Page 7 - Episode 275: Private Garden

Episode Date: October 18, 2018

Jackie Molly and Marcus talk Netflix recommendations, songs to do CPR to and Burger King's Halloween slushies. Get your first refill pack free at http://getquip.com/page7 Get an extra 25% off when you keep all items in your box at http://stitchfix.com/page7 Robinhood is giving a free stock to build your portfolio at http://page7.robinhood.com It's spooky season over on our Patreon! Supporters get access to weekly bonus content! https://www.patreon.com/page7podcast BossaBossa, Crinoline Dreams, Funkora Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Happy Happy Halloween, Halloween, Halloween, Happy Happy Halloween, Silver Shamrock. I don't know about you guys, but it's always this time of year that immediately it just goes around and around and around and around in my head. It is from Halloween 3, which I'm throwing it out there is one of my favorite Halloween's. Welcome to page 7. My name is Jackie Zabrowski. My name is Molly Neffle. I'm Marcus Parks. I'm ready for Halloween, and I will say one thing that I got. back from Henry's wedding this weekend and I was so excited because the number one thing I was

going to do was go see the new Halloween in movie theaters and guess what? It comes out next week. Yes, it does indeed. I was so, I was just, I was brutally excited. That was the only thing I was going to do the second I got back and then nothing could possibly fit the bill. I was only fussy for the rest of the day. And you guys love it when I'm fussy. the entire universe loves it when you're fussy, Jackie. Yeah, just ham and hawn and nothing was going to be right. But how was, man, Henry had a wonderful wedding this weekend. I want to say Mazel Toff from the last podcast network.

It's a Mazel Toff weekend. It was wonderful to see everybody. And man, whew, I am exhausted and no, I did not ice the bride and groom. Oh, I was hoping that instead of giving them on the rings, you'd ice them. Well, Jackie officiated a very beautiful ceremony. I'm sure you did. I was just imagining what you were saying when I saw the pictures. I really wanted to ice them and I figured that they wouldn't be into it.

That's more of like a my wedding kind of thing. Yeah. So I'm throwing that out there, guys. I would like to be iced at my wedding if I ever get married. There's so many opportunities for it. You could like do it when you think you're going to take out the rings, which is the first, you know, I think most obvious choice. You could also do it when you're going to take out.

take out your vows. Like, okay, time for the vows, and then you go to reach for your vows, and instead you take out nice. Get them. I don't know if you guys have seen any of the ones that people have posted on the page seven Facebook page, but they're all very, it's great. It's usually, yeah, when they turn to get the ring from, like, the best man or something, and then they give them an ice instead.

And, you know, I just feel like having to explain to my mother what that is, it just wasn't worth it. Yeah. I understand completely. I will throw it out there. I did get a good old fashion wazaa in the ceremony. And I felt really good about that. Actually, that's what you opened with. I said, yeah, I said, welcome friends, welcome family, and from the words of Anheiser Bush, waza! And I felt so good about it. Wow. If I had a hat, I would take it off to you. you, Jackie. We shall doff our headphones. Please and thank you. We did have a wonderful experience and it was great to see everybody. I cried a lot. You know, what are you going to do?

Yeah. Well, I feel like it's hard to come back to reality after a wedding. I experienced a very harsh come down after my wedding because it's so magical. So I would just say my advice to you, Jackie, this week is to treat yourself to whatever, you know, Halloween movies that you are able to see, not the ones that haven't come out yet, but any other ones, because it is, it sucks to go back to like normal reality after you're just like surrounded by your love, lovely, happy friends and family, uh, for a weekend. And then you have to just turn back to the harsh world, you know? Yeah, no, it made me really sad. I did cry a good amount, but that, um, you know, that's just the name in the game. Now I'm smiling again, guys. I'm not as stressed anymore.

I wept during the ceremony, certainly. You got to. It was so sweet to look out at that whole side, and it was just all of our friends, and everybody was crying, and it made me feel so good. Yeah, and it was nice to see Henry express an emotion other than rage.

Just that one time we don't get used to it. No one gets used to it. It was the only time that will ever happen. My favorite was Kevin Barnett, from the Roundtable of Gentleman, who apparently came in right before we walked out, the aisle and he's like and everybody looked back at me thinking that it was the bride walking down the aisle it was just me alone and I sat in the back behind everybody else like man why did you

get there after this ceremony was supposed to start all right and if anyone talks to Kevin on Twitter or Instagram be sure to comment on how nasty his bandage is oh yeah yeah he was he was holding there's nothing that makes me smile more than watching a friend of ours, especially because a lot of us are not around a lot of babies. And watching Kevin Barnett hold an infant, and he has this huge, gross bandage on his hand because he had this thing cut off. I mean, it's a horrible cut. I don't know if you've seen it. It's disgusting. It was awful. Yeah, when he showed it, it started bleeding. Yeah, it's real rough. And so, but he's holding this baby, and from around, like, across the room, I'm making fun of him because he's just so stiff,

and you can see that he just, he shouldn't be holding a child. No, no, no. So Jackie starts pointing and laughing at him, and then everyone else started pointing and laughing at him. So there's a whole room of people pointing and laughing at him going like, hey, shut up, God, sure. And I was like, look at your nasty hands. You're covered in sores.

No one wants you holding there, baby. I also did the same thing to him right after the couple's first dance, which I don't like it when they do this when they're like, can all the couples please join the bride and groom on the dance floor? And he was the only one of our friends that was sitting at the table alone and I'm on the dance floor just pointing at him

and being like, you ain't got no box on it. You're all alone. Nobody wants to dance with you. I just screamed it at him from the dance floor. It was delightful. It was so good to see everyone. You guys love each other. It was a really good time

and I'm really happy for both of them so much and it was great to see everybody. But I will say what I did jump into right when I got back when I was Hemming and Hawn because I couldn't see Halloween was I started watching the curious creations of Christine McConnell because you guys have to watch this show.

What is it? What the hell is this? It is on Netflix. And I want to say that it's like a hybrid of Bob Ross, Ina Garten, Peewee's Playhouse, and Meet the Feebles.

I mean, that's a pretty good elevator pitch. Hmm. Yeah, yeah, it is a show that just came out on Netflix and I immediately started fashion through. I actually got some great recommendations because it was because of the page 7 Facebook that someone kept saying that Rose, which is one of the characters on it,

Rose is a undead raccoon. that was stitched together. She's a puppet, and she's got a big pink bow in her head, and one of her hands is actually just a fork. And she's real gross and disgusting, and a lot of people were giving me shout out saying that, like, oh, this character reminds me of you,

which I take as a compliment. As you should. And it's really, it's a very interesting show. She was an Instagram hit, and she's a baker, and she makes really weird, creepy, spooky, spooky, spooky creations. And so that's what the show is about,

but then also with her friends that they've got this like snarky, mummy cat puppet named Rankle. And then there's an also like huge, hairy, like, wolf beast that's also a part of the show. It is just a goddamn delight. Say the name of it again? It's called The Curious Creations of Christine McConnell. Okay.

Speaking of Netflix, you know what else is really good on Netflix right now? Surprisingly, the haunting of Hillhouse is pretty fucking awesome. Yeah? watch that. Is it? Yeah, I'm like two and a half episodes in. It's solid supernatural horror. A couple of the characters are a little annoying, but otherwise, I mean, that's any on, when you get a big cast, there's going to be a, you're not going to love everybody. But for the most part, yeah, great scares, cool effects, good story, great storytelling. I'm down for it. If I may make my recommendation of the week, I don't have any time to watch any of your guys' show because

because I was too busy watching the two-hour premiere of Dancing with the Stars Jr. And the one-hour second episode of it. That's right. Three total hours of Dancing with the Stars Jr. So many hours. So many. Hours.

I don't have that much time. I'm a new mother. And I was fitting in the three hours of Dancing with the Stars Jr. And I want us to talk about so many things. All in one night? No, two nights. Okay, okay. Two nights.

No, I don't have that kind of time. But, oh my God. So, you know, there's, I don't make fun of children because children are excellent and innocent. And so there is absolutely no shade I want to throw towards any of the children. I've seen the good son. I know what happens when kids are around other kids and they're not around adults. The good son. Well, one of the good sons was, in fact, the good grandson of Sarah Pays.

Trip Palin. And he is so cute and I felt terrible for him because he was clearly being used as a pawn because Bristol Palin did dancing with the stars. And so it was like in a furtherance of publicity for her kind of. What? Oh. I mean, couldn't that be said of a lot of the parents on that show? Definitely. Right?

We discussed last time. I would say most of the parents on the show that could be said about. Many of the kids are not actually famous. They just have famous parents. Scotty Pippen's daughter and Stevie Wonder's son. However, I think that Stevie Wonder's son is fantastic. He's this like cool, shy, 13-year-old who is just like has like the energy of Stevie Wonder. And he said he was like, I want to do this show because I want to set myself apart from everybody just knowing me as Stevie Wonder's son.

And I'm like, all right, fair. Totally fair. Good for you. Good for you. Scotty Pimman's daughter. seems deeply uninterested in the whole thing. Maybe she's just kind of quiet, but she does not seem to be enjoying herself.

Right. And I don't know what new products, Scotty Pippen has to push. He's just like, yeah, go ahead. He's like in the audience cheering for her. Wait, are all of the parents present while they are dancing? They're in the audience.

Oh, okay. But like Sarah Palin was there, you know, and Bristol Palin was there. And in like the opening episode, they have like a little like, meet your person. And it was like, Tripp Palin, poor Trip Palin, who, again, is the baby from the 2008 presidential campaign, was like hanging out with Sarah Palin and Bristol Palin. And then his, like, dance person came and they were like, oh, hey.

And Sarah Palin's like, hi, I'm Sarah Palin. And it was so weird. And then Sarah Palin's like, oh, Tripp is just, he's a typical Alaska boy. He likes hunting and hiking. And so then the whole time they just kept being like, oh, my God, he really doesn't want to do this. He hates this. He really doesn't want to dance. He's so shy.

And I felt so bad for him. And he tried really hard and he did a good job. But then he went home. Is he going to get kicked off pretty soon? He got kicked off in the first episode. I just feel like it was very strange to have this former presidential candidate be like, here's my grandson to use as a prop. And then Adam Rippon, who is the awesome figure skater that we all fall in love with from the Olympic.

he's one of the judges and he was very, very kind to Trip Palin, but I also just feel like the whole thing is just, the whole, Dancing with the Stars Jr. is just gay as the day is long, you know. Yeah. It's all dancing with the Stars. And it's just a little bit odd to have Sarah Palin there, you know, like I'm not trying to do any sort of toilet flush. It just feels weird.

It just felt weird. Yeah. Very, very weird. But how were they, like, how was the actual, like, how was Honey Boo Boo? How was her dancing? Honey Boo Boo is also trying to redefine herself, and I support it so much. so much. As Alana.

Oh. You know. She's like 13 or 14. She does not have rhythm. She cannot really dance. But the thing is she's a hell of it. Which I think is the most of it, right? Isn't that what they're supposed to be doing?

It is a big part of it. But the thing about Honey Boo Boo Boo slash Alana is that she can perform. She knows how to perform. You know, she has. Yeah, but is it sexy? dancing? Like, are they, like, doing, like, the touch down the sides? Like, I've seen dirty dancing. There's a lot of, like, it's like, I don't want to watch children touch each other's torsos. No, it's not like anything like, it's ballroom, but it's not like dirty dancing. It's like,

you know, the jive. And like, you know, even like the cha-cha, but it's just, and they're all doing it to like fun pop songs. It's very, it's incredibly cute. Pur baby's got a purr. And this main coon of a woman is in need of a hole and body bristle down because she filthy and she madded and ain't nobody want tooth dreads. That's why you got a quip up that top crevasse. Quip was designed to make brushing your teeth more simple, affordable, and even enjoyable. It uses sensitive sonic vibrations to massage out those tooth dreads and it's gentle enough to use on your sensitive gums.

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toothbrush. That's your first refill pack free at getquip.com G-E-T-Q-U-I-P dot com slash page 7. The only thing that I don't like about it is that they keep, they call them kid couples, which I don't like. And I think it was Scotty Pippen.

When he was talking to his daughter, he was like, oh, you've never danced with a boy before. Like, oh, be careful when you're dancing with a boy. I'm gonna be, I can't remember with Scotty Pippen or somebody, some dad told his daughter, I'm gonna be jealous, which is just like, extremely creepy. Don't be jealous of your daughter dancing

with somebody her age. And also like, they're, ballroom dancing. It might actually not be a romantic relationship. Also, they're 10. You know, they are like between the ages like 10 and 14. Yeah, and I'm watching a honey-boo-boo dance with Tristan right now. And I don't think his dad has anything to worry about in that department. Yeah, that's, you know, it's just, it's just a lot of really fabulous dancers. It's a lot of fabulous children. Let's just, yeah, yeah. The children are fabulous. And the face of the famous children, famous, you know, quote-unquote children, quote-unquote famous,

They're not quote-to-quote children. They are paired with like a, this is another slightly weird part of it, like a professional child dancer, you know, so like they're all paired with like a child who knows how to dance. Professional child dancer. Oh, that's just gross. I'm sorry. I know I guess it's nice and I'm happy that they have the opportunity to do those things.

But, uh, professional child dancer, no. It's tough. Unless they, I know, if they really, really want to do it and that's great and you support them. But then you think about Tripp, and he's forced into doing something he doesn't want to do just to live out the dreams of their parents, which I feel like a lot of them are. But that's my own problem. No, it's a very good question because, like, you know, like, I think that we all agree that, like, what happened to, like, the stranger things kids and particularly Millie Bobby Brown, like, that children that young, like, should not be subjected to fame. It's just not healthy for them. Okay, go back to school.

Do your job? Do you think? Go back to school. Right. I, I, I, like, with, like, little kids who are, like, really good dancers, there's part of me that's like, is it a little bit different? Because if you're just, if you're like, if you're, like, go to dance competitions every weekend, but you, like, aren't, like, a famous person. Is that just something that you, is that just you being a kid who really, really loves something? And so you're a dancer.

And now you're on a TV show and that's, like, kind of a big deal. But, like, is that, is kids have things that they love. And if you love dancing, isn't that okay? But I don't really know. Maybe you shouldn't be on TV when you're a kid, no matter what. But the kids, they just love to dance. I know. I'm happy for them.

I'm happy that they're dancing. I just don't want to watch it. And I'm glad that I don't have to deal with any watching of any children dancing. At least I'm assuming as of right now in the new revival of cats that I'm really excited about. Because every time you talk about this, it makes me always think of play Ms. which I know that I probably bring up every time because of Castle on a Cloud. and I really hate that in my favorite musical that I have to watch children singing

but I don't think that there are any kids in it because now that they're coming out with this stuff Molly I don't know if you saw this or not The new casting in cats I mean I've I like No you okay by that by that response You don't know the new casting in cats Jackie please Well because I had been wanting to talk about the whole Taylor Swift thing

But you know that's fine But who did just get cats? in it is a one Edris Elba. Yes, I did see this. I did see this. Yes. Yes. Okay.

All right. Yeah, I don't think there's any children in cats. I'm not too familiar with cats, but I also know that it's going to have Ian McKell and Jennifer Hudson, James Corden in it as well. James Corden, man. I really could do without that guy. I know, but I like his singing in the cars with the people and I enjoy it.

Yeah, that's fun. Kind of despite him, I feel like. I just want to make a quick programming note that while you are correct, the Castle on the Cloud is the worst song in Les Mis. I think that Gavroche is an awesome character and his song is good. He is. But you know what happens to Gavroche. Yes, we do know what happens to Gavroche.

We all do. But I think that the main reason why I'm bringing this up is because in my research of looking up Idris Elba, then of course I just started staring at pictures of Idris Elba because that's what happens every time I look him up. I found a music video of Idris Elba's of his song called Private Garden and I watched the video probably five or six times. It's a little rip-wrappy, kind of. It's more R&B than anything. But all I know is that I would like to have sex with him even more now than I did before. And I didn't think that that was possible. I guess my concern is the costumes that are kind of famous for cats. I don't want to see

Idraselba in one of those costumes. Why? His package will be delivered. Yeah, but I was terrified of the musical cats when I was a kid because those costumes are really fucking scary. Well, Idrisalba is playing the villain, Makaviti. He's a big, mean cat. They're all cats. And it's his second cat. He was also Cher Khan in the Jungle Book. Oh. Oh, yeah, baby.

And I am completely there for it. I just, in the video for Private Garden, there's a lot of, like, painting of each other. It's very weirdly sensual. And I'm not saying he's the best singer I've ever heard. Okay. But I will say that it might up your sex juices. when you watch it.

All right. That's all I'm saying. I think that you should watch private garden a couple of times, at least ten times. Because he is on a pier in Puerto Rico with some hot little thing and all he wants to do is like love her and take care of her. And something about her private garden.

I think that has something to do with like a pussy josh. I know. I'm well aware of what a private garden is. Do you think that's a pussy jure? Yeah, of course that's a pussy's yours. Seems like that's what a private garden's got to be. I don't know, but it's like he just wants it. Now I have to read the lyrics of it.

See, it's a private garden. Because secret garden, that's more of like a mine type of thing. Like a secret garden is a place within yourself that you retreat to for peace and quiet. Yeah. But a private garden. Do you want to see my private garden? Yeah, because private garden, that implies that entrance can be gained. Uh-huh.

And there are gates And you don't have to put any little boys in ice baths Which will forever You know what? I refuse to rewatch Secret Garden Forever and ever All I will ever remember from the movie Is the little boy whose legs don't work

That they put him inside of an ice bath Yeah, I think that we were all Traumatized by the Secret Garden Never saw it. He's really trying So show me where you're coming from, girl. Show me what you're running from, girl. It might take time for you to trust.

Let your guard down. Let this brother enter your private garden. Okay, I think we know what a private garden is now. Yeah. Can't believe we ever had any question about it. It's, yo, look, you've been up, you've been down, you've been lost, you've been found. From the first time we meet, this is real. Words from small talk, words for the awkward will jump to argue against the anger I feel when you tell me to.

makes me think about the past, but we go kill? But the type, this doesn't make any sense. I got to remember, Idriselver's very British. Oh, you think that that has something to do with it? Yeah, yeah. I think if you were to hear him say it like, you know, like rap it in a British accent, and I think it would make a lot more sense.

But if we're just saying, it's like, makes me think about the past, but we go kill, but this time was hurt. It's a lot more sensual when you're listening to it. Did anyone else have the experience of watching the entirety of the wire and not realizing that Idris Alba was British? Yeah. And then seeing a video of him speak and being like, oh, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Oh, yeah, baby. Oh, my God. What a delightful surprise. Oh, my God. He's so damn sexy and I just want to see it. Man, he has the entrance. He doesn't need a key. He's welcome to come in,

especially as my mother was showing me the key that she had made. So my mother is obsessed with Outlander, and I've talked about this before, because she's really into the sex. And she was talking about how she had a key made. Also, just side note, my mother was hitting on my dude friend the entire weekend. She was rubbing on his chest and talking about how tall he was. And because he was talking about how long his arms are, and she goes, you know, being tall is very attractive to a short family. And I was like, all right, mom. She told me that she thought he was wonderful.

Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. But she kept robbing on his chest. She didn't do that to me. Oh, yeah, I don't know. She was. So it wasn't like every guy at the wedding was like getting chest rubs. No, I didn't get any, I didn't get any.

I got some very loving hugs. And I am happy that you got it because I feel that, I mean, he was fine with it. My dude was, he's like, you know, your mother is very. And I was like, you know, your mother is very. And I was like, she's not being this affectionate with everybody. No. So I'm watching you, Linda. I know what's happening over there.

I see it. But then she was trying to show him because she had a ring made, I guess it's like a replica of an outlander. He's got some sort of key that's to his estate castle. And he takes the key and then like a bunch of hot metal scene, he forges it into a wedding ring for her. And so my mom had a replica of it made. And then she kept talking about how he needed to give me the key to his estate.

But then like looking at his dick when she would say it, and it was kind of making me upset. Sounds like some innuendo was happening. Yeah, I think it's a private garden. Now that I'm thinking about it, I think my mother wanted entrance into my boyfriend's private garden. I think she was saying that he should. give you entrance into his private garden. Yeah. I think that he should find the proper entrance into your private garden.

A formal entrance. Yeah. You know, not the back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, formal, not just a day pass. Like, we're talking to like full access. Full access pass. I think that I'm, do I need to start calling my squirty bird, my private garden?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The hedges are things. But once you cut through that rose patch, you'll find a big old juicy fountain. Is that what happens in a private? That's very specific. This has been so long since we've done Roundtable. I forgot how much I dislike you talking about your lady parts. Oh, my squirty bird.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I still call her that every day. She likes it, though. Her ears perk up. She likes to be talked about. So I have a question that's not about private gardens, but it is about weddings. Because Jackie, you helped me compile a lot of the songs on my wedding playlist, which I still listen to a lot whenever I need to pick me up. And I was recently in a wedding myself, and the RSVP said, what one song would you like to hear, which is something that people sometimes do for their weddings, which I think is.

fun, but I just panicked because sometimes I just say fuck it and I just choose like an obscure song that nobody else like that I like, but I know that that's rude. So I was like, I have to pick a real crowd pleaser and I got so in my head about it because I was like, well, I don't, I know the groom and the bride, but I don't really know they're friends. So I don't know what is a crowd pleaser to them, you know? And I was like, what is a crowd pleaser to everybody? And at first I wanted to suggest we belong by Pat Benatar because that has significance to me, and I think it's a crowd pleaser, but maybe it's not. And then I suggested total eclipse of the heart because I feel like that is definitely a crowd pleaser.

But also, you know, these people were a little younger than me. So I'm like, maybe they don't really love total eclipse of the heart. And so I was trying to think of like the universal language of wedding songs, you know, and what is. And I feel like obviously Whitney is always good. But it's- Heart real londere? Yeah, that one is. Happy really love me.

Ooh! I say a prayer with every heartbeat. Did you pick that one? I didn't. I said total eclipse of the heart, and then I spent a lot of times second-guessing myself. Did they play it? They didn't.

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But you just got to go sing along to me. I almost wish I had said, don't stop believing. Everyone's going to figure it's going to be on there. Yeah. You know, but it's got to be. I feel like it's got to be a power ballad and it's got to be a sing-along. I can't believe that they didn't use

Total Eclipse of the Heart. It's a pretty slow one. I mean, I would be, I'd be on the fence about it. Yeah. Yeah, but then when they did the do, do, do, do. I mean, right? Is that just me?

No, that's not just you. I mean, one of my fondest memories from my wedding is dancing with you to Total Eclipse of the Heart. I was thinking about that as Madeline and I were dancing at the wedding this week, because it was like just thinking of all of the sweaty pictures of the two of us from your wedding.

Just scream singing that song. Because I really, it's like the one song that I asked for to be played at the wedding was the cha-cha slide. Oh, good choice. Good choice. Good, good, good choice. Always love the cha-cha slide. And that's what we were talking about with the like the cha-cha with the little kids on dancing with the stars junior. It was just like, I don't know.

I was dancing pretty sexually to the cha-cha slide. I think you can make cha-cha pretty sexy. You look pretty good doing the cha-cha slide. I mean, it was a full group effort. Everyone loves the cha-cha slide. I think it's vastly superior than the regular electric slide. Definitely superior to the electric slide. I also will take a cupid truffle, though.

Yeah? I don't know the cupid shuffle. That's that one where they go, and you're walking down the street. And you're walking down the street. See, my problem is now I think about this dumb fitness class I take because we do a four-minute plank while doing that song with your legs where you're doing like mountain climbers and stuff,

so now the song has no happiness. It's only upset. That's like, did you see that there was a viral tweet about the fact that New York Presbyterian has a Spotify playlist of songs you can do CPR too? And it is awesome because if you just remember one of the songs, you'll be able to, it's 100 beats per minute. So what I will remember is just dance by Lady Gaga. That's pretty good.

Just dance, gonna be okay. You gotta do it a lot faster than you think. I thought the other one was the... See, I always think of another one bites the dust. Boom, bum, bum, bum, bum, another one bites the dust. It's a long playlist. I'm sure that you can find it, Marcus.

It's like a good, long, long playlist and a lot of different songs around there, so there's like really something for everybody. So if you ever have to do CPR, you're just going to be like, just dance, gonna be okay. Don't be crazy in love. Oh, me, it's been one week that you loved to me.

Oh, no, not that one. How did you do with the man in the mirror? Same a time kind of life, yeah. Babe, babe, oh, wow. I want something else. That one works. Man in the mirror is too, like, I feel like I would be like, ooh, ah. You know, like, I have to really kind of get into it.

Yeah, I would get too into it. And I'd be like, oh, am I saving someone? I have a basket. I got, go, did it do. Yeah. Now I just want to give CPR to someone. I don't hope anyone's in trouble. I'm just saying I would like to give CPR to someone.

So choose your song and then remember it in your head so that you will always know how fast you have to do CPR. Yeah, I'm choosing fantasy. I think that, yeah, but then what if you get hard while you're giving CPR? And now I'm going to be paying attention to me. Yeah. I don't know. If you're getting hard, though.

If you're worried about getting hard, if you're worried about getting hard, you can just always switch over to A.S. It's been on one week's going to do it. I feel like if I came back while someone was singing that while giving the CPR,

I'm like, you know what, stop. You know what? I give up. Let me just be here in my own. I saw a nice light. I'm going to go back. I'd rather the forever silence. I think I'll be all right.

Yeah, forever silence. And said, Simitakana, baby, Baby, I want the Pan now. And it's really, CPR's really exhausting, you know? So you wake up to somebody just sweating.

I want to scream through it. Give me a. Wait, wait, is this a playlist on Spotify? It's on Spotify. Songs to do CPR too. Yeah, 40 songs long. A lot of them I actually didn't recognize.

Yeah, you have to find like the one that, that means the most to you. Man, all right, I'll look into that. And now I'm just going to start giving C. I was watching, I don't know why, you know how you do. I was watching some videos of people giving baby CPR. You know you got to put your mouth like over their whole head? Over their nose.

Wow. I took Inven CPR for, I have to take it all the every year for work, but I also took it in preparation for having a child and it is traumatizing. Yeah, it looks like you're going to eat your baby's head. But also, speaking of eating a baby's. Baby's head, weird segue, are we happy about the new royal baby? Hmm. Wait, is this, this is a, Megan Markle.

She popping it out. You know, I want those other kids to have a little cousin. I think that'll be fine. I am not as excited as I thought I was going to be. Number one, because he should be having a baby with me. And that's fair. That's the main reason. The main reason.

And number two, it's more just like, eh, you know, I'm just sad about it. I wanted him to have a more fun partner. No, dude. Megan Markle is beautiful, though, and he's so much better looking than Will. So how much, no, I'm not going to badmouth the looks of the royal children. But how cute because those royal children are extremely cute. But I feel like a red hair, like, like. A little ginger baby.

A little ginger baby. like that baby's going to be cute as hell. Yeah, baby looks nothing like the royal family because it is not of the royal family. Of the royal family. And that is due, that is what is a definite, especially as Harry's getting older and older,

he is for certain, for certain, not complete and 100% brothers with Prince William. Yeah, yeah, oh yeah, because he doesn't, isn't a tennis star? The tennis guy, yeah, a tennis guy that he looks identical to. Yeah, that's the best. It's like the only thing that makes me happier than the side-by-side photos of Harry and that guy are anytime I look at Ronan Farrow's face.

Yeah. It just makes me so happy. Oh, my God. He is so Frank Sinatra's child and it's just delightful. It is. It kind of makes me happy, but also, man, Prince Harry's just so hot. Then I went down like a weird, I went down a weird worm time with watching just pictures and videos of Prince Harry hugging children, which, yes, sounds creepy. but he looks like he's so good with kids.

He does. Wait, you know who's not good with kids? Not to bring it back to Dancing with the Stars Jr., but the answer is Frankie Munez, who is the host of Dancing with the Stars Jr. Yeah, I would imagine he'd be terrible with kids. When did that guy get rehabilitated? Wasn't he like a famous asshole?

No, he was just an asshole in a single episode of Punked and that kind of went viral. Because remember they'd wrecked his car. or something like that. And he was like mad about it. Yeah, you boys my car! And it was like a super, it was an asshole's car. Uh-huh.

Isn't Frankie Mune as the kid from Malcolm in the middle? Oh yeah. And he became a race car driver. Yes. But what does he have to do with Dancing with the Stars Jr? He's the host because he was on regular Big Boy Dancing with the Stars. And so he is one of two hosts. And he is so condescending to the children and it bugs me because I'm like, man,

you were a child not that long ago. Don't you remember that you don't have to talk down to them? And he also just looks, he looks like he has a gun in his back is the problem. He just looks like he did not. If Trey Palin didn't want to be there, Frankie Munez definitely does not want to be there. Oh yeah, but imagine how much money is getting paid to be there.

Does he have to like touch, like, does he have to hug the kids to congratulate them? Like, how is he so awkward? He's just like, oh, how do you feel about that? And they're like, I feel good, you know? He's like, oh, yeah, did you have fun? And they're like, yeah. You know, it's like, Ryan Seacrest.

It's like the awkward, like horrible interviews that they have to do. And then they, you know, the kids have to like, after somebody gets kicked off, everyone's crying. And then they, like, ask the kid right away how they're feeling. And I'm like, don't ask the kid how they're feeling when they're upset. You know how they're feeling. Yeah. But he, no, he just has to be like, he just has to be like, yeah. How, what?

He has to pretend. The whole thing is just like everybody has that, like, the plastered smile of, like, of a. Everybody welcome to Dancing with the Stars, Jr. We've got a lot of dancing to see it tonight. Let's get it up right. It's a band. It feels like if you stop smiling, like there's a bomb and everything's going to explode, you know? Like it feels like that type of a clockwork orange situation.

And he just has like the most forced smile. And then he's like, yeah, like screaming at the kids about how excited everything is. And it's just, it's interesting to see him back because I thought that his reputation had been permanently like destroyed. But smirched. Yeah. I think that it is fun, though. You know what? I kind of always love it.

Especially it's like, my niece is 12. She's at the wedding. Very, very awkward. Very, very quiet. I kind of love, now I get why people have children. Because embarrassing and making a child, not that she was uncomfortable. It's more just like, look at how insane your aunt and uncle are. And I kind of love having children feel like that.

Where it's like, you should be embarrassed about your. self. It's like, no, dude, I'm an adult. I don't fucking have to be embarrassed about anything. Oh, yeah. Making children feel embarrassed on your behalf is a lot of fun. Yeah, really looking forward to it myself. Like really exasperating them and then having them just be like, oh my God, you know, it's just, it is a great joy because they're, right, they're like, so many kids that age are like, you should be humiliated by this and you're like, I don't get humiliated. And it's like, it's fun. It makes me so, I, I forget at one point. I was in front of a bunch of people, and my sister was out in front, not when I was actually

officiating. It was at some point over the wedding weekend. And my sister was making the motion for me to close my legs because my legs were splayed out. And I guess you could kind of see my underwear. And I just shook my head, no. And then I opened my legs even further. Because that's the best part. I was like, don't tell me what to do. I'm an adult. If I want to show everyone my underpants, I'm showing everybody my underpants. pants. That is the best response to somebody really subtly being like, you want to close your legs and you're like,

just opening them more and more and more. But that is like such a kid response too. I'm like, my older sister telling me what to do and I was just like, mm-mm, I choose now. I don't give an H what you got to say about it. Just like I can't wait to go to Burger King

and eat one of their new dumb, frozen, phanta, scary black, cherry slushies because apparently it turns your poop neon blue. Ooh, really? Yeah. And there's a whole big thing about it. Everyone's upset because it turns your poop neon blue. Man, someone's got to be in that if it makes it all the way through your digestive system. Like the only other thing that turns your poop colors is beats.

Oh, man. We don't got Burger Kings around here. I got to go find one. I'm sure I can find one at least fairly close. But what I don't understand is exactly like you're saying Because I don't think that the drink itself Has because it's like last year they did the whole Remember that when they did like the Jet Black Wopper

Burgers? Because Marcus you had one of those right? I didn't get around to it no Okay because I wanted to get one of those So this year they have this weird slushy That I don't believe is blue on the outside But when it goes through your system It makes your butts blue glue on the inside.

Wow. What does it do? What is it due to your insides? That is terrifying. There is a Burger King and Ridgewood Queens, Marcus. I also just found out there's actually a Burger King in my neighborhood. Oh, great. So I might take myself a little trip.

Please report back. It's a really delayed gratification. You gotta wait 12 to 24 hours to see what happens. Is that how long it takes to get happen? I don't know. I mean, that's kind of, I kind of feel like this. things happen on about a 24-hour basis, but I'm no endocrine assistant expert. I'd say 24 to 48 for me.

I'm just really excited because I really want to have neon. And you know I don't like poop humor very often. But if it's bright blue, that's fun for me. You boo, you try to make your slippy, slidy jokes. I know what's happening here. Oh, what's wrong, Jackie? You don't like, you know what? Stop, don't double hand fart. Wait a minute, though.

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You said you hate poop. You don't like poop humor. No poops, no farts. But I remember you don't like farts and it's a real, but wait, can we talk about your relationship to the Austin Powers movies? Yeah. I mean, get in. Oh, boy. Yeah, but very soon after that, I'm sorry. I farted.

Huh? I don't, see, I don't laugh. Then that's when I shook the lip. And I say, you fat bastard, you know that's not coo. Isn't there a whole extended scene of fat bastard like pooping and disgusting? describing what's in it? Yeah, he described, yeah, yeah, right? I remember, baby, the other other white meat, which I do say often.

But honestly, guys, have I never actually confessed this? You haven't seen all the us? I've never seen them. I've never seen them. I've never seen anything. Not a single one? I've seen parts of them. I have never.

actually watched any of them. Wow. Just like Shrek when I'm, you know, in a morning, I'm making waffles. You know, I love to eat a cheeky don't get. But I've also never seen the Shrek movies either. Well, I mean, none of us have never actually seen Norbert. How are you doing? Hey, you do. I definitely thought that you guys had seen Norbert a bunch of times. Neither one of us have ever seen anything besides a, you know, minute and a half super clip of the montage. Oh my God. And I just, I'm telling you, I was a little. I was a little bit of a little bit of on the plane and I watched it.

When she's when Recipio when Resolution's in the car and she's trying to move the seat back and she goes, I know going back for her in this so wrong with this car. Hey, you're doing.

But as she's doing it, she's honking the horn because the breast is so big. Hey, you're honking the car. She breaks the car. She breaks the car seat and looks over and goes like, hmm, hey you do. You der. When I was in the hospital right before giving birth,

you know, I had this like this condition where I was retaining all of this water and I rapidly gained weight and my hands looked like, you know, everyone kept saying that they looked like inflated rubber gloves, but I was like they don't look like inflated rubber gloves. They look like Norbert, Norbert, whatever the fuck. I looked like in any Murphy character. And it was the only thing that I could laugh at. They could be, how you do?

How you're doing? I only wish that every time the whole team of doctors and nurses came in, they'd be like, hi, you're dirt. Actually, I think we should make that a thing among doctors. When a doctor comes in to the hospital room, the first thing you should go is, how you're doing. And that is a great icebreaker. No matter what you're going through, you're going to laugh. Yeah.

Every time, how you do it? Man, now I wish I knew, Molly. I would have just called you every like three hours. I'd be like, hey, you dare. Just to make you laugh. But I bet you probably were not laughing at that point. I was not laughing. I would imagine not.

I was not. But I knew that it was funny. I knew that someday I would laugh. And that day is today. I'm proud of you. All right, it's time for the list. Who's on the list? Marcus, got to have that list.

25 iconic roles that were all. Almost played by someone else. That's a fun list. Okay. You know that Tiffany Amber Thesson, you know, from Saved by the Bell. Kelly Kapowski. Almost played Rachel Green on Friends. Wolf.

Said she was just a little too young. Wolf. Ooh. Would not have worked. She has no comedic timing. Comedic timing. No charisma. No anything.

I mean, she had the breasts for it for sure, though. Don't give her that. Because if you watch that show cooking with Tiffany, or dinner at Tiffany's, or dinner at Tiffany's, oh, she has the charisma of a doormat. Wait, did she have a food network show? Yeah, Emily, she used to. I don't have the cooking channel anymore because of my damn cable package, but it is a show on the cooking channel, which is like the budget cousin of the food network, and it's called

dinner at Tiffany's, and literally she just invites people from Say About the Bell Over, which is why I watch it. And she's like, she just makes, like, mediocre food. She's like, now when I make a grilled cheese, I like to put butter on the bread. And it's like, everybody fucking does that. You don't deserve a cooking show. That's what a grilled cheese is. What a grilled cheese is.

You want to make sure you put some nice cheese on there. It'll be nice and creamy. She does not deserve a cooking. It's just like famous. She just invites either people from State by the Bell or other mediocre 90 stars over and then makes them, like, popcorn with seasoning on it. And she's like, now what you can do with the popcorn is put a little bit of flavors on it. It's infuriating.

I say we put her in the garbage. In the garbage. You know who is supposed to be the two cowboys from Brokeback Mountain? Ooh, who? Leonardo DiCaprio and Brad Pitt. Would watch. I would watch, but at the same time, good gravy. Watch that movie again.

Have you seen the movie recently? Not recently. No, not since college when it came out. But I definitely would not trade Jake Gyllenhaal for anybody. And Heath Ledger, the way that they kiss, and the way that they have sex that they don't really want to have with their wives, man, it's great. But I guess, you know, if I'm thinking, like, Legends of the Fall, Brad Pitt, I guess I'm on board. I would be into that. Legends of the Fall, Brad Pitt, and Basketball Diaries, Leonard DiCaprio.

Yeah, if we could do different age, different times, then I would be completely on board. But you know what? Throwing it out there, I feel like Leonardo DiCaprio didn't have the passion. Yeah. See, it wouldn't make any sense. They're too famous. Yeah. Yes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. At that time, though, Jake Gillenall and Heath Ledger were fairly famous, though, right? Heath Ledger, I feel like, well, the one criticism of that movie was, wasn't it kind of like, wow, look at these two brave actors, like, be gay for a movie, you know what I mean? That was a big thing about it, yeah. But both of them were, like, what is it? They weren't that, like, Jake Gyllenhall had one. What, like, but Donnie Darko at that point?

Yeah, that's why I was obsessed with them. Yeah, and Heath Ledger had, what, 10 things I hate about you? A Knight's Tale? They weren't that, like, they were known, but they weren't Brad Pitt and Leonardo to Cap do. Yeah, yeah, I feel like that that was too much, and they probably wouldn't have had the same ease the way the two of them did, you know? I'm glad with this choice. That choice was a good one, but we got to move on to blind items. What?

We can't see him. Got one for you today. But this is a pretty big one. This A-List reality star spent two hours on a conference call yesterday with the same lawyer who handled her previous divorce. All totaled, there were six people on the call all discussing steps to be taken and how they can be implemented on short notice. The writing is on the wall with her celebrity husband.

Molly, you look like you know the answer. It is obviously Kim Kardashian. You beat me, Jackie! Oh, yeah. I'm sorry I didn't mean to do a Molly too, but yeah. Very obviously, yes, of course it is. You got to. Yeah, yeah.

I've got to say, I think I'm identified with Kim Kardashian. It's got to be. It's got to, you know, ye ain't what ye used to be. And it ain't no good. I will say, though, him dancing around in that Perrier bottle costume on Saturday. Night Live was delightful. I did not see that. It was delightful. It was delightful. I will give you that.

It was delightful. But here's the thing. I don't think he's having a mental breakdown. I think what it is is that he's one of those musicians, or just artists in general, musical genius, but actually really dumb. Yeah, I've been agonizing over this. It could be. It could be. I've, you know, I've defended Kanye a lot on the show. I really like Kanye.

I like his music. I think, yeah, and watching all this happen, I was like, I was like pretty bummed out about it. And I don't know how to make sense of it. I know people are talking about his, you know, people are, some people say, well, this is exploitative because of his mental health. Other people are saying your mental health doesn't have to make you a MAGA person. Like, people are kind of coming out of from all different kinds of ways. And I just don't, I have no idea how to make sense of it. But it does, it does bum me out.

I don't think he's, yeah, I don't think it's mental health or anything like that. I think he's just, I think he just doesn't have a hell of a whole lot of sense. One theory that I did see was that somebody said Kanye was always mad that of Obama and Jay Z's closeness and so this is him. I mean, that's kind of fun. That's kind of, that's the most fun explanation, you know. Or he could also be very smart and extremely self-aware. Like when he said, like, when I put on this hat, I feel good and I feel like Superman.

and it makes me feel like I have a dad. And it was like, wow, you actually kind of hit a lot of shit right on the nail. That's the thing. Like, you really, like, hit, like, what a lot of people were thinking and what the psychology behind a lot of this is. Like, you really hit it on the head, and you're openly saying why you're enjoying this. Yeah.

So maybe you're really smart and just have no compunction whatsoever about put it all out on the line. Yeah, I mean, I think that's the thing. I feel like the dude is pretty smart, which is another thing why I'm about this way. It's so baffling. But I also do. do think that he might be, and this is coming from someone that, you know, I know nothing about politics or any of that kind of shit. But it seems like, too, it's like, isn't it great

for him? No matter what it's like, even bad press is good press. Right? I don't, in this, I don't know, in this day and age, I don't, I don't know if that's true anymore. I'm not sure if it's true only because I think that whatever, I mean, the Trump's constituency and Kanye's constituency have nothing to do with each other. And, yeah, I mean, it's just a baffler. I'm just like looking at this like, what the fuck? Or is it some sort of conspiracy of the Kardashian family to start putting out all this stuff and to start, maybe he's being dosed with something so that if she wants to leave him,

that all of this stuff is openly publicity-wise, his fault and it has nothing to do with them. That's a theory. Or this entire thing, or he could be a brilliant artist that is actually doing something amazing that we don't even know yet. The payoff is yet to come. There could be at the end of it, some brilliant payoff here that none of us see coming. Even like his marriage to Kim Kardashian is like something,

like it's a part of the entire process. That would be kind of fun. That'd be fun. That's best case scenario. I mean, I don't think. Fingers crossed. I don't think that's what it is. No, I don't think it's what it is at all.

We can dream, you know. But that'd be really cool if this is like some sort of weird performance art. Sort of lifelong performance art. Because it will seem on the outside, it seems like Kim Kardashian's really great with her kids. Yeah, and she has, well, she also met with Trump to talk about, like, prison reform. But she did get somebody, like, a longtime prisoner released. it's a head scratcher. The whole thing is a head scratcher,

but she doesn't seem to be, I'm not surprised to hear that she is like a little bit horrified by whatever the fuck is going on. Yeah, I'd say so. But yeah, it looks like it's just about quits. Yeah, because I know Bay and Jay publicly will not be a part of them at all. Yeah.

They have completely, like, gone their own separate way. They're definitely the weird friends. All right, and that's how we got time for on today's page seven. Don't invite Yay over for dinner anymore. No. No, oh man, yay. Is it Yay? Is it E? I don't even know. You know I don't know these things. But at the same time, you know, be what you want to be. Shoot for the star you want to shoot for. May not be everybody's star, but hey, it's yours.

Thank you guys. Thank you guys so much for listening this week. My name is Jackie Zabrowski. You can follow me on Instagram at Jack That Were. I'm Molly Nethel. I'm MJK. L. Kant. Marcus Sparks for everything. And I love you guys so much. And thank you for listening. And please start watching.

Man, I just, I'm over the moon. I feel great. Everything is stress-free. Life is wonderful. Happy Halloween almost. Watch Halloween 3 because it is one of the better ones, even though it has really nothing to do with the rest of the series in the hole. And if you love what you're hearing,

please follow us on all of our respective social medias as well as come find us on Patreon. It is patreon.com slash page 7 podcast. We're doing fun, spooky things over the next couple of weeks, and we just started back up our Riverdale Roundup. So if you want it, you need it, baby, why'd you come over here and get it? We love you. We'll talk to you next week. Love you guys.

Goodbye. Thank you.