Page 7 - Episode 286: Arrr You a Redneck?

Episode Date: January 17, 2019

Jackie, Molly and Marcus goss about "The Americans", the Kid Rock cruise and Mariah Carey getting black mailed. Go to http://phlur.com today and use promo code PAGE7 to get 20% off your custom Phlur sample set! Get an extra 25% off when you keep all 5 items in your box at http://stitchfix.com/page7 Go to http://thirdlove.com/page7 now to find your perfect-fitting bra Check out our oogies and augies over on our Patreon page! https://www.patreon.com/page7podcast Carefree, Local Forcast, Rainbows, Too Coo Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Hey kids, it's Danny Tamburelli, also known as Little Pete from The Adventures of Pete and Pete. And this is Michael C. Marona, aka Big Pete from the same show. And my name is Jeremy. I produced this podcast, The Adventures of Danny and Mike on The Last Podcast Network. Hey, J.B., can you tell them what it's all about? The Adventures of Danny and Mike is a weekly podcast with equal parts of nostalgia, comedy, and surprises. That's right. So check us out on the last podcast network. The Last Podcast Network.

God bless Mother Nature. And she's a single woman, too. She took off to heaven, and she rearranged the sky so that each and every woman could have the perfect guy. It's raining men, yeah. I have been singing that to myself for days because it's been raining. It's been raining in L.A. for days. Oh, God, you and Henry both are bitching about this rain thing. It is, it's terrible outside.

Let me ask you this, is it warm rain or is it cold rain? It's cold rain. How cold? It's like in the 50s and 60s. It's cold outside, but I will say that yesterday I lost power for about seven or eight hours because of the rain, because L.A. just can't handle it. And so I just kept sitting on my porch singing, uh, welcome to the hotel. California. And I really pissed off my roommates. Apparently they're not Eagles fans. How did you entertain yourself for seven hours without power? Especially, the thing is that

they are very, they are two very prepared individuals. So it was fine inside of the house. Except I was like, that's great. My computer is charged. I can get work done. But there's no wireless. When there's no... As a hotspot. You gotta go a hotspot. Yeah, I got to go a hotspot. So I had to schlep everything in the fucking rain. What am I? Some kind of Esk I don't go the time for this shit. This is why the rest of the country hates California. Yeah. All the rest of us are going through just like fucking horrible, brutal winter just out in it,

having to put on a fucking coat just to go get the mail. Then you're like, it's chilly. I have a little coffee shop to do my work. I didn't go to a coffee shop to do my work for like five hours. Oh, my God. I found myself when I first moved to L.A. not understanding how people could live like this. But I actually, like, walking to the gym this morning,

I was just going, and now I get it. We are all prince and princesses. And we like her things. We like her things. I'm going to move. When I can leave it all behind, I'm going to move to Florida and become one of those people who lives in Florida

who talks about their past life. I can't wait. If you go to, like, Key West, everyone there is like, everyone who, like, runs a boat, like, by day and is like, oh, I had a past life as a accountant. I can't wait to be somebody with a past life in Key West. What are you going to, what do you... See, we've been talking about this a lot lately.

What are you going to name your boat? Because if you moved to Florida and you're going to have a past life, you have to get a boat and you have to name it something. I do have to name it something. Damn, that's... I'm going to have to think about that. See, I was thinking that my job, because I do get seasickness is the problem with me going to Key West and being a boat person.

So I think I might become like a fun, like gravely voiced bartender that everybody confides in. I'm going to name my boat Gunts Promise. Because I promise to all the guns out there that I'm going to have a past life and I'm going to have a boat. Ooh, I like Gunts Promise I came up with, I want my, no one likes this name but I wanted to be called I can't but I can not K-N-O-T. Come on guys

Come on, does it make sense? Isn't that a boat term? Notts? Notts, portals. I will say I've been referring to my squirty bird as a porthole for a bit of time. Because you can look in, but you can't get out. I can't believe that you didn't go for something.

Maybe it's just too low-hanging fruit, but I would have maybe gone for like the poop deck or something. You know, just name the whole boat after a fun part of the boat. I mean, you know how I feel about fart jokes. Oh, that's right. That's right. I can't really go down that hole. It would be fun to just name a boat fart.

Fart the boat. I need my bar. Fart the bar. fart the bar and it's going to be on the water it's going to be one of those bars in Key West that's like a water like you sit at it

and you're like looking out at the water and you guys can park your boats outside my bar fart the bar and I just when everybody comes back from their boats they come into me

and they get their drinks and I'm like I sound like Mariah Carey by this time nice yeah damn straight you do I there was this really pononk place I think it's called

Whitey's Fish Camp in Jacksonville and we would go to Whitey's Fish Camp because it was a dockside bar that you could pull your boat up to. There is nothing quite like the dudes that get off of their boat and roll into a bar to drink like 50 cent Yeager shots.

I thought I was going to go back to Jacksonville to find my husband because definitely I think that's what I need in my life to die by the age of 45. Yeah. Yeah, the genre of dive bar on the water is a very special kind of died. Oh, Jackie, I could totally see you dying

in a tragic boat accident. I think that I'm on board. What's the celebrity that died? It was like, oh, she never would. Yes, I'm going to be just like her. And we never saw her ever again. And my life will also be like sleeping with the enemy. And I'll be just like Julia Roberts,

except I won't flush the ring down the toilet because that was really dumb. Because he went after and found her and that brown-eyed girl, ooh, she got cocked. Did you ever watch? I only watched the first episode, so I can't really even make a reference about it. But Coach from Friday Night Lights,

he was in a show about Key West called... Oh, oh. Bloodline. Bloodlines. I thought you were going to talk about coach. Yeah, which I'm totally on board for. Because I want to sleep with Coach. Talk about a daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy.

There's only one coach to me. Taylor. Coach Taylor. Wait, you only seen one episode? Yeah, I don't know why. I don't know what's wrong with me. I love every piece of programming that's ever been made about South Florida because I love Key West and the key and like I love the whole aesthetic. And so I watched Bloodline and he was there and it had like it was the same format as like a succession and like like a family of four adult kids who are all dysfunctional and the oldest brother is like the outst of the casts.

And then like everyone else is trying to like keep the family together and it had everything I wanted. but I didn't keep watching it. It's really great. The first season is great. The second season kind of falls off of it. But I will say that that is a show that encapsulates what Florida is to a tea. Just like drinking beers, hearing the slight like waves and just like the clink, clank, clank, clag, clang, of the boats. And also murder and sabotage.

Yeah. Oh, my God. What's wrong with me? I need to watch it. That sounds like everything I want. Oh, speaking of murder and sabotage, I've been watching a new show that's nothing but murder, sabotage, and sex. That's all I want. What, what, what is it?

The Americans. I started watching The Americans like two months ago. It's fucking great, right? It's fucking awesome. Oh, it's so good. Jackie, you would love it so much. Is that the one with Carrie Russell in it? I'm on season two.

I'm on season two, too. Yeah, yeah, Carrie Russell, yeah. Carrie Russell and Matthew Reeze, who is weirdly sexy. You don't think he's going to be sexy, and then he sneaks up on you. Oh, there's so much sex. There's a sexy red. Oh, there's so much sex. It's just nothing but fucking and killing.

It's so sexy. Why didn't you immediately text me about these things? If there's sex in it, I want to watch it. And Kerry Russell is hot. Yeah, she's hot, hot, hot, hot. Very hot. Yeah, and then there's hot Russians. They're always fucking people because they're spies.

Do you know the premise of this show? I know that there's spies and that's about it, but they fuck Russians. There are two Russian spies in America in 1982. And they're a part of a program in which they've been trained to be Americans. Like they're not allowed to speak in Russian accents. They're not allowed to speak Russian. They had no Russian accent at all. But they're both KGB agents that grew up in Russia.

And it's them like trying to be married and they got two kids. And they're also trying to be spies. And there's all kinds of shit that goes on. A lot of pressure. And then there's the other main plot line is like the FBI agent that lives across the street from them. Who was also the guy from the Truman Show. Yes, also the best friend from the Truman Show, yeah.

Ooh, wait, are they actually in love with each other, or are they forced together because they're spies? Well, that's a great question. I mean, that is a big conflict to the show. That is explored thoroughly, at least in season one and season two, and I can't imagine it goes away. And there's a bunch of seasons, too, so it's a really good show to, like, just go in on.

Yeah, there's like six seasons. I'm going to be watching this show for the rest of my life. because I don't have time to binge watch right now. So I'm just, it's like us and pretty little liars. Just like tantric sexing up my way through the Americans. I'm going to be, you know, four years from now I'm going to finish. Yeah, and apparently the last season was like fucking fantastic. Like it stays good throughout.

Yeah. Really? Is it present day? No, it's 1982. Mm. So it's like height of the Cold War. Yeah. It's like very like everybody's afraid of Russia.

It's, but it's so sexy. But that's the thing. They're afraid of Russia. because they fucking should be. Yeah. Because Russian. Badass Russians. It's impossibly sexy.

Yeah. Okay, I'll watch it. And you don't have to know anything about the Cold War. Like, it is really interesting politically, but I don't really know anything about the Cold War. And I'm finding it very interesting, but it's not like you have to have like a bunch of like prior knowledge going in. No, none whatsoever. But you do have to pay attention. Okay.

All right. Yeah. It is very complex. Sometimes I admit when I'm watching the Americans, I like, maybe. 85% understand what's going on. Yeah, me too. In terms of the plot. I just keep going.

When I don't understand what's going on, I just keep going on. It'll all work itself out eventually. Someone will die. And then they will explain what is going on here. Yeah. Because they'll set out the entire plot line for the episode in like one mumbled sentence in the first five minutes because it's like a spy mission of the week type of show. Okay.

It's like every week there's like a new spy mission that they have to accomplish. I'm completely on board. Where are we watching this? It's on FX. Oh, how do I do it if you don't have the cable? Amazon. Yeah, I watch you on Google Play. Okay, I'll do that.

That sounds great. It's really, it's so damn sexy. I was so taken aback by how sexy I find Matthew Reese. Like, I really... Oh, he's very sexy. I'm glad because at first I was just like, maybe it's because they make him very 80s. Like he's got real 80s hair.

And at first I was like, oh, this is like, I don't know, just like a dad guy who's very... to Felicity. And then by the end of like episode one, I was like, okay. Like, it's really very, very, yeah, because that's the thing about SpyCraft is that they have to use their bodies

to get things done. Oh, it's like, so it's Russian Mr. and Mrs. Smith. I guess I never saw Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Never saw Mr. Mrs. Smith either. I mean, me neither. I just know that that's how they started fucking. I don't think anyone really saw Mr. and Mrs. Smith.

All I know is that they started fucking because of Mr. and Mrs. Smith. It did look sexy, Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Yeah, it did look sexy. And this show is definitely, and it's sexy in all kinds of ways because you've got, like, sensual loving sex, but then you've also got, like, dirty barroom sex, and then you've got, like, really dirty Carrie Russell sex

because she's got to get that information from that general anyway she can't. Oh, you damn straight. But the only thing about it is I do not find the guy from the Truman show sexy in the least, and I find him very annoying. And I think I'm supposed to, like, his character, is not the one that you're really identifying with, but he drives me nuts. I'm like, get out of here.

Beeman. I like Sam Beeman. Sam Beeman's okay. And I like the plot line of like him and his wife and all the problems they got to go through. Uh-oh, as an FBI agent, is she just a normal? Yeah, she's a normal. But they don't, you know,

it's hard for them to connect because he's always thinking about work. He's always thinking about work. Yeah, and he can't talk to her about it. He can't tell her what's going on because it's the fucking Cold War. Also, he has like a real sense of self-importance about what a big boy important FBI guy he is. But all the FBI kind of has that, but they play with it really well. I never watched the Waltons, but Gideon cannot let an episode of the Americans go by without

pointing out that John Boy from the Waltons is also in it, Agent Gadd. That's John Boy? I guess so. Wow. It means nothing to me. I literally don't know who John Boy is. Wow. But it's very important to Gideon.

Oh, that's interesting. Unless he's wrong, which is also possible because I've never fact-checked him. But every so much, he's like, that's a job boy. See, I feel like I would have more sex with my partner if they had a job that they couldn't talk to me about. Because I feel like I would always be like the Carrie Russell where it's like, but I just want to get some information out of you. How do I do it?

You know, it's like you have a whole separate life that I don't know about, which I imagine would bring problems eventually. But the first five years, I feel like that would be hachi-matchy. Well, this isn't a spoiler, but if you want to just some example of a little bit, of sexiness between Carrie Russell and the husband, Philip and Elizabeth. Philip and Elizabeth,

is that she tries to get him to roleplay as one of his spy characters. Ooh. Fuck me as Clark. Ooh, I want to watch it. I feel like I'm just, you can just like cut to me in five hours from now just watching the sex clips from the American.

What I'm probably going to do. We all want to do. Don a brogue and take a Scottish suckling to the hot, strong youngs and Outlander, but let's think about how those hot, fresh youngs smell for a second. Uh-oh, how is my hot, strong young covered in yuck sauce? It's because they didn't have the electricity or the passion yet to have a company that's bringing the feeling back into fragrance. And that's Flur, baby. Instead of testing a scent on a strip of paper, or worse, being ambushed by a sea of yummy, kilted notty men, you can get to know each of Flur's scents with pictures,

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I knew I would love Hepcat because it was described as smoky and raw, a dark and moody scent, which I'm all about. I may not be as dark and moody as I used to be, but damn if I don't want to smell like I'm living in Empire Records. I love it! Florecrete sustainably crafted award-winning perfumes, delivered with transparency at an honest price. to love. Go to Fleur.com today and use promo code page 7 to get 20% off your custom flur sample set. Pick three cents to try and get credit towards a full-size bottle of your favorite. That's promo code page 7 at flur.com to try three flur fragrances of your choice at 20% off. P-H-L-U-R.com. Jamie, why won't you love me? The whole episode is so good that you

won't even want to skip to the sex parts, but it is basically not exactly like every We, Carrie Russell needs to, like, use sex to achieve her mission, but it is not that either. I mean, she's not shy about using sex to achieve the mission. Yeah. I mean, speaking of shows that I need to start watching and I have started watching because of your recommendations, can't we just get a little bit into our 90-day fiancé talk? And we did... This is... This is a 90-day fiancé podcast.

I would like to check your own the 90-day fiancé. All these people are telling me about 90-day fiancé all week now since we talked about it last week. I got a watch it, but I haven't yet. And now I feel like... Molly, you need to watch it, watchy, watchy. You watch, coffee. This show is now to take over my life. Oh, man.

I mean, the couples tell all that was just released on Sunday. Woo boy. Yeah, Rob, I'm still trying to desperately catch up. Oh, man. So you're just... I mean, you're just now getting into the, I mean, Colton Larissa, obviously. Colty. Yeah, Corti and Larissa from Brazil.

That's obviously, like, the most popular one. They're the most popular couple because they're the craziest because they're both crazy. He's crazy. He's crazy. Yeah, but he's crazy in a quiet, very, very quiet way, but she's really crazy. And then you got Oswego and you got your Ashley and her dude. Oh, yeah. Jay.

There's Jay. Yeah, yeah. There's a whole lot going on this season. But the reason why I bring it up is because Larissa, who is Colty's wife, just got arrested. Again. I mean, she's been, I think it said that she's been arrested six times. Well, she was arrested a couple times here in America for a domestic battery by beating Colt. Yeah.

Yeah. Rough shit. Yeah. Both times, like he called the cops on her and the cop showed up and were like, oh, Wow, yeah, you're definitely a fault here. Oh, no. And then the last time that they showed up, she had, like, scratches and all kinds of shit all over, and they determined they were all self-inflicted.

Self-inflicted. And I think, like, not to say this, but it's, it really truly blows my mind because he came out, I think, I guess, a couple of weeks ago, because he had been talking with other women online. And so she flipped the fuck out because he was, like, sending dick picks to women, and women were flirting with him online. And why? Look at this dude.

I'm not even talking. Looks. I mean, personality. He's a dead fucking weird, creepy fish. Yeah, yes, dead weird creepy fish. He's a bloat fish, but like a dead, a dead, dead fish in every way. He has almost no personality and the only personality that he does have is awful. Yeah.

Have you guys seen, and it's, I know it's not the exact. exact same show, but I want to at least ask if anybody has seen the commercials for the new reality show Temptation Island. I've heard of Temptation Island. This is like the third or fourth season, right? That's what people, so it's, the commercials are like a brand new series, but everybody I've asked about it as like, that show's been on for like decades. And so I'm confused about whether it's new or not. But the premise is that these couples go to the island and then they're allowed to date other people

and it's supposed to see how strong their relationship is. Oh. There are lots of fights. Indeed, the temptation is there. Yeah. It certainly is. It looks so sexy and I do want to watch it

and I guess I'm sure that 90-day fiancé also has lots of sex but I kind of like that real world style sex where it's a bunch of people in a house. It has no sex at all. Really? Yeah. None whatsoever.

It's mostly just awkward fights. See, that's, I like the fights, but I like when they come along with sex. And again, preferably a bunch of people all in a house together having sex, which is what Temptation Island looks like. The problem with 90-day fiancé, my biggest complaint about it, and sometimes I do have to turn it off because the episodes are like an hour and a half long each. Like, each episode is like a full-length movie. They're so long.

They're so long. They're so fucking long. It's so long. And what gets me is the bickering. Is like the big fights are fun. Like when you're like really like you're watching like a couple have like a very serious fight that they both agreed to be filmed. Like they both agreed that their entire lives would be filmed for this series. But when it gets into like just the snipping and the bickering, that's when I'm like, I have to fucking turn this off for a little while.

I have to leave the room. I guess if it's like marital fights without sex That sounds like actually a bit of a hard sell Well I mean according to the rest of we have a sex All the time you always ask me for the sex You got a big and deep I want to watch To be fair I want to watch I want to watch a lot of tapes I want to watch most tapes

It's not a tape I want to watch Because I imagine he's crying and she's just like scratching out I'm like, I love it. I love it. I love myself. And she's just like watching herself in a mirror. She did have a pretty good insult on the tell all because she got into a fight, of course, with a couple of the other couples. And as the other couple was walking off the set, she just goes, try to buy a butt because the other one doesn't have as big of a Brazilian butt as she does.

I mean, she's got a great ass. And then there's the other couple where he just straight up bought her new breasts before she even got to America. and she was also 16 when they met I know Yeah It's not good Yeah Because we finally did the math as far

Because she was like 19 She's like we met it three years ago I'm like oh shit You were you were 16 years old And she's also the hottest one on the show By far oh yeah By far the hottest one Yeah Jonathan and

What's her name I gotabado I forget what her name is. They're boring. They're boring. They're the most boring couple on there, but they're the hottest couple on there. They're just shallow. They're just extremely shallow people.

And she's a child, and he is a shallow 32-year-old. And yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, things get weird. The families also come in and fight and say, don't marry this person. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In the case of, like, the case of, like, the older dumpy guy and his Indonesian green card. Oh yeah, the ex-marine. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, the

Indonesian green card hunting wifey on that one. Yeah, she had him kick out his own daughter from the house because you make a mess. Oh, yeah, yeah. That's right. Very upsetting. But also, Molly, if you're going down the Temptation Island route, I

highly encourage you to watch Love Island, which is the British fuck reality show. I think I've talked about it on here before, but talk about fucking. They ends like everyone has to like sleep in different beds every night kind of thing. And like, of course they're just going to end up fucking. Yeah, see, that's what I want like that.

It's because I think it's like a suspended adolescence. They're like being like being a teenager and watching like the real world and like watching people all staying in a house together all fucking. And when you're a teenager, you're like, the only times that I'm ever around other people like who I want to flirt with are like at sleepovers or like, you know, school trips. So we're surrounded by a lot of other people. Not like I actually want to have sex for real in a house with like a bunch of other people who are also having sex. In real life, that would be really weird.

But something about it on TV when it's just a houseful of people who are all super sexually charged. It really works as a TV formula. For sure. I feel like it arkins back to like the drama club trips you would go on where you had the tape on the door and you're like, but if I didn't have this tape on the door,

I would be showing up at your door. Just have a hubble. A hubber you want it Because I won golden monologing Don't you want to be with me? And the whole thing, like all of these shows They're so, even though weirdly the people in them Are in their late 20s and early 30s

Like they're really all teenagers Like, you know, like it's such a teenage concept But the idea that there's people Who are 32 years old doing these shows Seems impossible. Yeah, it's very sexy, very sexy. It's like teenagers are the producers It's like if they let teenagers into the production room

and they're like, what do you want to see? Like, oh, a bunch of people on a sleep over there. They're all fucking. You're like fucking every time. They're on a school trip. But then they get to sneak out of their hotel rooms and they go to each other's hotel rooms. Yes, please.

I would watch the hell out of it. That's why I loved bug juice. Even though there was no fucking bug juice because they were like 12 or 13. There sure wasn't. Bug juice. It was a Disney Channel show in the, I want to say, early 2000. Maybe or maybe in the 90s?

It was just like if you never went to summer camp like me or if you did go to summer camp like Girl Scout Camp and everyone was mean to you also like me then you could watch this show and live vicarious it was just like a bunch of kids like having a great time. See we had Salute Your Shorts. Also I also watched Salute Your Shorts. But Bug Juice was a docket show.

It was like one of the early reality shows. So you could do your fictional with Salute Your Shorts. I think I had a crush on Pinsky. Is that possible? Possibly. Probably. Was he kind of, what did he look like? Did he look like the guy from Scream?

He was the bad book. Yeah, he was, I like, you know, I liked him. Also, you throwing it out there, I would have definitely slobbed on donkey lips. You're gonna say donkey lips. Sorry, you definitely are gonna say donkey lips. Of course, I'm gonna say donkey, of course. I think that that's great. I think that donkey lips was a great character and a great guy.

Yeah, I think- Donkey lips. I feel like it was- Bring up a picture of Pinsky. That's definitely where it showed that I just wanted to have sex and I didn't care. You know what I mean? Where it's like, that guy would definitely sleep with me. But donkey lips was sweet.

Yeah, Pinsky. He was cute. He's got a 90s look about him. He's got that 90s swoopy hair. Yeah, he was the bad boy. But Pinsky definitely looks like the kind of dude that you would sleep with on the Kid Rock crews that I keep saying I'm going to go on. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I don't think it really holds up now, but it makes sense that when I was like eight, I thought he was dreamy.

I have talked to you guys about this Kid Rock Cruise, right, that I am planning on going on at some point. I don't think so. I don't, you, I've heard, I've heard mention of Kid Rock Cruise, but I did not know that the plans were actually in motion. I mean, it leaves the dock out of my hometown. How do I not do, I feel like they're begging me to go and watch Uncle Crackerel. four nights in a row. So the thing about a cruise, many things about a cruise scare me. One is that there's no way out. Another is that you're on the water, and again, aforementioned sea sickness.

But you're talking about a cruise where all the entertainment, instead of having all of those, you know, Mickey Mouse-shaped swimming pools and lounge singers, it's all Kid Rock neat. She's talking about Kid Rock's chilling the most flying high island jam. I just, I don't know. I feel like you would be trapped on a boat with some of the world's worst people. I think it would be such a fun adventure. Oh, you're not going to meet your husband on that cruise.

Oh, I don't want to. But what I did tell Jeff, I was like, I feel like this is a good thing for me to go on with my girls because there's a guarantee that I will not cheat on you. It is not a fuck boat. You do not want to fuck on that boat. Oh, excuse me, the Kid Rock's chilling the most flying high island jam. That's actually, I think, where the cruise might end. Oh.

And the Dominican Republic at the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino, all-inclusive experience, two kid rock shows, four days of music and activities, one rock and music festival vacation. That sounds amazing. Um, follow me. Everything is all right. I bet they play that song at least because Uncle Cracker usually is on the boat with them. And I feel like, I mean, I can hear follow me 20 times in a day and not want to off myself or throw myself off the side of the boat. That's not true.

I definitely would think about throwing myself off the side of the boat. God, I mean, I would only, the only thing that draws me to a cruise is just the idea of just drinking all day on a boat. And if I was on a Kid Rock cruise, I would just be hammered. It wouldn't be like fun, light cocktail drink and getting a little buzz on all day. It would be like wake up and be like, I have to forget. that I'm on this kid rock. Oh, yeah.

It is a boat to forget. Yeah, but if you don't go, you're not going to see live performances from Jamie Johnson, a thousand horses, the Earls of Leicester, John Stone and the Trailer Park All-Stars, Bishop Gunn, the Sweet Tea T-Trio, Dean James Jr., and more to be announced. What? It's four. It's fake-ass, sweet T-trio. How can I ask for more than that?

Is there like a kid rock-shaped pool? Well, there are theme nights. There's podunk pirate night. There's beach babes and cowboys. There's camo castaways. What is Camo Castaways? What is Cammo Castaways? I imagine it's just like a bunch of Hicks version of, what is it?

Is it, what's the one that's gone forever? Three hour tour. Gelligan's Island Gelligan's Island Yeah Camelow Castaways We may only be here for four nights But our dream is getting stranded On this island forever

The only thing we need to survive Is each other in our camouflage gear That sounds great This sounds great Marcus do you want To turn in camo attire This sounds fucking awesome This sounds so much fun

Out in the Everybody out in the woods Wearing camo Hanging out My concern about The truth is, I think that in general, Kid Rock's aesthetic is like, I'm a working class guy, but he's actually very, very rich. And I'm concerned, and he's kind of doing like working class cosplay. And I'm worried that the boat's going to be full of rich people doing their like, I'm a working class man cosplay.

And that is my primary concern. I doubt it. I don't think it was going to be a whole bunch of that. Because, I mean, how are you going to do that when you're on po-dunk pirate? at night. Yo, ho, ho. These badass maties don't give

any flying hillbilly fucks. We're mashing up everything we love about rednecks and pirates for a night of badass debauchery. Let's see

those lawn flamingos sitting atop your shoulder. American flag eye patches, trucker hats with a captain's feather, anything that yells, are you a redneck?

Oh, no. Are you a redneck? Oh, no. There's going to be a bunch of bankers. sit around being like, I'm a redneck. Oh. Yes, yes, there's plenty of room at the hotel, California.

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That's stitchfix.com slash page seven to get started today. Stitchfix.com slash page seven for when you just can't kill the beast. So what I'm throwing out there to you guys, do you want to go on and see if we can do a live page seven from the kid rock book? I'm sure that we would fit into the aesthetic very, very well. Oh. Are you a pirate? Are you a redneck?

They're going to throw us off the book. We can't go on that boat. Why, you worried about getting knocked up again? I understand. I get it. Things happen. Things happen on the chill in the most cruise. I'm worried they're not going to trust us on that boat.

Oh, they'll trust us. We just have to, we have to assimilate. We have to dress like, get all the camo. Oh, my God. Molly, you would look so great in one of those curled up cowboy hats, the ones that are curled up on the side. Yeah. And I got cred.

My very first concert was Kid Rock. See? Yeah. You, as we've discussed, can almost certainly rock a pair of cowboy boots. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Well, especially I can rock a pair of cowboy boots if I'm going to Beach Babes and Cowboys. Live the laid-back life of a permanent beach dweller but with a redneck flare.

Ladies, show off those bikinis and Daisy Dukes. And fellas, pack your cowboy hat and boots. On this island, we're chilling the absolute most. We are. How seduced are you? buy this website. Is Larry the Cable Guy there? Because I feel like I would not be surprised

if he is also there. Nah. If he's the stand-up entertainment. No, Larry the Cable guy's too tame for Kid Rock. We're going to be ripping this. Man, we're going to be bawwit to Bonn all the way to Key West. Yeah. Yeah, I'm going to bang, dabing, diggy, diggy, sit to boogie, sit up, jump to boogie.

I'm down for that. All right. Well, now I think the only thing that we're missing on this boat is how do we get Mariah Carey on the boat? Because I feel like Mariah Carey would actually weave in pretty well with this entertainment. Can you imagine what she would look like in the horror on her face if she got, if she like sunk so low as to be on the Kid Rock cruise? Oh. Is Kid Rock there?

Mm-hmm. There's two Kid Rock shows. Uh-huh. Two. Yeah. So if you black out and you go see one, you don't remember, if you can go again. You're at your risk of missing a kid rock show is substantially reduced. Very much so. Yeah. But that's why I so I bring up Mariah Carey because she is suing her personal assistant for $3 million because the personal assistant is blackmailing her with, quote, embarrassing and quote, personal videos. I mean, I'm surprised that that has not happened before. Yeah, that personal assistant blackmailing with very sensitive information.

Yeah, and I mean, I guess particularly with Mariah Carey, because I think everything she does is embarrassing. Yeah, I imagine so. But then what are on these videos? That is what I'm truly intrigued by, because I just imagine that she, like, has her personal assistant in the room when she's fucking, and she's just like, no, no, I need better light. No, yeah, get over here.

I want you to make sure you see the angle of penetration. No, no, no. Oh! And I just imagine those are the videos that she's blackmailing her with, which I can only hope. But what else would be? Is it drugs? Could be drugs.

Could be just her just fucking blast ass wasted. Because according to the blind items, Mariah Carey likes the wine quite a bit. And, you know, she considering how not embarrassed she was by that very uncomfortable video of her and her children singing, her forcing her children to sing the backup vocals. I can imagine that there exists some even more embarrassing videos of baby her with her children. Yeah.

I'm just really excited because I'm excited because I feel like at some point these videos are going to come out. And that's what I can't wait for. I want to talk about somebody who I'm really disappointed to see them fall from grace. but how what grace grace is we're talking about i carey i'm talking i want to talk about melissa joan heart who maybe grace is an overstatement grace is a big overstatement but you know i was a big fan of clarissa explains it all i'd never watched sabrina but i know people love it and melissa jrardt maybe fall from grace is too strong on all levels but melissa joan heart definitely uh is is in a bit of trouble for going on a podcast and talking about parenting and talking about moving her kids

from the Christian school that they were used to to a traditional non-Christian school. And she had to kind of prime her kids for it. And she said, quote, we don't know if these people are good people. We don't know if they believe in Jesus. And then what her son made friends with a Jewish boy, he asked how his new friend would get into heaven.

and because his friend wasn't having Jesus in his heart and Melissa John Hart basically kind of proceeded to continue to talk about how you can't trust people who don't have Jesus in their heart and it was not a good look. But it also what's ridiculous. It's another quote that she had. It's like, I've been studying religion for the past eight years

and I'm learning more every day. I try to never judge anyone unless they put ice in their way. wine, but I was simply telling my son that we know people and it's old school, even down to their faith beliefs. But at the same time, you're saying that you're not judging anybody, but then you're like, I think that you are? I don't know a lot of that religion, but I think that that's a judgment. Also, I like how she's a, right.

So a bunch of people said what you just did was that's not, that's, that's, you know, not good. You should not say that about people who aren't Christians. We live in a climate right now where you shouldn't be. talking about how people who aren't Christians aren't trustworthy, et cetera. And then that's when she responded. I've been studying religion for eight years and the only people I judge is people who put ice in their wine. Which you know what? Throwing out there, I put ice in my wine. Yeah, put ice in the wine. I put ice in my wine. I put ice in my wine. I put ice in the wine. I just want to know what she

means by that because I feel like that is something that people say. when that's not exactly what they mean. I feel like she maybe means going to church, but I don't think she's in a religious studies program. I don't know what she means, but I've been studying religion for eight years. I want her to elaborate. No, and it's the same thing.

It was like, I judge no one on their religious beliefs because honestly, if you do whatever you're going to do, don't affect my life, you do. Everybody lives their own life. But it's the same kind of thing with like, not as similar, because Chris Pratt is very good at what he says and how he says it. But he is on this 21-day, fast, it's a Bible-inspired fast called the Daniel fast.

That is about it, so it's fasting and praying as well as, I believe it's fruits, vegetables, and unleavened breads that he's allowed to eat as he's working out. Yeah, I think Chris Pratt's like low-key super evangelical. Oh, he's, I think he's high-key super, because like a lot of his, like, he's quoted, like, he had, I forget which award show it was that he's like, there are seven things I've learned in my life. God is love.

Believe in God. God will help you, like guide you to your better decisions, like all this stuff. So he's very open about his religion, which is why I do kind of wonder if that's why he put a ring on Catherine Schwarzenegger because I don't know if that's a,

I want to fuck you ring. Wow. Has he been like that? Or is this like a new I'm lost Chris Pratt? I think it's a new type of thing, right? He had, he had like a whole religious awakening at the age of 19. But now he's being way more outspoken about it. But again, that is his right.

He can say whatever he wants to say. But what it comes down to the fasting for 21 days, that's a, as somebody, as a dude that works out all the time, which also, I don't know if you've seen recent pictures, but he's getting a little bit of his dad bob back. and I am here for it. I miss Dad about Chris Pratt. I feel like isn't his whole thing that he kind of like got hot and then became a dick? And like if he's like super Christian,

then of course, no problem. I just like I didn't know that Melissa Joan Hart was super Christian. I don't care if she's super Christian. It's that, you know, telling, saying that you can't trust people who aren't Christian is something that I think is not as not good practice.

But I feel like if Chris Pratt is like, oh, super Christian, no problem with that. But isn't he also famously like, been just like a total dick? I mean, I'm not quite sure because Anna Farras still seems to like wish him well. They co-parent jacked together like part of the end

of their divorce which was only like the finalization of the divorce was two months ago and he just got engaged Catherine Schwarzenegger but as part of the deal in their divorce is that they can't live outside of five miles of each other because of the because they are co-parenting.

So I feel like if you're doing that with a dude he can't be that much of a at least overall, as well as the fact that like she even joked around on her, she has a podcast called Unqualified, that she said like, hey, you know, if you need a minister, I am ordained as well. So it's like, I don't know if it's just like outwardly pro all of it. You know what I mean? Okay.

I feel like he went from being like Andy, you know, to be in like Mr. Number One sculpted, Hollywood man. And it seems like it kind of affected his personality. And I mean, there's no way that you can't because you know what? He's got to be hungry. There's something about, like looking at a dude that has a 12 pack on his stomach, I've never really been attracted to that kind of dude just because like all I can see in them is that like all you think about is working out and what you can eat and what you are allowed to eat and how you're supposed to live your life. And it's like, I want you to just be thinking about

how much you love having sex with me. That's what you should be thinking about. Tell me about Catherine Schwarzenegger. What's her deal? I mean, she's one of the Schwarzenegger. She's also part of the Hillsong Church with him, which is like what Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez go to. It's like the celebrity Christian church.

And she seems pretty chill. So, I mean, I don't really know a whole lot about her. But I guess it's good. But I think that it's a fuck me ring, pretty sure. You know, again, I don't hold anything against people that wait for marriage, but I obviously have not followed that rule. But, you know, no judges. I just hope that they're getting married because they want to get married, not just because they want to go down to Boundown. And I got no, I think there's like a genre of like people who are, in terms of Melissa Joan Hart and Judges,

there's a genre of like people who are famous teenage stars. in the 90s like Alicia Silverstone, Maim B. Alec, aka Blossom, and Melissa Joan Hart. And all three of them have weird shit that they do as parents. Alicia Silverstone famously feeds her baby like a bird. Yes. Maim B. Alec still breastfeeds her, like, very old children. And Melissa Joan Hart, you know, has this weird Christian thing.

And I guess that was just that discovery that she also has some weird shit. And I don't mean to compare those three acts. What's Jennifer Love Hewitt? too. Is she okay? Maybe like a bird, not comparable, or still breastfeeding your five or six year old, I guess again, no judges. But it's weird to watch the teenagers who we grew up with grow up and be weird moms. How old are the kids that she's still breastfeeding?

I just don't, I wouldn't want a six-year-old gnashing on my nippies, you know what I mean? I think they're like at least four. It's more just the biting tactic. Yeah, it was four. Four. And she did it on the subway. I think there was a photo going around. And, you know, I definitely know people who's definitely breastfed their kids till three or four.

So, again, mothers get judged for all sorts of stupid shit. I understand why people judged Alicia Silverstone for feeding her baby like a bird. I understand why people are weirded out when you see like a child who can speak like, Mommy, can I please have your breast? Although I will say that, like, I mean, it's got to make it pretty easy. once they can like stand and that they are the size of your breasts so you don't even have to bend over anymore they can just like take it out themselves and go to town yeah and i do try to be i try to not especially after since becoming a mom i try to like really not judge moms about anything unless they're saying stuff that can hurt other people which i think is the melissa joan heart falls into that category but yeah so my ambialic not hurting anybody by breastfeeding her uh large child but she is hurt you people by being on the Big Bang theory. And I think that's more of what I'm upset about.

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You know what? I actually found something that let's go ahead and do it. It's time for the list. Hey! Who's on the list? Marcus, got to have that list. Other celebrities who practiced extended breastfeeding. Oh, okay.

I mean, it's not as intense as four years old, always. Courtney Kardashian. did it well past a year old. She said, why am I doing this? If I'm happy and he's happy, I'll do it. I mean, I guess. But also, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, how long are you supposed to, like, what is like the general gist of how long you're supposed to breastfeed?

The recommendation is until a year. And I actually feel, so my baby just stopped on her own because when I went back to work, it like fucked my body up a little bit because I wasn't, I couldn't pump at work. And so she stopped around six months. And so then I kept pumping so that she could still keep having breast milk. And I just recently was like, I can't, I'm going to, I like, I'm spending so much time pumping. Like, time I could be hanging out with her. I'm like leaving her with, you know, and then going to another room to pump.

So I was like, I have given her like, you know, seven, eight months of breast milk. And I'm passing the baton onto other ways to feed her now. But it's like, you know, there's a lot, it's breastfeeding is weird because there's like a lot of guilt around not doing it or not doing it long enough and you're supposed to do it for at least a year or whatever. Or it's recommended that you do it for at least a year. Some people can't do it at all. But then, and so there's part of me that feels bad being so weirded out when I see like there's like a documentary that has like eight-year-old still breastfeeding. And they're like, I think it's delightful. Oh, me give me your brace now.

I feel like I haven't seen a good amount. Every video I've watched of it, not to say, I'm not saying that all of them are like this, but like a lot of the ones I've watched on YouTube are of European families. So it is just like that, Mother I breast milk, please. For me, I'm hungry. I think it's nicer than any other people. It's just cute because kids with accents are very cute. So it's like, yeah, because when kids get an accent, you're like, all right. Maybe you get a point.

Yeah. Breastfeed third grader. So, Emma Hayek did it for a while. Oh, of course. I mean, honestly, if I was that kid, be like, Mommy, show me your chitties again. Show me your chitties, mommy. Yeah, it is, I guess, a 90s thing.

Alonis Morissette did it well past the second year. Oh. Yeah. Wait, when do Tiefies come involved? Teethy's come in before one. Like, a lot of people stop around nine or ten. months when their child bites them for the first time. Ouch!

Makes my nipple turges sticky, but yeah. I definitely have friends who feed, who best breastfed at least until two or three. And it's just, my experience was like primarily breastfeeding like an infant who like didn't even, couldn't even hold her head up, you know? And so it's like a very specific thing trying to, and when Freddie was born, she was so small, it was like a very specific challenge trying to breastfeed somebody who's extremely small and has no muscle control. So when I see people, I are well, feeding like a 30 pound, two and a half year old.

I'm like, that is, I can't even imagine what that physical experience would be like because it's so different than the one I had, you know? It's got to be weird. But also, they must be jacked holding the baby up like that, right? Or the toddler up. And what's cool is like breast milk is like this very, like, amazing magic thing where it changes for the needs of your baby. So when, like, if you have a pre-me, you have like my body made like extra high calories. breast milk.

And there's like specific things in breast milk for newborns that help them fight off infections and whatever. That's so weird. Yeah. And then it changes as the kid gets older based on what their needs are. So I don't know what it's like for older kids, but it's like the fucking body just makes to the like toddler formula or whatever. And you can also breastfeed when you're pregnant.

So you can people breastfeed their two and three year olds like, well, they're gestating. And then I've also heard of people who have their second baby and then breastfeed the big toddler on one. And then the infant on the other. Why? But why? But why? Because it's, you know, it's good.

It's a lot of people have a positive experience with it. Give them a Dr. Pepper and call it a day. Yeah, I see it. You've got a baby brother. And today's day you learn what Dr. Pepper is. Continue on the 90s train, the girl that played Winnie Cooper. Also, over two and a half years old. I saw a book of her.

I went to a museum over the weekend. Yeah, I'm smart. Yeah, I'm an adult. I was watching. I wanted to go see a spaceship. And I saw a book by Winnie Cooper. She's a math girl. Yeah, she's a mathematician.

She writes books about how girls should feel confident doing math. That's nice. Yeah, it is nice. Her and Blossom, both turning. out to be big smarty pants. Yeah, but also breastfeed their children for a long time. Both breastfeed their children for a long time. Oh, you know who else did it?

Kelly Preston. Whoa. Maybe it's because she was guilty because they were test tube babies and she felt that the lies of the love that she felt for her husband wouldn't, you know, translate if she pumped them full of her milks for longer. Is that how it works, Molly? She said, when I stop, it's going to be really hard on me. I love nursing so much.

Yeah, a lot of people love it. And I guess two and a half years, to me, two and a half years seems like forever since it was like very hard. I found it to be a very challenging experience. It was like very hard to make it to six months. So to me, two and a half seems like a long ass time. But I think for a lot of people who still do it at two and a half years, they're like, ah, it just kept happening, you know?

Like, you don't do it all day. You do it like before the kid goes to bed or whatever. So, like, I'm anticipating people maybe even. And, you know, hearing this and saying two and a half years isn't even that long, but, man, from my stance, making it to two and a half years is a long time to have your body, like, producing, it's hard on your body, you know? Like, your body is, like, producing, like, a complex food for another human being. Yeah, dude.

It's just really, it's just the talk of it makes my nipples hurt. And I think it's just because I've never had a child chow down on them yet. And I think that I, I think this is just, like, the difference between being a person that has not had a child. I'm like, ah, ah, and then mother's just like, get the fuck over it. You also squeeze it out of your fucking hoojanie's. Jackie can attest to the amount of times I have Marco Polo at her whilst pumping. Oh, yeah.

It's not as loud as I thought it was going to be. How many times have I Marco Polo with, like, from here on up, shoulders on up, no clothes, and just being like, I'm pumping. So this is the time I have to touch. Yeah, dude. But I just imagine, like, the pumps are like the chatterer centobite from Hellwriters. I think that's actually pretty accurate. All right, it's time for blind at home.

We can see them. If you can't start a fashion company to launder money, then another great way is to start a movie production company. that spends a lot in exploring deals but never actually produces anything. This is what this former almost A-Minus List actress turned escort is doing. Oh, I thought it was going to be like a Kanye thing.

You said fashion. Production and fashion? A-minus list. Well, she wasn't able to do the fashion line. Lindsay Lohan. Yes. She's got, I would imagine she's got a, a fair amount of escort money to launder.

Chah. And also, it is, it's interesting, especially watching, I watch the second episode of Lindsay Lowlands Beach Club. And it is all about, which I do actually, you know what, I will doff, doff my hat, what is it? Doff. Yeah, doff my hat to her. That it's a lot about her trials and tribulations of what she's trying to get over in creating a beach club. and being a boss and doing all these things.

But all of that would make a lot of sense because it's definitely like, it's... People are trying to compare it to Vanderpump rules, the show, and it's like, it's not, because it's more of a platform for her to talk about all of the problems she had before she started this beach club. And, like, when she got hit on the beach in Greece, and, like, dealing with all of that,

like, the backlash of that, and how she psychologically dealt with it. And, um, yeah, I mean, bitch is all fucked up, is what I'm saying. And the show is not Vanderpump rules. Apparently, the blind items also say that the show is full of lies. No. No.

That must be wrong. What kind of lies? No reality television show has ever been based on lies and clever editing. No. Take it back. How dare you say that about 90-day fiancé? Oh, that the editing is pretty much the entire show? Marcus, these are real life people in real life relationships.

I'm done! I'm done! Have you seen Debbie freak out yet? Oh, you're going to love it when Debbie Freak? I'm done! No, but I can't wait. There are just so many long episodes. I'm really excited about it.

They're so long. Honestly, when you said, I was getting excited to watch it. When you said they were long, I got slightly less excited to watch. They're like an hour 20 each. How? Were they that long? I don't know. It's a lot.

There's a lot of silences where they, you can tell they're editing in silences to kind of pad the show a little bit. They need to keep the long silences. But you got to remember, these people are getting followed around by cameras 24-7. Well, not 24-7, but they're getting followed around. A lot. A lot. And there's what, six couples?

Yeah. They got to keep up with all of them. But what are they saying about, wait, what are the blind items saying about Lindsay Lowe and the fact that it's all fake? It's just that they're saying it's fake. It's just that, well, that it's lies. Mm-hmm. Because remember, there was that other blind item that we talked about in which, like her, quote-unquote boyfriend, is actually her boyfriend's son, and she's really banging the old dude.

E. Kofa. I mean, the wrinklies need to get crinkly with all that gush. And I'm proud of her. Someone's got to take the helm of fucking billionaires, old billionaires. There's something about that. actresses, we were just talking about the actresses who were teenagers when we were kids

like Blossom and Alicia Silverstone, but there's something about the actors who were like our age when we were kids, like Mary Kate and Ashley and Lindsay Lohan, when they're fucking old men, it just hits too close to home. Does it make you feel jealous? Are you envious? Or do you just think about yourself?

It makes me feel like they're too young to be fucking very old men, which is ridiculous because they are adults. Yeah. But there's just something about it that's too, like there's something about that specific phenomenon that makes me very uncomfortable. But also in your 30s is when you're supposed to start doing that.

Because you think about it, old billionaires don't usually want chippies in their 20s. They want someone's like, yeah, but she's in her 30s. Oh, but she is established. She's not that young. I feel like in your 30s is when you can get away with it as an old billionaire to have sex with someone younger because it's like they are a fully, quote,

a good formed person, you know. But women hit their sexual prime in their 30s, and so are they having really great sex with the old men, or aren't they? And I feel like they might not be. Not saying that old men can't have great sex, but if you're having sex with an old man just for the money, are you also doing it for the sex?

Sounds like you're not. But maybe they are. What if there's something? Maybe that's just a world we don't know about. Old men might be really good at sex, lots of time to learn. Google. Our old man good at sex enter

Marcus I found 10 results for our old man good at sex Oh well six things older men do better in bed Oh I want to start I need to get an Alexa just so I could shout that at it Just be like Henry where he's saying my Alexa never responds to me because he's just going Alexa Alexa Just screaming at it like that so I'm going to ask it

Alexa about it, I feel like she would have to say in some sort of sultry tone. What does it say, Marcus? What do they do better? Older men take their time, young lady. Yeah, but that's just because they can't do it as fast. They focus on foreplay. Older men got to be better, unless they are the type of person who doesn't like to learn. The more you do something, the better you get at. Right?

Yeah. Says older men believe in ladies first and often. Okay. I feel like that this is a general list, but I'm definitely on board and I hope that it's true. I think the writer of this article just fucked one old man.

Or is an old man. It's like, you're fantastic. Older men take longer to finish. Older men can go multiple times of one night. Their own orgasm isn't necessarily a driving force. She just fucked an old man. She just fucked one old man.

She just fucked a nice old man. And that's it. And good for you. Way to go. She's going to go for fucking a nice old man. You first, darling. She's brave. I mean, you know, I just imagine her getting into that situation just being like, I got to do this for research.

And just taking notes while they're fucking. And he's just like, can you not? I want to enjoy this as well. Do you have to write all about the? Okay, yeah, I know you do. That's part of the contract. I got to fuck for research once. It was fine.

Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Some girl picked me up on Craigslist said she was writing an article. Interesting. This is back, this is like 2007. Did you ever find out what the article was about? Just about how you can just kind of pick up a dude on the internet and go fuck. This is like years before Tinder.

This is like during the Craigslist days back when Craigslist was like kind of cool. Yeah. People would write about things like randomly. It was like an empowerment thing. It was like for bitch magazine. I think I got good reviews. Hell yeah. You never looked into it?

I never was able to find the like the issue or anything like that. I mean, I didn't really look or anything, because I can't, I don't really remember her first name, but not her last name. Yeah. And I haven't cared that much. But we saw each other a couple times after that, and she gave me good reviews from what she said. Well, yeah. Yeah, yeah, I was in Bitch Magazine. But I will say good for her for being up front about it.

Yeah, definitely. She was not upfront about it. She did not tell me until afterwards. Ah, yeah. Okay, I think I rescinded my goal. But it's not like I cared. We both knew why we were there. Like we're looking for love.

You know? It was like, it's very obvious what we're doing here, you know? And it was like, a whole thing started up within like fucking 15 minutes meeting each other. Go back to her place, went to a party, went back to her place, like this fucking shitty loft in Bushwick. It was very Brooklyn. Sounds like a very 2007 Brooklyn thing. It was a very 2007 Brooklyn thing to do. Yeah.

And I assume she didn't name you or anything. You just get to be described as like a great lay. Just a good. I think good. I don't think I got like, I don't think I got like, great. I don't think it was like, it was the best sex I ever had. I think it was like, overall, it was a positive experience. Honestly, to be fair, did you ever have great sex in those lofts?

Yeah, nay. Yeah, I was totally fine with overall it was a positive experience. Put it on your tube stuff. Here lies Marcus Parks. Overall, it was a positive experience. I definitely had quite some positive, but borderline negative experiences in those Bushwick lofts. Yeah, those loves

There's a time and a place for him Yeah, when you're that young That's when you do it and you leave And you're just like, well, that happened Don't know how I ended up off the Montrose stop But I'm gonna go home now I was off of the Montrose stop too Of course, I'm feeling it's always off the Montrose stop

When you have the worst experiences Especially back then it was like It got progressively better the closer and you got Like, you know, there was two guys I did it off the Graham Stop and I felt like I was living large. Yeah, right? Yeah.

Yeah, and this was like long before, like when I got up, and I had never been out there because I only been living in the city a few months, I'd never been that far out. And I walked out the next morning, he's like, oh, God, where am I? Where? I'm at the E.m. Actually, it was the Morgan stop, like in the kind of more industrial part. Oh, yeah.

Ooh, this is frightening for 9 a.m. Especially back then when it was just warehouse. And it was no businesses. Yeah, now it's like, you know, the set of a Hallmark movie in terms of how wholesome and produced it is. It's very awesome and produced out there. Well, you know what? I say good on us for having fun adventures, but I'm proud of you for being a positive entry into a lucrative magazine titled Bitch Magazine. And I think that that is great.

I've always wanted someone to write about me in like Cosmo article. But I guess that ship has sailed because no one wants to write about a woman in her mid-30s, you know, that gave it the best shot that you could. What you realize when you read a Cosmo, which I did last night because I found one in my house, is that it is definitely written for when I used to read Cosmo, which was when I was a teenager and I didn't know anything about sex. And I was like, put a mango in my mouth, okay. And then you read it now and you're like, oh, no. Dude, just doing the alt-oids thing. when they're like always put altoids in your mouth if you're if you are giving valetio and apparently it just burns i would imagine that would be fucking terrible yeah people say pineapple mango

also don't put you don't need anything else in your mouth yeah you don't need to add to that experience it's great the way it is it's just like you don't need to you know let's not futs with that one yeah it's just one like let's just keep it going i try to cinnamon altoy one time and I will say the dude was not pleased. It even burns your mouth. Imagine what it does to a sticky. No, no, no, no, what's in your mouth? What's in your mouth?

There was a lot of what's in your mouth, which made me think of like, what's in the box? What's in the box? And so I laughed to myself and then I swallowed the cinnamon altoid, which also you shouldn't do. It was a, you know, it was a bit of a one-night stand. And that's all we got for today. Unfortunately, I have a bit small announcement. I'm going to have to take a little bit of a break from the show for a little while. While I finish up the book, the last podcast on the left book, it is taking over my life and it needs to be done.

We have deadlines. Completely understandable. We will have fun. Last podcast network hosts coming in to fill your spot. And I think that we're going to have a great time. You guys are going to have a great time. It's going to be great. It's going to be fun.

I'll be back as soon as I can. But you'll be very missed. Thank you very much. Yes, you'll definitely be missed. I will miss. I will miss being around. I'll keep up with Riverdale. Don't worry.

You got to start true detective. I've got to keep up with the Americans. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And we're going to have other boys in here, and I hate that they're not going to be watching Riverdale, but maybe we can convince them to watch Riverdale. That would be kind of fun. That would be kind of fun. I can only imagine just Kistles sitting and watching

Riverdale, you'd be like, what the fuck is this? What is this? They're children. You're watching children kiss each other. That's pretty much going to be it. I say we try and get kissed a little watch from Riverdale. I'm not promising anything, but.

Yeah, try to get them to just watch one at random. Yeah, it's fun. I think you might like it. Yeah, I think you might like it. Thank you guys so much for listening this week. If you want some more content, please hit up our Patreon page. It is Patreon.com slash page 7.

podcast. We got fun oogies and ogies for you on there. And thank you. Molly and Marcus, my name is Jackie. You can follow me on Instagram at Jack That Worm, if you like, because I got some Frantan's pictures coming up, because I will say, Franuson Springs, it's difficult to find tiny vests for a big chested woman. And I'm dealing with it. I will say right now I got a lot of my social media I'm private, so if you have requested me, I'm not approving anybody, but I'll be back soon. I'm just taking a little respite. Understandable.

And if you guys want to follow everything that's going on on the Last Podcast Network, all the other shows that are coming out, be sure and follow at Last Pod Network on Instagram and Twitter. Hell yeah, it's got all the, again, Uggies and Augies, which is something that I just made up, but I think I might like it. We'll see you guys next week. Bye. Uh-oh, y'all better watch out because we're getting Jackie with it.

Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, getting Jackie with it. Yeah, I'm over here getting Jackie with it because I am about to start reading the Patreon shoutouts of all the week. Thank you guys so much for donating to our Patreon. It makes me smile in ways that I never knew. Smile upstairs, smile downstairs, smile every step. stare that I see. Smiles go out to Riley Moser. Haley Tanner.

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That's a fun name. That's, I think, a username. But I love it. And I love all you guys. Thank you guys so much for donating to the Patreon and keeping this show going. You know that I say this a lot, but it is my favorite thing. And I really can't thank you guys enough for giving you. me the opportunity to make this my livelihood.

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