Page 7 - Episode 285: There's So Many Butts in Mykonos

Episode Date: January 10, 2019

This week we're talking "The Masked Singer", Lindsay Lohan's new show and ding ding ding! There's a new DILF on the scene. Get 20% off your purchase at http://wanderbeauty.com/page7 Get 15% ...off your first pair at http://meundies.com/pageseven Get your first refill pack free at http://getquip.com/page7 Acid Jazz, Bossa Antigua, Too Cool, Zazie, Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/ Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:08 guys, it is a special song that has been in my head for an entire week to the point that I don't know what I'm going to do with myself, but I also know that ain't nothing gonna break my side and my house'll be down
Starting point is 00:00:24 oh no, I got to keep on moving and you can fit that song into almost anything you say in your daily life in a very upsetting way because I just will randomly go, oh, no.
Starting point is 00:00:40 And I think that I'm upsetting everyone around me. Oh, no. You got to keep on moving. I will say it makes me never want to stop working, never stop moving, which I guess that means that that's a positive force in my life. Is it a good thing? I mean, I feel like the phenomenon of getting a song in your head and using one of the lyrics from the song,
Starting point is 00:01:08 to like inform and motivate you and your day and your like philosophy to life is an under acknowledged phenomenon that guides all of our lives. Like we're all really just getting through our day, you know, telling our, like in my house, very embarrassingly, we for some reason can't stop referencing the song from like four years ago that goes,
Starting point is 00:01:32 why you gotta be so rude. And you could just use it whenever anybody is in. It's great. Whenever anybody does something kind of impolite, you can be like, why you got to be so rude. Oh, you're welcome. That's such an obnoxious song. I don't like it. Yes, a lot of trash radio songs make their way into my thoughts because of, I think, because I'm going to blame New York City because we hear like trash radio songs a lot in New York City.
Starting point is 00:02:02 No choice but to hear trash radio songs constantly. Yeah, and then they just start informing your. actual words that you choose to speak. Oh, no, but why you gotta be so rude? It's bad. Don't you just, why did you add that into my head? I like to get it back to you sometimes, Jackie. No.
Starting point is 00:02:21 Oh, my God. I feel like you can hybrid both the songs too. Oh, no, why you gotta be so rude, which I feel like is what I'm gonna start doing inside of my head. So I guess thank you for getting a different one in there But I'm just gonna make a hybrid song Where's that mashup? I want to see where it gets to by next week It's like it's like you're playing like the world's longest improv game
Starting point is 00:02:48 Where whatever inspiration you have this Wednesday It does a lot of leaps and then by next Wednesday we're in a new place I think that I'm I think it also tells a lot about you of where the where your earworms go Because my best friend constantly for as long as I've known her her mainstay song that is always in her head is, Dan, dan, da da da da da da da. And Madeline, it's like, you can just go, and she's like, why do you?
Starting point is 00:03:16 Ah, da, da, da. She's like, because my life, it's constantly like I'm living inside of a circus. That's interesting. I don't think I've ever had one song in my head for like my whole life. You don't have one? I think that would be hell. I think it rotates. I mean, I always have a song in my head, definitely.
Starting point is 00:03:33 And usually there's more like five. But I don't think that there's one that can go back like a decade. Marcus, you don't have one in there? No, just the one that I've had my head for the last couple weeks is don't stop me now. That just keeps playing over and over in a loop, the Queen song. See, that's a fun. But again, that's at least it's a motivational song. Yeah, it is.
Starting point is 00:03:52 And you just want to keep on moving. Yeah, actually, it seems like me and you have like the same kind of the similar song stuck in our head. I got Don't Stop Me Now, you said nobody hold me down. Yeah, you're going to keep up moving. But the line that I keep thinking about and Don't Stop and Can't Stop Me Now is just that. But I always think it's like, it's what they call me Mr. Ferenheit. I'm like, yeah, I'm Mr. Ferenheit. I'm not going to speak a life.
Starting point is 00:04:23 But that's a great part of the song to have stuck in your head. It's always the worst when you have the worst part of a song stuck in your head, you know? We're just like, why do it have to be that part of it? Which is definitely the case with why he's got to be so rude. That is very obvious. Although arguably the worst line of that song is, Can I have your daughter for the rest of my life? Say yes, say yes, because I need to know.
Starting point is 00:04:48 Daddy wants a new daughter. I want it for the rest of my life. Actually, but I will say good on you for no. more lyrics than just why you got a mean long run. I think what happened was I was in the car with like some, like a, with a child who years ago, who was singing it and she knew every word. And I just sat there and was like, that's what this song is about. It's about a guy going to somebody's dad and being like, can I marry your daughter?
Starting point is 00:05:23 And the dad's like, no. No. I do not like you. Why you got to be so rude. You know, Mr. Why you got to be so rude? That just... It's the young man who says to the dad, why you got to be so rude.
Starting point is 00:05:35 Oh, no, that's the... Why you got to be so rude? Mr. I came over here in good faith and you're just being rude to me. That's just what you're doing. It's set in Minnesota. Why do you have to be so rude? I just don't think that you need to. Because also, that's quite...
Starting point is 00:05:53 I feel like that's a weird response to a father saying, no, you can't marry my daughter. Yeah. That's not my first would be like, come on. But I'm like I really really love her Please new daddy I really really love her That I would get
Starting point is 00:06:09 And it's not that I think that fathers should have to give Permission for their daughters to marry whoever they want But for some reason I trust the dad I feel like this guy's an asshole No I mean you know you gotta be rude Every once in a while Yeah just like all of the
Starting point is 00:06:25 I will say guys I watch the mask singer last week. Oh, please tell me about it. Please reenact it for me because I want to know. It is. I think that rude is a way to describe it. Rude of how I wasted my time and I'm going to continue to waste my time watching it every week just so I can yell at the television. I'm just like, how, how? Why would they? But you know what? I'm watching it. Is there only one mess singer for the whole episode slash the whole show or are there several masked singers throughout the entire event.
Starting point is 00:07:00 There are six masked singers. I think six, maybe eight. I will say I definitely popped in and out of the show. It's not one that you don't need to sit and watch the entire thing. But that thing is, though, is how brilliant? How brilliant was the advertising? That I don't even live in New York anymore, and it's not like I'm constantly surrounded by advertisements, but just the random ones I would see.
Starting point is 00:07:24 I'm just like, what is this? fucking show. And it made me look it up. Yeah, I don't think I've seen a single advertisement for Masked Singer here in New York City. I haven't seen it on Subways. I've just seen it on the TV. It's like they put on like a Legends of the Hidden Temple mask, right? And then dance and sing.
Starting point is 00:07:41 It's a whole, it's a full body garb and character that they have created. So essentially what the show is. It was based on another, I believe it was a Japanese reality show. they were doing the same thing. And so you don't know who's inside of it, but when they are introduced, there's this little video that gives you clues
Starting point is 00:08:04 of who could be inside of the costume. And then they go up and they battle each other singing, I don't know how they choose the songs that they sing. Like the first dude that went up was the peacock, and the peacock sang Hugh Jackman's The Greatest Show
Starting point is 00:08:21 from the Great Showman. I don't know. I don't know why that's so perfect for this show, but it's just like, that's, that song is fun, but also it's just like, that song is like a little too fun. But then there was a hippo singing Bobby Brown's my prerogative. Interesting. You know, there's, I found a site that has theories on who each mass singer is.
Starting point is 00:08:45 Oh, interesting. The peacock, the big frontrunner, so the peacock is David Hassel. Hoff. Interesting. Neil Patrick Harris. I don't think that he has the time for this show. Yeah, I don't think so either. But this last guy definitely has the time. Donnie Osmond. Ooh. Really? It's going to be that. We're supposed to guess somebody's voice and it's going
Starting point is 00:09:11 to be like a B-list actor. I was assuming it would be like, I don't know, Celine Dion or somebody would be like a recognizable voice. That's the thing. They give little hints. The hint on this one is it's probably been a while since your mom had a poster of me on her bedroom wall. Oh, please. Can they sing? Are they good singers?
Starting point is 00:09:31 Most of them actually are. But then obviously it's like, you know, the maparagative, which is not that difficult to sing. But David Hasselhoff, like, I've seen David Hasselhoff's music videos. In fact, I would watch him right now. I love them. But the man cannot sing. No, no, no.
Starting point is 00:09:48 I wouldn't describe him as a singer. He's dancing on the Berlin Wall. Jump in my car. I want to. take you home. He's got to keep on moving. I understand. Jump on my car.
Starting point is 00:10:00 It's way too far to walk on your own. Wait, maybe I will. Was he on the Berlin Wall when he was singing Hooked on a Feeling? Because I remember that. I remember that he sang that. He did Hooked on a Feeling, and then he made that really creepy music video of Hooked On a Feeling.
Starting point is 00:10:15 Then he made jump in my car about the car. Get out of my dreams. Jump into my car? It goes, jump in my car. I want to take you home. And he's driving around in that night rider And he goes, jump in my car It's way too far to walk on your own
Starting point is 00:10:31 And then he drives up to some girls And the girls are like, well maybe I will And he's like, oh baby, want you for it? That's a whole thing. The jump in my car music video is absolutely breathtaking. So the whole premise of jump in my car is just like, hey, let me give you a ride. Street harassing women. I'm telling you, we should watch it.
Starting point is 00:10:52 It's spectacular. It is, I spent like a whole year watching this music video. Jump in my car. The man is not a singer. We will be able to use a sound bite from this video and compare it to the masked singer and isolate whether or not one of them is David Hasselhoff. And then we'll live. I mean, I enjoy where your head is at with this, but I'm also sad that you have never brought this up, Molly.
Starting point is 00:11:14 I want to watch you reenact this video because I think you'd kill it. I might still know all the words. I thought that I must have because it really is like a foundational. text for me. Oh no, I just, the still of the video when you look it up is just David Hasselhoff with flames behind him, which immediately makes you want to watch the video. It's incredible. It's like the quality of I think you might like it level music video. Oh yeah, these are hoochies. Are you looking at this, Marcus? I am also looking at this as well, yes. I...
Starting point is 00:11:45 Come in my car. This is free ham. And he's so old. He's just so old. He's just so. old. But you know what? Now you put David Hassel off my head, it would make sense that it was him on the mass singer. Yeah, I mean, if the mass singer has about a four-note range, I mean,
Starting point is 00:12:08 he does do hook down a feeling, which has more than that. But jump in my car. Yeah, that's for you. That's four-not- Take you home. Jump in my car. Yes.
Starting point is 00:12:19 I want it. Yes. It's way too far to walk on your room. I feel like it's a lot. So you're watching this. I will say that the costumes in Masked Singer are pretty great, though. What they are doing is very weird. And of course I'm very into the very weird.
Starting point is 00:12:35 But the panelists, the quote-unquote celebrity panelists, are such a weird mashup of who has to decide who is inside of the mask. Because at the end of the first one, you found out it was like, he was a basketball player. He was a footballist. He makes footballs go. That's crazy. I'm not going to guess that.
Starting point is 00:12:57 Somebody takes off their mask with Donnie Osmond. I'm not even going to recognize his face. No, especially not after all of the plastic surgery. He was fine, but he said, so like his clues, this is the hippo. He said, breakfast is the most important meal of the day for a competitor like me. He said he's used to performing in a mask in front of thousands of screaming fans. And he said, every time he wins, he's just got to dance.
Starting point is 00:13:20 Even if it gets him in trouble, which that made me. I was just like, what does that mean? It's because they're not supposed to dance in football. Penalty. Oh, they're not supposed to dance? They're not supposed to dance. No. Too fun.
Starting point is 00:13:31 Why? Well, they can dance a little bit. There's acceptable levels of dancing. They just can't use props. That's seriously the rule. They can't use the football? They just can't use props. They will get, they'll definitely get a penalty if they use props, but they can have a little bit of fun otherwise.
Starting point is 00:13:48 Does the football count as a prop? Yes. No, they can't do their, what is it? Hachah! Hachah! What is it called? Spiking the football. Spiking the football.
Starting point is 00:13:57 Not supposed to do that. It's prop. That's terrible. Let them have a celebration. I think that's my favorite part about a ball game. That's what I love about a ball game. I love when the men celebrate. Someone give me an appletini.
Starting point is 00:14:12 I'm ready to watch a ball game. My undies are too small. My undies are too drippy. Mayundies is just right. Hey ladies, hear me out. Why is it out there that so many underpants companies are trying to do too much for your groinage, but they ain't focusing on what we need to be comfortable. The good thing is there is an underwear brand out there for us that just focuses on being super comfortable.
Starting point is 00:14:50 And it's meondies. I have seen the Instagram ads for Meundies forever. We all have. Because All Panies is ain't always what all panties does. Ew, I'm sorry, I'm never going to use the word panties ever again. Meundies is the goldy locks of underpants, because like me, that little fish dish ain't put up with garbage, no-mo. And you can get the style perfectly suited for you.
Starting point is 00:15:17 Women can choose from four different cuts, all of which are available from classic colors to adventurous prints. I pretty much stick to my black thong-alongs, but now I got thunderpants with lightning bolts on them, because I strike fast, and if you can count after I slap the earth, you'll find my mouth ain't too far behind. Speaking of prints,
Starting point is 00:15:40 why not match your bottom half with your better half and get matching prints for you and your partner? This V-Day season, Miundis will be releasing a new print every Tuesday. Meundies gives meowsies because I'm fixing to get snatching matchy and I can't wait. Meundies has a great offer for my listeners. For any first-time purchasers, when you order meundies, you get 15% off in free shipping. This is a no-brainer.
Starting point is 00:16:09 Get 15% off a pair of the most comfortable undies you will ever put on. Let's get Goldie cocked, locked and loaded, underpants style. Because I have found my match and it doesn't. show through my not really pants leggings. For the days when I don't want to wear pants. To get 15% off your first pair, free shipping, and a 100% satisfaction guarantee, go to meundies.com slash page 7.
Starting point is 00:16:36 That's meundies.com slash page 7. But I do implore you guys to check out this show because the panelists are Jenny McCarthy, who looks like, you know, the cryptkeeper right now. Nicole Scherzinger, who is an unknown who I had no idea from the Pussycat Dolls. Ken Jiang, who don't get me wrong, I love him, especially as someone that it's like, I am breast deep in community right now, and he's absolutely perfect. He's great in community, but he seems like he's everywhere right now.
Starting point is 00:17:08 He is kind of everywhere right now, but also the fourth, and I'm going to dare say, the most problematic, Mr. Robin Thick. Yeah, I don't know why Robin Thick is there. He absolutely should not be there. He's not allowed. Yeah, no. Also, I mean, not even to go down this road, but he has a new, I don't know if it's wife or girlfriend,
Starting point is 00:17:27 but he just knocks somebody else up. And so he's having another kid. Meanwhile, he still has a restraining order out against him from his ex-wife, as well as from his first child. Yeah. Because he was abusive towards both of them. Yeah, Robin Thick is gross and bad, and he should not be allowed,
Starting point is 00:17:42 even on this very, very low-level masked, masked singer show. I just don't want him to get the money for. it's like really weird that it was like Robin Thick made this creepy ass song and then turned out to be a real creep in real life and then like he just sat there for a few years and other like you want to come on on this weird fucking show maybe David Hasselhoff is there I mean I would definitely say yes in a heartbeat to be on this show yes definitely but not if I would I would I'm just saying Robin Thick should be should be in the dog house card it away carted away take him away shoot him out of a cannon.
Starting point is 00:18:18 Hey, you know what the monster's saying? Don't stop me now. Whoa. That's right. And the fan theories for the monster, it's either Seelow, T-Pain, Seale, Wayne Brady, or M.C. Hammer. Seelow is another guy who should not be allowed back? Seelow and Robin Thick can go sit in a room together. Oh, we don't like Seelow? Is Seleow bad?
Starting point is 00:18:37 He has what, I don't even remember what it is, I think that there were some accusations against him of either rape or harassment. All I know is that Henry once sat next to Seelow on a first-class flight. and he farted himself awake. I mean, Ciloh was a sad one for me. Because he's so little. You've ever seen Ciloh like he's tiny. He is a tiny little bowling ball of a man.
Starting point is 00:19:09 To imagine Cilo is sleep on a plane and then farting and then going, and then waking up because it's so loud. You know how loud a fart has to be? To go over the roar of a plane? Like a little cat. Startling yourself awake. Especially with how big his mouth is.
Starting point is 00:19:28 I just imagine him going like, ha! When he puts himself awake. Yeah, I'm, Seelow is one that I remember being like sadder about because I love, you know, various Seelow songs, but especially fuck you. But, and I don't care about Jedd to sing Robin. at all because I hate Blurred Lines.
Starting point is 00:19:50 But Seelow, I don't remember what it was, but I definitely remember that there are multiple reasons to believe he's bad. Although, I mean, getting back to the conversation we had earlier, unfortunately, Blurred Lines is still one of those songs that is always in my head. And it is always on at weddings. Always on at weddings. Get it out of the wedding. It's a fun bop, Molly.
Starting point is 00:20:10 It is a bop. I know. And people will dance to it. And then they'll be like, oh, no, what am I doing? I was in a wedding where I knew for a fact no one in the crowd wanted to do. to dance to blurred lines, but it came on and everyone's like, you know you want it. Oh, God, no! It's so, it's bad. It's a bad bop. But also I'm kind of excited because Carrie Underwood might be the lion on the mass singer. So some of them are professional
Starting point is 00:20:35 singers and some of them are, yes. Our football players. Our footballists, yeah. And some of the, I don't know what else it could be. Like, they, I mean, I guess it goes all across the board of what They said that total of the celebrity competitors, there are 65 Grammy nominations, 16 multi-platinum albums, 16 Emmy nominations, nine Broadway shows, and four stars on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, and four Super Bowl titles. I'm not going to know any of these people. No, I didn't know the footballist. He's a very attractive man, and I would definitely kiss him, but I didn't know.
Starting point is 00:21:08 I'm not familiar with his wares. I think that they should just bring back Mr. Personality if they're going to do masks. Is it the bag thing? Yeah, that was the one where the men were all wearing the creepy Easter Island masks. Beautiful. Beautiful show. It's just that is reality television at its best. Yeah, they peaked in 2003.
Starting point is 00:21:25 And they're just trying to get a good mask show back, and they don't realize what they had with Mr. Personality. I've been watching a marriage-based show lately. Ooh, do tell? Pretty much have me and Caroline have pretty much watched the entirety of the sixth season of 90-day fiancé in the last seven. days. So how is the newest season? Tell me about it. I'm not caught up.
Starting point is 00:21:48 Because somebody recently asked me, Molly, have you watched 90 day fiancé? And I said no. And she looked so disappointed when I said no, because she needed somebody to talk about it. And I felt really bad. I felt like I was a bad person. Some of them are horribly depressing. Some of them are really fun because the people involved are absolutely insane. Like the Brazilian woman is definitely the breakout star, although she has a voice that fucking grates on my soul.
Starting point is 00:22:18 So I was going to meet my occulti because she called her husband's name is Colt, but she calls him Colty. Colty. If my husband's name was Colt, I would definitely call him Colty. Got to. Jackie, you are going to love this Brazilian. I want to get along with my mother-in-law. But Debbie is a bitch. Oh my God.
Starting point is 00:22:47 It's just weird, though, that you brought up that specific woman because Henry was gabbing at me about that woman last night. Because he's like, you're not going off on 90-day fiancé. He was like, no, because I don't live with you anymore. And it was Henry and I show. And so now I fell off of it. And he's like, you got to catch up. Yeah. You got to see what's going on.
Starting point is 00:23:05 I didn't even know Henry watched 90-day fiancé. Oh, he loves 90-day fiancé. Is it Bravo? I'm not sure we watch it on Google Play. Okay. Yeah. But, yeah, 90-day fiancé has definitely become a, we've definitely, I mean, they've gotten, the marriage episode has aired, and there are some problems at the end of that marriage
Starting point is 00:23:28 episode that I hope gets solved this week. Are there a number of couples who we follow throughout the season? Pretty much what it is, you get what, like six couples? Yeah. And these six couples, it's always. It's not necessarily like a man bringing in a woman from another country. There's a couple of them in this season where it's a woman bringing in a man from another country. And actually, those are the worst ones.
Starting point is 00:23:52 The women that do it are the, oh, horrible people. Actually, the woman this season is not that bad. She's actually, she's getting the shit into the stick on this one, actually. Yeah, she fell in love it. It's always they fall in love on a vacation. I was going to say, how do they meet these people? Is it a male or thing? No, it's usually they meet someone when they're on a vacation to another country.
Starting point is 00:24:16 Like the woman met a guy in Jamaica. She's 32. He's 20. And predictable results. Uh-oh. Then there's a woman who met a guy in Samoa. And I think he is, his IQ is very low. He is a fucking moron.
Starting point is 00:24:38 but he does do something that's a little clever, if not extremely devious and horrific later on. So they're all greased up. They're on the beach. Yeah. They F and then they decide to get married and they have to try to get all the paperwork done. Is it a show about paperwork? Part of it. Paperwork's only a part of it, Molly.
Starting point is 00:25:00 Oh, yeah. Well, the guy that's over in Russia and had a baby with a girl named Olga, I mean, the paperwork problems he's having. You're not going to. Because I think there's got to be a lot of paperwork. There's a lot of paperwork involved. But mostly it's about these horrible people trying to fit in into American families. And they are not, they usually do a very awful job of it. Like this one woman is demanding that her husband stop paying child support and kick his daughter out of the house.
Starting point is 00:25:35 Yeah. She's like, you have to choose. You have to choose between. Him and me, I'm priority. I'm priority. Not your children. Whoa. It gets intense.
Starting point is 00:25:45 God, I love 90-day fiancé. Thanks. Yeah, this season's pretty good. It gets a little repetitive. It gets a little repetitive at times as all 90-day fiancés do. Gotta be honest, six seasons seems like a lot of juice to squeeze out of this premise. Dude. But there's a lot going on because it is very, I mean, you know, that's why it is perfect reality television.
Starting point is 00:26:07 It has the draw. because it is so, like, the idea of it, it's just like, how scary that must be to move to a new country that you don't know anything about. And like the whole concept to me is very interesting. But it's so hard and sad, but I do like that it's all across the board of like they're all weird, awful people because it is not, they're not all weird awful people. I'm sorry, I don't mean to say that. But like, they all got something wrong with them. They got a hook. Are they all rich?
Starting point is 00:26:38 No, no, absolutely not. In fact, that's one of the big conflicts between the woman that wants the guy to stop paying child support. She's coming over from Indonesia because he lives in a two-bedroom apartment with his daughter, and he sleeps on a twin bed. And she was not happy to walk into that apartment and find out that she was going to be sleeping on a twin bed. Not happy at all. So, no, they're not rich. But there's always, there's the question, there's always the question, are they just in it for the green car? or are they in it for love?
Starting point is 00:27:13 Some of them are in it for love. I think my saddest couple that I still follow, which is, I mean, that's sad and weird for me. It was Nicole and Azon, and Azon was from Morocco, and Nicole was this, like, fairly just, like, dumpy and personality girl from Florida, and he was this, like, hot Moroccan dude, and all he did was just, like,
Starting point is 00:27:38 he's like she's fat i i hate it here like i miss morocco and i guess i'm going to do this and she's just like kissing other dudes and doing all these like terrible things but like he is very emotionally abusive towards her but she's just as emotionally abusive back to him and she's like 19 and she's got like a four-year-old but she's not mothering the kid and so it's like all this stuff but i'm just obsessed with knowing what happens. Yeah, there is the woman who's bringing the Jamaican dude over. She has two kids from previous relationships because she's already run out on two marriages so far. And they pretty much say in the first episode it's like, yeah, the kids aren't going to be in the shows.
Starting point is 00:28:25 And then they don't mention the kids for the rest of the fucking season until like the last episode. So she pretty much just shuffled her kids onto her other, onto her other, onto her. ex-husband or not ex-husband, ex-boyfriend. And so she's marrying this dude, like, without the kids being anywhere around. I guess I should watch 90-day fiancé. You gotta watch 90-day fianc. It's just dumb people and stupid people. And then some people that you're just not quite sure what their deal is.
Starting point is 00:28:55 And those are the best ones. The best ones are the people that's like, what's your, man, what's going on with you? What's going on in your head right now? I've always been meaning to watch more, like, I really am stuck in, like, I really am stuck in like early 2000s reality TV. Like to me, reality TV is still Joe Millionaire and Mr. Personality. And I feel like I got to catch up.
Starting point is 00:29:12 And I, you know, when I watch like Top Chef, I see the commercials for like, you know, the Vanderpomp rules and all of the new ones. It is fun. And it looks fun. And I'm like, I should watch new reality shows. You should because there are so many moments in 90-day fiancé when you're like these intimate moments
Starting point is 00:29:28 when they're in the middle of an argument and then they get to the end of it and they make up. And you're suddenly struck by the fact there is, there are two men in that room with them. There is a cameraman and a boom mic operator in that room with them at that moment. Very brave. Very brave to have your marital squabbles with two men in the room. And it's also fun to like guests like when did they mic them up?
Starting point is 00:29:56 Like did they have to stop this fight to mic them up? Go back. Take it back to weird. We got to get all the footage. I have, I mean, you guys know, and I know that I've brought this up a lot, and I feel like it's something, maybe I don't talk about enough
Starting point is 00:30:09 is how much I love the polygamy shows that I've been watching. I'm on season 12 of Sister Wives. Wow, you're still on Sister Wives. You were talking about Sister Wives when we started the show. I think that I am, I don't know how they keep making it. I feel like I'm the only person in the world
Starting point is 00:30:28 that still watches the show. I know everything about them. It's very, because that is what reality shows are now, but there is this one polygamy show that is on Netflix that is like, it's called three, it's called three wives, one husband. And it is about this very small Mormon community in Utah. And they built all of their houses into these rock mountain things. Oh, that sounds cool. Which is, it's very interesting. They've built this whole community where they live and it shows the actual real side of having multiple partners with one man at the center of it. And it's sad.
Starting point is 00:31:12 I bet, man. It is. Because I like the idea of a sister wife. I think that that is, I'm very intrigued by it. I know that I personally could never do that just because I'm jealous as fuck. And I like my things to be my things, which is a horrible thing to say about a person, but you know what I mean. Mine, mine. It's mine. It's mine. It's my no touchy. And I, but at the idea of like raising a bunch of children and having help and having someone that like, it's like, so you get the other side of like having different people raise children. It's like, you know, it takes a fucking village. But this is about the actual like feelings that these women, and it's mostly just about the women. It's really nothing, like the men aren't really involved in the show.
Starting point is 00:32:01 So it follows these couple families and just like the interpersonal workings of how these women have to deal with working with other strong women to create a family to create an environment that is good and how fucking difficult that is. So wait, I'm curious, what makes this show different than Sister Wives?
Starting point is 00:32:22 Like, do a compare and contrast for me, please? Sister Wives doesn't get into the emotions of anything. Really? It's just like, we've got all these kids and like, oh, we got to move again because this is illegal where we are. So it's more like the legal standpoints of a lot of that stuff.
Starting point is 00:32:36 And I also really like the kids because I essentially watch them grow up. And like when Mariah went to college and she came out and they were very like, they were fine with it. It wasn't like that, you know, that big thing. And I like that it's like mostly about their religion and how they want their children
Starting point is 00:32:54 to be able to choose whatever life that they would like. And I find, and so I find that comforting. and interesting because it also, like, throughout the show, they've gained another wife and have had more kids, and it's about just like the interplay, but it's very light. Yeah, you can always tell by the music. Like, I'd imagine sister wives has that, you know, the score that they always use, like, when it's like, oh, this situation, it's such a wacky little situation.
Starting point is 00:33:20 Like, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Oh, yeah, and it's like, silly. Yeah. Oh, he forgot his pants. He's got to go to all the. the houses. Too many wives. Yeah, and then, yeah, three wives, one man is like,
Starting point is 00:33:40 sometimes I feel like he doesn't love me as much as he loves the others. That's what Netflix is, you know? Netflix versus TLC right there. But it really is because one of the wives was pregnant and it was like the other woman sitting. She's like, and she's like, and you'd think that like because she looks different and, you know, it's like she's gaining weight and doing all these things that I would feel less jealous. She's like, but she's the one with his. child inside of her. And I just wish it was me right now. And I see the way that he looks at her
Starting point is 00:34:07 because he's, because she's doing God's work right now, because that is our job. And I'm not able to do that right now because she had like, just had a kid. And she's like, it makes me hate myself. It makes me hate myself. It makes me hate myself. And she, like, there was just, but then you're also, like, what you were talking about, there's someone with a camera. You sit there, watch your tooth. Just like, reaches out. Like, they're there. They're there. She's like, oh my God. And it's all the...
Starting point is 00:34:35 But you know what? I'm a watchin the fuck cat. Ding dong, the 2018 witch is dead. And I don't know about you, but I'm resurrecting that dead as a doorknob flavor of life I like to call hope and confidence in 2019. The new year means new resolutions, and we've got one you're working on. to us every day.
Starting point is 00:35:02 Ha! Or three times if y'all butt looking good in that body contrast. You, you, yeah. I'm forever a 13-year-old boy trapped in a grown woman's body. It's your oral health I'm talking about, and with a quip electric toothbrush, sticking to good habits is simple. The guiding features are like a build-in support system for better brushing. Are you a good witch or a bad witch?
Starting point is 00:35:26 I'm good to my teeth, but baby I was born. to be bad, just like the Tasmanian devil. Quip is a superstar and you can lose your head while you're out galavanton down a yellow brick road with a bunch of put-together trash looking for a change in their look. So Quip uses a built-in two-minute timer that pulses every 30 seconds to remind you when to switch sides and to help you clean your whole mouth evenly. Talk about a mouth jitterbug. Actually mouth jitterbugs sound terrifying. But up to 90% of us don't brush for full two
Starting point is 00:36:03 minutes or don't clean evenly. And that's just as scary as a floating head wizard you gotta beg for life-fulfilling treats from. Quip's toothbrush multi-use cover works as a stand as well. It mounts in mirrors and slides over your bristles to pack and protect your
Starting point is 00:36:19 Quip on the go. It's a basket for your mouth toto. And your mouth toto can't sneak out of its basket. like a real toto. But if your quip comes to life, brave little toaster style, I'm sure a quip will replace it. But if it grows eyes and a mouth of its own
Starting point is 00:36:37 and tells you to get to Lorena Bobbitt stepping, you should probably check the area's radiation levels. The toothbrush stand-in cover declutters your sink or cabinet and makes traveling with an electric toothbrush easier. Plus, there are no wires or clunky chargers, and it runs for three months on a single charge. Lord knows how long. She lived in her mind's rabbit hole, but if she had it,
Starting point is 00:37:00 Kipp, at least she could have brushed her teeth through all of her unstable mind's deviation from reality. You know, I love that I never have to deal with the weird, boldy travel toothbrushes anymore, and it's so easy to travel with my mouth, Toto. It gives you peace of mind while you take the road. Cormick McCarthy style with a bunch of munchkins, slamming lollies, and sucking back bruskeys. That's why I love Kipp.
Starting point is 00:37:27 and why over one million happy, healthy mouths do as well. Quip starts to just 25 bucks, and if you go to getquip.com slash page 7 right now, you can get your first refill pack for free. That's your first refill back for free at G-E-T-Q-U-I-P dot com slash page 7. Yeah, I mean, last year I had a great time watching teen mom, and I realized why don't I watch this format of reality show more often, couples fighting.
Starting point is 00:37:52 Yeah, oh, yeah, 90-day fiancé, it's a lot of couples fighting. It's, it is fiancée's fighting with family members, fiancée's fighting with friends. And then the best part is like the friends who are obviously like extremely close friends with the person who's brought someone else over who absolutely refused to be in the show and then finally shows up at the end at the wedding
Starting point is 00:38:16 because they have no fucking choice. Oh, I can't wait to watch this season. Man, I'm going to do that this week. It's going to be great. On such a different trip than you guys, I followed Candice Cameron Bray, Jody Sweeten, and Andrea Barber, aka Kimmy Gibbler, on Instagram. And I just want to just report briefly that Candice Cameron Bray's Instagram
Starting point is 00:38:37 exclusively scripture. So you guys have been having a little bit more of a sexy romp than I have. I'm learning a lot about scripture. Yeah, I heard a Brazilian woman who's like, Kalti has a big penis. He's so big. He like a use of my body. You never give me the compliment of Cote.
Starting point is 00:39:03 He's just this poor man. I tell you you're beautiful all the time. I always tell you you're beautiful. But not the kind of that I like. And meanwhile, like his two friends are standing right next to him. They're about to go to a dinner. But this dinner is at the same place. The two weeks earlier, Colt had told the waitress
Starting point is 00:39:22 that he liked her glasses. Oh, you're going to look at the waitress again? Is that a way we got here again? That's what you want from 90-day fiancé. I imagine you talk like this to Carolina all the time. All the time. It drives her fucking nuts because it's so loud. That's fucking great, man.
Starting point is 00:39:42 And Carolina is the time for us to go to the store. It's a rain. It's like, and you just not. But you have to do it. at that volume to really get her essence. Oh, yeah, to really get her awful, obnoxious essence. Terrible, terrible, terrible woman. Meanwhile, Candace Cameron Bray,
Starting point is 00:40:02 just pointing her phone at the pages of the Bible and scanning over the text so that those following her Instagram stories can just read Bible passages on the page. Does she read it out loud? I, you know, a lot of times I'm watching Instagram stories in bed and I don't have the sound on, so I can't confirm. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:40:21 I mean, if we're going to, we're talking about the, the opposite of that. I didn't mean to talk so much about reality TV right now, but that's what's happening. It's the beginning of the year. The shows aren't back on yet. We got to fill the time somehow. Can we throw out a Lindsay Lowhan's Beach Club? Ooh. That I'll watch.
Starting point is 00:40:40 It started yesterday. And you can watch the episodes online for free. You don't need cable. And can we just say, butts, butts, butts. Oh no. I got to keep on greasing my ass Because I feel like I don't grease my ass enough Especially while watching the show
Starting point is 00:40:59 It all does is make me want to put Like mucus on it What is it? What do you put on your ass to make it glow? Baby oil? I guess, yeah, baby oil. You don't put mucus on your ass Where you can get all that mucus from? Just a bucket of mucus.
Starting point is 00:41:15 You're just fucking buying mucus off of the internet? Save it. Save all you are. Yeah, I'm sure. I mean, you gotta, there's got to be some sort of mucus store. Does I mean, because mucus coats the inside of your nose and, and your, your lungs. So why shouldn't it be on your ass? Are you trying to say, because we've all, I feel like, had the problem where we've put lotion on and then had to put pants on.
Starting point is 00:41:40 And it's a really unpleasant problem. So you're trying to have your ass oiled and no pants on or you're trying to, like. No pants. I'm talking no pants. There's so many butts in mecon. And that's really what I took from the show. Outside of the fact that, like, Lindsay Lohan, dude, this, she's her whole thing, it was actually weirdly, like, intense and sad because she's like, I got away from America because in Dubai it's illegal to take pictures of someone without their knowledge. And that's why I went there.
Starting point is 00:42:10 I wanted to get rid of my whole past. And I'm starting over again. And she thinks that, like, she hired on all of these people that she shipped in from America to be. So it's essentially Vanderpump rule. but in Mekanos, but she wants it to be a, like, business. And she's like, they're not just going to be drinking and having a good time. They're here to work. Then that sounds horribly boring.
Starting point is 00:42:35 I would be, I feel like I'm actually, like, kind of compelled and sympathetic by the idea of moving to a country where somebody can't take your picture without your consent because that's, like, been ruining her life forever. But is she not starting a reality show where the cameras are pointed at her? That's the thing. And also a bunch of hot people that all went out there to fuck. And so, of course, like she walks in, she, like, drops in to meet all of them in the house that they're all staying at. And they're all hammered and they're eating a bunch of food.
Starting point is 00:43:06 And she's like, that's not how you need a boss. But she just showed up at their fuck palace where they apply them with a bunch of booze. What do you think all these hot people are going to do? They're going to fuck each other in the pool. Man. It's got good butts. I'm glad that, you know, some things never change. If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
Starting point is 00:43:24 People, put the people in a house and give them a pool and they will fuck. Yeah. Yeah. And then she was trying to, like, she just kept trying to bring it back, like, with her, like, confessionals of just, like, talking about how hard her life was and how much she fucked up for really long time. And then juxtaposing, like, like, juxtapose with just, like, them just like, breasts, rubbing on breasts, and they're all oiled up.
Starting point is 00:43:49 They're just like, yeah, the party. It's very, I mean, weirdly intrigued. Gonna probably keep watching it, at least for a while. My hottest take is that I find Lindsay Lohan's voice to be kind of sexy. Yeah, I found most things about Lindsay Lohan to be sexy. Okay, I thought that we were supposed to all hate her voice because she was such a party girl, but I like it. Yeah. She's been partying.
Starting point is 00:44:16 Yeah. I love it. Yeah, she's incredibly. sexy woman. Okay. Oh yeah. And she stopped doing the like random accents. That's good. That's great. So now it's just a regular. I'm glad someone sat her down and talked to her about that and said you need to stop. Yeah. But I also found it interesting. I was watching some interview with her. She's only auditioned for something twice and the rest of everything else she ever did was just given to her. And she's just like, I can't imagine auditioning all the time. I don't think that I could do that.
Starting point is 00:44:49 I just was given my roles and that was hard enough. And I was just like, damn, girl, that's insane. It's also good for you. That was really good. That was a good, Lindsay. Do it some more. Yeah, yeah, should I keep talking about it? Because I feel like, I feel like it's a little.
Starting point is 00:45:09 It's a little Mariah. It's a little Mariah, but her voice is a lot deeper than you think is. It's very weird. She's very reserved in how. she speaks. In fact, watching it, I was like, I need to speak softer. I know you guys have to hear me do this, like, once a year where I'm like, maybe I should start talking softer. I never will. Going on eight, nine years now I've been hearing this. Maybe I should talk softer. But wait, speaking of funny accents and changing them, did you guys see that clip from the
Starting point is 00:45:39 Bachelorette of that woman who's like, hello, so nice to meet you? And the guy's like, oh, is that an Australian accent? She's like, yeah. Oh, I, you know, I know it kind of different, but that's who I am. And he's like, oh, nice to meet you. That's kind of fun. I like accents. And she's like, all right, cheerio or whatever. And then she leaves.
Starting point is 00:45:58 And then the, like, testimonial with her is her being like, I'm not Australian. But you need to do something to set yourself apart. This bitch, she rules. Wait, is that the one with the Virgin? It's just, I saw this clip going around online. I don't know the, which I assume it's episode one. But I don't know. She is, I believe, wearing a red dress.
Starting point is 00:46:25 But also, a fake Australian accent is, that's difficult. Honestly, Molly, I feel that your Australian accent was very good. Thank you. I'm not. Because I'm mine is a pet. Whale? Shrimp. Ooh, a bobby.
Starting point is 00:46:40 It's the syllable, as I understand, hello. Like, I can't really do it, but there's like a weird, there's like an extra syllable to like, E. Ew. Yeah. Lail. Yeah. love it. I mean, it's so fucking sexy.
Starting point is 00:46:52 All, any gender, any, I mean, Australian, you know, like the New Zealand accent, the, can you call it a brogue, or is that just Irish? I think that's just Irish. Scottish. There, over there. Over there. Can you sing that song anymore? This is the same, it's the same bachelor
Starting point is 00:47:09 that everyone's losing their mind because he's a virgin, and so a lot of them also played a lot of, like, like, camp, I think, like, one of them, like, gave him a bunch of, like, eggplants and stuff like that. They were essentially just ragging on him for being a virgin. And like that's his get. That's how he got the show. He's a virgin.
Starting point is 00:47:26 Oh, yeah, I guess it's a bachelor, not a bachelorette. When there's only one boy, he's the bachelor, right? The premiere last night was three hours long. Whoa. Set aside, your night. Clear your agenda. Yeah, the virgin's name is Colton Underwood. Colty.
Starting point is 00:47:45 Oh, another Colty. Colty, Colty. Colty, Colty. Kind of God. And another great thing about her is that she's Brazilian. So she speaks Portuguese. And so everything is phonetic in Portuguese. Like there's no weird like spelling.
Starting point is 00:48:02 So she learned, you could tell she learned English by reading. So she pronounces every single word phonetically. It's fantastic. I admire that. Ooh. English doesn't make any sense. No.
Starting point is 00:48:14 No, it doesn't. I love, Portuguese is such a beautiful language too. Govah. I wish you'd speak it sometimes. Oh, you'd love it. Oh, God. Well, see, I never got into The Bachelor because I feel like it's another one of those
Starting point is 00:48:25 where it's like, that's a time commitment. And it's not that I'm against it because any time I watch it like, with my girls, if they're all like we're drinking our tini's and watching a Bachelor, it's always fun. I always dig it. It's a good format. I just never sat and chose to watch it.
Starting point is 00:48:38 Same. Whenever I see it, I'm like, yeah, who are you going to pick? But then I don't sit down and commit to the three hours. Mm-hmm. And not to, you know, steer away from our reality talk conversation, but I got to say, new dilf on the scene and not what you expect. Are you giving us a blind at him? There's a new delf on the scene, and it's not what you'd expect. Jackie, tell us more.
Starting point is 00:49:04 Oh, God. Do I work for TMZ now? Oh, if we're doing TMZ voice, like, we got a new delph on the scene, and it's not what you'd expect. Well, for more, we got Jackie's basket. And then we just yell at you, you're like across the cubicle for some reason. Jackie! Jackie!
Starting point is 00:49:20 Oh, do I've got hot goss. Well, on Instagram the other day, John Travolta showed off his bold new look, which is not a new look. It's just an old look because I don't think he's using his hair implants anymore. He's going bald. He's owning being bald. And I'm throwing it out there. He looks great.
Starting point is 00:49:41 He looks great. He looks better than he's ever looked. I think he looks fantastic. Good for him. Good for him. I saw the picture and I was like, is that Chandra? Is that Chantra? And you know that we've always loved a jantra,
Starting point is 00:49:55 but I've never wanted to stup a Chantra. Not even close. I mean, you know, Saturday Night Fever. I mean, you know, the dancing and the butt. I fuck that guy. But Jontra Volta and his little, because like on his Instagram, he posted a picture of him in a tuxedo with his daughter,
Starting point is 00:50:11 who is gorgeous, by the way. And he is, Yeah, he's going for the bald look, and he looks great. I think that most guys look great when they shave their head. I know this is not an opinion you want to hear markers, but I do think most guys look great when they do it. I've been having a... The conversation is getting more serious at home.
Starting point is 00:50:28 Really? Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. The shaved head conversation is definitely getting more serious. She's asking me to hold on for a little while longer. I just think that when you get there, I think that you should feel proud in your ability to rock it. I'll see. Oh, my God, I'm going to get you baby bonnets.
Starting point is 00:50:43 And I'm going to get you those... You know the little headbands with the little bows on it? I think you'd look really cute. She works hard for the money. So hard for the money. She works hard for the money so you better treat all right. Franisand's 2019 is a lifestyle, but dang, Fran Drescher had to put lots of time into looking that good.
Starting point is 00:51:09 Let's be real. For most of us, a 20-step full face of makeup every day, just ain't going to happen. Makeup should give you a maximum impact with the minimum effort, and I just discovered a beauty brand that finally got set. Wonder Beauty! When you ain't using good products and want to slap your face on real fast, sometimes you leave the house looking like a low-level intergalactic hooker.
Starting point is 00:51:32 Actually, that's usually what I'm going for, but I understand why not everyone wants it. Wonder Beauty is a line of multitasking beauty essentials that are easy to use and travel-friendly, so you can get ready in five minutes. and stay gorgeous on the go. It was founded by a working mom of two and a supermodel, two women who are always on the move
Starting point is 00:51:50 and know how to make the most out of their precious time. And scream. I bet they both know how to scream it and mean it, girl. Wonder Beauty completely streamlines your beauty routine with fewer products that work better. I ain't got the back power to schlep around a million different products. I'm just as weak in the arms as I am weak in the knees when I see a perfectly boobilicious tiny vest.
Starting point is 00:52:13 I need more tiny vests. And that means being more thoughtful about the stuff you do use. Wander Beauty is clean, cruelty-free, and made with ingredients your skin will love. Wonder Beauty's on the globe blush and highlighter is to die. And it's tiny. And I need a brush to apply it. Uh-oh, Arwin's calling, and she's peeved because I got a bright cheek sheen that says, Hey, I probably wouldn't mind getting jiggy with it in that crystal.
Starting point is 00:52:43 Clear River over yonder. Wonder Beauty has already won a ton of awards, including Allure's Best of Beauty Award and as fans everywhere. You've probably seen Heidi Klum using their baggage claim gold eye masks on Instagram. Also, mausel on the engagement, Heidi. Good for you, girl, you get it, Mama. Anyone can benefit from these multitaskers, not just beauty junkies. Those dang beauty junkies you find with browliners sticking out of their arms
Starting point is 00:53:09 and the gutters asking you for spare wipes. Wander Beauty's foolproof beauty, whenever, wherever. It's time to make over your morning with Wander Beauty. Get 20% off your purchase at Wanderbeauton.com slash page 7. That's Wanderbeautom slash page 7 for 20% off Wanderbeautercom slash page 7. Just so long as you can help pay for the surgery to pin my ears back. Oh, no, don't do that. They're going to flap quite a bit once that head goes bald.
Starting point is 00:53:43 I understand. I had short hair for a long time. I also have big, sticky out ears. And I wasn't aware of it until I was like, until I think Henry was making fun of my tiny head at one time, which, yes, I have a very small head. But also it makes my ears look really big. Same here. Tiny head. I've got tiny elf ears, and I didn't know until I had a baby who also has tiny elf ears. And everyone said she looked like an elf and she looked like me. And then I realized that they were saying that I look like an elf. Yeah. Everyone I say this to is like, uh-huh. And? Yeah. So you didn't. Didn't?
Starting point is 00:54:21 No. Had not been called an elf my entire life until I had this child. And everyone indirectly called me an elf for several months. Didn't necessarily call you that, but seems like, hmm. I had been called Sprightly before. Sprightly, yes. I can see Sprightly. Elf synonym.
Starting point is 00:54:39 So I guess I shouldn't be that surprised But my tiny, pointy elf ears are now But like a cool elf You're not like a Santa's elf Not like the elves from Santa Claus 1 No No, no no no The ELFS
Starting point is 00:54:56 They, I think that you're more of a Not Jennifer Connolly The Big Mouth Beautiful Liv Tyler Oh I thought you were gonna say Julia Roberts says when she's Tinkerbell and Hook not that pretty you know what
Starting point is 00:55:12 I could kind of see it she got short hair yeah yeah yeah I forget about I forgot Julia Roberts was tinkerbell in that Liv Tyler Is she elf like Yeah well she played an elf The Lord of the Rings
Starting point is 00:55:23 Oh duh Yeah She's famous elf Yeah Her first big role Yeah I guess those elves are hot Lord of the Rings made elves hot again Yeah
Starting point is 00:55:31 For sure I would have loved to fuck in that Elvin kingdom You imagine how nice those beds are When Vigo Mortensen wakes up in the bed And I'm just like, man, I want to fucking sleep there I want to bang you on that bed Let's bring in Legales, let's have a time about it I'd like to bang in Rivendale
Starting point is 00:55:48 Right? Yeah, it would be fun Oh my God, I didn't realize it was so close To the word Riverdale Going back in what? A week? Two weeks? I think.
Starting point is 00:55:58 Next week I can't wait any longer. Yeah, next week. It is a completely, we don't have to talk about it because it's very serious but our friend Archie is a character in the movie The Hate You Give with Amanda La Sternberg and she's fucking incredible in that movie the movie I thought was really, really beautiful
Starting point is 00:56:17 and Archie is there and he's a doofus I'm starting to think that KJ Appa is unable to play anybody but doofuses. Typecast is a doofus. I think he might actually, I think it might not be that Archie's a doofus but that KJ. Apa is a dufus. That's kind of my takeaway after watching this film.
Starting point is 00:56:35 He did great. It was perfect for the role, but he is a little bit of a dupus. I am, I hate to say this, kind of excited to see five feet apart, like Nicole Spouse movie. He's sick, she's sick. They can't touch, but they fall in love. So it's Boy in the Bubble? It's Boy in the Bubble, but they're both sick. No, it's Boy in the Bubble meets that other Y-A book.
Starting point is 00:56:59 The Stars, What the Hell is It? Stars, I, I, they fall in. Shailene Woodley Starz. Stars! Shaline! Shaline! Stars! The fault of our stars! The Baltimore stars! Stars! Because that's also a teen love story about two people who are sick.
Starting point is 00:57:26 I mean, I am a sucker for that stuff. It still goes... You know, it's like, I saw that the notebook is coming out with the musical and all the music is being written by Ingrid Michelson and I love Ingrid Michaelson. I love the notebook and it's just like 15 year old me's heart is singing and I want to sing along with the music.
Starting point is 00:57:45 So what I'm saying is I'm going to go see five feet apart and I'm going to go eat a bunch of fucking edibles and I'm going to go see it alone. And I'm going to cry and I'm going to enjoy it. All right, start for the list. Who's on the list? Marcus, got to have that list. I guess this list is just a list.
Starting point is 00:58:02 inspired by that old golden globes win the other night. I had so many things I wanted to talk about with the golden gloves. Yeah. I just want to shout out to Billy Porter's outfit. If you did not see Billy Porter's outfit, Billy Porter won the red carpet. He's from Pose, and he looked fucking awesome. He was wearing a suit and a cape.
Starting point is 00:58:21 Oh, yeah, the pink cape. The pink-lined cape. Dude, so good. Cap's pretty sweet. The list is movies with biopics. movies about real people. This year, just in general.
Starting point is 00:58:36 Just in general. Just all in there because, you know, Bohemian Rhapsody one. Uh-huh. Which I wouldn't saw Bohemian Rhapsody, actually. How was it? It's good.
Starting point is 00:58:43 I thought, I really enjoyed watching it and then I did read a really, really good critique of, um, like how they dealt with Freddie Mercury and AIDS and being gay that was like, basically it made it look like all of the,
Starting point is 00:58:55 like, that his straight family saved him and all of the bad things in his life happened because it was a, very, very good critique. Like, that I did not see at the time watching it, but then I thought was a good. And like, also, like, I guess they kind of rearranged some of the facts, obviously, in a biopic to make it look more dramatic. But I did enjoy it while I was watching it.
Starting point is 00:59:14 And I thought the critiques about how they dealt with AIDS and sexuality were good, but I also just think that Remy Malik is so cute and I love him so much. And I thought he did a great job. He was pretty adorable in the movie. Yeah. And the songs were actually, they actually did fucking great jobs with all the concerts and the songs and him performing and all that. It was very enjoyable to watch.
Starting point is 00:59:34 Yeah, that's how don't stop me now. I got stuck about it. It's been there since Christmas. It's, it is so, like, you, like, I watched it, and then I was just like, I just got to listen to Queen for weeks, which is a nice feeling. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I got to listen to a lot of Queen. It was really fun. It's a nice movie, and it's a little inspiring as well. Also, just to throw it out there, if you guys have not seen the favorite yet, go see the fucking favorite.
Starting point is 00:59:57 Want to go see the favorite. Really, it's real. I mean, the woman, I think. that she won, the woman that played Queen Anne, won the Golden Globes, and she fucking deserved it. It's not everybody's cup of tea, and I get it. I went to go see it with Mumsy and Pupsie, and that was a perfect...
Starting point is 01:00:13 I don't know if I... Have I said this aloud that I started calling Henry and Adley Mumsey and Pupsie? It was a perfect Mumsy and Pupsie movie, and, you know, to have a good discussion afterwards. But it was so funny because we were watching it, and there was a middle-aged couple in front of us with their teenage son must have been 14 or 15,
Starting point is 01:00:34 and you could see how uncomfortable. This poor kid was the entire movie. It is not a movie to see with your family. If you are like my family where you can't watch a sex scene or like any kind of kissing or anything like that. And he was just openly, he kept going to the bathroom, and they were like, sit, sit. And he's like, I'm just going to.
Starting point is 01:00:55 Oh. To watch this. two and a half hour long, like, movie about a bunch of, like, amazing character-driven women, but also, it's not for a lot of 14-year-olds in general. Yeah, I understand. Oh, I get to see a new movie, like a big, I guess a movie that's getting a lot of buzz. A couple nights ago, I went and saw a destroyer. Ooh, how was it?
Starting point is 01:01:20 It's good. It's fine. There should have been more, I was expecting a lot more destroying. Yay. There was, like, a medium amount of destroying. There was like a medium amount of destroying. Like there was some destroying, but and people are saying it's like, Nicole Kidman is unrecognizable.
Starting point is 01:01:36 It's transformative. I'm like, what are you fucking talking about? Every time she was on the screen, the only thing I could think is, there's Nicole Kidman. And they have her play both like, you know, the older woman and like a younger version of herself. And the younger version of herself just kind of looks like a 25-year-old but got a bunch of plastic surgery. And her acting is pretty good.
Starting point is 01:01:56 But I would say the most impressive is like, She looks mean. And that's kind of the extent of it. She got a real good mean. She got a real good stink face going on. Real good mean face going on. Thinking about Nicole Kimman though, just made me really excited for Big Little Lies season two.
Starting point is 01:02:11 Big Little Lys Season 2. But yeah, Destroyer, could have used more destroying. Although there was a light to medium destroying. And the destroying that was there was good. Don't get me wrong. Good destroying. Really good destroying when the destroying happened. All right.
Starting point is 01:02:26 But I expected I wanted more destroying. I could have used more destroying. Okay. It's a cop show, right? It's a cop thing? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. It's a cop movie, but also it's about, it's a cop movie about the choices that we make.
Starting point is 01:02:40 Ooh. I mean, I'm definitely going to see it. Yeah, you should watch it. I think you'll really like it. Hell yeah. I got to keep on moving. Oh, yeah, the list. Who's on that list?
Starting point is 01:02:52 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Capote was one. Remember when Michelle Williams played Marilyn Monroe and My Week with Marilyn? Do you guys ever see that? My Week with Marilyn. You know I never did, but I do love her. I like a biopic. I like a good biopic.
Starting point is 01:03:06 Yeah, I dig. What was that one about the sex guy? Kinsey. What was it called? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I saw that. You know, that was a good one? Yeah, that was a pretty good one. It Tonya was great.
Starting point is 01:03:19 It was great. It was fantastic. That was a really good movie. Weird thing about this list is that it gives a shout out to Reese Witherspoon for walk the line, but not Joaquin Phoenix. Interesting. Wait, we're back on with Joaquin Phoenix, though, right? I guess.
Starting point is 01:03:37 Were we ever off? I think we were off for a little bit, because I think he went a little crazy, but I think we're back on with Joaquin Phoenix. Yeah, you went a little wacky with that when you went on a Letterman, right? And I think it wasn't just a fun crazy. I think it may have been like an uncomfortable. I think it's a true crazy. It was like an uncomfortable. It wasn't like a dangerous crazy. I don't think anyone got hurt. I don't think so either, but I remember feeling like we shouldn't be watching this. Yeah, yeah, one of those sorts of crazies. But now he came back. He's going to play the Joker. Everything's fine. Oh, he's going to play the Joker. How do you feel about that, Marcus,
Starting point is 01:04:07 as a comic bookist? D.C. Comics have been fucking up their movie. They're never going to get a movie right, so I don't care. Oh, okay. Fair. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They've lost all my faith. They've lost all of it. So yeah, DC Comics, they're going to, ever since Superman, Batman, I'm like, ah, they're never going to get it right. So who gives a shit what they do? Mm, all right. I mean, I think that I will watch, I just like the Joker. Yeah. In general.
Starting point is 01:04:29 I love the Joker. I dig. Yeah, I love the Joker. You know, I don't know anything about the comic books. Yeah. About those comic books. But I like, I like it because I like his destruction. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:04:37 If you're talking about destroying. Talk about destroyers. There's a man that'll destroy some things. All right. All right, it's time for buying out of. Oh, you can't see it. This former A to A minus list actress, Alla, you know, who's been in the business since before she could talk, but doesn't really act any longer, is being cheated on by her husband, which nobody saw coming.
Starting point is 01:05:05 Cheated on by her husband before that she was even born. She's an Olson twin. Is it Mary Kate? That old man is cheating on her. Oh, how? Yes, Jesus Christ. His daughter is like her age, too, and they just like hang out and everything's mine. And she's like, new mommy.
Starting point is 01:05:25 New mommy, new BFF. Mm-hmm. Yep, that's Sarko. Not the old old man. It's Sarkozy. It's the Sarkozy that's cheating on Mary Kate. Because isn't Ashley married to like a really, like, disgusting Russian? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:05:40 Skarskarsky. Skarskarsky. But both of, well, I don't know. I just remember that one is married to one that's like at least 20 years older. Yeah, that's a, well, Oliver Sarkozy is 17 years older than Mary Kate. But looks a lot older. But I think Ashley is still single. Interesting.
Starting point is 01:05:58 Well, because she was with that really, really old guy. Yeah. And then they broke up. Oh, good. But I will say, I got a perfume from Sephora because I got a gift for Christmas. Fancy Girl. And I found out Elizabeth and James is the Ashley and Mary Kate Olson's perfume company. They make a great perfume.
Starting point is 01:06:21 They make a good pair of pants. Somebody who had money bought me for my birthday once, a pair of pants on their... Is it good for high butts? Um, I don't know how to answer that, because I don't know... I've sworn off pants. I've given up on pants. I don't do pants anymore. Yeah, you live it out there in L.A., you don't got to worry about pants no more.
Starting point is 01:06:43 I don't need pants. I don't wear pants. I got to, you know, especially, you know, franasance doesn't need pants unless they're big wide pants, but at the same time, my ass is just going to stick out. So I got to make my own, you know, I got to keep on moving. And ain't nobody going to break my stride. So it doesn't, you know, I'm anti-pants now.
Starting point is 01:06:59 You're wearing skirts and dresses. Yeah, because I don't want my butt to show anymore. Yeah. I'm done. No butts, 2019, except all butts. I'm going to be mucousin it up, but nobody's going to see my crack anymore. No butts all butts. I like that.
Starting point is 01:07:15 No butts all butts. Yeah, 2019. And that's where we're going to end today's episode. All right, no butts all butts. Thank you guys so much for listening this week. This was, I mean, we went down a reality show hole and I loved it. And now I am inspired to watch 90-day fiancé so that I can yell at my television again. And, you know, check out Masked Singer.
Starting point is 01:07:41 Let's see how weird this show's going to get. I really, I'd like to at some point find out how they choose the songs. And if these people who are inside of the masks choose the songs themselves. and um go watch jump in my car oh yeah watch jump in my car it'll you will not regret it if you like what you hear and if you want to watch listen to mollie and i watch pretty little liars every week even though it is the world's most frustrating show i'm so angry check out our patreon page at patreon.com slash page seven podcast we got some fun stuff on there we're going to keep creating more content on there so have a look have a listen Have a smile.
Starting point is 01:08:23 Frayn't it's on 2019. You can follow me to Instagram at Jack That Worm. Love you guys and thank you, Molly and Marcus. This has been, you know what? This has been fucking delightful. This has been a no-butts romp. I'm gonna say a hoot.
Starting point is 01:08:36 Let's slap a hoot on there. Ain't nobody gonna break our stride. Oh no. We got to keep on moving. They call me Mr. Fahrenheit. Thank you guys again for listening to this week's episode. It's time. Nnamam bum bum bum bum bum.
Starting point is 01:08:59 Oh, bum bum bum, bum. Yeah, that's how I do a drum roll. It's time for the Patreon shoutouts. Thank you guys so much for being patrons of page 7. I really appreciate it and I love you guys so much. And let's kick this a pig. Jesus Christ, what's wrong with me? Elizabeth Johnson, Jessica Wilson, Emily Gunther, Michelle Budge, Lottie Dozen, Rosalind Tiger Good name, girl
Starting point is 01:09:28 Samantha Mason, Emily Butler, Jacqueline Brock That's my name! James Harris, Randy Chatfield, Deuess Shellcross Rachel Lupinace Lupinej Ooh, a little bit of Italian
Starting point is 01:09:45 Tony Watt Elise Swenson Megan Roach Nicole Sanderson Like the Sanderson's ancestors Gina Hart Danny Austin Tulson
Starting point is 01:09:59 Serena Slash Y'all got some fucking killer names in this batch I just want to say Gronia Kim Hames Jenniferink Amy
Starting point is 01:10:12 Megan Brown Jen Davis Kathleen Shepano Haley G. Hillman Kristen Ruby Wilkinning Stephanie Hutchinson Alicia O'Rall Mandey
Starting point is 01:10:26 Abigail Bryant Sarah Del Vichel T. Taylor Guge. Rachie K. Stephanie Diamond. Diana Bell. Sarah Cutler. Haley Hagen.
Starting point is 01:10:40 Torrey Stanford. Hazel Toller. Kayla. Lydia E. Dyer. Kelly Killinger. Clanger. Clanger. Kelly Clinger.
Starting point is 01:10:53 Emily Cheney. Meg McGloughlin. Autumn Storm. Also, Congrats. I'm slapping a mausel on it. We're getting double mazzle in this episode. Rebecca Abbey.
Starting point is 01:11:06 Grace Myers. Carmel Hubbard. Kate Stimick. Lindsay Dapp. Kevin Egan. Haley Glaze. Molly Fanny. Craig Smith.
Starting point is 01:11:18 Kaylin Scenthouse. Kate. Shannon Weaver and Alexandra Klaus. Thank you guys so much for donating to our Patreon. I really, really appreciate it. We're going to have some fun movies coming at you. I got a new, interesting project.
Starting point is 01:11:37 Let's just say it has to do with true blood. You know what? Never watched it, and I think it's time. Because I hear tale of Species, spicy, and when there is a space, I'm slapping. A spicy on it. Thank you guys so much. I really fucking appreciate it. We all do here at Last Podcast Network. Keep on listening to Page 7. Please listen to the other shows on the network. There's some great stuff out there. I love all my everybody.
Starting point is 01:12:10 I'm not going to cry. You're going to cry. You're going to cry. I love you guys. I'll talk to you next week. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors. You can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.