Page 7 - Episode 277: Donkey Money

Episode Date: November 2, 2018

Jackie and Marcus discuss the Heidi Klum Halloween party, questionable celebrity Halloween costumes, Wookie holes and seasonal milk flavors. Get $10 off your first box at http://fabfitfun.com with promo code: pageseven Go to http://koparibeauty.com/page7 to make the safe switch today, and save five-dollars off your first order when you subscribe! Save $20 on your first Simple Contacts order at http://simplecontacts.com/page7 and use promo code: page7. Make a spooky mistake! Support us on Patreon! https Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

I just want to go ahead and say up top here, Marcus, that I'm sorry. For what? So I want to buy these shoes for my mama, please. It's Christmas Eve in these shoes are just her size. And you hurry, sir. Daddy says there's not much time. You see, she's been sick for quite a while. and I know these shoes and make a smile.

I wanted to look beautiful when Mama meets Jesus tonight. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. I hear the crowds they are saying, yes, the holidays have returned. Because it's not my fault that there are no good Thanksgiving songs. Whatsoever. I mean, we can jump ahead. We can jump ahead to Christmas shoes. I always have to reach back in my mind and remember what the lyrics are to that song because I only hear it like, well, I hear it like six times over the course of November and December. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I think that four of those times are from my mouth. Six of those times are from your mouth.

That's not true. They play it everywhere. I was trying to look up other Thanksgiving songs. Like, I remember the 10 little Indian songs. You can't sing that anymore. And, I also, it's like, it's like, what do, I think we have to make up a song. We have to make up a Thanksgiving song. Yeah. Eat me. It's like, it's the giving day. Eat me.

That's what, Adam's Family too, right? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, when Pugs, he's the fucking turkey. So eat us before we finish this song. You're right. Wait, are there more lyrics to it? Yeah, absolutely. Yeah.

All right, I'll look it up. I will learn it for next episode and everyone, can hear it and it's going to be great because it's just like I was trying to come up with the song too where it's like Thanksgiving give me the bird Thanksgiving going to stuff it in my turd where the turds come out where the turds come out you put the stuff and in where the turds come out beautiful thank you it is just it's a it's a it's a me and Marcus show today. That's right. Yeah, we had to do it on Friday because we had to record a whole bunch of last podcast episodes this week so we could get over to Texas next week. So it's only me and Jackie

today. And I wish Molly could have come as well because I wish I also had Molly's perspective on the Heidi Klum Halloween party that we attended on Wednesday. And just so everyone knows, this is my first insight into the Heidi Kloom party. I have not talked to anyone about. it yet so I'm very excited to hear about it also Molly and Gideon looked so cute as mr. Rogers and what was he the conductor mr. McFeeley mr. McFeeley and they were so cute and I know that well also on Halloween Molly since it was Freddy's first Halloween she wanted to take her to the Halloween parade and I guess that's fine I understand oh it's the baby's first Halloween I guess it's a big thing

but I know that you guys had such a a great time and you and Carolina looked hot to trot. Oh, thank you very much. We went as Malta and Scully. We had a fucking great time. I pretty much just used the suit that I wore to Henry's wedding and put an FBI clip on it and did a little part my hair. I was done. I mean, that sounds about the amount of effort I usually put into my Halloween costumes as well. Because I always have great ideas through the entire year. I'm just like, ooh, I'm going to be that for Halloween. Oh, and also I forgot that I wanted to go as Cunter S. Thompson for Halloween. Because a good friend of ours that watches our hold a nice Twitch stream every year,

every year, every week. I wear my big yellow sunglasses and she's like, you should be Cunter S. Thompson. And God, it's such a good idea. And I didn't do it. It's a wonderful idea. Yeah. But there's always next year. There is always next year. Next year, I think I really want to go as Ursula. But like sexy young Ursula. Ooh, I like that. I think. It's a wonderful idea. I need eels. That would definitely give Heidi Klum's Princess Fiona Uncanny Valley costume a run for its money.

How did it smell up close? So if anyone has not seen the pictures of Heidi Klum, she and her boo went as Shrek and Princess. Is she a princess? You know I've never seen Shrek. Yeah, Princess Fiona. Yeah. Okay, Princess.

Is she a princess before she gets what she? Is Shrek a secret prince? No, yeah. Ooh. Man, you're really testing my donkey knowledge here. Dog you chicken donkey. I do not know because we, what happens with we got there. And thank you very much to Jennifer for inviting us and bringing us in.

Who is an amazing person, by the way, because we went back and forth when I was like, oh, I can't make it. And she was so good about everything. She's like, what can I do to get you here? I was like, I'm sorry. I'm just, I'm trashed with work right now. Everybody gets it, you know. Oh, yeah. No, she was great.

She kept us in booze all night long. It was a wonderful, wonderful fucking time. But yeah, we showed up at the same time as Heidi and her boo. And they came in writing, like, I looked down like 58th Street and I saw like, there's someone writing a gigantic garlic clove down the street. That's a lot of fun. It was a lot of fun. And they came in and it was all weird and everything.

It was weird. It was a really weird night. Yeah. Because I checked the, it's fine, like I checked out the pictures the next day. And I was like, oh, this place was full of celebrities, but we were all, it was so dark and we were all so trashed. We only recognized one of them. Who did you recognize?

If you will look at your phone right now. Marcus before it. He's like, I want to send you these pictures, but I want you to look at them while we were recording. And we are not. Neither one of us are big fans of this person. Oh, my God. Neil Patrick Harris, are you kidding me?

Well, we were sitting there, and we just, we figured we could have a, we wanted to see, like, how we could get a picture with a celebrity without being like, hey, can we get a picture with you? Yeah. Neil Patrick Harris and his husband dressed up as, you know, princess bride and- And, Diego Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die. Yeah. And it's a fine movie, but it was like, go tell them it's my favorite movie and you want to take it.

You want us to take a picture. Go tell him that the costumes are awesome. And, you know, we'll just take a picture. I'm like, all right, great, right. So, yeah, we did it. And afterwards, I was like, and he complimented us. He was like, y'all's costumes are great. You look awesome with X-Files and all that.

I was like, oh, thank you very much. Thank you. It was like, we took the picture. I was like, oh, by the way, I'm Marcus. He's like, Neil, nice to meet you. Oh, my God. God, I love him. And then he introduced me to his husband as well.

What was the name, David? Yes. Yeah, David as well. I follow them fervently because I am a creepist. And then the only other celebrity that I recognized was Ice Tea, who was just kind of sitting there. Oh, yeah, with Coco. With Coco? But they had, like, I just saw the picture, and I didn't see the explanation of their costumes.

Were they goolies from Riverdale? I think it was just like a purge type. of thing. He doesn't put much effort into a costume. But I looked at him, he looked at me, we stared at each other for a second, and then we both nodded at each other. That's awesome. I love him. I love him. Just like, hello. I acknowledge you, are a celebrity. And I was pretty much it. And then we realized the next day when we were looking through the pictures and all that, like, oh, we were partying next to Heraconic Jr. all night. Cool. I was wondering if I saw him, I was like, did they be very kind of cute?

No, we were partying right next to him, and, like, who else was a Mel B? Uh, it was also, like, that was like the little, like, there was us. It was funny because it was like us fucking monsters that had, uh, put set up like a table, like this was our table. And so, like, there were all these little tables around, you know, and it was us monsters, like, all dancing and having a fucking great time. And, uh, yeah, thank you, thank you, Jennifer. And yeah, and, and also, if you look at the other picture, we actually did get a picture

with Princess Fiona herself. Whoa, with Heidi Klum herself. Yeah, she did not seem happy to do it, but did it as a personal favor to Jennifer. That's amazing. But also, what did the costume smell like? Did it smell weird? It was a smelly room anyway

because it was in the basement of this club that was very hot and very, very loud. But the Questlove DJ set, fantastic. That's awesome. It feels really strange to be talking about. about all this stuff.

Right? It feels really, it feels really weird. But it's fine. It's, it's totally cool. Like, it was a,

it was a very fun night. And I think, I thank Jennifer for it. That's amazing. I spent, uh, it was great because, uh,

my, my man friend came over because he knew I was sad that I couldn't go, so we had fuck a wean instead. So that was, he was like, well, maybe we'll make it,

well, let's watch movies and, uh, and just like, you know, and touch each other. And you know what? I was fine. I loved that. I was very into it. But I didn't get to meet Neil Patrick Harris, but I'm okay. I'm fine with it.

You're fine with it. Did you see their family photo shoot of like, because, oh my God, oh, they are just, their family is everything I've ever wanted. And it drives me insane because I am the creepest that follows all the Instagram stories and watches his Instagram every day. And they went as, like, as the family, they went as some of the haunts from the haunted, what is it, haunted, Mansion. Mansion. Couldn't think of the word. I just kept thinking house. Haunted house. No, from the haunted mansion, from Disney, and they looked amazing. That's great. I'm so excited for you guys, but I bet it was hot. It was, yeah, because I was wearing a suit the entire time. Molly almost passed out because she was wearing a Mr. Rogers sweater.

She was probably so hot. Oh my God, poor baby. Were they tanking it, though? I hope they were tanking it. They were tanking it. Yeah, it was their first night out from the, like, from the baby. I know. And that's why when I talked to her earlier that day, she's like, I'm going to be fine. I'm not going to cry. I will have a good time.

I was like, you're going to have a great time. Yeah. The baby will still be there when you get back. They tanked it. And they did not spend the entire time talking about the baby. Good for them. Yeah. I know that must have been difficult for them.

And I'm proud of them as well. They had a fucking great time. Everyone had an awesome time. We ended up at the library at like one in the morning, had a few more drinks, and then went home, passed out, and dealt with a quite horrific hangover all day yesterday. Oh, man, I bet. Were you guys drinking spooky drinks? It was just vodka and tequila. They just kept bringing bottles of vodka and tequila to the table, and we kept draining them, and they kept bringing them.

Oh, my God, that's amazing. But also, I imagine how your stomach felt. Oh, man, it was pretty, it was, I had a hangover that lasted until about. 11 a.m. today. I bet. We can't do those things anymore. Uh-uh. But you know what? We still do them. Hell yeah, we do. Every once and a while. You gotta do them. It's like once every like four or five months, you know, you got to do one of those. And then you remember why you don't do one of those anymore. Although I will say we did have two of those in this month because one of them was Henry's wedding. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's rough. So that's why the second one's even rougher.

Yeah, because also Henry's wedding was like a full weekend of that. Whole weekend of that. Well, that's why I'm drinking my new drink. I'm calling it spooky mistakes. I created it for the Patreon. Molly and I watched The Craft and we had a great time doing our drinking game, but it is Fireball and Apple Cider and Apricot sparkling water. Oh, that sounds like a spooky mistake.

It's a spooky mistake. It creeps up on you and I was like, I'm not drunk, I feel great. And then all of a sudden you're just slammed with the sugar high as well. And you're like, oh, God, I made a spooky mistake. And you're just sweating cider. Oh, one other thing about the Halloween party. Please. Jughead was there.

But I did not see him. I did not know about that until the next day. Was Lily Reinhardt there too? No, she was not. Oh, okay. That's fine. That's fine. So you mean his mouth was open for kissing?

Yeah, I would imagine so. Yeah. I don't know. We kind of stayed in our one little circle. And the only reason why we knew about Neil Patrick Harris was because him and his husband were like dancing above us. Oh, that's amazing. I just feel like I've always wanted to use the line,

when the cats away the mice will play As you go in for a kiss And I feel like that's what my line would have been Do you think it would have worked? You know what? We're going to go ahead and say yes Since we'll never know Let's go ahead and say yes

Let's throw a yes on it I feel like that's a great intro line And I feel like for anyone out there You know that wants to kiss on someone That is patroaths, don't do it But if you do do it, use that line. When the lilies away, the frog will sink to the bottom. Ew, what does that mean?

Will he sink? Because his girlfriend's name really Lily Reinhardt. Oh, that's good, Marcus. Oh, then I'm the bottom. The frog will sink to the bottom where all the dead flies live. Juicy, juicy buffet for a wolf. One frog. And I'll keep going with that until he kisses me just to shut me up.

Get out of here. Let go. You know what? Get out of my face. Sorry, sorry you baby child of a man. I love you. It is, I know, he's a child. He's in his 20s.

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Yeah, I'll pull my knees in. tight you time warp. Did they have the carriage with the baby Shrex in it the entire time? No, they left that outside. I don't think they didn't bring that because the party was at the room was actually fairly small. Kind of cramped, very cramped actually. Oh, really?

At certain points, yeah. Well, yeah, because Henry kept sending me videos as he got drunker and I couldn't hear or see anything. No. And I was like, stop sending me videos. I can't see. I don't know what's happening in any of these. And he's just like, yeah, Halloween, Heidi!

Heidi! It's like, stop screaming Heidi and sending me videos. I appreciate the fact that he wanted to keep me included, and that was very nice, but also it was very dark in the room. It was very dark, and that's why I was, you know, like four feet away from Harry Connick Jr. For like three hours and yet never once. Had no idea. Yeah, no idea.

You know that man smells good. Even in a room like that, you know that man smells. good. I bet. I was really excited. I mean, I know that Beyonce was not at the party, but did you see her costume? I did not. She went as phony Braxton and went as like OG Tony Braxton and she looks hot as shit. Oh my God, she's so hot in this picture. I'm just staring at. I feel like I want to print it out and put it up as a poster in my room. And I love that she had the whole photo shoot done too with the phony Braxton in the same lettering as Tony Braxton's album on it, which is, you know what, classy.

It's a classy move. I like it. I like it a lot. I love her so much. And then I ended up listening to a bunch of Tony Braxton and staring at a bunch of, like, that he wasn't man enough video from Tony Braxton. I think it was from like 96. She is so sultry with her deep, dark voice.

And you know what? She gives, she gives inspiration to all that have deep voices. Give me some Tony Braxton. I can't think of a Tony Braxton song. Unbreak my... Say you love me again. Undo this hurt you calls when you walked out the door and walked out of my life.

Yeah, man. She's sexy as fuck. But I also, I think I've talked about it on here before that I've watched way too much of her reality show. Didn't even know she had one. Oh, it has been on for way too long. I believe it's on the, it's called Braxton Family Values. It's on the Wii Network.

And I believe that they have seven or eight seasons of it. Wow. Yeah, it's all on Hulu. It's all mostly, it's just her other sisters being like, I sing too, you know. But I really, I've watched too much of the show. Yeah, I understand. There's one Halloween costume that I,

I really want to talk about that you sent to me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The gynecologist Seymour Bush. Oh my God, what was he thinking? As portrayed by O.J. Simpson. It is such a creepy, creepy, creepy move to go as a gynecologist, Seymour Bush. It's like, O.J., what are you doing, man? And it's like, yeah, talk about a lady killer.

Come on, guys. If he did it, what, have a fucking bad Halloween costume? He just stopped off at the fucking Halloween store on the way and grabbed the first thing that made him giggle. What I like is that it's obviously from a package because in the picture that I'm looking at right now that was posted on TMZ, you can see the folds of it being in the package. He just took it off and put it on. Yeah, he took it out of the plastic bag and the car outside. He's just like, yeah, I'm the smartest guy around. But do you think, is that good?

OJ, is that a good move? I mean, he was in Las Vegas, and I know what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, but still, ugh. Ah, man, I mean, that's the thing is that are there any bad moves left for O.J. Simpson? I guess not. I mean, now he can do whatever. I think at this point, as long as he's not actively breaking the law, then there's not much that OJ can do to come back now. You're right.

Yeah, but he is back. He's also getting his own reality show. It keeps stopping and starting. You know it's going to go at some point. I don't know because it's just so, the idea is just so gross. Yeah. And it's so awful, you know, to know, like it's the first reality show It's like, let's follow an acquitted double murderer and see what his day's like.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But the worst part is, is that it makes me think of that Black Bear episode. I know I'd watch it. Yeah. I hate that I know that I'd watch it as well. Yeah, of course we would watch it. It's quite insane to think about the possibility of an OJ Simpson reality show, but it's very real possibility in the future.

But the other thing is that OJ. Simpsons also a fucking mess. Yeah. Yeah. Drunken Coke had mess. Yeah. Yeah. Because I mean, honestly, at that point, how else do you get through the day? I wish that they would show that part in the reality show. Then I feel like it would sell. Like, how much of a mess is O.J. Simpson's life? Then I think that that should be how he makes his money off of it.

I'm sure they're on their fourth or fifth pitch right now, trying to find the network that will say yes. I feel like they probably just can't get enough footage of him. not doing blow and getting shwasted. And that's why they can't do the reality show. She just does it too much. Yeah, can't even get enough footage for the pilot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Also, I liked Alec Baldwin's family when at some sort of NASA team.

At first I thought it was the Challenger crew, and I thought that was rough. Like, woo! I think that they're just NASA people. But also this morning, he got, Alec Baldwin got arrested for punching somebody over a parking spot in New York. Well, parking is difficult here. I mean, parking is difficult. And I have definitely been to a point where I've almost punched someone.

Yeah. So I get it. But also, you're Alec Baldwin. Don't punch somebody. You know it's just going to be a big thing. It's like have your head for a second. Yeah. Take a Xanax.

I don't imagine he's full of that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would hope so. But also, who was really cute was Harry Styles, dressed like Elton John. That is pretty cute. He killed the costume. I think he looks great as Elton John.

Who is Harry Styles again? He was in one direction. Ah. But now he does all of his, he does a bunch of solo work, and also he, like, I mean, I'd lick the drippings off that honeypot. And I'm saying that I don't even like Winnie the Pooh.

But you didn't see Padma? Padma was dressed up like the Black Swan. She was at Heidi Gloom. party. Oh, you know, I might have. I'm not sure. Too dark. Too dark. I'm really, I'm really not sure.

There was one dude that was like one of the coolest Freddy Krueger's I've ever seen, but I don't, I think he was just some dude. What made it so cool? Great makeup, awesome claw. Yeah, just a nice, just the right size for a good Freddy Kruger. I feel like they've got to be really sad that all the people that spent so much money on the makeup to get there. and then it all just sweats right off.

You know, they actually didn't sweat off on that person. Really? Good for him. Yeah, he was good all night long. But also was Heidi Kloom in the costume all night long? Because that must have been hot as fuck. All night long, yes. Her and her man were like, they were kind of standing up above everybody and just surrounded by bodyguards.

Whoa. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, we had to get permission from the bodyguard to approach Heidi. Whoa, that's awesome. Yeah. Oh my God, that's amazing. How much time she must have put in. But also, you know what?

Good for her for not going as something sexy and scandalous. Yeah. I mean, there was a definite uncanny valley thing going on as she was walking around and you just kind of saw it. Because they looked, it was very, very good makeup. And they did look like real life versions. Like, it kind of made you feel like you were on drugs a little bit, which is pretty fucking cool. Can you imagine being on a bunch of hallucinogenics in a place like that? Ooh!

I think I'd lose my mind. There was definitely some people on like fucking Molly, but... Oh yeah, was there a lot of touchies? Seemed like it, yeah. Yeah, a lot of grabsies. I bet a lot of people got laid in those bathrooms, though. Well, no, I would say those bathrooms very bad for getting laid in. Why?

Bathroom attendant. Not very good at it. Yeah, I would say probably not. They probably had to go somewhere else. Oh, that's sad. But I mean, you could always, there's always the back alleys. You know, that's what New York is for. Back alley pumps.

I mean, it's not, you know, it's not clean, but it does the job. And you know one of the weirdest things to see is to see like a gaggle of paparazzi. To see like paparazzi chase after celebrities, it's fucking strange to see like 30 of them all at once. What, as like, as people were leaving the party? Yeah, like I saw Victoria Solstead playmate of the year. Yeah. Of course he saw her. Of course that's what you saw.

And, you know, but I had to think, I didn't recognize her. Henry recognized her. But yeah, like 20 paparazzi's were just like running after, surrounding her. Like, I mean, they were like fucking, I mean, it was like watching piranhas around a fucking carcass. It was crazy. I mean, that's just. I mean, I know it's like, you know, oh, it's what everybody signs up for, but sometimes that's rough. It's like, let them just leave.

Yeah. Let them have their time. I mean, that is the night, though, of course, that they're going to follow. She was totally fine with it. But it was just so weird to think, like, all of these people are making money right now. Man, that's insane. Just get, and then, like, selling all those shots. Is that what they do?

Mm-hmm. Yeah, they sell the pap, the paps, sell the shots. Eh, with the paps for the paps. And also, Lupido was at Heidi Kloom's party, and she was. was dressed up a share from Clueless, and she looked hot as shirt. I did see her. Oh, you saw her too? Yeah, I did see her, yeah. Oh my God, she's so beautiful. I would have just blown her kisses from far away. That's the thing, I'm just such a creepist. I feel like I would have been like taken out for leering, you know? But I guess that's the party that you go to to leer at.

Yeah, it is somewhat of a leery. I don't know. It was a, it was a pretty, pretty chill-axed atmosphere. Did they play the Monster Mesh? No, they did not play the Monster Match. But the DJ set was absolutely fantastic. Had a great time dancing. Hell yeah, that's amazing. Well, I'm glad O.J. Simpson wasn't there because you guys would have had to get a picture with O.G. Simpson, and then you would have been one of those people.

Oh, yeah. Well, we're going to be one of those. One day. One day. One day we're going to meet him. One day. We're going to get that. One day we're going to get that O.J. Simpson, Casey, Anthony,

picture that we've all been waiting on. Man, and Lindsay Lohan's outfit, I don't know if you saw. the one that I sent you where she has a sexy handmaid's tail dress on. There was a woman in a handmade's tail costume at the party we went to. Not sexy though. This one is a bit,

yeah, I don't think she got it. No, Lindsay Loanne has the handmade's outfit on, but underneath it's all mesh. And, you know, I love my mesh, but not on a handmade's tail outfit. I don't know if she's watched the show. No. Or if she's just like, I like that clout.

Oh my God, it's red. I love red. I'm going to put on that clout. I know that. I know that she's smarter than that. But, you know, you never know. Yeah, you never know with her. But now it seems like a bit of bad taste.

Although what wasn't bad taste, what was, I'm going to say, I'm throwing it down there. My favorite Halloween costume that I've seen is Jessica Simpson and her husband, Eric Johnson, when as Danny DeVito and Arnold Schwarzenegger from twins. And she looks fucking fantastic. That's pretty good. How great is that costume? That's, that's weird. It's really weird.

I love it though. It's so weird. It's such a great choice. It makes me so, when I saw it made me so, I was like, who is that? And you know it's a great Halloween costume when you have to say who is that. Yeah. Oh my God, but it made me so happy and also got me all jazz because, you know, the next twins is coming out soon. I don't think it's coming out soon, but it's going to be out with Eddie Murphy.

Eddie Murphy's going to be in the new twins? Yeah, he's the long lost third brother. Science. So it's not a remake, it's a sequel. Oh yeah, baby. It's Twins part two. I'm hoping it's called Twins to the Triplets, but I don't know. He's one of the brothers, though.

It is called triplets. Is it called triplets? Yes. Eddie Murphy, what do you do it? It is the filming has begun. Does he need the money that badly? What about Hercules? Hercules.

He's got to still be making money off of that, right? I'm sure. Yeah, and I'm sure he makes donkey money too. Don't get in my belly. But I did see that Mike Myers was there and took a picture with Heidi Klum and her boo as well, which I thought was very fun. Mm-hmm. I was seen very, yeah, I was also surprised. It was like, oh, yeah, I think I saw.

that guy. It was after looking at the pictures the next day, it was a lot of, I think I saw that guys. Hell yeah, that's awesome. Some that I definitely remember and then some like, I think I saw him. I, uh, well, not to switch gears real fast, but I do want to throw out a quick congratulations.

Two. I want to throw out a quick congratulations to Amethyst Realm. She is the English woman that we were talking about just a couple of weeks ago who is now engaged to her ghost partner. Congratulations.

You got him, girl. I think one of my favorite lines out of this article is talking about how their souls identify, that they're soulmates and they're meant for each other. The fact that he's a spirit, that's by and by. I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts, doodity. Sometimes it's the smallest changes that can have the biggest benefits. Like thinking, hey, I could lust on that hornbill. Zazu, just as much as I would schnaz on adult Matthew Broderick Semba. And here's an easy change you can make that your body will thank you for.

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That's what I don't understand. So she met him, what I like is that now I know more about the story. She met him in Australia. They fucked. On a plane. And then, yeah, they end up,

well, they fucked in Australia. And then she's like, Usually the spirits don't follow you, but then when she was on the plane, she felt his energy, so she fucked him in the airplane. Ah. Which technically, I guess, answers our question about the Mile High Club because she says now she's in the Mile High Club. And then when she got back to England, he asked her, it was the first time that she heard his voice to marry her. At England's Wookie Hole Caves. Yeah.

So she got married at Wookie Hole. Is that what the British call their busts? Or my wookieo My wookie ho, you both B'all, you old ghost man You old spirit Put my wookie hole I think that is

I think that might be I love calling my pussy my wookie hole Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh no, my poor boyfriend He's gonna love it

He's going to love jamming his stalag titanier wookie hole. Yeah, baby. Which one is a wookie? Ror. Is it that one? Yes. He's a wookie, right? Roar.

Yes. And then I'll just open up my lips and close them and make that sound. Ror. Oh, God, it's going to be a rough next couple of weeks for him. Sure is. But now not to also move this. along, which we have to discuss it, Marcus. Okay.

The chilling adventures of Sabrina, which people are now lovingly called chaos, C-A-O-S. How much of it did you watch? 33 minutes. That's it. That's all I could take. Marcus. It's terror. I hated it.

I hated it. Is it just that you didn't like the girl that plays Sabrina? No. It was the whole. It's a show, okay, it's a show for like kids, like kids, kids, kids. It's a show for like... But it's not, though, because it gets sexy and it gets really dark. I know, that's the weird thing about it is that it's like written for kids.

Like, it feels like it's written for like 12-year-olds. I think that you have to, just for me, watch it, watch it through the end of the second episode. Okay. Just at least try it. I'll try it. I'll try it. But it, I don't, I don't. I don't know. I just didn't vibe with it, man. Didn't vibe with it at all.

I understand where your pause comes from because I definitely at first was just like, okay. I mean, I was like, I'm going to love this. And then I started watching. I was like, oh, no, are they just trying to be Riverdale? And they're not going to do a good job. But I do like how spooky. Now, I'm only on, I'm on the third episode right now. So I have a lot more to watch because it was a bit of a week. But it does get spooker. my, see, my issue with it is, is that I feel like that they are kind of, and I mean, this is some real talk here, I feel like that they are making a mockery and a cartoonization of Satanism. Yeah.

That it's like, that it is definitely to a point where it's like, Satanists do not like, feast on the flesh of the mortals. And people, like, all, and Satanists don't wear all the macabre and we don't talk like this and like when the high priest comes and he's in the robes and the sharp fingers and everything and he's got like the big cane with a big like you know like lion's head on the top it's like okay it is a bit uh it's a bit much with it but i do like it i think the whole for me i guess the whole show is just a bit much yes like it's uh it's uh because there's there's certain like i can like i know riverdale's not for me but but

But I still love it because it's just, I don't know, it's like dumb, I guess. And like a very, like in a certain way that I appreciate and that I can have fun with. Yes. But like, it's weird. It's like, like Sabrina feels like specifically not for me, you know? I understand. And also, Riverdale, you didn't even want to try. And the second you started watching, you're like, okay, I'm in.

Yeah, I started watching it on a plane and it was like, this is fucking great. Yeah, I'm in. I'm fucking totally in. Yeah. But yeah, it's, yeah, what is it? Yeah, Supreme, it feels like specifically not, like, I felt old watching it. I do feel a little old. Yeah.

I do feel a little old, especially as, well, because they did get people that are more towards the ages of the characters, which I think is good. Yeah. And I think that they're all doing a great job. Yeah, I mean, they're all fine. They're all totally fine. But I definitely just felt like this isn't, this just isn't, like. Like, I didn't say like, because I never have said it's bad or anything like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, no, no.

Yeah, yeah. It's just not for you. Yeah, it's just not, yeah, it's not for me. It's for the kids. It's for the kids. Yeah, it's for the kids. I mean, you know that I'm going to keep watching it because I love sexy teen shows. And this is definitely, I think what it is too is that you like it's so over the top bad that it's good.

Kind of. And this, I feel like this is just like, it's gearing up to be just good. Yeah. And it definitely gets there. And Balkees in it. Yeah, Balke is in it. And I did appreciate Balke being in it. I thought that was a good play.

That made me happy. Jackie. Don't be ridiculous. Whoa, you're balkeying. You palkeyed you. I've balkied you. I fucking balkieed you. Don't you fucking belkie me, man.

Don't you fucking balkie me, man. I think that's even better than Don't tase me, bro. Don't you belkie me. Don't be ridiculous. Oh man, both of our accents are on fire. Although I will say that I kept seeing all of these articles about the teen orgy, and I did look up just the teen orgy scene to watch that. Because have you met the three bad witches? Yeah, they're in the first episode.

Like the sexy girls? It's them in the teen orgy. And that was a lot of fun. Because I can't remember because I'm still like. I said, I've got a lot more to watch, but the main bad teen witch is sexy. Maybe that's part of the thing is that like they do look like, because Riverdale's like they're supposed to be what, 16? They're all obviously in their like mid-20s. And Sabrina, they all look like teenagers. They all look 15, 16. And it's like there's too much. I don't

want to see those types of kids being sexy. Oh, so it's scary for your peepee. I understand if it's scary for your peepee. It's not scary for my peepee. It's just like, I don't need to see the little girl from Madman being all sexy. I don't need to see that. But she's not too sexy. I feel like Sabrina, that's all point is that she's like, good. I guess so.

You know, the rest of them are so sexy. Also, Aunt Zelda, man, she could be my auntie. I'll tell you this, I loved the ants. The ants were very, very, because it's, It was, what is it, Don from the British office. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And she's great in it.

She's cheeky. Yeah. She's not cheeky don't get. She's just cheeky. We like a better when you, you're cheeky. I'm going to continue to watch it, and I'm going to continue to talk at you about it. You know what? I take back.

I rescind my asking you to watch it. I'm just going to have to hear me talk about it. Yeah. But when I finish it, I will tell you my overall how I feel. All right. I like all the Riverdale references. Yeah, that is not. I'm sure there's a lot of great ones.

There's a lot of them and it makes me very excited. But I do think it's kind of fun though, too, that a lot of the things that they're doing in this show they couldn't do on the CW. Yeah. So it definitely gets like, it's gross. It's dark. But also they're being sued,

they're being sued over the use of baffimit by the Satanic Temple. Ooh, that's fun. Which is, I think, very interesting because it is put into such a, negative light, the whole idea of Satanism. And so they are, they are suing them for, like, defamation and the use of, like, their, their religion as something and trying, like, essentially just saying that, like, we're not like that.

Yeah. That's not what we do. Yeah. So I kind of, um, go for them, man. Hell yeah. Yeah. I, you know, I'm, I'm a little bit, I'm definitely on the church on the temple of Satan side here.

Me too. Like, I'm really, I'm down for it. Like, because I, you know, I kind of kept thinking like, guys, my culture is not your costume. I like, I like it. I like, I like this line. Which is why then I started like thinking more and more about this where it's like, again, yeah, it's not, it's not cannibalism. Yeah. That's not what happens.

It's very, it's very different than that. Yeah. And you're making everyone. And that's what one of the tweets said is that you're inciting, you're trying to re-incite satanic panic again. Yeah. For no reason. with your fiction.

Yeah. Well, I mean, I think that's going a little bit too far with it. Of course, but you know, they are intense.

They're super intense. Yes, they're very, very intense. Yeah, and it's fun and everything. It's fun and it's fine and all that.

But it's, yeah, it's a little, I don't know. It just, I didn't, I didn't vibe with it. Didn't vibe with me.

I will say they upped their sex factor with Harvey Kinkle because Hachimachi what a hot teenager. What a hot teenager. He's 22, I looked it up. I'm allowed to say it, he's 22.

Is that the boyfriend? Yeah. He's cute, though, and he loves her, and he calls her Breina. And Zeta's aidesa's a prima because he loves her too much to say the whole name. I can't wait until someone starts calling me Acky. Oh, Acky. You kiss me. I love you, Acky.

Oh, no, and someone can just call me curse. Hey, curse. Hey, come on over here, cuss. Cuss. Hey, cuss. You won't be, you won't kiss all me, cuss? Better than call me Mark. Oh, yeah, no, no.

I like Marky, though. Marky's fine. Because that's just silly. I'm totally, I'm, I'm down with Marky, but Mark. You're not a Mark. I'm not a mark. I'm not a mark. No, you're not.

But you're way more a cuss than you are a mark. That's for sure. Hey, cuss. Hey, cuss. Oh, yeah, look at old cuss over there. He's gig in there. There's a barned there's a kiss. I sent you another article, and not because.

because it has anything to do with anything, but just because it made me really, really mad that Target is launching a sugar cookie-flavored milk. Sugar-cookie flavored milk. And you know how I feel about milk. Yeah. And I feel like this is, you know what? This is the hill I die on.

This is where I, you know what? I don't get offended by almost anything. Yeah. This offends me. This offends my very core. That it's like, that's all thing. It's like, it's like, Santa came and dipped his cookies in the milk.

But then you had the milk that Santa drank. It's like, what are you talking about? They've got 12 new milk flavors. New, there, that shouldn't be. No, no. Chocolate milk, yes. I'm even down with a strawberry milk. But this offends me.

You don't want to taste maple pecan flavored milk? No. No. It's so But also it's like There are creamers out there Yes I delight in all of the Basic bitch drinks at Starbucks

I love a pepper bit mocha I love a maple pecan latte because there's espresso in it Yeah do it go for it But just maple pecan Milk Why? Why did you do this I want to go I think I'm going to go and protest

protest. You're going to protest to the local target? I think I'm going to go protest to the target and I'm going to be alone and I'm going to have my regular normal ass gallon of milk and I'm going to drink it and be like don't need nothing. I don't need nothing. I can just drink it. I'll just sit out here

in the 82 degree weather and I will drink that milk and I will love it because I don't want your garbage because if you're going to dip your cookies in milk that is fine. I'm not a dipper myself but I understand how it tantalizes some.

I'm a dipper. 100%. And that's, because then you chose to make it cookie flavored milk. But how much milk do you dip in it? I fill up a big full glass and I just like keep dipping until like the milk slowly goes down. See, I'll dip and I'll put the cookie in my mouth

and I'll chew for a little bit and then I'll put more milk in my mouth and then chew a little bit more and then swallow that down. Whoa, you do a chewer up. It's like you're making a shake inside of your mouth. Yep. Have you ever said that aloud to someone? No, I absolutely never have.

I think that that is, you know, because it's like one of those things that you don't realize that you do that's like, maybe that's weird because you never said it out loud. Even after I say out loud, I still don't. I think it's very reasonable to do a cookie, to do a cookie drink and chew them up. Yeah, but do you do the whole cookie? Yeah. Or do you do bite?

Well, I do bites, and so you just make it last longer and longer. Oh, that's kind of nice. All right, I'll try it. I'm in. But I refuse to drink the sugar cookie milk. Yeah, as do I. So they just put more sugar into milk. Yeah.

This makes you want to throw up. Although I did just see also the eggnog-flavored vodka that is also being sold in stores this holiday season. And that's a little rough as well. What is happening? Why? Why the shortcuts? We're running out ideas. Is that what it is?

Yeah, we just have to keep inventing new things to sell. But there's a lot of things. Because these people got to do something. But there's already holiday things that you can buy, like listening to Christmas shoes, four times a day. I do it during the months of November and December. There are too many people in America. We got to fill all these jobs somehow.

In order to fill the jobs, we're a capitalist society. so we need to keep producing and we need to keep making shit so people will buy it so other people can get paid. We're nearing the end times, Jackie. I want to record myself drinking this milk just so I can shit on the milk. Just so I can go, it makes me think of

like when Tim Allen and the Santa Claus said that he was lactose intolerant and when he comes the next year and he goes, something wrong with the milk and she goes, you said you were lactose intolerant because it's soy milk. Uh.

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But all more Christmas movies are coming out soon. Oh, you know, we're going to make this the list. Yeah! Who's on the list? Marcus, gotta have that list. Definitive Guide to 2018's Made for TV Christmas movie. Oh, my God, there's so many of them coming out. I can't wait for it.

Yeah, oh, okay. So it starts on November 22nd. Good, because I was afraid that this year, because me and Carolina, love watching Hallmark Christmas movies. I was afraid that we weren't going to get to see any this year because we're spending Christmas at her parents' place. And I don't know if they got the Hallmark Channel, but... You should buy them the Hallmark Channel for Christmas.

I'm not going to ask, I can't ask them. I can't. Please ask them. Call them up with the phone. Just quick question about Christmas. It's a very important question. Do you have the Hallmark Channel? Yes.

Oh, you don't? Okay, well, looks like somebody's getting an upgrade. Just, yeah, just call their cable provider for you. them make sure that they get it. So on November 22nd, we can watch the Christmas contract. Oh, God. Oh, no, wait, that's a lifetime. I don't know about it. You're going to have to buy them

a lot of channels. Let's November 22nd. You won't be there yet. No, we're actually going to be in Texas on November 22nd. But that's lifetime. And lifetime doesn't have the same panache as Hallmark. Because Hallmark, Hallmark Christmas movies,

sidestep every real problem in the world. That is true. Yeah. You mean like mingle all the way? That's Molly, the founder of the titular app that matches busy professionals for events without the hassle of romance. She gets paired with Jeff for their upcoming holiday engagements. If that sounds familiar, you're likely thinking of course. Of course there's another one made about the same thing.

But at the same time, isn't that just, um, isn't that just like a call girl? Isn't that what that is? But they just like slap it in an app so then it's like, then you think that there's nothing wrong with it, even though there's nothing wrong with it in the first place. No, of course not. I'm very pro it. Oh, yeah. But I also, I'm going to have to watch Christmas at the palace.

That's former professional ice skater, Katie, is hired by the king of San Sonoma. To help his daughter prepare for a Christmas performance, she wins the king's heart, but will his subjects accept a foreign ice queen? I have to watch it. That's an, oh my God, it's like Christmas beautician and the beast. I am going to watch the, that's November 22nd too. Oh, wait, is that Thanksgiving this year?

November 22nd, yeah. Fuck, yeah. Perfect. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. We're going to be, we're going to be deep into Texas. watching the Hallmark channel. Perfect.

Although Netflix had a great sleeper hit last year with a Christmas Prince, and so I feel like you should also give the Netflix ones to try, like The Princess Switch starring the Vanessa Hudgens. But they're also making... I'm sorry, I'm looking at the list. I shouldn't be looking at the list. I just get excited.

Oh no, come on. This is Christmas time. It's for everybody. This is for everybody. They're making a sequel to a Christmas prince. They're making a sequel to a Christmas prince. I, oh, but they're making it political. No.

Yeah. See, that's the thing is that, uh, Hallmark, I don't think they even know, like, they don't even mention that, like, presidents exist in Hallmark. Oh, no, no, no. It's, Christmas is its own encapsulated world as if they are living inside of a snow globe, which is what I like about Hallmark Christmas movies. Yeah, I don't think they even, like, the concept of governments don't even exist in this, in the Hallmark universe.

It's just some. non-descript town way up in Canada where it's always Christmas. Marcus, can we go to that town, please? Yeah, and yeah, that's for all the listeners out there. There is actually a Canadian Hallmark Christmas town where they just film Hallmark movies all the time. All year round, and we have to go. I want to make a Page 7 field trip. Everyone is invited.

I'd like us all to go. We'll storm a set and then we'll be in one of the Hallmark Christmas. movies. Okay, so Christmas and the Evergreen, that's, because this list actually does list all of the Christmas movies by trope, and this trope is, oh no, the family business is in trouble. They're really good

at, the trope names are on fire. This is a vulture list, by the way, everybody. Look it up, please. Let's fake a relationship that spoiler alert turns out to be real. That's the first one. I love it. Every girl wants to be a princess, or does she? Does she? Yes, she does. Evergoal wants to be a princess. The family business is in trouble.

That's one of my favorite tropes. That and, you know, career woman discovers the meaning of Christmas. Those two are the ones that I really enjoy. You mean that one? I think that's under the trope. Will an ambitious woman get her big break? That's a good one. An ambitious woman inherits property that allows her to slow down enough to fall in love.

That is important to the tropes. Oh, yeah. So wait, I'm stranded. here is pretty good as well. Oh yeah. We're saying Hallmark movies and mysteries, that's a channel? What is wrong with me and

why don't I have all of these channels? How did we get them? What is it called like Splace or something that you can get individual channels? Splays? I want that. Splice? Splice.

I don't know. Splice. Spice. An event planner can't plan for this. Christmas is literally magical. Oh, Tyra Banks. She's returning for Life Size Part 2. Wait, wait, is that a Christmas movie?

Yeah, apparently it was on freeform. Oh, no, wait, it was a 2000 ABC TV movie called Life Size where I think she's a doll that comes to life. Yeah, but it's not a Christmas movie, is it? Yeah, it was a doll. Interesting. For Christmas. Shot of Parkinson's.

Ooh, a creative woman is artistically and romantically blocked. Oh, Christmas at Grace Land. I will watch it. Laurel, played by Kelly Pickler, is supposed to be in Memphis for an acquisition, but her old flame music promoter Clay wants her to remember when they made beautiful music together as a duo. Is it horrible that I'm already tearing up? That's November 17th.

That one's even closer. Hallmark movies and mysteries. What is this channel? What is this channel? High school sweethearts are forced to reunite. Oh yeah. That's always a good one. I know that we talk about this every year, but I'm still sad that that has never happened to me on a Christmas.

It hasn't? No. Oh, yeah, we talked about it last year. I know, and it'll always make me sad. Yeah, I'm sorry. But what makes me the most sad is the fact that I don't have the Hallmark Movies and Mysteries Channel. Yeah. Someone is a baker.

That's a great trope. That is a great trope. Ooh, a ginger. Oh, Tiamari. Who's Tia Maori? I'm sorry. Tia Mowri. One of the girls from Sister Sister.

Oh. Chad Michael Murray. Oh my God, they are bringing out all the stops this Christmas, guys. Of course, return to Christmas Creek. We've got a good Stephen Weber kick in our Christmas season. Thank Christ. Nice. Very nice indeed.

See, that's the funny thing. I think everyone, that's like, you know how everybody watches like Halloween movies all throughout October? It's just, I can't wait for December so all the Hallmark Christmas movies can happen. And I can like forget about like murder and like horror for like a couple hours every night. Yeah, I just want to get drunk and look at it and be like, that doesn't happen. And then you're like, uh-huh. But what if it could?

Oh my God, Lacey Shabair stars in Pride, Prejudice and Mistletoe. It's a gender swap pride and prejudice. Did you control F Lacey Chabair? I did it. I just popped up. I'm just looking through to see I was like where's Lacey Chabair and where's Lori Loughlin? Yeah, that's Lacey Chabair's only one this year.

That can't be true. Well, you know, I'm sure that they'll play all the, you know, the re, you know, her greatest hits. They'll play the hits. They do have 24 hours a day for 31 days to fill a Christmas movie. so we'll see. I am really excited. I feel like I, because I do, I love Halloween so much.

Yeah, it is definitely, I feel like I've got like four different holidays that are all my top holiday. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, of course, like Fourth of July is always my favorite holiday during Fourth of July. Yeah, of course. But then November 1st I woke up and I kept going, blah, blah, blah, blah, pull my giblets, pull my giblets. And I think of that so much. fun but there's not enough Thanksgiving movies. No, there's very, well, there's thanks

killing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't think I've ever seen thanks killing. Ah, don't worry about it. Is it not a good one? It's fine. I just feel like this is, uh, ha ha ha ha ha, ha, I just look at thanks killing. Look at that turkey. Yeah. It's a possessed turkey. I have to watch it. What do you mean? Don't worry about it. There's three of them. Yeah, go for it.

You might like it. I think you might like it. I'm definitely going to like it. I hope it's on shutter. It's probably on shutter. Probably, yeah. All right, start for blind items. I can't see you.

It's just me because it's just me, guys. Well, listen, we got one blind item today. This one kind of goes along with something we were talking about earlier. Cheeky donkeys? No, no cheeky donkeys. Apparently, the child killer, all of you know, is marrying one of her customers because he got her pregnant. O.J. Simpson? No child killer. Casey Anthony?

Pregoes and getting married. Who would knock her up? One of her customers, because she's been working as an escort for a while now. But then pay to, but you just. The dirtiest of payments. How do you have a child with Casey Anthony? What are you talking about? Yeah.

Wow. Oh my God. Wait, is she actually pregnant? Like, is that like? It's blind items, so who knows? I mean, I know it's blind items, who knows? But at the same time, like, that's one that we will know for sure once she starts showing. Yeah, we'll definitely, we'll know for sure.

sure if Casey Anthony has another child. But that's the thing is that there's nothing stopping it. They can't take her away. She was acquitted. Jesus Christ. But also at the same time, it's like there should be like cameras in the house, right? Like something. No, she's not guilty.

She's acquitted. So she doesn't even have like, oh yeah, she doesn't even have like the bracelet or nothing, the ankle bracelet. The ankle bracelet. No, she is 100% not guilty. But she did it. Marcus. I know she did. But she like definitely, she killed

her own kid. Well aware that she murdered her own child. Does she think it's going to be easier a second time? I don't know. It might be. I mean, she's obviously going to have a wealthy man taking care of her. And she is older now, so maybe she's wiser. Could be. That's all we got time for today

on page 7, everybody. Thank you very much for joining it. Very upsetting. Very, very upsetting way to end it. Yes, I agree. She's going to kill it. kid. She's going to kill the kid, Marcus. She's going to kill the kid. But if you want to smile, you could go over to our Patreon page. It's patreon.com slash page 7 podcast. We are going to be watching fun Thanksgiving movies. I'm up in the movies this month, but also in December,

which I forgot what I'm calling it. I came up with a cheeky name, something about ho, ho, ho in it. I want to watch Hallmark movies every week in December. that I would like everyone to watch with me if you are a $10 up Patreon subscriber and I'm going to cry and get drunk and I hope that you will bring the eggnog flavored vodka because I refuse to buy it

but I'm not above trying it and join me. So head on over to our Patreon page and come on, have a drink with us and make some spooky mistakes. Love you guys, thank you so much. I think you might like it.