Page 7 - Episode 276: Calling All Ghosts

Episode Date: October 26, 2018

Jackie, Molly and Marcus get into the Halloween mood by gabbing about spectrophilia, recessive ghost genes and the new Halloween movie. Go to http://daily-harvest.com and enter promo code PAGE7 to get three items FREE off your first box! For 15% off your purchase of $100 or more, go to http://modcloth.com and enter code PAGE7 at checkout. Offer valid for one-time use only and expires January 5th, 2019. Go to http://phlur.com today and use promo code PAGE7 to get 20% off your custom Phlur sample set! Wa Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

That's best. Janna. Let the Midnight Spare. Yes, I rewatch the Twilight Zone movie, and yes, I love it still, because we're in October. I hope everyone's watching their scary movies. My name is Jackie Zabrowski. Welcome to page seven. My name is Molly Nethel, and I'm watching scary things.

I'm Marcus Parks, and Jess Wade always is. You're always watching scary things. They're always watching scary things. I try to watch as many scary things as I can, but this is the time of year that you really got to lean in and make it your job to watch scary movies. I'm doing my best. Yeah, I had a late-night viewing a Halloween last night

night in preparation. We're going and seeing the new Halloween in the theater tonight. Oh, oh, so you saw the, you saw OG Halloween, and now you're going to go see the new one. Oh, yeah, I watched OG Halloween last night and saw the wonderfulness that that movie is. Of course, it's Halloween. It's the fucking best.

But yeah, and then tonight we're going to go watch the new Halloween. I have a question about people who like scary things. Yes. So, and Marcus, you both, you are in the realm of, like, true crime and fictional scary things, and you both know lots of scary movies. And as you might remember, I did not like Texas Chainsaw Massacre. I remember. And that genre of movie.

I was there for you not liking Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Still traumatized by Texas chainsaw masquer. It's a rough movie. It's rough. I understand. God, I came so close to wearing one of my Texas chainsaw mask or shirts today. But for whatever reason, I can watch, I've been in a true crime thing for like the last year and a half. I can watch forensic files.

I fall asleep watching forensic files. I sleep just fine at no bad dreams. I'm in all the, I'm listening to the true crime stories. I'm reading about serial killers. And I feel totally fine. I can do it when I'm by myself. It does not upset me. And yet, when I watch a scary haunted house story,

I literally had to like, I was home alone, except the baby was in her, was in our room. We share a room with her. And I'm never home alone. And I was like, ooh, I'm going to have a fun night at home alone by myself. And then like 20 minutes later,

I went to the baby's room and closed the door because I just felt the need to not be alone, even if it meant, being with a sleeping baby, and I was freaked right out. So why do stories of real murder just wash right over me, and I can go to sleep, and 20 minutes of mildly suggested, not even, you know, Hillhouse is very subtle, and I was so, so freaked out. Hmm, I don't know, because I'm kind of the opposite, where, like, the actual, like, murder

and that type of shit will, like, truly affect me. But, like, horror movies and things like that, it's just like, hey, yeah, motherfucker, do it. Yeah. Do it. Come on. Yeah, I feel like there's something off with me because it should be that real murder scares me. No, no, no, no, I think most people are. I think the vast, vast majority of people are like that.

I mean, especially now. Everyone's, for some reason, everyone is totally comfortable with murder these days. I don't know what it is. Well, yeah, we're desensitized, you know? It's just like, I think it's easier to separate the, like, like, watching, like, the real scary stories. and things like that and like with things that actually happen, you're like, yeah, but that's not going to happen to me. But this serial killer, it's like that kind of sure where it's like,

yeah, but this like murderer that's just going to come up and just go, shink, I think it's one of those things too where it's like, it's almost as if you expect the other things to happen to you more, which is why fake scary stories affect your brain. You know what I mean? Yeah. And also, where it's like, I'm always expected to be like sexually assaulted on the street.

That's why I carry a taser. Right, right. But I'm not expecting, you know, like someone to get me like, say, in my nightmares. Right, right. Yeah, exactly. Or like, I don't ever spend regular time in my day being afraid of ghosts. But I do spend regular time in my day being afraid of, like, interpersonal violence.

But then if I, like, watch a thing about ghosts, I'm like, there's ghosts everywhere. I never think about ghosts. I'm not scared of ghosts. I don't really believe in ghosts. And I will watch a thing about ghosts so then I can't fucking sleep. Well, the other time, people have been into true crime and murder and, like, the entire thing. Totally down with checking out all that shit for centuries. It's not anything new.

I mean, fuck, public executions used to be the number one form of entertainment in town. And the true crime publications that used to be put out back in the early 1900s, late 1800s, were awful. Like, they were so brutal. They were so graphic. And they were huge, huge sellers. People just didn't really talk about it. It's just now we're kind of in, I think now we're in a culture where we talk about everything and everybody talks about everything that they're into.

So before true crime and being really into murder and being really interested in it, used to be something that was more behind closed doors. You didn't necessarily talk about it a whole lot. Now everybody's cool with talking about everything that they're into. Yeah. And for some reason, I think that like... You're not weird in other words. Okay.

You're not weird at all. There's something about like, why. watching shows about murder that makes, it doesn't make murder less scary because of course it doesn't, but there's something about it just being like, like you said, if I can just be like, yeah, I guess this is, I guess I can just watch 12 hours of half hour shows about different people who are murdered.

And it's like a way, it's like in a weird way, it feels like dealing with that fear. Whereas watching a single show about ghosts does not feel like dealing with the fear. It feels like introducing the fear and like really like stoking it, you know? Because you're entering into a story. Yeah.

Like you're in, because when you're watching true crime and you're watching stuff about murder you know it's there's something in the back of everyone's mind i think where it they think like well at least that's not me at least i'm not being murdered right now at least i'm not dead or you know conversely with the serial killer it's saying like well at least i'm not that crazy i'm not i'm not that person i might be a bad person i might feel really bad about who i am but at least i'm not that guy uh but when you enter into a story you don't have that. Like you don't have that like you're entering into a realm of imagination.

So you don't have at least I'm not that to fall back on. And it's not and the possibilities are much more open. Right. When you enter into a story land. Right. How many ghosts could be in the room right now. Yeah. Like five.

You don't believe in ghosts? I mean, I almost didn't even want to say the sentence. I don't believe in ghosts because it sounds so definitive. but, you know, if you were to make, if you had a group of people in a room and you had to say, okay, choose people over here who believe in ghosts go here and people who don't believe in ghosts

go over here. I think I would probably go with the people who don't believe in ghosts. But if you could say go in the middle somewhere, I would probably go in the middle somewhere. You know what I mean? That's where I am too. Yeah.

Yeah, I'm the same place. I believe. I'm completely on board. I think that ghosts exist. I think that they can interact with us, and I'm just waiting, just waiting for the day that a ghost tries to have sex with me because I will say yes. Because I think that that is an experience that I need to have in my life.

So calling all ghosts, I'm ready, I'm willing, I'm consenting. Spectrophilia. Yeah, that's what I want. I like two of that, please. Just Google spectrophilia and do a bunch of research. You'll make it happen. for yourself. Spectrophilia?

Spectrophilia. Yeah, yeah. It's like necrophilia, but spectrophilia. Do you think that, is that a weird, like, I've wanted to have sex with a ghost for, like, a long time. Yeah, I think most dudes fantasized about having sex of the ghost ever since that scene in Ghostbusters when that ghost gave Dan Aykroy to blowjob. Yeah, I was going to say, I feel like the Ghostbusters and also the movie Ghost, right?

Yeah, also the movie Ghosts, also made it sound really sexy. Oh, isn't this interesting? Episode 67, Spectrophilia, last podcast on the left, that's what comes up. Should I listen? I'm down. Really? We come up first, huh? Yeah, I think that you... Wow, wow, wow. I wasn't trying to plug or anything like that.

I was just saying, go check it out, but, yeah, there. I would love... My only issue is that I love listening to last podcast. I just don't want to listen to my brother talking about sex with the ghost, because I imagine, I'm going to go ahead and go on a limb here. and assume he also wants to have sex with a ghost. I do not remember. Okay, good, good, good.

I think we just wrote down right now, do we think Henry wants to have sex with a ghost yes or no? You go listen to the episode and then we'll come back and see this. We'll come back around. I'm giving it good odds. Yeah. See, this woman says, well, which I don't understand because it is on a, it's on a website called Kids Spot,

and it's under the section of parenting. And the headline is, Women who claim they have sex with spirits and it's better than with humans. And I... Why is it on that website? Why is it on kids' spot? I understand. Parenting can be tough.

Do you feel distant from your partner? Have sex with a ghost. Have sex with a ghost. Oh, man, she joined the Mile High Club by having sex with a ghost. Oh, that's cheating. Did she bring the ghost? Did she bring the ghost or was it like an air ghost? A sky ghost.

I think maybe it was a sky ghost. Yeah, that's cheating because the whole thing about the Mile High Club is that you have to avoid other people seeing that there are two people in the bathroom. If one of the people is invisible, no one knows you're having sex and thus it's pretty easy. Oh, no, I'm sorry, this is her full-on ghost lover. Well, they are wise, stable and kind. I'm not 100% sure if they are male or female, but I've found true love. She's trying to have a ghost baby. That's why it's on kids, spot.

dot go. Well, Phantom pregnancies. She thinks she can have a ghost baby. Would the baby be a human or a ghost? Marcus, you're the authority on this. The baby be a human

are going to be half human, half ghost. I mean, I would say. You're just going, normal genetics. Is it a day? Yeah, if we're looking like just normal genetics, yeah, I mean, if it's a day walker, then I guess it would be a human. I guess it would, you know what?

It's up to the thing. whatever comes out if he wants to be a ghost you want you can be a ghost if he wants to be a human he can be a human whatever the whatever the thing wants it's not like red hair where it's like you might get it and might not i'd hmm i don't know what if what if what if the human has some ghosts in her side you know and there's a recessive ghost jean there's a recessive ghost jean it comes out full ghost full ghost yeah shit i didn't even God, Poh.

I didn't even fucking think about that. Okay, well, you know, well, fucking let me go to the drawing board. We're canceling this week's episode of last podcast because now I've got to spend a whole fucking week on this. You've got things to figure out.

You would like a seventh grade biology textbook open to the genetic. What is it? Mendel? Just like, well, do the little squares.

Yeah, well, do the little squares. You get the X and Y test. Oh, Ugh, but if it's a... Shit, I don't know. I never did. I never got this. I never understood this.

Where are my bean sprouts? Oh, but I need weeks. Get me ghost beans sprouts. I think, well, this woman's... Her fiancee left her because of her ghost lover. Yeah. Because he kept coming home and she was like in, like, in the midst of ghost. Or I guess, I don't know what is.

Is it ghost to see about that? point if you're if you're if you're if you're if you're having ghost comes and so her ghost disease took over her relationships or her fiancee left uh it's not about the ghost to see that made him leave i mean it's not necessarily i don't think it was jealousy that oh she's having to go you're having i'm out all day i'm working you're home having sex with ghost oh that's not fair no it was because his wife thought that she was having sex with the ghost and that's a bit much to deal with yeah i think that that is a lot it would also admittedly be hard if your wife was in love with somebody else who was a ghost.

The ghost thing is maybe the hardest part. But being in love with somebody else is also hard. I think of why I was never into like ghosts, like the movie ghost because it's like I don't want to have sad ghost sex. Yeah. That's sad ghost sex. I want to have fun ghost sex of like, oh, I don't know who this person is. Oh, like or what if it's like a polter gas? Ooh, what if you had, would you have, would you? Have sex with Peaves the Paltar guys from Harry Potter? He's not really my type. Would you have sex with any of the ghosts in the Harry Potter Castle? I was kind of thinking immediately.

I think that I would give Moaning Mertl a shot just to see if I could turn her frown upside down. But immediately when you asked me about that, I was like, yeah, nearly had those nick. Yeah. But, I mean, I give it a shot. But are you just saying you would have sex with John Cleese then? I mean, yeah? Mm-hmm. Dead or alive.

Wait, so, Jackie, I have a question. If you want to have, like, happy, horny hot sex with a ghost, isn't the, well, I'm one of the impression that the theory is that most ghosts are in our realm because they have unfinished business. And often that they're not happy to be here, right? that they have to like complete a task. Depends on the type of haunting that you're talking about. Okay.

So I guess. Intelligent haunting versus residual haunting versus poltergeist, blah, blah, blah, blah. Okay. Yeah. Because I guess my question would be, are there just like happy, horny ghosts out there? Or are the ghosts usually like trying to complete some undone business? And they're, they don't have time for sex.

Or maybe they do, but maybe they will be sad. You know, I guess. But if the business they have, they didn't have enough happy horny sex. Uh-huh. That's a thing. That's what I'm right. How are we supposed to know unless we start having sex with these ghosts? But although a potential complication of that, if they didn't have enough sex on Earth, they might not be that good upset.

Oh, you're right. But I don't know, these articles I'm reading right now. Apparently, those ghosts to see is out of this world. Yeah, guys. Bring it on my baby bumblebee. My mom, me, bees are bright of me. Oh, breaking out my baby, bumble bait. Ouch, it's done me.

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It's like, if I hear the crying, like if moaning Myrtle still wants to, like, if she's still screaming with, with sobs as we fuck, I'd have to stop it. Yeah. But how do you stop it if there's not a physical form to tell, you know,

it's like that you can't even like push it off of you? Leave the room. Is that it, though? You get up, you get dressed, you leave the room. You're like, ah. I'm not, nah. Not into it. Yeah, because also with Mowing-Murley, you'd have to do it in the bathroom, too.

Yeah. But on the other hand, I don't know, you may, are you... I mean, we've all been there done that. Yeah, we've all been there, done that, yeah. We've all been there, done that. You know, it's not the best. I mean, again, it's why I'll never become a part of the Mile High Club, and that will always make me be sad, but this gives me a new-found hope.

I don't think it counts if it's with the ghost. Yeah, I don't think it counts with the ghost either. Guys, you are putting the kivash on my hopes and dreams over here. I support your desire to have sex with a ghost, and I support your desire to be in the Mial Head Club. I just don't think you can do a two-fer. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I support your desires. I absolutely do support your desires,

and if you say that you have had sex with a ghost in an airplane, then I will believe you, but I will not give you the points. Okay, then it's not worth it. Then at that point it's not worth. Then it's just worth it for the ghost to see. But then it's not worth it. I want to be into my high club. I think you have to be on a private plane.

I'm convinced you have to be on a private plane to get into the mile high club. Right? Yeah, because these days and age, what if they're going to do a security alert if you go, if two people go into the bathroom? Yeah, they get a weird about it. Yeah, I think that they watch you like a hawk. I'm not smoking, I swear. It's weird to me that it still says it like, it's like, don't you smoke in here.

It's like, you think that people wouldn't fucking figure it out. Of course I'm not smoking in here. I really want to. Do you think it's a federal crime to have sex on an airplane? If it's a federal crime to smoke on an airplane. I'm not sure. I wonder if it's something you do. It's like, because what if your fluids together create some sort of explosion?

What if you create more than three ounces of semen? Yeah. And then, oh, yeah. Have you, like, waited a really long time. And then it's like, oh, what am I going to do with all this cum? I'm going to make it explode. You're going to have to throw this come out because you're not allowed to have more than three ounces of liquid on the plane.

Don't tase me, bro. That's what I'm going to say to apply to tenant. In Britain, it is not illegal specifically to have sex on an airplane, but under Section 71 of the Sexual Offences Act of 2004, it is illegal to have sex in a lavatory to which the public has access. But on the other hand, you're in the air. How does the law work up there? Does the public have access to it?

No, only the people on the plane. That is true. That is true. That is true. Wait, so does that mean any bathroom sex on the ground is also illegal? Yes. Public bathroom sex? In Britain, public bathroom sex is illegal.

I think it's illegal here too. Probably. Yeah. You're not supposed to take your privates out in public. Yeah, I don't see a senator dying on that hill. No, no. Make sure bathroom sex is legal for all of us. Is that what the movie The Air Up There is about?

I thought the air up there was a... No, I'm thinking an air bud. The air up there is about... It's a basketball, but maybe it's about sex and airplanes. Is the air up there? Is that the Kevin Bacon movie where he goes to Africa? Yes. Yeah.

Yeah. One of those... He goes to, it's those that... There was a genre movies in the 90s where, like, dudes went to other countries. to find really tall guys to play basketball. And then there was a bunch of like adorable cultural confusion. And then they'd like win the game. Yeah, the air up there, my giant.

That was another one. Yeah. There was something about a Pepsi can. Weren't they playing bad? Like, wasn't that one? Are you thinking it's a mad, mad, mad, mad, mad world? Is that what it is? That's a Coke can.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a Venn diagram of, you know, people going to other countries to find tall basketball players. And then there's a pretty over, well, I don't know where it's. overlaps, but there's the whole genre of movie of just white people going to Africa to find something. To find things. You know? Yeah. Things, people. Professions.

Yeah, themselves. A lot of themselves. Yeah. Yeah, they didn't know exactly what they were doing at the time. And I feel like now a lot of it can be seen is definitely a thousand percent offensive. Because there was that other, what's the other basketball movie? The one with Rosie Perez, white men can't jump. White men can't jump.

And I was watching that not too long ago because I had. heavily identified with Rosie Perez in a lot of movies. I think that we, I think that we have a lot in common. And that's a weird, that's another weird one. There was a weird basketball genre. Oh yeah, above the rim. That was, I think Tupac's first movie, yeah, with Janet Jackson. The 90s were an interesting time for a lot of reasons. And that was the movie where like Janet Jackson, like, what was it? She like wouldn't do scenes with them or like had to wash her hands because she thought He had AIDS or something like that. Jan Jackson was awful to Tupac.

What? That's insane. It was something real bad. It was something real bad. Yeah, basketball movies in the 90s were real weird. Space Jam. That was another weird basketball movie. Air Bud.

I mean, Air Bud. Which is a movie. Yeah. About basketball. Blue Chips. She'll kill O'Neill and Nick Nulte. We're in a movie together. Basketball Diaries probably doesn't count in this genre.

No, it's sexy. Oh, that's sexy. I want to rewatch Space Jam because now, especially that they're coming out Space Jam 2. And I'm definitely intrigued of what they're going to be doing with this. But they are really, they are pushing Space Jam. I haven't seen it since I was a kid. Yeah. There's so many people, it's such an insane cult following. Yes, people love Space Jam. I was too well for Space Jam. I was like right above the, right above the cutoff for Space Jam to be like a thing. Yeah. Yep. Yeah. Because we were the exact right age.

Yeah, we were the perfect age. And I loved it at the time, but now I don't remember anything about it. I think I need to give it another go. I think at the time was just like, it's basketball. I's got lonely times in it. Which is what I sounded like when I was younger. Which is not very different. Our drama teacher used to always

make us listen to I believe I can fly before performances. And she would like, we'd all have to sit in a room and listen, I believe I could fly and she would say like, everyone close your eyes. Believe you can fly. I believe I can fly.

You can fly tonight's the night to fly. I believe I can touch the sky. You can fly if only you believe in it. No. We don't sing R. Kelly anymore. Me and my buddy would like, oh, I mean, this is what, 2009, something like that. Oh, yeah. It's a different time.

You my buddy with like, we opened her eyes and looked at each other and looked at her. And she was swaying back and forth. She was really getting into it. And God, I could not tell you how hard. of time I had not laughing. Oh my God. I wonder though if that drama teacher, after all the news about R. Kelly came out if she was like, wish I had done a different song.

I don't think she heard about the news. Nah, she doesn't know. She don't care. She probably still loves the song. I think she's dead. Whoa. Well, can I have sex with her ghost? Do you think it would be fun

And do you think she would enjoy it? No No But what if I listen to I believe I can fly while we bang? Turn on I believe I could fly Maybe it will summon If you were a cat

She would have loved it Because she loved cats Oh yeah I'm dressed up like a cat You can't I guess maybe I'll go after a different person Because you know Yeah

She's far away It's a whole big thing Although I did you know, I'm not quite sure why I've watched It's a Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown every year of my entire life. Do you guys watch It's a Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown? No.

I like, if it's on, I'll watch it, but I don't seek it out. I do like the idea of how sad Linus gets. You know, the thing is, is that as much as I hate Winnie the Pooh, I enjoy Charlie Brown, and I see it as in the same realm of things. I think it's because it's like a person that's just like, oh, I never get any candy because he keeps getting rocks

and I do think that's very funny he keeps going up to do his tricks or traits and he keeps getting rocks and I think that's very funny. The thing about peanuts is that like late like the peanuts that we all got like when we were kids was like when Charles Schultz had just like

stop giving a fuck. But early my dad had like from when he was a kid like the 50s like the little book collections of the Peanuts comics and they were dark, dark, dark. Really dark. They talked about suicide a lot. I loved it.

Charlie Brown was so lonely and depressed. And I identified with Charlie Brown. And it was great. They were great. Like, he was so sad. And the kids were so mean, and it was just so funny. Oh, good grief was a true lamentation. Yeah.

Like it was not anything to be taken lightly. It was a, it was a, it was. It was, I would say he was speaking out against the world. Yeah, I mean, everybody was so terrible to Charlie Brown except for Linus, who was just like also kind of has a hard time fitting in. You know, Charlie Brown's own sister was terrible to him. And yeah, I just, I always want to stand up for peanuts because by the end, everyone thought it was just kind of like corny and like not funny. But early peanuts was like dark, but also hilarious. Yes.

And so, yeah, I mean, I just, I feel like I always have a soft spot in my heart for peanuts because of how depressed Charlie Brown was and how portrayals of depressed children are needed in the world because children are going to be depressed and we don't think that they can't be. Because people are like, why did children have to complain about? But I understand because I really identify with Sally, obviously, as the younger sister that is hopelessly in love with Linus and is sexually aggressive about how much she's. she wants Linus. But my favorite part, I think of why. I remember watching this as again in It's a Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown. Essentially, the great pumpkin is similar to like a Santa Claus type character. And apparently that's what he was trying, like what Schultz was kind of making fun of was

the idea of like the fact that kids believe in Santa Claus. So why can't they believe in like another made up character for Halloween? And Linus really believes in it. And if you have the sincerest pumpkin patch, he will come and visit you. bring you candy. And I think great you wishes. And Linus hangs out in the pumpkin patch all night long. And so Sally gives up on going to the parties and going trick-or-treating just to

spend time with Linus in the pumpkin patch. And yet she still won't let him hold her hand. And I love it. He wasn't even trying. And she's like, don't you do it? Because yes, I'm in love with you, but no, you can never have me. And I think that's why I identify with Sally. so much. Yeah, you are a little bit like Sally.

It makes me really, I mean, with a little mixture of Lucy, because Lucy's a bitch. Yes, Lucy is a stone cold bitch, for sure. I also love the peanuts. I love peanuts because it's an adult-free world. A lot of, all my favorite things as a kid, all were like child imaginings of adult-free world, like the little rascals, there's no grown-ups anywhere. Oh, no. Peanuts, no grown-ups anywhere. And I just like a, you know, imagining a world where like it's just only the kids get to do what, you know, get to, you know, kind of create the social structures and you don't ever have to interact with adults. Favorite book, Lord of the Flies. Uh-huh.

Oh, hell yeah. Leave them to their own devices. Do you guys remember that show from 2008, Kid Nation? Kid Nation. It was a reality TV show short-lived because it was a terrible idea that, I think it was 2008. called Kid Nation. It was a reality TV show where the premise was put a bunch of kids on a ranch by themselves. In a ghost town? In a ghost town. What? I want to watch it. Let them create their own society. I watched at a time I had

forgotten about it and then like last week or something, somebody wrote a piece like checking in with two of those kids who are now, of course, like, you know, in there like 20 or whatever. Yeah. And it was fucking bat shit bananas. In New Mexico, I want to do this. It was a bunch, and the kids were good to each other for the most part. It was like, how will these kids treat each other with no grownups? And the kids, like, worked it out. Listen to this waiver that parents had to sign. I understand that the program may take place in inherently dangerous travel areas

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Jesus Christ! But also, these are 40 children between the ages of 8 and 15. You're going to let your 8-year-old, you're going to sign that waiver for your 8-year-old to do this? Yeah, it was a terrible, terrible. terrible idea for a show. They fully said, like, told, in the contract, like, hey, your kid may die doing this, so just you can't sue us if your kid dies. And it was just, like, let these kids, like, leave them below.

And, I mean, yeah, what was weird about it was the premise was, like, will it turn into Lord of the Flies? And instead, the kids actually, like, if I remember correctly, were, like, pretty cooperative with one another and, like, really tried to, like, work it out and figure out how to survive. But it was fucked up. It was definitely like, let's drop off these kids and watch what they do in the middle of the fucking desert with no help. Interesting.

As per that, what was it? The kids actually working pretty good on their own. Like, they actually had a pretty good trash disposal system going on. And then a bunch of adults and producers came in and dumped a whole bunch of trash around and said, you got a massive trash problem. Take care of it. Wow. What? Wow.

Yeah. Man. But also, I like that children could choose to go home at any time. And I guess some of them did. They were allowed to leave whenever they wanted to. That's good. Because if they didn't let the children leave, it would maybe be child abuse, even though they've already been child abuse.

I can't wait to have kids so that I can profit off of them. Molly, what is going to be your first way to prophetize Freddie? She would not go on Kid Nation if she wants. wanted to go on dancing with the Stars Jr. Or so you think you can dance the next generation, we would talk about it. But other than, it would have to be something where it was about something that she liked doing, not something to be famous, but something that made, like something that made her happy. If that is going to be dancing, then so be it.

But, you know, it might be something that I don't like, like volleyball. I will support her no matter what. I just, if I, sometimes I think like, well, what could she do that would really make me feel like I couldn't relate to her? And the answer is volleyball. I do not care for volleyball. But I'll still love her. I think it's great. I think I'm, I, you know what?

I get it. I get where you're coming from. But at the same time, as a softball player, I really love the volleyball girls because we feel like we all were kindred spirits. I support all. I support children playing sports. I like sports. I just don't like volleyball. Get her into hockey.

Hockey. No, you have to wake up real early to take a kid to hockey. That's where, that's how you're busy. What does she want to be a hockey player? I'll support her being. I'll support her no matter what she does. I'm just saying that there's certain activities that I find more boring than others. And if she wants to be a dancer, I will be very excited. I won't be a dance mom, but I will be very excited. I'm kidding me. You would totally be a dance mom. If she wants to be a volleyball player or a hockey player, I will just be like a indifferent, but still very excited for her, but indifferent to the activity itself. Um, Molly, how do you feel about zombies? Uh, indifferent.

Marcus? Uh, World War Z is, uh, one of my favorite horror novels ever written. Okay. But as an end, I also love Dawn of the Dead. Big, yeah, huge Don of the Dead fan. Just watched that a couple days ago for the umpteenth time. Uh, yeah, big, I'm, I'm not, like a, I wouldn't say I'm a zombie guy, but I'm into it. I like it.

I would say I'm throwing it out here. It's my suggestion of the week. It is, I started watching the show. Dead Set. It's by Charlie Brooker who created Black Mirror. And so it was his original show that is a reality. It's basically, so essentially it's when a big brother was really big. So it's as if they are, so they're, you're watching people create Big Brother. So it's like from the outside perspective of it, but it is the same rules of Big Brother. So it's like a documentary, a documentary. a reality show.

But while a zombie outbreak is happening, but they're all contained inside of the house. Oh, cool. Oh, that's a good idea. It's, but it's also the do the road black mirror, so it's all really good at, like, getting human emotions and things like that,

and, like, making choices. And it's a, it's one season, it is on Netflix. I am halfway through it. Highly enjoy it. I'll take that. I'll buy that for a dollar. And I'm not even that big of a zombie.

person, but I'm digging it. Yeah, that sounds like a great premise, actually. I just don't think zombies are the most interesting of the various, like, scary things. It's because, Madi, we're the real villain. We're the villains, my! We are the villains.

It's the humans that are the problem. When I listen, I have had The Walking Dead, because especially being around my family last week, all of my family watches the They're all obsessed with it. And the way they talk about the walking dead, I'm just like, I get it. It's the human, I know, it's the human beauty.

It's like, she's like, because my mom was like, it's not the zombies. I know that you keep telling me you don't like the zombies, but I'm telling you it's not, I'm like, I know it's about the humans. It's about the drama between the humans, I get it. It's just, I'm not that into zombies. And I also hear it's a little too, like, torture porny for me.

Uh-huh. Throw that out there. I don't like the grossies, which is why I wasn't that into the terrifier and people keep telling me watch a terrifier and I just I like the idea of a mute creepy clown but the rest of it was just a little too much from my belly you don't like the grossies what was that damn movie that you talked about the other day with the uh coyote from um grace and Frankie oh devil's candy isn't that a grossy yeah I take it back I just there's specific kind of grossies that I'm not into uh-huh although

But the thing is not to be confused with Marcus, I sent you a text about this, but I highly recommend you watching Terrified. Terrified. Terrified. Which is on shut. Yeah, terrified. All right.

On shutter. It is an Argentinian film. Molly do not watch it. It is along the lines of hereditary where things happen that in my brain, I cannot unsee. Oh, yeah. I will say that. And it's,

and it is an hour and 20 minutes of just no, like, no fat on it. It is just a good. scary movie. Fuck yeah. All right. I'll take it out. So I've been banging out a lot of horror movies.

I also watch the new Halloween and I think this is one for Freddie to watch when she gets older because it is very much like women can kill too. What was that? I'll put that on the list of scary things to introduce

to help introduce Freddy to feminism which he's ready to not be afraid of really scary movies. Wait, you watch the original Halloween yesterday, right Marcus? Yeah, of course. Yeah, I watched the yesterday. And yeah, I mean, a lot of the 80s horror movies, it's always

the lone lady that survives. Oh, yeah, baby. But there's something about, I thought that Halloween was going to be sexier. The original Halloween is really sexy. I know. And like, that's the whole thing is that this new one, so essentially, Molly, they cut out all of the remakes in between. And this movie that just came out, why

everyone's losing their mind over it, is because, Jamie Lee Curtis is one of the executive producers, but also this is the Danny McBride version. So there are parts that are fun, and it's just because Danny McBride loves Halloween so much. But I, so they cut out all the ones in between. So it's supposed to be essentially 40 years later from the first one. Uh-huh. And all the bullshit that they made up in between doesn't exist. Great.

So it's just like Jamie Lee Curtis is kind of out for blood. She's just trying to get back at Michael Myers from being so scary. Yeah, and being bad. But there was, I wanted more sex. It doesn't seem like, I was definitely not expecting a sexy movie tonight. As we're going into the movie theater tonight, I'm not expecting any sort of sexiness. Throwing it out there, no sex. Even though Jamie Lee Curtis was very sexy back in the day.

She was. And it's still like, you know, a sexy older lady. She's a sexy activity, activia spokesperson now. Activia, yeah. Activia, yeah. Well, and that's what, but then that's all the thing is that she's a, So Jamie Lee Curtis is kind of under attack because she is in real life

she is fairly anti-gun. Oh yeah, that was so silly. That is really dumb. Well, that's just people who don't really know how things work. No how the fiction works. It's a movie. She's against guns and then she uses a gun in a movie. But also, like, in real life,

Jamie Lee Curtis did not get hunted by a huge murderer that can't be taken out by guns or fire or anything else. So, yeah, real life, Jamie Lee Curtis has no reason to have a whole bunker filled with guns. Fair. Yes. I support fictional Jamie Lee Curtis's use of fire. Yes, I support the Second Amendment in horror movies. In horror movies.

You know what? If we could all agree on the Second Amendment in horror movies and then leave the rest of it to you know, we can say it's more complicated. Your own thought. Amendment. It's amendment time. I just, I think, but also it's like, yeah, most people also don't dedicate their whole lives

to getting back at someone that's been in jail for 40 years. Jamie Lee Curtis looks banging, though. As an older woman, my mother was like, I was talking to my mom about it. She's like, I feel like they, she's like, wow, the makeup artist, they really, they really made Jamie Lee Curtis look so,

old. I was like, mom, bitch is that old. What are you talking about? They didn't old her up. That's just how she looks. She just didn't have any makeup on. And I think she looks great. She's probably, what, close to 70 now? Yeah. I think that she might be in her 70s if I, if I am not mistaken.

Original Halloween was 40 years ago? No, she's not. Yeah. So she was nice. Maybe they did older up. She was just a teen in regular Halloween, right? Yeah, she's like 17, 18. Well, I think that she looks great. She opened up now. Now she's coming out about her opioid addictions, which is rough.

I guess she was pretty into opioids for about 10 years, and no one knew about it. It never even got leaked. And now she's being very open and talking about it. But you know what good for her? Get out of your system, girl. She's been sober for 20 years. She's killing it. And you know what?

She looks great in some bell bottoms. She wears the hell out of some bell bottoms in this. movie. And she did in the old one as well. She's tall. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. But this one goes out to you, Molly. I don't know if you saw that they're making a movie of Are You There God? It's me, Margaret. It kind of made me throw up in my mouth.

I will watch that. You love it. I hated it. I mean, I hate Reddit. It wasn't like I was actually, I was like a snarky 12-year-old through Reddit and I was like, this is stupid, but I also need it. You know, it's like, I'm going to read all these YA books to learn about my period because nobody talks openly about things. And so, you know, I was into the YA books for girls. And also they were like a little bit horny.

You know, it was like, oh, I'm a 12-year-old. And they have a crush on a boy. So it was a lot of subverted, confusing feelings that worked their way out in those books. And I will totally be here for, are you there, God? It's me, Margaret. I hope they do it in the style of wrinkle in time and just get like a bunch of superstars to do it. Yeah.

I well it's also so James L. Brooks is is going to be the executive producer of it but I think that it's good so it's the same person that did have you seen the edge of 17? I haven't. You should watch the edge of 17. It's they got they did good with the whole teen feelings in it. It's the same, it's that woman who made the edge of 17 is doing this.

So I am excited about it but what I am actually terrified of which I would love to hear your thoughts on the fact that Guillermo del Toro is doing a stop motion picture of Pinocchio. Perfect. Pinocchio is a freaky fucking story. Yeah. Gailmo Del Tori, he can do pretty much anything you want.

Yeah. I think that's great. I'm actually really excited. I mean, y'all know I wasn't that huge of a shape of water fan, but I do love his other works, and he's making it for Netflix, and I'm, I think it's going to be creepy as fuck, dude. Yeah, it's going to be amazing. Yeah, that's a great idea. I'm really excited.

about it. So I just wanted to share that. Get you guys all pumped. There's other creepy things coming out because in my brain Are You There God, it's me. Margaret is along the same lines as all of the horror movies that I just said. I don't want to think about bleeding. A 12 year old girl

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It's over the list! Yeah! Who's on the list? Marcus, gotta have that list. Actors who refused to work together again. Oh, that's spooky. Who's on the naughty list? Well, you know the whole, you know the Jim Carrey Tommy Lee Jones story, right?

I don't think I do. Well, they worked together on Batman Forever. Oh, yeah. Jim Carrey was great and Tommy Lee Jones absolutely fucking hated him. The night before they were going to go shoot a scene together, Jim Carrey went and said hi to Tommy Lee Jones. And Tommy Lee Jones got up, hugged him and said, I hate you.

I really don't like you. And when Jim Carrey asked why, Tommy Lee Jones said, I cannot sanction your buffoonery. Why? Wow. I think that Tommy Lee Jones might be in the wrong here. I think he's in the wrong hair. You know, I just watched the Truman Show about a week ago again.

You know, a nice Sunday afternoon movie. It's delightful. It's still a delightful movie. That guy from Truman Show is in The Americans. It makes me think about the Truman Show a lot. You know, I feel like Jim Carrey actually is a good actor and a good dramatic actor as well. Apparently that show that he's in on Showtime is good, I heard.

And I can admit, I mean, if he was like always being Ace Ventura, in real life. I could imagine it might be a little bit exhausting at some point, although I do really like Jim Carrey, but I feel like Tommy Lee Jones was being a asshole. I feel like Tommy Lee Jones was in the wrong here. Although if I were to deal with Jim Carrey every day at the height of Jim Carrey's Jim Carreyness,

I don't know if I'd sanction that buffoonery. I mean, I understand, especially like when you hear about how he was on the set of Man on the Moon, when he wouldn't get out of character, which in, you know, in theory, and what it was, it made sense, but that would, that would, because, like, you wouldn't even get on the set. Yeah, that would be. You wouldn't listen to anything.

But I kind of like to imagine when, uh, when Tommy Lee Jones says to Jim Carrey, I don't like you picturing Jim Carrey, just be like, why not? But, but I'm me. I'm Canadian. Everybody loves Canadians. I'm Jim Carrey. I'm the most beloved actor in the entire world right now. What?

I mean, but, but, like, also, Batman Forever, must have been filled with a lot of tightness. I love Batman Forever, right? That was Batman Forever with the Ridler and Two-Face, right? Yeah, with the Riddler and Two-Face, yeah. I would like to go back and, because I haven't watched it since I was a kid, loved it when I was a kid. I would like to go back and see just how bad it really is. It can't be that bad.

I would imagine it's probably pretty awful. Yeah, but Chris O'Donnell! You got your Nicole Kidman. That's the Val Kilmer one, right? That's the Val Kilmer one, yeah. I fell asleep, but that was not the fault of the movie. It's still in my brain, though, pure sex. At least it didn't have Mr. Freeze in it, right?

That wasn't Mr. Was that Mr. Freeze in Poisoned Ivy? Yeah, that was Batman and Robin. I'm thinking of, I'm mixing the two. That's, I see you. Ice to see you. It's right. Shit out. Cood off.

I'm not going to look up all the Mr. Freeze puns. I forgot. New list. Here. There are all the puns. Mr. Freeze used. I have to watch, I think I need to watch all the Batman soon. Tonight, hell freezes over.

Yeah. You can watch, what's the one, is it Batman 2? That's the Christmas movie? You can watch that on Christmas. That one's great. I'm afraid if my condition has left me cold to your please of mercy. Jesus, every line, every line of it. Cool party.

Yeah. And he looks so dumb Hey, hey guys, what kill the dinosaurs? The ice age. That's not a joke. Accurate. And then finally, let's kick some ice. Oh, God, damn it.

It's perfect. Molly, we should throw that on as one of the Patreon movies that we watch together, can we please? Yes. Yeah, you should, yeah. Because there's Alicia Silverstone's back girl. You got the back credit card. Ais to see you.

I used to see you. Yeah, that is the one Batman I would be, not the only one, but that is one Batman I would be very excited to rewatch. It's legitimately pretty awful. Hell yeah, I'm on board. You know why Aunt Viv, the original Aunt Viv, left Fresh Prince? Why? Because Will Smith was a dick.

him and the other kids used to torment her. Aunt Viv. Aunt Viv, yeah. So they got her new Aunt Viv. Well, you know, they needed a stronger woman, I guess. I understand. Especially Aunt Fiv was supposed to be the one that, like, is the stickler. She should have been able to take it.

Yeah, they were always replacing people in 90s sitcoms. Whatever happened to the first Morgan from Boy Meets World. They just replaced her with a different girl. Although I like that they always made mention of the fact that she wasn't the same little sister. Did they? Or they just... Oh, yeah, yeah, no, they were very...

Yeah, they were completely self-aware of it, and I thought that was hilarious. It always annoyed me, though. What happened to the first one? The second one was too cutesy. That's the thing. That's why I like the other one. She was kind of a bitch.

Yeah. Everyone hates Shannon Doherty, but we knew that. Yeah, that's a kind of obvious. Yeah. We don't really even have to go into that. Richard Gere and Sylvester still don't hate each other.

Why? Oh, wait. The hamster. thing. Well, it was rumored that Sylvester Stallone was the one who started the hamster rumor. Uh-huh. He says he's not. He says, that's the rumor. The rumor is that I started the rumor. That's the rumor. Then where did the rumor come from? It's a rumor. Sly. Sly. I mean, I feel like other than being actors, it doesn't seem like those two have a lot in common. Well, apparently, during the filming of a movie called the Lords of Flatbush, Richard Gere spilled greasy food all over his pants.

Oh God, not his pants! It was greasy. It was crazy. You got gross food all over my pants. My pants. I like that. Like, if that is what upset him, it's like, Sly, you don't even have to deal with cleaning those pants.

That's not even your problem. You just pissed off a bunch of costume people, for sure. But that's not even your fucking problem, dude. Maybe he just didn't like the way that he dealt with it. Yeah. Maybe he started eating it right off of his crotch. Oh, I'm not going to eat this without a plate now. Oh, no, my pants.

Oh, my penny. Oh, God. I don't know what accent that. That's not an impression. Oh, my pants. Oh, my pants are ruined. Oh, we got a fetid a chain it. All my face.

It melts off of my body. But I got my do. All right, it's time for blind items. We can't see him. This alliterative director sent out a casting notice for hundreds of children for a reboot of a classic musical when no kids are necessary for the movie. Steven Spielberg. Yes. Whoa.

No kids needed for the movie and it's a musical? It's a musical. Beloved musical. Beloved, beloved musical. With no kids in it. No kids. No children. No children.

But teenagers. Goats! Goats! Goats! No, it's nothing to do with goats? Kids! No! No, no, no, no, no, no children. Like goats? Grease? No. I got really excited.

Grease is close. Okay, but it, oh, but it's a reboot? It's a reboot, yeah. What has teenagers in it? Teenagers. They're fighting. They're snapping. They're fighting. Oh, West Side Storm. He's doing a big order for a bunch of kids and no one knows why.

Oh, God, they're not doing a children version of West Side Story, are they? I love West Side Story so much. I know you do. Now there might be a whole bunch of kids thrown in there. Oh, God. I don't know. I'm not against it. I'm not against it.

Children singing and dancing. I don't hate it. I know you don't hate it. and I'm proud of you, but also Stephen, Spielberg. Get a life. Stephen. Jesus Christ. Next up, this B-plus list actress really deserves to be a C-lister at this point

because she really does absolutely nothing. At this point, she's surviving on that massive divorce settlement. She does have A-plus list name recognition, though. Apparently, as a part of that settlement, she's not allowed to talk about her ex or anything tangentially. related to him, that would make for a boring interview. And that is why no one talks to her. Jennifer Gardner.

Nope. Katie Holmes. Katie Holmes. Can't say a single word about Tom Cruise, anything about the divorce, anything about Scientology. So, yeah, she just kind of sits there because she can't do press for her movies because no one wants to talk to her about Scientology.

But also, Katie Holmes isn't that great of an actress anyway. No. She got a raw deal, though, man, to be like, Like, oh, everyone knows you for this one thing, but you cannot talk about it. She said yes. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, yeah.

She said yes. She said yes to the cash. Yeah. She bought into it. Yeah. Give me the opportunity. Yes. I say yes.

Get me a contract. I'll do it. I will do it. I think it's fine. I think that, but I find it very interesting because I wonder what the difference is or if there is a difference because Nicole Kidman was just recently talking about her marriage with Tom Cruise. and they, which I thought she did in a very classy way,

because she was talking about how, like, she's like, I felt like I was in a cage through my, she's like, I was so young and I was married. And she's like, and it's someone that was, she's like, I was beautiful and I was, I was famous. And he helped shield me from a lot that I think that a lot of young actresses go through. And then, of course, they were immediately on her just like, oh, are you saying bad things about Tom Cruise?

And she's like, no. She's like, in fact, she's like, I don't. don't say anything bad about not only Tom Cruise, but also my husband right now, because I think that it's disrespectful to talk about people when they're not in the room and like shut them all down about it. But I wonder if it's because of the contract. I don't think she has a contract. I think maybe she has, I think Katie Holmes has a contract because of Nicole Kibman. Not having a contract. Not having a contract. Ah ha. See, that makes more sense. But at the same time, what I'd love then is that means she chooses not to badmouth him. Yeah, because

Nicole Kittman didn't need a Tom Cruise divorce settlement because Nicole Kittman was a star in her own right. Katie Holmes, on the other hand, she had Dawson's Creek money, which is pretty good, but, and Batman money, I guess, but not like big, big, big, big money. So she took the money and ran. Yeah. She signed, yeah, she signed that document herself. She had money her, she had money of her own, but she wanted more. So she took the divorce settlement. So, yeah, this is a bit of Katie's doing here.

Yeah, and also, but at the same time, it does keep her with enough money to, like, to continue her lifestyle for the rest of her life. Yeah. Wouldn't she say yes? Yeah, I mean, that would totally take being rich and not having to be a famous actor anymore. That sounds great. But it's, it's just like. But can you just doing nothing all day? Yeah.

And you wouldn't be happy doing nothing all day. No. And then if you couldn't talk to anybody ever about anything because of Scientology, it would be scary. No. Yeah, but think of how tight you would be, because all I'd be doing is, like, hate working out. And we're like, ah, Tom Cruise, Tom Cruise. I would just, like, scream his name as I was doing my push-ups, right? Why not?

Or is that too angry? Is it too angry of a thought? I think that that's justified. I'm going to say A-OK. Am I sanctioned? Sanctioned? Thank you. And so we got time for on today's page, Kevin.

Thanks everybody for listening. Thank you guys so much for tuning in this week. My name is Jackie Zabrowski. You can follow me on Instagram. I'm Jack That Worm. I'm Molly Neffle, and on Instagram I'm MJKLK. I'm Marcus Parks, everything. And if you are dig what you, if you are dick, what you are for listen to,

please hit us up on our Patreon pages. Patreon.com slash page seven podcast, that is seven the number. And on there, we've got our poll out for what creepy deep, movie Molly and I are going to watch next week for Halloween, for our Patreon viewers. So please go on there and vote because it's all over the place. But don't worry, I made sure to keep it in the realm of nothing that would terrify Molly too much to bring her to tears. Thank you.

I cannot leave the recording session to go hide in the room in the back of my house just like I did when I was watching Hill House. You have to defend your child, Molly. Ooh, I'm going to get you so many knives for all the different parts of your house just in case you ever get attacked. And I need to get you a taser. And also, quick question, can I give all of Fear Street to Freddie when she turns 10? Yes. Yes. All right.

Good. Thank you. Sanctioned. Sanctioned. Can I show her the Texas Chainsaw Masker movies at the same age that I saw them? Absolutely not. Molly, you're no fun. If she finds them herself, then that's a different story.

But I will not lead her that way. All right. fine. I guess we respect your wishes as a mother. Mother. Mother. The sink isn't braced yet. I love you guys. Thank you guys so much for listening. And we will talk to you next week.