Page 7 - Episode 289: That's Horsesome!

Episode Date: February 8, 2019

Jackie, Molly and Holden dish on Elton John, "Russian Doll" and the Superbowl. Get an extra 25% off when you keep all items in your box at http://stitchfix.com/page7. Get 15% off your first purchase at http://thirdlove.com/PAGE7 To start your free wedding website and also get $50 off your registry, go to http://zola.com/page7. Want even more hot goss? Patreon supporters get weekly bonus shows! https://www.patreon.com/page7podcast Backbay Lounge, Cheery Monday, Hep Cats, Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

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Make it stop. Clown stop. Jackie, why are you making fun of what somebody would sound like if they were a bad singer? Why are you doing this right now? You just saw Elton John. You should be inspired by his voice to be better. And instead, you got yourself tonsillitis because you're selfish. I'm selfish.

I'm selfish. I blame Elton John. I will say the jokes I made in the emergency room, they didn't think were very funny about what I had gotten at the Elton John concert. Because, man, I made a lot of jokes about, I made a lot of jokes at the nurses. They didn't appreciate it. When I went into the emergency room once with strep throat and I described my symptoms, the doctor asked me if I had been giving a lot.

of oral sex lately. I thought it was an inappropriate question, and I think I might have refused to answer. I was like, that's irrelevant. And then she gave me medicine, instead of for strep throat, she gave me medicine for gonorrhea. See, that's what I don't understand.

That was a bit of a judgey, judgy nurse. She made up her mind when she saw me. You were giving her bedroom eyes. Maybe you think that maybe it was your fault. Also, thank you, Holden McNeely, from Wizard and the Bruisers joining us today. What's up, Fote Twin-A? Welcome home.

Dude, I went to the New York City emergency room one time for a nosebleed that wouldn't stop. Oh my God. I love the story. It would bleed profusely from my face like every hour. I can't even watch Frasier anymore because I used to watch. I watched it during that time as a way to try to comfort myself and now I associate it with blood gushing my face. And I remember a couple of things about my emergency revisit. I was there for hours.

I was there for like eight hours because it's bleeding one stop and they just kept shoving shit up into my nose. Gotta be there for hours. Hurt so bad. And I remember there was an Asian gentleman next to me who was just, was just shit and blood. And he just waited way too long to go to the hospital. So he was having a whole issue all day. And they told him they were going to move him to, like, his own room. And, like, I left and then had to come back because the bleeding didn't stop.

And he was still there, like, 10 hours later. I remember also the fun man. This is very page 7. I remember also the fun man who was just screaming about his heroin addiction in the corner of the room. It was like you would write a scene about a New York emergency room and it would be exactly what had. There was a drunk guy that everyone had to hold down at one point. He was like, ah, come at me now. It was a fucking war zone.

I would never wish that upon my greatest enemy have to be a doctor at that fucking fuckhouse of an emergency room. To add a visual to it in the New York, I've been to several, but in one of the New York emergency rooms I went to, Instead of a door at the ER, they had a garbage bag taped covering the door, kind of flapping in the wind. And in duct tape letters, duct tape letters spelling out the word triage on the garbage bag. That was the door to the triage. It is as if it's like outbreak like 24-7. It is just like a complete. I don't understand.

When you see stuff like that in New York, like if you can, you. go there, if you go to like a busy post office, or if you go to like the DMV, you just go, how the hell does anything ever happen? How? How does it all not just implode on itself? People just losing their minds left it, right? Like, it just doesn't even

make any sense. I can't believe the world works. Yeah. You know? Especially in an emergency type situation, New York is the worst place to be. If you are the one that is sick surrounded by other people, you're just like, man, this sucks. It's a real hodgepodgepodge.

Everything's a nightmare. And all of the doctors are like year one. Yes. Because that's their torture. That's their like, oh, earn your stripes in the emergency room in New York City. Although because of that, I have had a number of quite hot docs, as I like to call them. Okay. So that's one upside.

Yeah, you look over some duct tape triage. Jackie, I'm so sorry that you're so sick. You're like, you're really, you had to go to the ER. You're so sick? I was, yeah, I got allergic to an antibiotic. It was like a whole thing, but you know what? It really makes you treasure not being, like when you're not as brutally ill as you were before, then you're like, you know what, this isn't so bad.

I can actually move. How quickly we forget that just being not sick is a gift. It's a gift, man. And it's just, but then I watch so much TV in that time because, like, I actually, like, Jeff had to carry me from the bed to the couch just for me to, like, move. because I kept complaining. I was like, I'm going to get bed sores. He's like, you're not going to get bed sores.

Because I know this is hard to imagine, but I'm pretty annoying when I'm really sick. No. You sound, I decided that the voice you're doing right now, it sounds like the voice I do if I'm talking about a guy who I used to hook hook up with who I hate. Like, oh, I'm a guy who thinks I'm so cool. Like, that's your voice. Wait, that's your. Wait, that's your voice for exes?

Yeah, for exes. Your voice now is my voice for exes. Oh, I'm a drummer. I'm a man. I'm a drummer. I'm such a good drummer. Mine's kind of, mine ex-girlfriend voice is pretty similar to my Jackie impression. You'd say, yeah, you can say, and be your kid.

And I'm a fuck. Oh, you're afraid. At least, you know, at least I don't sound like that right now. All I kept thinking, I put on makeup because I was like, Holden is going to have a field day with me. sounding like this. So I have to at least have makeup on. If you looked how you sounded, I would set this building on fire and sit Indian style in the middle like a Buddhist monk protest. I would. And I would take a picture of it. It would be on the new rage against the machine album. That's how bad it would be. Oh my God. Not on the new rage. I would be honored.

And they'd be like, oh, the government sucks, yo. The government sucks. You know what I mean? And everybody would be like, dated. How dare you go against my rage? I don't want to talk about rage. I want to talk about Elton fucking John, dude. Dude. Dude. I was so... I mean, it's... See, that's the thing is I was starting to come down with this and I didn't give a fuck about how bad I felt. I was like, Papa, like, Henry and I got cheemed

out of our fucking blinces. And we had... And you saw Keisha? We saw Keisha. She saw Keisha? She saw Kesha. Oh my God. At the same time as Elton Jerry? Yeah. No shit. Well, Kesha was just there to watch. Oh, Kesha was just there to watch. I got all the inside scoop, Molly.

I'm so glad. Can I say I'm so glad we're talking about Elton John and not Maroon 5. We'll get there. Let's stay on Elton John. Let's stay on Elton John for a while. We're going to do the compliment

sandwich that is talk about Alton John, go into Maroon 5, and then end with Elton John. So we can cleanse the palate. It's all Elton John. Dude, and it was so quick because Henry is sitting there because we're just so stoned.

And he's staring off and I look where he's staring. It was like, Henry, why are you just staring at Kesha? He's like, oh God. Oh God. She saw me staring at her. I was just staring at her. I was just staring off in his face. She doesn't know how stoned I am.

I was like, everyone knows how stoned we are. Everyone is as stoned as we are. We're like, I mean, I cried five times. You know what? Elton John actually cried. Really? During it. Because it's his final performance,

and also he's performed at the forum 25 times. And so during a lot of his songs, they would show him at the forum on that stage. throughout his entire career playing those songs and at one point he just he started to cry and he's like I just can't he's like it's starting to

finally hit me that this is the last time I'm playing here you must have cried so much harder once he said that oh my God and also I'm watching Kate Beck and Sale lose her mind Amanda Pete was there and she was hammered

and which also Amanda Pete She's so thin and she's so beautiful But she can pack it away And Henry almost cried When he saw Weird Al Yankovic in the audience Yeah He was just like he's so tall

Look at his hair It was like yeah I know I see his hair Henry Wait where did you get your deeds from hold Do you talk to Henry? I talked to Henry about it He gave me all the details He just pretty much said everything you just said

Yeah that's pretty great Yeah that is so fun What were the highlight songs I mean all of it. It's insane. Like, even the peace sides were fucking great. It's just I mean, LeVon is definitely one of my

favorite. I think that is my hands-down favorite, John song. And they turned it into this song that like, it was like 20 minutes long. And usually I hated jam band. But the way that they did it and then like kept bringing it back was really amazing. And just because like,

I have a lot of, like, I was going to name my first child leave on, like with my ex. and the whole thing, so I'm crying because of that. And I was like, it was a lot of tears. And then I also found out the next morning how brutally sick I was. So maybe that had something to do with it. Jackie, I'm surprised to know that you're not into jampans.

You're not a noodler. You're not into the string cheese. It's on your list of top 10 bands. Is this surprising to you with the way I talk? You know what? I'm not against a fish. It's just I'll listen to a fish, but I'm not going to see them in concert. Well, I mean, the key is, much like you at Elton John, but even though you probably didn't need it as much for that, you just have to be so inebriated on such a level.

You have to be on, like, three different things at least, and just be so on-cloud xenon in order to really be like, walk away from a fish show and be like, that was great. But if you do that, it will be great. It will be a really fun time. You just have to let go of the idea of ever leaving the arena. And the idea that it just will ethereal just be music happening at you. Yeah, that you'll like never smile ever again. You know, just give into that. And you just got to stay away from that dude, the fucking dude with Cheetos in his beard

and his fucking all like the crusty dude who's just like, oh man, in 97 they did this one. And fucking, they did a four-hour version of fucking Bird Boy. And, man. The funny thing is every scene has its snobs. I bet there's even ICP, like, juggalo snobs Where literally they're gate, there's gatekeepers in every, even the most open, like, fish, just come and feel the music And it's free, man, it's free love.

And then you get there and they'll be like, oh, you don't even know this album? Oh, you know what I mean? And it's weird, but anyways. Get off of your hole for a second. I was at a New Year's party on New Year's Day, 2017, and somebody there had, I was like, how was your New Year's? and she was like 13 weeks pregnant

and she had spent her New Year's Eve at like a midnight fish concert with her husband because her husband was a fish fan. Send him with someone else. Yes, and so she was sober and like in the part of pregnancy when you're like, don't feel that good and so, crucially sober, I just kept being like,

are you, did you decide it was okay to get a little high? Sober as a church mouse at a fish concert. Can you, is it no good with a, with being thick with child and smoking just a little bit of marijuana? Some people do, but she, you know, she opted not to, but she did have to go to the fish concert.

I would say no to that. You can't do that sober. Especially a late concert. Like, I can't even hang out at a good friend's wedding that late when I was pregnant. If it's New Year's Eve, they're playing for at least four hours.

Probably more like five or six hours. Yeah. Because they'll play through the ball drop. they'll keep it going. That's like their big night, dude. I've been to, I haven't been to actual New Year's fish, but I've been to fish during the New Year's run at Madison Square Garden because they do it there.

My brother's like a big fish head. I used to love fish in high school and college and kind of fell out of it, but I'll still go see them incredibly high and hopefully on, like I said, some other stuff. You know what I mean? You're crazy. Yeah.

And, and, and, yeah, I've been to it. It is exhausting. It is just hours of content, I guess we'll call it. It's too much. It's just too much. They are content producers. I saw what is that other one? Spaghetti Times at the Royal.

Dude, I think the spaghetti incident, right? String cheese incident. Noodles for Jesus? Yeah. String cheese incident is probably my least favorite name for a band of all time. Sounds like a band name that like a 14-year-old would come up with. It is literally the band that people.

And the people who are like, oh, you listen to Grateful Dead and Fish, well, I'm into that, like, I'm in the end shit. I'm in that, like, I'm, like, in deep with Jam Band, so I'm a string cheese fan. There's nothing wrong if you're into it. It's only if you're a snobbery about it. If you're a snobbery about it, then it's like, well, go eat a bailout. I do string. Fuck all that fish and dead and stuff. I do string cheese instant.

You're like, oh, you're one of those. Yeah, I can't bad mouth the noise band people, though, because they're everywhere. You never know when you're about to be talking to a fish person. Yeah, it's true. I always have to be like, yeah, but I can speak towards it. I've been to multiple shows. Yeah. Phil Leshen Friends.

I remember my first jam band show was Phil Lesh and Friends' 420 show in Charlotte. It was the first time I saw people just like openly selling weed in the parking lot, like, really, you know, it was like mind-blowing to me. I was like in high school, you know, my brother took me and it was like, oh, wow, you could just like be in this community. Yeah, communities are great. thing. I like all, like, I'm interested in however, communities, wherever they are, like, and they are really neat to me. Like, I love, uh, kind of getting glimpses into different religious communities and different cultural communities. And so I, I get the fish thing has, like, they have, like, a very strong community. Molly, you would love this book. I'm going to recommend it to

you right now. Okay. It's called, it's called, you don't know me, but you don't like me. And, uh, and it's literally a guy who follows around fans of both fish and insane clown posse for, like, several years and gets like way deep into the community and it's a fun and shit read and it's really interesting. That sounds really interesting. Yeah, totally speak towards what you're talking about. I loved this book because I'm kind of like I was a fishhead at one point. I'm like a low key jugolo like I am like into I really want to go to a gathering. Marcus and I always talk about going on. Holden. Holden sing ICP. What is a jugolo? I don't know. That's what it is. Well, fuck the five. No. What is a jugolo? Um, yeah.

Great, Maliko. What else? Great, Malik. We're going chicken hunting. Going chicken hunting. I know you guys love ICP so much. It is fun to like something that is so... I mean, where I come from, we ate juggalo's.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Fuck you, wicked clowns. What is it what's up to? Yeah, yeah. In my family, a snitch fix means you be fixing asleep. with the fishes. Aye, Gabba ghoul! But that's not to be confused with Stitch Fix,

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And you'll get an extra 25% off when you keep all items in your box. That's stitchfix.com slash page 7 to get started today. Suchfix.com slash page 7. I've learned to appreciate most jugglers. But, you know, when you grow up in a town that's filled with really shithead jugglers, you're like, oh, I hate jugglers so much. What were the, do you remember names? Do you remember, like, Dietz on the shithead juggalo's at all? I just remember this dude that he would only be referred to as fat boy, but if you called him fat boy slim, he would lose his fucking mind.

I was just like, don't call yourself fat boy in the late 90s, early 2000s if you're expecting to not be. called fat boy slim. That's not how it's going to fucking go, you ass hat. But also, yeah, no, we had people in our family. It was, that's a whole other thing. See, but I get it though, because, you know, guys, we've been really shitting on, we have always, we haven't shit on horse girls, but we've had our things to say about horse girls.

But I will say that I watched Free Rain Valentine's Day episode. I watched a lot on Netflix this weekend, guys. I just, I need you to know. I want to hear like the recap of the, yeah, of what you saw, like what stood out. I will say. Highlights low lights. Highlight slow lights. It free reign Valentine's Day.

The pony squad is out looking for Gamma's Maidenstone. And do they say words like, that's wholesome? And they go, oh my God, hey, amazing. Wait, I'm sorry. Can we pause for us? No, I can't. I'm just going to need a bit of a clarifying. You're going to have to just tell me a little bit about the program you're talking about

because it sounds like I need to watch it immediately. It is, I honestly don't even know if it. I thought it was very, very, very funny. But I think that Holden you might feel weird watching a bunch of like British 14-year-old girls riding around on ponies. No, that sounds legal. Right? Yeah, that's totally fine. The actual, like, description of this.

So this is a show called Free Rain, and it follows these four girls that are in the pony squad. Reality show or a fiction show? It's fiction. It's fiction. And, um... Even worse. It's the reason it would have been kind of better if it was real.

The fact that someone sat down and wrote, and you know what, I can tell. It's definitely like a weird, gross middle-aged man who wrote this show. Why do I feel like it is? For sure. Because they don't talk the way. way 14 year olds are supposed to talk whatsoever. Even 14 year old horse girls, they're still 14 year old girls, you know? Like, I think that sometimes the horse girls are portrayed in a way, yes, that that, that, that, that

adult men might think that they talk. And yes, 14 year old horse girls are a very specific type of person. And I remember them well. And I was, I was never a horse girl, but I was, I was like much less cool even than horse girls. Horse girl adjacent? I was horse girl adjacent in a sense of like, I like, I like. to pretend that I was a cat for like,

wow, wait a second, okay. Not when I was 14, but like when I was like in fourth grade, like my best friend was a horse girl. And so she'd be like, let's play horses. And I'd be like, well, I'll be a cat, you know. You'll be the cat on the farm. You're the barn cat. Yeah.

Yeah, but like we were still too old to be playing pretend that way. Like fourth grade is too old to be playing horses in the woods. I could see that. I could see that. I definitely at one point had to like hide my action figures because I was like playing with them. way too late. It was like high school or so probably. I like pulled them out. Like my mom kept trying to put them into the attic to like put them away for good and I kept pulling them out and

like playing with them and then hiding them under like my pillow. And then one time I walked to my room and they were not under my pillow. They're very confident. She shamed me. She shamed me. She took your action figures away let you play with them. Who cares? The death of imagination in the child is one of the greatest things I grapple with inside and out. That's why that movie made me cry so much. I remember being in high school and like looking at my dollhouse and being like, could I still play with it? Like, I

loved it and I had little people in there and it still was in my room, but I hadn't played with it, but I would like think about it. I'd be like, I could just sit down and play with the dollhouse. It's definitely one of those things where even as a grown adult, it's like, hey, you have to go play with this kid now. I'm like, okay, I'll go play with a kid. Cut to 30 minutes later and I'm like, half the dolls are like, hello, Mrs.

Jesus, how are you today? I'm very well, you know what I mean? Like, obviously I still just would happily play with action figure and dolls if it was like at all acceptable. I love it. Honestly, I thought it was an interesting commentary. I was watching Busy Phillips' Instagram story and her little girl was playing with dolls.

And she goes, this is my halftime show. And Busy Phillips was like, I'd kind of rather be watching her do this than watch the halftime show. And then it was just an Instagram story of her little girl just be like, and then she goes over to Mrs. Moushal's house. This is motion says, hello, dear.

And I was just all that. And I was like, honestly, yeah, I would rather watch this, too. Wait, did you, how late, did you, did you play with action figures at college, too? Hold it. I think that was the cutoff. But I think I was in middle school, maybe even, when I'm still dabbling with action figures, I think.

I think it went that deep, which is pretty bad, right? I don't know. I think that, like, middle schoolers can still play with Legos because they're like building something, you know? Yeah. Canon do, I mean, like I know they do. And so like I feel like it's, I don't know.

Well, now I'm having a full on Renaissance. I mean, all I do is play video games. I like put puzzles together and I play with Legos. We just put together the Harry Potter Hogwarts. I say you take it back, dude. Start play with action figures again. There's no shame in it. And middle schoolers, you know, the hard thing about it

is that they're like still, they've got like the understanding of older kids. and the imagination of younger kids. So I feel like we got to let them hang on to that imagination of the younger kids. It was just brutal. I just vividly still remember the moment. I was like, wait, I have to care about girls now. And like, there's lockers.

And, like, I have to, what is happening? And everybody else just seemed to immediately get it. And everyone was faking it in hindsight. But everyone just seemed to me, yeah, this is just how life is. I'm like, what? We were all just friends. Everybody in the whole room was friends. And now there's, like, clicks and it's separate.

And I'm going to go to the computer. lab, which sucked. Oh, no, wait. Did you have no friends in high school? I had friends in high school, but we hid in the computer lab. That's very defensive way of saying. I had friends. There was...

Hi, French! I'm fresh! Belillo! There was Jim Joe. Oh, yeah, I heard you talking about Jim Joe. There was Griffin. But yeah, we would just hide... We hid from the rest of the school for the most part.

We just find that spot on campus during... lunch or whatever and just like that no one would go to and just hid there. Yeah, but would you be smoking cigarettes? Oh, senior year I was because we got to leave campus for lunch senior year. So I would, my house was very close to my high school. So all my buddies and I would drive to, we would hop in the cars, go to my house, smoke cigarettes.

One time I smoked weed, that was a mistake. And yeah, it was like the cool thing or whatever. Yeah, it was super fun. and we have our microwavable lunches. My mom, by the way, I now remember this. I'm like, you're crazy. She would, like, supply my friends with microwavable lunches, like, all throughout the week. Oh, that's such a fun mom.

That's, like, so unbelievably generous in looking back on it. And I, like, every time I think back about my high school days, too, I'm just like, I was such a fucking complete toolbag. Like, I was such a dick, because, like, girls didn't like me, and it was my parents' fault somehow. Uh-huh. And I was just, like, so rude. And my parents were, like, here's a free room and board. here's like a PlayStation and a TV for Christmas

here's lunch for you and all your friends and I'm still just like go fuck you know Have you ever thought about apologizing to them? I've said something in the past before and they were like you weren't that bad so maybe it's like in my head or something I think it was more like my thoughts that I wasn't saying maybe is like kind of my life

yeah I think maybe I had leave the microwave lunches though I think one of the worst things I can remember is like My dad's like a fun, corny dad who likes to make a lot of jokes and stuff. And I remember on a couple different cases, we'd have people over for dinner. And he would like make a corny joke. And I'd just go, ha, ha, ha, ha. And just stare at him.

Such an asshole. Such a fucking prick-fuck asshole. That's why I'm afraid to have children. Ha, ha, ha. Yeah, because that's going to happen to me. They're going to be worse. They're going to be so rude. They're going to be completely unfuckable in middle school.

They're going to be humiliated by you. Yeah. They're going to be humiliated by you. humiliated by you. You're going to have to, like, ban them from the internet, because if they ever listen to anything you've ever said, they're going to be like, my dad. Oh, my dad. I mean, because you just try to find some sort of way to thwart it. I remember for a while when my mom decided there was going to be no singing at the dinner table. And Henry and I love to sing in the dinner table. But you guys did it as a weapon. It was a weapon. I want to hear this story. But then what we would do, if we weren't allowed to sing at the dinner table, then we would just speak in song lyrics. But we would. We would. We wouldn't sing them. We would just speak them instead. And it was to torture your older sister, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

But also, I mean, I think it was just, you know, because we didn't have rules like that because technically, like, we were good kids. So it's like no singing at the dinner table for your children in high school really isn't like the worst rule to have to. If that's a row down. That's the rule you need to make your mom.

I need to draw a line somewhere, you know, Like that's not. No more mirth at the dinner table. I just love that too. It's like they had to put a stop to the, to the, that's like, it's like picturesque. It's like Dickensy and like walking up to a family singing at a dinner table is like the sweetest most like precious picture of a family. And your mother forbade it. And what would you sing?

Too much fun. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What was the excuse? Oh, we would be all over the place, but I'm pretty sure that was us doing, do you hear the people? I'll sing. We're doing some sort of lay-miss thing at her and just singing it over and over.

And as we like cackled it, cackled it because we just thought it was so funny. And when we would team up together in high school, it wasn't fair because we could out talk and out loud anyone around us. We were just so obnoxious. But we were all so funny at it so no one would really stop it. Man, I would, what I wouldn't give to go back in time. If I could have like four stops on a dime machine, one of the stops, no offense, it wouldn't be the first stop, but one of the stops. I don't think it should.

Kill Hitler. Yeah. Second stop. Go to Jackie's family. Kill baby Hitler is the first stop. And then, yeah, one of the stops is definitely going to be go and watch Jackie's family in the late 90s, early 2000, sing lay miss at the dinner table. But this is the problem, right?

You kill Hitler. You go to the dinner table. Dead. deadly silent. Oh my God, all of our mirth is gone forever. All the mirth would be gone because it has some weird adverse effect on everyone everywhere. And it has something to do with our Polish heritage.

Yeah. I just read Mousse. I know what happens. I've never even heard of the Zabrowski. No one's lived in that house for 50 years. Oh my God. See, this is the problem is that so neither one of you guys. The reason why I also opened with that fucking Harry Nielsen song is speaking about coming back and going through

time, Russian doll is in my fucking head. You guys have to watch it. I got to see it, huh? Yeah, I got, I had not seen it yet. I'm in the black. I'm in, I'm in, I'm in the Versace zone right now. Oh, I always started Versace zone because Jeff hasn't watched it yet. It's so

good. I haven't started, but I want to. It's good. It's so good. Just like how the first season was O.J. Simpson, right? Yeah, that was a whole commentary on, like, being black in the 90s. This is gay in the 90s. Oh,

And this is like a whole, so it's like, yes, it's about the crime, but it's really about the whole ecosystem of that time period and, you know, and it's so well done. So good. And it's so dark and it's so fascinating. Lexington are totally hooked on it. But Russian doll, what is, what is Russian doll? Thank you. I am not, see, I will say that when I first started, I was like, this is Groundhog's Day, who gives a fuck. Like it's kind of, oh, it's like, oh, so it's eight episodes of Groundhog's Day.

Give it to the third episode. I beg you. It's much deeper and much more interesting than you think. It's like Run Lola Run? It's, uh, yeah, yeah. I honestly, I don't remember Run Lola Run enough to compare to that, but it is, but every time she comes back, that Harry Nielsen song plays again. So you hear that song over.

and over and over. I can't think of any other song besides that song. But those booties on, yeah, yeah. It's a great song, though. And the soundtrack of the show is amazing. Natasha Leone, it was the executive producer and writer along with Amy Polar and

Leslie Headland, who is also the director, and the three of them have been pitching this show in many iterations for years, and they finally got the weirdest iteration of it made. It's very, very, very. interesting. It's not what I thought it was going to be. I'm totally going to jump on it as soon as I'm done with Versace.

Natasha Leon also, obviously, is my, you know, one of my fucking inspirations. But it also is heavily based autobiographically on her addiction problems. And how every time she would be so close to death and then you do it all again. Wait, wait. She actually had addiction problems. She's been struggling with addiction her entire life. Yeah. What on? Bunch of things. Yeah. Yeah. Uppers? Yeah, I think uppers, downers, smackums.

Smack them. Leftums. You don't like her when she's on her leftums. Yeah, yeah, she's just the joke. She's just the joke. Although that would be fun to watch her like that. Yeah, yeah, for sure, for sure. Ooh, that tonsil doctor better not warm up those hands because underneath my clothes.

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and get 15% off your first purchase. That's thirdlove.com slash page 7 for 15% off today. I went to the doctor and the doctor said, No, my doctors touch it on my breasts, but they can look. Her hair is amazing. Yeah? Better than yours. For sure.

I want her hair. I want that red hair. Do you ever watch Arches to do black? A little bit of it. I couldn't really get into it personally. Same. I found it to be a little too cute, if that makes sense. I kind of felt the same way, but then I felt like something was wrong with me because, like, everyone I know loves it so much.

I know. I know. Yeah. And I like, that's the thing too, it's maybe a little more lady centricish, I guess, but I like that kind of stuff. So that's not really good issue. Yeah, you do. I'm surprised you guys did it like it. Lexi loves it.

I didn't give it that much of a chance either. I only watched the first few episodes. Yeah, but even later, well, I would catch him later though a little bit to, you know, it's kind of like, it's like that. True blood. True blood did not age well. Lexi was trying to get me into that. Well, actually, wait, did you guys start watching it? No, I want to start watching it, though.

I just think it's, come on. It's like, ooh, look how sexy we are in this sex show. I hate sex shows. It's supposed to be so sex, though. But it's so, like, not, like, now that's rampant. Why do you hate sex shows? It's just so, ooh. I don't know how to describe it.

I'm just going to make noises, but it's so just like, oh, look how sexy we are in this sexy show. I love Game of Thrones because the sex is mixed in with other stuff. How about like, do you categorize True Detective as a sex show? No. Because sex, true blood is like sex is the first layer. I see. You know what I mean?

When sex is a layer, but not the first layer, I'm down. I see. With the clown. But when it's just like, oh, this is a show where we're sexy, sexes. I'm just like, get out of here. Gotcha. I don't know why. Just get out of you with your sex.

Fuck off with your sex show. You know what I mean? See, you know, I'm. Number one sex shows. If there's sex in it, I'm totally down. Yeah, I mean, would you... Okay, so what are sex shows now? True Blood, definitely, right?

That's like the quintessential. This is a show about sex. It's just so sexy. Yeah, it's all sexy, sexy vampire. The Americans is really sexy. American's American... Is it a sex show, though, or would you just say, right? It's a show about spies, but they're all sexy.

There's a difference, right? Because I love six feet under, and that has tons of sex in it, and it's by the same people, even, is True Blood, but it just is not, it's more about death than sex so I can hang. You know, it's a good sexy show that I'm rewatching right now? You. That show is great and also very sexy but also very spooky, but also very like, how do I feel? I feel like first season of American horror story was way to, that was like a sex show, I feel like, and I was not down.

Not into that. Why? Hi, Dylan McDermott. Hubba Bubba. Yeah, it's what, you know. Like, I get logs for ladies, you know what I mean? So that's not going to do it for me. What was the woman in it?

I mean, Jessica Lang is hot as fuck. But who was that? Who was his wife in it and I forget? I believe her name was Breast. Breast. I forgot. It's Breast. Isn't it? Coddy Britton. Oh, is it? I love her. Oh, I love her too.

I love her. Why am we Friday Night Lights? Do you get a log for her? I get a fun. weird log for her because she's sort of like mothery she's like such a mother in Friday night lights but she's also really sexy it's like a weird it's a weird one yeah yep yep I know what you mean you know oh yeah yeah I think that yes I think that you've actually um joked yourself into actually having a mommy thing the way I've joked myself into actually having a daddy thing well look I think

did we talk about this even last week um there's a whole issue right now with online pornography where it is all like stepmom. Like there's two different ones. It's like high school girl, stepmom. That's it. Those are the only two types of women. It is like step sister, young girl or stepmom, and there cannot be a delineation.

She's like, why do we need, I really want to have a fun time with this video right now. But like the fact that she technically has the role of mother is like, why? Why could she just be like a slightly older woman? Or why is like a, it's so, it is one or the other. And that's actually, there's a whole issue with people like kind of around our age or a little bit younger, like 30s, early 30s. In porn, you have to wait to become a mom, like a milf. Uh-huh. Yeah.

There's a point in between teen and milf where they're having a hard time finding work. Nobody wants to sleep with somebody just in their 20s. Yes, because now porn has become online and it's all about what it's tagged as. And it needs to be very specific delineated things. It has to have a theme. Honestly, I live for a theme. I like a plot. Hot woman in her mid-20s.

Yeah, which I would totally get down to. But for some reason, it's like illegal in online porn right now. And it makes no sense to me, and I want it to change. But anyways. It's interesting, because in real life, I still feel like in general in pop culture, granted, there are many women, like, turning this around, and there are, like, so many, like, hot, you know, older, silver cougars, whatever the hell. But like, I feel like there's still the general consensus that a woman loses value as she gets more and more into the, like, the higher you are up.

It starts at 30 and then it just goes like downhill. How weird is it is? Now they regain value. In porn. Later, dude. Do you think it's translating into regular life, too? Oh, Lord no. What, it could be?

I'm excited for mom a year. See? It's like that it's like, it gives you something else to look forward to rather than just like, oh, my body. body's just going to look worse and worse. Right. Yeah. And I mean, there's so many beautiful women in their 30s and 40s and 50s and 60s right now. But like when I was in my late 20s, the thing I was most afraid of was like no, like, I feel like I had just internalized, like, women over 35, like have no cultural value.

Like nobody, like men over 35 is just they get so like, just they just get a rugged, like a baseball glove. And like people love. Even just growing this fucking beard has just turned my whole world around. Yeah. I'm treated differently. It's like getting breast implant. I'm treated differently. It's like going blonde.

You know what? Dying your hair blonde. It's just the whole world looks at me different now. Well, and it's not that women don't get hotter as they get older. I think they do, but I think that men, not all of them. I think that men, because it sometimes takes them a little while longer to figure things out, that they start figuring out how to really, like, take care of themselves and look good and, like, do accessories and take care of their beards and all that as they get older.

So it's not that women are getting less hot as they get older. They're still hot as hell, but we don't, we think of them as mom. So we're like, do I want a fucking mommy? Maybe. But like a guy is just like, did you see he got a haircut? He like put oil in his beard and it like turns into this whole like that guy in his 50s really knows how to trim his nails. I'm doing the same thing. Or even just the fact that like Lexi dragged me to my first ever pedicure like a couple years ago or like a year or so ago.

And I haven't been back since but I will for the wedding. Like they're great. It's a great way to fucking chill. Like it's a great just way to relax and wind down. after a long date. Have somebody just, like, care for your feet like that. It's very nice. And B, it's like, oh, yeah, my feet are gnarly, dude.

Like, so you called him the talons. Oh, no, that's awful. Why? It was like that's in Dumb and Dumber. Yeah. Oh, okay. Is it a Dumb and Dumber reference? No, no, she does call him the, she did call him the talons.

I was like, all right, I'll go. And it was her birthday wish. She was like, I'm going to go get a better girl for my birthday, and you have to come with me because it's like my birthday wish or whatever. Yeah. And then I got pampered and it was great. And yeah, beard oil, I actually stopped shampooing every single shower, which has been a big change for me. No poo.

No poo. I only poo when I go on a run. Yeah, I only poo about once or twice a week, but I got real short hair now. But yeah, it's great. Mm-hmm. I can't, I know you're not supposed to. I love my poo. It's going to start falling out, girl.

It's already going to start falling out. My body's falling apart. What does it matter? I want my hair to be clean Let's talk about the Super Bowl Yeah, we talked about pop culture Yeah, we're just avoiding talking about the Super Bowl That was the word with Molly

Right when I walked in Molly was like To watch Super Bowl I was like yeah I really wish I had not And then we both commiserated about just how boring I like a good game I like to see a ball fly around the field Yeah Cheer when they score every now You know at least for the Super Bowl I enjoy a good old game

This was Maroon for is the halftime was just like already a punch in the gut in terms of it not being an entertaining time. I mean, it's like they had to find something more boring than fucking Cole play. And then, yeah, the most boring conservative game and then the bad guys won again. It's just like, ugh. The bad guys won. It was a terrible game. I made what I thought was a very knowledgeable football joke. I was like, this is like a soccer game.

Thank you. Thank you for the score. the score a score joke and fucking Maroon 5 literally before they started it I was like I can't name a Maroon 5 song and everyone was like yes you can't and I was like I don't know any of them and every fucking song I was like

oh I know this fucking song but it's like it's in the background at every restaurant and grocery store and it's just on and it's just there to be wallpaper and it's so uninteresting every bit of it and you look at the other halftime shows that we've gotten to the past with Prince and Tom Petty was great

and Springsteen was great Beyonce was unbelievably great. Even Bruno Mars, Lady Gaga. Lady Gaga. Lady Gaga. Katie Perry. I don't want to jump to this too fast, but we may as well just, I mean, we're not getting to the end of the show, but let's just say that our list is the halftime shows ranked from worst to best. Oh, yeah. That's a good list.

You have to ask me. You have to ask me. Who's on the list? Ask me for the list. You got to have that list. You ask me for it. I will say that the Maroon 5 is pretty low on the list. It is at number 24 out of 26.

26, we've got Phil Collins, Christina Aguilera, Enrique Anglesias, and Tony Braxton. I don't remember that one. Everyone was saying that Phil Collins did a great job. Yeah. It is the year 2000, but I guess what the main problem was is when Disney owned ABC. So it was also Cirque de Soleil-themed,

and it like did it work. Please, Phil Collins and Cirque to Solet. Come on now. I'll watch that over Maroon 5. You just sounded like a mom for the first time ever, by the way. Surcedo Soleil, it's nice. I think it sounds nice. I don't think it sounds that bad.

We've got the Clint Black, Tanya Tucker, Travis Tritt, and the Judd's in 1994, which I think that we watched this last year. Because remember they, like, boot scooted. It was like right when, like, Cowboy was coming back into Vogue. Eaky breaky heart and all that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That was the time.

That's 24. That's Maroon 5. It's always rough, I will say. When the number one thing, because I was very sick on Sunday, so I didn't watch it as this going on, the only thing I read about anything about the game was like, he has how many tattoos? Well, I was about to say if the most interesting thing is that he took his shirt off and revealed a bunch of temporary tattoos. Like, that's the most interesting thing that happened in the entire fucking... That is not a thing.

Those are his real tattoos, though. Oh, are they real? I thought they were fake. They're all his real tattoos. And I love a shirtless man with a lot of tats, and I felt nothing. He's just that boring. I thought it was very interesting that it was a lot of, like, the, oh, he can show his nipples, but Janet Jackson can't.

Seriously. In New York, it's, you know, you can take out your boots. because they don't have like one law. You'd have to have a law for men versus law for women, so you can take out your boobs. And the opposite is true for Twitch streaming. I as a man am not really allowed to show my nipples. Really?

Yeah. They put the hammer down and said no. Men and women, keep those shirts on. I think, you know what? Because then, not that I mean, I like my fucking freedoms. But at least if no one can do it, it's the same like when I went and I started yelling at the haircut place. I wanted a trip.

And I think I was yelling on behalf of someone else as someone that used to have short hair when I would still have to pay a woman's cut when I had really short hair. And I was like, that's not fair. Yeah, that is not fair. Because it should be based on the length of the hair and how long you're in the seat.

Do you ever consider just going to like a barber, a straight up barber? I've been to a straight up barber out of necessity because I have so little time. Now when I need to get my hair cut, I just go to like the place in my neighborhood and I'm like the only woman who's ever gone in there it's old, old Brooklyn guys in there

and they're like, all right, we'll do it. Yeah, right? And I love it and you're out in like 10 minutes. 10 minutes and there's no talking. It's the best. No talking. No talking. Great.

No space. Oh, do hairdressers like talk way too much? Yeah. Yeah. Because they want to get into your emotional state and shit like that, right? I think that they must not want to either. Like I would love, like I feel, I'm sure that

hairdressers can be like, oh, I don't, it's like an emotional labor aspect of the job, but like, it's just, there, there's been hairdressers where I've had to, where I felt like I need to move on because, like, we're taught, we've just talked too much. Like, I don't want to keep talking. I know a woman who goes to a different hairdresser every single time in order to avoid ever getting past the, like, basic kind of. Building intimacy, yes. Otherwise, you have them asking about your relationships and, like, it's too much. Any place where they hand you a drink, you know what I mean? Like, I'm not here to, I'm not, We're not gab to gab here.

I just need to get the fuck out of here with some new hair. No, it's like the older Polish women in New York that I would go to and they would be like, still, still, no wedding ring. No wedding ring. They would say that every time I walked in, I was like, thanks, guys. Yeah, no wedding ring. I've got my freedom. Do you miss it?

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in the halftime show in 1997? And it's that low-ranked? I would think that would be a great show. 22. Well, it says it's... See, this sounds great. I don't know if I believe you, Vulture. You know what?

I should look through this. Eh, kind of fuck Vulture. I don't know. Dan Aykroy, John Goodman, James Belushi, Zizi Top, and James Brown. What... It sounds great. That does sound good. I suppose if he made sense.

What didn't was letting Jim Belushi sing Soul Man and Give Me Some Lovin. Yes, they let Jim Belushi sing. Yeah, he's in the Blues Brothers. And the blues brothers. It was like watching your uncle do karaoke. There were tons of girls and tiny outfits gyrating everywhere. While a marching band spelled out words on the field and pyro-technics exploded into the abyss, that sounds great.

Then Zizi top played legs while the dancers laid on their backs and showed off their legs. Even with James Brown, this halftime show needed a whole lot more of something. Anything really? Get fucked. Give me the name. Give me the name. I want the name. I want the name of this person.

I don't know if I should do that. Let's just say his first name begins with a Brian And it ends with a moylin So who else is above that Maybe that everything else was just so great It was above that Yeah what's above it? I mean everything

The who See, Shania Twain no doubt and sting I would get into it That sounds great Probably better than I probably would have hated that back in the time But in hindsight I would I'm all for that

Yep Tom Petty Paul McCartney Great Great. Tom Petty was phenomenal. Brno Mars was good. Yeah. Yeah, I ended up liking Brito Mars.

I didn't think I liked him before I had a halftime show. And then I was like, I think I like you. He at least has showmanship. For sure. You know what I mean? Like, like, because again, I think he's kind of wallpapery too musically. But like, he knows how to dance and stuff. For sure.

You know? Yes. Agreed 100%. I mean, everything else. You see, the Colplay one. Yeah, is Colplay ranked higher than those other ones because fuck. Yeah, it's number. Eight.

Fuck that. Nope. No. No, this person's a moron. If Beyonce got me number one, right? Um, no. I'm gonna say no. No.

Wait, wait, can we get, we should get, uh, guess. Yeah, guess. I think I know with a bullet. I think I know with a bullet. I think I know with a bullet. What number one is? Prince. Prince.

Okay. Fair. Prince is number one. I agree. Lady Gaga is going to be up there because this person. I think Lady Gaga had a great performance, but this person's clearly like, co-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-c-so I'm going to go with Lady Gaga number three and I'm going to go with what wait, Beyonce number two.

And then Prince number one. Yeah. What is it? Molly, is that what you're sticking with as well? I would say same Beyonce number two, Prince number one. I'm trying to think for a number three would it be, like I'm trying to think of the ones people talk about all the time. Springsteen is really good.

Yeah, I think I'll put Springsteen at number three. All right. You guys were close. We got Prince at number one, obvious. Yeah. I mean, you have to do Prince number one. Yeah. Number two is Madonna, LMFAO,

Nikki Minaj, and Sealow Green. I forgot about that far back. Yeah. Or actually, was that even that? That wasn't that long ago. I didn't think it was as good. I mean, I don't think it was better than Beyonce and Destiny's Child,

which is number three. Yeah. I think that that should have been number two for sure. Absolutely. Where's the Gog's? Gaga fucking crushed it, I thought. Dude, I thought Gaga was fucking amazing. She's number 10.

Gaga's number 10? 10? What? She was so good. Yeah, yeah. And she's also, yeah, she's behind Coldplay. Wait, also, didn't Michael Jackson do like an incredibly memorable Super Bowl halftime show? He was number nine.

What? Wow. Where's Janet Jackson and J.T? They are, I just saw it. Number seven. I don't even remember whether that was a good show, to be honest. I just remember the tit. It's weird.

I really kind of boycott it. I was just over. I was above it sports for a while. And I think I finally like up here when, you know, Ed and everybody would just be at the bar watching the games every Sunday. So that's what you did on Sunday. And I really realized like, oh, this is about just like away from a way to get together and get drunk and hang out and scream at the TV every now and again. And, you know, now I love it. But I think for a while there was like, I wasn't watching the Super Bowl.

I wasn't doing it. You know what I mean? Not even for the commercials because I always hated commercials. Well. So I'm like, the great thing about this is the fucking thing I hate. Yeah. That stops, it breaks up the TV shows I enjoy. Fuck that.

Yeah. But also, why haven't they brought back puppy monkey baby? Oh. I want puppy monkey baby. Puppy monkey baby. I watch puppy monkey baby every single fucking year. I might be the only person that does it, but I love puppy monkey baby. That was another sad sack part of the Super Bowl

Was the commercials were for you know for whatever it's worth like I enjoy Silly commercials now more so I guess because I don't have to deal with the Allentime because we have Netflix and stuff because I love where we're at now But that was not though I don't remember any it was all like trailers for stuff or like Or just robot anxiety every commercial was like how people are really worried that robots are gonna rule us all one day Uh huh I'm surprised there was me messagey I was expecting a lot of like me too like a lot of that kind of commercial last year there was like last year there was like

a budwiser commercials that was like it was like so mildly like we are okay with immigrants a hundred years ago at least by budwiser it was like i was like i don't even know what the political like but they tried to be like we are a little bit woke and there wasn't that much woke commercials which i'm frankly you know fine with i'm cool with that it's just weird when those two things intersect i'm sorry jacky i interrupted you what were she going to say no i just hate Yeah, because then it's either that or it's Dilly Dilly, what is it? Yeah, the Bud Night.

I actually audition for a Bud Night commercial. And I like didn't really know what it was because like I said, I don't really watch much TV anymore. And like they really were mad at me for not knowing what it was. What is this? Dilly Dilly? Yeah. You should probably watch.

I remember one time when I was trying to do the voiceover, get into the voiceover thing. And I met with this asshole idiot guy who, like, totally kind of gate kept me from, like, getting to get more into the voice acting thing for at least commercials. And he was like, you got to go home every day and watch, like, a half an hour to an hour of commercials. Oh, my love.

You really want to do this. I was like, oh, yeah, that's not what I ever would want to, like, I fucking hate. I'm not, like, passionate about this, you fuck. No one. Idiot, moron, yeah. Whoa, with the cursing. Why are you cursing?

Hold on it. You fuck dick. No, hold it stop! It was no bueno. Could you imagine the fucking weirdo actor that goes home and sits and just listens to commercials for like an hour a night? Just practices sounding like a genuine human being? Yeah. They are psycho.

Almost the psychos. Although I will say, great, how do you feel about the movie trailers that were dropped? Did you guys go back and watch because it got like Toy Story 4? which looks really cute. I haven't, I've been too scared to watch Toy Story 3. You have to watch it.

And the reason why, the 4 is weird because 4 is a, like they end it perfectly with 3 and there's just no reason to move to, this is like just kind of feel so much like a money grab.

So I'm curious to see if there really was a story that actually like, somebody walked in was like, I have a great idea. We have to do a new Toy Story movie because I have this amazing idea, which I don't feel like this is.

I was very excited. I think the thing I'm most excited about is the Jordan Peel Twilight Zone. Yes, that's going to be fucking awesome. Dude, I think it's going to be great. And I know that we're like now being preconditioned

to just say like everything a Jordan Peel touches turns to gold because I don't think that that is true. Because again, he's in the Toy Story 4 ad. But I think that us as well as the Twilight Zone, because have you seen all of the trailer teasers for us as well?

I feel like when I know I'm going to watch something, I saw like one of them. But when I know I'm going to watch something, I just, I try to not look at anything. It look, I mean, it looks fucking really cool. It just looks really cool. I'm really excited for it. But also, I don't know, and I know that everybody's a buzz with this right now.

I don't know how, I feel like it's too much of a like, like, I touch the clit, I don't rubby the clit. With like the scary stories to tell them the dark teasers. You know what I mean? What? What? I need help with that one. I touch the clay and I don't rub her the clip. Oh my God, the tinsolitis is the guy to her brain.

It's affected her brain. Am I going to die? Oh, yeah. Am I going to die? Oh, my God, it looks like my throat's covered in white bugs. Yeah, I've had it before. Oh, it's so gross, it's so gross. It makes you think of monsters inside me.

Ew, ew, ew, I've got bugs in my throat. I'm trying not to think about it. I actually couldn't sleep last night because I kept thinking that I had bugs in my throat. Scary stories to tell in the dark. Rub the clip, touch the clip. AKA scary stories to tell the dark based on the children's book series. I make a hard time connecting the two things. You touch the clip, you don't rub the clip because they're showing such flash in the pan things

to get you like your juices gush and where it's like, okay, you can show us a little bit more than that. Or don't. Maybe you don't do it then, you little grubsy. Just like getting us all wet. I think I understand the point you're making. I understand it and now I just wish I didn't understand it. I wish I could reverse time. I wish I could go back in time, kill Hitler, and then go visit your family at your house

and then go back and just like not have you explain. And I just not ask for the clarifying question. And just because the monster's always scarier in your mind when it doesn't exist right in front of you. And the monster was way like just, I'm sorry, I'm like this. I mean, I will say for as bad as 2019 is starting off, can you only think that the year's only going to get better? It cannot not get, I'm not going to knock on wood.

I'm going to jinx myself. It will only get better. It will definitely never get worse. Yeah. It's never going to get worse. And I think that's scary stories of tell the dark. It comes out in my birthday. month and I'm pretty excited about that but they are definitely like pushing the

Guillermo del Toro thing even though he is just a producer of oh really yeah I did not fucking know that that changes everything to me yeah I did not realize that yeah yeah yeah that's why like it's because it's definitely saying like Garamel del Toro's scary stories so wait is it an anthology series with different directors or an anthology film rather with different directors or is it one director? It's one director. I mean, I forget, I remember I looked him up. I forgot what it was. I'll look it up. Don't, don't, you don't look it up. I'm the one asking all these questions. You got tonsillitis. Don't look it up. Yeah, yeah. Take a rest.

What if they try and take them out of my neck? And then I get to eat ice cream. But I can't. That'll hurt my, see, that's the problem with tonsil. See, I called my mother. And number one, she goes, I'm going to call Henry Thomas. You can't work for a week or two. And I was like, well, that's not how this works. And number two, she said, oh my God, you have to go to the emergency room. You're going to die. I said, yes, you're correct. And then number three, she said that they were supposed to take out my tonsils when I was a kid,

but she wouldn't let them because she knew surgeries were going to get better and that she didn't want me having scars on my neck. And I was like, Mom, but Mom, now as an adult, it's not me missing school for a week. it's me going through a pretty big surgery. Why did you just let them take them out? You nasty, who cares? What do you mean? You essentially just fucking talk to the fan because the face ain't listening to my fucking doctor

when I was a kid because you didn't want to deal with how annoying I was going to be if they took out my tautils. This is like the story I heard about a friend who said that she didn't, a friend told me that she was trying to decide whether she circumcised her boys or not. And she spoke to a colleague who said she didn't circumcise her boys.

And her son, her oldest son was so self-conscious about it that when he was 18 years old, he decided to get a circumcision himself. That's crazy. Yeah. Yikes. He didn't, and because I'm like, why, you know, unnecessary, why do it? And she chose to do it because of the, she was like, people feel left out. And I was like, still though, aren't more and more boys uncircised? And apparently this kid, 18 years old, circumcision surgery, which would probably be.

be better to get done when you are a baby. Oh, yeah. Have the rabbi bite it off, right? Yeah, yeah, I don't think so. By the way, Andre Yoravridal, he has a fun name, is the director of scary stories, and I will say I do love his work,

at least one film of his work that I've seen, Troll Hunter, which is one of those great, like, throw it on Netflix, like, oh, this looks stupid, let's throw it on, and then it's one of those, like, Awesome, fun, great movies. It's like shot very handheld, very found footage style, and it's these guys hunting these trolls in this forest.

And it's funny. It's like really, it gets scary. It's like a really one of those movies that does not look like anything good, and then it turns out to be like a really great flick. So that's promising for scary stories. That is promising. I feel like the tone of troll hunter, though, is not the same as what they would maybe be going for.

It's a tricky, you know. We recently, Wizard the Bruiser, check it out. Pah, blah, blah, it's my podcast. We did an episode on goosebumps, you know? Oh, yeah. It makes you think about, like, how tricky it is to be scary for kids. Yes. And that fine line you have to walk.

Yes. To be like, and the thing with the books is that the books were, those books were interesting because they legitimately scared me. I was afraid to keep them in my house because the illustrations were so frightening. They were so scary. The stories themselves, though, Not necessarily, but it was because of those damn illustrations. Illustrations were scary.

Fear Street was scarier than goosebumps. Yes, Fear Street. We love Fear Street here on page seven. Oh, my God, there's so sexy. They would kiss against the lockers. Talk about a sex show. Those were kissing books. Yeah.

Kiss so much kissing. She just called it scary first base. Yeah, okay. See, that sounds like it's unconsensual. That's a whole other thing. I guess that's true, yeah. Scary first base. I just imagine like,

That or just like someone touching your breast and turning, like just like starting to cry because they don't know like, is this good? Is it fine? That is probably me back in the head. Are you afraid of the dark? It hits the exact right tone for scary stories for kids. Yes. Holds up so good. I went back and watched it on Halloween this year and it was so fun.

Yeah? So good. Absolutely holds up. It's Canadian as the day is long. I couldn't remember that. It's so Canadian. but yeah it like it was and I was scared I was home alone I didn't want to be home alone anymore but it's not actually scary it's like so mild but it like is just with kids it has to all be

suggested you know it's like you can't have any gore it's all just like ooh it was the clown still there like a hundred years later and it like really does it for you you know I just wonder was there something in those it's like I watched again I was like having fever trees I watched Velvet Buzz saw, which it was fine. But I think that, like, was there something in those illustrations? Why did they creep us out? Like, so much. Because we're, like, for us, like, I was reading, like, The Shining Really, Really Young. We were reading books that were very, very scary. But you're right, though, because the stories weren't that scary, what was it about them? Was it the way that they were etched almost as if they were in a hurry by someone that, like,

had to get it out before they fucking died, like that kind of thing, where it's like, I just need you to see what I see. I think that it was like the way that, like the way that I remember thinking about it as a kid is like because it was like a chapter book and there wasn't pictures,

it was all about your imagination. But then the cover of the book just gives you like one image to like hold on to, you know? So it's like, and it was like, I remember the goosebumps ones were like really colorful. And like, so I feel like it gave you this, because there was,

because it was a chapter book, like you just had the image. image on the cover and you saw it every time you picked it up and it was like so vivid. So I feel like it had like extra power for that reason. Yeah, the cover artist for that one actually did a lot of tricks to have it always be from the perspective of a child. Like it was always from like a low angle and everything was like he would make it a strong point to think about perspective and think about how a kid would see the scene, which I think

really helped. In terms of scary stories telling the dark, there's just something about that line drawing like cre- I don't know what it is that like got like the dude on the first cover of the or the woman with like the missing eye and there's just like this creepy fucking hole and it's just that like black and white

line drawing look there's just some about that that is innately like still creepy to me. Mine was always the one where the spiders were coming out of her face but it wasn't even the spiders that creep me out. It was the way her face, her like eyes and mouth were

drawn that really scary. It was like It was almost as if she was like, she was dead before this even happened, you know? Uh-huh. Yeah, everyone's like gaunt and frail. Everyone just looks really just spooky in those drawings. Yeah. Man, you know, I think I just need to get the, I still have the ones from my mom, like, because we put them in the garage.

It's like, I think I need to get, I want to have those in my life, you know? Yeah. Yeah. And I remember the her song in the back of one of them and we'd always sing it when we get to, Those are our, like, bathroom readers. We had those next to the Calvin and Hobbs always, and Garfield books. That's always at what was in Henry and I's bathroom, because Henry and I always shared a bathroom. The dumps that must have happened in there.

Ah, yeah. No, it was, it was, that bathroom had seen a lot. Could you batheem it when they were both just at their most unhealthy? Oh, my God. Oh, Jesus. We had a lot of, like, candles in there. No one of the first stories I heard you tell, right? It wasn't Henry that told it.

It was you who told, like, one of the first times that I was, like, introduced to you guys as, like, you know, together was the story about you guys in high school and how Henry would come into your room and pour milk all over himself. And I've never forgotten it. Never, ever forgotten it. King of the night. Yeah. Yeah, you would shake all the milk at me. Um, that. I just, all I can think about is, like, it's going everywhere.

And what do you do then? There's just milk all over you. Your room? No, he had so much, no, he had so much body hair, so he'd pour it slowly on his chest, so it would grab and then shake it at me while I was trying to do work. That bar, that bar right on Bushwick and Grand. It was a show there. What the hell was the name of that show?

And Jackie tells us this story about how they would be in their rooms late at night doing homework, and they were all stressed out about their hard classes, and Henry would come in and slowly pour milk all over his chest hair. I still remember it. Lord, at Legion Bar? Yes. Thank you. Yeah, I just remember when my mom found out about it,

was it upset that he was doing it, just upset that he was wasting milk. Yeah. Can't you do it with something else that's less expensive? That makes sense. No singing at the table. I just like that, though. Stop him from doing that.

He's getting shit all over my homework. I mean, just like a chilly night at the Zabrowski household. Oh, God. Could you? Oh, God. just the impugrid. That's why there's one thing as Zabrowski understands. Always have multiple bathrooms.

Yes. That's all they, it's all they ever taught us. It's like no matter where you live, have multiple bathrooms. Like you're right for multiple dumps. Well, I think that this is it. I think we've read out this episode.

I think that we're edited on a high note. Yeah. That's a good note. That's a high note. Fantastic. I am very, I'm very sorry that you had to listen to me, talk like this for the entire hour.

Yeah, you sound excellent. Yeah, you sound like an angel. Do I sound like... God Tynsillitis. I'm an angel. I'm an angel. I'm an angel. I'm an angel.

My name's Jackie. I'm here in Hollywood trying to be a big star. Trying to be a big star, yeah. Well, I'm going to go kiss a doctor and maybe he'll give me a prescription for free. Sound like Lenny from a mice and men. Brutal. I don't try to...

I'll go my boat. Robbins. Thank you guys so much. My name is Jackie Zabrowski. You can follow me on Instagram at Jack That Worm. And if you would like to check out our Patreon, where you have fun stuff on there. We've got our Riverdale's.

We are pretty little liars. It's at patreon.com slash page seven podcast. Thank you so much for joining us today. Holden McNeely. Yo, yo, 420. It's Holden McNeely here at the page seven podcast. And you can find me on Twitch.tv.tv. Holdenaders Ho.

And I do Jackie Nies Dating Sims with Jackie every Friday. And Molly, as soon as we can get you over, I want you over for that. Believe me. It would be so much fun to have you on that show. And it was great to finally get to do an episode with you, Molly. I know you're always, we're always trading.

I'm like replaced, I kind of replace you or whatever using you. So this is nice. This is wonderful. And I think we get to do it again a couple of times. Yeah, absolutely. Which I'll be happy to come back. Thank you so much, guys. Also, I'm starting to realize that I'm not saying this in a bad way,

but I think that with your fun, weird likes and dislikes, Molly and Holden, you guys are fairly similar in a lot of ways. Yeah, that's odd. That's true. I think our weird childhoods may have some, like, not similarities, but parallels. Parallels. I think parallels is good. And that's why I think this is going to get much weirder before the end of this month is over.

And I'm very excited about it. Oh, no, you'll have all those normal episodes with Henry. So, yeah, that'll even it out. Yeah, those are going to be just fine. It's just, yeah, just poor Molly as Henry and I just yak at her, yak at her, yak at her, yak at her. Thank you, Molly. Molly, anything you would like to plug?

You know, I'm on a bit of a social media lockdown right now, but it's not going to be forever. But if you have friended me on Instagram, I will unlock at some point. But I am on the low side. Nice. Good for you. Yeah, congratulations. Congratulations.

Yeah. I, yes. Should I post a picture of my tonsils? Yes. Yes. Is that gross? I'm not a Dr. Pimple Popper. No filter.

Love you guys. Thank you. We'll talk to you next week. Bye. Bye. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors. You can support our shows by supporting them.

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