitely openly trying to bang her but she didn't bang any of them nice she's like yeah they there was a competition about who would get me first, but none of them did, by the way. Why not? Give it up, girl. Yeah, but I feel like, A, she should have banged any of them if she wanted to, but B, isn't it kind of satisfying to be like, I know what you're up to and you're not going to win, you know? And that's my problem is I don't understand that feeling. I don't think I've ever, I think they either didn't want to bang me
Starting point is 00:25:34 or I would just bang them anyway, you know? The options are all include me banging them. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I imagine it would feel really good. Have you guys done that? Denied somebody who wanted to bang you? Yeah. Or three men who all wanted to bang you to same time. I mean, three huge Hollywood.
Starting point is 00:25:53 I mean, not Hollywood names, obviously, but I don't think I've ever done that. Denied someone, you never denied someone who wanted to bang you. You said yes, every time. Is that bad? I think it's whatever you want. It's whatever you want. however you want to live that life.
Starting point is 00:26:13 I think it's like, I think it's like the repercussions of being in high school and being so ugly. You know what I mean? That now it's like, well, if they want it. Yeah. Is this film?
Starting point is 00:26:23 No, I mean, when I was in high school, I was that, I was that, the entire sentence that you just said was me. But, um. You know, Jackie, now that I think about it, not that far behind you.
Starting point is 00:26:39 Right? I'm not a, no, I'm, I can't really. pointed myself as a paragon of virtue in this one. That's the thing because it's like at least it's like well maybe if we banged I would be really interested in them. Yeah, right.
Starting point is 00:26:51 There's that. Oh yeah. I think many of the people have done that. Let's try it out. Let's try it. Not super into it, but may as well, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, never, never happened that way.
Starting point is 00:27:02 Never turned into, never turned into something more. No, you usually understand immediately. Yeah, you usually melted into something much, much less. usually by way of never speaking to them ever again. Interesting, interesting, yes, yes. I'm glad because she went into, she went far into like Peggy Sue got married, which I love that movie.
Starting point is 00:27:27 Great movie. And Nicholas Cage just showed up on set in that character. He chose that character, which is, he was just supposed to play it straight. He was just supposed to be a guy. But then instead, like, he put on the voice. and he did the like, oh, thing. And she was not, like, she's just, the quote is, yeah, he was that asshole.
Starting point is 00:27:52 And then the questioner asked, sorry, Nick Cage or his character. And she just said, listen, I made it work, honey. I love her so much. And I will say that she is one of the few people who can pull off honey. Because that's become such a thing on the internet where people call you honey. And it's almost always so condescending, like, oh, honey. Always condescending. Like, it just immediately makes me discount.
Starting point is 00:28:18 Like, yeah, yeah, yeah. She's one of the few, you've got to have a voice that's like four octaves deeper than mine to pull that off. And there's a way that honey can make you feel really good. Makes you feel great. Like, yes, I will have another biscuit. If someone says, listen, honey. Yeah, and you just melt. And then the rest of the time, people are like, oh, honey, and I want to punch them in the face.
Starting point is 00:28:40 Yeah, you want to just fuck. No, she can definitely pull it off. I don't think that she can do any wrong. And I love that she's very open about a rheumatoid arthritis and that the fact that it really hit her heart in her late 30s. And she's like, it took away half of my time of being a sex symbol, which I never really thought about that, which is, I mean, that's insane. She's like, in your late 30s to your late 40s, she's like, I missed that whole 10 year
Starting point is 00:29:04 chunk because of my arthritis because I was just in so much pain. And she's like, and back then it wasn't the, kind of illness that people saw as an actual illness. Yeah. You know, I feel like, I feel like we're still struggling to get women to still be able to be sexy from late 30s to late 40s. And like, I want them to be, you know, valued that way in a bigger way. But I feel like it's still, there's still like an idea that it's like once you are past
Starting point is 00:29:35 your mid 30s, it's like women are kind of on a general downhill slope where, There's not like a, I mean, maybe I'm wrong, but it seems like there's not exactly like a, like a daddy equivalent for like older women and I always want there to be. It's not a, it's called a melf. It's called a muckoole. I got that milk bunny. I got that, I got that, I got that milk bunny. No, that's the cougar, man. But don't cougar.
Starting point is 00:30:02 I guess like, so I, you know, when I watch Fixer Upper, I just feel like, you know, milf still have to like, they can't really have, it's hard to like have gray and the. Maybe I'm just thinking about this because I'm going gray. Like if you're gray- Oh girl, I am going gray fast. Like if you're gray and a little like your skin is kind of showing your age, I feel like it's, milfs are still so smooth and so beautiful, whereas like men can be all bumpy on their faces and gray is the day is long and still be, you know, kind of valued for their silver foxiness, no?
Starting point is 00:30:36 Give me, give me, give me. I understand where you're coming from, but at the same time, As someone that is getting better looking with age, I feel like that that is getting more common. I don't know if it's just because of like, you know, all the face things and everything that they do. But it's like Amy Adams. Isn't Amy Adams in her 40s on sharp objects?
Starting point is 00:30:56 Even as an alcoholic fuck up, she is hot as hell. No, I think it's totally getting better now. I think because it's like people kind of our age and a little older are like, hey, I'm not going to stop being seen as sexy. But I think that that's really exciting. But I think that in Kathleen Turner's time, it was like still kind of, there was just like a smaller set of like people that age who got to be like super smoke and bang and hot, you know. That is true.
Starting point is 00:31:25 And especially as someone that like essentially was against type for what is sexy because that was still in the age of like that that smoky of a voice was not that sexy yet. They didn't even want her to audition for body heat. And when they brought her in and she nailed it, they were like, oh, okay, she's a sex symbol too. Huh. So, you know, different strokes, different folks. But you know what? Jalo's still popping it. Wow.
Starting point is 00:31:55 Yeah, and I was wondering how old Amy Adams is because she is hot as hell. She's 43. She looks fantastic. Dude, tight. Yeah, very tight. And it's that hair. I just want. Red hair.
Starting point is 00:32:11 I've always wanted red hair and there's only, I have virgin hair, never died. And I feel like at some point when I go really, really gray, that I either want to keep the salt and pepper look because I really do like the salt and pepper look and I think that some people can pull it off. Or I'm just going to bleach it and go red. You know what I mean? Yeah, when I go more gray, I'm going to go platinum. Yeah. Let's be platinum sisters. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:35 I'm going to look like Tilda Switten real creepy. Just creepy and ghostly. You're going to look like that woman from the Matrix. No lady. You're going to look like that woman. Yeah, I'm just going to blend into a white wall, you know, just fade into it. Marcus, are you into the salt and pepper look? I like the salt and pepper look, yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:57 On women? I mean, I'm kind of into anything. Yeah, that's the bit. See, aforementioned conversation. We did have that conversation. Not too long ago. yet the choosiest, like, pickiest man when it comes to those sorts of things. I understand.
Starting point is 00:33:13 No matter what, man. Yeah, and that's a thing. It's something you got to grapple with, though. Is this too old person of a conversation to have? But it's starting to scare me. Yeah, no, I'm like, I knew I was going gray. And then Gideon was like, he was talking about his gray. It came up.
Starting point is 00:33:31 And he, not out of nowhere, but was like, yeah, you got some grays on the back of your head. I hadn't even seen those. I do the ones on the front of my head. And now I can't stop thinking about how many grays must be on the back of my head that I don't even know about. Oh, no, he needs to learn some different words. And those words are, oh, no, you're beautiful. Well, that's what I'm saying.
Starting point is 00:33:52 He does that. You don't need to go into the whole, you know you have something that you don't know about. We're both acknowledging the fact that both of us are significantly grayer now. And so I think it was a fair exchange, but I did not. I did not know about, I didn't even think about what was going on in the back. No, that's my problem. The guy I'm Stupin was like, he was talking about my graze, he likes the graze, and he's like, yeah, and it's like the laugh lines around your eyes, like all of the
Starting point is 00:34:19 gross feet, and he's like, and I was like, why would you bring that up? Why would you ever say that? He's like, no, because you smiled through life. That's what I mean. It's nice. I like them because it looks like, because you smile all the time. It's like, and now I'm just like, I got to put, what do I'm going to start taping up my forehead. I got to do something.
Starting point is 00:34:37 And now I just look at the mirror and I stare at them. I'm just like, you, that one and that one and that one. And every day. And I guess I'm going to stop smiling. And now I'm frown. I'm just going to do stone face. And I got laugh lines, but you know, and I have smiled through life. But you know what my biggest wrinkle is is a frown crease right in between my eyebrows.
Starting point is 00:34:57 It's very prominent. And I guess I must spend a lot of time frowning because it is there. And it's been there for like a decade. Yeah. I would imagine that there's going to be a time pretty soon when you guys are going to say, wow, Marcus lost his hair really fast. Because it is like starting to come out like pretty.
Starting point is 00:35:15 It's sort of like every time I dry my hair, there's like I have to dry my hair last because if I don't, I'll have hair all over my face. Oh no, Marcus. It's like falling. It's all falling out so fast. And like everyone's like, no, no, you can't tell. I can tell.
Starting point is 00:35:32 I got this hair my entire fucking life. I know what it feels like. I know the difference between the sides of my hair because that's what it's always felt like. But the top, the top, there's a lot missing. And it's all gone. It's all going away. I made it to fucking 35 and then finally at 35. It's all going away.
Starting point is 00:35:53 And within like three years, who? Oh, man. I'm going to have to figure something out because I can't wear hats. And I can't be the baby-faced bald guy. Can't be that. My ears are too big. I don't know. I have no idea what I'm going to do.
Starting point is 00:36:09 Because none of the shit works. I can't use any of the shit. No. The shit doesn't work. Yeah, the shit doesn't work. I can't wear hats because then that's going to make me look even weirder. You'll look younger if you wear a hat. I look like a little boy.
Starting point is 00:36:22 I look like a little boy. But instead, I'm just going to look like a little bald bowl. A little boy who just got lice. Yeah. I'm like a little boy who got. who just got lice and mom had to shave his head. Because I'd sit there and like tell myself and say, yeah, if I ever get, if I ever go bald, I can just shave my head and I'm going to look super cool. That's the clear eye way.
Starting point is 00:36:50 No, I'm just going to look like a literal dick. No, you won't. You know what you do, shave off the eyebrows too? You got alopecia. Appapacea on it. I go powder. I go powder. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:02 Maybe you got powers. That would be fun. Maybe, though, I think that when you shave your head, which, because it's the only option, I think. Yeah. I think that maybe you'll look older for the first time. Maybe. Like, distinguished.
Starting point is 00:37:15 Like a cancer patient. No. You know what you need? Cowboy hats. I actually look pretty good in a cowboy hat. You do? I know you do. Yeah, I look pretty good in a cowboy hat.
Starting point is 00:37:26 But I also live in Brooklyn, and I can't be the cowboy hat guy on my block. Yeah. I know where's a cowboy hat. Oh, look, there's cowboy hat guy walking his dog again. Because the other thing is, you know, the thing about men who wear a cowboy hats, they always take them off indoors. That's right.
Starting point is 00:37:41 Because they respect our norms. That's right. Of course you take off your cowboy hat indoors. You wear a cowboy hat indoors. It's disrespectful. What's wrong with you? What's wrong? God, I love a cowboy hat.
Starting point is 00:37:51 Yeah. I love a good cowboy hat too, but I can't be, I can't be cowboy hat. You take off your cowboy hat and you're just wearing like a beanie underneath it, you know. He's always covered just in case. He's got to protect the scalp. Do you have a good shaped head? No. I don't think so.
Starting point is 00:38:07 Because I did shave my head when I was like 11, just because. Yeah, but your head's got to be bigger since then. It's bigger. It's not much bigger. But that's the other thing, too, is I also have an abnormally small head for my body. My body should be much small. My head should be bigger for my body. So I think if I shave my head, I'm going to have peanut head.
Starting point is 00:38:25 I completely understand. That's why I stopped. I grew my hair out because my head is just too small. I just bought kids sunglasses yesterday. and they look perfect and great on me because my head is that small. Yeah, yeah, my head's tiny. Every time we do the stream,
Starting point is 00:38:40 people just love, they just delight in saying, like the adult swim stream, they just delight and saying like, wow, Marcus's head is so tiny. I've never thought of you as somebody with a small head. But it's something that lives in there.
Starting point is 00:38:52 I grew up with Henry Collin me small head. He had put in me at a young age and I've got a small head. And now I can't unsee it. It's forever. Forever I have. have a small head. I don't even know if I actually do. I've never thought of either of you was having
Starting point is 00:39:06 a small head. I've never thought of you having a small head Jackie. I think it was just because like especially when I was bigger my head looked even smaller and you know it's like I was over 300 pounds when I was like 13 so I with short hair too so my head looked really
Starting point is 00:39:22 really small. Yeah I can see that and sunglasses never stay on my head every time I look up if I've got them on the top of my head they fall off the back but Marcus you know what I think you should invest in those um like the silky baby headbands with the tiny bows on it if you shave your head and i think that would look really cute yeah you'll be able to keep it on your head a lot better than a baby can yeah i vet very much well yes i'll get a i'll get a baby tiara
Starting point is 00:39:52 how's about that i'll get a tiara and i'll just wear that around all the time if you want we can get some matching bonnets and we can start wearing bonnets That'd be great. You should embrace it. My sister-in-law has a small head, and whenever we go on vacation, she gets to get the really fun hats from the kids section, you know?
Starting point is 00:40:10 Kids have way more fun hats. Do get fun hats, but I can't be like, I just can't be a hat guy. We're in a hat with like a dinosaur spike going down the back or something, you know. Sounds fun, but I can't be a hat guy. Can you be a dinosaur guy? We did have this conversation on the stream last night.
Starting point is 00:40:26 Really? Yeah, my later career is to be the dinosaur man at the carnival. Well, you can start. by wearing a hat that always has dinosaur spikes on it. I think that's a great idea. Yeah. And eventually, eventually that's how I'll be. I'm on board.
Starting point is 00:40:40 Dinosaur man. Dinosaur man. You can start working at like Universal in the Jurassic Park area. Now it'll be a lot of fun. Now this is carnival. Oh, you want to, you're downgrading. You want to do like, you want to do bottom of the barrel. I'm not, I'm a pro carnival.
Starting point is 00:40:53 You guys know that. I'm definitely pro carnival. But, I mean, there is a great element of, oh, God, I'm about to die. You guys would love it. I went to this place called, it was like, it was a castle mini golf area. So the whole thing was a castle
Starting point is 00:41:09 and it had this like, bo-bo-as-fuck, mini-golf. And it was just mini-golf, a shitty arcade, and batting cages. That's it. Yes. I love those places.
Starting point is 00:41:20 It was the best. It was like $6 for a whole game. Everything was in the shape of a castle, but there was this one, church won. So you had to hit the ball up and you had to hit the ball up
Starting point is 00:41:31 into the church and make a go through the church and it spits out the other side. And I was smited that day by whatever is up there. Whatever's looking down as I made jokes about the church couldn't get the ball through the church. Let that be a lesson to you. That's all I'm saying. That's all I'm saying is I got smit and I hated it and it made me mad. But you know what? Did you get smote? Oh, I got smote. Oh, I got smet. I got smote. I. I. I. I didn't know what to do. It was like, do I drop to my knees and pray like Madonna does? You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:42:10 Yeah, you know what I mean. But also, yeah, Marcus, you should work in a carnival. Cool. I was thinking about it. I think that's great. That's your plan C. Yeah, that's more like plan F. Plan C for carnival, though.
Starting point is 00:42:25 Plan F, C for carnival. No, that's called Plan F for failure. Uh-huh. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. We all have got our failure ways, you know? I'm going to be a hairdresser. I wouldn't be good at it, but I'd be like, because, I mean, hairdressers are artists.
Starting point is 00:42:40 And I feel like I would go in and be like, you know what you need and just go, dang, dang, but I would like tape the scissors to my hands like I'm Edward's scissor hands. And that would be my schick. I think you need a schick, right? To stand out, to stand out in the field? Yeah, it's like that guy, everyone's seen the videos of the guy that cuts hair with flames. You see nothing? I recently saw a video of somebody who cuts hair with an axe.
Starting point is 00:43:05 Oh. See, there you go. You got to have a schick. You do have to have a schick. Yeah. I mean, I'm going to be Edwina. Cutty Hands. Everyone trusts a woman named Edwina.
Starting point is 00:43:19 Oh, yeah. Oh, Mr. Postman, slap my box. Oh, yeah. Is there a fat-fit fun box for me? Yeah, I fit it in the lyrics. Fab Fit Fun is a seasonal subscription box that delivers full-size, fashion, beauty, home fitness, and wellness products. And it's triple the F, and we all know that Moss F is always Mayho or F. It's delivered four times a year for just $49.99 a box.
Starting point is 00:43:48 Mr. Postman going to want to steal this triple Fer because it's chock full-sized goods. No sample sizes. I want no tiny, I want a big thick. Like the full-size vibrating mask I got. Of course, I immediately rubbed myself with it on my eyelashes, please. And it's fun weird.
Starting point is 00:44:10 It's like a sonic boom to my eye curtains. The value is so insane on every box. Mr. Postman is going to be begging to have illegitimate children with you behind your partner's backs. Many products' individual value is more than the entire cost of the box. I don't know how much that R&Co full-size cleaner
Starting point is 00:44:29 I got is, but I know that the one time I spent too much money on my haircut, they use those products. Did I cry about spending that much money on a haircut? You're darned, too. This cleanser is bomb.com, and it makes my face even more lickable than it was in the first place. Smells great. The total retail value of the fall box is over $275. For a $50 box? Yaskwin!
Starting point is 00:44:55 Every box will include glam glow, bubble sheet mask, and a box. beauty blender in pro, original, chill, pop, bubble, glow, royal, apricot, or nude. I'm new to beauty blenders, but I really like lining them up and pretending like they're my little troll dolls. Is that okay? Sign up for fabfitfun.fun.com today to get your fall box. The FabFit Fun Fall box is in limited supply, and these boxes always sell out. Use my code page 7 to get $10 off your first box. Go to fitfabfund.com to sign up and start getting the box for a life. Well, lived.
Starting point is 00:45:34 Use promo code page 7 to get $10 off your first box. That's over $200 for only $39.99. Go to fat,fitfun.com and use my code, page 7 to get $10 off your first. Fab Fit Fun box. Triple the F! It makes me think of, like, in Wiena. Her name was Roe Weena. Mr. Holland's Opus.
Starting point is 00:45:55 Uh, yeah. Weenah! God, I love that movie. Been a while since I think we just got in our bi-yearly Mr. Holland's Opus. Mr. Hollins-Oppes. I'm going to say, how many times
Starting point is 00:46:09 we've talked about Mr. Hollins' opus on this show. I mean, it's a Zabrowski mention. It's a Zabrowski thing. We talk about it all the time. You don't even want to know how much we talk about. Between that and Clifford, it's like, what else do we talk about? Henry and I do talk about other things, I swear.
Starting point is 00:46:25 We just finally learned what clapback What does clapback mean? It's an ass thing, isn't it? No, it's like every time you see people like with the clap emojis in between, it's like a shade thing. Uh-huh. When you like clap at someone. That's super condescending thing?
Starting point is 00:46:38 Yeah. Yes. Like honey? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But instead, Henry has decided what clapbacks mean in our house is that he claps really close to the front of my face and he just goes, clap back bitch!
Starting point is 00:46:51 Clap back bitch! And he's been doing it to me about 20 times to do it. about 20 times a day. And there's no clapback. There's no shade. There's no joke. It's just clap back, bitch. And it's actually kind of fun
Starting point is 00:47:06 because it really wakes you up. So the longer the two of you live together, the more you're devolving back into like 12, 11. Yeah. That's what children do to each other. Oh yeah. I went outside to smoke a cigarette
Starting point is 00:47:20 while we were watching single white female because the scene was too sexy. So that's why. when you know you're really living with mom and dad. You live with mom and dad again. Seen too sexy. Gotta smoke a cigarette. Oh,
Starting point is 00:47:33 gotta get out of here. I'm glad that, you know, me and my brother also live together, but we have, there's like a teeny tiny bathroom in my bedroom so I brush my teeth in there because the sight of all of our sibling conflict
Starting point is 00:47:45 has always been when we were both brushing our teeth. And it's just like a, it's just a time that's just rife with opportunities for fucking with each other. Yeah. Oh, yeah. And so thankfully, we've not reverted back to our childhood cells
Starting point is 00:47:57 because we have separate teeth brushing areas. And when we were kids, my dad used to say, go to your corners. And I feel like the two different bathrooms are our corners. Yeah, that's nice. Yeah. Oh my God. The second you said that,
Starting point is 00:48:09 I just realized, it was like, that's why I don't let anyone brush their teeth next to me. Yeah, because someone's going to fuck with you. Someone's going to splash water really hard in the sink so that it comes back at you or just like. Or hit the toothbrush while it's in your mouth. Hit the toothbrush wall.
Starting point is 00:48:23 If it's in your mouth. Or hit the glass when it's. in your mouth, which is, I mean, not hit the glass, but tilt it up so that it goes into your nose or, like, just gradually, like, inch you out of the sink area entirely. There's just so many things that can be done. John was really good. Very subtle. It was, like, subtle.
Starting point is 00:48:41 All this is a, these are a very, very good thing, ways to fuck with your little sister. Tulting up the glass when I drank milk was his absolute. That still gets me. And it was very gradual, but I was laugh, you know, I thought it was funny too, so I laugh. And then, so you're fucked either way, because even if you are able to avoid the actual tilt, you start laughing and you still get fucking milk up your nose. And it's not funny. It's painful.
Starting point is 00:49:05 It's very painful. It sounds awful. That's fucking awesome. All right. It's time for that. It's having this. Who's on the list? Marcus, got to have that list.
Starting point is 00:49:17 The most enduring celebrity rumors of all time. Ooh. See, man, I was. just looking up, I'm going to guess, I'm throwing it out there, Richard Gere is on the list. Because Richard Gere at 68 years old, his father, he has just sired another child. And I looked up again, which I think another biannual thing of me looking up, it's like, is the gerbil thing true? It's not.
Starting point is 00:49:42 It's number two on the list. And some say that a rival actor started it. What's the, what's the rumor? The rumor is that he stuck a gerbil up his ass for sexual pleasure. Ah. It was Sylvester Stallone that did it. Sylvester Stallone started it, huh? Yeah, he did it decades ago, and he still, like, it still comes up.
Starting point is 00:50:02 It still doesn't do that. Why did he have beef with Richard Geer? I think it was a clapback. Well, Rod Stewart, there was a rumor in the 70s that he had to be rushed to the hospital because he had given 17 blow jobs to 17 sailors, and his stomach needed to be used. pumped for semen. Oh, please. That's awesome.
Starting point is 00:50:30 That's awesome. I remember they said the same thing about Troy Aikman in the 90s. Whoever starts those rumors have never given a low job, though, because if you've ever given a blowjob, you know
Starting point is 00:50:41 the volume you're talking about. Yeah, like, okay, like 17 loads. That's what, half a cup? Yeah, people drink 17 beers in a night. Nobody comes a whole beer, you know? That just don't make any sense. That's the best way, though. I feel like you hit capacity downstairs sometimes,
Starting point is 00:51:00 but I can't imagine upstairs, you know? No, that's just not how it works. I mean, you're not, I wouldn't compare it to a beer necessarily, but you could. How about a bunch of milk? I can take down milk. I can take down some milk. You can take down 17 loads of milk.
Starting point is 00:51:18 Yeah, oh yeah. I have to go to the hospital. Start taking it like shots. I'll be like, yeah, start calling my loads of milk. You'll excuse me, I need to load up. It's also like it's going to digest. Like, why did it have to be? Like, you're not going to overdose on semen.
Starting point is 00:51:34 You just, what, you have a belly ache at worst. At worst, yeah. At worst, you have a belly ache. Whoever started that had not been familiar. Whoever started that was 14 years old. Oh, yeah. But it's still pretty funny. It's still pretty funny.
Starting point is 00:51:48 It's so really funny. You do so many blow jobs. You have to go to the hospital. You get his stomach. Yeah. I just stomach pump, get it out because there's too many. Is this all that? It doesn't even make sense.
Starting point is 00:51:59 You're filled with calm. Oh, man, I just got such a clear window into you as like a 13-year-old. Oh, yeah, man. Just the way you were like, look, you were squared up. You, like, you went to a place. You're so like filled with calm. You squared up and you went into this aggressive pose. Like, watch.
Starting point is 00:52:23 a fucking cheetah about to kill a gazelle in the wild. I know how to bully. Don't worry. That's the first thing I'm going to say to Henry next time I see him. You feel will calm. You got so much coming you. You got to go to the hospital. You're in a hospital.
Starting point is 00:52:42 You got to get pumped. Henry's like, what? You Rod Stewart, bitch. Remember the whole thing that Jamie Lee Curtis was a hermaphrodite. Oh, yeah. That's not true. That was a, that rumor didn't age well. No, it really did not.
Starting point is 00:53:05 And that's the funny thing is that even when I was, because you guys have seen true lies, right? Oh, yes. Jamie Luke Curtis, the scene when she does a dance, so fucking hot, so amazingly hot. I remember when I was a kid being like, is it okay that I'm attracted to this hermaphrodite? Amaphrodite. I mean, yeah, because that's what you all thought. I just, I thought it was truth. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:53:30 Yeah. I thought it was like a fact. I wonder if the origin of that rumor has to do with like instilling trans panic and people. No, not at all. You think this person's so hot? Well, what about this? Not at all. No, no, no.
Starting point is 00:53:41 It was the whole rumor started Janet Lee. Her mother said that it started because they didn't have sonograms back then. So Janet's friend told her to name her kids something that would work with both. genders. Janet is? Yeah, no, Jamie. Oh, Jamie. Oh, Jamie.
Starting point is 00:53:58 Yeah, Jamie Lee. That's the reason. She has an androgynous name and that's why that rumor started. That's what Janet Lee thinks. What a ridiculous origin story. How dare you? Freddie is a little girl right now. And that is what is happening.
Starting point is 00:54:14 Androgynous names are the best. Yeah, I love girls names on boys and boys' names on girls. Well, this was back in like the 50s. It's a girl name. Jamie. Something must be wrong with her. Oh, did you know though there was a rumor that Ben Affleck and Matt Damon were lovers? Well, I mean, watch that tape.
Starting point is 00:54:33 Yeah, but that tape would be so boring. You know? Yeah, actually it would be. Just two generic men making out with each other. It would be boring. I mean, I'd still watch it, definitely. But it would definitely be boring. I don't, you know what, throwing it out there?
Starting point is 00:54:51 Is it Goodwill hunting? Yeah. Is that the thing? Never seen it. It's fine. Really? Yeah. It's pretty good. Is it just fine? It's fine. It's fine. I haven't seen it since then. I think at the time I was like, yeah. And I, now reflecting on it, I'm like, yeah, whatever. It's another one of those movies. Smart boy. It's okay. Everyone freaked out about it at the time. It's like, it's, it's fine. Smart, poor boy, right? Like, that's the thing. Again, a lot of these things don't age well as novel concepts. Yeah, it's really not. And maybe it's because, it's because. so many things were done afterwards that were kind of like it.
Starting point is 00:55:25 But yeah, Goodwill hunting. And it's like, yeah, Robin Williams is great in it. Yes. But, I mean, because that's what I was thinking about. I was watching the Robin Williams doc. And I was just like, I forgot about Goodwill Hunting. Yeah, he's fucking awesome. Wouldn't he nominated for an Oscar for that?
Starting point is 00:55:38 I believe so. Yeah. Poor boys can be smart. Like, also like janitors can be smart. It was kind of one of the big takeaways from Goodwill Hunting. Yeah. It's like, don't judge your book by it's Kevin. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:55:50 Ah, yeah, yeah. I'm into that. But even, I mean, even, back to the hermaphrodite thing. They had, in the last pretty little liars episode we watched, there were hermaphrodite jokes. And that wasn't that long ago. No, but it was long enough ago that they should.
Starting point is 00:56:02 I mean, it was not that long ago, recently enough, they should have known better. But we didn't know better, or people just refused to know better until real recently. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's rough. Here's an old-timey Hollywood rumor. Ooh. That Rock Hudson and Jim Neighbors,
Starting point is 00:56:19 Gomer Pyle, were lovers. That's fun. Yeah. Because Rock Hudson was, like, he did sleep. He was bisexual, right? Like, didn't he sleep with men and women at the time? Yeah, he died of AIDS. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:56:32 He was the first, big celebrity to die of AIDS. And he definitely liked boys and it was definitely closeted, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But it was a, it was an open secret. Mm-hmm. It was, yeah, it was an open Hollywood secret that Rock Hudson was gay. Mm-hmm. Yeah, it's like a genre.
Starting point is 00:56:47 Yeah, yeah, yeah, pretty much. Was Gomer Pyle cute? Oh, I'll. Because Rock Hudson was definitely. cute. Rock Hudson, good lord. Well, it's going like, golly. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:56:58 Boyle. Rock Hudson, you can do better. I mean, I know I would give him a slip for sure. I definitely would. It's a laugh. Yeah, man. I like his little crooked smile. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:57:15 I think it's cute. Art Carney is the goofball from the past that I would want to bone. Art Carney from the honeymooners. Ed Norton. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The big ears and the... Ruth, you know. Oh, yeah, he's got the big old eyes, too.
Starting point is 00:57:31 He kind of looks like Jim Neighbors, though. A little bit. But I just... He's my... He's the gym neighbors of my, you know... Of your loins. Yeah, exactly. Of my loins, thank you.
Starting point is 00:57:42 You should tell that to Gideon. Go home and be like, hey, you're the gym neighbors of my loins. Just want you to know. All right, it's time for blind items. Oh, we can't see him! I don't know if it makes him feel young or what, but this permanent A-list, mostly movie actor,
Starting point is 00:58:03 who is an Academy Award winner slash nominee, and stars in two of the biggest movie franchises of all time, likes to go with when people buy drugs for him. Apparently, he likes to know where they're coming from and who's doing the selling. This is most likely to happen when he is not in L.A. So, if you sell drugs and the actor is coming to your town, don't be shocked if you meet him up close and in person. Keanu Reeves.
Starting point is 00:58:32 No, older, much older. Academy Award winner. Harrison Ford. Yes. Wow. Wow. Very good. Very good.
Starting point is 00:58:40 Very good indeed. Thank you guys. Well, I was just thinking of all the, how many times I had to go to someone's house back in the day to buy drugs and how uncomfortable that situation is. I remember this one man named Yoda and he had a bunny named Butters and Butters would always shit all over my lap. And I imagine Harrison Ford in that situation, him just being like, oh, whoa, oh, oh, oh, is your bunny? Butters. I get the weed. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:59:06 But what kind of drugs is? It's got to be weed, right? It's got to be weed. Yeah, he's too old for Coke. Although there are some dude to do Coke like all the way up until the end. But Harrison Ford's fucking. Oh. I think he's like 75, 80?
Starting point is 00:59:23 He's definitely looking a little bit worked. Yeah. And he's still banging on that old skeleton bones, man. Maybe it is blow cane because, I mean, Colista Flockard still. Put some weight on, girl. She still looks rough. She's just naturally skinny.
Starting point is 00:59:40 Some women are just like that. I know, and I'm sorry. I have always been jealous of the people that are naturally skinny and that comes from a jealousy place and I'm sorry, Marcus is someone that is also naturally skinny. Yes, I am, thank you. I apologize to you. I've always been mad about it.
Starting point is 00:59:54 That's a deep-seated anger that there's no reason for it. Just because just because you're skinny, doesn't mean I'm too fat. Everything's bad. We can form alliances. Can we? Can we? Can we be friends? We can.
Starting point is 01:00:11 I'm just going to start watching you eat. That's how we're going to be friends. Like, eat this for me. Eat this for me, Marcus. Come on, eat this for me. I bet you don't gain no weight. I will eventually. I know.
Starting point is 01:00:22 I'm proud of you. I'm proud of your thin build. I'm proud of your build as well. Thank you very much. You can call me thick with two C's. Does that stand for something? Someone called me a thick girl recently. And I was like, am I supposed to be offended by that?
Starting point is 01:00:36 No, no, no, no, it's great. It's a compliment. It's a fun thing, yeah. Okay, it's a nice thing. Thick, yeah. Then you're supposed to say like, Thu-Hugh. Yeah, I learned this from my eighth graders years ago,
Starting point is 01:00:46 who were ahead of the curve. Yeah, they have to say it like that? The thielk. Yeah, I had a kid who identified his thook and he loved it. He always said it like that. It's a compliment. It's something to be very proud of. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:00:58 Okay, I'll take it as a compliment because at a time he was just like, hey, you know, hey, you're a thick girl. And I was like, hmm. Yeah, I am. Yeah, I know I am. Thank you. Next up. Apparently, as a reward for contributing so much money and for bringing so much attention
Starting point is 01:01:16 to the cause, this closeted A-list must. mostly television actress from a very hit almost television show and was also in a very hit cable television show, will be allowed to live with her longtime girlfriend and will not be forced to get a beard. As a part of the deal, she won't have to even pretend she is dating men or answer any boyfriend questions or any other ridiculous love life question. So I'm sorry, she was on HBO? No, AMC. AMC.
Starting point is 01:01:53 And her big current hit is on Hulu. It's on Hulu. Wait a minute, don't tell me. And she's a part of a, she was, I believe, born into it. Oh, fucking Elizabeth, what's her name? Moss. Yeah. Whoa!
Starting point is 01:02:12 She's getting what John Traub was never able to get. Whoa. Oh, how though? Scientology, I thought they zapped the gay out of you. I guess with her, they're giving her an exception. She's like the best face of Scientology right now. She's like a million times because everybody loves the handmade stale. P.S.
Starting point is 01:02:32 It's too close to dystopian to be sciat. For her to be a Scientologist, it's really weird. Yeah, it's really weird. Yeah, she doesn't. She seems to have a pretty solid cognitive dissonance going on. Yeah. I mean, it's why I had to stop watching the show. I was getting too scared about my real life.
Starting point is 01:02:46 I was like, can you imagine just showing up? And it's like, oh, all of my money I can't get to anymore because I have a vagina. And that is like, because I read it as the first season came out. And I was just like, I don't think I can follow this. No, I stopped my chest. I stopped in episode three of season one. There is a specific scene where a protest is happening. And I had to stop and I've never gone back because it was like too traumatizing to watch and I just can't do it.
Starting point is 01:03:12 Very upsetting. But then it makes, I mean, how are they going to, how, though? Like, I don't get, I don't get how Scientology works. How are they able to just, like, choose this one and be like, this one? Is it just because they have all the money? Yeah, they don't have any moral consistency. No, none whatsoever. No, they can pretzel around this to whoever.
Starting point is 01:03:34 But that's the other thing is that the rank and file, like, don't even know about all this. Like, it's not like they're doing press releases. It's like, oh, Elizabeth Moss, she's going to get to be gay. But on the download. Yeah, that's true. But they are against anything that's not like a heteronormative tendency, right? Yeah. That's why Jean-Tra is in this prison forever.
Starting point is 01:03:55 Mm-hmm. Yeah, that's why he's in his own prison. Hoo! Everything's going to be great. Handmaid's tale, why you do? I'm proud of her, though. Good for her. I wonder who she's going to choose.
Starting point is 01:04:11 I'm, oh, choose me. I'll do it. Let me do it. I think that she is gorgeous and you know what. Yeah, you were born into it. So maybe she ain't as cray. She didn't choose it. You know who I want her to choose?
Starting point is 01:04:22 Because I'm still thinking about Mad Men is Joan. Oh, yeah. Bucksum Joan? Yes. She's my favorite Bucksum Joan. If we're picking Mad Men, ladies, I'm going to go with Megan. Really? Yeah, later on.
Starting point is 01:04:39 Later on. She's more my type. Yeah. Is she another redhead? No, she's brunette. Slender. A little slender, Runeette, but I like... Later seasons.
Starting point is 01:04:49 I like, true. Okay. Let's think about him kissing. Just for a second. And finally, this former A-list movie and TV actress, who was in one of my favorite TV shows of all time, from back in the day, who had a series of high-profile romances before dropping down the list, like a rock, was caught smoking a rock behind a growing. grocery store in West Hollywood. Good simile blind item. Yeah, that was nice.
Starting point is 01:05:21 That's really good, blind items, it's really good. When I say one of my favorite, I do mean me personally. You're not the blind item right. One of my favorite shows of all time. And one of Henry's favorite shows of all time, too. She got a warning when the police officer recognized her, which had to be the first in a long time. I'm going to guess the show was Twin Peaks.
Starting point is 01:05:42 You are correct? It's not madma-patchit, is it? No, of course not. Okay, good. All right. It hurts my chest. I got really scared. No, if Alice Cooper, as she's most recently known as, got caught smoking a crack rock behind a grocery store, we would know about that.
Starting point is 01:06:01 We would have heard about it. We would have heard about it. Yep. She is looking rough, dude. She's looking pretty, well, she, was she hit, she hit the skids pretty hard. Yeah, because didn't she bough Jack Nicholson for a while, right? Wasn't that the thing? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think that's what it was. But she hit the skids in like just a general, like just a general way. She was apparently very difficult. Well, yeah, and also it's like the practice can only get you so far. You know, I loved the practice. But she's another like Colissa Flokart type that I feel like she just, she just, she wasn't good enough to keep it going. And that's a horrible, that's, I'm sorry, controversial opinion. But it.
Starting point is 01:06:42 She just didn't have it. She wasn't specie spicy enough. She needed more of an it factor. Yeah. She needed to be in Far Walk with me. Yeah, you know, what are you going to do? Now she's too busy smoking crack behind a grocery store. If there's a place for you to smoke crack,
Starting point is 01:07:02 it's definitely behind a grocery store. In West Hollywood. Go-for-ha. No, it's not a good-for-ha. It shouldn't be a good-for-ha. She shouldn't be smoking crack. We're whacked. It's whack. It's whack. We're whack against crack.
Starting point is 01:07:15 All right. We're whack against crack. And that's the last word for today's episode. We're whack against crack. Thanks everyone for listening. Thank you guys so much for listening to this week's episode. If you would love to hit us up on patreon.com slash page seven podcast. That is seven the number. We are releasing our pretty little liars episodes every week. We are having a blast. We Kathy Lee and Hoda the fuck out of the episode yesterday because it was very early for me. And, you know, Molly doesn't sleep. She's a mother of a newborn. My name is Jackie Zabrowski. You can follow me on Instagram at Jack That Worm. My name is Molly Nethul. I'm on Instagram at MJK. Elk. And honestly, if you're a
Starting point is 01:07:57 producer for Kathy Leon Hoda, those bitches have to retire at some point. And you know that me and Jackie got to take their place. We would kill it. We would kill it so hard. It just upsets me that we're not on that wait list yet. Get the millennials. Bring the Millenials. We'll bring the millennial. That's what I'm saying. You want to talk about good Charlotte? We'll talk about good Charlotte. And we'll drink wine every day. And I'm Marcus Parks for everything. Thank you guys so much for tuning in and we'll see you next week. Goodbye. Bye. Me. Me.

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