Page 7 - Episode 274: JacKanye

Episode Date: October 11, 2018

Jackie and Marcus are joined by Holden McNeely to gab about horses, Taylor Swift, and Jackie's new nerd hobbies.  Get $10 off your first box at http://fabfitfun.com with promo code: PAGESEVEN Go to http://koparibeauty.com/page7 to make the safe switch today, and save five-dollars off your first order when you subscribe! Want even more hot goss? Support us on Patreon!  https://www.patreon.com/page7podcast Off to Osaka, The Show Must Be Go, Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Com Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

You love me forever, do you need me? Will you never leave me? Will you make me so happy for the rest of my life? Will you take me away? Will you make me a wife? I gotta know right. Wasn't prepared vocally to sing it, but it has been in my fucking brain

because my brother's getting married this week. Oh my God, is it happening? Hi, I'm Holden. Welcome, Holden. Thank you so much. Thank you so much for sitting in with us. My name is Jackie Zabrowski. I'm Marcus Park.

And we're here at page 7. They don't fucking know you by this point. They know you guys by this point. I had to say hello because people don't know the five. People are like, who's this? Assumingly has a dog face by the sound of his voice person screaming into the microphone. But they know you two guys are so popular. Every episode could be someone's first episode.

Jackie, how many Insta followers? How many you got? A good amount. It's a lot. I love my selfies. There's nothing wrong with my selfies. You know what? Sometimes you just got to lean in. And there's nothing wrong with that.

I'm okay with who I am. Just that pregnant silence. You know, it gets you every single time. If someone is listening to this episode and it's their first episode, I'm just going to go and throw it out there. There's a lovely woman named Molly who normally co-host this episode. I'm a horrible monster that Jackie sometimes invites to come do it in her stead. But she has a child and that child's growing faster actually.

Scientists are worried. The child is now 10 years old. She's too good at it. Yeah, she's getting old jack with it. Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, getting jack with it. Which is a very sad thing. It's a sad thing.

It doesn't exist. That specific disease does not exist. Okay. That's a good thing. But no, the baby's fine. Thank you so much for joining us today, Holden, because we're doing a little bit of a nerd week. I'm so excited that you have invited me on to speak about nerd week.

it took me years to accept myself as being a nerd person man. But now I am a nerd person man and I say to all you jocks out there, I'll take you on in a little, a little halo competition. And you'll be the one. What you would say to the jocks? No sprint competitions. Nothing else. And then I'll make out with the girl with the pom-poms and you'll be all jerking it

in your grandmother's house. I hope you stay there on weekends because you mow the lawn for $5 for comic books. I can't wait. You know what? Let's find a jock for you to say this, too. I would really like to watch you try and intimidate someone. Holden, I love you very much, but you are the least intimidating person I've ever met. I had a hard time in high school.

We had a particularly bad year for jocks, and they were called themselves the grade eight, even though there were like 12 of them. And they, yeah, exactly. They had a name for themselves, and they all talk like this now. And they love to take classes that I wanted to take because I wanted to learn and just ruin them by like making fun of the class the whole time and demoralize the teacher.

It sucked. But I will say this. I learned that they only talked a big game, but they never actually did anything. Because we went to a private school. So everybody was like, at the end of the day, I included everyone was a little bit of a Nancy. Okay, you know what I mean?

So I started throwing down. I was like, you won't hit me. And they never did. They never punched me. I screamed at them to punch me in the face. Did you actually do that thing? Yeah. I got up in the,

I'd just be like, oh, I learned the secret. They wouldn't actually act on it. They were too afraid of getting, like, grounded or whatever. See, I went to public school, and that got you hit. Yes. Very hard. I would have gotten fucked up in public school. I'm going to throw that down there for the judge injury.

I would have got my ass. Fodagh in a public school setting. Yeah, but as a bully, I never beat up the nerds, though, because I was a nerd, just a silent nerd. This is my whole conundrum with Jackie is that she really, she is a bully. I am the bullied, right? We have so, it's so, and yet we're like a meeting of the mind. I feel like it's this weird opposites attract situation with our friendship. Well, Jackie's a reformed bully.

Yeah. I'm much better now. And also, again, I didn't go after people like you. I went after the people that were the popular people that were, that were bullying other people. Sometimes you got to get a big strong fat to get up in there and be like, you want to hit me because I won't go down. I've got years of anger problems. And you've already sent all of your Facebook apology messages at this point. So you've gotten all of the messages back that did not forgive you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I got to. Only two. There were only two that really, truly want to see me dead still. But I apologized. And isn't that what matters most? Wait, Holden, do you have your sweat rag right now? Yes, I have my sweat rag because it refuses to cool down here. I'm so pissed off.

It is, what, like, 70? It's not even that bad. It's a nice, breezy day outside. It's pretty nice out, but I went on a run, and so now I won't stop sweating for the rest of the day. I worked out earlier and I sweat a lot I'm not sweating at all right on You have central air It is a completely different beast

I'm gonna sit here and go into my tone of voice where I talk like this But it's different Jack Ballin Although I will say I got really sad the other night Because I had a big sweater on and leggings I was like it's so cold outside What's happening? And then I checked the

temperature, it was 70 degrees 70 degrees outside and I was freezing So now I immediately become one of those people Fuck me, am I right? I'm fine. It's going to be a great week, guys. We got Nerd Week going.

I watched my first UFC fight this weekend. Yeah, because nothing says nerds like UFC. Right? It was like it's Nerdwis. We're going to talk about the UFC and the Tabletop RPG. I'm like, what is UFC? You're going to talk about like the bully's favorite sport. Like every bully that I've met, like adult bullies.

Adult bullies love UFC more than anything. And that's what you're starting with. Well, I guess maybe as a reformed bully, this is how I get into it. Yeah. This is what I need to do. This is my opening up. And maybe my vision of what a nerd is is not everyone's vision of what a nerd is. Right.

But, I mean, the people I was watching the UFC fight with were definitely nerds. Ah, yeah, I suppose so. You know, talking about the stats and talking about all those kinds of things. I have a crush on Connemer Greger. He's a very bad man. He's very bad. Did you see him attack the bus? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, with the chair.

I watch a bunch of videos. He's a very angry man. Yeah. He's a little leprechaun, and I love him very much. But who I fell in love with was this man, and I feel like everyone should look him up and look up videos of him. His name is Derek Lewis. He's a huge, hot, thick black man.

And he is, like, all of his videos. So after his fight, which he won, he took off his pants, and he stayed in there in his underwear, And the guy asked him why he took off his pants and he goes, my balls was hot. And all of his interviews are so, I just went down a horrible hole of Derek Lewis because a lot of his videos, they like went back and they're like, see how he took that punch in the center? He's like, why did you take it like that? He's like, I had to boo-boo. I had number two.

I had a boo-boo up in there. And it wasn't my fault. I had to go boo-boo. And he kept saying how he had to go boo-boo, which meant going to take a shit. Can I just throw out a little nickname for the guns out there for this guy? Can I throw a little nickname for the guns? Let's go with Derek Screw Us. Yes, I like it.

That's good. I was holding that in the canister since you mentioned it before we started. That's how fucking professional I am sitting on that. Like a dirty boo-boo or whatever he's called it. He calls it boo-boo. He calls it boo-boo. He calls it a boo-boo. So he thinks it's a mistake?

Whenever he shits, he thinks it's more of a mistake he's made. He said he was, and he also ended that one with, where's Ronda Rusey's fine ass at? But I also looked at pictures of him and his wife, and his wife apparently put him on a no sex for like two months after he said that. But all of his other things is that, like, right after a fight, he's like, what are you going to do after a fight? He's like, eh, you know, I'm going to put my wife's legs up over ahead.

See what happens. And then another guy, he beat the ever-loving Christ out of. And afterwards, they're like, why did you go so far? And he's like, he put his hands on a woman. No real man puts a hands on a woman. So I put my hands on him. And I'm like, I'm like gooshing at this point. And I just want to just watch every fight with him.

And I'm not a fight, fight. And I didn't watch a fight fight fight. No. I didn't watch that. I mean, if anyone is like, hey, come over, let's watch the fight, I will definitely do it. I mean, at this point right now, I'm watching maybe more wrestling just because I'll go to Kisle's Place every now and again for a paper view. But I love watching some MMA, some, some, UFC action, some hardcore sweaty bodies, rubbing up.

You know, it's almost kind of with professional wrestling. I'd say the same thing almost for MMA. Like, almost the women are almost more entertaining to watch than the men because they just fucking are animals. I actually say in these days with WWE, the ladies' matches are actually more fun than the men's matches. Ladies are crushing it right now. You know what I mean? So, yeah, but yeah, I totally love it. I love the blood, the chains, you know, the alcohol flowing through every.

I would love to go see it live, too. I think that would be a lot of fun to go do. We got to go. Let's go. Let's go. Take it to the cage, Jackie. Let's go. I want to take it to the cage.

I want to go meet them, though, and I want to feel how sweaty they are afterwards. You know, I, this is, prepared to hear something very ridiculous sounding for me, but I was thinking about taking up, like, a martial art of some kind coming soon. Well, you know, I'm starting to try to get more into shape and stuff, and I'm starting to meditate as well, and I'm like, hey, combine the two.

Because I feel like that's a lot of what these sort of martial arts are all about. Are you going to buy a ghee? I'd love to have a geese. I definitely want a gee with a big fucking weed leaf on the back of it. Absolutely. Fucking stop it in Greenbelt, baby. 420, just get all ripped out of my mind and go in there and just be like, I'm so fucked up.

They're just like, get on the ground. And they just hold me down on the ground. Wait, maybe I'm wearing a BDSM all stone. Now that I think about it. I'm on board, man, but is this going to be like the last time you worked out? Are you going to buy all this stuff and then not do it? So it's just going to be you sitting in your ghee on the couch and being like, man, I could have done it. I could have gone to the class.

I got brutally taken advantage of at my weakest moment. I was going through a horrible breakup and I was just trying to like take some boxing lessons. This guy was like, no, you got to get into this bodybuilding stuff. Look, I'll get you on the regiment. It was so much money. It was an obscene amount of money. I got like a workout bench, all these free weights. Is that where the workout bench,

they ended up just being like a place to sit on in the living room? Yeah, just smoke weed, yeah. Why, I realized, like, no, I just want to go on a run, like, a few days a week. And originally I wanted to go do the boxing lesson things. I heard that's a really great way to work out. And he was like, no, man, we're going to go crazy. I went to this, like, bodybuilding gym that's in Queens that I had to take, like, two trains to a bus to get to, and it's six in the morning.

And I was like, this is not me. No. You know, but I was just, you just, oh, man, I'll tell you what. Just catch, you gotta look, just look up on Facebook recently broken up people if you're one of these bodybuilder types and just hit them up and just be like, that's when you get them. They'll spend an obscene amount of money. They don't care anymore. They don't care what they spend their money on in those fucking three months that you're weeping about old Susie with her fucking, with her friendly eggs that she makes you and shit. I'm all riled up.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to rile you up. I just love seeing that workout bench just sitting in the living room for so many years. So many years. I also had another complaint to make when you're talking about like, oh, it's Nerd Week, and I'm doing a tabletop RPG, and I think I've voiced this before, maybe on Roundtable of Gentleman or something like that, when non-nerdy at all girls or women go, I'm such a dark, just because they, like, play Super Mario, like, once a year. You know what I mean?

I'm such a dark. I don't say that. I'm not saying I'm a nerd. You're going. You're heading in that direction, and it's a slippery slope, Jack. I am a goth queen, yes, and that is something that I am cultivating right now. You're not a goth queen. You just started wearing mesh like six months ago.

Yeah. And I'm ready for it. I am, okay, I'm a caterpillar. Okay, I was a caterpillar and I went into a chrysalis. And now I'm a fucking butterfly. And if you guys have a problem with it, you can go screw. We're being mean men to you. And we want, on behalf of me and just me, because I'm not going to speak for Marcus.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you very much. I appreciate you. And I'm sorry, I called you a nerd. No, I'm not. I take that back. Wow.

100% wow. Marcus, do you have anything to say to Holden? Do you have anything to say to me? To Holden, I stand by every statement I uttered. I don't think you said a false, a falsery to me at any. point in our entire relationship. In the entire relationship, all these years, not one falsery? No falseries.

I mean, maybe I was like, hey, you hungry? And he just said no, because he just didn't want to, like, get into it once. But, like, other than that, I think we're pretty much 100%. Pretty straight shooting between the two of us, yeah. I can't imagine you ever offering anyone your food. Got too big of them out. But either way. No, you're just, you know, you're working out now.

you got to get those extra cows. You got to keep it up. I know. Yeah, I'm a workout. I'm a nerd. I'm a gop. And I'm a workout goddess. Don't work, guys.

I'm all about it. My lovely fiance, Lexi and I are both trying to lose weight for this wedding coming up. Our wedding, not the 100 other weddings happening around us. But I'm doing like intermittent fasting and I cut out beer and I'm running and she just started keto and keto takes your life over and keto fucking sucks. And it's like, oh. there's just nothing but like fat in my fridge right now and like weird shit and she makes it's making her emotional you know what I mean when you know it's the diet you're like I'm

know you're better in yourself but you're fucking scream it you're crying right now with a just a giant panful of bacon oh yeah oh wait what why do you why do why do you why do you blame hormones why is that a thing you know it just makes you emotional I think when you alter your diet like that you just when you alter your state of being it's not a hormone I'm not saying she's being womanly. I get hungry. Yeah. Yeah.

She's just freaking out because her body's used to carbs and shit, and she's freaking the fuck out. And she got really sick. I hate keto. Wait, what is keto? Is that just, like, meats? It's just like meat and good fat and no carbs. And you have to get into a ketotonic state. And you can measure it, too.

You can measure it if you have proper ketones. And you essentially just deprive yourself of all, like, fat, of all carbs and other things. And it's just so drastically alters the way you live your life that it is a madman's challenge. It's literally like, oh, I'm going to, you know, I'm going to see what doing cocaine all day, every day does. You know what I mean? Although that would be a fun time until you died. It would be a pretty fun time until you died. Yeah, try it for a couple of weeks.

Way back in, uh, ought seven. If only I could have known you back then. What was, what was that, Marcus, like? Uh, solitary. Really? I spent a lot of time, like, listening to, uh, what I would say listening to the talking heads, uh, and drawing on a table with a magic marker. You were one of those lonely blowboys.

Yeah, real, but I'd go out every once in a while and then hang out with a couple of people in some Lower East Side bars and then go back home and listen to fear of music again. Yeah, dude. Yeah. I feel like when I was in my hardcore speed addiction, I also just, uh, I mostly just cross. and screamed a lot. But also to myself, because no one wants to be around that, you know? It's no fun being a blowboy.

It's never any fun. This is a good PSA today, guys. You know what, good for us. Don't do keto. Don't be a blowboy. This is great. Yeah. Don't be a speed queen.

Yeah. Don't be a speed queen. But wait, I think that keto does work for a lot of people, though. It definitely makes you drop mad weight, mad fast. But it's one of those where it's like, yeah but then like are you just going to not eat you're only going to eat like avocados and bacon for the rest of your fucking life no obviously not so you gain all the weight back

whatever if you need to lose it I think for something like a wedding and then you just like go back to it because we're ready to just be huge like C-9 we're ready to be big as big as the living room you know what I mean with two giant recliners oh yeah I can't wait till your big years like your really big years so excited I watch myself with a rag and a stick I hope that you guys are quoting something and it's not just something you guys say all the time.

That's just our thing. That's what we do. No, rag on a stick is not a private joke between the two of us. I wish we had to have a rag and a stick. That would be, though, if there ever was one. I wish that it was. Just you guys washing yourselves all alone. I can't wait for your fat ears because I think that, like,

you and Kisel will probably move into the same building again, you know, and I think that that will be a lot of fun. Of course. We'll definitely be living in the same house again at some point in our lives, Kissel and I, definitely. It won't be probably the high point of my life. But who knows? Maybe we'll find some blessings there. Yeah, you'll get visitations every other weekend. Yeah, I'm so arrested. Uncle Ben could, you know, entertain the kids for a little while while you'd go out and have your alone lunch. Oh yeah, I mean, I'm going to drop off my kids to you guys constantly if I ever squeak them out.

Oh, my God. There's so many uncles. Go hang out with the uncles. I don't want to deal with you right now. Right, right. You got to deal. And I've been thinking about this like I was talking about every day when I do my Twitch, right, I do a Twitch stream. And every day when I do my Twitch stream, I literally, I always talk about, I'm like, and here's the part where my super screams at her children in the hallway.

I think it's how she communicates with her children is literally just to go like, All right. Wait a lot. Wait a-ah! She's like Hungarian or something. Mm-hmm. And just screaming at the top of the longsum, just like, that's not going to create good things.

No. No. No, no, no, no. But you can't judge. My mother would do, like, the really quiet. Ooh. When she was upset. It's like, I'd almost rather be screamed at.

It's like, if I got to get close to you, you hear what you have to say, I don't want to be that close. You're really mad right now. I remember it was, I used to, you know, always just be like, sorry, sorry, like not really mean it or whatever, or just to get her to stop. She'd be like, don't sorry, don't do it. Yeah, mine always started off with a real loud, damn it. Like, I knew when I was like, damn it, Marcus?

Like, that's what I knew. That's so Texas. Yeah, yeah. That's so Texas. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that was when the bad times came. That's when you run. Run, Marcus, run.

That's when, you know, dad would say, like, Marcus, you know, if mama ain't happy, ain't no one happy. And I have taken that advice for the rest of my life. And it is very true. So true. It is true. If the house ain't happy, ain't nobody happy, because I'll be screaming for hours. Just random, though, nothing intelligible. Just, ah!

It's like, what did we get her? I don't know. Change her diaper. I don't know. Feed her a burger. It's usually a burger. It's usually a burger I need. We'll rake my leaves and squeeze my pumpkins.

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Use promo code page 7 to get $10 off your first box. That's over $200 for only $39.99. Go to Fabfitfund.com and use my code page 7 to get $10 off your first FabFit Fun box. Yeah, MF or B, get yourself a trip effort for yourself. for all your gifts and for your smiles. But what about horse mances? I love it. Marcus, did you ever have a horse mants in your life?

I have a horse mants with pretty much any horse I see. I love horses. I get up to a horse and I walk up so you let him sniff your hand. And you just pat him on ahead and you go, hey horse. Hey, horse, how are you doing? You all hang out with me. Yeah, you do. Yeah, you do not.

And we'll hang out for a little bit. and, you know, just kind of had pet. You're scaring us. Yeah, you're frightening us. There's no way the horse is cool. There's no way that horse is calm and collected.

Yeah, horse is totally common collected. You're talking to like a gremlin. Usually when you talk to something sweet, it's like, hey, you want to hang out? You're going, hey, you want to hear, yeah. Your normal voice is less frightening than that voice. You made your voice scarier to talk to the horse. That's my sweet voice.

That's the, that's the target. Oh, my animal. Oh, my God. That's talking to animal voice. Hey, little boy. Hey, Hey, little girl. How are you doing?

Nice, hey. Can't go in the back of the throat. That's always menacing to all, everyone. No, my little dog. No, Georgie loves it. I go, hey, little girl, how you doing? Can we tell, though, whether the dog is frightened or not. Can we know?

I know when the dog is frightened. The dog runs away when she's frightened. She's very skittish. But when I talk to her, she's very happy with it. She's very sweet. Put your ears back. It makes me think of it, though, right? It just sounds like an it voice.

Oh, yeah, well, no, that's always, that's the fun thing about the dog, is that you go, Georgie, and then she comes and she loves it. I forgot. Yeah, that's really cute. Yeah. You should give her red balloons. Are you going to do something for Halloween with Georgie, though? I'm sure we'll figure out a little something. You got to give her a little outfit.

Have you talked on this show about Wendy's little wedding dress? Have you spoken about that? I think I've talked about the wedding dress, but it's the cutest thing of all time. She showed it to a picture. Yeah, it is adorable. She sent me a picture as well. It's very cute.

Well, there you go. Everybody's got it. Now the fucking fans probably have a picture as well at this point. I love the picture of Wendy in her wedding dress. Oh my God, she's going to be so cute. And she's not going to know what's going on. And we're going to have to get her down the aisle somehow. But how do you do it when her mom is behind her?

Yeah, you were talking to. about this. I say you just do this. You know, football style, just flinger over to the aisle, you know what I mean? How dare you? Always land on their feet. They always do it. You know what, either way.

Underhand like a softball. Yeah. And then someone will catch her. No one is Wendy punting. There will be no Wendy punting happening at the wedding, okay? Punting tossing. Okay, a nonchalant toss. I guess I can get behind that. Let me sell Henry and Adelaideon and I think I can figure it out.

You go for it. Hell yeah. Holden, have you ever ridden a horse? I believe I have, but it is definitely not something I've done very much. It's not something I've done since childhood. I have no issues with horse. I'm not one of those people to have an issue with a horse. But I will say the thought of you riding a horse made me laugh internally just now

trying to even imagine. Yes. See, because I was thinking about you on a horse and I also think that's very funny. I would crush it, I think. I think I would get, you know what I mean? No, they're so big Oh yeah, but I'm a big boy At the end of the day

I'm a big toy boy So I'll get up on there I'll let him smell my fucking hand or whatever I'll probably be more like Hey, hi Let me make you my friend For me to be my friend for me That's so much worse

Than when I was doing What are you talking about? That's so much worse That's so much worse I sing this little song No no It's because you're talking to him out You do a little horse.

I just want to watch you try and climb up on a horse. See, that's where I would go wrong. I don't even think I could get up onto a horse. You could. Unless I had a big old cowboy. You got the upper body strength for it. That's what it takes. It takes upper body strength.

Put your foot on the stirrup, grab the horn, and then pull yourself up and over. Well, I'll have Charlie show me someday. Yeah. How about your flexibility, though? Don't you really have to kind of be able to get that leg up and over? You do need to be able to get the leg up and over. You do need to be able to get the leg. up and over, but it's not as hard as you think it is.

There you go. Well, I definitely, I definitely know I can put my legs behind my head, so I'm pretty sure I could do it. That's fine. I've been doing my Turkish get-em-ups, so I know I'll be able to get my leg over there. Your Turkish get-em-ups? I think that's what they're called. I know they're called Turkish somethings, but whatever they are, they're very difficult to do, and you have to have your hand up over your body, and you have to

stare at the weight the entire time, and it's about getting down on the ground and contorting and then getting back up, but without using your hands. It's very difficult. Turkish get them up! And every time we do it in class I go, get them up, get them up, get them up. But I don't think they're called get them up, get them up. So no one really understands what I'm doing.

I'm a bit of a class clown when it comes to the gym. You really do. I mean, you sound like a cut up. I am a cut up, but it's mostly not appreciated. Mostly it's to myself and then I'm just the creepy one in the class talking to myself making jokes. Right. I've been that person before one time. I was in a bowling class and it was like,

it was bowling class in college. The whole point was to get really high. You can bowl once a week and get class credit for it. And I sat down with these two frumpy dump ladies and they were like a couple of no funds. They were like freshmen. I was like in my groove. I had a bunch of friends.

College was super fun. You could tell they were not having a good time. And I got down. I was like, we get to just fucking bowl. It's going to be so much fun. And I started joking around and stuff. And they were just like, no.

And just whispered at each other the whole time. I was so. So mad. Yeah. All you want to do is be fun and have fun in situations like that. Whether you're bowling or at the opera or, you know, eating a subway sandwich, you want to say to the cashier guy, like, oh, it's a big old owl. Looks like a big fucking dick, huh? What I mean?

Just to get a little rice out of them. Yeah, he just started jaeing off all the breads. And then everyone's like, yeah, hold it at the subway. I'm jerking the sandwich. I'm jerking the sandwich. He's like, it is rush hour. It is lunch rush. and I'm just jerking this

and the mano squirts out at the end and then you're just like uh-oh Me-come me-come. That's why you need the mayo boat I was talking about the mayo boat again the other day See I was being one of those I was over at the Ralph's having a sandwich made and I told them about the mayo boat or the mayo moat excuse me

and they really didn't appreciate it. What's a mayo moat? When you take out some of the middle of the bread so that you can fill it up to the to the bread level with mayo so when you have your sandwich and it squeeze a little bit so it squirts out of the moat onto the other sides but it doesn't come out of the sandwich oh okay so you're just

eat how many like so that's a lot of mayo it's a lot of mayo I really like mayo I really really like mayo not too much mayo because then too much mayo then it makes I don't want to meat to be slighty in my throat right right like I can deal with eating some duck because it's just the right amount of greasy. Oh, I forgot to ask Henry. We got him camel jerky. I wonder if he liked it. You know, you can eat camels.

Yeah, you can eat anything. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, they had a bunch of camel jerky, but I felt weird about eating camel jerky. Yeah, I like eating weird animals, like alligator and stuff like. I haven't done like bugs or anything, but, you know. I feel like gator, though, it's like they are a nuisance. So at the same thing, there's so many of them. It's how you feel about them.

Eat some gater. And you have it a. affinity for camels? Yeah, one hump or two. I think it's always a funny joke. What's the joke? Hey, hey, hey camel. One hump or two. Because they're fucking, what? Because they have humps. Yeah. Hey, come on. You know what, guys, don't tase me, bro. Don't be at this. Don't tase me, bro. I'm not tasing you. I'm not tasing you. I'm tasing a little. I feel like y'all are tasing me. I can see it. You know, one hump or two. You know, one hump or two. two, it's always funny to ask a camel then. I mean, look, I've definitely been talking behind your back.

But besides that, I'm not tasing you right now. Thank you. I appreciate that. I'm trying to bring back Don't Taze me, bro, in casual conversation. And you know what? It really works. And it really truly makes people upset. Well, you got a fun new taser. Do you have it with you? Oh, I don't have my taser with me. No, it's so cool. She got a crazy new one. A new one? Yeah, a new one.

So you got two tasers now? Now I got two tasers. The other one was a little big. Her boyfriend had a bad dream that she got messed all, a dude got her all in the way, and he woke up and he was so furious he bought her a taser. Wow. Is that crazy? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because it's like, it's a handheld taser that you can put your fingers through so it's like a brass knuckles.

Yeah. And then on the other side of it, it's got two pointy things so you can jab it in their neck. Yeah. Wow. A true instrument of death. Yes. Have you been tased? Have you been tased before?

I've never been. I've been shocked real bad, but I've never been tased. I think that she needs to give herself a little of that medicine if she's going to be wielding that weapon. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, it's like, that's what the cops do, is that you can't carry a taser or use to your gas until you get to, or a gun,

unless you get shot. I don't know. Taged gas and shot in the thigh. Shot in electric chair. Just in case you arrest someone who's been sent to death row. That's a lot. That's a lot to take in. It's a lot.

It's intense. It's intense. I don't think I can handle being tased, though, because we were talking about this yesterday, so it's like, so you lose your bowels, can you imagine how much I would complain after I got tased? Just sit on the toilet and do it. What? Just sit on the toilet and do it with your pants around your ankles and film it and put it on YouTube and scream, oh my God, I beep my stupid pants.

You know what I mean? I'll let Henry do it. I think he would get great joy out of doing it. I think that's true. No, I think it would actually take multiple times for me to be set up on the. the toilet. Ready? And I'm like, go ahead.

Taze me. Taze me. I'm saying tase me, bro. Brother. But I'll change it to tase me, brother. And I think that it would take a couple of times for him to actually get up the gumption to do it. Maybe.

Because I'm his sister and because he likes me as a sister. It can't hurt that bad. Getting shocked hurts pretty bad. Have you been shocked? I have been shocked. Electric fence? Yes. Interesting how I was able to call that.

It's not hard. Did he whizz? Did he whizz? Did you pee? Oh, no, no, no. But that did happen to my, no, actually, I think that's a myth, right? Right? But I'm saying, did you, on the electric fence?

Did you pee yourself? No, I did not. It wasn't that bad. But the myth is true, or is, uh, it is true that you can pee in certain lakes and a tiny little parasite will fly up into your pee hole. Yeah, that is true. Yeah. But yeah, if you have peepees, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

If you have peepees in a lake, then bugs go up your asshole? In a certain, in a certain part of the world, there are bad little parasites that will kill you. The dreaded candy, you. Yes. Wow. They will kill you. They'll swim up your P-stream and go into your dickhole and they'll fuck you up from the inside. Just like that first time your heart was broken, Jackie. Just like that first time. We better cry twice today. Yay. I'm a butterfly. I'm a butterfly. I'm a butterfly. I'm a butterfly. I'm free. Butterfly and dickworms. Free of them dickworms. You're going to get dickworm. Everyone's going to see. And then you're going to lose a bunch of you're waiting, you're like, good for me. I'm doing it, but it's really just going to be the worms are eating all the food for you, and then you're

going to get, you're going to come, Gallum. Nerdweek! Nerdweek! Gollum! Ooh, the candiru's also known as the toothpick fish or the vampire fish. Yeah. And the smaller varieties of it

will swim up and camp out in the urethra. It's a little catfish. Oh, they put up a little tent. I think maybe you should start going noodling for toothpick fish. Yeah, I mean, maybe if I want to, I feel like that's a good way to go out. You know what I mean? You might as well just go. It's like a river runs through it, but instead of fly fishing, they're just getting fucking

horrible fucking parasites up their penis hole. You know what I'm saying? Oh, man, but you'd look so thin before you died. That's the only good part about those parasites. Right. Is you lose so much weight. It's the secret That's a goop secret

Yeah but then you go past it You don't stop There's a window And then you just waste away It's like that Stephen King book Thinner I was gonna say Neatful things

That guy had dick problems In that book too Yeah I remember That's the only thing I remember that book About that book Because he had penis problems Pissed Fire

Nerd Week Never I don't think I don't think that's a problem though I think that's just badass I think that's something you put on your Tinder It's like, I piss fire Well I mean I'm at least gonna try and see it

When I pee I scream like a demon That's not a super power That's not one of those things I don't think Yeah me and my RPG I've been having a lot of fun though Don't you worry guys I'm excited to talk about this Jackie I cannot believe this day has come

But I get it because like I'm literally with my lovely fiance Lexi, who before I got together with her, knew nothing of video games or the anime. And right now, we're cruised. We just finished the Anjanus Evangelion, and we're cruising through Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood. So, you know, everybody can adapt and change. But Jackie, of all people, I would never have assumed you would ever be doing a

tabletop RPG. So I'm dying to know how it went. I've gotten little tidbits. But what's the, first of all, what's the RPG you're playing? And then like, yeah, and then how did it all go? How did it go down? What's your character sheet look like? There's a lot on it.

And it's called Shadow Run. And it's in the future world. And it's a very cyberpunk drug-fueled kind of thing. And there are trolls and there are orcs and that kind of stuff. But I'm an old woman. Essentially, I'm Lily Tomlin and Grace and Frankie. Except I'm an anarchist. And I'm a counterfeit.

And I've got a bionic arm that gives out doses to people and makes them die. And I've got a dart shooter. And then I put my serums that I make because I live in a bunker and I make all this shit myself. And I hate all forms of control. So I just want to watch the world burn. But I'm an old woman, so I'm stealthy. And then people want to talk to me because they think I'm just an old woman. There you go.

What is your dexterity bonus? but that was apparently the good thing you were about to say three I hoped it I couldn't tell if it was a good thing or a bad thing so you know I went halfway but you were in good hands so to speak you didn't have to worry about the numbers so much

were you guys using pin and paper rolling actual dice yeah yeah doing the whole thing in fact we even have like the like map thing that you draw out on like a dry erase paper that's made for these games to like make the different environments they go through. And we all have different Lego pieces that Jeff made to look like each one of us. And so that's a lot of fun. That's amazing.

It's a lot of fun. You know what? It's a lot of fun. But the thing is, is that I didn't realize what RPGs were. I just knew that Henry played Dungeons and Dragons for years and years and would not allow me to play it. And then in sitting and doing it, it's like, it's a lot. Yes. I mean, it gets very technical.

you're going to say it's a lot of fun. Fun, no. It's a lot. She's having such a lot of fun. She's having such hard time admitting that she enjoyed her time with it. Yeah. She's having a very hard time admitting that is actually a really good way to spend time with friends. I mean,

I'm guessing you guys weren't getting all, were you getting all lit up during the session? No, right? Completely sober. Yeah, it's kind of better that way. We had some sparkling waters and we had a bunch of snacks. It's kind of better that way. I've gotten blitzed in whatever different ways and played RPGs and it's never ever nearly as good. But if you have somebody who's just like, oh, this is what this means and this is, you know, you don't have to do all the crazy math and bullshit, I think that it's like really easy for people to get into it and get into the role of it. So what would you describe is a RPG, Jackie, now that you know what it is, quote unquote.

I would say it's a choose your own adventure game filled with improv and fun. That's pretty much it. Yeah, that's pretty much it with a little bit of math and numbers involved. But yes. And magic. Magic involved. I am also doing an RPG right now called Starfinder. And it's been super fun. We've been streaming it. Our buddy Ryan, Fike is actually the DM, which is super fun.

And yeah, it's very similar because it's like futuristic. I am playing a, what am I? I'm a reptile man. I am a reptile. No, no, but what is your character? Yeah! Yeah! My name is boom boom.

Uh-huh. And I come from a race of warring reptiles. But I did like a Dave Chappelle move. I had like a cool like TV show that got really popular. And then I started getting kind of political. And then like I just dipped out all of a sudden because it just got to be too much. So now I'm undercover on this Starfleet as like a soldier. Because I do have like basic soldier skills anyways because I come from this race of reptile military.

Uh, uh, uh, fuckers. And, um, yeah. Anyway, so it's been a lot of fun. Lexi's playing it too. She's playing a little rat creature. Nice. She's essentially rocket from Guardians of Galaxy meets Splinter. Ah, all right.

She's got like, she's. A violent sage. She is also very stealthy, Jackie. Yeah, she's very stealthy. She pilots the ship. And she's also like an operative and she can like stealth around with, she's got shurikins, which is pretty dope. But either way.

I think that you would enjoy. Jace Coxstrider, which is one of my friends' characters, who is a, he's a porn star that's got a magic dick that kills people with his dicks, but he's also magic, and he's got all these dicks. That's awesome. Jace Coxstrider, I think, is one of my favorite names I've ever heard, though. What is your name?

Dorothea Poochies, but I go by Pooch. That's fantastic. You put the lime in the coconut and put you in your armpit. Most days in October I wake up with this song in my head, and Dr. Kovach run and sprints through my practically magiced groin zones. One thing I don't usually think about, deodorant. I just swipe it on and go, but this is something I use every day, so if there's a safer alternative out there, I'd want to know about it.

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Free your mind and give it a tryers. Yeah, I'm keeping that one too. Go to caparibeautom slash page 7 to make the safe switch today. and save $5 off your first order when you subscribe. That's Kopari, K-O-P-A-R-I-Beauty.com slash page 7. Koparibeautom slash page 7. Marcus, you played Dungeons and Dragons for a really long time, right? I have never played Dungeons and Dragons once in my entire life.

I just assumed and I'm sorry. Is it because it's just never happened or are you just emphatically against it? No, it just never happened. Like when I was growing up, like I always want, especially like in junior high, I always really wanted to play it. Isn't it so weird that it's cool and okay now? I know. It's like I really wanted to play it, but, you know, I definitely did not have any friends that

were anywhere even, like, like, the friends that I had then, like, made fun of me for playing Nintendo. Right. So, it's so weird. Yeah, if that tells you anything, they called me Nintendo Boy as a perjurative. And, yeah, and then it never happened in high school because I only, like, my buddy Wes might have played, but it was just. just the two of us. Yeah, which is kind of

impossible. Yeah, yeah, that's kind of impossible. It's so weird that it's okay now. The fact that Nerdweek even exists on page 7. Yeah. I like that. I think it's a very good thing. Oh, yeah, for sure. Yeah, it enables us all of us to like make a living doing like nerd shit which is fucking awesome. Fantastic.

And you went to Comic Con this weekend, right? Marcus, because I've been to my, I went to my first Comic Con not too long ago too where it's like, it's so nice. This is like the bully side of me, but also So like the, but it does make me very happy that it's like everyone fits in at those places. No matter what, because at first it was like, I don't know anything about this stuff. I'm going to go into this thing and be like, oh, she doesn't know. But everyone was really nice and everyone was very welcoming.

Yeah, of course. But I will admit I do miss like on like New York Comic-Con like 12, 13 years ago when it was like half full on Sundays. Like I definitely, definitely miss that because it is. ass to elbows in that place. It's intense, right? But I remember even, you know, what you're speaking about, I even remember that feeling. And that's how I felt too when I went to that Games Done Quick convention

where everybody was the speed runners on video games. And I was just like, oh, my God, everyone looks like garbage here. This is great. But it was back in the day, even when I got into, like, jam bands and, like, fish and stuff like that was literally just because it was one place I could go and no one cared about the way they looked. and everyone danced like a complete idiot because it's just a bunch of fucking

for the most part white people flailing their arms around because nobody we nobody knows how to dance in this community and it was just amazing and I was like oh oh everybody looks like a fucking idiot oh okay hand me that I'm gonna fucking rip on this

and I'm just just noodle arms all day because why the fuck not so yeah I appreciate it no it's like when I went to that that camping thing and a bunch of people where they were doing the lightsaber fights like they'd all built their own lightsabers and that kind of stuff. Of course, immediately

my inside was just like, oh my Jesus Christ with the lightsaber fights. I get it. And then I watched the lightsaber fights and you know what? I even asked them afterwards how they built their lightsabers because I was interested and it was really cool. You know what? Butterfly, okay?

Look at her. I know. I know. Table top barbecue. She plays a video once a week with me. She's changed, she is, she is becoming her own woman. You should change your name. Yeah. I'm trying, but Jack A is already taken. Okay.

Do you remember how bad she used to make fun of us for playing video games? Oh my God. I have never. I mean, she still does, but oh my God. Judged anyone for playing video games. Remember how bad everyone used to make fun of us for play? Like, in our immediate friend group? 100%.

100%. Kisle's got a PS4 now. As adults. Yeah, fucking Kisle used to make fun of us all the time. And now he's texting me at 1 a.m. Be like, hey, wasn't that Dr. Octopus fight awesome? That's awesome. Which is great.

It's fucking, yeah, it's awesome. But yes, it's, oh, how the tables have turned. How the tables have turned. We just had to wait for it to be cool. And now it's cool again, guys. So you're welcome. Jackie, you know what I just realized? I mean, maybe it's, maybe it's, I don't want to get,

I don't want to get political at all. here, but I do feel like since Kanye changed his name to yay, you could take Kanye. I can just be Kanye. You're right. What about Jack Kanye? Jacanya is actually pretty good. Jacania rules. Yeah.

All right. I don't know. It sounds too cool, then she can be like Jaconnier all day. Hey, hey. I like that. Jacanier, don't taste me, bro. Don't taste taste. I think that would upset people if I start calling my saliva.

Chaconye because also it sounds like a right like it's like the Gordonia but it's like Jekonnier which I would definitely do a lot with the jerk off motion of course Of course Jekonye

Oh no now Gondya's back in my brain Every time you say it I've laughed I mean come on this is a sure shot What do you do with your life Man it just makes it which we were going to talk about Taylor Swift and now she got everybody to vote And that's great I just want to say I

It's just another Mark that I love her, that I am in love with her, okay? And that I would leave my fiance in a millisecond. If she were to be like, hello, come over, be inside my inner circle. I did a bad thing, but it felt so good. You know what I mean? It's probably what I would scream while we were just, just, just masturbating in front of each other because I don't think I could actually have sex with her.

Right. You know what I mean? But anyways. Yeah, right? But I think that, I feel like her lips aren't fun to kiss. Hmm. Hmm. No, they're so, no, she has luscious lips.

Are they lush? She has luscious lips, I think. I don't know what she, I couldn't imagine what it would be based off of her songwriting. Like, I just feel like falling in love when it comes to her and the other person is, it's got to be so deep and intense. Also, in the, is she not a lesbian with this supermodel or whatever? He's apparently delicate is about her and this, like, this supermodel woman that she may be and she even implied, like, personal reasons for why she was supporting LGBTQ past. Anyways, I don't want to get too political, but I'm just saying she's a lesbian.

I think that's wonderful, and I want Taylor Swift to be happy, but I don't appreciate all of the Serpent Queen stuff because that is for Riverdale, and that's ours. That's ours. Serpent Queen, yeah, Serpent's Queen. I mean, if we're on talk about Serpent Queen here, I mean, because we are, it's here. I know I'm so obscene. It is tonight.

Riverdale is premiering tonight. And we're going to get back with Riverdale Roundup next week. But did you see that Gina Gershawn is playing Jughead's mother? No. I mean, a little too hot. Maybe a little too hot. What are you talking about? The only other.

You look at FP and you look at hot, hot, hot jughead. His mother has to be that hot. But the thing is that FP still like, he still pulls off, you know, Skeet Ulrich pulls off that like dirty hot. Like he kind of pulls off the kind of like trashy hot. Right. Gina Gershoun's too classy. Right.

Right. Well, he's too classy for the role. But she's going to be a shady businesswoman that owns the dump, I believe. So I bet they're going to josh her up a little bit. She owns the dump, the town dump. Yeah, she's been. So she's been, but that's, I always imagine that her and, uh, Jelly Bean were off in Columbus, Ohio, like living in a two-bedroom apartment.

I never imagine that she was running the Riverdale dump from afar. They are both, she and Jelly Bean, the little girl, are both grifters. Interesting. Hardcore grifters. And I am going to be there to, hold it, are you caught up yet? Oh, yeah. Don't you talk to me until you have a... Oh, yeah.

That's it. You're not going to the wedding this weekend. You have Riverdale to watch. When Veronica was like, I've got snail skin. And she holds her hand up. And it's just this dripping kind of goo falling off her skin. Look at my snail skin. Season two episode six.

Yeah. Like, big reveal. And I was like, wow, I can't believe they would just say big reveal in the actual moment where the big reveal was. I've never seen that on a TV show. That's not what happens. It's magical. That episode where the smell of vision was cool. where you've got those little cards in the mail

and you'd scratch and sniff them in certain parts, right? That was happening in Riverdale, correct? Jackie, did you watch the trailer for this season that came out a few days ago? Oh, yeah, dude. Wait, also, I don't think that we've actually talked about this on the show, but I have been talking about it almost every single day in my actual life. Did you see the trailer for the Sabrina show?

I did. It actually looks fucking awesome. I'm into it. Oh, honey. Oh, I am going to watch the? hail out of that show. I am so excited and I think it's coming out soon. It is. I've got a tiny bit of skepticism for it.

I got a little bit of, I got some skepticism here. It could very easily go one way or the other. It could be like super fucking cool or it could be a little, uh... Too much. Yeah, a little much. A little much. I understand. So I'm reserving judgment, but I was honestly impressed by all of the occult imagery

in the trailer. It looks like they actually did their homework on it. Oh, wow, that's cool. And there, it's like, I think that the big bad guy, too, is a priest. Like, they're going up against the church. Nice. Which is fucking outrageous. I can't wait.

I think I can maybe get Henry to watch it with me. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe. He really hates teen dramas. I'm just ecstatic, speaking of, kind of speaking of teen dramas, that I am almost done with the original run of Twin Peaks. Oh, you never watch that?

Almost don't. But my God, the Meyer, that is the Heather. Graham, like episodes. Fucking Lord help us that is such a weird. Yeah. Just trial. Good, good four episodes. It kind of like the Meyer reaches, definitely reaches its low point at the, what is it?

The fashion show. That's where I'm at. Yeah. And then, yeah. The muskrat, though, got loose at a different. At the fashion show, right? The fashion show. No, but there was, they're about to do Miss Twin Pets.

peaks. No, no, no, I'm not talking about... You're talking about the fashion. I'm talking about the fun-raising. It's loose is such a Jump the Shark episode. What? That's easily the word, like, that is the lowest point of the show. That's, that after that, it starts coming back up again.

Slightly coming back up. It's just the final episode's good, right? That's the whole deal. The last two or three are really fucking awesome. But specifically the last episode is so good. Yeah, that's what I. gotta get to but the fucking, I'm so glad you brought that moment up because I was just watched. I was like, is this when it's bad?

It's like hard to tell after a while because the movie, the show is so, you know, dependent on sort of its own weirdness to be great. So it's like, after a while, it's like Stockholm Central and I'm like, wait, is this brilliant weirdness? No. Or is this fucking bizar weird out? It's bad decisions. It's nothing but bad decisions by the script writers and the directors.

Oh, unbelievable. And the actors. Don't forget about the actors. Firewalk with me is... Oh, yeah, motherfucker. It is. Okay, okay, good. I need that reassurance because, like, I'm starting to lose a grip on the whole scenario with this show.

Firewalk with me is fucking amazing. Okay, cool. So good. It's classic, classic lunch. Right, okay, then I will be happy to watch it. Jackie. I'm about to watch my beau has never watched Friday Night Lights, and bitches I'm all make him watch out of my beginning.

And I'm going to watch it with him. And I'm so excited to watch it again. It's very sad how excited I am. Are you think he's going to like it? I think he's going to love it. Awesome. I think he's, because he loves Riverdale. Like, he's definitely into all that kind of stuff.

Oh, then he'll be fine. If he loves Riverdale, he'll be fucking fine. Yeah, Friday Night's is like a better version of Riverdale. That's, it's so hard when you sit. I mean, I mean, looking at it critically. Critically, yes. Critically, yes. If Friday Night Lights is a better show.

Is Riverdale more fun? The answer is yes. Yes, for sure. But Friday Night Lights hits you in the heart a lot more. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, it can actually handle, like, very real situations that are pertinent to, you know, to people's lives. Wait, we're talking about Riverdale? No, we're talking about Friday Night Lights.

Yeah, excuse me. Friday Night Lights can very much handle very serious situations that people deal with in day-to-day life, such as, you know, racism and abortion and all sorts of other things. Anytime Riverdale Try it's the only two things Anytime Riverdale Even tries to Get within 20 feet

Of any of those issues Boy, how do you fall on its face? Yeah, but then it immediately just goes like Ooh, sorry, isn't this weird though? Like, yeah, it's weird and it's sexy. The amount of, like, I just, It's bringing me like flashbacks of like trying to get like a partner into a thing

that you love and just watching it not happen in front of your face. It's ever happened to you guys before? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, definitely, you know, it happens sometimes, and that's okay. Everyone likes different things. It's totally fine. For me, it was, the first one I can think of was with Lexi, and it was Portal 2.

I was like, this will be the great, the gateway, like, into video games, I'll show her portal, and then we sat down to play it, and not only could she not just understand the basic controls, there was the whole layer of a puzzle element on top of it that made it impossible for her. And I just remember we had to, it was after 30 minutes, I was like, okay, honey,

let's go do different now things. That's how I talk when I'm scared and hurt. Yeah. But man, it's rough. Yeah, it's a rough time. Yeah, it's rough when it don't work out. Oh yeah, I had to watch crank one and crank two back to back

as he just like looked at me and being like, is this great? Isn't this great? And you know what? It was a lot of, I did enjoy it, but he loves it. Right.

Like you see it so many times. And I understand the appeal. I enjoyed it. But I don't need to see it again. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Cranc, really? Crank, huh? The crank movies.

It actually is, they are fun. They're great. They are great. No, but what an odd thing to become obsessed with. It's just when something's so stupid and so ridiculous that you just love it, you just, you start to wholeheartedly enjoy it. I get it. Well, speaking to people who are constantly in the blind items, we don't have time for the list today. but let's go to Blind Adam!

We can't see him! The boyfriend of this permanent A-list singer wants a raise before he'll marry her. Ariana Grande, no. Nope. Pete Davidson. No, no, no, no. Interesting, though, because he did just get that cover-up

of one of her tattoos inspired by Ariana Grande, which I find interesting. But boyfriend won't marry him. Blake Shelton and Gwen Stefani. No, no, no. I don't really know the guy, but the girl is very famous. It's been famous for, I would say, 20 years now.

Katie Perry. No, 20 years or so. Famous since we were in high school. Fuck. Since we were in high school, who's not married right now? Britney Spears. Britney Spears. Her boyfriend is demanding a raise in his weekly allowance before he'll agree to marry.

Or so the blind had him say. So they have a setup. They got a setup, yeah. That's so weird. He's a kept boy. Right. But have you seen him? you know

I've definitely seen worse kept boys before that's for sure his name is Sam Asgari Ass yeah but then they like do these like dance videos together on Instagram and they they are cute together

it sounds it's just gotta be so weird to just get like an allowance I don't know I've just got to be it's such a bizarre thing to me that I guess it makes sense you know at the end of the day if you're holding your own it's cool but it's just so strange I feel like I'm like, are we in the 50s? What is happening?

You know what I mean? Real weird stuff. Yeah, yeah. And I would just lose my mind. Yeah. I would just become, like, the Citizen Kane wife putting puzzles together all day and just fucking, you know what I mean? What are you gonna come in here for? Why are you going to?

Just put me in a box in one of you warehouses. That was so good. There's been, I've seen Citizen Kane like two million times. I love it. It's so good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, there's nothing like Citizen Kane and compared to than fucking crank two.

That was really, I don't know. That was shockingly. That was really good, Marcus. Thank you. Well, it's just one of the fun. You guys have, like, fun voices that you do when you're alone. That's one of the fun ones that I do when I'm alone. Yeah, one of mine's, hey, oh, why you, why you, why you?

That's one of my favorite. A lot of barracuda mouth. I go, but I just do it to myself. I'm going to bring your cheese. You will do my cheese. That's a failed pop singer that's now selling cheese door to door. I like it.

Yes. It's nice. Here's our other blind item today. This former A minus list, mostly movie actress, has a new reality show coming out. In it, she pretends. she has a boyfriend her age, maybe a little more.

It's the club owner. Not true. She didn't want the cameras to show off the 70-year-old guy who is the owner's father and who she is really in bed with. That's not awkward at all. Let's see. Lindsay Lohan. Shit, one shot, Jack.

Damn. But she's got a reality show coming out, right? Yeah, yeah, and apparently the club owner that's supposedly her boyfriend in this reality show, she ain't fucking him. She's fucking his dad. That's awesome. Damn. But I mean, you know, Lindsay Loand, we've talked about this.

She's definitely going through, she's got some issues. Got a time. She's having a time. But you know, at the same time, it's like, if you're so busy yachting, wouldn't it be nice to be with someone in their 70s? It's like, how about we don't yacht tonight? How about we just lay in bed? We'll chew on some, I don't know, Carmelos.

What are they? You know, and just like, have a time with it. And he, like, licks on her ear. He falls asleep. Done. I'd guess that she's probably yachting with 70-year-olds. Sixties at least. Yeah.

I mean, they got the money. Yeah, they do. They got the money. They got the money. And they got the low hand. But she don't, I guess she does need the money, though. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, she's an expensive gal. Yeah. Yeah, she is. She needs some help. She needs some help. But you know what? Give an old man the Tootsie roll. Everyone loves a Tootsie roll.

Mm-hmm. That's so true. You see that Tootsie roll. Let me see you're not tootsie. That's what I meant, though. Oh, okay. So you're talking about that tutzy roll. I was thinking about just how fun it would be to even just watch an old man eat tootsy roll from time to time. You know what I mean?

I can't. No, I really, I can't handle watching old people eat. Really? Really upsets me. I used to just go to old folks home during lunchtime. Loved the stuff. And that's where we got to end for today. Thank you very much for joining us, Holden.

You're welcome. I love to do it. I know you do. And please check out Holden's show The Wizard and the bruiser. Soon I'm going to be doing something on it, and it's going to be great. That's going to be great. I'm such a nerd.

Don't talk to me. You're such a nerd. Such a dark. I like Harry Potter, so I'm such a dark. And I hope to be doing it as well for something that is actually nerdy. I can't wait to ask you guys about it, and so I'll go, oh, that's funny. You know, Jackie, I will talk all day about the VAT system. You just ask me and I'll tell you everything you need to know.

It sounds like the tubes that the slime comes through and double dare. Is that what you guys are talking about? Not too far off. Yeah, I mean, yeah, pretty far off. Yeah, and check out Jack and he's dating sims on my Twitch stream. Jackie joins me every week. We get really horny playing dating sims. Twitch.com.

Hell yeah. And we usually do that at 3 p.m., which is rough. my time at 6 p.m. Eastern Standard Time. And if you like what you're hearing, please check out our Patreon page. That is patreon.com slash page 7 podcast. We got some fun stuff on there. We're going to have even more fun stuff on there soon because it's spooky, oaky month and we got some scary movies to watch.

And I can't wait. Please don't tase me, bro. And guys, we will talk to you. We're going to have many tales next week about the great last podcast network wedding that will occur this weekend. Yes, indeed. I'm scared of it. I'm going to be fine.

We're all going to be fun. Love you guys. Hey. Bye.