Page 7 - Episode 292: Squawkin' & Squealin'
Episode Date: March 1, 2019Jackie, Marcus and Ben discuss the Oscars, "Lorena" and a particularly icky blind item. Get 20% off at http://betabrand.com/seven Robinhood is giving listeners a free stock at http://page7.r...obinhood.com Try Simple Health and get the $20 prescription fee waived by going to http://simplehealth.com/page7 or use promo code: page7. Want even more hot goss? Support us on our Patreon page! https://www.patreon.com/page7podcast Apero Hour, BossaBossa, Rainbows, Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Cr Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hey guys, I'm Carolina Hidalgo.
And I'm Juan Camillo-Sais, and we're here for Las Podcast Network.
Our show, Esquela Sangre, is a weekly Spanish podcast,
where each week we talk about Hispanic true crime, serial killers,
the supernatural folklore, and Walter Mercado.
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The cool thing about this show is that it's not just for native speakers,
but also for anyone who wants to learn or brush up on their Spanish.
Yeah.
If you go to Last Podcast Network.com and click on ES scripts,
you'll find the scripts to our shows.
The transcript is not a direct translation to the show,
since we improvise a fair amount here and there,
but the narrative is as close as it gets, I promise.
Yes, we've been about Pedro Lopez,
Soverevians in Los Angeles.
Richie Valens, Sacrifios Humanes of the Aztecas,
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Sateria, Selena, and Yolanda.
Histories Hispanics of Mexico, Colombia, Peru,
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iTunes, SoundCloud, or go to last podcastnetwork.com under shows.
The shows.
So, Buscalo.
Buscalo.
Grazes, Amigos.
Bye.
It has been in my head.
I can't get it out of my head.
I don't think the entire world can get it out of their head.
Although a couple of days ago, I was singing it at Henry,
and he's like, why do you keep singing this song?
Why do you keep singing this song?
I was like, because it's shallow.
It's the song that everyone hears it.
He's like, never heard it.
Never heard of this song.
I don't know what you're talking about.
Welcome on page seven, everyone.
The Oscars was the first time I ever heard it.
Yeah, I don't even know what that song is.
But I loved it.
You did a great job.
It was powerful.
But welcome.
Marcus is back on the episode this week.
And also, thank you so much one Mr. Ben Kistel from Abliggins Top Hat.
Last podcast on the left of the last podcast network.
Thank you so much for joining us today.
Thank you for having me, Jackie.
And also Puffin's here, but I know Puffin can't talk.
And I just get, I have never met Puffin.
I know.
I'm very excited to.
Yes, he can't wait to meet you, Jackie.
I've told him all about you.
And he's like, I can't wait to me, Jackie.
She sounds like a great friend and a good friend.
I hope that you refer to me as Auntie Jackie,
though, please. Yes, of course. He's got
uncles and aunts all over the place. You're definitely
one of the aunts. What a lucky puff.
Of course. And you get to meet Puffin and
Georgine all the dogs and you come out for
the wedding this fall.
Yay!
Way wedding!
Man, everybody's getting married, huh?
Everyone is getting married. In no way is it like
stressful.
It is just nothing but for one of us.
No, stress.
Yeah.
Fun. At one time.
It's great. That's what I call it.
You know, it's just crazy now because we're at a certain age where we just get together for weddings and funerals.
Yeah.
We're already there.
We're like Italian mobsters.
It's so weird.
Everyone else was there like five years ago.
We've just all been living in this fantasy wonderland forever.
Now we're just catching up.
I like to stay in the snow globe.
But it is insane.
I feel like it all just got shoved like 10 years back for comedians.
It did.
It's like everyone does this in their mid-20s.
We're doing it in our mid-30s.
It's great.
But also, thank Christ, it didn't happen in our mid-20s.
I didn't have the money to travel for weddings.
No.
Absolutely not.
Absolutely not.
No, this is the best time for it.
That's right, Marcus.
You haven't been back since the engagement.
Mazel, mazzle, mazzle, mazzle, mausle.
Dunka, dunka, don'tca.
Um, Kissel, how do you feel about the pressure?
Are you feeling pressured?
I'm feeling pressured.
To get married?
Yeah.
No.
No.
No way.
No, man.
I think it's great getting together, celebrating with friends.
That's what it is.
I mean, weddings are a blast.
They are.
You get to cry a little bit.
You get to get hammered a lot of bit.
And you get to see people have a good time.
Yeah, it's going to be fun.
Yes, absolutely.
It is going to be fun.
And I'm excited.
Holden also has a wedding from Wizard and the Brewser coming up here in the very near future.
And I'm excited for that.
Yeah, that's like next week.
Next week.
My goodness.
Oh, God.
Why is it that when people have weddings, I know it's like, oh, the people to get married are stressed out.
But really, it just makes everyone around.
them much more stressed out. I can't wait for him to get married so it's over.
You know? Absolutely, yes. I mean, although hearing, holding, I don't know how much I can say,
but let's just say he's very animated when discussing the wedding and it's quite fun.
Quite fun. I hear a lot of just like, Jesus Christ, not when it comes.
A lot of that, but of course he is in love. Of course. And he and his wonderful fiance
are going to have a wonderful little life together. We're just discussing this because I think
right before the podcast I was telling,
Marcus, the only real reason to get married is
said that you can refer to your wife as,
my wife.
My wife.
Yeah, that's good.
Is that Borat?
Yeah, that's some borat.
Oh, okay, I like it.
Yeah, it's some borat.
But we've got some Oscars to discuss, guys.
That's right.
I think I'm the only person in the room
who watched the whole thing.
I watched the first half.
That was honestly a lot more.
I was just like, you know,
there's something about the,
the time difference here that I was like, I'm not ready to watch an award show at 5 p.m.
I'm not ready for it.
I just watch it the next day.
Well, it's funny because when I was in Los Angeles, the last time for KB's Memorial
show, I saw them setting up the Oscars.
And do you know right where the Oscars is?
Do you know what's right by there?
What?
The Wax Museum I went to.
And Dave and Busters, also where I went.
This mythical wax museum that you had such a fantastic time at.
I had such a great time.
It's right by the Dave and Buster.
So I say, just if you're a celebrity, if you're Jason Mamoa, get into the, get into the D&B.
You know, why are you going to this damn award show when you can get tall boys of Bud Lights for like $4?
And then you can drive cars, fake cars.
That's what honestly I told someone.
I was getting hammered over at Dave and Busters.
And I stood up and there was this guy walking with his kids.
And then I looked at him, I was like, it's pretty cool to be able to drink and drive.
And then he looked at me and got his kids out of there really fast.
I was like, I was just, it's kind of fun because it's a video game, you know?
I just feel like, I remember Kissel when you hit me up when you're in town,
you're like, hey, I'm getting hammered at Dave and Busters, you want to meet up with me.
I'm like, Dave and Busters, in Hollywood?
Oh, yeah.
That's the op.
I never want to do that.
No.
All right.
Anyway, that's where the Oscars is.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
How did you enjoy the Wax Museum?
Because I was following your Instagram stories and you were very into it.
Oh, yeah.
What was your favorite wax sculpture?
It's super trippy.
You got all the horror guys there.
So you got Jason, you got Michael, you got Drogula.
And then the real...
Wait, who's that?
Dracula.
And then the real scary thing is when you exit the horror portion of it,
you just enter this bar that has like Bradley Cooper and Alec Baldwin,
and what's another big celebrity?
What's a really handsome celebrity guy?
Harrison Ford.
Harrison Ford.
I'm thinking of the one guy.
He's 55 years old.
He just got married.
He's classy.
George Clooney.
George Clooney.
George Clooney and all the Merrill Streep is there and they're all wax and we just finished up Kevin's funeral and it was an open casket and I was just haunted the entire time because of course it's a common horror movie trope too.
I'm like who's in there?
And so I'm trying to like scratch him off and be like where's the blood?
Where's the skin?
I mean it's trippy man.
It really is trippy.
It was cool.
I recommend it.
But Ripley's Believe it or Not stinks.
Yeah.
Wait, did you go in?
Did you pay to go into Ripley's Believe it or not?
I did. I did. Nothing there. No. No, horrible. So, so dumb. No need. But the wax museum worth it.
That's what I'm going to say. All right. So you want Jason Mamoa to go. Wait, was there a Jason Mamoa wax sculpture?
No, I don't think there was.
That would be my only draw for me personally. Because, man, did he look good at the Oscars? Did you see what he was wearing?
I did, yes. I mean, he's one of the most handsome people on earth. I think everyone, I would say 90% of women have him as their celebrity cheat.
I think a lot of them do.
Yeah.
It's yours, right, Jackie?
For sure, and I feel like, honestly, maybe not.
I don't think you would be my number one celebrity, like, pass.
But it is the, it's interesting because it is the only man in Hollywood right now
that both me and my sister and my mother want to have sex with.
Oh, my.
And that's special.
That's a special thing.
And if you're Jason Mamoa, what a lucky guy.
What a lucky dude.
The full Zabrowski female clan want to hop on.
Give me, give me, give me, give me, give me.
me that big tall stallion.
I think somewhere he just got like a kink in his neck.
What is happening?
Well, I mean, we would definitely be a hell of a lot more fun than Lisa Bonnet.
I mean, I'll never look like Lisa Bonnet for sure because she is 51 years old.
Wow.
Yeah.
She looks amazing.
She's gorgeous.
But it was so hard to watch them on the red carpet.
So he's wearing this crushed light pink velvet.
velvet suit with he got a scrunchy to match.
Wow.
Which how cute is that?
Oh my God.
I know it.
And she was gorgeous as well, but she just like, I just wish she would lighten up 15%.
Well, she is an intense person.
You can tell.
Yeah, very intense.
But I'm sure that Jason Momoa is a pretty intense guy in his own right.
You don't get that buff without a pretty severe level of intensity.
Yeah, I'll agree with that.
You are right, but at the same time, I feel like,
So I watch almost all of his Instagram stories.
I follow him very,
do the tea, it's my job.
It's creepy.
It's my job to do these things.
And he also just looks like a big drunk
that likes to have fun as well, though.
I do have inside sources
that Jason Mamoa does like a bit of the booze.
Well, good for him.
How does he stay in such good shape?
You must be drinking the hard stuff.
Well, remember that there was a blind.
item months and months ago where he was like with like three hot women and what did he have he had like
248 packs of beer on each arm as he's like walking to the the hotel room with these women
that he's going to go like schlouts man he's going to schlounce on those fucking women I have no idea
maybe they're just going to have a good time watching triple G which is guys grocery games
which is of course in addition to triple D he does everything in triples yeah because he's so smart
Wait, do you watch Triple G?
Of course, guys grocery games.
Yeah, it's one of the best.
It's Supermarket Sweep meets a cooking competition show.
It's the perfect food reality show.
It's the best.
You watch it, Marcus?
I didn't, but I have watched Supermarket Sweep recently, strangely enough.
Okay.
It's on Buzzard, the Antenna Game Show now.
I love it.
Wait, they still, wait, are there new episodes of Supermarket Sweep?
No, it is 1989 episodes of Supermarket Sweep.
I would love to watch that.
You should.
I would love to watch that.
Yeah.
Wait, you have one of those game, the game show channels.
Yeah, buzzer.
That's what it's called?
Yeah, it's just called buzzer.
Yeah, you watch supermarket sweep.
It's very, it's bizarre to watch.
Yeah, for sure.
What's the one with the monster?
Noammy's, no whammy's, big money, big money.
That would be, uh, give me a break.
Give me a break.
Oh, no, give me a break.
Deal it.
Stop the wall.
You can have it if you get it right.
I know that's what it's called.
That's a great game show name.
Jason Momoa.
He's got his bruised.
They're in there watching something on Food Network.
I mean, that's a cool move.
He's obviously a hip dude.
I like when people are real.
That's why I like Keanu so much.
Press your luck.
Press your luck.
That's what it was.
Thank you.
With the Mucanek guys.
Yeah, Mucinex.
He seems like a legit guy, Mr. Mamoa.
So that's cool.
And maybe he likes Lisa Bonae being a little bit more intense
because maybe he's the wild one in the relationship.
And she's keeping everything in line.
I think that's definitely what it is.
Because I'm assuming they have an open relationship.
Because there's lots of things in the blind item that he's, you know, he's, he likes his drink like he likes his women, plentiful.
Yeah.
And I think that they must have some sort of agreement.
Arrangement, yeah.
They have to.
I think a lot of, I hear a lot of celebrities have arrangements.
Well, I think that would make sense because if Lisa Bonae isn't on board, I watched that Lorena
documentary, which is phenomenal.
It is amazing.
Did you watch all of it?
Should I watch all of it?
You should.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
All four, yeah, watch all four.
It's fantastic.
Because I watched the first one and I was just like, what else is going to happen in this?
And I was down with it, but I was like, for another like three and a half hours,
I wasn't sure of it was worth my time.
You don't think that they have much, like, you think it's like, how the hell, like,
there are certain points you're like, how are they going to fill another two and a half hours?
They absolutely do.
It's a fascinating story.
It is very.
It is very rough at times.
It's very rough to watch.
But it's fucking great.
She's a hero.
She really is a hero in her own right.
Yes, she is.
And there's some funny tales about the cop finding, what was his name again?
John Wayne Bobbitt.
Yeah, John Wayne Bobbitt.
And when they found his little nub.
Yeah, and how one of the cops on the scene refused to pick it up because he said he was a Christian man.
So he just put his boot on it.
That's ridiculous.
That's ridiculous.
I don't know.
His Christian faith would not allow him to touch another man's penis,
even if it was severed.
That's ridiculous.
You might catch the gay.
You never know.
Who knows how it spreads.
That's ridiculous.
But do you guys, the problem was like, I was watching the show and I was like,
do you guys remember the, um, the wiener whack, a wean or whack, a wean or whack.
Like, in the bedroom, the quiet bread room,
John Bobbitt sleeps tonight.
In the kitchen.
In the downstairs kitchen, Lorena sharpens her knife.
A weena, whack, a weir-whack, a wea-wack, a wean-wack, a wean-wack.
It sounds like a really fun morning zoo song.
I think I'm pretty sure it came from one of those, like, morning, like, radio morning shows.
And I just remember singing that all the time.
Like, my dad still sings that song.
That is hilarious.
And I just kept thinking about it, and I was like, man, now it's a really upsetting song
for children to sing.
Oh yeah.
Oh yeah.
The whole thing was upsetting.
They really got like they go further into it.
I was like, wow, this is a very serious upsetting thing that produced a lot of really bad jokes.
Yep, absolutely.
Anyway, that was a great song.
Thank you very much.
Yeah, that one, it's really been sticking in my head.
It's too catchy.
That's the problem.
And I think that there are multiple verses of it that I don't even know.
I'm sure of it.
I'm sure of it.
But it was really upsetting that, like, so there was this whole thing on the red carpet with Lisa Bonay and Jason Mamoa and Ashley Graham, you know, hot as fuck Ashley Graham supermodel.
Okay, let me see her.
She's beautiful.
Oh, yeah.
Well, isn't she the plus size model or something?
Yes.
By Hollywood industry standards.
Yes.
You know, whatever.
Okay.
So she was interviewing people on the red carpet, and she was asking different celebrities to dance with her for.
her. She's also not an interviewer. That's not what she does by trade.
Okay. And so she asked Jason Momoa, which I'm assuming is something that she knew about him to do the Haka
dance. Okay. Now what's the Haka dance? So the Haka dance is like a, it's some sort of his
culture. It's like, it's like a, like some sort of warrior dance that there's many like
Instagram videos of him doing with his like family and friends whenever he goes back home to
Hawaii. Okay, cool. And so she's like, can you do a little bit of that? Can you, because I'm
sure she's seen the Instagram videos, didn't realize how much of a part of their culture this
dance is. And you could see that Lisa Bonnet, especially, was immediately offended that she
asked him to do this dance. Well, now, why was she so just because it's a sensitive dance for
the culture and this wasn't the place to do it, right by Dave and Buster's there? Yeah, I think that that's
what it was. But I don't think that Ashley Graham. So it's like, I don't think that she knew that.
and it's just like give her a break
and just like
and she tried to immediately stop
the interview between the two of them
and Jason Mamo was like
I'll get you like a
for her
and you could just see
how fucking pissed
Lisa Bonay was about the whole thing
and then in another interview
this dude
there's like a very feminine host
was like asking
like you know
touching on his suit
on Jason Mamo's suit
and asking him like
isn't it a crazier part of the Marvel world
and you're at the Oscars essentially
which is
silly. It's insane.
And she's like, you mean that he should be
proud that he's one of the only
brown superheroes.
And it's just like, it stops
the interview dead in its tracks.
Have some fun for a second. You're at the
Oscars. I understand.
I am proud of her for fighting.
She's fought her entire career
to get where she is. Oh yeah.
Absolutely. You know, I would say that too.
You know, this is supposed to be a celebration.
It's supposed to be kind of goofy.
I mean, they're all actors and entertainers.
Yes.
You know, you got to imagine if you're going on the red carpet, it's a show.
Yeah.
You know it's a show.
I mean, even our little experience for the Webby Awards.
Now, that is an internet award.
Yeah, it's like the Oscars for nobody's.
Yeah, we walked a red carpet.
They weren't able to get all three of us in the same frame.
No, one can say it's like we don't belong on a red carpet or in any scenario like that.
But, you know, you understand you're putting on a performance for these people.
Once you just take this, take a step on the red carpet, it's not just any quarter, it's not just, you're not just walking into a movie theater.
No.
You know, so, you know.
We had hot 97 asking us questions.
And that is actually one of the warmer stations.
We didn't get cold 98.
We actually got hot 97, which is pretty sweet.
I loved it.
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So, you know, I don't know.
If I'm her,
I think she's just trying to spice it up.
Yeah.
And of course, it is great
that he's one of the only brown superheroes.
And that's awesome.
I mean, I don't know.
I didn't watch Aquaman.
No.
No.
Surprisingly enough,
was one of my favorites when I was growing up.
It doesn't surprise me.
But he had red hair.
Wait, why was it?
Wait.
Because I was into swimming.
We were a swimming family.
I'll commend it doesn't have red hair.
He has blonde hair.
Whatever.
Yeah.
You know, he's got a red shirt on.
Wait, is it.
Can we talk about how you're a swimming family?
Who in your family swims?
I swam and my older brother swam.
I set the record for the whatever 25 meters when I was six years old.
But then I stopped.
Oh, when you were six years old.
I was like, I thought you did wrestling in high school.
Oh, yeah.
We didn't have a swimming pool in high school.
It wasn't that wealthy of a school.
But I think that Aquaman.
is a great character, and he's a hero.
But, yeah, I see lighten up a little bit.
Yeah, lighten up a little bit.
Yeah, and I actually have a red carpet blind item.
Ooh, let's hear it.
What red carpet host intentionally wore lifts in his shoes
because he didn't want to stand on a box when interviewing people.
That is embarrassing.
Okay, Ryan Seacrest.
You got it.
I was about to, yeah, that is a given.
Yeah, he's a small man, you know
He's not a scary force by any means
He's not that small, he's 5-7
Yeah, 5-7's fine
Oh yeah, I mean, there's all the wrong with it
I think he just got, I think he just broke up
With his woman too
Which, interesting, we know what the blind items say
Yeah, we do that
Oh, just all kinds of weird
You know, weirdest thing we've ever read about
Brian Seacrest as far as the blind item goes
Is he never wears the same pair of underwear twice
Really?
Yeah, yeah.
Such a waste.
Apparently the gym, the guys that go to the gym with him,
they say there's always pairs of underwear in the trash can
because he'll just wear a pair of underwear and then throw it away.
Interesting.
I like it.
Yeah.
I'll wear a pair of underwear four or five years.
No, I know that, but I mean, I like that.
He's got class.
I don't know if that's class.
I don't know.
I don't think it is because I wear underwear until it's like, okay,
I'm like holding this up while I wear it.
I guess I should get rid of this.
Right.
No, I do the same thing.
thing, but, you know, he's a very wealthy celebrity.
And there are some folks who don't wear the same outfit twice.
Weird.
You know, so.
I mean, that's why we all love Tiffany Haddish when she got, she bought the like $4,000
dress that she keeps wearing to a bunch of different things.
And now it's just like, kind of jokes.
She's like, I spent $4,000 on this dress.
I'm going to wear it a lot.
Yeah.
Yes, absolutely.
But also, speaking of lots of fun performances, we got to talk about Gagga and Bradley Cooper.
Oh my goodness.
I was surprised how much I enjoyed it.
Because I'd never heard that song.
I mean, it sounds just like a national song.
But it's a really good song.
And it was a very good performance.
I think that Lady Gaga is immensely talented.
She's pretty talented.
She really is.
And I love her.
Now, apparently, I am in love with her.
I am in love.
I really am.
But apparently, I don't know what's going on with that Bradley Cooper stuff.
I think they fell in love on the set of a star is born.
Is that what you think?
I think that's what happened.
I mean, so everyone, of course, is all like squawking and squeaking about how they must be having sex with each other.
No one has ever heard of acting before in their entire life.
They're like, look at these two people, the way they look at each other and the way that they sing at each other.
It's almost as if they play acted for about six months of being in love with each other.
Right? Maybe they got good at it.
This ain't no movie.
I can't be a movie. I can't be acting.
There ain't no movie.
That's in front of me on the screen.
I know that.
I know they be kissing on each other.
They might be kissing on each other.
You know, that happens.
It does.
Actors are very emotionally sensitive and available.
Whoa.
When you're faking to be in love with someone for six months, it's got to seep in somewhat.
Mm-hmm.
You know, that's why, I mean, I could have heard, you know, these actors, they're out there doing hardcore sex scenes.
with each other and then you're the significant other
and you're just sitting there watching it like a cuck
it's ridiculous it's ridiculous
I know I can't
I mean I know that I'm assuming I will never play
some sort of romantic lead in anything anytime soon
I can't imagine having to go through that like making outs
like you can't like can a person make out with Lady Gaga
and not get either juicy or hard
how do you make out with somebody I know
with it, it's like acting and stuff like that, but like, you're, it's a blood flow thing. If I'm
making out with somebody, I'm going to get moist in my nether's. Oh my goodness, Jackie.
Don't worry. It will never happen. No one wants to watch we make out and or have fake sex with
another human being. Well, I don't know. Who knows what the roles are ahead.
Honestly, you never know. You never know. But yeah. Unless you were listening to this and want to
offer me a role like that in which I will do it. Absolutely. Yeah, I don't know how that works.
I mean, how do you fake kiss like that?
I don't know how to fake the kiss.
I'm not sure.
I did it in high school.
Yeah?
Yeah, yeah, for a play.
I had to make out on.
It was picnic.
You weren't a play?
Yeah, I did acting all throughout high school.
What was it called?
Marcus, I didn't know this.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I was the lead.
In picnic?
Picnic, yeah.
There was only 11 people in your grade.
Yeah, I know.
How many?
How high school?
The whole high school.
Yeah, I did one act play every single.
single year. Yeah, but I was in the Diviners
Picnic. One
where I played an old fat Italian man
who had a, he was pretending to be dead.
I have known you for a
decade and you never
mentioned you did theater in high school.
Yeah. Is it a shame thing?
Are you ashamed? No, not at all. You just never
mentioned it. I guess it just never came up. Yeah, I did theater
all throughout high school. We have worked with you
for so many years
and didn't know this. Did not know that? I thought
I told you guys. Yeah. No. Yeah,
I was the lead. Look at that.
in two place.
How did they turn you into a big fat Italian man?
Pillows.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
I remember when Henry played Mr. Mushnik and Little Shop of Horrors.
But the thing is that even in high school, they didn't have too much to make him into an old man.
April Fish, that's what it was called.
April Fish.
Yeah, that was the one that I played the old fat Italian man.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, I had a tooth.
Oh, my God, I have a toothache.
Wow.
Wow.
Now that is some Texas high school.
Wonderful play.
Completely acceptable.
Yeah, won a couple awards.
Really?
What was the award?
Best actor.
Cool.
Wow, congrats.
Yeah, we won a couple of competitions.
Very cool.
Yeah.
Okay.
Do you have like some sort of medal that maybe you could take a picture with?
Like, I feel like you should be celebrating yourself more.
All these things are back home and boxes.
Okay.
Far away, far away.
Was it best actor or just, no, it was All-Star cast.
My buddy Eddie, he got best actor.
Oh, he was a great actor.
Eddie Redmayed.
I didn't know you went to school together, but he is a classic, classically trained actor.
All-starcast, who is that...
Never bring up Eddie Redmayne in front of Henry, though.
Man, does Henry really truly hate Eddie Redmayne?
There's no reason for it.
He's great in Leibis.
He has a series of grudges of people he's never met.
I don't like Eddie Redmayne.
Why not?
Terrible and Fantastic Beasts.
That movie was terrible anyway, but he was terrible.
It was rough.
Definitely terrible.
The worst part of it.
All right.
I don't know.
That's what he does.
That's what he does.
That's his whole thing.
I hate that thing.
But he's great and lame is.
He's perfect.
I mean, that's exactly like he was supposed to be.
Because Marius was always the one that I was in love with.
So it made sense that he was just like that.
Oh, a foppish little.
Oh, I don't know about me.
No, you go to her.
Oh, she'll love with me.
Is she in love with me?
Terrible.
I mean, they're British.
He's just British.
Yeah, yeah.
He does have a weird face.
But I like him.
I like his weird little face.
All right, very good.
But anyway, so there's a lot of problems with the seat,
which why people brought up the seating arrangement at the Oscars.
Uh-oh.
It was Bradley Cooper and then his hot Russian model girlfriend,
Arena Shake.
Shake, I don't know how to say it.
Arena, arena!
She's gorgeous.
And I'm sure she's cold as ice.
And then next to her was Lady Gaga.
So they're like, how, I can't believe that they put her in between the two.
them, but that's how the seating goes at the Oscars.
It's the person that is up for the Oscar.
They're plus one.
And then the person, but, you know, most of these rumors came about because Lady Gaga just
ended her engagement with her fella after two years.
Oh, I did not know that.
There was a lot of problems.
I mean, what are we talking here?
How serious is the relationship between Gaga and Cooper?
Are they going to get together, you think?
Well, she came out on Jimmy Kimmel and was just like, hey, we're acting.
That's it.
That's all that's happening.
But I don't know, guys.
I think it's a fun thing to think about, though.
In this time period where there's all these mean negative things out there, isn't it nice to think about a forbidden romance?
Well, but what about the girl?
Yeah.
She's a model.
She'll be fine.
She's so hot.
I'm sure she would be.
But it was weird, though, because I thought that Lady Gaga didn't even look like herself
because you look at her at the Grammys a couple of weeks ago,
and she was in this amazing silver sequin dress.
And I don't know if it was just her spray tan or what it was,
but she looked weird at the Oscars.
She looked very orange.
She looked extreme.
Both her and Bradley Cooper looked very orange together.
Hmm.
Interesting.
Maybe that was a choice?
I don't know.
Maybe it was, yeah, it could have been a choice.
That happens.
Yeah, it looks good in real life and it doesn't translate well on camera.
Sometimes you look orange.
The super orange look.
People do it.
That's why you don't go for the spray tan.
Gaga just, she reinvents herself every week.
Oh, yeah.
And that's what she's so great at.
I love Lady Gaga.
I've got Lady Gaga up there on a pedestal with Miley Cyrus.
I think they are both amazing and that they can just change who they are whenever they want to try out something new.
I love it.
Because it's like Lady Gaga just toured with Tony Bennett.
You know, it's like doing like classic, amazing music.
She can do whatever the fuck she wants.
And also, isn't that what we want from artists?
Isn't that like exactly what we need?
Is it something that she's like, just keep trying new things?
Absolutely.
Yeah.
Yep.
Yep.
That's what Tim Conway did with Dorff.
What was it?
Dorff.
Dorff goes golfing.
Dorff goes golfing.
Now, the interesting thing is Tim Conway, normal size.
Yeah.
And then he would just make himself Dorff.
which was really phenomenal.
Yeah, Dorf on golf, Dorf on football.
Oh, wow.
What are you talking about, Dorf?
Oh, you know what Dorf is.
Dorff was a humorous VHS tape
that was sold in late-night infomercials
in which a man named Tim Conway
would put shoes on his knees
and then walk around.
I know Tim Conway, but this is,
I just look this up.
This is ridiculous.
You've never, I can't believe you've never heard of Dorff.
I'm sure your father loved it.
I guarantee you.
Your dad loved Dorf on golf.
Eight movies he did with Dorff.
He's a genius.
What? Is this like the earnest of the late 80s?
It's a bit.
He's a classically trained actor.
Tim Conk, anyway, it doesn't matter.
We don't have to go down the Dorff train.
We definitely can. Please teach me.
I feel like these are things I need to know about.
Jackie, you already know all of it.
He puts shoes on his knees and he's Dorf and he plays golf.
That's it.
They would always, they'd just find holes, and then he'd stand in the hole, and then they'd put shoes on the knees, and that way he never had to move.
He didn't have to sit on his knees, so they'd dig holes in the ground, and Tim Kama would stand in the hole.
Oh, there you go, a little behind the scenes.
That's brilliant.
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But no, I agree.
Miley is one of my faves as well.
She's high on the pedestal of people that I love as well.
She's great.
Oh, yeah.
And now that she's all married off to, I would watch that fucking tape.
Good Lord in heaven.
Well, isn't it, what is it, Liam Hemsworth?
Yeah, the Hemsworths, man.
Put me in a fucking Hemsworth sandwich.
I'll be the Jackie Loaf.
Whoa.
Yeah, I'm saying it.
I'm fucking saying it right now.
But that's kind of an interesting thing, you know, the fascination with twins.
Uh-huh.
Because they're brother and sister, or sister and sister or brother and brother.
It's kind of gross.
No, I don't think that they, I think that they're like a couple of years apart.
But they're still siblings.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, you're not supposed to fuck both of them.
I know that that's illegal in the pornographic industry.
Right? Is that still illegal?
It's still illegal, yeah. I mean, they do,
they play act a lot. They do
with that, yes. I mean, that's why
that is the acting,
which is why Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper
aren't fucking each other. We all know.
We all know they're not.
And I think, but also, good for them
for keeping up because you know that they're putting a Star
is Born back into the theaters with like extra
footage. Really?
Which, man, they're really trying to make
that money off of it. Well, now, I heard
there was a controversy with a Star is
born, they were saying that Bradley Cooper's character was too important.
Huh.
They said that a woman can do it without a man.
That's what they were saying.
I didn't see it.
I didn't see it either.
But apparently some people said it's like Lady Gaga's character wouldn't be anything without
Bradley Cooper.
And then some people were like, she could do it on her own.
She doesn't need the coop.
And so I don't know.
I mean, I have no idea what the complaint is.
Personally, I feel that it's beyond gender stereotypes.
I think that she just needed someone to inspire her.
Oh.
You know, it's like it was, it's just, it's just a romance.
I think no matter what gender's there or anything, it's like, yeah, most, like, you shouldn't need.
It's like, not you shouldn't, but a lot of people don't need other people to, to push them forward, to want more to like push themselves into places that are difficult for them.
But it happens sometimes.
And no matter what it is, I don't think it has anything to do personally with gender.
It's just, it's a romance.
I know it, a very good one, apparently.
Apparently.
Okay.
I really want to see the Chris Christopherson,
Barbara Streisand version,
because I don't know if you guys are aware.
This is the third telling of this story.
Really?
Yeah, I watched some of it.
The other, some of the Chris Christopher.
Carolina was watching the Chris Christopherson
Barbara Streisand version.
What did Carolina think?
She liked it, and it was fun to see Chris Christopherson be all drunk
and, you know, throw a whiskey bottle through a radio DJ's window.
He's the best.
He is the best.
That's the only scene that I saw, but it looks.
Looked like a lot of fun.
Chris Christofferson is my celebrity cheat.
He is the best.
He's a man.
Although now is he still around.
Yeah.
Chris Christopherson is definitely still alive.
Oh my God.
I would fucking suck on the sweat of his guitar.
He's a good daddy.
He's a sexy daddy.
Yeah, I mean, he's playing Stanford, Connecticut next month.
Really?
All right.
Yeah, good for him.
Actually, he's got a 25-date tour coming up.
Good for him.
Ooh, I want to go.
I feel like it's like he's in my brain of like a Jeff Bridges as well.
It's like those are like, you know, gilfs.
Those are granddaddies I'd like to fuck.
Yeah, no, absolutely.
Yep, he's one of the best also.
Jeff Bridges.
I don't know, I don't have the same thoughts about that that you do.
I understand.
I just remember golf daddy on like our second date was just like,
he's like, I feel like I'm going to cut to five years from now
and I'm just going to look like Jeff Bridges for the rest of my life.
And I was like, okay.
Yes, please.
Oh, my.
Man, I'm getting myself all horned up over here.
I got to cool out.
Cool out of them.
Get your ice water.
Pour it down.
Oh, I got it.
You know what will get me fucking cooled off hardcore?
Talking about Adam Lambert doing a queen documentary that's coming out to ABC this spring.
So I know that you guys watch the Oscars.
They did the Queen Adam Lambert.
So Adam Lambert has been traveling with Queen as the state, like as the front man.
Okay.
Can I just say this?
He really kind of skeaves me out.
He skeaves me out so hard.
I saw him on the red carpet.
I don't know what's going.
It's something with the makeup.
The makeup and all the shit in his ears.
He just makes me feel like like JFK, the movie JFK when the John Cane,
he was painted gold.
And I'm like, what is happening?
Like, I don't know what it is about him, but I just feel like something's behind those
eyes.
Yeah, yeah.
He skeeves me out too.
Just a little skeevy, but I don't know.
Actually, this actually makes me feel really good because I don't think I've ever talked
aloud to anyone about Adam Lambert, but he really rubs me the wrong way.
Yeah.
I didn't like that guy.
I didn't like that queen performance at the beginning.
He might be an extremely nice guy.
I don't know.
So if you are listening, Mr. Lambert, I don't want to be mean.
And I'm sure he might be.
He might be.
You never know.
But yeah, I don't know why that.
I just get a strange impression by him.
Yeah, I do too.
I just feel like it's like at this point, like everybody cool out.
It's like it's making me not want to listen to Queen, which I've always listened to.
It's always been in my rotation of music.
So now they're coming out with a documentary about Adam Lambert, a part of Queen for ABC.
And it's just like, stop.
Everybody stop.
Everyone's stop.
Yeah.
What is going on with the Queen?
estate. Did somebody get broke or something? And then they're just, they have to make a bunch of
cash by sort of, I don't want to, by, by what is it, I don't want to say prostituting, the great
Freddie Mercury. But kind of selling everything. Selling out of Freddie Mercury more. I wonder,
I don't even know if Freddie Mercury would be happy with these performances. Yeah. I mean,
I don't know. Why would I watch an Adam Lampert documentary about Queen? I just want to watch a
queen documentary about Queen. Yeah. It doesn't make any sense. And that's a, that's what's so interesting
too because like as we all know it's like with the um the queen movie that just you know
were rami malik won and it's all these amazing things but like sasha baron cohen was
originally supposed to play freddie mercury really one of the executive producers of the movie
and he left because they weren't doing what they had set out to do to tell the freddie mercury
story right and sasha baron Cohen was actually going to sing all of the music which i'm not
going to hold it against rami malick that's not he doesn't sing he doesn't sing
That's not his thing.
But, like, I really wanted to see that version of the movie.
Yeah.
Honestly, that would have been incredible.
I think that Sasha could have pulled it off.
He's really remarkable.
He is so talented.
He is, and he didn't like where the story was going
and didn't like what they were doing with it,
which is why he pulled himself from the project.
And ever since, I'm kind of against all of it.
I know that's a horrible thing.
No.
It puts a bad taste in my mouth.
I wanted to see Sasha Baron Cohen to do it.
Well, there's a great documentary about Queen on iTunes.
called Queen and it's awesome and you
actually see Freddie Mercury. And Bohemian
Rhapsody's fun. Like I'd watch
it again like I liked it. Yeah.
I liked it. It is a fun
movie. It's just in my entire
time my brain was just like
but you imagine if Sasha Baron Cohen was doing this.
You imagine how great that would be like
I know he did a great job but
I just to me it would have been more fun.
I mean Sasha Baron Cohen has
he has balls of steel.
Yeah. It's crazy. That
what is it? This is America.
The things that he does, I could never transport my brain into a place where I could get someone to blow up people at a women's march.
No.
Like he just is so good.
Did you see it, Jackie?
No, wait, is this like the, what's his name, Darren Chris?
No, it's called This Is America.
That's the Sacha Baron Cohen little docu series thing.
It's great.
Should I watch it?
Yes.
Who is America?
Who is America?
He did get in trouble, though, right?
Wasn't he, like, wasn't he going too far or something?
No, not really.
He got, he busted a pedophile ring, though.
What?
Which that was pretty cool.
Yeah, busted a pet.
I had a hotel, right?
Yeah, because he played this wealthy, wealthy European dude.
And he's like, I want to get some kids, like, super young.
And then the guy was like, we can do that.
And then he went to the FBI and was like, this boy, this man knows how to get some boys.
Whoa, that's insane.
Yeah.
I think it was in Vegas, right?
Something like that.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Man, what happens in Vegas shouldn't stay in Vegas.
No, not when it comes to that.
No.
But I'm going to really switch gears here because I feel the need that we have to talk about this because this is, these are two people that have really, they are the part of the backbone of page seven.
Yes.
And I'm talking about John Travolta and Shania Twain.
Oh.
Yes.
Two people that we have spent countless time talk, like countless hours talking about.
about on this show.
Okay, get some little Twain love.
Yeah, because man, I want to talk about this movie called Trading Paint,
which is Shania Twain's first movie.
And she plays the love interest of John Travolta doing a horrible southern accent as a race driver.
It's so bad.
So bad, in fact, that we would like everyone to hear.
So we're going to watch the trailer.
And you can hear, it's John Travolta, Tom Seismore is in this as well.
Oh, wow.
And Shania Twain.
So this is called Trading Paint?
Trading paint.
And he's a race car driver.
Okay.
But he's a race car driver down on his lock.
Oh, okay.
Who is he?
It wasn't been Sam.
Five, six years since you even won a race.
Oh, man, look at them.
It's been a long time since you was somebody.
Jack.
Good him.
Hey, don't take my word for it.
I've asked your son.
Oh, man, this son's so sexy.
Oh!
He hit a guy.
I told him not to push.
I want to win racist.
I want to be a champion, but that's something I'll never be racist.
I can't wait.
I just don't know what to do about him.
You guys will figure it out.
Shania!
You got a whole bunch of talents, son.
Come on up and talk to him.
Oh man.
Excepted an offer from Balinski.
I'm not going to race few anymore.
No, knock it off the table again.
He loves knocking shit off a table for this movie.
Camp and Roe in the lead with a new car on a new crew.
Dirty damn shame.
I got an idea.
Why don't you and me go racing?
What?
He's going to get back.
He's born to drive.
Oh, built to win.
I'll do it.
That loser, Bob Metscape, right off the credit.
Anything for a fan.
Did he just break a bowling ball?
You want to win that championship?
I don't want to leave you.
Tell you something.
No half-ass measure.
We'll do it, right.
John Travolta, Shania Twain, Toby Sebastian,
Michael Madsen with Kevin Dunn.
Yeah.
Trading
Pate!
You are out of your mind.
Wow.
Oh my God.
Look at the sexy.
Oh, oh.
You know what I'm going to say?
I'm going to see it.
You're right?
Yeah.
I am going to watch the fuck out of it.
Got you.
Shania looks great.
Apparently she puts on some of the best shows of any musician working today.
That's what I hear.
Then Jackie can attest.
Oh, she puts on an amazing show.
And we did see her farewell show about six years ago.
and man is she's still touring.
Oh, wow.
Yeah, John Travolta, he's really laying on that southern accent as thick as his acting abilities allow.
What level of celebrity is Travolta at?
Trevolta's A.
Is he an A-less star?
But he hasn't done anything, like, big.
He's established, though.
He's established.
Oh, yeah.
Well, I would say he's A-minus.
He's an A-minus.
Yeah, and he'll always be A-minus.
Everyone always knows who John Travolta is.
I know they know who he is, but,
I'm just wondering if that makes him a great actor.
He's never left the consciousness.
He's always been around.
I know that.
He is an actor.
I remember how many nights that Henry tried to,
like, we would just be cheved out of our brains.
Like, let's watch Goddy.
You want to watch Goddy?
I'm like, I don't even know if I can.
I believe it's still to this day
has 0% on Rotten Tomatoes.
Really?
But although he has transformed his look
and now, rather than using the, like,
what's it called?
Hair.
What is it?
Hair plugs.
Hair plugs.
He's just keeping the bald with the beard.
And you know what?
Daddy alert, he looks fantastic.
Yes.
I mean, that was the thing that everyone made fun of him for for years.
Yeah.
Was the weird hair.
Yeah, the weird hair, the weird plugs,
and how he'd show up sometimes without any hair or any plugs at all.
And then the next day he'd have, you know, full head of hair.
Yeah.
But now he's just going, he's going straight bald.
And maybe this will help.
Maybe this is baby steps towards him, really, etc.
who he is. Could be, man. Could be. I think he has a daughter. I'm pretty sure. And she was the one who convinced him to get rid of the hair plugs. Yeah. That's why you got to have kids. Because at some point, you're just become a 60 year old totally out of touch. And you just need a 20 year old to be like, you look ridiculous at. Yeah. And I think that's what's what happened. Oh, my God. Do we all need to have children to tell us when we're not cool anymore?
No, that's phase two of what's going on now, Jackie. That's the thing with all this marriage phase two is the kids. Yeah. And now I've got to be taking care of people's kids.
I don't know if anyone's going to ask you to take care of their kids.
I can't be like, go to Uncle Kissel's house.
And you'd be like, I don't know.
Do you want a beer?
I will never give a child a beer.
They drink milk.
That's beer for babies.
No, I'm pretty good with kids.
I'm actually pretty good with them.
I worked at a daycare at the YMCA.
Yeah.
So I'm pretty good with them.
I work at daycare as well.
Wait, wait, you both worked at daycares?
Yeah.
When I was in college, I would do it during the summer.
And then, of course, we had foster kids, and then I was always around the kids growing up.
Yeah, I worked at a daycare in college as well.
What were you guys in charge of in the daycare and college?
I was in charge of 26, 5 to 7-year-olds.
I was in charge of, well, I was one of four teachers, and yeah, they were like 5 to 7,
but I took care of the fat kid named Matt, who was so cute, but he was like 150 pounds.
And like 5 years old.
He was huge, and people made fun of him.
was so cute though. I mean, honestly, I hope his parents cut, cut down a little bit on the burgers.
Yeah, the burgers in the center. Because I think it would be very unhealthy. He's probably super buffed now,
though. That's how it works. I hope so. That's how it works. I don't know, does it work? I remember
in my softball, like, they would take like all the softball pictures, and I remember I was eight years old,
and I took a softball picture, and they were like, they made little trading cards out of it on the
back and had your stats. So I lied about my weight. That was when I first started lying about my weight.
eight years old that my mom encouraged me to lie and I said I was 80 pounds and I knew I wasn't 80 pounds.
I was about 125 at eight years old and there's no way I was and I found it when I was back home.
I think it was like two times ago and I looked at this trading card.
It was just like, man, been lying about my weight since what does that make me?
1995.
I mean, you know, Jackie, you can't just take a total, you can't take a third off of your weight.
That's like a, that's too big of a lot.
You got to take it down 10 to 15 pounds.
Yeah, 10 to 15 is fine.
No one's going to ask questions about that.
Yeah, I'm surprised you didn't up your weight a little bit.
Intimidate.
Yeah, I mean, let them know.
I was intimidating enough.
I was already harassing everyone on the team.
Everyone, no one liked me.
Well, that's fine.
I mean, it's softball, you know, it's a serious game of guts.
Is it?
Yeah, I like softball.
All I know is that in high school, my thighs were made out of steel.
You fucking, you get yourself a catcher woman,
because she's ready for anything.
I'm sorry, I'm still stuck in trading paint
inside of my head.
Of course. It sounds great.
My milkshakes bring all the boys to the yard
and they're like, it's better than yours.
And if you're a milkshake is keeping you thick with boys,
you better be taking care of them newneys,
and that's where simple health comes in.
Give up the waiting rooms and pharmacy lines,
get birth control renewed and delivered to you on your schedule.
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All right, start for the list.
What?
Who's our list?
Oh my God, it's Marcus.
Hello.
Gotta have our list.
It's celebrities with weird
food and drink habits.
Uh-oh.
It's all kinds of weird shit these people are doing.
You know, Chrissy Teagan?
I do.
She licks the seasoning off chips and then puts them back.
All of the flavor, none of the calories.
My brother used to eat all of the white frosting out of an Oreo and then put them back.
And I didn't know that Oreos had frosting until I was like 10 years old.
I would eat them after he licked them.
But I didn't even know because then he would just put them back.
And I was like, it's weird.
There's not a lot of frosting.
And it turns out it was all in my brother's stuff.
Man, I remember that was one of, that's one of my sister's favorite stories to tell is when Henry,
because my sister's a lot older than, than Henry and I are, and Henry would sit in between them.
He must have four or five, and she would have dates come over, but she would always had to watch the two of us,
and she was so much older than us.
So she would have dates come over when my parents were out of town or, or out for the night.
And Henry would sit in between them, and if they ever had pretzels or chips or something like that,
he would suck off all the salt and put him back into the bowl.
So then like also so you have a number one you're in your teenage years and you have a four-year-old sitting in between you and your high school boyfriend and that four-year-old is just sucking everything off and then putting it back into the bowl and then when my sister would be like reach in to eat something, she'd be like, why are they all wet Henry?
Henry, Henry Thomas, why are they all wet? And he's just like, I don't know. I don't know why they're wet. And it's like you could, she's watching him suck all the salt off of them.
Well, she shouldn't be digging her hands in then.
I mean, you're seeing the guy suck all the salt off of it.
I mean, get a new bag.
Yeah, get a new bag.
Don't let the little boy have the bag.
Give him his own separate bowl.
Oh, my goodness.
Nicholas Cage only eats animals that have what he calls dignified sex.
Now, what does that mean?
He says, birds, they have dignified sex.
Wait, how?
They don't have dignified sex.
How does he know that?
It's what his perception is.
No, but what do birds?
I mean, like ducks, they got the corkscrew thing going on.
Really bizarre.
Negalus Cage believes it to be.
I don't know if he eats a duck, though, but chickens have dignified sex.
So, therefore.
How do they?
Like, because it's not like a hippogriff.
It's not like they're bowing before them before they have sex.
So I don't understand what, it's like, I mean, I guess does that mean humans don't have dignified sex, right?
I think we can.
I guess it just depends on the night.
I don't know.
But I feel like, I feel like under these.
He's, like, under this clause,
Nicholas Cage would eat human beings, right?
I could see Nicholas Cage doing that.
Yeah, I love him.
He says fish also have dignified sex.
But they don't really have sex, I thought.
Don't they mostly spray the eggs?
Spray it out and then fertilize.
And then comes on it.
Yeah, but, huh, okay.
Yeah.
Interesting.
Dignified sex, Nicholas Cage.
But also, like, how are pigs,
how do pigs not have dignified sex?
It's just because they, like, climb on top.
He does not specify.
He moved on from the topic pretty fast.
Okay.
Because I think he knows that there's absolutely no weight to this whatsoever.
But everybody's got their own theories inside of their head.
Nicholas Cage, he's a creative.
He's a creative.
Catherine Zeta Jones uses strawberries as toothpaste.
Why?
Is that good for you?
I don't know.
She says she uses a puree of strawberries and baking soda to keep her teeth healthy.
Okay.
All right.
But what about the six?
I can't imagine the seeds are good for your teeth.
What is that?
Catherine Zeta Jones is a weird bird.
Yeah, she is.
You know who else is weird?
Ringo.
Never eaten pizza.
Ringo Starr.
Ringo Starr's never eaten pizza.
What do you mean he's never eating pizza?
He's never eaten pizza or onions.
Really?
Never eaten pizza or onions.
Why not?
How?
He didn't want to.
You know, Ringo is the best.
He's my favorite beetle.
He's the best beetle.
What are you talking about?
You're just being a contrarian.
The Beatles. He's the backbone. He's the cornerstone.
And Ringo win his solo career, he was fun.
Yeah. His solo career was fun. We hear it sometimes on serious radio. Ringo starts.
I honestly don't even know if it was just a joke between our, or if it was actually said, I want to say that it was like John, not, probably not John Lennon, but someone said it was like, it's like, Ringo isn't the best drama. Hell, he isn't even the best drama in the Beatles.
Yeah, that was John or Paul.
They said it in an interview, yeah.
Yeah?
Well, he's also making a shitload of money.
So whatever.
And he's the only one's still alive, so good on you.
And Paul, of course.
Paul McCartney's still out there living his best life.
That he is.
Ringo and Paul.
Oh, yeah, I forget Paul McCartney's still.
Yeah, I guess he's still alive, huh?
See, I was always a George girl, you know?
Oh, every, everyone was a George girl.
I mean, he was a charming guy.
My mom's a George girl.
You know what's amazing is.
Uh-oh.
I'm sorry.
I'm a horny.
I'm all horned up.
I know. Everyone from the Rolling Stones is still alive.
Isn't that remarkable?
Except for Brian Jones.
Oh, Brian Jones.
Now, what happened to him?
He drowned.
He did.
Yeah, long time ago.
He did.
So does each band choose, like, with how, it's like with Queen, aren't there
only, like, two living members or maybe three living members left?
Right?
Three, yeah.
Three out of the four.
So does each specific, like, like, each individual band choose, how many members have to be left
to still call it the band?
or is it like an overall consensus?
It's usually whoever owns the rights to the band name.
Because there are certain bands that will tour with just one member.
I think Leonard Skinner is still touring, and I'm pretty sure they're all dead.
Yeah, I don't think they have.
I think there might be a couple of like original members left in Leonard Skinner.
But yeah, sometimes you'll have bands that tour with a completely different lineup.
It's just someone happens to own the name.
And they still play and they still sing.
It's the same with Three Dog Night, not too long ago.
I saw Three Dog Night perform about 15 years ago at some sort of county fair in Florida.
And it was great.
But I think back then they only had three of the members.
And I saw recently that they're also touring again.
And I believe they only have one member left alive.
Wow.
Can you call it the band?
It's like, yeah, anyone can play the music, but it's not the band anymore.
No, I wouldn't go see it.
Yeah, you can call it that just as long as people are paying for the tickets.
I guess so.
I guess so.
No, I want to see them when they're all still around.
You know?
Yeah, I've got to see Neil Young.
Got to see Willie Nelson soon.
You do.
Oh, Willie's great.
Time is a ticking on that one.
You have to get on it.
I mean, I know that you guys missed out in all of a Henry and I's Elton John talk,
but Henry took me to see Elton John for the farewell tour,
and it was an amazing fucking experience.
I can't believe that I got to see him.
I cried through most of it.
I mean, Henry made my dream come true.
That's great, Jackie.
All right, stop for blind on her!
Oh, we can't see him!
This first one's gross.
Okay.
Okay.
This permanent A-list movie actress,
who really doesn't act much any longer,
made sure she was in the room the first time her son had sex
to make sure the hired help didn't try to take the condom off her son.
Wait, we, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait a second.
The hired help?
The hired help.
the woman that she hired to take her son's virginity.
And, oh my.
I'm wondering if she was worried about a Schwarzenegger incident, right?
Could be.
This reminds me of, did you ever see the Bunny Ranch?
Yeah, no.
That documentary about the Bunny Oran.
That was great.
There was one episode where a mom brought her kid in and he was a little touched.
Yeah.
And she wanted him to lose his virginity.
and she sat there the entire time
as this woman is like starting to pet on him
and then like he is just naked now with this woman
and his mom is just there
and I'm like this is the creepiest thing
I have ever seen in my entire life
it reminds me of that
I don't know what that
what is that idea
like what is that thing that mother
I think this is not that uncommon
I would say it's uncommon
it's uncommon but I've heard of it before
yeah it happens
who do you think it is
Oh, okay, so it's an A-list person.
A-list.
Doesn't, hasn't done a movie in a long time.
Try directing for a little bit, but it didn't really work out.
Ooh, try directing for a little bit, didn't work out.
Mm-hmm.
Just went through a nasty, you're still going through a nasty divorce.
Huh.
I wonder if it's because of the six-men.
Wait, it's a woman, though, right?
It's a woman.
Angelina Jolie.
Yeah, that, yeah.
Angelina Jolene.
Yeah.
But also, what, but of course, I.
She had that.
little love affair with her brother.
Remember that back in the day.
Speaking of red carpets.
They made out on the red carpet.
That's right.
Yes.
I mean, this is what happens when John Voits your father.
He is a bad daddy.
It's not like he is a completely a bad daddy.
Although I did recently see a picture of Angelie and Jolie with all of her kids all grown up.
And they're all grown up.
Wow.
It's insane.
It just happens.
It just happens sometimes.
Especially like when the kids,
she tries to kind of keep them out.
of the spotlight, which I do, you know, I think that that's, I think that's a nice touch,
but also don't watch them.
Fuck.
No, I wouldn't recommend that.
I don't even know if her and Brad Pitt were ever really together.
Yeah.
I don't think that they were.
It seemed a little weird.
It seemed a little weird.
I think Brad Pitt was like, why are we continuing to adopt all these kids?
I don't want any of this.
Yeah.
It just, Brad Pitt never seemed into it to me anyway.
Not really.
But I don't know.
Well, here's our other one today, and this is a Scientology item.
Uh-oh.
This upcoming divorce between a former A-List singer and his wife is going to cause shockwaves throughout the cult-like religion as people would be forced to take sides, which is going to lead to some serious fault lines.
Ooh, I'm going to go with Beck.
You're right.
Woo-hoo!
Wow.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Born and raised in the cult.
He's into it.
So he's going to stay in Scientology.
Well, both of them are going to stay in Scientology because he was, he was.
He was married to Marissa Ribisi, Giovanni Rubisi's sister.
Oh.
The Ribisi's have been lifelong Scientology.
They're also second generation.
And that's why I had to give up on Giovanni Ribisi because I love Giovanni Verisi.
We can't want to have sex with him.
He's in a bad cult.
Okay.
Yeah.
But apparently they're getting divorced and people are having to take sides.
And it's going to cause a big rift among the celebrity cultists.
Oh, right.
Interesting.
It would be nice if they could spill the beans in public.
Oh, that would be great.
They'll do private meetings, I guess.
I have no idea what a Scientology divorce is.
I don't know either.
It's probably super weird.
Well, also, I read a blind item that one of the Oscar after parties, people are already taking sides.
Juliet Lewis, taking a side, because she's another one of the big celebrity Scientologists.
And I love Juliette Lewis.
I love her.
She's great.
No, she is great.
She is.
In natural born killers.
She's great, natural born killers.
So good.
The other sister, not so much.
Well, I mean, you know, they should have done the movie about the other other sister.
Love the other sister.
The whole love affair with Scientology is just, it is a total.
It turns me off.
I think she's also a life.
Isn't she also a second generation Scientology?
She is a lifer.
Yeah.
But aren't kids supposed to rebel against their parents who raise them in crazy cults?
Isn't that like normal to do?
Well, I saw some, I saw firsthand some Scientology kids getting indoctrinated.
It was intense to see because remember last time we were in L.A.
The time before that, me and Henry went to the museum of psychiatry, which is a Scientology
front.
And there were these girls behind us.
There were all teenagers.
And me and Henry, we're, you know, of course, we're goofing the entire time.
We're having a good fun time.
Right, of course.
But these girls looked terrified and they took all of it as gospel.
And we also got them in trouble when we asked them to take a picture of us.
Oh, that was bad.
Yeah, yes, that was bad.
I think we got them in trouble.
I felt bad about that.
But it's hard because I feel like I have such a soft spot for the ones.
It's like Elizabeth Moss that are the lifers that grew up with it and it's hard to get out of.
I mean, watch what Katie Holmes had to go through.
And she had so much money and was constantly in the spotlight.
And it was still difficult for her to get out of.
And she was just married into it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So it's a very scary idea.
And it's hard for me.
It's like when people talk against Elizabeth Moss and all that kind of stuff,
it's like,
but I can't be angry with her that if I was raised in something that I was so fearful of leaving,
how do you choose to leave it?
Your whole life is ruined.
And they'll send the squirrel busters at you.
Yeah.
Squirrel busters?
Is that like a nuts thing?
It's a Scientology thing where they'll send people out,
like they'll send like a gang stalking group
called the squirrel busters.
Yeah, they wear little squirrels on their shirt
and they say, you're a traitor.
And then they yell at you a bunch.
Yeah, they'll stalk them. They'll try to ruin their lives.
But I would say if you grew up in Scientology,
rebel like I did growing up against religion
and then you can just get out of it.
You gotta get out.
Yeah, you got to get out.
Some people like the structure.
Yeah, some people do like the structure.
And it's also, it's getting out of any kind of cult like that,
like Scientology or Mormonism or anything like that,
Like your entire life is wrapped up in that structure.
And if you leave, like, you're done because they make it where if, you know,
if someone leaves, they are now cut out of your life.
So, you know, you lose your family.
Right.
Yeah.
They say it's a mini suicide when you leave the cult.
Okay.
Good Lord.
I mean, huh.
And that's what we got for today.
Oh, right.
There it is.
We're not a fun.
No, we didn't even get to talk about Luke Perry having a stroke and being in the hospital because I am very, very, very.
upset about it, but I, we wish him all the best.
It'll be okay.
Fred Andrews is tough.
I hope so.
He'll make it through.
My daddy, I never wanted to fuck Luke Barry, but I still have daddy thoughts and my daddy
thoughts are with him and I hope that he does better because I did wake up when he had
the stroke, was put into the hospital to about, I want to say 23 text messages of people
sending me the article of the fact that he was in the hospital, just waking up to it.
And I was like, this is a lot to handle.
when I first wake up in the morning.
That is a lot.
Luke Pierre, I mean, he's been around for a long time.
A-List in my mind.
He is A-List.
Yeah, for sure.
Oh, he's definitely A-Lis to us.
And we wish him the best.
But also, thank you guys both for doing the podcast this week.
This was just a goddamn delight.
It was.
Thank you for having us.
Thank you so much for having us.
I loved it.
This was amazing.
And thank you.
Please check out last podcast on the left.
Check out fucking Abe Lincoln's Top Hat,
both on the last podcast network.
I love them both.
I don't listen to Abel Lincoln's Top Hat,
but I know a lot of people that do,
and everyone is very fucking into it.
All right.
Well, thank you for the endorsement.
Hell yeah.
I love you guys.
I love the Jackie.
And we will talk to you.
And if you want extra content,
I am writing Species, spicy,
spicy erotica for Riverdale.
Check out our Patreon page.
It is patreon.com slash page seven podcast.
We did an awesome girls movie night last night.
We watched Clueless,
and we dressed.
up and we got drunk and we quoted the movie and it was a lot of fun and that's going to be
posted on our Patreon as well. Check it out. Love you guys. Love you both. Have a great week.
Thank you, Jackie.
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