Page 7 - Episode 288: Sweet Magick's Comin' For Ya

Episode Date: January 31, 2019

Jackie and Molly are joined by Henry Zebrowski to gab bout "Abducted in Plain Sight", leggings as pants and the Superbowl. Get 15% off your first pair at http://meundies.com/pageseven Get your first refill pack free at http://getquip.com/page7 Robinhood is giving listeners a free stock at http://page7.robinhood.com Want even more hot goss? Support us on Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/page7podcast Awesome Call, Funkorama, The Show Must Be Go, Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Com Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Hey there, fuckers. It's me, Holden McNeely, and this chunky boy is Jake Young. May the Force be with you. Jake, for the love of God. And we're here to tell you about the wizard and the bruiser, a podcast that uncovers the truth behind how your favorite superheroes, anime series, and video games, became the pop culture juggernauts that we rely on to forget the pain of existence. We're not saying that this is the most informative geek history podcast ever,

but I will promise you that you will learn enough to impress your one really weird cousin who always wears the Naruto headband. And if you are that weird cousin, let me just say, agagato, Otaku Simpae. How was that, Jake? Acceptably racist. Hop on the way, way back machine as we take you to 1992 when Mortal Kombat ruled the arcades

and kids were clamoring for the newest issue of Spawn. Or just sit back and relax as two aging comedians try to understand how the hell Minecraft managed to conquer the minds of our nation's chubbiest children. No matter what, we'll do our damnedest to make sure every episode is an unforgettable journey through the stories you love, hate,

or maybe just don't understand yet. Check out Wizard and the Bruiser on The Last Podcast Network. It's geek history with extra bits. Well, I mean, Henry just got Desposito stuck in my head. Despacito. Mama, nah, ma'amma get a burrito. Yeah, he's making up the lyrics,

because he doesn't know the lyrics to it. But I'm going to go ahead, and I dare say that I have a more annoying song stuck in my head. Despacito. Don't you say that Despacito is annoying. You take those words back. Despacito is annoying.

We all know that it's annoying. It's annoying because, only because it's, I don't have the real version of despisito in my head. You have your own version. I have this droning, boring version of Despacito in my head that is rolling, that is just, like, I don't know what it is. It's like an intrusive thought. I'm experiencing a resurgence of fondness for Despacito because in my video game Just Dance 2018, I've been getting very high scores dancing to Despacito. So that's why I will have no Latin flavor.

No negative words. All right, no negative words about Despacito. It always gets stuck in my head. It's a great earworm. My name is Jackie Zabrowski and Molly Neffel is joining us today. How are you my love? Hi, guys. I've missed you and I'm so glad that Henry is here.

Yes, and we've got Henry Zabrowski from this network's last podcast on the left. And Henry is sitting in for Marcus. today and he's not driving me crazy because I'm combating you with a baby shark didy did did be baby shark baby shark baby shark uh-huh mommy shark do to do you know what you're talking about mommy shark legitimately do not know what this song is you guys might as well be like is this like a children show like theme song from Chechnya but this is this like a children's show like theme song from Chechnya but this is this? this song. It's your close

Henry. It's a YouTube children's song that is like, it's like how do I even, it's like it's like live in La Vida Loca for two year olds like every everybody under the age of three knows it and loves it. Is this made by the Hungarian box that make all the

ElsaGate videos? Is it the same group of dudes the same weird like Turkish production companies? What do you mean? What is I'm not bringing this up on another show. We've talked about Elsa Gate. It's the one about the YouTube, it's the YouTube whole shows that were created for children that were done essentially by a bunch

of keywords that children look up on YouTube where it's like Elsa and Spider-Man and stuff like Spider-Man is fucking like shitting on Elsa's head and all stuff and it's highly weirdly sexual and hyperdermic needles and all this kind of shit We've definitely never done that has nothing to do with pink fong

making baby shark This apparently this song has been around forever. It's been, it is right now. It is number 32 in the billboard charts. Which to me is insane. Yeah, it really goes to show the power of the zero to three demographic. Dude, and it's also being used in a bunch of meme stuff.

But the thing is that it was yesterday or the day before that I heard this song four times while looking through Instagram. And I finally was like, what the fuck is this song? All right, what the fuck is this song? Apparently, I'm very behind. And apparently everyone has been, has had this song stuck in their head for a long time. but now I get it and it has been 24 hours and I can't get baby shark out of my head. I think that this was a phenomenon you could have skipped. I know I don't want it.

So we delete it then. You have to delete it from your brain with something else. You need to think of something else that'll get it in there. What's the sexual nature of Mahershala Ali playing himself at 85 years old? Because honestly, what's nice about that, even I as a straight man looking at it, He's just a couple of seconds of ripping rubber off of his face from being a full-blown hot man. Yes, very true. And I often think about whether the young woman who's interviewing him as an old man knows what a banger he used to be when he was young

and thus would sleep with him now even though he's an old man. I mean, I think that does count for quite a bit. A lot of times if you could see something, you could maybe see sleeping with like a 75 to 80-year-old if you got a picture of what they used to look like, like right next to a thing kind of banging out. Yeah, you make them wear a bag over their head with their old self. No, you keep going, there you are, Peter, as you're having sex with them.

Does that mean you also eat the fake Plato food as well? Ooh, I'm so full. I'm so full, and you're just farting all the air that you've been eating. But, uh, Mercial Ali as well in that. I wonder what's going to give. We're talking about True Detective Season 3, by the way. Yes, but I wonder if it's what it's going to do. I wonder if it will start like a weird trend in the schizophrenophers.

Like in the schizophrenic community where they do believe that maybe, just maybe under the skin of that daughtering old man, if I just get through that first layer of skin, I'll reveal the sexy young version of him inside of him. So you think that that's going to become a phenomenon that people are going to start doing trying to rip the faces off of old men to fuck their younger selves? Maybe. I had a friend in high school who I can't remember if it was Peter O'Toole or Henry Fonda, but it was definitely somebody who was like, currently 80 years old, and she really wanted to bang him because she, like, thought he had always been so hot. And we were all like, but he is currently an old-ass man, and it didn't matter to her. She could see right through it. You were a part of a very, another section of nerd group that it was actually more like old tiny.

Like you went through, because you like musicals and you like tap dancing, you like all the stuff, it was like you were like a tween from 1915, like, but in modern day where people, my subgroup, I think is the direct subgroup to the nerder section of the male situation, I think would be the anime world and having sex with pillows with naked women on them. Wait, you're saying that that's what you identify as, that's your subgroup? No, I'm just saying that in terms of the type of nerd equations, if we're going to do nerd chemistry, they cancel each other out. What's hard is that there's a lot more of the type of nerd you're describing, Henry.

Like there's like anime nerds is like a thing, whereas like, 11-year-old girls who like want to sleep with Fred Astaire is like there's not a big community for that. Who doesn't want to have sex with a tap dancer? Of most people. What are you talking about? No one who was around me. It's just like, think of those dancing feet. If you brought a man into our home that was like, I don't need to sing.

I don't need to play a guitar because my instruments on my feet. Click-lick-click click click click click. I'd be like, get out of this house. Get out of this house dancing, man. Take a thing serious for us. second. Yeah, but no, he's dancing through life. We're normal shoes. He's dancing through life and I'm proud of them. No, Henry, I can't believe you. I still, there is still like, like, my plan C is still like, it's not too late for me to become a professional tap dancer.

It's not. You have delicate feet. I mean, you definitely can do tap, like become a professional tap dancer way easier than I can become a professional wrestler, which is what I keep looking into. You can't be a professional wrestler. You do not have the discipline. And you do not like pain. You do not like pain and you don't like exerting yourself just past where you need to be exerts. You got to be honest with yourself because you're going to get it in the ring and you're going to go over the ropes one time and then you're going to be like, oh, why did I do these? Henry. Oh, yeah, my brother was right. My brother is always right.

I would never say that. My brother is such a wise man. No, that's not what I would be saying. I think that I can do this. I think that my name is going to be sweet magic. You got a lot of, I want to be sweet magic with a K. You want to be the hot dog woman.

You want to be Fran Dresher. You got a lot of objectives. I'm saying you got to narrow it down and start thinking about it. Are you trying to tell me that I, are you trying to say I'm not trog enough? Oh my God. Or you didn't say that I'm not trying enough to do it. Oh, awesome.

Just imagine me in the center of the ring. I got ideas. Isn't that great? I got, I got dreams. Sweet magic's coming for you. It's like with presidential candidates, you know, a lot of it is about the charisma, and I think that Jackie's got the charisma. And she's trying to see what sticks, which I totally understand.

And I'm down with the hot dog woman stuff. And I like the Fran Dresher stuff. I think it's fun. I like all the animal prints. It is fun. It is fun. And also, I finally realized that apparently Cardi B is actually also designing her clothes based on Fran Dresher's kind of wear.

Interesting. She also really likes Fran Dresher. And I know that like it looks just like that that's what she's doing. But she actually is. She's like Cardi B. Fy and Fran Fine. And I don't know. I don't know. That's a lot of pop culture at once that I, that it doesn't compete in my mind.

This is why I can't do page seven in terms of like, like, run page seven. Because that amount of pop culture in one intersection makes my eyeballs cross. Oh, what do you mean? To me, that's like the coolest. That's definitely the coolest thing I ever. heard in, you know, four to five days about Cardi B. I'm consistently impressed with every fact I learn about her. And the fact that she's inspired by Franceser makes me love her even more. She is a very inspiring person because she did really go from nothing to like massive.

She really did. And I love that she's having so much fun with it. But also I love it because everyone was like, Cardi B did that government shutdown video and she was like speaking in the camera. It was really awesome was very like you know it's like fuck yeah go Cardi B and the next video she did was her and her like really tight Gucci pants and she had the Gucci pants rolled down to her knees and her legs

open inside of a limo and she goes my pussy got to breathe my pussy got to breathe in these pants my pussy can't breathe and so in the next video I'm very excited for that I love her she contains multitudes you know women contain multitudes

She contains multitudes. We can be smart one second and, you know, our pussy's got to breathe the next second. Yeah, dude. I get it. Sure. Not saying that it's not smart to take down your pants. It's very smart to take down your pants. It sounds like she's very, you know, smarter than many of us.

I just feel like I'd be in a different type of world if I introduced an Instagram video that was me with my pants around my knees going, my ball's got to breathe. My ball's got to breathe. And he's just my dick and balls out. Although, I mean, we talked about this month ago. I'm obsessed with this fighter, Derek Lewis. And he has, and he's got that, one of the interviews with Joe Rogan is that he took off his pants after the fight. He's just sitting there's underpants.

He's like, my balls was hot. Yeah. Joe? Yeah. Yeah. I like it. See, that is, that's why I like, see, you can do this, Henry. Empower yourself.

You are filled with coffee. You just got so much energy. You got so much intense energy. It's a lot of coffee. coming into it. I'm booting up currently. I know. I'm sorry. I woke up at 10. I just rolled over here. You see how soft my clothes are, Molly? This is what

happens in Los Angeles. I'm wearing nothing but a athleisure, and I'm not an athlete. I'm also wearing athleisure. Well, you deserve it because you're out there every day. It's either you are in Los Angeles or you are a parent and you decide you're just never going to wear real clothes again because why

bother? I mean, honestly, though, why bother? Be comfortable. Yeah, pants. Too constrictive for somebody who's carried a baby in their body. Yeah, right. Yeah. Yeah, tell me, man.

Yeah, I know that shit is. My guts are always full of something. It's always wriggling around. I'm shitting four or five times a day. I'm sorry, Molly. No, come on. We're all carrying something we don't want to be carrying. We all should be wearing.

Yeah, man, I got guilt. Yeah, I got baggage. Yeah, yeah. Some of us do. The only pants I wear anymore are athletic leggings, because I'm definitely going no pants 2019. I mean, I think that it's, it's nice because here it's more societally acceptable to wear soft clothing.

Yeah, that does sound nice. Because everyone here is, Los Angeles is really trying to pretend like it's very chill. They pretend on the outside that it's a very relaxing, cool, like, no, it's fucking chillier, that kind of shit. But actually, it's very competitive and terrible. So I know that this is tried and true territory, Jackie, but when you wear leggings, and I'm sorry to go into, again, what is like a very well-discussed premise, but what do you do about your ass? Do you wear dresses or do you wear t-shirts? And if t-shirts, what do you do about your ass, you know? Jackie, it seems to be mostly legging. A mostly legging. Do you mean, like, how do I hide my ass? Do you? Like, when I wear, I just, I just wear leggings and teeth. shirts and I'm fine with it but people are all like oh my god put your ass away not to me but

oh my ass is out my ass is I don't give it I don't give it you got to celebrate it yeah dude my ass is getting bigger for the first time my life and in a good way congratulations thank you thank you I should start doing diameter checks is that like your geologist yeah yeah yeah yeah sir yeah circle my ass my my curvaceous mountain and I was I must go to the top of the peaks of this Mountain. Is that what geometrists do? Yeah, I don't know. Yes, that's what geologists. Geopaths. Do you, I mean, people

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shirts is abolish ice on it, which I'm very supportive, but it keeps, the way the Skype is, it looks like it just says Polish ice. Polish ice. Which I imagine is just water. That's a Polish joke there for you. We're allowed to make those jokes. We can't. Polish ice, get it? Just water. I know.

I also imagine Polish ice is just, you know, it's a group of cops just a rest of themselves. It's fun. The Polish people were horrible victims of Auschwitz and the Holocaust. Henry's been in the middle of doing the last podcast series on Auschwitz. And I also, which is weird, it was half to do it. I'm gonna'amangala, but we just got to the Auschwitz chapter of it. God. I appreciate your constant Auschwitz references now, Henry.

I find them very relevant. Yeah, it is, it's great. I started reading, I started reading mouse. Mouse. Have you read Mous? Yeah, but it's with mice. It's mice. It's a graphic novel that is about the rise of the Nazi state and the, and the, what it was like living in the ghettos, but as a mouse.

It's very upsetting. It's not cute. No, it's not cute. It's a great story. It's a really good comic series. I've heard it's wonderful. Yeah, I'm really, I'm thoroughly enjoying it. Because, you know, it's like when life is sad, you know what you do? You watch and read things that are more sad. See, I can't do it. That's where a part of it is I've jumped into another world of like trying to watch things that only make me laugh. I'm trying to do more of fun stuff. Which is why we ended up watching a lot of worse cooks in America. Oh, I watched that too, Anne Burrell. I like that show, but it's becoming more and more of just a game show with physical obstacles than a cooking show.

Because I think that Anne Burrell and what's his name, Tyler. Tyler Florence. Yeah. They're getting sick of eating the food. They must, right? Because I was reading about that with Gordon Ramsey. You talk about how many times he stopped that hotel show because he got salmonella poisoning two times. Whoa.

And he was so sick of being sick. Hotel hell? Yeah, he was like, I kept eating all this horrible shit and just, just ruining my ear. And he's like, why am I doing this? I'm a millionaire. Yeah, you don't need to. It doesn't have to.

Do you like this show, Molly? I am more of a beat Bobby Flee person myself. Oh, I can't too. Bobby Flee's got the worst editing. It is the worst editing in any food show possible. Why? What do you mean? Someone says to be like, Bobby Flay, more like Bobby needs to go back to cook at school,

cut immediately to like an audience member going, ha! Laughing like they have a. gun pointed at their head. Meanwhile, then you have like some random ass actor from like who's like number eight on super stores cast list who's just laughing. You got how many bunch? You're making these bunch steam.

You guys like, I'm going to make these buns more steamed and Bobby cuts back to a fucking audience. Like laughing like all this weird piped and laughter from the sides. My dream is to be in the audience at a beat Bobby Flay. and I just want to be drunk and I just want to scream because it's so clear that all the jokes fall so flat and yet they have to just be like

yeah! Yeah! Every time one slams Bobby the whole audience has to go oh! You don't understand that you're you will be sober. It's hours of just sitting in a holding tank and then put into a 50 degree

studio where then you weren't just essentially like, La! La! Not again! Don't you think, you could probably bring a flask into that. I got it.

If I'm going, I'm going to eat like 10 brownies and I'm going to stuff my pants with flasks and I'm going to sit there and they're going to be like, ooh, Bobby's doing dry pasta. And I'm going to be like, oh! And then it's going to cut to you. But you're just like so like your skin's moving

because you have so much edible in your system and you're just going like, I really hope that this young. Man can get his shit enough together to beat Bobby Flay. That bastard. Beat Bobby Flay. I mean, honestly, I'm always rooting against Bobby Flay. Well, yeah, that's a goal.

Yeah, that's the name of the show. That's why they do it. I've been doing the opposite of this and watching very sad things because I recently watched abducted in plain sight. Me too. Fucking the whole family. What? Fucking the whole family.

Spoiler word pauses if you haven't watched this documentary. Big spoiler. Oh my. Oh my God. Holy shit. I had to pause it. We're just like, what? I had to pause it at least four times for Jeff and I just to be like, are you fucking kidding me, dude?

The problem is that it's just so nasty. Everything else that happens that it's so fucked up, that it's so hard to talk about it because the whole center of it, it's this brutal story of the kid being sexually assaulted. It's all the terrible. But all of the stuff around it. All the stuff around it's just so fucking cocky-dukees. It's, yeah, it's wacky. And it's hard. I was,

I'm jealous you watched it with other people because I was watching it by myself and I was just like slack john at the TV. And every time Gidea would come in every once in a while to like say hi. And I'd just be like, this is fucking crazy. This is so fucked up. But like I was really alone in the experience. And I was like, yeah, like you said, Henry, it's like so, it's like devastating. But then like it's also.

It's like devastating, but it's really well done. And it's like, I do find the family, like, the parents, like, somewhat sympathetic, like, like that they were all manipulated by this person. And so it's like the range of emotions I felt. If you found out, I mean, honestly, his semi-good looking friend of you and Gideon comes over, right? And he's fucking, he's talking with you, like, he's hanging out all time and stuff. I'm like, you kind of, you're going to notice if he's flirting with you and your husband.

Because we know, like Natalie and I have met swingers in L.A. And you get that thing where they go, ha, ha, ha, where they kind of split. Or one comes and one touches your knee and the other one tries to touch the other part. Like the little subtle like, you guys should start holding hands. But what's so interesting about it to me was that like it was so like the parents were just so like repressed. And it was such a like time of like it was like they were so like we were a normal family. And we didn't talk about like what was going on or how things were feeling. And so it was like the perfect opportunity for this fucking guy because it wasn't like they were going to be like, do you think that was that guy's weird?

Because they just like weren't like that, you know? No, because he was fucking finger blasted mommy and daddy and he was perfectly built for both. And he walked into their life. And I think it's the definition of the term got got. Yeah. And the whole family got it, got it. But they really zouged over the whole religious aspect of this. And I thought that was a very interesting perspective to just be like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, no.

Well, it's true because they don't want to, they don't really want to hit the back, because a part of it is that they were. Because that's nothing to do with the, it's not an anti-Mormon thing. It's like it didn't have anything to do with the fact that they were Mormon. But the idea of the fact that they were so consumed with how the community was going to see the fact that they signed that affidavit, just so no one would know that the father. tampered with dickies. Yes. Like that's, that's where it's wrong.

Like that's, those parents should be in fucking jail. That's where I feel. I feel like that they were responsible. Like, right. Like in the culture that they were living in, which is like,

right, the particularities maybe of LDS culture, but also just like American culture at that time. It was more terrifying to them to think that it would come out that, that the husband had a homosexual relationship than it was to continue to put their daughter

at immense risk. Like how fucking fascinating. anything is that. And I'm not saying that part is sympathetic. That part's like, what the fuck is wrong with you? But they just, the parents just seemed like such, I don't mean to exonerate them because I was also like, what the fuck is wrong with you? But it just seemed like they were such like victims of something much bigger that's like kind of impossible to pinpoint. Like what the fuck was going on in your values that you were just like, yeah, I guess, I guess this seems kind of fishy, you know, but I won't do anything about it. Yeah, yeah. Like, okay, okay. I think there's a level of your

vulnerability that on some level you are culpable for like you have to say be like... That was their fault as well. You got to figure out... I truly believe that was their fault as well. You got to open your ice. Open your eyes! You remember that movie with Penelope Cruz?

Ooh. Ably lo show hooch. Ew. Don't look at you when you're saying it. She's from a spanius. The whole thing is like... Go to bring her rice. Yeah, I remember Donatella. Giovanniichi, what is it? Versace. House of Versauch.

It's on Netflix now. But I'd say, well, because you should watch a documentary and get it to it, but it's definitely, it just gets to a certain point where I feel like everybody could just be like, um, let's just, um, let me check in a little bit about the dude that's having sex with their whole family. Yeah. See, honestly, if it was, if he wasn't such a horrible person with like the underage and the marrying and all that stuff, kick the kids out of it. Honestly, the man is,

he's not a central part of the story. All the crimes out. Then like a dude that comes in and is charming enough to both seduce a wife and a husband separately. I mean, that's pretty great. I don't know. Because then you have a third.

If he was just, if this was a documentary about a swinger who had swindled a husband and a wife and to both sleeping with him, I'd be like, all right. No, go. But the fact that that was his tool to be like a horrible monster was like, it's amazing how much, how well it worked. I mean, you know, it's really depends.

If you're horny enough for Mommy and Daddy, you can get it in there. Everybody, I guess, is looking for a way out. But I don't believe so because I don't think that there's a swinger that Natalie and I could meet. That's going to snap our bomb. But what if there was? Like, if there was one that could seduce be prince or like, it would have to be.

Yeah. Anette Funicello. Really? No, she's dead. Is she alive? I think she's dead. Would it be a child? Do it for you?

No. I know. Ew, you got problems. No, I didn't mean to. We're gonna make a documentary about you. What's the fuck is mommy? Duked in Maine signs. I also have this article open up about how everyone's obsessed because people keep talking about how sexy Ted Bundy is.

We talked about it for like 25 minutes on side stories this week. Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, no, I don't care. But as I do went through this whole thing, I am. I think Netflix being a bit hypocritical here saying they're scolding people about sexualizing Ted Bunny when you actually, if you do watch that, which we talked about in Ted Series, if you watch a docu series, it is making Ted Bunny out to be like Billy the kid. It is making you sort of root for him. A rock star. Yeah, they are making it.

They are really emphasizing all of the dark CD, all like the stuff like, what a monster in the shadows, which is what last podcast kind of came out of rejecting, which is all that it's weird. Ciro killers are sexy. Yeah, I was curious to hear what you last podcast boys would think about the whole resurgence of Ted Bunny and how, yeah, was he really like a great hot genius or was he just like a monster who killed people, got away with it, but wasn't like a sexy genius? He literally should have been shot in the head as a baby. He was a waste of human life. He was like a type of person that should never have been allowed to grow up.

He was a very dangerous human being. And then he loved the microphone and all of the. cops just essentially allowed him to run the entire show because they were all just bowled over by this. He was literally not even good looking enough to be an actor. Like if you, he could not have made it in Los Angeles. Because honestly, in theory,

there's all these pictures of him side by side with George W. Bush, and he does look a lot like George W. Bush. I, and you know I want to go to Bone Town with a lot. You know what? I don't really find him that sexy. That's great, Jackie. You are just, wow. Can I give you on the key to the city?

Ketchup caviar! I'm sorry, I pulled up this article. I don't mean to immediately divert from it. What's ketchup caviar? Hines introduces ketchup caviar ahead of Valentine's Day. What is it? I'll eat it, man. See, I'm just going to, I'm also going to be hashtag brave.

I'm kind of anti-c ketchup. Oh, I thought you were going to say anti-caviar. Well, you know, I can give a fuck of my canvas. It's too soft. I like it. It's fun in the moment. But with ketchup is not, I'm not always into ketchup. I like, you know, if you're going to have ketchup with some French fries, sure.

But that's really the only time for me is appropriate to use. How about have you guys ever done it on an egg and cheese, though, or a bacon egg and cheese? Yeah, yeah. But I like it with some hot sauce. Oh, see, Jackie really likes mayonnaise. God, I love meo. She still really likes mayonnaise, and I've kind of opted a lot of mayonnaise out of my world. I think that that's probably good, but I did, just,

just take a picture the other day of me making a roll up. And Jeff took it of me with like, it was provolore. But a little bit of turkey. Yeah, I took a roll up. But in the center of it, I put a bunch of mayo, squirt a bunch of mayo in there. And as I'm eating it, just the mayo is goosher on the sides. And the look of disgust on his face, but also admiration as I lick the mayo off of my fingers. Oh, no. Oh, no.

I'm having a flashbacks. I grew up in a town where there was a, uh, uh, uh, a pizza place that made something called BLT pizza, which sounds good except that they also put mayonnaise on top of the pizza. Oh, hell yeah. This is a full on, this is a hometown meal. This is a hometown Midwestern pizza. And I have like, there was like a night.

We didn't eat, I wasn't, I wasn't high or drunk or anything. Sober is a church mouse and we like ordered a bunch of pizza from this place. And my friend was eating the BLT pizza. And he was like dripping all over his fingers and his face and he was licking it off. And he was so into it. And I was like. I still have the images like seared into my brain. I was so upset.

Well, I remember I did that for a hot period of time when there was like, this is I think what booted me off of it. Eddie used to work at this place called 99 miles to Philly. Oh, yeah. In New York, there's a Philly cheesecake restaurant, and I used to go and eat there on my lunch break sometimes.

This is when I was like, I was a big old boy. And I went in there and they got, I used to get his cheese steak sandwich, and he used to make it for me extra nice. So what he would do is... What does that mean extra jails? Right before he would put the meat on, he'd do a stripe of cheese sauce, extra cheese sauce,

you'd do a stripe of mayonnaise, and he'd do some hot sauce on the very bottom of it, and then mix the cheese steak mixture with the peppers and the onions on top of it. And man, oh man, that is just what you eat if you are doing whatever it is possible to not make it back to work. I mean, that sounds delicious. I mean, it was very delicious, but it's just like, it's a sense. like eating a cheese steak mousse a sandwich oh no we shouldn't have I haven't eaten yet I'm hungry I'm hungry too I'm so hungry I just because I remember they just eating is slapping it in my mouth and just me and holding hold him like I can't eat at this 99

miles to fill anymore because he had this thing where he said the bread was making his hands itch like he was having it's weird we were also fighting quite a bit at the time period we were working at office he thought he was allergic to the brain He was just a mess. He was a mess. And so he'd be like, uh, every time we go to the Nana' house place,

my hands ate. So we can't go in there. But the only thing he would eat his halal food. So we'd go and he would just eat his... God, that was that weird period of time when you would hold him to go and get your lunch together every day. Two years we worked in the same office. And you go and get your lunch and you guys bicker through lunch.

Scream at lunch because he could never... We could never choose who would eat where. And Holden had his specifics that he had to do. Each certain day, there were things that he had to eat and he had to eat it every week. Quip, quip the helpful brush. The more you rub, the more you gush. The more you gush, the better you feel. So brush your teeth after every meal.

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I'm just really truly getting disgusted at the idea of ketchup caviar So there's no actual caviar involved in the food items, it says. But each jar has pearls of Heinz tomato ketchup that are sure to elevate your Valentine's Day meal into a fine dining experience. It's kind of a funny idea. The pearls look just like fish eggs but red, which is how the item got its name. So what it's asking you to do is to take these pearls with like, what do you? Like, what do you put this on to make it a fine dining experience?

How I would probably do it. I mean, it's nasty. It's fucking nasty. But you could literally make, like, a funny version of a fancy meal very easily and, like, ladle it on top of, like, a hot dog hash or something. Because then it's like, because caviar does a thing work. You haven't watching Food Network. Elevate it.

You had to elevate it. But so it would pop in your mouth, like little popules. Like, that's why you like, Tomago or, like, when you put. fish eggs from sushi on something because it's a little pops of juice. It's like a gusher, a ketchup gusher. Yeah, and I don't know if I need a ketchup gusher in my life. No one needs anything.

I just really don't like these tweets when it has, like, what people have been tweeting at Heinz ketchup. I also, I was just talking about the mixture of mayo and ketchup, and someone said ketchup caviar is your best idea since mayo chup? Mayo chup is made up. All of this is made up. The tweets to them are made up. All of this is fake.

But Henry, someone says, I never needed something. more in my life. It's all fake. They wrote it in an article for whatever. This is a pop culture.com. This is all fake. They don't know. But I do understand that the concept of it. You know, and I have been eerily interested in what shows that like, I mean, I got to figure myself out as the hot Cheeto chicken sandwich from KFC.

Are you into it? I'm kind of desperately curious about it. I don't even eat meat, but I would definitely eat it. Yeah, I'm pretty curious. We were talking about this the other day. KFC's kind of lost in some of its integrity in terms of its flavor profiles. Oh, yeah? But I wonder what it would be like, I think about it sometimes.

The flaming hot Cheeto thing is real and it is now. What is going on? It's just one of those things. It entered into, it's a, people like them. They're tasty. But it's been, it's been, people have been using them as, as an elevating tool in other ingredients for a long time. I remember when I was in college, I had an information. internship with teaching theater and there was high school kids there and they said that they

liked to make scrambled eggs and crush up Flamed Hot Cheetos and put the Flaming Hot Cheetos in the scrambled eggs, which I'll be honest, sounds fantastic. But I just like, I draw the line as I went to go get a poker bowl. And they were like, do you want some flaming hot chitos and that's out of step. That's out of step. That's not what we're looking for. But all of the the polka places have it now. Interesting. And I kind of want to try it. That's interesting. Yeah, try it. Try it one time. There's certain things. It's like when Saracha was the flavor thing of the world for a while.

And then it kind of ends when it's like when Wendy's has a Saracha burger. That's when it ends. I feel like the Flamin Hot Cheetos can go with a lot of things. Like put it on a pizza, you know, put it on a chicken. But I don't think it, I don't think a pokey, like fresh fish, fresh raw fish is not what I associate it with. I'm approaching Hungraged seven o'clock. I'm just like, get me, get it, get me. I wanted to talk about the, I mean, in my hot dog ambassador world, that Mika Sudo, who is the female champion of hot dog eating, does not make as much money as Joey Chestnut.

Joey Chestnut's got the ad campaigns, though. It's like the WNBA. And I honestly think that maybe she's just not working hard for it because he earns $225,000 a year from competitions. You have got to do a lot of shit to earn $225,000 in the competitive eating. world. It is not a lucrative world. That's not just easy. That's why it's like, it's not that she's not working hard of. I just feel like she's not getting out there. She don't got the brand. She's probably not getting booked. As much as him because he's got more name recognition. But also, how do we get in contact with Joey Chestnut? I think that I literally could just go

and throw a sandwich at his window whatever fucking place he lives in and we'll go like, Hey, it's me, George Chestnut. And we go, yeah, yeah, yeah, dog it up. You are sick. You are sick. Yeah. Daniel, but, yeah,

you just have, if you can't do a say long enough, he comes out in an American flag skirt going like, hey, when in them dogs, wait him dogs at. Whoa. It sounds like he's going to motorboat me while he does this.

I won't let him. With him dogs. Oh, those are my breasts. Get out of your master. Master? Master. I want them to put the caviar in a squeeze bottle.

And then I would put the camiar in a squeeze bottle. And then I would put the. Caviar, like a ketchup or a mustard, I would put it on a hot dog. You know, I would put it on anything, but put it, put that. Make it like how when they put, you know, jam in a ketchup bottle and it was a great idea or jelly or whatever. Do it like that, but with caviar. See, I just feel like you just imagine the bleh, blah, bleh, ble, ble, ble. Well, caviar's tiny eggs.

Those are pretty big eggs. Well, yeah. The ketchup eggs, ketchup eggs, catsup. Catsup eggs. I hate catsup. Cats up. I hate cats up. Cats up.

But those cats up eggs are very big. More like salmon row probably, right? Salmon Row. I like it. Tamago. Yeah, I like the big eggs. But caviose, I like the 20 eggs too. And mostly it's just because I like anything that takes a long time to fish out of the guts out of an animal.

Yeah, but what about quail eggs? I'll eat them, but there's not enough egg. It's not enough. You see, it's different, right? Because caviar's such tiny little eggs, but I like them because you get a million in one scoop. But quail eggs, too small. Because you only get one at a time. And that's the problem.

That's not enough egg. Not enough egg. If I'm not going to have an egg with big yellow yolk, I want to be bigger egg than this. This is really good radio. This is what you wanted. This is why I'm on the show. This is what people want to know.

What kind of size eggs do you like? It's really nice because it's not Dr. Mangala. Yeah. It is the opposite of what you guys have been doing. I know we already touched briefly on Mahershal Ali and his hotness. But you guys, This is like one of the rare convergences on page seven where we all watched abducted in plain sight.

We're all watching True Detective. And I can't remember what the third one is. But, oh, the Fire Festival documentary. Oh, yeah. We watched a bunch of those Fire Festival documentaries. And now they're trying to do. But now I'm almost anti-even the coverage of them because it's like they're using it to flip Fire Festival 2

and everybody's now doing the orange tile on Instagram. I also don't like that the, now all of the air festival. agencies and the models themselves are being sued for doing. They don't know what they were doing. They just are told where to go. Their jobs are to be pert and to play in the waves. That is their job. And to not get hit by cars.

Yeah. And they could just keep to the golf cart's supposed to be in and the trailer's supposed to be in. They get spray painted. They get stead up until they're too old. And then they either get shipped off to a farm where they can, they can frolic. You know, I'm certain that's where they go. All these influencers, they're all just supposed to just post whatever people tell them to on Instagram. My favorite part of the, I only watched the Netflix one.

I didn't watch the Hulu one, but I spent most of the documentary, not given this dude, the benefit of the doubt, but being like, I'll bet he's just such an idiot who thinks he can never do anything wrong, that he wasn't even purposefully trying to defraud people. And then I got to that and I was like, oh, noops, nope, I was wrong. He definitely was a purposeful fraudy man. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, he's dead to everyone. He's getting, he's having a great time in jail. He's actually doing great in jail. He's crushing it.

But he's just like a big-shoulder dufus who's like, yeah, corporate margin profits. I can bring in millennials and seek a new target audience. And no one took it seriously. Nobody took it seriously until it started hurting rich people. That's when they started taking really. And I get it. Yeah. I know, because let's protect them.

Did you want to talk about the Shining sequel? I actually, you ever read Dr. Slate? See, I haven't. This is why I wanted to bring it up. So, Molly, the dude that created a haunting of Hillhouse, Mike, Flanagan is in the process of making the shining sequel called Dr. Sleep. And that's actually why I had this up because is it something that I should read? It is whackity, schmackety.

Like honestly, I don't even know. There is like, I'm straight up like psychic battles, psychic vampires. There's many vampires in it, like these kind of a mortal shit. It goes off the fucking reservation. It is a very, very, even for Stephen. King, it's so like pop-horrey where it's like he watched American Horror Story

and he's like, oh, I should start writing things like this where it is like, there are 50 different storylines and each one's fucking more insane than the next. So it's fun. It's like a page turner, which is what Stephen King does best. Yeah. So I'm certain it will make a great television show.

I'm sure it's going to make it. I think it's a movie that he's doing. But it doesn't really fit. Like if you read The Shining, the Shining was a whole different Stephen King. And then Stephen King, I mean, I've read pretty much every one of his books. And so now it's like, ever since he got hit by the car, shit has done changed. Well, it's because he stopped doing blocane. A little bit about stop, but he did stop doing the blocane.

And then it's also like, I just think he's like, fuck it. He's like, you're just going to do this shit. And he's like, he is obviously addicted to writing. I just don't know how I feel about you and McGregor being in it. You know, I am. And I used to want a slush all over. No, I remember because you had the. hut out of him. Oh my God, I loved you

and McGregor, and I would watch Mulan Rouge every day. It's a sequel to So is you on, is you and McGregor the grown-up little boy? Yes. Yes. But he's like a homeless dude and all this kind of shit. It's interesting. There's stuff that's interesting, but I feel I would say for you to read Dr. Sleep is good. It's fun,

but a higher brow, I think a better version of Dr. Sleep is a book called The Hollow Man by Dan Simmons. Is that like the Kevin Bacon movie? No. It is about what happens when you're... No! It's about basically, it's like a really interesting drama book about what it would really be like if you were very, very psychic. And it's like this guy who's like a homeless man that had, was in love with his wife who was also a psychic.

And when she died, like it killed something inside of him. Oh, it's psychic v psychic? Yeah. Ooh. It's cool. It's a good book. Alomane. Hell yeah.

I'm into it. But I also need, we need to just, we have to discuss because the Super Bowl is this week. What? I honestly, I didn't even fucking know. I completely didn't know. I did not know. Eddie's like, so he coming over Sunday? And I was like, I got, I'm doing all this kind of stuff.

And I was like, when do we watch this game? But I had to ask. I was like, oh, you guys just happened to get to get there? He's like, it's the Super Bowl. And I was like, I. Yeah, I used to watch the Super Bowl at Kisels house way back. the day. Yeah, because it was fun then, but now it's like on a Sunday, by that point,

I got soft pants on. Yeah, I don't want to go anywhere. I'm fucking rolling up my fucking dobies, man. I'm not saying I'm not going to make some like buffalo chicken wing dip. You need that alone in the house. That's exactly what I'm going to do. Make a seven-layer dip and eat it at home. Yeah, and Sunday nights is when

True Detective comes out. Oh, yeah, it does. Oh my God, I'm so mad that I'm all caught up. But, you know... We've been flipping between the new season of True Detective and Season 1. Interesting. It's been great. Skip season two, though. I don't even remember what happens. I just remember Taylor Kitch's short hair that I loved, but that's

literally the only thing I remember. Natalie and I's mutual hatred of season two of True Detective is what allowed me to hit on her and flirt with her during our time period. So I have to still think... Wait, what? Yeah. That's what started our like when we were talking separately,

I used our mutual hatred of True Detective for me, then I can always have an excuse to text her. That's a good... That's cute. See, and you can hate text about your detective swerve it into. So, what do your hopes and dreams? Ew. Is that your line?

Yeah, I was just like, how can I help you reinvent yourself into a bird so you can fly under the clouds? I think that that's the opposite of what you want to do. No, it's like how a Native American shaman flirts with them. What if we could see? What if I can show you how to see through the veil and meet our ancestors? I mean, I understand because I've been watching a lot of King of the Hill. So it's very John Redcorn. And I get it.

I get why she's all over that. Yeah, I get it. Yeah, look at me. Yeah, I turn into... You're just like John Redcorn. I'm just like him. Natalie shows up expecting John Redcourt sees you. Hi!

It is interesting. I'm a performer. I'm just really hoping that there's some... I really am begging somebody to revamp the puppy monkey baby. Bobby Monkey Baby Bobby Monkey Baby Remember Poppy Monkey Baby? What are you talking about?

Do you remember Poppy Monkey? Bobby Monkey Baby? From the Super Bowl commercials. She jumped into Super Bowl commercials. I was hoping we would go back. I don't know who's the even, I'm so out of touch. Who's the halftime? Ball players.

I don't know. Ball players. Maroon 5. Well, Maroon 5 is doing the halftime show. That's what she asked. Oh, I thought you meant who was playing the game. Ball players. I was like ball players.

The Bears are doing the halftime show. It's like the Arkansas Snakers and the, I believe it's the New Jersey sandals. Oh, yeah, and they got their socks on. Fashion joke. Robin Hood is an investing app that lets you buy and sell stocks, ETFs, options, and crypto's all commission free. While other brokerages charge up to $10 for every trade, Robin Hood doesn't charge any commission fees, so you can trade stocks and keep all of your profits.

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It is Faroon 5. Ferran 5. And Travis Scott. And they have decided this year that they're going to cancel, or they already have, canceled the press. conference show about the halftime show. I am so, like, I can't believe, because for me, when I think of brave artists and the people out there

that are putting it all on the line for this country, and using it. Is it Adam Levine? Yeah. Is it Adam Levine? I've been saying for a long time, and Molly, I know agree this, because I've heard you say the same thing. He's the Rosa Parks of rock and roll. I do say that. I've heard you say this.

Rock and roll. Rock and roll. That's what he plays. Nothing but pure rippin' tunes. and he stands up for what's right. And he turns his chair around, but only if he likes the voice that he hears. And he also, man, he's so humble. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I just think Maroon Five is just being like, give them the rock, man, let him, they need to, I think they should rewrite. The prison? You know, like in football, that's like a basketball. But you know what I think that they should do is I think they should rewrite the national anthem.

You're right. You're right. Those are parks. Adam Levine is like, he's like a question mark in my mind. I know what he looks like, but he's so generic, and he's so much like so many other men wearing hoodies that it's like hard for me to actually conjure up an image of it. He's really not my type. Man, we're going, we're talking about against my type this week.

Interesting. I'm glad because I'm sick of you sitting in a fucking puddle while I'm sitting in a living in a puddle. Living in a puddle like a frog. They are. Yeah, I'm right. Bobby monkey brook. I...

Bud. Hello! I just imagine that's how I sound every time you entered to the studio. I should have my lily pad. Can I read the NFL statement? Please. This is the NFL statement

about Maroon 5. Maroon 5 has been working hard on a Pepsi Super Bowl what's the L 333? 53. Maroon 5 has been working hard on a Pepsi Super Bowl 53 halftime show that will meet and exceed

the standards of this event. As it isn't about music, the artists will let their show do the talking as they prepare to take this stage this Sunday. Starting with the Pepsi Super Bowl 53 halftime show announcement, we began a cross-platform rollout of behind-the-scenes footage and content from each of the halftime performers. Instead of hosting a press conference, this social and digital media rollout will continue through Sunday across our owned and operated media assets as well as through the platforms of the artists. I don't like this. I don't want to see behind the scenes footage. No, but yes, you do.

Maybe. He just told you that you did. A social media rollout is not the same thing as a press conference. Not like they ask, I don't even understand what a press conference. It's not like they ask tough questions. But it's still not the-a-parks of Rock and Rolls, lawyers and media team has spoken. All right, they have sent it out. This is what it is.

This is the world we're living in. But let's get used to it. Get used to it. Get used to it. Talking about it like it's a, Like it's a White House press briefing. I just, but I guess it's because they're getting a lot of flack because they really,

because so many people said no to doing the halftime show because of everything that's happening with the NFL. And they're bad. And I know that they're bad. I don't know anything about the ball games, but I know it's bad or whatever, but if they just kind of stepped up in front of it or if they just chosen somebody who's maybe not Maroon 5,

someone who's like, I'd like to see, like somebody I'd be curious in seeing. It's like, it's again, it's another cold play. We're just like, I don't want to watch this. This isn't going to be fun. Who listens to Maroon 5 voluntarily? The thing is that they got some good jams on there. They are definitely the kind of, like,

their new repop. No, because you know what Maroon 5 is? Do you remember our friend Jeff Darling? Yes. I remember when Jeff Darling discovered Maroon 5 in college, he drove his wood paneled PT Cruiser, and he would blast Maroon 5 24-7, and that to me is Maroon 5.

And Maroon 5 should only legally be played out of the speakers of a limited edition. They have some fun bops. They do have some fun bobs. You're using bop now? Yeah. What's one of their fun bops? Sing it for me. There's one with the girl.

It's taking it's tall. I'm a cheesy. Too much. No, I like the new one. What is it? Oh, the girls like you can. and girls like me and we shut up

I hate it I hate it I hate it He's a less He thinks it's like He couldn't be farther From African American But Adam Levine in a way thinks that he's closer

To being African American Than Justin Temper Lake does You know what I mean? Where he thinks he's like I'm the new Motown Where Justin Timberlake is at least Maybe close Oh wait are you saying Justin Timberlake or Justin Bieber?

No I'm talking about Justin Bieber is what I don't even consider. He's doing meth now. That's what they say. You know, I've seen in a lot of blind items recently is Neil Young. Well, I mean, he's, wait, about what? He's in some weird

real, like, real estate battle with Daryl Hannah? They're married. Yeah? Yeah. Now? Yeah. Man, can you actually get those weird, slimy hands? His weird callous, old man, skeleton hands all over your pure Darylana body? I, honestly, have you seen her as of late?

She looks good. Let me see her. I don't know. I don't know. Like you and again. Like me and a baby shark. Be a spasito. Baby check. Baby check.

Dara Leana has had way too much plastic surgery. Oh, yeah. She's starting to look like a lady gremlin. She does look like a lady gremlin. You know what's actually, she looks okay. She looks okay, but it's too much plastic surgery. I mean, yeah. I mean, I think that it's a shame because you just,

such a beautiful face, but what can you do? But she's actually starting to look like un-plastic surgery, Patricia Arquette. Interesting. Yeah, but with a wider face. That's what happens. It's like we were talking about this last night about Tom Cruise, about how like, you can tell which movie, because Tom Cruise is literally booked four years in advance. Like he has all these movies rolling and rolling.

And you can tell which movies he had the work done during that in order for it to look more normal for later movies. Like, you could see that during that drug haul movie. I think it was American Made. He had just gotten the Botoxin, so he looked like a Lego head. Like his head looked like it was fucking 10 pounds. It was very broad. Very puffy.

Very puffy. He looked like an Easter Island dude. But then by Mission Impossible, he looked normal again. Did Sylvester Stallone get a lot of plastic surgery like that? Because he, I just watched Creed, and I know I'm very late. But he looked at kind of a Lego head too. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

He's had a lot of plastic surgery. But at the same time, he's not, I wonder what. they do though. They were talking about... Face is not tight. Our friend Emily Fleming was talking about how she was doing some retail work in Beverly Hills. She's a lot of movie stars coming out.

And they're like, she was talking about how like a facelift, you can fucking see it. Like, if you look at a side of a person's head that has had a facelift, that it's not front forward, like they wait with a, they positioned it for the cameras. It looks like you tucked in a sheet. And they talk about how Bert Reynolds used to have to shave behind his ears from how much they had pulled the skin up so he would literally get beard hair

behind his fucking ears. Whoa. Whoa. That's just intense, man. I mean, that's really just crazy to think about it. I mean, yeah, because what are they going to do? What are they going to do? What are they going to do?

That's why I want to start getting the tape. The people have the tape and start taping my face back. I think it was the same conversation that they had a friend that grew up in Beverly Hill, so what she would do was. put a piece of tape on her forehead. And the idea is that her mom grew up. She literally grew up as a little girl. They would put tape on her forehead.

And she would be, her mom would tell her, make sure when you talk, you don't move the tape. Oh, my God. To make sure that you don't get creases on your forehead. And so now she talks like this. Wait, who is this? This is a friend of a friend. It was like doing a thing. And it's smooth like ice.

She's in her 30s. But it's, she talks like that. And she literally can't move. And then the muscle is connecting from her. Is it too late to start this? now? She's never... When I started doing...

Does this... You would last two and a half seconds. Yes. But the thing is that you start talking like that's when you really can't make too many noises and you can't... I can't know like this! You look so scary. Do my eyebrows move?

Wait, hold on. Let me... I have the center. Okay. Jackie, you got here! Jackie! Put the gun down! It's weird.

Jackie, put the gun down. Because Henry, your eyebrows are not moving, but your temples are flaring. Ducky with the gun done Ducky Oh, Ducky! Oh, in this car! Oh, in this door!

This is obviously if you're in Austin If I'm in Austin situation. Well, I now have, I got workout veins. I have these tension veins at the side of my fucking head that are growing thicker and thicker. I'm starting to look like Christopher Maloney

without all the success. Well, I feel like if you sacrifice, like I could spend my, every ounce of my energy focusing on not creasing my eyebrows, like the space between my two eyebrows, but then I feel like the crease has just got to be redirected somewhere else. Like if I keep my upper face neutral, then it's all going to come out on the bottom, you know, and then you're getting to have a bunch of jiblets. You're getting like weird wrinkles on your breasts and stuff and weird, like your fetal curl

or some weird shit where you can't be like, how did this happen? How am I getting stress lines on my arm? Gideon, come take the baby. Gideon, come take this baby for me. I need a break. I like it because it makes you, like your lips have to go a lot more funny. Is there a way to do it that you're not actually,

like we're obviously kind of exaggerating the amount of the heat type of and everything. Because my problem is that it just kind of reveals kind of how sad my eyes look if I'm not constantly kind of flexing that muscle. Like, am I moving it? You're not. It's just the tension spots. There's no tension.

No, no. I'm trying to do during all tension. It's weird, though, because you're having, where it's bulging is that there's a vein underneath your eye that's bulging when you do it. I feel like this is bad for you. No, it's making, it's making me like it's short of breath. That is very Christopher Maloney of you. I'm scared. It really, it hurts.

It feels like a clench when I do it. Because I just so naturally, I just always want to like, I want to move and we were trained to train our face and move our faces in order to tell stories. Yeah, I think that, well, it's time. to take it back because I think we're going to start talking like this a lot more. And I think it would be really good if we just stop yelling as much. Well, you don't have to yell anymore, Jackie. Why do we always have to yell? I think the only way I can do it is I, like, I have to make a face as if someone's just

said something that really upset me and I'm dealing with it in my Midwestern way of dealing with emotions, which is just to shut down. Swallow it to short down. Just shut down. Oh my God. How is your family? It's so cold. Are they just frozen into their homes?

They're out here. They watch Freddie. They watch Freddy. So they've been. Oh, that's right. But I have all my friends are definitely posting about, you know, it sounds kind of fun. Like, I mean, it's not fun. But, you know, they're getting their snacks and their wine and their hunkering.

Yeah. You know, they get the fun, like, they get those snow days, which is fun. I will say that about that. It was like when we had Hurricane Sandy, the only, it's not nice, but their rest of the city was destroyed. But we had a fantastic week because we didn't get to us. I had a great. I watch a lot of American horror story before the lights went out. I like a collective weather experience.

Like, I love it in New York when there's a blizzard and everyone goes ape shit and goes to the grocery store and then everyone stays home and watches a bunch of shit. But it's only fun when the stakes are actually really low. Like right now in the Midwest, it's like legit like a life-threatening experience for people. People will die if they go outside. Yeah, really bad. They have these things. I was reading that they're shipping people to warming centers, which number one, I mean, again,

after doing all of us all the Oschwitz. Warming centers, what a horrible name for a place. And I just imagine them throwing them into a giant oven. But then I also imagine it being like, what is a warming center? Is it just a burning building that people hang around and just show their hands to? Maybe that's what it is? I don't know. That's very scary.

I assume it's like a gym, a high school gym situation. Is it that it just really hot? Yeah, is it a fire in there? I think it's just an indoor place that's, you know, that's not like a fire, but like it's warm. because it's indoors, you know? Because I feel like it's like they handle riot crowds, but instead of water to use hoses to shoot hot chocolate all over. Oh, that's fun.

Cute. I think that you would hurt yourself. What? But, like, my, I'm not going to hurt myself after. I'm trying to think of some sort of segue. I just want to let you guys know that you have to watch Lindsay Lohan's, the trailer for her new movie coming out, called Among the Shadows. Is this good?

No. Of course not. garbage garbage garbage and we are running out of time on our episode today but I just needed to let everyone know that she has her first movie coming out in six years

Oh yes since the canyons And she is playing the wife Of some sort of European president diplomat She's doing a lot of themes like this Where she spends a lot of times in Europe And it seems to be she's trying to validate it With all these things But I will say that it is about some sort of

vampire zombies and their eyes turn an ice cold blue before they attack. All right. It looks like really, really fun garbage. And don't worry, you don't even have to see it in the movie theater. It's coming right to your television. Oh, good. It makes me just want to watch I Know Who Killed Me, though. That makes me very, very nostalgic for I Know Who Killed Me.

Is that fun enough to watch again? Absolutely. Really? Yeah? I mean, I only saw it once, so I can't, I might regret those words. but it was pretty fucking fun. I do love her statements, though. I've been working for 28 years in Hollywood.

I know the ups and downs of being in the stars. I know the ups and downs of being in the spotlight. People judge me every second, so I disappear. Now I want to do things differently. I want to be my own boss. Is this a mixture of Christian Bales, Batman, as well as Mariah Carey? It just sounds like that. I think that that is what she is.

Raphael Adal's engaged. Who? Raphael Nadegh! Do you know who this is? Tennisman. He's a tennis man. You have to, you see, look at how excited he is. Tennisman.

Tennis man! It does say, oh no, it's his tennis star. I thought it did say it's tennis man. Thank you guys so much for joining us this week. Well, yeah, no blind items. None of that shit. Yeah, I mean, I've got the list. Who's on the list?

Marcus. Come on, guys. One more time. I have that list. It's kind of dumbness. It's 30 celebs with surprising college majors. You look disappointed in me. Well, it's mostly just because it's like they're all surprising because why did they go to school if they're going to fuck a movie stars?

Evil Angoria was for kinesiology. Carrie Underwood, mass communications. That literally means nothing. Aziz Ansari, marketing means nothing. Gabriel Union sociology means nothing. Marketing is not a surprising major. A lot of people major in marketing. A surprising would be like, you know, oceanography.

Well, that's what I thought that this list was going to be, but I never look at the list. Yeah, I'm a half the problem. My name is Jeff Goldberg, and I make taffy. My name, Biala, neuroscience, we know this. Jay Cole, communications, I remember who that is. Courtney Kardashian theater arts. She was a theater major. But why is that surprising?

Not surprising. None of this is surprising. Because she's kind of dead on the inside. Natalie Portman's psychology is the only reason why it's not surprising because I've heard it a bunch because they talk about it. I'm sad, though, because apparently the Vox Luchs, that movie, Vox Luchs. It's supposed to be good. See, I hear that it's not that good.

Oh, no. I know. Oh, no. I know, because it's, because I was like, oh, I want to see that. When's it coming out? And I looked it up, it's been out for a month and a half. Like, it's already out, in and out. Oh, Cole Spouse was on the Twin Show.

Riverdale! And who is he on Riverdale? Juggie. He's my Jugged. Henry, what are you, who is he? I don't know. Who is he? Weird.

You look at this thing. Oh. geographical information systems he didn't even really go to college. Yes, he did, he went to NYU and actually he worked the entire time. Yeah, GS, that's those maps. I had a friend who did that in college. The maps.

Oh, interesting. That is kind of surprising. He's a map. That is a lot of surprising. That is a map. That is a little surprising. Chris Martin, Greek, and Latin, whatever. It means he just wasted his time.

Rashida Jones, comparative religion. Didn't fucking, she wasn't. She was checked out. Oh, I would have definitely made out with her in college. Ooh, Will Farrell. Yeah, right. Oh, yeah. What is sports information?

Will Farrell is a ballist. He's a ballster. Now that's a surprising major. Yes, you heard me. Sports information, he said. Yeah, a program so difficult, so this is very funny. A program so difficult, so arduous

that they discontinued it eight years after I left. Those of us with sports information degrees are an elite group. We're like the Navy SEALs of USC graduates. There are very few of us, and there was a high dropout. That's legit surprising. I love Will Ferrell so much.

I'm just going to see if there's anything that is truly surprising. I do want to see that, what is it, the Sherlock and Holmes, Holmes and Watson? Not good. I know. Did you already see it? No, but it does not. It's an airplane movie. I know.

I'll definitely watch it on airplane. Yeah, so that's just, that's an overview. There was a quick list today. Yeah, I'm just going for big. It's a list. I love you guys. Thank you guys so much for joining us today. I'm so hungry.

I'm so brutally hungry. Thank you, Henry, for joining us today. Yeah, thanks, Henry. That was fun. I love you very much, Molly. And thank you guys so much for listening. I love you guys as well. Oh, my God, Neil Young kind of looks like Kathy Bates in this picture.

Yikes. Neil Young is not looking good, but at the same time, honestly, oh, God, that's a rough picture. He's kind of cute, and he's kind of cute and weird little way. He looks like, he looks like ET. Look, he's kind of good. little jolly face, you got that funny little smile. Look at that, dude. Oh, look these little teeth.

Andrew just keeps taking the clicker of the mouse and just like, he's shoving it in his mouth. Stop cleaning his teeth. Clean these teeth. Look at these gray little tombstone teeth. My name is Jackie Zabrowski. You can follow me on Instagram at Jack That Worm. My name is Molly Nuffel. Thank you, Molly. I love you guys.

And I'm going to go eat something. Yay. Legalize it. We'll talk to you guys next week. Love you, Zabrowski. Love you. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors, you can support our shows by supporting them.

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