Page 7 - Episode 291: The Molly Zone

Episode Date: February 21, 2019

Jackie, Molly and Holden discuss movies to cry to, business plans and spend a little time in Jamaican Anime Corner. Get 15% off you first pair at http://meundies.com/page7 For 15% off your purchase of $100 or more, go to http://modcloth.com and enter code page7 at checkout. Offer valid for one-time use only and expires 5/5/2019. Get your first refill pack free at http://getquip.com/page7 Our Patrons help bring you Page 7! For bonus content including steamy fanfiction, monthly movie nights and more, supp Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Hi, guys, it's Carolina Hidalgo from Last Podcast Network. I co-host a weekly podcast called MovieSign with the Mads with Frank Conniff and Trace Bellew, the original Mad Scientist from the hit cult TV show, Mystery Science Theater, 3,000. That's right, TV's Frank and Dr. Clayton Forrester, along with myself, spend each week discussing and thoroughly dissecting a movie we've recently seen. The premise of our show is very complicated. I hope you can pay attention. We come in once a week and talk about a movie.

Okay, I hope you could keep up with that. Past episodes included classics like Taxi Driver, The Godfather, and Sunset Boulevard, to our live show recordings of The Shining, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, and close encounters of the third kind, to newer releases like The Shape of Water, Hereditary, Get Out, and Mandy. Some we like, some we don't. We agree, we disagree, but in the end, it's all about movies and you, the viewer, and your suggestions. The viewer, no, it doesn't come through that way. It's on the radio.

It's on a podcast. A podcast, and it's free. There's no real continuity between the episodes, so click on the movie episode you'd like to hear about. Check us out on iTunes, SoundCloud, wherever you can find podcasts, or just look for us on lastpodcastnetwork.com under shows. Thanks, everyone, and enjoy the show. The car where the gin is cold and the piano's hot.

It's just a noisy hall, but there's a nightly brawl. That bounce. Yeah, I changed the word to bounce because I went to a class yesterday called All That Bounce. And we're going to talk about it. But first, I would like to please say hi. Hey, guys, my name is Jackie Zabrowski. My name is Molly Neffel and I'm in the studio with Holden.

Holden-McNeely, ding-dong, can we all just get along? My new catchphrase for this podcast. I like that. I like the can't we just all get along? As if we scream at you. We enjoy each other. Jackie was so mean to me right before this went live. This is the thing.

Nobody knows about Jackie, right? The moment the recording cuts out, the moment the stream is done, right? She pulls out a big cigar. She puts on a bald cap because she likes to refer to her as the kingpin. And she starts just parading us. She's like parades Molly's child. I say, why isn't she walking yet? Do they know only winners can walk?

She goes, take it out, take it out, until I finally pull my penis out, then she points and laughs at it for a solid five minutes or at least until I cry. And I've never felt so burdened by a woman in my life. Maybe you should think about getting a bigger penis. You ever think about that? I tried the tube. I tried the pump. And I pump and I pump and I pop and I pop and what does it do?

It turns it blue. It turns it. You got a smurf dick, you got a smurf dick. You've got a smurf dick, Holden McNeely. You can really switch it on and off. That's the thing about Jackie, you know, how she can really go from nice to terrifying in an instant. What is the meanest thing Jackie's ever said to you, Molly?

I don't think she's ever said anything even close to mean. And I think if she ever accidentally said something that even sounded mean, she would be like, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. And she would Marco Polo me and it would, yeah, I don't even think, even, and we've been real drunk together and I don't think that we've ever, I mean, maybe I've, I have, but I don't think that we've ever been not nice to each other, even for a single second. Never one, one mean word has ever come betwixt us. And yet, Holden. Yeah.

I call you many things. I call you many terrible things. Well, that's the thing too. And then when I give her my guff on a Jackenese dating sim, oh, the chat. piles on me. You know what I mean? But it's like, you have to understand, just look at Henry for a little bit, even on a good day, even when he's smiling and he's happy,

and you can see it deep in his eyes, the fear, the terror, the memories of just pure torture and hell that have been, having Jackie as a younger sister, I couldn't imagine. Could you, I know he probably tries, I think, he told me he does a weekly meditation

where he sits and he tries to remember the days, the years before she was birthed, and just goes, because that's how he goes into his heaven place, he calls it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but then he just thinks about me just coming up behind him, just slapping him in the back of the head.

Man, how many times would I just, and I would just send him down the river. I would do horrible things, like, he did it. And my mom would just believe me because I was a little, I was a demon child. I was like the orphan. I never saw the orphan, but I imagine that's what it was like. Actually, are you talking about the,

well, can I talk about the twist and the orphan? Yeah, sure. I know there's a twist. I know what the twist is. You don't know what the twist is? I don't know what the twist is. She's got some, she's a twist. actually a 30-year-old woman with a disease that makes her look like she's a little girl.

What? And so it's like, that's the twist? Yeah, they get a phone call. It's like, we got the test results in. She's 30 years old. And they're like, ah! That's like, are you afraid of the dark twist? That's great.

I'm so happy in this moment that I got to tell you guys that twist. It's the greatest thing ever. That is scary of thinking about, I think just the idea of the fact that this is a full-grown woman that doesn't have to be a full-grown woman, that's just scary in itself. It was a girl, right? Yes, it was a girl. A little, looked like a little girl,

and she had, like, St. Swithin's disease or something that makes her fucking look like that she's 30. What if that's what I have? Maybe I'm actually, like, 95 years old. Well, you sound like one. Like Jack, the movie Jack with Robin Williams. Like Jack. What are the best old person?

Child movies and child old person. There's definitely several of them. Benjamin Button. Jack. I never saw Benjamin Button. That's not one you should revisit, right? It's such a fucking Oscar movie, which I'm glad you brought this up. By the way, because I kind of want to talk about the gnoms today if we have time.

We can talk about the knobs. Wait, wait, what's the, you mean Vietnam? No, the Oswald. Well, kind of. Our nom. Our personal Vietnam. Our personal nom. Oh, Oscar Noms.

Which is the Oscar Noms. Vietnam. I don't know what other other kind of noms, but let's really get into NOM today. All right. Yeah, let's talk about it. Let's talk about how. muddy it was. Remember, it was always raining, at least according to Farras Cump. Upside down, rain and sideways, rain, and rain didn't look like

Jenny. And then Cheney's just fucking banging some dude in a hotel room and shit. I loved that movie. I cut it off halfway through, though. Don't know the end. Good for you. Who needs to look at Haley Joel Osmond's tiny face on his big kid head? You know what's another good old, but this is a sad one. You ever see the documentary according to Sam on HBO about Prageria? You've talked about this on the show and you were like,

you told me not to watch it because you protect me from things. It's, it's, it's, I just remember I'll never forget watching according to Sam with Henry and it's about progeria which rapidly ages them. It's like the actual disease of it.

And it was just, and in the end of it, spoiler alert, Sam is dead before the documentary comes out. Yeah. And Henry and I are just like, uh, oh, God.

He was so positive. He was such a positive life force. That's just such a generic, sentimental documentary name. It just sounds like every documentary name ever. That's why I laughed at first. It's very, very sad. Also very sad. They're starting to release all these Pixar shorts

because I guess they're doing some sort of like Disney thing on YouTube and that you guys have to watch Kit Bull. It's a new short that just came out. It's eight minutes long and I just cried through most of it. It's about a little kitty and a puppy who's used as a fighting dog and they become friends. Oh, no. I don't have the reserves for that. I don't think.

That's like that fucking montage from Up. Like neither getting her I can talk about it. Sometimes I just watch that montage just separately. Really? Just so I can feel, just I can remember what it is to feel. Yeah, I really feel like that Up is a good movie as a whole. but that montage, like that really is its own movie, you know. My definite, like, oh, you have to, like, cry for a movie, so I'll be like, okay, put this scene in, in the background and I'll cry on set, like absolutely immediately, is the end of Iron Giant gets me every time.

Oh, my God, so good. It's so good. Have you seen it, Molly? I haven't seen Iron Giant. Molly, do yourself a favor. It's on Netflix. Okay. It is one of my favorite animation films of all time.

It is so unassuming. It is unbelievably good. And we did an episode about it on Wizard and the Bruiser, my podcast. Wizard and the Bruiser on the last podcast network, which is delightful. I've disclosed this on this show before, but my go-to, like, if I'm pent up and I know it's because I need to cry, I will pour myself as single gin and tonic. And I will watch the episode of The Simpsons where Lisa falls in love with Mr. Berksdstrom. Yes, Mr. Burkstrom episode.

I dated a girl actually had a Mr. Berkstrom, I want to get a Mr. Eber Extreme tattoo. And actually to the listener who sent me a pin that says you are Lisa Simpson, which is the tattoo I want to get. Oh, that's amazing. That's amazing. Yeah, it was an amazing gift. And now, and I still, I've discussed on the show,

I don't know whether the tattoo should say, you are Lisa Simpson or you are Molly Neffel, but I think it should say you are Lisa Simpson. But I have the pin now and it's like perfect and I love it. That's so awesome. Yeah. That's great. I'm glad that I'm not the only one so moved by that episode, though.

Well, I actually, for that accord, I'll bring it out every now and again for Jackanese. Are you already crying? I have. I left and I went to and it's sideway, and it's upside down right. Jenny, I know what love is, okay? I may be thick, thick up here, but I have. You can't say thick, thick, Soft, soft down here.

You can't say big. I do still say, I may not be smart, but I know what love is. I think at least five times a week. I say it during sex at least four times every sexual session I have. Good for you. I can't believe Lexi loves you. You do. I always wake up every day.

I'm just like, I can't believe it. But anyway, what I was going to say before I got choked up and turned in a forest gun. Was that I have a funco pop of Bing Bong from Inside Out. Oh my God. And Molly, you're looking at me like maybe you haven't seen this movie yet. The reason I haven't seen Inside Out is because I'm terrified. You should be. You should be.

Be actually more scared of Coco. Uh-huh, yeah. Actually, I didn't think a movie was going to get me more than Inside Out, but Coco what is torture? That's what I did. It was like actually painful. Did I, have I already like confess this on here? I shut Coco off.

Wait, because it was too much or because you weren't enjoying it? I just, maybe it's because an ex was a guitar player? I don't know. Maybe. It was very much like, I was just like, who cares? Why don't you get on your guitar? I don't know why. And I love to cry.

I love sad movies, and I shut it off. You had built up an emotional wall around that movie. Yeah, I think so. And I think maybe when you're ready for it, Because this is the thing. You got to understand. There's definitely moments throughout that make you tear up.

But you got to get to that. You got to get to that. Finals. The end. I should do it. Oh, yeah. All right, I'll do it. Yeah.

But I'm, like, terrified of inside out. The first time somebody was like, it's helping children understand and process their feelings. Like, I can't even say that sentence without cry. The worst, the worst years of my life, it's literally like a little girl being like, it's like, it's perfectly encapsulates the horrible,

torture I went through that was like I thought we were all just playing on the playground and now you guys like I have to worry about like other stuff like girls and stuff and there's like a lot and there's a dance it's a lot I thought we were all just friends and now we're clicked out and everybody's like weird with each other because I don't play sports we can't

fucking hang out anymore I'm gonna start smoking cigarette oh don't hold in I'm gonna smoke a don't hold in the Bing Bing Bong still gets me every time I think about it but also what upsets me is that on Pixar pier out here

in California Adventure, they have a Bing Bong's candy shop and I was like, why are you selling his tears? You're selling his tears, you're making money off of his tears. You were that person that day. Screaming. Screaming outside of the candy shop.

Their tears, children. Don't buy them. Grabbing small children shaking them. They're just like crying. These children just ruining their lives. You're like large Marge or whatever, fucking destroying their lives. Yeah, that's what I like to do with kids. Destroy their lives.

Think about real life for a second. Stop living in fantasy land. There you go. I'm fine. I'm fine. Everything's fine, especially because I want to talk about all that bounce. What?

And all that bounce! I made so many jokes about a class called All That Bounce that is a trampoline class. Oh, my God. And I joked, and I joked, and I joked. I was like, I'm going to sing, I'm going to sing Chicago the entire time, I'm going to call myself Mr. Jacafane, and I was going to do all the, I had all these bits planned, but turns out it was just a horrifying class where you just have to like, bounce and bounce and bounce, and you do all these moves on the thing.

They're like, but I was stoned out of my cord, and I'm just like, I'm going to die on a trampoline. I want to bounce. That's the workout I want to do. I want a fun bounce workout. They probably have that in New York City, probably. I'm sure. some Williamsburg piece of shit created a fucking bounce room with their parents trust my buddy.

I'm gonna go ahead and guess since there's an adult daycare where adults want... Is that still open? I remember that? Where you could go and just act like a fucking child, like a child? Yeah.

With a bunch of grown adults? Yeah. Do they have that? Yes. A lot of us have a problem. I think a lot of people our age, you know, haven't really psychologically dealt with the fact that we are now adults

and so we want to like play on giant pieces. I like how sensitive you're being towards this. We're working through it. But I like fun. Like I like, I don't want to do like CrossFit, but I want to go to a gym that's like, like, call me one of the. I don't want to go to an adult daycare, but I do want to go to a gym that's like a, you remember like Discovery Zone? Yes. I loved that.

Adult-sized discovery. Without the piss in the ball pit. Without the piss in the ball pit. Yeah, I always talked about, but this horrible idea. I was like young 20-year-old, like if I had a trust fund, I would have wasted a business on this idea. I would have thrown all this money at it

and it would have immediately failed, but a bounce house like that, but it's a bar. I talk about that too. We're going to go into business together. You immediately, the liability, the liability issues, the fact that you will definitely be pissing

that fucking bomb. It's going to be like. No, it's still a good idea. I think it's a great idea. There's David, it would be like, my pitch, my elevator pitch. Okay. It was David Busters.

We're in an elevator right now. Hi, I am entrepreneur of business, Holda McNeely. I have mini hotels. So I've got a million dollar idea, especially for millennials. Sure. David Busters. But instead of an arcade, it's a discovery zone. Okay.

So it's a bar. It's a restaurant. It's like a chucky cheese, but for grown-up. But there's a lot of physical activity going on alongside this bar. We're talking about like slides and jumping in ballpits and things like that. It's like a chucky cheese meets Dave and Buster. I mean, I can see how I can see the draw, but at the same. time, I'm horribly worried about, like, the lot of children.

Well, it's just like, even remember when we used to get hammered at Coney Island, when we would do shows at the freak show, and then we would go ride on, like, the bumper car and stuff like that, I would wake up with lacerations on my body from having too much fun as you're, like, slam into each other, and you're, like, standing up in the, like, bumper car, you're like, I'm going to get you, you, you're like, falling out of the bumper cars, because they don't give a fuck, but please continue. I don't know where that, how that bird flew into this elevator. started screaming human words at us, but I shoot the bird away.

And now we're back. We get a really great in-house lawyer, and it's a whole waiver that they have to, before they can come into the bar, they sign away all their rights to sue us about absolutely anything. And maybe we have like a, you have to wear a diaper to enter, stuff like that. Ooh, that's a really good idea. A padding and stuff like that, right? I can see that.

There could be lockers, like at Spot Castle, where you lock up all your belongings And then also like at Spock Castle, you could get a little bracelet where you scan things. So that way you don't have to worry about your bags. Like Fire Fest. Yes, like Fire Fest. It worked great. Like there would.

I was involved. I invested in Fire Fest. I felt very good about mine. So you're a great person for me to be talking to. And so this way you don't have to because, you know, you're not going to go into the ball pit if you're worried about your bag. We all hate leaving our bag at the bar. Got to have a locker.

You're right. So you got to have the lockers. You got to put on the diaper. And I think that that, honestly, the liability form, the waiver and the diaper solves like all of our problems. I think that sounds good. Maybe have a DJ in the corner. A DJ in the corner.

And perhaps a couple of medics in house. Please. Several medics because there will be at least one dead person a week in this establishment. Me, undies, you're all I want when I'm lying here in my bed. My groins are smiling and knowing there in heaven. Is your underwear making you? you happy. Let's be real. We gotta take control of our own happiness, because I ain't nobody

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My groins are smiling and knowing they're in heaven, and yours should too. I would like to include what I want in my real. One day I would like to have like the jerk dumb money, where I'd like to take, like get a bunch of like many floored mansions, but then all of the stairs are taken out and slides are put in. So if you want to go downstairs, you can take a slide down, but if you want to go up the stairs, you have to climb up the slide, which is very difficult as an adult to do. But maybe we have that from bar to bar inside of this zone. What is it called?

Oh, that's a good idea. The Molly zone. Yeah, is it the Molly zone? It doesn't have to be the Molly zone. That sounds like a drug show. Yeah, yeah, you. Everybody's touching and everybody's kissing. 90s nostalgia is really big right now,

so I don't know if this would present some copyright issues, but I feel like Discovery Zone is a great name for a bar. Discovery Zone is a good name for a bar. How about this just to kind of show we're like mingling and singling, touch-touch place. Oh, that is good. That's just one of the rooms. It's just a pitch black room, okay?

Yes. And you have to be 30 and up to enter the touch trust show. You don't want people, anyone underneath 30, it's like, no, no, this is adult touching. And you have to have a credit on at least one pornographic film. And you have to have at least five figures in the bank. So that's a, it's a very exclusive room. Jackie, what you're describing to me in your mansion sounds a little bit like the game shoots and ladders. And it's making me think of, you know, how a progressive is fun where you go from bar to bar to bar.

It could just be like, this is even wilder than our original idea. But it could be like a, you know, a big, it would have to be a multi, like a 10-story building. Okay. And it would be a progressive, it would be like an in-building progressive where you went from, there was different bars in every room and you would get to them by doing fun stuff

like a slide or like a fire pole. Right. And even like a rope, you know. Or like an escape room. And then you could go to different, yeah, an escape room and, you know, a ladder. And you could go to different. bars like that and so it's kind of like a playground bar but then what you're

introducing is like different you know like shoots and ladders where you slide down from the top all the way oh now I'm on the first floor it could be a game and this and of course the only problem this is the massive liability that you would run into when you can find hard drinking with obstacle courses what is happening right now see because it would be fun to have a whole floor because we thought about this when remember when we Holden and I joined Henry for his birthday when he did an escape room

and it was like aliens were on board the ship. I had a blast. Like in space and you have to get out of the thing. But what if it was a whole floor they needed to go from escape room to escape room but also if you think about it this is great for the liability because you would have to not drink

while you're trying to get out of the escape room to get from bar to bar. You can only celebrate while you're in the bar once they call you into the escape room you have to put the drinks away inside the escape room, it will be fully hot-boxed. So you will be getting immensely high. No, no, I mean, it'll just be weeds, just plumes,

they'll pipe it through the fits. We have to be prepared for people to flask it, though. Yeah, oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Well, pat them down. Everyone has to be naked. Pat them down. Make it in a diaper.

Yeah, they get into a rubber diaper. Okay, get this. We get them into a rubber diaper. They walk into a room and it's full of like these little children's toys, right? And they're all grown-ass adults, and they just start playing. with blocks and shitting their pants. It's a slippery slope Williamsburg, okay?

Because the moment, the moment you have these grown adults acting like children, you know what comes next? Diaper play. And you know who suffers? The poor person that fell in love with that person that decided they're into diaper play now because of your fucking Williamsburg daycare, okay? It's not healthy, Williamsburg, all right?

The scourge that hit Williamsburg. Adult daycare centers. See, I also want a lot more. swings involved. I love a swing. If I see a swing, I'll get on a swing. I've definitely been kicked out of playgrounds before because it's like, oh, you can't, you know, pederasty, you can't be in the playground without a kid.

But you know what? I'm a kid on the inside, and I like a swing. Go ahead, kick me out. And my PD comes in and they're like, um, pederast. Petterasty, sorry, I will leave. At the open word I need to hear. Yes, sir, I hear you loud and clear. I am very, very sorry. Please don't put me on the list. I just like the swings.

Swings, I appreciate that everyone else likes the swings, but even since I was a kid, swings make me nauseous. So I can't go on the swings. But I do like all the other, you know, a slide, a little cargo net that you can climb up. Seesaw. Seesaw. I can do a seesaw. Yeah, but have you been on a seesaw as an adult?

Really hurts your ass. Hurts the ass and the knees, I bet. Yeah. Yeah, I can't go down all the way. Yeah. That's the thing, too, because I feel like it would also be good if we got some very smart architect to come in and design stuff specifically for, like, human. adult joints.

Yeah. Adult muscle, you know what I mean? Muscle degradation. Right. You know what I mean? Yeah. Oh yeah. Especially like American couch sitting, you know, that body, right?

But part of the things, so one of the things, so here's another part of the business. It could be by day, it could be no booze allowed, right, until 5 o'clock. And it's just a gym. And you have a membership and you come in and then you can just play. And yes, it sounds a little bit like daycare, but it's just unstructured. play. Wait, do we get juice boxes and snacks? Like, is that part of it? Because I'll throw down for that. But we're going to

need, like, way bigger size Capri Sons for adults. We need, like, adult Capri Sons. Yeah. That alcoholic. And then, and so you can just play. And so that, so part of it is that you're actually building up your muscles because you're climbing up the slide, which is a great for your

quads and stuff. You haven't done it since you were eight years old. And then starting at five, there's like a happy hour and then you can start drinking and playing. But I think that... Drink and play. Drink and play, which is a great. Great name. That's the name of the bar.

It could be. Just drink and play. Just drink and play. Just come on. Just drink and play. Oh, no. Someone threw up all over all of it again. Oh, man.

Yeah, that's why you just have a bunch of hoses. You bleach everything down every night. It'll be great. I thought the diapers had solved our problem, but I forgot about puke. Oh, yeah. That's the biggest one. What if we only, this is going to be a very controversial statement, but what if we only served beer and wine.

No. People are going to ask it. You know, my immediate thought was like, oh, it should be a teaky bar. So the opposite of that. You know what I mean? Because if it's going to be drinking playing, it's going to be over the top and bright and colorful. You want your drinks to be bright and colorful. I think that's right. Yeah, people want fruity drinks. At the same time, maybe there's just like,

there's like, the bartender at one point goes, you're done in that playroom. You have to go to this like other playroom. Because you kind of, I can tell you've reached a certain point. And that's when he gets shoved and do it. escape room and you have to figure it all out for you to get to the next bar. To get back to it. I was just going to say it's a room that's like way more covered in like rubber

supports. You know, there are hoses, you have to accept there might be it's just one of those. It's just the rubber vomit room. Right. It's like a rubber. It's like it's like, it's just this room covered in vomit. So there'd be an incentive to not get too drunk. It's called the shame room. And there's glass windows and you can see people. There's no

or anything in it to play with. It's just covered it, vomit. It's the timeout room, honestly. It's a timeout room. It's really cold in there. It's very upsetting. It's so cold. There's nowhere to sit.

It's just like, on the audio, there's piped in from speakers. It's just this really boring guy reading, like, crime and punishment. It's shaped like a corner so that no matter where you are, you're in the corner. You're in the corner. Ooh, yeah, I love that. The corner. Go to the corner. I like that.

I think that the shame will keep people from getting men to drunk. Right. There you go. Yeah, I think that's right. Because then you have the, yeah, you have the built-in incentive. You know, this isn't a place where you want to come and puke. Streaks of vomit. The only problem, too, though, is there's windows going into the room.

You're just sitting there drinking, watching people in diapers. Fins. All over the floor. They're locked in. They don't have. it close. Every now and again a medieval court jester comes in and just fucks with them.

Oh, look at the shame. Oh, are they the saddest adults I've ever seen? Okay, new idea. New idea. Scrap the playground part of this whole idea. It is a bar sitting around. Shaming people.

It's just sitting around. It's just, it's for depressive, it's types, it's for people. It's for, you know, massacus. I mean, yeah, the shame room could exist at any bar. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And you know what? Idiot, idiot morons would still go.

That's the funny thing. Moron, if we made it exclusive enough and put it in Brooklyn fucking vegan or whatever, moron stoop, stupits, who did the, we should put it right next to the adult daycare because they'll be like, oh, another good idea. I think it's great. Make it a whole complex. I think that the shame room should be still a part of the playground. You need the dichotomy.

You know, you need the fun before the shame. I mean, I do personally. Totally. Yeah, oh, yeah, you got to be drunk enough to, like, endure the shame, too. Yeah, I'm not going to that room if I'm not too drunk to remember it. Oh, yeah. I feel like it would also be fun, though. I feel like in this, there should be like, you know, the baby bumpy things that you put the baby in

and they go like, gaga, go. I'm bumping. up and down on my ass right now right and see this but you know like one of those things where that should be all and rather than bar stools you're put into one of those suspension chairs a little bouncy barely have to stand or work your body but you can still um like hump and gyre a little a little jumparoo is what it's called jumparoo jumparoo yeah see i can't support it again me is this again just this arrested development uh regression issue that i can't hand get around and handle to be I don't have much less excited about the jump-roo idea.

You don't like jump-oos? No, because that's not that fun. I'm talking about a giant playground. That's fun as hell. Yeah. I don't want to go back to being a little baby. And I don't even want to go back to being a child. I do want to play on a large, I want to jump in a ball pit.

I want to go down a big slide. Yeah. But I don't want to be a baby, and I don't want to be a kid. I want to be an adult. You know, every now and again, I wake up and just like, God, I'd love to just be a fucking big old baby right now. Baby. I never think that. I don't really want to be, I don't want to wear diapers just because, like, I can't.

It's too, honestly, think of how heavy they would get with our myths. Oh, yeah, dude. Being a baby, they don't, it looks so hard. They don't have any control over anything in their life, you know. And so I feel like we all think it must be so. People say that about kids, too. People are always like, oh, so what do you have to complain about so easy being a kid. Kids can't control when they get to go to the bathroom throughout the day.

They don't get to control when they drink water usually. Like, they don't get to control what they eat. And you keep the water from them, too. You do not have this today unless you stop crying. You're crying. I mean, like at school, remember, I feel like adults don't remember that you have to be like, Can I have water? Right.

You know, like, yeah, can I go to the bathroom? No. That's crazy that we make kids deal with that. That's a weird shame system that we build up very, very young because I remember being too scared to ask to go to the bathroom because I was a very shy kid. And I was scared of asking in front of other kids that I had to go to the bathroom. and then I just remember, like, after school, and I just be like, I have to go to the bathroom.

And my house was like, why didn't you go in school? And it's such a weird shame thing that it's like, that shouldn't be. But I know that you never keep them in their seats, and you have to have some sort of order. But that was something that plagued me. I actually haven't thought about that in a very long time. This is all kind of coming up right now. Are you having, are you getting emotional?

Oh, my God. I got to go to the bathroom. Are you becoming Forrest Gump? Are you becoming Forrest Gump right now? I don't. I may not be smart, but I know what love is. All right, fine, you can go to the bathroom. You don't have to do the monologue every time.

I think you're right. I think it took a really long time for me to get over being poop shy in public. I would only like poop in my home toilet for the longest time. A lot of adults are still that way. And it took a while for me to finally. You know what's funny? I read us, and I think a lot of that, it's less to do with asking the teacher and more I think anxiety from being a little kid having to poop in a bathroom

and other little kids like coming into the bathroom. Yeah, because you're never alone. Yeah, and it's terrifying. You don't know what those kids are going to do. I have a memory too one time I was, I've told this story before I think where a kid peeed in my eye. And I had, and no one believed, yeah. He was like, I was at the sink washing my hands.

He was like, hey, look. And I turned around and he like, I'm sure this can't be the actual what happened. I don't know, though. But I turned around. Sounds like we've discovered something in your child. He was putting in the urinal. He turned around and just popped me right in the eye with his pee stream. Wow.

And no one believed me, but I had this, like, fucking pulsing, like, vainy red eye. You know what I mean? Like, something happened. They're like, that didn't happen because it sounds implausible, right? Wow. So I think I had a lot of public bathroom anxiety for a long time until I actually read a story. I read a story on Reddit where this guy talked about how he actually on purpose would like, if someone came in, he was like in his office bathroom. If someone came in, he would like make it a point to fart hard or like make a really, you know, a big noise.

and, like, he thought it was hilarious. And I was like, that is kind of funny. Why am I so scared of other people hearing me poop? Who gives a shit? Nobody cares. Yeah, everybody fucking shit. But, like, what you just described is, like, if that happened to you as an adult, like, if an adult man did that, it would be, like, an extremely traumatic experience.

Yes. But as kids, we, like, and I'm sure it was traumatic as a kid, but when we hear, like, we just don't take kid things seriously, you know? So, like, that's just like, ah, another kid beating your eye. But that's, like, fucking crazy. Yeah, that's totally insane. Like, that probably really, I would have been scared as hell. That's trauma, right? It's like, oh, even if it's, I mean, not to get too dark,

but even if it's like abuse or whatever, when you look back, it was like, oh, but I was a little kid and I deserved it. Right, I was a little kid. I didn't know any better. No. You know what I mean? And that's how shit gets unpacked. And that's how shit doesn't come out to the surface.

Well, it's the same with corporal punishment. If you can't go around hitting other adults when they do something wrong, how dare you hit a kid? Right. Not to make this too dark. Real talk. Real talk. Real talk. Real talk. This is real talk. How dare you hit a child when it's like you are not allowed to hate other adults? And you're not supposed to be able to hit your kids. How do you think that that's a way to communicate? How do you think that's a way to ask someone to respect you if you don't respect them? And people don't respect kids anymore. Yeah. Well, they don't, right. They think that they're in a different species. They are like a different category of human that that can get piss in their eye and not worry about it.

My biggest pet peeve is watching like an obvious moron on the street talking to their little kid like they're an adult. and not in a good way, be like, why don't you understand this? Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, what you talk? Come on.

Like, what you? It's like, yeah, yeah. They've been on this planet for like three years. Fuck, fuck. Like, you need to let, like, they don't know.

They're a little kid. Yeah. I can't believe you don't understand this. Yeah. Honestly, I feel like it has gone to that respect where I had just said, I misspoke when I said that.

It's like, because we were, I mean, as the generations go on, we are respecting children a lot more than we ever have. But that's true. Then it goes to that other extreme sometimes where it is, it's just like, why don't you get this?

Because, like, we were spoken to as adults our entire life. We were never, like, baby talked. We never had any of that. And which is good to an extent. Because then there are times, it's like, but they also don't know. And you have to explain it and respect them properly. You can't just assume, like, no, I speak to them like this. And Charles understands when I say these things.

That's like the deep, you know, it's like the deep psyche. of being a human being, they don't get it yet. Sometimes people are like, well, my thing with kids is that I just talk to them like they're adults, which is like, okay, cool, but there's a reason, like,

Mr. Rogers talked about developmental state. Like, there is such a thing as child development. So, yes, treat them with dignity always from the beginning. Talk to them like they're equal to you. But, like, don't, like, when people just talk to, say, well, I just talk to kids like they're adults. It's like, but they don't understand things the same way because there's child development.

So, like, you have to talk to a three-year-old about something differently or an eight-year-old about something differently. It doesn't mean you don't have to come at them, like, from a place of mutual respect. Right. But you're just not talking to it. Like, you know, if you'd be infuriated if you approach to a child, like they're an adult because they don't understand things. I will, though I will be referring to my child in the future as either president or mayor. Throughout the developmental years. I like that.

I'll just say mayor, you know, maybe his name is Charles. Mayor Charles. That's really empowering. Oh, another Charles. Yeah. I think that that's nice. I think that's really... It's probably going to sound just like his father.

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Let's get sexier. Here's another one for another time, because this just got me thinking we'd, talking about this bar theme and I want to talk about like pop stuff because that's the whole point of the show right I know I was we were getting excited but but I will say we don't have to answer this now because this might be a bit of a rabbit hole but um you know medieval times awesome right everyone fucking loves medieval times yes why aren't there like other genres of that of that restaurant concept you know what I mean other periods of history other periods of history I think it's because it's difficult to do without being stereotypical and mean.

Ah, so you can't do like feudal Japan. Horrible. A lot of racism happened throughout history. Right. And so I think it's going to be tough to find, like, one is innocuous. What about this? What about superheroes and villains? That's a good idea.

Ooh. I love a chain restaurant because it's as close as I can get to a theme experience. Right? I had, have you been a medieval time? Oh, yeah. I loved it. Yeah. I was like, this is amazing.

Why don't I do this all the time? Because it's a good, probably. Themes are great. Yeah. Themes are great. I just think there could be so many cool

Wizard of Oz or something. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, right. It could be any, that would be a fun one. Anything. An immersive, immersive.

People are competing and doing, you know, and you root for your team. Yeah. Right? I want mine to be a Thanksgiving-themed one, which will become problematic, but what if the Native Americans win instead.

They always won. Oh, like a justice, like a re-envisioning justice in colonial time. Yeah, but everyone gets to eat Thanksgiving meals, and they get to watch the horrible battles, and watch a bunch of pilgrims die from their diseases. I would definitely go to a restaurant where I get to eat Thanksgiving food, and I get to watch, like, a re-envisioning of history where the indigenous people actually, like, were treated with some modicum of respect

and, like, were able to try them. Molly, that sounds boring. Try, no. No, that's really boring. Not that they're treated with respect from the country, colonists because who gives a fuck? It's that they beat the colonists. Oh, okay, so it's not because for a second you were painting a picture

there where we just watched, we ate a meal while we watched Pilgrims and Indians have a very civil cordial meal. That's the myth of Thanksgiving. I'm completely wrong. The myth of Thanksgiving is that they had a cordial meal, right? No, it has to be like Jackie said. It has to be

the, like a mass elimination of the colonists. What if, since Elon Musk is actually obviously a time-traveling alien, right? What if he goes back and he gives them the gift of like future

weapons? So they're using like otherworldly weapons against the muskets and things like that. Right. I'm assuming pilgrims, I'm saying the word musket, but you know what I mean. I don't know what they use. The pilgrims had smallpox written blankets, you know, they rigged the game. They rigged it. They rigged it.

They rubbed their fucking pox all over their fucking bivis or whatever they called them. Yeah, to shame because We know so much about this. I just want to say how smart I feel when I talk about history. Say Hugh Jackman,

huh? He's fucking Wolverine in the movies, right? He's ripped. And he's in the music he did musicals. We're getting into the history of colonization in America. Maybe it's just that. Maybe it's page seven medieval times. So it's like all these pop culture icons

battling it out. It's like John Traversus Goop. Yeah. See, that I would watch. And your team, you know. But are we talking about holograms? Are we talking about animatronics? Oh, we're talking about amazing impersonators.

We're talking about Vegas. Actors, okay. But there will be some real people there. Like, Lady Gaga will play herself. Okay. Oh, my God, wouldn't that be great? Especially she just, her engagement was just broken off. So Lord knows she's got the time.

I saw that. Her engagement was broken off. And I did not enjoy, I like that song from Starsborn, but I did not enjoy her Grammy performance at all. She was like trying to channel Freddie Mercury or something. Shots fired. People said that she was high. I don't know what was going on,

but she was just trying to, like, trying too hard. She spoke so. But I will say that dress that she had on at the Grammy's good. Lord in heaven. All the glitter body suit? Yes, please. I want that glitter body suit. I just felt like she was trying too hard to be like,

I'm singing my star is born. Like, it's a good song. Just sing it's a ballad. Like, just sing it. And she was acting like she was like. Going way too hard in the paint. Yeah, exactly. I will say shout outs to Casey Musgraves.

She won album of the year, right? She did. That album's awesome. That's what I've heard. It is. It's a great album. I did not listen to it. And I was rooting for Cardi B.

or Kendrick, but I did hear people say that Casey Musgra's album was really good. Would have been happy with either of those two, but was so ecstatic because I love that album. It's great. She's great. So, oh my God.

I am, I got tickets to see Robin and Madison Square Garden. Oh, shit. Oh, wow. Damn. That's amazing. I'm really excited. I'm gonna have such a great time.

And it's literally like perfect. It is the weekend before my wedding. So it's like the perfect way to just be like, hey, let's just like forget about it for a night. Yes. Go out, have a fucking rad time. Yes. Yeah, so anyways, shout out to Lone Star Kate, by the way,

for hooking us up. Hell yeah, that rule. You know what I'm not looking forward to, though, is the Oscars this weekend. Oh. Me neither. Why? I'm not looking forward to it.

It's, you know, I like the Oscars. I watch them. but it just seems like nobody gives a shit this year. They didn't even try to find another host. The host thing is hilarious. They're just like, you know what? Whatever. Just forget it.

That part is like kind of amazing. I think they should get Alicia Keys. I thought she did great at hosting the Grammy music. I feel like she's so, I don't know. There's some about her. She's so cool. She's kind of boring. Really?

The word you're looking for is soothing, Holden. Soothing, she's so soothing. Yeah, she's like a Starbucks. She's not boring. She plays piano with two hands. How dare you? She is Starbucks. She is Starbucks.

She's music. I saw that. Two pianos. That was very impressive. That was very impressive. No, she was, I just felt so comfort. You know, like when it's James Cornyn and it's just, you just feel so for nets. It's like watching a, somebody's trying to be funny and you just feel so tight and nervous.

And Alicia Keys, she didn't care. She was just like, all right, let's. She's just doing it, man. She was just doing it. I was so relaxed. I just want her to host the Oscars. So relax, you wanted to fall a. No.

No, it's soothing. Well, remember, you can't just get you, but she would probably do great, but you can't just get any action. or whatever to do it, because we remember the Anne Hathaway year with what's his name, James Franco. James Franco. Disaster. So you really do kind of need somebody with some pep in their steps. Pizzards. Some pazz.

Some pazzes. But is there an actor equivalent of somebody who has the, like, calm and soothing charisma and presence of Alicia Keys? Like, I don't think there is. Who would it even? There must be, but I can't. Daniel Day as Lincoln. But only as...

Honestly, throwing this out there, this controversial stance, I would say Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith, but I'm also obsessed with the Red Table Talks. That would be fun. Yeah, I think that's a great idea. And then the kids could come in sometimes. I like both of those kids. Oh, a family hosting?

That would be fun. That would be cool. Jackie, that's a great idea. Good for you, Jackie. All right, I'll contact the Academy. I'll also ask them to still play the best editing and best cinematography during the actual show and not during the commercial breaks,

because everyone is losing their minds about that, as they should, because that's a huge part of movies. Yeah. Are we live commentating this Oscars, by the way? I don't even know, man. I'm just, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm a little blase. I don't know.

Is it because of the films this year, or is it because of, and I have the nominations up and we can talk about whatever. I haven't seen enough. I feel like I have to cram now. I'm realizing. That's not, yeah. I haven't seen Roma. I haven't seen the white.

Roma's on Netflix right now. I've heard Roma's great. Yes, I haven't seen Green Book. I've not seen Green Book and I'm not especially interested in seeing it. I have no desire to see Green Book. What is it? What is it about? It sounds like it was done very poorly.

Mahershal Ali had to apologize to the family of the author of the book for how much it misrepresented the guy's story. So how is it best? Good question. Good question. Because essentially, essentially, Mahershal Ali plays Dr. Donald Shirley, who's a concert pianist. and Vigo Mortensen plays Tony Lipp, his driver, during the 1960s.

But the problem is that, I know that we've talked about this before, is that this is from the perspective of Tony Lipp and like his son's version of what happened. And Marischel Ali had to call the family of Donald Shirley's and like apologize because they were all up in arms because they're like, that's not really how it went. Yeah, the family was like,

this has been completely misrepresentation. And it's a shame because it sounds like it was just really poorly made. And I think both Mahershal Ali and Vigo Mortensen are amazing. Yeah. So it just sounds like that's like kind of a whoopsie of a movie. But it seems like Roma's going to win everything. I haven't seen Roma yet. That's the one I probably have to see.

I saw Bohemia Rhapsie. I thought it was pretty good, but I'm shocked to see it on the best picture. That's exactly how I've. I had fun. I think there's some good critiques of it. But I liked Bohemian Rhapsody, but I'm surprised it's on the best picture list. I haven't seen Black Clansman. I really liked.

I need to see Black Cleansom in this week. I really like the favorite. I was a big fan of Lobster, which is the movie they did before this draft. I love the favorite. Have you watched Killing of a Sacred Deer yet, Holden? No, I have not. I will say there is this one scene that I,

also, I've been bringing up a lot lately because I recently rewatched it. It is a, it's very upsetting movie, and there is one scene that is, like, afterwards, like I couldn't stop talking about. I will say it, It's a lot of past secrets that Colin Farrell tells his son to try and get him to open up about his own secrets. And it's very dark and very upsetting.

It's fun, though. That's good. But the favorite was amazing. I loved the favorite. I will say this about award shows in general lately. It's like everything, and I get it, but everything is very political. and it feels like every acceptance speech. The funniest one was, as an example of this,

was the guy who won for assassination of Gianni Versace, he got up there and he was just like, just so you guys know, my mom is from Puerto Rico, okay? So I am also a part of this fight. You know what I mean? Everyone's like, yeah. And I'm like, that is ridiculous. Okay, we get, okay, we get it.

Although, based on the Grammys, I think that the, I guess I haven't watched other awards show this here besides the Grammys, but I think that we've come back around this year to just not talking about it. Okay. I would kind of prefer because, like, man, I think it was the Emmys maybe was just like, every single acceptance.

Or no, Golden Globes was one of us. Yeah, I mean, I feel like, I go back and forth on that because, like, obviously on the one hand, it's like the venue, it's, like, is inherently, like, not radical. It's, like, one good, one good one. One good acceptance speech where you throw it in there. I like, it's when everybody gets up

and tries to top the other person, and they're all actors, so they're all like really unabashed about it. That's the thing. I feel like if actors, I feel like on the one hand, actors do have a responsibility to, like, use their platforms responsibly. And so if they say something that's meaningful, I think that that can be a good opportunity. On the other hand, a lot of actors just don't have anything interesting to say.

And it's when it becomes cynically said because I need to hit this bullet point. That's right. Because I'm, you know, trying to like get an, you know, I'm just trying to earn points. Right. It's different if, like, Lena Waith wins. And she's like, let's talk about queer people of color, writers, and how they're not in the writer's room. Like, that's fucking awesome.

Let's talk. I'm down. Sure. Like, that, like, rules. Oh, the player off right now. Oh, man. But, like, what was the example, Jackie? Nicole Kidman and Big Little Lies,

and there was something in her acceptance speech. She didn't, like, she said, like, I'm so glad that I did such a good job portraying this important issue of domestic violence. It was something where she was trying to talk about, domestic violence, but she just talked about what... Big time pat on the back. And I love Nicole Kimman and I love that show.

And she was amazing in the show. I will give her that. She was amazing. It was just a whiff. But I think it was the example of what you're talking about. Whereas like, let's... It would be nice... You could use that as an opportunity to be like, this show was about domestic violence and that's important.

But instead it was just like, you love me. And also, you love domestic violence. Whoops. Like, it was just a... It was just a... Uh-oh. So I guess I'll say to wrap up the Oscar thing just that I would say, usually I'm like way more excited about the Oscars than I am this year.

I'm like more checked out from the movies than I have been in a while. I'm usually like, I love the Oscars. So at the end of the day, I don't know why it's the only awards show that I've just love, love, love. But I'd say this time I'm less excited and more just like curious, like darkly curious about what the fuck is. Yes, and that's definitely why I'm going to watch it. It's like I know that Adam Lambert is performing with Queen, like the rest of Queen or whoever's still alive. because Adam Lambert's actually been touring and singing with Queen on tour.

So I'm interested in things like that. Yeah. I mean, of course I'm going to watch it. It's just, it's really, it's getting me down this year. Yeah. Yeah. You know what my favorite movie that I've seen this year so far has been is The Hate You Give.

I fucking loved it. I thought it was so well done. I don't think it got any Oscars. It's not a teen movie for teens. KJ Appa is in it from Riverdale. Wait, KJ Appa! Oh, you been. KJ. Appa.

And he plays similarly Archie-like Dufus. And Amanda La Sternberg is in it. And it's like a Y.A. book that was adapted. And I haven't read the book. I've heard the book is better. But I love the movie. So just that's just my... I just looked it up.

I haven't heard about this. It's about police violence. But it does a really good job, I thought. And it's, like, very much worth watching. I loved it. Yeah. Mine that didn't really get any love this year at the Oscars is 8th grade. I want to see eighth grade so bad.

It is so good. I've heard, I've heard. And Bo Burnham won the Writers Guild Award, and his acceptance speech is awesome. And he got up there, and he was just like, see it the Oscars, losers. And was like, eh, like, kind of fucking with everybody. Oh, no.

Because he didn't get nominated for an Oscar, so it was just so hilarious. But that movie, I would have wanted that movie to win in every category it could have been elected for. I thought it was just one of the best movies last year. It nailed. Again, going back to those awful middle school, years. It just nailed it and it's funny

and it's real and the actress who plays the lead girl in it is amazingly good. She's so young and she's so good. Yeah. I feel like Bo Burnham really like remembers and respects what it's like to be a very young person and I feel like he does that so well. Oh, it just cut to the core of me.

I cried, I laughed. You know what I mean? Yeah. Also, Holden, I know that I talked about this with Molly and Henry last week. Have you seen any of Penn 15? yet? No, I have not. That's another, I mean, it's a funny version. I can lovingly refer to it as the funnier side of eighth grade. Awesome. Actually, yeah, and this, now that we're recommending

shows again, can I give my anime corner? Anime corner. Anime corner. Come into America. Man, just Jamaican anime corner, huh? As I was saying it, I was upset if it makes you feel any better. What am I doing? I'm still brushing after all this time brushing on my little teeth with my quippy piece of meat. I'm still brushing, yeah, yeah, yeah. And thank Christ or my teeth would rot out of my head

with all the candy I shove in my crawl. Quip is a better electric toothbrush created by dentists and designers. Can you feel the buzz? That sounds like I'm asking you whether or not you feel those jizzies taking hold of your moral dilemmas, but I'm actually talking quips sensitive sonic vibrations, because they gentle on your sensitive gums, so the only buzz in your feeling is the sweet gentle hum of clean teethies. Some people brush too hard and some electric toothbrushes are too abrasive, but I can feel the love in my teeth when I use my quip,

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That's why I love Quip. It takes the guesswork out of do I love this person, and should I marry them even though I'm not happy, and just brushes those pearly whites of yours, gently, beautifully, sensually. And they're backed by over 20,000 dental professionals. Quip starts as just $25. And if you go to getquip.com slash page 7 right now,

you get your first refill pack for free with a Quip electric toothbrush. That's your first refill pack free at G-E-T-Q-U-I-P-com slash page 7. And then it won't be a long, long time till you use quip and have healthy teeth. Yes, please, share it with us. Yes, so Lex and I started watching a really great show that I think page 7 listeners would enjoy, even if you don't like anime. Too bad, you'd probably have to get a Crunchy Roll account to watch it because, actually, I think you can watch stuff on Crunchy Roll.

You just have to sit through ads and stuff. Crunchy Roll is the anime. Netflix. It is called Yuri on Ice. It is a gay boy figure skating show. It is so good. It is like this, this guy. He's like about to retire, but he's like 22 because you retire so young from figure skating, I guess, or whatever. And this freshly retired, like the big star guy that he's like in love with becomes his mentor, his trainer. And it's just this beautiful, romantic. The figure skating is, is beautifully animated, like this. Ooh. All of the episodes are just really good.

He's got a nemesis who's also named Yuri, who's, like, competing against him, and he has this, like, evil ballerino woman, like, old lady teaching him how to, like, do, like, ballet stuff. And then he's, like, learning the language of love and figure skating with his mentor, who's, like, showing him how to, you know, break out of his shell in his final year of figure skating

to try to win the Grand Prix. It's, like, a great sports anime, which is, like, its own genre of anime. And it has so much... I didn't know that was a genre of anime. It is. And it has so much heart and so much just like, it's just so beautiful. The music's really good.

Just the opening theme is really good. Like, just gets you right in there. So anyways, Yuri on Ice, check it out. If you'd never been a person who thought you'd like anime, I think this might be a good, like, one to try because it's not, like, giant muscle dudes, like, beating the shit out of each other. You know what I mean? Dude, I'm totally down. That sounds great. Yeah.

I've been trying to track down perfect blue because it's one of Henry's favorite movies. Yes, that is a great anime film. And it's difficult to find. Yeah, it is. Yeah, it is. No one wants you watching it. Essentially, Molly, it's, I mean, this is a horrible description, but it's like Black Swan. It's like the anime, it's like the original, because it was way before Black Swan.

And it's a very like trippy, a hallucinogenic, fucked up story of like what is real and what's not real. I really love anime, TV shows and stuff and definitely films that get away. a little bit sometimes from the Shonen style, from the, like, which is essentially just sort of like, good versus evil, crazy fights and stuff, and, like, really get into weird, like, different territory completely, you know, which has been a lot of fun

with Yuri on Ice. So, yeah. Anime Corner is over. That's it. That's all you got for Anime Corner? On the Road to America. Anime Corner went to America. He started, yeah, eating at fast food places. Aye, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I guess it's time for the list. Who's on the list? Do I have it? Gotta have that list. This time I actually looked at the list because I keep, I'd like to keep it secret for myself, but I guess I can't while Marcus is gone. We've got 20 singers you probably forgot won Oscars.

Oh, that's a great list. It's all theme. It's all theme. That's a good list. This list was founded because I recently re-watched Moonstruck, and I forgot that Cher won an Oscar for Moonstruck. That makes sense. She won Best Actress.

Wow. I need to see Moonstruck, right? Chah. Yeah, it's great. You have any others? Should we have a movie night? We can develop our business. We have a very long business.

Nick Cage is great in it. You got Olympia Dukakis, you got Danny A. I yellow. I mean, what else could you want? in a movie. It's great movie. And Nicholas Cage ax the fuck out of his weird role.

He always does, man. Can you give me the elevator picture what the movie's about? It is, oh, hi, nice to share this elevator with you. Oh, hey, okay, well, don't touch you like that. Sorry, I get a little jockey. No, no, no, no, no.

I get a little jabby on you, a little javvy. Do you want a hot talk? Do you like this? Do you want a hot talk? Yeah, of course you. Oh, I'll just be a hat. There you go. There you go. Oh,

could you tell me? I was interested seeing a movie tonight. What do you think I should watch while we're in this elevator? So I think that you should watch Moonstruck because Cher is a, um,

she is a homely looking woman that still lives with her parents that is going to, she is, she, her, she's a widow and she's marrying Danny I yellow. Oh, that sounds sad. That sounds sad.

It's, oh, it's sad. But it's not sad. She's marrying Danny I yellow, even though she doesn't really want to. and Olympia Tukakis is great as her mother. It's a very old school New York family. And then she meets,

Danny Aiello's mother is dying in Italy, and so he has got to go to Italy, and he said, go find my brother. We haven't talked in all these years. I need my brother to come to my mother's funeral, or no, to come to the wedding. And Nick Cage is his younger brother, who is like, he's got a lot of feelings.

And his hand was crushed. in some sort of machinery long time ago and he never talks to his brother and then she falls in love with him. Okay, I'm probably gonna just I'm probably gonna watch La La Land but get you talk to you and your dumb stories

why didn't they get real real singers and dancers in La La Land? Yeah, I like when they don't get real ones. Adele won an Oscar for Skyfall. Skyfall. Is that James Bond? That's James Bonner. Yeah, that was Skyfall.

Hell yeah Adele deserves everything Where has she been though? Do you think is she working on a new album? Raising a baby? She's working on a new album And she also has decided that she's not going to tour anymore Good, good for her

And by the way, you yeah You come here and you do this, you work You're fucking ass off while you're raised baby I didn't mean to reduce Adele to not also continuing to make music But as I understand it, she didn't want to take some time It's just hard because you start singing in the microphone and then the baby starts crying. You have to go stop the baby for crying.

Never mind all fun. Someone like, yeah. Oh, God. Barbara Streisand won an Oscar. I'm not shocked at all by that. Forever Green, the lead song from her version of a star is born, which I have, I want to do that this week. I want to watch all of the versions of a star.

That's a good. That's a fun idea. Yeah, I haven't seen the new one either. It's fine. I did not feel like it was amazing. I feel like I just know what it is. So it's like I'd kind of rather watch something I might not know what it is.

I had very little surprises and I have not seen any of the other ones. I just was like, I know what this is about. I just know this story. Yeah, but it was fun. I mean, I like Bradley Cooper. I like Lady Gaga. I like the music in it.

I didn't like it's pop shaming. It's very shaming of pop music. Really? I hate that. I'll maybe hate it. Well, it's like he's like, oh, you lost your way. You know, when she becomes more like a popular,

he's like, remember your roots, when you were just a singer with me. I feel like treats her like she kind of sells out when she becomes more popular. Okay, well, I would then sit him down and play him a little song called New Year's Day by Taylor Swift. Whoa.

Whoa. Sorry, but I'm going to call him a fuck right now. And I feel like the mental health takeaways are not as good as they could be, but I did enjoy watching. It just didn't like, I wasn't like, yeah, this is good best. I've been waiting for it to come on anything so that I can rent it.

And it's not anything. anywhere and you didn't get it in the SAG things because of... Didn't get the screener. I didn't get the screener. Yeah, I mean neither. He didn't? No, they didn't send him out for the SAG awards. Oh, my brother's in the WGA, and so we got it from that.

I wonder what WGA got it but not set. Elton John won an Oscar, which I didn't realize that he did for Can You Feel the Love Tonight from the Lion King. Of course. Well, I mean, come on. I mean, he was on top of his game at that point, you know? How dare you? He still is on top of his game.

No, he's too. frail and he's... How dare you? He's not frail! Did he play any Lion King at the concert? Good Q. Good question. No, he didn't. He didn't. He didn't. No one, Lion King.

He didn't even need to. He had three hours of amazing material. He didn't need it. He's got so much. I forget that Eminem won an Oscar for Lose Yourself. Oh, I thought it was 8 Mile. Oh, which is... Yeah, from 8 Mile. From 8 Mile.

From 8th Wild. Yeah, Zup. And the music. That was well deserved, right? Never let a goal. I feel like that was a good song. But the best rap group that won, it was, I'm sure it's on that list.

Because the craziest, like... Hustin from Hustle and Flo, 3-6 Mafia? 3-6 Mafia, when they won, that was like the greatest moment of Oscar history in my mind. I forgot about it. I still, that's move, that song still gets stuck in my head. They were so happy. Yeah.

I'm so shocked. I forgot about that. That was so much fun. Yeah, that was good. I want more stuff like that at the Oscars. Yeah. I didn't know Lionel Rich. you won an Oscar. That's fun.

John Legend's on that list, right? Say you, say me. Yeah, John Legends on the list. I, you know what? The Alicia Keys of, on the male side. How dare you? She is a delight. Star, oh, do you want a Grande, John Legend, or do you want to think of John Legend? Oh, I want the Alicia Keys, yeah, I want Frappa.

Can I get a Frapa Alicia Keys? I understand the point you're making about John Legend, but I will not stand by while that point is made about Alicia Key. Yeah, I think actually, could I get a cafe Bruno Mars? You are being a monster right now. Could I please get a Cafe Bruno Mars with a side of a latte Alicia Keys? Bruno Mars is way better than that, and how dare you? I love Bruno Mars.

I don't even think that John Legend is that plain. I just understand that he has a bit of a reputation as kind of being played. But Alicia Keys, not playing. I take umbrage in the fact that Jared Leto is on this list. Yeah, for his fucking band. Remember how embarrassing that was? Humillion to even think about. What was it on what?

What movie? Oh, he won for Dallas Biers Club. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. But that's, yeah, then he has in a shitty band. Like, every other actor is. That's what I mean. He should be on the list. Does Johnny Depp on the phone? He's on the list for being an actor who won, but remember his band?

Oh, yeah, yeah. That's why. Because this is like 30, it's 20 musicians that have won an Oscar. But it's not just. people who he didn't win an Oscar for his shitty band didn't win an Oscar. Yeah, his shitty fucking band didn't win an Oscar who I've heard too, like, I've heard so many stories to just, there was like a whole thread of like what bands were like super disappointing to see live on Reddit and he had such a long thread of like

they just got on stage like nobody cared everybody. It's just like, what the, why do you even do it then? Why do you do it? Yeah. Phil Collins won an Oscar for Tarzan's. You'll bid my heart. You know what? It's a great song.

Yeah. And everyone that thinks of. otherwise can get aged. 80s Starbucks. That's definitely 80s Starbucks. I'm sorry, but I got a... Hey! Hey! What did you put?

Can you feel the love tonight in that category? I would put that song in Starbucks. Yeah. But you can't put out in Starbucks. No, no, no, no, no. But that song specifically. Yeah, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

That was definitely... You're both a Starbucks. You're mean. You're mean. I'm just going to start walking down the street just pointing at to Starbucks and your Starbucks. And you're Starbucks. Well, you know who's not Starbucks?

Stevie Wonder. Stevie Wonder one of us. Never Starbucks. Never Starbucks. Always just, what's the not Starbucks? Always mom and pop awesome coffee shop with a cool vibe that does like a poetry night on Tuesdays.

Are you trying to say like the one that I used to work at and thank you, I hear you. Yes, you're right. He is the me and my old coffee shop to this list. I love this. When I come back, can we play Starbucks or not Starbucks? Of course we can. Yeah, let's line it up.

I want to have a whole section a set up for you. You know, also not Starbucks, Bruce Springsteen. Definitely not. Absolutely. You know what's crazy? But you know what's crazy? Like, I think it's really hip right now.

It's really cool right now to hate on Springsteen. What? I don't get it. I don't get it. Well, the whole argument is just like, oh, he's always like, I come from a small town and I'm, but he's like a millionaire. But I'm like, yeah, but like he wasn't a millionaire originally. And he's like singing this, just because he's singing the song of America,

doesn't mean he has to fucking be, like, living on a. train. Like he can like read stories and like play character stuff. It's the same thing. He continues to be fucking awesome. He yeah. What did I just hear about that his son really likes the band? I think it was, I hope I'm getting this right. I think his son likes the band against me or it was some other punk band.

I think it was against me. Okay. And so then he went with them to see this show, this punk show and then the band found out that the boss was there and they were like, what? Like that's awesome. That's awesome. That's awesome. As of like the boss now is still fucking.

You don't have to convince me. I felt like his Broadway show that's on Netflix, it felt too much like a Broadway show. It very much felt like a director directed him in a Broadway show, you know? And just the way that's what it was. That's what it was. But I was kind of hoping for like a looser, more like storyteller vibe.

Like a little less, less rehearsed, less like, it just felt very rehearsed. I could see the director's notes a little bit. You know what I mean? And it kind of threw me off. But besides that, I fucking, yeah, I love, I mean, Springsteen's amazing. It's like him and like Dylan right now.

or like super cool to hate on, like super cool. Because again, it's like, oh, you're just like pretending to be. It's like, yeah, yeah, that's called like, that's like everybody. Like, so you don't like meatloaf, you don't like, like, what do you mean pretending to be? Like, that's what you do. I mean, Bruce Springsteen, he built his own career. Like, he, on his own talent and his own work. Oh, yeah.

He also has exceptional politics. And he's like still, like, he's like a huge progressive and his like talks about workers and like, and when whenever Chris Christie talks about how much he likes Springsteen, Springsteen's like, get my name out of your mouth. He, like, didn't want Chris Christie to play his music and his rallies and stuff. I love when musicians do that. Yeah, because he was like, I'm for workers, man. Like, you're like a union buster.

So, yeah, he's got great politics. Yeah, yeah, awesome. Oh, I love the boss. Well, I mean, that's it for our listen. I think that that's it for our show. That's amazing. I just want to apologize to Jackie because she sent me a giant page full of links to articles that we did not talk about today. That's okay.

We developed our business plan, which is, again, to recap, is a jungle gym. inside of a bar with a shame room where people get too drunk for the juggles that we watch them vomit through a glass while we try to choke down and there's no stairs only slides you have to climb up the slide and it's called the drink and play

like the most frustrating thing to do the most frustrating thing to do is try to climb up a very slick slide so annoying we don't even want to give them like a climbing wall or something you actually climb now There could be a couple of cargo nets in there, but I think the slides only, because mind

you, they're not going to have any clothes on, so they'll be sticky. All the slides, by the way, they're those tube slides that are extra different. Super static, too. All this super static. I didn't even think about the static. Oh, oh, oh, yeah. Everyone's hair is going to be so. Sweater day is going to be a nightmare.

Every week there's a sweater day. Of course, yeah, every Tuesday. It's sweater day. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank you guys so much for joining us this weekend. Thank you, Holden McNeely. Thank you. From Wizard and the Bruiser, please check it out

on the last podcast network. It is, as someone who is not, I don't consider myself a nerd. I very much enjoy your show. And almost more importantly, come visit Jackie and I on Jaconese dating Sims. Hell yeah. Usually every Friday night,

6 p.m. EST, Twitch.tv. forward slash Hold Nader's Ho, and one day, Molly, the day will come. The day will join us. We will get, you will do, you will say and do things you regret through alcohol issues. And we will be, we will be drunk and you will be upset. It will be, it will be drinking. Yeah, that's the thing. I've wanted to do it for a long time.

I just got to get back to the point in my life where I'm ready for a big old drink and play. It's going to be a little while. We are going to drink and play. Thank you, Molly. and thank you guys for listening and joining us this week. We will be back next week. If you'd like more googies and goggies and more,

oh, all kinds of smut. Please check out our Patreon pages. Patron.com slash page seven podcasts, seven the number. All kinds of smut. It's pretty smutty. Jackie's in charge of a lot of the content. Not pornography? Yeah, it's all smut.

Of course it's all smut. It's just my smut, whether you want it or not. Everybody have a smile. Love you guys. We'll see you next week. Bye. Bye. Bye.

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