Page 7 - Episode 268: Pizzle Sticks

Episode Date: August 30, 2018

Jackie, Molly and Marcus discuss doggie treats, getting drunk at the mall and mopey movies. Want even more hot goss and access to Jackie and Molly's movie club? Support us on Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/page7podcast Get $10 off your first box at http://fabfitfun.com with promo code: pageseven Too Cool, Zig Zag, Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/ Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

I'm gonna suck up the sun. Yeah, it's in my head. You really did a Marilyn Monroe version of that. It's the last week of official summer kind of. So screw it, right guys? I am a little bit, you know. Are you upset? Turned on.

No, it was. You said you're turned on? You were really seductive when you sang that. Oh, thanks, guys. Well, I didn't, I mean, Mark, you feel was I seductive? Ah. What is that?

What do you mean? What I can't be seductive? I can't be a woman in heat? Yeah, of course you can. But am I the man that you are heating towards? No, no. Then we're all good here.

It's great. You're more of an otter for me. And you know, I'm a daddy's girl. Man, I almost bought a shirt yesterday that just said baby girl on it. It was at Fashion Nova. My besties in town, and we went to Fashion Nova yesterday, which is Cardi B's fashion line.

And it is... They have a flagship store? Oh, yeah, baby. And we went, and it is trashy. And I love it. Is there one in New York? I want to go. I'm sure there's got to be one in New York.

There's got to be one in New York. But Fashion Nova is insane. It is... It was a little too... I don't have the body for it. I will put it like that. Well, Jackie, you mentioned last few days of summer, and if I may, I have not yet tried it because I wanted to be authentic and try it whilst recording. I'm so excited.

My summer themed drink, one of the lesser-known flavors of the Rita genre, which is grapefruit Rita. And the same alcohol content as before. They couldn't even come up with like a catchy name for it? Yeah, all the ones I've had have not even had fun names. I had grape areita and grapefruit Rita. and I just want to, you know, have a genuine experience. I'm really proud of you. I see, I'm not a grapefruit fan, but so please.

May I? Delicious. Do you mean it's grapefruit? That's grapefruit. That tastes like grapefruit. The flavor scientists at Bud Light. They know what they're doing. You know, I'm also not a fan of grapefruit, but I got to say I like it better than the other one.

It's pretty good, right? The other one was just straight up purple flavor. Yeah. Well, I like the great barita. The great barita is kind of fun. It makes me think a Diamond Tap, and you know how much I love Diamond Tap. But that's what I mean, purple flavor. It's Dimitap.

It's Robitussin. It's, you know, children's Tylenol. It's purple lollipops. I lied to my mother for so long about having headaches when I was a kid just so I could just slam those children's Tylenols. I did that too. I'm so glad I'm not the only one who did that. You too?

That was just a thing. That was just the thing everybody did? Oh yeah, that was totally a thing. Yeah, we all faked shit for a dime a tap. Oh, see, I thought that there was something psychologically wrong with me for doing that. Me too. No, no, no, no. A lot of us did that.

Oh, good. That actually does make me feel better because I feel like that's something that I've been ashamed of for a really long time because it's like, have I just been an addict forever? Me too, that's exactly how I feel. Like, I obviously like substances. But it wasn't that. It wasn't like the sweet, sweet Tylenol feeling. It was the cherry flavor.

Oh, see, I always got the grape ones, but I did like the Fruit Punch ones as well. Fruit Punch is a trash flavor. Wait, so you had a cherry one? See, I always went for grape. Yeah, grape was good, but cherry, I had cherry, but fruit punch is, no, like Hawaiian Punch and those types of things. That flavor, high sea, it doesn't have a flavor. I need like that pure cherry or pure grape goodness.

But what about the ectoplasm one? Pardon? They brought the high sea that they used to have that was lime green that was for slimer. Yeah, ecto cooler. Ecto cooler. I missed Ecto cooler. Yo, dude, Ecto cooler was the best. Yeah, because Ecto cooler also had a sister product that was slimer toothpaste that tasted beautiful.

Really? Yeah. Man, I was obsessed with anything that was slimer. I had a bunch of slimer shirts. I had a slimer little, like, doll, like, what are they called? Action figure? No, it was a squish. Like a plushy.

A plushy thing. A plushy. A bit of a plush. That was a bit of a blush. I was a hell out of that. But also, I will say that maybe slimer toothpaste is a little gross. Is that gross? Oh, my God.

One time I was at a family member's house and there was kids there and I had forgotten my adult travel-sized toothpaste. And so I used the children's toothpaste. And it is a waking nightmare. Never ever used to them. Usually they're bubble gum flavor too. That's disgusting. It's a horror show. I don't know why we do this to the children.

I know the children like it, but it is never, ever, ever use children's toothpaste. It is, I mean, and I like candy still. I like sugar. I like all those. I'm drinking a fucking grapefruit reader right now, but the children's toothpaste is a real, real shit show. Yeah, slimer toothpaste came in four flavors.

Mint gel. Okay. Bubble gum gel. God, bubble gum. Watermelon gel. and the best, naturally, grape. Grape and watermelon, I would try. Yeah.

I would definitely try, but I feel like my teeth wouldn't be clean afterwards. No, you would not feel like it. They weren't. No, they absolutely weren't. It's quite possible the root of my tooth problems that continue to this day. Man, I had such an issue. Wendy's toothpaste is in the bathroom that is in my bathroom. And I have definitely been drunk at night going to brush my teeth. and then I start brushing my teeth and it's meat-flavored toothpaste and I was just like, oh no.

You actually did it? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's been multiple times. It's the same size as my toothpaste and it's next to my toothpaste and I'm a monster. And man, it is a like, wow, it comes back out pretty fast. See, that's like a drunk fear I have, but never a drunk reality. just keep the puppy toothpaste out of the bathroom. You'd think that after the first time you did it, you would have moved it.

Right, yeah. Well, I've also almost bought her. They've got puppy ice cream now that's like they either have peanut butter, they also have meat-flavored puppy ice cream. And it's like, I mean, I'd try it, right? Yeah, we feed Georgie these little, like, peanut butter cookies, like we break them and use them for like training and stuff like that because they're the sweetest thing and she loves sugar.

But I keep putting it close to my mouth and I almost put the cookie in just to see. Just to see what it's all about. It can't be that bad. You don't need, and also you don't need puppy ice cream. You just put some peanut butter on a spoon and leave it on the floor and she'll be at it for hours. When I was in high school, I was a vegan and I, My dog had began strips, and I never actually ate them, but I was curious because I did miss bacon quite a lot. Did you think that that was like a way you could like cheat and it would be okay because it was for the dog?

Yeah, I guess come to think of it, Began strips almost certainly not vegan. It's got to have at least a meat product in it, right? But you could kind of justify it to yourself like, okay, well, a dog has to eat meat. So if I'm eating it, then I'm not actually hurting anything because the dog needs to eat it. He's already been bought. I never actually tried the Began strips. But they smell, you know, medium to good. They don't smell like bacon, though.

It's a very different smell. Yeah, they smell like if you were to make the smell of pork into a perfume, like a distilled perfume. It smells like that. I would wear it hands down. I love smelling like meat. And that's a great smell. I love the smell of dog treats.

Just dog treats in general? Just in general, yeah, like the chewy toys, the rinds, oh, those things smell so good. The bull penises? I suppose. They could be bull penises? Like, you know, the skin, like the pig skin, the cracklins that you give to the dogs. There's the cracklins, but there's also the bully sticks, which are bull penises, as I understand. Really?

That's what I, unless that's an urban legend, everyone I know is a dog owner is like, I love to give my dog bull penises. And the dogs love them, and they turn so slimy and wet. So what? They're just out there castrate in the? bulls making sure they don't juice on on their steers anymore they must I mean bully sticks are so common I hope they're not all bull penises because it would really be a bull genocide they absolutely are they are but that's the thing is that you know I would I would actually say like kudos to the slaughterhouse folk on this one

like using all the parts of the animal yeah that's true yeah that's what yeah they're also called pizzle sticks oh yeah yeah you put your pizzle stick up on my swizzle you know what I'm Give me, gimme that squirt. Give me that squirt. Oh, I'm never going to start calling a penis a pizzle stick, though. I don't think that I should. Oh, my pizzle stick is here.

It's hard. Is it a pizzle stick hard for me? It's in the room. Oh, God. It's just, oh, that whiny voice, too. Who gets me going, Marcus? You better watch out. Uh-oh, I'm in trubs over here.

Pizzle sticks, by the way, high in calories. Not too good for your dog. Interesting. I mean, I guess all the calories are stored in the penis. As Doug owner, I'm just telling everyone, you know, just watch out for the calorie intake on your little pup. Nutrient dense penis. Yeah, but yeah, what is it? What's got electrolytes in it?

I don't understand. How is it so full of calories? Is it just fatty? It's fatty, yeah. Muscle? Is there a muscle in the penis? It's more of a sack, a flaccid sack. Oh, a fleshy flaccid sack.

Use all that bowl. I'm actually not quite sure of the physiology of the penis, but that's how I imagine it to be. Yeah, I know there's not a bone in it. We all learned that in middle school. But it's it, it is muscle though, right? Isn't that how it goes flop, flop, flop, hard, hard, hello, hello?

I think that's blood because it's not a, you can't flex your, Penis, can you? Yeah. You can't. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. But that's, yeah, I don't know if, like, you're actually controlling, like, blood flow into it, because you can make it, you know, you can make it dance.

Can you flex your penis right now? Yeah, it just did. Really? Yeah. Is it like cagels? Yeah, it's probably like cagels. Yeah, it's the same muscle. I'm doing mine.

Yeah. And the thing about cagels is anytime anyone says the word cagels, everyone with a vagina in the starts doing cagels. You have to, it's just a reflex. Yeah, it's the, what is it, the grondel? You know, it's the pelvic floor. It's that same muscle. Oh, yeah, of course guys can do it.

Man, I wish I had a dick sometimes. They're really fun. Highly inconvenient. Yeah, but fun. Yeah, but you don't get the top chest mountains. Yeah, I got nothing. Yeah. Got nothing there.

Like the ones I get to play with. Yeah. Playing with them right now. Yeah, no one can stop me. Yeah. No one can stop me. I'm touching them right now. I'm touching them in my new Hot Topic shirt.

guys, I will say I've not been a little cocktail drunk at the mall in a very, very long time. And sometimes you've got to slap a basic bitch on there and I spent way too much money on Riverdale paraphernalia at the hot topic. Man, you have so much fun, Jackie. I just think that your life sounds so fun.

Just getting drunk and going to the mall sounds like a pleasure right now. You ever done it, Molly? You know, I didn't drink in high school. You don't have to be in high school to get drunk at the mall. It's true. But that's where most of my mall hours are, you know, on the graph. They're concentrated in high school.

And I don't know if I've been drunk at the ball, but it sounds great. Yeah, I was drunk at the mall in college a fair amount of times. Oh, yeah. Because there's those little, like, pubs in the mall. Like, and both the mall in Lubbock and the mall in Abilene, where I grew, you know, near where I grew up. What a missed opportunity because I went to college in the Twin Cities and I could have gotten drunk and gone to the Mall of America. You get drunk at the Mall of America.

Yeah. Like you get drunk at the mall and then you go wandering around. But you're under 21, so you get drunk with like a road soda. No, you're over 21 because that's the thing. You get drunk in the bar. Yeah. Oh, yeah, I see. Yeah.

Because that's what we did. Because that's what we did. I think that I really have been living a shit life up until this point. Well, that's the thing. I mean, now that you got a kid, you got to wait another, what, 18 years to get drunk at the mall? Oh, no. She'll be 10 and I'll be 10 and I'll. be drunk at the mall.

You go look. You go look, Mommy will be here. Yeah, you drop her at the Clare's. She'll be fine. She'll be looking at everything. You know, it's going to be great. I think what the key is, which I really found yesterday, is you do the first sweep sober of the mall.

And you talk to yourself and you're like, oh, I shouldn't spend money on this. Oh, I shouldn't get this. And then you get a couple of cocktails in it. And you're like, I have to have this Riverdale tea that says, I thought you liked me reckless. on it. Is it, see, when I saw that tea, I wasn't sure if it was Wiggins or Jughead. That's the, that's the point in which my brain is now, trying to sort through all this. Yeah, because it could

be, I thought you liked me reckless. It could definitely be that, yeah. Or it could be like, I thought you liked me reckless, which is, which is obviously Jughead. Yeah, I got to keep, I mean, I've got to keep my Jughead love alive in this sad interim time before Riverdale comes back out again. And I think I needed that. I also bought a great mesh that's covered in skulls. Yeah. I'm living my 15-year-old dreams out as a 31-year-old. Jackie, I'm just going to put this out into the universe, and it's no presh. But I've been having a hard time feeling excited about anything I wear lately because my body has changed so much in the last year that I don't own any clothes that fit me well, and I don't have any time to go shopping. And so I'm trying to, like, juice up my

my wardrobe. So if you ever find like a fun mesh that is really, you know, I don't know, has Gene Kelly on it or something, you should just send it my way. Yeah, Jackie, if you ever run across any of that tap dancing mesh. Oh, yeah,

oh, there's so many classic movie meshes. I can't even I think about you every time I see it, Molly. And I'm just like, look at that bitch with an umbrella dancing with a penguin on that mesh. It's just a chaplain mesh, you know, just Just ask me for my addie and I'll give it to you.

All right, that's great. Yeah, no, I'm going to start sending you mesh, Molly. Would you rock mesh if I sent you mesh? I think I could rock mesh. You could. You've got me into muscle teas, like cutting off the shirts of, cutting off the sleeves of shirts that don't fit you correctly, and then suddenly they fit you correctly.

And so it's changed my life. And so I think that I want to follow in your stead. That and also I learned how to make everything into a crop top that ties in the front on your T-shirts. and I've been doing a lot of that as well. I highly recommend it. Oh, yes, Carolyn is very fond of the crop top out of the man t-shirt as well.

I love how in crop tops are, but four months out of pregnancy, I'm not quite confident enough to wear a crop top. That's why you just get the high-waisted. I've got like the skirt that I wear at my proper waist, and then it's great. So the crop meets the skirt. That sounds good, although I like to wear my pants low,

like a teenager from the late 90s. Really like a low rise. Dude, I wish I... See, I can't rock a low rise. Marcus, do you want? I wear high-waisted everything. No, I wear just pretty much regular, regular size on the waist. Yeah, yeah.

I'm a pretty regular boy on that one. I'm a traditional wasted man. I am traditional wasted, yes. Yes, yes, yes. I don't like my pants to sack. It's very uncomfortable for me. Mm-hmm. Yeah, but you got the ass, though.

The ass holds it up. Maybe that's why. Yeah, oh, no, the ass holds it up. If you sag, your ass would be constricted. Yeah, yeah, ass is very constricted. Nothing really feels right. Crotch is too low. I don't like it.

Jackie, so the shirt, it says, I thought you liked me dark, right? I thought you liked me reckless. I thought you liked me reckless, and that's a jughead quote. Yes. Then why is there a football helmet? That's why I thought it was rigged. It's his hat. Look it.

Oh, it's jugged. Wait. Oh, it's a motorcycle helmet. with the hat. Okay. With the crown on it. It's a motorcycle helmet with the crown on it.

Because he rides the motorcycle. Does he wear a helmet? But that's the thing. He never wears the helmet. I know because his hair is so sexy. This shirt doesn't make any sense. That's why I thought it was Riggins because it was a football helmet.

This shirt is poorly thought through. Well, I got it for free. And I was just going to get the shirt that just had a sexy picture of Jughead on it. And I was like, if I am a 31 year old wearing a sexy, teen on my shirt.

I feel like that's too far. He's not a sexy teen. He's a sexy 20 something. Yeah, he's a sexy 20 something, but definitely was a famous child. Well, we were all there. It's all very strange.

But he is in his 20s. Yeah. But I also did at Hot Topic get a tie-up crop top corset tank as well. I'm really leading into 90s goth because I wasn't able to do that. as a teen and I think that I'm living my best 14 year old life guys.

Yeah, I think you're in an early 30s Renaissance to be honest. I think it could also be considered like some sort of like mental breakdown. But I think that Renaissance is a great word for it. I'm going through my own Renaissance right now. We're all in a Renaissance. Yeah, I would say light Renaissance at the moment. Light, very light. Yeah, light.

Are you going to change any fashion things, Marcus? I've been wearing pants that aren't all jeans lately. That's a big man step. I've been wearing gray pants. Like chinos? Not necessarily chinos. Well, there's still somewhat jeans, but they are different colors. They're not blue.

They're not blue. Yeah, yeah. And I've been wearing a lot more shorts this summer of different colors. Have you been calling them a pant like tan wood instead of pants? A pant. I've got a gray pant. I love tan. I love tan so much.

I would never, ever say a pant. You could say, Carolina, pass me my gray pant. Pant, I need my pant. I just imagine you'd have a revolving thing of pant, you know, for you. With this shirt, a gray pant would go best. I think I would be met with, I would say an incredulous, what the fuck did you just say? My pant, Carolina, my pant. Please.

What is wrong with? me referring to my trousers as my pant. Tan says trousers a lot too. It's delightful. For him to say it is delightful, yes. It works for him. Yeah, for me to say it is not, give me my pant. Yeah, but, Molly, is it definitely delightful?

I don't know. Did you see the weird sci-fi implants that Tan got on his neck? What? Dude, there is this whole, I don't know how I feel. about all of it. It's a, it's, it's a thing, it's an installation by this guy named Simon Huck that they're doing in New York. And so Kim Kardashian, Chrissy Teigen, and Tan, all three showed their stuff on

Instagram of their sci-fi like body, like body, what is it called? Body, body, body modification. Body modifications. But is it like makeup? No, it's, I think it's on top of their skin and then they put like fake, uh, faux skin over it to make it look like they put it into it. into their actual skin. Okay.

So it's like, but what's the point? What's the purpose? It's this whole installation of this dude. It's like the museum of ice cream or like the selfie museum that this guy is doing about future body modifications. And the one that Kim Kardashian just put up yesterday is this alien necklace that she's got around her neck that glows to her heartbeat when it's like when the lights are out. I think it's kind of neat to be honest.

Marcus just showed me Christy Teigen, Tann, and Kim Kardashian And I think that I think they're all kind of neat You know, I'm going to go ahead and say That, I would say The coolest one is Andrea Pidjik She's got horns coming out of her shoulders

Yeah, that one's pretty cool And it's pretty fucking awesome I don't know why, but I look at it And maybe it was just too hungover When I first saw it, but like, I wanted to throw up It really grossed me out Tans is gross Tans is really gross

and it looks like a big Victorian-type collar with crystals coming out of it? It does. It looks like a Victorian collar made out of vaginas. Yes, yes, it does. Out of pussy lips, out of shaved pussy lips. It also reminds me a little bit of the shape of water. Yeah, a little bit.

Like, it looks like something that Elizabeth Bathory would wear. Yeah, but that's why I think it's kind of neat. It just seems like a, I don't know, I guess I follow a lot of makeup artists on Instagram because I feel like that they do cool shit. And this just seems like a cool makeup thing, basically. The Chrissy Teague one is really fucking awesome too.

It's a really cool art installation, I'd say. I kind of like it. I think I might like it. Yeah, I think I might like it too. Except the Kim Kardashian one, I've got to admit, little trashy. I don't know. I like, I like, I like that one. I want that glowie one.

I want that glowie one. Give me the glow stick one. Glow stick just right into my collarbone. Well, I mean, speaking of like, yeah, 14-year-old Goth, I'm like, I want the horns. Yeah. The horns are like super cool. I do I dig it because it's like the whole idea of the installation that you can actually go to in New York where there's a whole other like it's all these different kinds of sci-fi body like future body-con things it's about how you like represent yourself especially with social media and how eventually like fashion is going to only go so far before body modifications get to this point that it's not just like boom jobs and no jobs anymore but it's making yourself extra for fashion and how you see. see yourself and how you want to be portrayed to society.

Well, people have been doing this for decades now. I mean, yeah. Yeah, there's been dudes getting like the little nubs put in, guys getting their tongues slit in the middle. Slice. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, there's been people doing it. Like, there's the guy that made himself look like a cat. You've seen Catman, right?

I've seen Catman. Oh, I've seen Catman. And the guy that made himself, like, the girl and the dude that made themselves look like Barbie and Ken, but really they just like Bratstalls. Yeah, they were Bratstalls. Yeah. I mean, this is really cool. I mean, this is definitely taking it to the next level, which is pretty awesome.

But it's not, I wouldn't say anything new. No, it's just really beautiful. And I think that it is elegant, but I don't know why there's just part of me that it makes me, it really grosses me out. I think it's just because they do such a great job with it. Well, also, Tan is so, I think particularly with Tan, he is such a, like, I feel like his role on queer eyes to be like so, not normal. in a derogatory way,

but he's just kind of like such a like, just like a sensible, like he's like, he's not sensible. He calls pants a pant. He does call pants a pant. No, no,

it's a French tuck, baby. No, it's not just a shoving your shirt in the front of your pants. It's not, it's a French tuck. Come on.

He's like such a, yeah, he's just kind of like a, you know, he just takes you to a banana republic and makes you look great. But like he's, you know,

and he always is like, I just finished season two, but he's always like, you know, I don't even know, gay people. I'm like, I don't know any trans people. I'm like, I'm barely even part of the queer community. And I like love it so much and I wasn't part of it for so long. And I think Tan is so interesting. And so there's, but, but he's also such like, he's like kind of not

the most out there of the five. And so to see him with, with like, you know, a kind of out there. Yeah, flare is a little bit of a change for him. And I just, I, I, I went down this like weird whole also of different kind of body modifications because I watched a lot of videos of dudes that have the the tongue slice to get the, or like, or people that get the tongue slice for, uh, for snake tongue. And have you ever watched how each individual part of their tongue since it is a muscle can, like, move separately from each other? No, no, really? Yeah, it's pretty, it's pretty, uh, it's unsettling, but at the same time, very curious.

It's very interesting, though. Yeah. It's very interesting. Yeah, they can move, yeah, the tongue is an amazing appendage. It's a muscle. That is a muscle. That's a muscle. That's a muscle. We know that. I know the tongue is a muscle. I just imagine making out with somebody that's got one of those. Marcus, have you ever made out with somebody that's got that? I have not, but I hear it's a lot of fun. It's got to be fun, but I feel like I'd probably end up accidentally biting one of the pieces.

I don't know. I mean, someone with a new tongue like that might make that mistake, but I think if you were, I think the person probably knows what they're doing. They know how to prevent that from happening. Also, just don't bite when you're kissing someone. Yeah, they're a real bitey French kisser. It depends. It depends on what point that it is happening, you know?

I mean, a lip bite, that's really fun. A lip bite. A lip bite. That's what I mean. It's like, I'm more of like a lip bite or a lip sucker, but it's like, what if like one of the pieces like sticks out? They're not actual snakes. They're not flicking their tongue.

They're snakes. I think it's snakes. This is the smallest little addendum, but I feel like I've been, It's been keeping me up at night since I just finished Queer Eye season two. It's literally been keeping me up at night. I remember when we first talked about Queer Eye when it first came out. I was like, I don't know. I don't think I like Jonathan's long hair.

And I'm just here to say, I was so wrong. I'm saying, I'm such a normie for being like, I don't like men with long hair. I just want to, I just actually was thinking like, oh my God, I'm on the record on page seven saying I don't like Jonathan's long hair. How embarrassing. And so I just wanted to come and say I was so wrong. What's wrong with me? His long hair is perfect. He is perfect.

He is perfection. I needed this confession. I've been waiting for this ever since you said it because, I mean, it's not that I thought you were wrong. I just disagreed. Well, I was being, I was thinking about like, I don't know what I was thinking about. I just wasn't seeing the real Jonathan who was right in front of me. That's true. No.

As a former long hair myself, it happens quite often. Yeah. Are you ever going to go back to long hair, Marcus? You know what? I think I'm losing too much of my hair up top now to really do it right. Although maybe that's what you do. Maybe instead of going full ball, as we've been discussing, you could just go long on the sides and in the back. I have known men to do the ball top long hair combo and it is a choice.

It's a choice. It says a lot about the man. I think it says that you're confident. I think it says that you're strong. And I think it says that, you know, you've got something wrong with your neck that you're. You don't want to show it. I mean, Jesse Ventura does it. He's very good at the bald-up top long hair thing.

And he's not the worst guy to kind of model yourself after. But I used to work with the guy that was like he always wore a bit. He wore like one of those golfing hats. And he had like the really long hair, but you never saw him without the golfing hat ever, ever. Looks like I'm imagining kind of like a Wayne's World situation. Somewhat. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So he was older. Like those hats you buy at Spencer's that were like a Wayne's World hat that came with long hair attached to it? Somewhere between a fedora and a cowboy hat. Oh. Like, you know what I mean? Like those types of, those types of hats. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's rough.

The Arnold Palmer hats. But he'd always wear those constantly. And then I went over to his house one day. Did you work on a golf course? No, no, no, no, bookstore. I see. Same different day. No, I get, I get, yeah, yeah.

And I went over to his house one day And I guess he forgot to put on his hat And he was bald as a cue ball up top And it was weird And from that moment on And I had long hair Really long hair then Because there was a sweet spot

When my long hair was beautiful It was absolutely beautiful It was really beautiful I've seen the pictures Yeah I think it was riggins-esque Yeah it was very Wrigan's It had a beauty to it

that was just, uh, God, I loved my long hair. And then all that went away. But I swore to myself. When I saw that man, sit,

open it, sitting in his door with just a bald, cue ball head and long, long hair, that I would never be that. It was, it's like a male pattern baldness. It is where,

where it starts. Yeah, yeah. It's like, he's like Bob Hoskins, but with really long hair. I love Bob Hoskins. Me too,

but Bob Hoskins, You know, he had the regular Bob Hoskins haircut, you know? Like, he knew what he was doing. Or like Ed Asner at that type. Yeah. Oh, hell yeah. Where my triple F peeps is at? Usually the only trip-fs in my life are fighting food and fornicating.

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I've seen Predator versus Alien. I've seen like a bunch of the other Predator movies, but I never watched the original, and I got to say, it's streaming on HBO right now. Watch Predator. Yeah. Run! Dude!

It's great. It's really great. Because I didn't realize when Henry and I went to Halloween Horror Nights a couple of years ago, and I got, he bought me light up tentacles for my head that I didn't realize it was from Predator. But dude, those tentacles were awesome. Yeah.

Oh, that's really cool. Yeah, I'm kind of jealous of you seeing Predator for the first time. Dude, it was great. Love that movie since I was a kid. Yeah. Molly, I think that you would also dig it too because it's not like, it's just like, it's just a great fun movie. Yeah, I think I should watch Predator. Alien is the one, Gideon kept making references to Alien when I was pregnant, right?

That's the one where, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, top ten. I've seen Alien versus Predator, but I do, I feel like I need to, like, it's like a college dissertation where I need to, like, start with Alien versus Predator. and then go alien and then Predator and then kind of unpack it all, you know? How did both of you see Alien versus Predator, but neither Alien nor Predator? Oh, I've seen Alien many times. Okay, you've never seen Predator.

But I never seen Predator, yeah. I think it was just because it was like one of those things where it's a great makeout movie when it came out. Alien versus Predator? Yeah, that is definitely, that's a makeout movie. Yeah, well, my problem is that I haven't seen all, like most movies I haven't seen,

which is why you guys are always educating me. That is true. Well, Predators super fun. Like, there are a bunch of commandos. They're going down to a South American country to check out. What is it, like some rebels or something like that? Yeah. You know, like what the CIA used to do all the time.

Yeah. And they have no... That sounds like a lot in 80s action movies. Where it's like, just send them to South America. They'll get in the trouble there. Just a vague South America. It really was. Like, just being, it's like, we are going to South America.

And maybe it was Nicaragua, I think. Yeah, Central America. I think it was Nicaragua. But yeah, they go down there and there are a bunch of like guys. And so they have like a fight with the guys, the rebels. And then they realize there is something hunting them. Dude. That's actually, that's, you're definitely selling it to me.

Yeah, it's Jesse Ventura, Arnold Schwarzenegger, of course. Jesse Ventura is there with Arnold Schwarzenegger? Yeah. Yeah, this was back when Jesse Ventura was, you know, a wrestler. It was his first foray into acting, I think. I'm not from Minnesota. I lived in Minnesota, so I got a relationship with Jesse. Yeah, Jesse Ventura was the heavy gunner.

Carl Weathers is in it. Carl Weathers is great. But no, Jesse Ventura's awesome in it. And then a couple other dudes. Yeah, I'll watch that. That sounds great. Yeah, it's really fun. Yeah, yeah, it's really fun.

We've been watching some classic movies as a family lately, and I was talking to my boy to the other day, and I was like, yeah, I watched the original Godzilla for the first time. And it was like, it was just so crazy because it's like, I mean, it's like, they just like, take that girl and just like steal her, throw her on a boat. There's a bunch of natives and it's very, you know, problematic. I'm going on and on and on about it. And he's like, what the hell are you talking about? And I was like, because like the girl. And then like it comes and it takes it.

And he's like, do you mean King Kong? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's what I was just thinking too. I was like, girl. and Godzilla. And I talked about it for so long to the point that he stopped me

that he was just like, you know, I never want to like correct you, but two very different movies. Although I know where you're coming from, it's two big monsters. Yeah, but one of them's a monkey, one's a lizard. One's a mammal.

One's a reptile. Yeah, but they're both like, oh, building. Smash building. One's in New York. One's in Tokyo. You. Two big metropolitan centers.

They're very similar. Yeah. One has an island and one doesn't. That's how little I know about that whole genre that I just, I don't, oh yeah, that's right. Yeah. If you really want to see the two of them together, you can watch like the 1963, I think, the 1963 King Kong versus Godzilla.

if you want to see some super problematic native stuff. Oh my God. But it's rough. It's rough. It's real rough. But the rest of it was, it's like, it's super fun. It's really cool. It was one of my favorite movies when I was a kid.

Like Kong drinks berry juice and that's where he gets his power from. But watch the American dubbed version, not the Japanese version. The American dubbed version is the more fun. That's the one that's more fun. That sounds about right. Yeah. It was pretty cool though because Henry was telling me like, like it looks like King Kong's fur is moving. I mean, it's an old

as fuck movie. It looks, it still looked great, but he said that the reason why it looked like the fur was moving is because they did animation with like an actual like, you know, monkey claymation kind of thing. And every time they moved it, it was the fingerprints that they would leave on the actual monkey.

And like, that's insane to be. Do you realize how long that must have taken? Oh, yeah. Stop motion takes fucking forever. I think that movie was 1932. Yeah, sounds about right. No shit, 1932. Sure. I think King Kong was in the 30s.

Yeah. Yeah. Maybe, yeah. I want to see you. Pre-Nazis! I guess maybe the Nazis were around. Yeah, 1933. Damn.

Yeah, that's pretty good special effects, to be honest. I mean, you know what? It was still great. It was in and out. Yeah. In and out. 2005 King Kong is a pretty big waste of time, though. Yeah.

Have y'all watched the Peter Jackson one? I didn't. It's like three hours long for no reason. No. I was like, I know what I'm about to see. I don't need to see this. You don't need to see it at all. Unless you want to see King Kong skating in Central Park, which I don't think you do.

Although, actually, maybe. He's so big. Where'd they get the skates for them? Only one skate would even fit on the ice right there. I mean, I did, I've told you about it many times. I did watch Godzilla 2000 because, I mean, the soundtrack alone. Impeccable. Godzilla 2000 or Godzilla 96?

Oh, I'm talking Godzilla 2000. What's Godzilla 2000? It was a blur for all of us, 96 to 2000. I mean, it's all the same. I forget who was in and who was in this. I just remember I had the soundtrack, and the soundtrack was great. Are you talking about the Japanese one or the American one? The American one.

Okay, so you're talking about Matthew Broderick Godzilla, right? Fuck yeah, bitch. Pardon? Matthew Broderick? Yeah, you don't remember. It was like 96 or 97. I was too busy seeing Pay It Forward in the theaters, I'm sorry. No, this movie was gigantic, or at least it was a gigantic bomb.

But I remember... Whoa. But I remember they pushed it real hard, and it had... What was it? The soundtrack was the Wallflowers covering Heroes. A Puff Daddy song in which he sampled Kashmir, the Led Zeppelin song. And it was an awful movie. Awful.

I mean, just absolutely dreadful, dreadful movie. I don't know why I thought it was Godzilla 2000. It's all the Godzilla's. all the same. Yeah, and this is a Godzilla remake. It's like Matthew Broderick is a scientist that studies worms. Sure. But he studies the radioactive effects of worms. And then Godzilla shows up in New York, so they fly him in. And his ex-girlfriend is there, and she's a newspaper, or she's a television reporter trying to make it. And her buddy, Hank Azaria, he's the cameraman, and there's a couple other people in there. And then Godzilla gets in a Madison Square

Garden and lays a bunch of eggs, and then they blow them up. And there's a whole underwater snake scheme. It's... terrible. The cast sounds fantastic. Cast sounds all right. It just makes me think it's the whole Taco Bell commercials. Like, yeah, lizard, lizard, lizard. Yeah. I think I need a bigger box. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was trying to think of which

fast food franchise tied into it. Yeah, it was Taco Bell. Yeah, because that's where I remember was got, I got the actual CD from Taco Bell. They were selling them at the time. It was weird time. It was 1998. Yeah. I think that really

was when I was seeing Pay It Forward and I'm not exactly sure when Pay It came up but I think that's why I wasn't seeing this.

I would understand that yeah. I think it was Roland Emmerich, the guy that made Independence Day. It was like his, I think it was

his follow-up to Independence Day. What a disappointment for him. What a huge disappointment for all of us. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But Matthew Broderick

was sexy as fucking it. He's got, he had like his little glasses on. You would definitely be into Matthew Broderick in this movie, Molly. Because he has glasses. Yeah.

Because you like nerds. I like nerds. I like nerds. I was real proud of myself, Jackie, because I realized this past week in between last time when we were talking about both Succession and Sharp Objects. And I was telling the people in my house about how there's hotter people in sharp objects than there is in Succession. And Gideon was like, well, who do you think is hot in Sharp Objects?

And I was forced to admit that I think that the Sheriff in Sharp Objects is a real Daddy. Interesting choice for you, Molly. I know it really surprised me. I didn't want to admit it until about five or six episodes in it. And I was like, I think this old man is what my friend Jackie Zabowski might call a daddy. He is a bit of a daddy. The problem is that he's always so sweaty and he's kind of an idiot. But I get it. Very much so. Yeah, he was, he was, he really snuck up on me as a daddy. Yeah, but what about Chris Messina? Wait, which one's that? The, oh, Kansas. Kansas City? The, the detective.

You're not talking, you're, you're, you're talking about the detective? I'm talking, not about Kansas City. I'm talking about the old guy. Oh, yeah, you're talking about the old guy. I'm talking about the old guy. Yeah, no, Kansas City detective, he's fine. He's, all right, but I'll take the old guy. Very interesting choice for you, Molly.

Marcus, did you look up this guy? I have not looked at. Who's this guy again? Matt Craven. Matt Braven? Craven. He was in a few good men. he wasn't he's been in a million thousand faces Marcus made a I'm not mad I'm just

disappointed face at me really this is I'm telling you I'm as surprised as anybody his nose and his ears looks like they're trying to run away from his face I know I'm telling you this is a limited series and it took me until like the second last episode of the limited series to be like I think I like this daddy and he's a cop he's like a cop he's like a cop Daddy. And I was like, all right, cop daddy. And I, yeah, I don't, I can't explain it. You know, he's not usually my type, but I get where you're coming from because there are definitely some pictures that I'm looking at of him where his hair is kind of more untamed. And then I, I can see me just like grab it onto his hair and mean like, never let me go, Chief. You know, like you do

when you have sex, right? Yeah, like you do. I still stand by. How many times do you call someone chief during sex. You know what? I would say a fair amount between that and like, sir, a marriage into those things. And what I realized is that the women in sharp objects are very hot, all of them, and the women in succession are also very hot, but the men, not a single man in succession that I want to sleep with. But yet still watching.

Still worth watching. I mean, you know that's a rough sell for me. But at the same time, I would still, I think I'd still kiss on Kieran Kalkin. Kieran Kalkin is interestingly normal looking. The thing about him is that he is a real famous guy who just looks like a normal dude. And I appreciate that. I'm kind of into it. He looks like a normal dude.

Yes, right. That's the thing. He looks like a normal dude. And he saw him in real life. He'd be like, you look like McCauley Culkin. And he'd be like, he's my brother. Ah, I see. Yeah.

Oh, like that guy in Black Klansman, And that I kept every time he talked, I was just like, man, I just keep thinking you're Steve Buscemi. But Steve Buscemi's brother. Steve Buscemi's brother, I met him in real life once. No, you did it. Well, just by met him, I mean, was having drinks at the same event. Oh, what's his name? Did you try to kiss?

I did not try to kiss. Huh. Why? Mike Buschemy. Yeah, he's a real, like a near-death experience to Steve Buschemy. He's like, oh, I think I'm getting Steve Buschemy. Nope, not quite. But it's weird because.

because he sounds just like him and he kind of looks like him and it just kept throwing me off, but I will say, I mean, I know that I've talked about this before, but Adam Driver can keep his shoes under my bed any day. Yeah, Adam Driver is good. In a way that's creepy. He's like a creepy man, but it works. I'm a fan of his.

Yeah? Yeah. I would actually, no, he was the only good part of the last two Star Wars movies. Oh, yeah, you did say that. He liked him in the Star Wars movies. Only a part, he was really funny and inside Lewin Davis. He was, yeah, I can't actually think. I think I've seen him in a couple other things,

but every time he's been on screen, like I actually like enjoy his performances. Well, he's so interesting that I don't even know if they actually wrote him a more interesting arc in the Star Wars movies or if he just brought the interesting arc himself. But he seems just like a, you just look at him and you're like, ooh, you've got a backstory. Like whether they actually gave him or not, I don't know, but he looks like that.

He exudes depth. Yes, he does exude depth. And his voice. Oh, my God. Yeah, his voice. of his voice. Yeah, his voice is good. His voice is good.

You know whose voice? I used to get turned on to people by voice. And you know whose voice I really, really love? Don Cheadle. Don Cheadle does have a very good voice. Really? Yeah, he does. I'm on board.

I was afraid you guys were going to be like, what's wrong with you? No, he's got a hot, hot voice, Don Cheadle. It's sensitive. Yes. It's got a sensitivity to it. But not too sensitive. That's right. No, but he's also hot as fuck.

He is hot as fuck. But it was in ER, in ER, I was like, I'm attracted to everybody here. And then Don Chudel was there, and I was like, I'm attracted to your voice. What do you think of him in Boogie Nights? You know, I haven't seen Boogie Nights. That's a, that's a big one. Yeah, I'd tap, I know. I'd still tap.

You tap him in Boogie Nights? Yeah, why not, you know? Buck's super stereo world. You know, it doesn't matter what you do for a living, you know, as long as you got the right, Kiss. That's what matters, guys. You know, I'm equal opportunity kisser over here. In what is it?

In Boogie Nights, he plays a porn star who dresses like a cowboy whose dream is to run his own stereo business. That sounds like how I like him in Boogie Nights. He's a good character. He's a bit hapless and things, you know, just kind of seem to like not ever work out for him. But just about everybody in Boogie Nights is hapless. I mean, that's part of what makes it so great. Yeah, that sounds fantastic.

I feel like I would want him to wear the outfit, and I would just be like, ride him, my cheetah. Zaddles, kiss me, ride me, my cheetah. Yeah, I think that that would work out really. Every time I hear that sign up, be like, my cheeto. Ride it.

My cheeto. Man, I just read it. We watched Punch Drunk Love this week, too. Speaking of Paul T. Anderson, it is, uh, man, that's a, that's a dozy. And I feel like it's one of those movies, too, that I've watched so many times when I was really, really sad that I always saw it as a sad movie. And then when you watch it when you're actually happy, it's a, it's a totally different movie. Does it hold up?

I think it does. Really? You know, I haven't watched it since I was a very sad college boy. Same. And that's why I'm like, I don't, that's how I feel about eternal sunshine of the spotless mind. I was listening to way too much bright eyes. I saw that movie.

Oh, yeah. And it's just a bright-eyed song in my head. I saw it and I walked away and I was like, that was a bright-ey-eyed song. Yeah. And in my head it's fantastic, but I don't know if it is actually fantastic because, you know, it was a different time in my mental health. That was a very specific time for movies. Like it was a mopee time for movies.

Yes. Like our years in college, or my years, 2001 and 2006, super mopey time for movies. It's the whole post-9-11 thing. Yes, it was a movie. Things got pretty mopey for a while. But there was good mopey, like I think Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mine, and then there was bad Mopey like Garden State. Yes.

Whoa. All right. Well, we don't need to say it's bad. I'll throw this barb. I will throw this barb. I don't. I mean, again, I have not seen it since I watched it 100,000 times when I was in high school, but it's got a hold up.

Come on. No, that crap is bad. Watch it with some hindsight because the, the lesson that you're supposed to come away with is you don't need medication and therapy to take care of your depression. You just need a girl. Yes. You just need a girl.

Girl make you happy. Yeah, that's bad. You are saying this to someone that I am at the end of season six of Scrubs right now, by the way. I feel like I. You were all, you came to the show being like, can we talk about how great Zach Braff is? And Marcus and I were like, no. No. I guess.

I love him. Oh, yeah, I'm still on the train, baby. He's fine. He's fine. He's all right. Yeah, he's all right. All right. All right, it's time for the list. Who's on the list? Marcus, got to have that list. This is one that Jackie sent over to me.

Evil power couples. Now, I have not looked at the list, so I don't know what is on the list. So this might be Bobo. Yeah, I have not looked at the list either. Unvetted list. Unvetted list. Unvetted list. I also sent you a secondary list just in case.

That is true. When we say who's on the list, we really mean it. Yeah. Oh, yeah. All right. Well, this one is evil, yes, evil power couples. It's all fictional couples. Yeah.

Chuck and Blair from Gossip Girl. Did either of you watch Gossip Girl? Never did. No, we're in the middle of pretty little liars. I would say Gossip Girl's probably next. I was going to say, Gossip Girl has to be next after Pretty Little Liars. I told my parents I was watching Pretty Little Liars and they were like the one with Nicole Kidman. I was like, nope, nope, a much worse one.

I like that, but significantly worse. Oh, I know you know about this one. At least I know Jackie knows about it. Catherine and Sebastian from Cruel Intentions. Oh, cruel intentions. That is one, does it hold up? I mean, I didn't listen to sixth grade. No, and I still, like, I still listen to Bitter Sweet Symphony.

probably five times a week, but does the movie hold up? Marcus, have you seen it since? I have not. I only remember the sexiness betwixt the two. If we can judge whether the film holds up based on whether or not bittersweet, Symphony holds up, I think the answer is no.

Hey! Hey, it's sensual and it's brooding. It is brooding. Do you watch scandal? No, I didn't, but I want to. I always meant to. All right, all right. Let's see here.

Didn't watch Handmaiden's Tale. Uh-oh, we're doing bad. It's a bad list, guys. I'm sorry. I couldn't want Handmaid's Tale too scary. Sweeney Todd and Mrs. Lovett? Which version? The Johnny Depp one?

Looks like they're going for Johnny Depp here. Man, I looked at so many jiffs the other day because I was trying to wake somebody up via text, and I kept sending them, Mama, wake up! Mom! Wake up! And there's a bunch of gyps of it, but also, like, showing a bunch of other what's eating Gilbert grape gyps? Or is it gifs?

Is it a gyps? I don't remember. And he immediately was like, are you trying to call me a obese woman that is dead in my sleep? And I was like, whoa, spoiler alert, come on. All right, we can check out the other one is oddest names for groups of animals. Yes. Jackie Fighting on the list is a fun twist. I like Jackie Fighting on the list.

the list. I like Jackie's list. Jackie's lists are like celebrity adjacent. Yeah. A shrewdness of apes. What? That's what a group of apes are called. This is Jackie trying to make us audition for the Today Show spots. This is totally a Today Show thing. A sleuth of bears. Oh my God, what are they looking for?

It should have been a sleuth of sloths. Oh, cats have a lot. Cats have a lot. Cats have a lot a clouder a clutter a pounce a doubt a nuisance a glorying or a glare who is the source for these days this is like some lady this insider some lady just calls her group of cats a nuisance oh you're a nuisance all you cats you're all a nuisance i got two cats i call them a nuisance oh a coalition oh no this one isn't true this isn't true at all a cowardly of dogs. No way.

That was just called a cuddle puddle. Ooh, elephants, that's actually called a parade of elephants. Oh, that's fun. A business of ferrets. Of ferrets? Isn't this fun, guys? We're learning so much.

Oh, yeah. A bloat of hippos. That's good. That's a good one. Oh, man, hippos are so scary, but wouldn't it be great to saddle one up and ride it? I think you would hurt your hips. They actually kill more people in Africa than any other animal.

Yeah, that's the thing. They're really mean. Yeah, they're very extremely dangerous animals. You wouldn't want to get head butted by one. Oh, no, they just run you down. And then they just run you down. Yeah, they're fast. They stomp you.

They stomp you to death. All right, it's time for blind items. This first one, this isn't necessarily as much for the juiciness as it is for what might come of it. This former A-plus list, mostly television actor from multiple very hit shows from the same network, is anxious to get his reboot going. He really needs the cash infusion, and what he most loves about it is that he doesn't have to share any of the money with his ex because of a carve-out provision in their divorce

agreement. Ben Affleck? No, no, no, TV show. It's all TV. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Think of who had two very hit television shows on the same network playing the same character. Ted Danson. Close.

Tim Allen. No. Kelsey Grammer. Kelsey Grammer. Whoa. Dick Tattoo. Good one, Molly. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. They're coming again. Okay. It looks like there's going to be a Frazier reboot. Oh. I'm on board, though. I love it.

I'm okay with it. I just feel like it was a time, you know? It was a specific time. I'd like to see, what is Frasier going to do with a cell phone? Ooh. What will his opinions be on text messaging? Right. I'm just sad because John Mullaney was my favorite part.

Was that his name? Yeah, not John Mullaney. John Maloney is a... John Maloney. John Maloney. Yeah. Yeah, he was very good. Right.

And the dog is also dead. Yeah. The dog is dead. Mahoney. It's Mahoney. That dog was the same dog that was in my dog, skip. And that dog is a big reason why I ended up with a Jack Russell Terrier as a child. Jack Russell Terrier is a great little dog.

I loved my Jack Russell Terrier so much. It was the world's best dog. And that dog, that Frazier dog, had a prolific career. Yes, he did. May we all be as lucky. And may he rest in peace. And may he rest in peace. They were all rested as much peace as that really great career having dug.

And our other blind item today, this foreign-born weight challenge slash grouchy slash heavy drinker slash frequent cheater slash academy award winner nominee. This guy is being talked about to be hooking up with this foreign boy. That was terribly written, but this guy is being rumored to be hooking up with this foreign-born permanent alist singer. First of all, she's about twice the age of the women he dates. Second of all, she has no interest in him or anyone of his ilk. Not going to happen, didn't happen. Both would say, hell no. Interesting born.

Two foreign boards, not two non-Americans. And the woman is older than the man. Woman's older than the man. But not by much, actually. It's more like, actually, they might be the same age. It's just that he likes to date much younger girl. He's Australian, I think, plays big man in all his movies. Oh, I'm a big man.

I do big things. Australian, big man. Big Australian man. Yeah, he's dating a foreign-born singer. He's not dating her. Their agents are trying to get him together for some strange reason. Because you know how that happens when agents play like matchmaker and they get people together? They're trying to do that with these two.

But this one doesn't make any sense whatsoever. But yeah, he's Australian, plays like, like gladiators. Oh, Russell Crow. Yeah, yeah, I guess he played a gladiator. I couldn't be like, I was thinking it's like, what other, like, what is it? Roman fight God. You know what? I'm still into him, even though he's definitely not as attractive as he used to be, and that's fine, even though I love as men get older.

But him and Gladiator was a touchdown. No, dude. Have you seen Leibiz, man? Russell Crow couldn't act his way. out of a paper bag. I know he's bad and lame is. But you know what? He got the job.

What was he supposed to do? I mean, at least Javert is a terrible character, so his terribleness worked. Well, listen, by terrible, I mean wonderfully terrible. Oh, okay. Like, he's a great bad prosecutor cop guy. Yes. But he is like, he's not a sympathetic character. And so Russell Crow, it worked.

Yes, it did work. And the woman that they're trying to match me. with, four and born A-less singer had one gigantic hit but wouldn't call her a one-hit wonder. Canadian. Not Celine Dion.

Selene Dion. How dear, they will never be together. Her one true love is dead and she will be alone for the rest of her life because she will always pine for him. She's actually more, it's more like she's lesbian. Really?

What? What? We talked about this on the show before. Oh, yes, Celine Dion's been in the closet for quite a long time. Well, it could also be, you know, I mean, we all know how sexuality is fluid. So it could be after her husband died. She's like, actually, you know what? I'm into women now.

Great. And that's the thing. She's apparently been, according to the blood out, and has been dating a woman for quite a while now. But her agents and such don't want her to come out because they think for some reason that's going to hurt record sales. You got this Vegas show. You got to keep straight people coming to it. You got to keep them. They're not going to enjoy thinking about you

an attractive woman. Gay people don't go to Vegas. Gay people don't like to watch people saying. Gay will never play in Vegas. Never, never, ever. Never before has a gay man had a successful run in Las Vegas. It's not like two of the biggest

stars that Vegas ever seen were both wildly homosexual. Oh my God. Speaking of wildly homosexual, I didn't even tell you guys, but I'm really, really excited. Henry for my birthday, got me tickets to the farewell tour of Alton John, bitch. Finally, you know about that. I've been keeping this secret forever.

He got them in February. That's sweet. You have a sweet brother. And we're going to go and it's just going to be the two of us. We're going to get really drunk and we're going to sing. Oh, you're coming here for that, right? No, it's out here. Oh, I thought you were going to, I thought you guys were coming to Madison Square Garden for that.

No, we're going to the forum, baby. Oh, yeah, we're like five rows in. It's going to be insane. That sounds awesome. You guys got to live stream that. Oh, my God. I'm going to cry the entire time. He was my number one.

He was my number one that I had to see before he kicked the bucket. I mean, always my number one was David Bowie, but we know how that went. So, I thought you were going to say Barry Manilow. Well, oh, I've seen Barry Manilow, you know, eight or nine times. But I would love to see him one more time because I want to like throw my panties at him. I was never old enough to like properly throw my panties, you know. I understand. You know, that's all we got time for today.

That's a good place to wrap it up. Thank you guys so much for listening. Tonight, Molly and I are doing our first monthly drunk rules watching of Twister because you guys chose it on the Patreon. For our $10 and up Patreon subscribers, we will be doing this once a month of doing a mystery science theater-esque watching of a movie of your choice. I am super excited about it. And if you want more, more of us, because we are slapping a bunch of stuff up on the Patreon. It is at patreon.com slash page seven podcast, seven the number.

And my name is Jackie Soprowski. You can follow me on Instagram at Jack That Worm. My name is Molly Neffle. I'm MJK. Elk. I'm Marcus Spock. We love you guys. And we'll talk to you next week. Bye.

Bye. I just want to send a hard cold cockadoodle thank you to all of our patrons out there. I really appreciate your support. We definitely can't do it without you. And man, ooh, the kisses you would get if I see you. Guses one, kisses two, kisses three. Shout out to Corey Robert Hart, Catherine Mueller, Sean Amas. Alice Burford Reed

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He always. Ask me to moan it and I give him what he wants. Michael Petralia. Olivia Pepe. Jordan Fraser. Alicia Burke. Ashley A. Caldwell. Good name.

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Katie. Haggaty. Hackety. Yeah, it's a singing one today? I don't know. I'm just feeling it. Carly. Fanny.

Oh, I can't. I don't know it. Fanny? Fanny yell at me. It's letters I don't know. I'm bad at it. Lindsay Moore. Whitney Nielsen.

Kyla, Miss Derna. Caitlin Leacos, Robin Hagget, Robert Jeffrey, Joanna Gorsuch, Chris Braden, Christy Ellis, Kathleen Shepano, and Nikki Reid. Thank you guys so much for being patrons of page 7. I am so excited about the content that we are producing right now, and I'm so fucking happy that you guys are going to be a part of it. I'm just, I don't know, I'm all excited. I get antsies in my P-N-Sy.

and they're hungry and they got pinchies and I'm scared for my vagina but I'm also kind of titillated at the same time. Are you titillated as well? Love you guys so much and thank you again for being a part of our Patreon. That is patreon.com slash page 7 podcast. I love you and I kiss you.