Page 7 - Episode 298: Horse Maneuvers

Episode Date: April 11, 2019

This week Jackie, Molly and Holden gab about Lil Nas X, bullies and start casting an LPN musical. Go to http://phlur.com and use promo code PAGE7 to get 20% off your custom Phlur sample set! Get $30 off your first order of $150 or more at http://snowhome.com/page7 Start your 4-week trial at http://stamps.com and use promo code: PAGE7 Join our daddy brigade! Support Page 7 on Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/page7podcast Backbay Lounge, Carefree, Local Forecast, Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

I have a more annoying song, at least for me. This won't be annoying to you guys, maybe. I got a country song stuck in my head, y'all. Yes. I think I might know what it is. I think I might know what it is, too. It's not. When I taste tequila,

baby, I still see you, cutting up the floor in a sorority t-shirt. The same one you wore when we were. Sky-high in Colorado. Your lips pressed against the bottle. Swering on a Bible, baby, I'd never leave. I remember how bad I need you when I taste tequila

because I was watching the ACMs and also I wonder how many people out there think of me when they taste tequila. My name is Jackie Zabrowski. Welcome to page seven. My name is Molly Nethel. And my name is Holder McNeely and I have a song to sing, okay?

What's your song to sing? Tell me something, boy. Oh, oh. You know, I'm on and I love it. I saw, okay, I don't want to spoil anything. I saw that movie. I know it's been out for a while, so spoilers, whatever. I'm just gonna go ahead and say,

I was supposed to be, I thought it was gonna be a casual date night movie. We made a nice dinner. Did not realize they would go so hard in the paint. They go ham. Oh, yeah, dude. They do. Did not realize they would go so hard.

Where have you been? I don't, I thought it was just one of those movies. We're like, oh, you know, I thought it was eight mile, you know, like, you know, he shows up at the end, and she's like, oh, you know, I mean? Wait, was it 8 Mile also upsetting?

I don't remember. Very, very, I never saw, I never saw eight mile. Did you guys see that Connor Oberst and Phoebe Bridges covered shallow?

Was it good? It was very good. I went from being, like somebody was like, I kind of really like shallow, but I don't feel like I should totally embrace it and admit that I like,

it kind of moves me. Right. Even I like Lady Gaga, I got no problem with her, but there's just, I'm holding back a little bit on shallow. And then when Conor O burst in it, I was like,

I'm off the deep. It was perfect. Oh my God. I'm falling. So hard in the paint. I was like, whoa. We were devastated. That Lizzo also sang a version of the song on her Instagram as well.

Yeah, she wrote in the Instagram caption, like, I'm so nervous. I just learned this song. I'm very nervous because Gaga kills this song. And she killed it, of course. I love Lizzo so much. She's so good. Lizzo or Gaga. You have to execute one of them.

Why execute? You have to shoot. I wasn't expecting you to say that at all. Lizza or Gaga, you have to shoot one of them through the eyeball. I thought you were going to say, which one are you going to choose is your favorite? I mean, Gaga, I have to go Gaga. You're going to exit, you're going to put a gun and just blast Gaga. If you have to, if I have to.

You have to. You're crying. There's a whole room full of weird Richmond around you watching. No, I don't like the situation. It's like the end of Requiem for a dream, but instead of ass-to-asset to you blowing. one of those pop fingers braids out. Why, who do you choose? Michael Jackson, dude.

Well, that's not, that wasn't what a y'all? There's a secret door. There's a secret door, and they're like, he didn't actually die, they open it up, and I'm like, definitely him. Yeah, that one is not a hard one. You asshole. I would probably execute Lizzo.

A little bit more of a goggy. Really? Oh, but Lizzo's just doing so much right now. She's doing so good, but Gaga really, you know what I mean? She's all fucking artist. You know what I mean? I do like Lady Gaga.

That's the thing. I don't like when Bradley Cooper and her saying together, I was like at the whatever it was. Was that the Oscars? The Oscars. Yeah. I was like, you're corny, Bradley Cooper. You're corny.

And everyone I was with was like, this sucks. And I was like, I don't think it totally sucks. I think it's great. You're allowed to embrace your opinions, Molly. I think he's clearly emotionally cheating on his wife in that moment. But, you know what I mean? It's acting. Oh, please.

Oh, come on. Those fuck guys aren't acting. He was giving her such hard fuck guys. You want fuck guys? I can give you fuck guys right now. Ouga. Ouga. This is the, you know, I've always sometimes wished, like when I was in, I've never been a good singer.

I always wanted to be. But when I was in high school, I was, I was really into music and I was really into comedy. And I kind of like chose the comedy path because I was hilariously. I was like, well, that would probably make me happier. Because comedy is all about laughter. And, you know, a little. that I know that comedians are not always constantly happy people. None of them. Yeah, none of them are happy.

But I've always wanted to be a good singer, and I've always wondered what it would be. Like, I love the feeling of collaborating with people, you know, it makes you bond and, like, doing comedy with people, you really, really bond. But I've always wondered what it would be like to sing with someone, because you must bond in a different way, looking at each other's eyes and singing and achieving this wonderful, miraculous magic of it. music together. And so maybe you can do that and you don't want to fuck, but also maybe you do that and you do want to fuck.

I sing with Henry all the time. Yeah, but you sing like Master of the House. It's not the same thing. That's a very sexual song. You don't look at each other's eyes like, Master of the House. You know, it's not like singing shallow with Bradley Cooper on stage at a piano

looking into each other's eyes and then just getting closer and closer and closer. You're right. It is a little gross. I have a song that I sing in the band I'm in with Carly, my friend, and it's a slow song about a one-night stand, and it's uncomfortable. You know what I mean?

You got to channel an emotional place. I mean, acting, I guess, is a similar thing. I guess, but it's my buddy, Carly, and, you know, we're not fuckers in the night. Why, you don't want to make kiss? You're a married man, you two marrieds over there. domestic life we did our first giant domestic step together. We put up a shelving unit. Oh, how you doing?

You should buy a dog. We will. Lexi would love that. You got to first see if you can survive putting up a shelving unit together. We made it, but it was kind of funny. It was a lot of Lexi kind of watching me do it, because it's one of those things. You can't really like you can help,

but it's not like you can do it at the same time. Are you trying to say that putting up a shelf is a man's job? Is that what you're saying? 100%. My name is Holder McNeely, and I don't think women can put shelves up. I think that's the fundamental difference in genders. Clip back, Mary. Any other piece of furniture you can put it together.

Shelving, the one thing only a man with a penis could do. And it points. I hate finding studs. That's what I don't like. Yeah, I don't get it. I don't understand. I can find them. I just open up my legs and go, whoop, there it is.

All right. There were points when I was putting up this shelving unit, and I would just stop and just go, I hate this. I hate it. I hate this thing. This thing sucks. And poor, like,

she just stares at me, she just lets me, let it all out. She's like, I know, honey. I know. I'm just like, okay, and just go back to work on it. And you keep going.

Yeah. Putting up shelves, honestly, is like my most dreaded home task because of the damn studs. I don't know what my walls are made of. I don't know how many anchors I need. It feels like a, like, a complex. I'm like that,

the meme of the person doing all the math. Right. I don't know how. And it's so high stakes. If I'm going to put all my vinegars on this thing, I've got to make sure it's in there. And I fucking hate putting up. Do you have a lot of vinegars?

You know, I got five or six. Really? That's a lot of vinegars. That's a variety of vinegars. What are you using all that vinegars for? Yeah. You know, apple cider vinegar, and it's a big one. Oh, you ain't taking your chugs?

That's the most important. Would you, oh, whoa, we're drawn a line in the sand. That's the most important vinegar. Well, this is, I'm like, it's the, I get the hippie vinegar. You know? Uh-huh. Uh-huh. So that's the one I use

for all the salad dressings and stuff. But obviously you've got to have a balsamic. Right. I think to me, balsamic is the best, most important vinegar.

I don't want to get into Fisticovs with you about it. I feel like you're about it. I'm feeling a little violent about it. You got to have a rice vinegar for your stir fries. Ah. Oh, that's nice.

Yeah, that's a good vinegar. And then you got a regular red and a regular red wine and a regular white wine for different salad dressing options, and then you've got to have your big thing of cleaning vinegar. Jeez, Louise.

That, by the way, is more than five vinegars. That was like eight vinegars. That is an absurd amount of vinegar. I feel like this is a good intro, though, to Condiment Corner, which I want to start doing condiment corner. You guys have been talking about mayo chup on the show for weeks. You're right. We can talk about here.

I do have a quick mayo update that we discussed on the Jacketies dating sims last week, but I am still so truly disgusted by the, by the fact that Heinz came out with Cadbury cream egg mayonnaise. Right. Now is... It's like a chopped episode turned into a product. Right. Oh.

Is it like sweet? I believe it's a sweeter. I guess it's a sweet mayo. I refuse to buy it, even though they're only selling it for Easter week, but I won't do it. Jack, you got to get it. I just can't. It's a chocolate egg tasting mayonnaise. One of us has to try it, and you like mayonnaise, right?

You like you're a mayonnaise fan. You're a fanase. Oh, yeah. Oh, I'm a fanase. I'm number one fanase. I'm number one fan alo for Barry Manelow. And I'm number one fan. It's very difficult to be number one on all these things.

By the way, if 2019's francescence is 2020 manassant. Mayonaissance? Yeah. Mayonaissance. Are you just going to feature a cover slathered and mayonnaise? Walking around with your breasts out just dipped it. It's by and mayonnaise to come up. I've got mayonnaise covering my nipples.

Don't worry about it. You can take a picture in me. I think you'd have to start talking like that. I refuse to take a picture of you. It's my main asance. I'm not going to have a maynaissance because I'm not going to shake. I don't want to shake up my mayonnaise regimen. Do you like Cadbury cream eggs either of you?

No. I've never been, I guess I've never been partial either way. Too goofy. Too goosy, right? See, what I would like to do is I would eat off the tip of it and then suck the cream out of the middle of it and then sometimes I get my tongue in there like a little ant eater. I'm not making this up.

It's a great way to eat a Cadbury cream egg. The cream is too creamy. I don't like that. I always thought it was like when I was a kid, I was always disgusted by the thought of it because I always thought they had real egg in there. Yeah. And I was like, who would eat?

A chocolate covered real egg with yolks in it. It's viscous like a partially like a soft boiled egg, you know. So gross to me. So I think I've always had a weird relationship with eggs. Like for the longest time I could only eat. I still can only eat scrambled eggs, fried eggs over easy, right? And like a soft boiled egg. That's when it's runny in the center, right?

Yeah, those are three of my faves. I don't like hard yolk. I'm anti. Yep, laying it down. You know what I mean? Man, this is hard. These are hard lines. These are hard lines.

These are hard lines. Molly has too much vinegar. Alamic is by far the best, even though we disagree on that. Okay, but that's fine. We can disagree on certain things and we can still be friends. That's what makes America fucking beautiful.

That's true. We're allowed to be completely vastly different. We have to model that behavior for children. You can have difference of his opinion and still love each other. 100 million thousand percent. Yeah, but are y'all beanheads? I'm a jelly beaner.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Man, I love jelly beans. This is the time of year when I get my fucking Starburst jelly beans. I was like, how to say? Starburst jelly beans, you can't go wrong. There's not a bad bean in the box. Yeah, I don't. Because, yes, thank you for saying Starbursts because the jelly belly ones, like, you don't know what you're going to get.

Exactly. And the good ones, good jelly bellies are terrific, but like enough of this buttered popcorn bullshit. Nobody actually wants that. And even worse than that, Lexi loves the, like, Harry Potter ones. Yeah. And they've got like booger ones and stuff. Yeah, no, my kids at school do it. And then they, like, go over to the trash can and roll them all up.

It's so disgusting. The birdie bots every flavored beads. No, thank you. I mean, some of them are really delicious, like half of them. And then the other half are foul. Like, actual, like, I've had one. And I think I can't remember if it was vomit. I think it was vomit.

Vomit is just, yeah, vomit. There's bugger. There's, it's so, it's foul. No, it just give me a bunch of, like, give me a vat of Dr. Pepper jellybellies. Oh, man. Oh, just. Slide him down my gullate.

I agree. Thank you. To disagree, because I don't agree. Yeah, but do you agree? Have you watched the Homecoming trailer yet? Uh-oh. I actually haven't, because I feel like it was one of those things where I was like, oh, that's happening.

I will definitely be watching that. And then I don't watch the trailer just because if I know in my deep in my heart, I'm definitely going to watch it, D1. Like, I just will skip the trailer. But is it like the trailer itself is just amazing. Watch the trailer. So for those of you guys that have not seen or have not been on the internet, Netflix is coming out.

April 17th, it is a Baychella documentary produced by Beyonce of the behind-the-scenes footage and the setup and the learning of all the dance moves to her historic Coachella performance that she did last year. And even just watching the trailer, I like, welled up with inspiration. Yeah, yeah. Dude, it's insane.

I can't wait to watch. shit. And I don't know how she keeps these things so secret. Like, same with lemonade and all that shit that, like, she, like, people do not know about it. Now, that's money and power. You know what I mean? Yeah, man, I can't wait. I bet she's probably, like, secondhand murdered somebody, right? For sure. Ordered the, like, they'd death of somebody, right? I mean, how could you not if you have that kind of power? That kind of power? Come on. I don't think she has the, I don't think she has the time, honestly. Jaggie, how many people would you have murdered if you were like Bay Level famous? I don't think I would only do that if I was a mobster's wife.

Here's a better question. How many enemies do you think you currently have? I'm going to say more than 30. Really? Interesting. Wow. Because I know I'm a very, I know I'm a divisive person. I know you either love me or you hate me.

I'm pretty well aware of that. I think there was a whole thing on Twitter about the word nemesis. In order for, I know enemy and nemesis are two different concepts, or at least two different words. But what are the difference? I mean, I guess what people were saying about nemesis, and I agree, is that in order for one person to be your nemesis, if you, so the other, it has to be a mutual relationship. So if Holden is my nemesis, I have to also be Holden's nemesis. Otherwise, if I think Holden is my nemesis and Holden never thinks about me, then I just have a grudge against Holden. Right.

What would you guys do to each other if you guys were each other's nemesoth? Spy. Oh, I would definitely like get her, because I think the best damage I could do to you is get your, like, Twitter Facebook stuff and just post, like, the most racist, like, anti-LGBT shit, all up on your Twitter status and shit. That would be rough. That would be fucking rough. And that would so be what I did. And you wouldn't know who did it, right? You wouldn't know who did it.

Well, if you were my nemesis, I would because I'd be like. Like I have my nemesis. And the other thing is you have to be an equal match, right? So like, you know, you have to, if your nemesis has to be somebody who you kind of admire, I think. Yes. Because otherwise. Yes. Right.

They have to be somebody who you feel like you hate them almost because you know they could put up a good fight against them. Like if they did something stupid, you'd be kind of bummed out. Yeah. Because you'd be like, I thought more of this. Exactly. Because it's easy to just like hate on somebody who you do have no respect for. Because it sounds like you have to like rest. I think that's right.

I think that's right. I think that's right. That's kind of how I feel about nemesis. I think everybody I felt was, I think you've broken my thing a little bit because I think every single person who I felt is my nemesis doesn't think about it. Didn't think about you. Yeah. And that's what I'm saying with Jackie. Like I think that it's to be a person who maybe some people don't like you is one thing. But if you don't have 30 people who you're thinking about all the time. It's just so funny that to think about what character you are in other people's story.

Other people's lives. Terrifying. Like you, I mean, we've talked about this before. Jackie used to bully people. And like, there are some people out there where she is a demon from their nightmares. People still probably tell stories about my bully who is Jackie. I have openly, I have apologized to each and every person that is made. Good for you. Which is great. From almost all of them except for one.

Except for one. And that one person, though, says that she still hopes every day that I die. That I get hit by a car and then I die. And I'm not going to say, it's like, so you definitely have at least one enemy. Yeah. Would you call her a nemesis or she's not as powerful as you probably? No, because I have no ill will towards her whatsoever. I was a bad person.

You can't have a nemesis of somebody you used to bully. You're my nemesis. Then in that case, she would just still be a bully. Yeah, she'd just still be a bully. Well, Jackie, that's so interesting because, You're not a bully at all now. I went to years of therapy. Years and years of therapy.

That was part of my therapy. Was apologizing. And I understand. I don't deserve their, you know, my relinquishment. You know, it's like, I get it. Yeah. But also, wish every day that I got hit by a car.

I was like snapping her bra strap and stuff like that. It wasn't like I was like really truly psychologically torture. I'm saying that that is, of course, I'm not making light of what I did too. her. Well, it's, there's only one person I've ever met besides you, Jackie, who has admitted to being a grown-up, like, as a grown-up has admitted to being a bully in childhood, which I think is so interesting, and I don't know if it means that more people aren't admitting it, or I think a lot of people I'd hang out with identify as people who were bullied, but of course, people who were bullied often were also bullied themselves. One of my favorite, I'm not like a, so it's good to admit it. I'm not like a huge 30 Rock fan, but one of my favorite episodes is Tina Fey going like, oh, got to go to my high school reunion and oh, life in high school was so horrible and I was so tortured and, you know, so bullied and stuff

and then all the flashbacks and stuff are her just being a complete fucking asshole bullied bitch to everybody around her. And I think I have a little bit of a memory of that as well where I'll remember, and for sure, I was bullied and was kind of bullied too. Yeah, because what did you do about let and look for the person who was slightly lower than you

in social staff? I have one memory I want to apologize to this one girl for who had a crush on me, but of course I hated myself, so I like wouldn't have it. And she was really cool. And she's really cool now. And I like see her life and I'm like, I should have dated. She's cool. You know what I mean?

I should have dated her. I was so afraid of intimacy and hated myself. And so I just, you know, went after the popular girl that was never actually ever going to date me because that would be safe to the pine of her. And she wrote my name on her shoes. And I, like, chased her around the classroom trying to get her shoes from her. And it was so embarrassing for her that day. And I feel so horrible. So it was me running trying to get her shoes.

Yeah. But also, that's like, that's the middle school equivalent of getting a tattoo of someone's name, though. You can't write it on your shoes. You don't write it on your shoes. You don't write it on. That's the next eight months of shoes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a good wide.

I remember what I wrote on my Adidas shoes. I wrote Swack on the back because I guess my shoes were, with a kiss and my mom was so mad at me. She was so mad about defacing my shoes. She's like, you know how much money I spend on these shoes for you to have? And then you write on the same with writing on my hand. She would flip out if I wrote on my hand.

And now I remember when I first came home with that too and I was like, what now? Mom! Do you talk about it? Mom? Every time you smell me, you're so in love with me. It just keeps getting better I want to spend the rest of my life

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the scent of Hepcat always lingers on me to the point that I'm dumbfounded after a show when someone tells me I smell nice? Doesn't that always make you feel good? And I never reek of Hepcat either. It's long-lasting and light, which is definitely not something most perfumes offer. So go to Fleur.com today and use promo code page 7 to get 20% off your first.

Custom Flour sample set. Pick three cents to try and get credit towards a full-sized bottle of your favorite. That's promo code page 7 at Fleur.com to get your first three Fleur Fragrate samples at 20% off. P-H-L-U-R-com Were you bullied a lot as a small tiny Molly? As a small tiny Molly, yes. Because I was, I expressed my gender then as I do now,

which is wearing boys' clothes and having short hair. And then I stuffed that all deep inside of myself in sixth grade, grew my hair out, grew out some bangs, got some baby teas. Oh, not baby teas. Nobody looks good in baby teeth. What's the baby teas? It's just a tight t-shirt, you know. With the really short sleeve.

So even if you have absolutely no arm fat, it's still puckers underneath the short out sleeve. Yeah, but, you know, I was a sixth grader. It was 1997. Baby T's with dragons on them were the fashion. And so then from about sixth grade on, I made it. Sixth grade, I was friends with actual popular kids. And then in seventh grade, went to middle school, and then made friends with, like, other.

There are, you know, smart, nerdy people and then was kind of just hung with them for the rest of the time. And I'm sure that we were total dicks to people who we felt were lower status than us. And I'm sure that we felt vaguely persecuted by, you know, popular kids, but I also remember- Who did you deem as a lower status than you?

You know, thinking back on this, it was all so classed. Like, I feel like in high school, the kids who would get made fun of were kids who people would call like dirt bags, you know, which I'm like so visceral. ashamed that I even had that word in my lexicon. Well, wait, what's wrong with dirtbag?

Like a bag and dirt? I don't know. I called my goth daddy a dirt wolf the other day, though. I don't think the dirt bag itself is like a slur or anything, but what it meant at my high school was like poor. You're poor. You're a poor-ass fucking stupid-ass bed. And I don't think I'm 99% sure I never called anybody like a dirt bag to their face or

anything. I'm sure I thought about people. but I went to the elementary school that everybody thought was the dirtbag elementary school and so I felt like I had some like class solidarity you know but it was just a lot of how people would pick on each other was especially in middle school and high school was like so informed by class right is something trashy or not you know

like ours was way formed by interest I mean there was a clear like we were the table we were kind of band geek table but sort of like the band we smoked cigarettes were you in band too? No I just hung out with like people who were super into music. I mean, I was in a band. Wait, you were in a high school? Wait, wait. It's like, what kind of band?

Oh, I got to play some fucking tracks for you guys at some point. Yeah, how long have I known you that I didn't know. What kind of, what kind of music? Was it like, I imagine it was like Jeff Rottal but shitty. Nope, nope. It was like red hot chili peppers, baby. We were funk rock. We thought that Bloods are your sex magic was the greatest album ever writ. We thought we just wanted to be funky, funky rock and roll and just whack,

oh, waddle, just the whitest funk rock bullshit, you know what I mean? It was like, and we're, there's rap rock going on a lot too. Ooh, a rap rock, will you? A little bit, yeah, because I would freestyle on the mic while they played their funky jams. Wow.

You know what I mean? Yeah. Every band in my high school was just a Weezer cover band, every last one, except for mine, which was a, like, real big fish cover band, basically. We did say it ain't so. Yeah. Yeah, real big fish cover band. I was in a Scott band.

in a Sky band. Yeah, but we didn't know that many songs. Scott, did you do a bunch of covers? We only, we, I couldn't write. The thing is, I like music. I like listening to it, and I got, I could play trumpet, and I got very good at playing trumpet because I just played ska in my basement all the time.

And I got, and so I was like good at music, but I've never been able to write a song for the life of me yet. And so I think I wrote like one song. Here's the song I just made up. Okay. Tell me something, Beau. You didn't make it up. That was, by the way, that was the one scene in the movie where I was like, oh, yeah, that's how songs get written.

Yeah, you know. In a parking lot, just like, oh, a little diddy just came into my fucking stupid head because I felt a lot of you just... Maybe you weren't talented enough, Holden. Maybe I didn't have it. That's the problem when I was in high school. I thought that that's how songs did get written, so I'd be like, it'll just come to me. They kind of do, but you have to be thinking about it. You have to be writing bad songs all day, and then a really good one will pop in there.

You have to, like, alter your brain in that way. Like, if I'm not thinking about needing... to write songs at least even. It won't just, something won't just pop into my head. There are so many things I wish I could do. Dude, y'all, speaking of music, did you read the story that I sent you about Lil Nas X? Yeah, let's talk about Lil Nas X, please.

So I listen to this song. Horses in the back. Yeah, I like it. Let's get a point out for everybody, because I was not aware of what was going on with this song. I've been in the dark about this song. It's very important. I wasn't aware either.

I just, like, had heard a, doubted or something and I looked it up on Spotify and listened to it. I was like, pretty cool. It's a good son. He sings a song called Old Town Road and immediately became on the top country 100 list of the billboard list. And they took it off the list because it said it lacked elements of today's country music in its current version. So by the way, it super does not lack elements of modern day country music. It really does sound like a perfect marriage between modern.

hip hop and modern not even old-timey country music it's not even like throwback it sounds like a you know in the nicest way possible because it's not really that's probably one of the only types of music I don't really enjoy that much but I actually enjoyed this version

of it because it is this cool yeah it's this cool marriage of the two and it also sounds exactly like a trap song like it is trap music and country music incredibly merged together and it's really good but what I really love is that so he's like Okay, all right, sure, sure, it's not country.

So he does a remix of the song, brings on Billy Ray Cyrus to do the song with him, and now it's number one on the chart. And Billy Ray Cyrus came out with a tweet said, it was so obvious to me after hearing the song just one time. I was thinking, what's not country about it?

What's the rudimentary element of a country and western song? Then I thought, it's honest, humble, and has an infectious hook. And a banjo. What the hell more do you need? And he's got a southern accent. He's not, like, he sounds like a country singer, even as a rapper.

Yeah. Like, he's got the accent, he's talking. He clearly definitely understands, like, horse maneuvering. Like you can tell by the language he's using about the horses. Horse maneuvering, yes. Yes, he understands how to sort of take them from one place to another and keep them alive. You winnie, you neigh, you clip, clop, clip, clop, right? I know, see, I also know horse maneuvers.

Yes. And this is so fucking, if you had told me, at any time before Friday of last week that I would be like cheering for Billy Ray Cyrus I would be like excuse me but like there is you know I was like following this and it's so fascinating because of course there's the history of why country music is so segregated that there was like two record labels

that were basically segregated like for black country and white country and so the billboard country top whatever 50 is like almost exclusively white people and because it's just always been historically there's this reason for it, this record label segregation. And so for this, you know, black artist to make this country song that also does sound like a rap song, like, and then to get kicked off for it, and then for Billy Ray to be like, you know what, I'll be damned if that's not a country song. And then come on and do like a fucking awesome verse.

Like, Billy Ray's verse is good. Yeah. Also, the music video is really sexy. Oh, I got to watch. I don't want to fucking love Billy Ray Cyrus. I'm like so baffled. I hate. Michael Jackson and I love Billy Ray Cyrus.

It's opposite day. It's opposite day. It's opposite day. Oh my God, is this April Reels Day? No, April Reels. It's another week. We gotta wait. We have to wait.

April 19th. I can't wait for April Reels. Who do you think you're going to say something real? Because can't you only say, what were the rules against going? You only say one. You can say one thing to everyone, right? No, I think it's one thing to one person. Yeah, one thing to everyone.

Everyone is too much. So we should probably like film it, Jackie, because I'll be out there. And maybe we'll April Reels each other. or maybe we could April Reels your brother. Oh, yeah, let's not because he's a good person. He's not aware of April Reels Day, so we should attack him with April Reels Day. And he's going to be on his honeymoon, so it'll be perfect. Just both of you two insulting him on his honeymoon.

We'll hand him the, like, hand, plastic hand card. He'll have no idea what to... Then he can choose whether to slap you or Jackie. The two-real card. And then we'll say our truth to him and then say, like, if you thought one of those things were too real, you are now allowed to slap one of us with the two real car. Ooh, good segue though. Too real.

Have you guys watched the Lion King trailer that just came out? The teaser trailer. I had a problem that it wouldn't load on my phone because I was trying to watch on the subway. But from what I've, I don't understand the words live action. Because it's not a lot. Because it's CGI. There's no real lions in it. There's no real lions in it.

It is still, it's amazing anime. It's amazing, C. though. Like, it looks beautiful. Yes. Yeah, that is wrong. That's, I tried to say to you, Molly, no, no, no, you don't get it. No, but really, if there's no actual human beings in it, it's just computer animated movie. And I feel like an old man on a porch just be like, well, don't call it live action. I just am very, I'm hung up on that part of it.

It does make no sense. Are the environments real even? Is it like? I don't think so. Is it, Jackie, do you know, is it like shot for shot, like original? See, this is the whole thing is watching it, it seems like it's going to be shot for shot. And why? Why do it again? Actually, controversial opinion here.

I don't understand. Also, they even have James Earl Jones again as Mufasa. So why do, like, it ain't broke, man. It's a classic movie. Why put all of this, I mean, amazing effort into it? I'm not saying that it's like, it is definitely going to be beautiful. but why? It's so strange.

Cool list of actors, like very exciting and cool list of actors. But this is what they're doing with everything from the 90s, aren't they? Like, none of it's broke, but they're,

Aladdin 8 broke, and now they're breaking it, you know? Like, they just, and I think Lion King looks like it will be good. But Aladdin will actually be, you're right,

that it's, my mind is a little blown right now because, like, if it gets nominated for an Oscar, are we all just going to pretend it's not an animated movie? Because it's definitely animated. It's just animated by computers.

Right. Instead of by, you know, Korean slave children. You know what I mean? Yeah, I don't really understand how this works when it comes to like that movie kind of thing. Like I just,

I don't get it. Yeah. Yeah. That is so weird. And they're redoing, I don't know, it's just, it's because we are of this generation where the nostalgia is for the stuff that when we were kids,

like, I know that this is how it works. Like I know that in the 70s, there was nostalgia for the 50s and that's Greece, right? I know that in the 90s, there was nostalgia for the 70s. And that's that 70s. show and like all but like we are in that now so that all of the shit dumbo Aladdin Lion King

full house all of this shit is also I'm sorry I refuse to watch Dumbo I won't do it I won't nobody want no everybody R-H is still upset about Dumbo yeah so sad we don't need a second reminder and and Elephants on Parade which is one of my favorite things to watch while very high right Elephants on parade here they come oh it's so creepy yeah I love that The elephants, boom. Do you still do this? I love to sabotage a group of friends on like a late evening after we've been drinking and smoking a bunch of weed

and I'll just put on elephants on berate. Everyone's like, why are you doing this? Why would you do it? Because dumbos totally, I believe, on Netflix. Well, maybe it's not anymore because I think Disney's like shifting all the shit around. But I enjoyed Beauty and the Beast live action. I didn't see it, but that I was excited for it. I will, like at some point I'll see it and enjoy it.

I'm sure I'll enjoy the Lion King. I don't know why I'm cranky about it Or if I'm even cranky about it. I wasn't cranky about it until you brought up this I don't know why but now I'm mad Like you're right they're not Every other one makes a little bit more sense Because it's actual human people

Performing the roles right And if they somehow did a cool weird version Where it was actual human people Like being these characters Like the Broadway show Like the Broadway show kind of But maybe even more so Human

Or like what they're about to do with The Little Mermaid, too, because they're doing, like, an actual live show at the Hollywood Bowl, and they're recording it. But we'll get into that in just a second. I'm sorry, please continue your thought. Oh, I can see Amy Adams crushing it as Ariel. No, it's Leah Michelle. She's from Glee. She's, like, the main girl from Glee, and she got Ariel's position. But as we all have talked about, Lilo in the past has been gunning for the role of Ariel in the live action film of the Little Mermaid. and obviously she's been pushing for this for a while before they even release that they were working on it and she just wanted to do it she's like I think it would be great

I would be Ariel and then Merrill Streep would be Ursula No this is like La La Land Thank God that in the latest versions of the live musicals they've done like Jesus Christ Superstar which everyone remembers from last year that I was totally obsessed with you have to cast people who can sing And the thing about Lion King that does look very exciting to me is that the cast looks fucking awesome

and like the little boy who's playing Simba is like he sounds like young Michael Jackson he has like an incredible voice and like obviously Donald Glover rules and like all these like so I think that the cast of Lion King makes sense to be very very excited about but like thank God

they're not just casting famous people with red hair and they're actually casting people who can sing because I'm doing musicals you gotta get people can sing and dance Yeah, yeah, because she does really have it. And, you know, one of the things I didn't like about Being the Beast was I did wish that they actually had just gotten a voice to sing for Emma Watson when she was singing. Oh, she not good? She did a fine job.

Everyone does a fine job. Like, no one's going to be, like, off key in the fucking, you know, Disney movie. Like, there's no way it's going to happen, right? But there's just like a, it's not the same thing as having somebody who can really sing. Yeah, you're not going to be, like, brought to tears by Emma Watson's, like, you know what I mean? Right, right. performance, but you could be if it was somebody just with that powerful, you know, raw voice that you can have in some of those numbers.

It shows a lack of respect for musicals because to be like, let's just get an actor and teach them how to sing and dance, which is what I still haven't seen La La Land on a principal. Like, and you've got a La La La La La La La La Land over here. We got La La La Land. Well, first of all, like... It might be totally fine. I'm just piss you. You know what? I don't even know necessarily that it is, but I love it because, you're because I love the weird specific genre of modern day stories, but like they jump into old-timey musical throwback numbers.

Like I love, everyone says, I love you, which is a Woody Allen film. I love a dancer in the dark. All this specific genre, I'm already like, I'm in. I love it. I just can't get enough it. It's always magical to me. And then also, like, I am like, like, not even low-key,

like, high-key kind of crushing on Emma Stone. Yeah. She's sort of my Hollywood. like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Whenever I see her, I'm just like,

oh, oh, you slap it a hachi-machian. Hachie, matchy, yeah. She's a Hachie. I want to be... Ryan, what's his name? Gassling is also a Hachie. Oh, he's a Hachian.

They have great chemistry always, you know? I'll bet that it's totally fine. It's just that the tap dance lover in me is like, cast a fucking tap dancer if you're going to do a musical about dancing and same with singing, you know?

And also the problem with that musical La La Land, is it like ceases to be a musical for like a giant swath of the film. Yeah. And then it like becomes a musical again. And I definitely have my problems with that movie. But I'll still like late at night. No one else is around.

You know what I mean? A shame. Shame watch it. No, we are at a time. We're not, we don't have to shame. We don't have guilty pleasures anymore. It's your pleasure. Yeah.

And that's a fine pleasure. I know. And I'm ashamed of my pleasure. Yeah, yeah, me too. Grace your pleasure, but might I recommend my late night pleasures, which is just, you know, random deep dives into Gene Kelly tap dancing movie. Oh, I thought you were going to say crying after masturbating. You know, that's my, oh man, is that my shame pleasure? You know, you just cry and cry and cry about the animal instincts that live inside of us.

I love old musicals and I love, I saw like Thanksgiving Day after we got hammered doing the stream of the Macy's parade. I kind of remember that, yeah. Lexi took a nap and I couldn't really sleep, so I put on white crates. Christmas is a good one, has some really great dancing numbers. Why can't we have this again? What's happened? You're right. I'm, damn it.

Jackie, and I blame you a little bit. I blame you a little bit, damn it. Why? Why can't, what, where did all, where did they all go? Could you imagine Gene Kelly would vomit at the site of the current state of musicals? Ryan Gosling tap dancing? Ryan Gosling tap dancing. Even Grace Sinatra looked like a douchebag tap dancing next to Gene Kelly, and he could tap dance.

And a not real computer-generated lion. fucking tapped in. You know what I mean? Like, just all of it's weird and wrong. I bet you that there's going to be a resurgence of it, though, because it's like, even like the director Ari Aster, Ari Aster, I think it's how you say it, the dude that did hereditary in midsummer that's coming out this year,

which looks sick as fuck. But he wants to get into, he's like, that's going to be his last horror movie and that he wants to move into, he wants to do every genre of music. He's like, I definitely want to tackle big musical, which if someone with that kind of like eye for detail wants to make a movie like that

I'm all in dude with those big numbers yeah with all the like the cadre of people and it's this whole and I get why they don't I mean it's probably got to be so difficult to pull off right but just like it's just the changing of it honestly it harkens back to the

the Beyonce Beechella performance that's being but the documentary is coming out about where it's like she had she had over a hundred performers on stage. Yeah, the amount of choreography.

Doing a live show. I think that our idea of musicals are just changing over time where it's like if that is what our modern day musical is, I'm all aboard. Get him in. Get all these pop stars in and know how to dance. A Lady Gaga musical, like a

true musical would be unbelievable. A Beyonce helmed musical would be amazing. Like they, at the beginning of the Grammys this year, they did Havana. And they like staged it like a musical. Like they had like a little apartment that she was kind of going in and out of the different departments? What's her nameing in?

Camilla Cabella. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Camilla. Hot-y, hot. She's so hot. I saw her live. I saw her open for Taylor Swift. Oh, how was she?

Oh, I'll bet she was good. Amazing. And she got on the piano at one point, this giant, beautiful grand piano and sang, oh, what's the name of that song? That album is, track for track. Really good, by it. It's really good.

Oh, yeah. Havana's like my least favorite song on the album. Oh, that is a great song, though. I love that song. But the Grammy's opening number one. I was geeking out on it because it was staged, it was choreographed like a musical opening number where they had a little set and then they had all these dancers

come out and like, you know, fucking 50 backup dancers up there are all, and I was like, I love choreography. So good. You know, it just is so, and like that was what was fun about Alicia Keys hosting the Grammys to me too when she was playing both pianos. I just feel like there's so much like, I know not everybody loves Alicia Keys, but maybe I should have left that part.

I do. I'm sorry. like started getting all sleepy when you just mentioned Alicia Keys. Wait, you don't like it at Alicia Keys? What's the problem with Alicia Keys? By the way, playing two pianos is the same as playing one piano.

It is. It's the same thing. Yeah, but it's still both hands. You're just doing this instead of this. You're literally just doing this instead of this. Have you ever done it? Have you ever done it? She's playing with her fucking feet or pussy or something.

I'd feel completely different. I'm like, oh my God. I guess that's true. You have a player's know how to play with both hands. Okay. All right, I take it back. She's playing that piano with both of her hands. But my, I think that's great.

Oh, Mr. Cotta, I'm so happy I could cheat. I've never seen Welcome Back Cotter, so why do I say, oh, Mr. Cotta so often, to be like Jontra, you got to act and live like Jontra, which is also why I started buying my home goods from Snow. Snow makes luxury essentials for every room in your home, minus the markup. I want to live in the bed of luxury, Miss Tacata, and me feels like me is,

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plus free postage and a digital scale without any long-term commitment. Just go to Stamps.com, click on the microphone at the top of the home page and type in page seven. That's Stamps.com, enter page seven. By pointing, the more like cool musical skill shit, that people do on stage is like I love when I love like the Grammys for that like the live performance aspect of it and the choreography and the showmanship and all that and yeah and I feel like we should have more of that because people have all these cool ass talents yeah and so that's also another reason why I'm a little like the Lion King is cool because it's going to be all this

amazing singing and the singers will you know the voice actors will be really exciting but I feel like Yeah, I don't know. I guess I like choreography. I like the live shit, you know. Yeah, yeah, for sure, for sure. I completely 100% agree. And I, you know, yeah, it is a sad state of affairs where we're at with musicals that even La La Land is the big musical of the time, right?

And even I, as a La La Land defender, do feel that it is not, you know, that's not where musicals could be in this country. Damn it, Jackie. I blame you still a little bit. for that? No, it's coming back. It's coming back. That's why we have to write an LPN musical. Yes. Who moves the microphones? That's what's going to be called. Who moves the microphones? Who move the microphones? Why doesn't this work? Why doesn't this work? And then it'll be that kind of just rage musical. Every time I come and the microphones are different.

Yeah, what happens in that musical besides just complaining about tiny, uh, annoying things? It could be like that scene in Bye Bye Birdie when they're all calling each other and they're like like telephone hour, I think is the name of the song, and they're all calling each other talking about, did you get pinned, you know, did you really get pinned? This would be like, you know, the 70s, like Brady Bunch style, like nine different squares of different people in the LPN network calling each other,

like, did you move the mic? Make it research-based. Mary's in the session. You're going to make it research base. If you're learning about something interesting and the listener laughs while they're learning. Although just think of how big the music the closing musical number with all of us in it just called like megustallations wouldn't that be awesome

magustalitians oh it's a big yeah yeah yeah who dies what one day more style who dies in the musical i mean we all know who dies he already died thanks for bringing it up old and geez louise he's gonna fly overhead. The parricene falcon of Kevin Barnett will fly overhead. Where are we going to get a black guy though? We lost the only one to do. No, no, he'll be represented by a falcon. It'll be like Abe Lincoln's ghost that comes over every time there's a silence of the room. I want Molly to be played by like a super ripped dude, just a jacked, like, fucking, like pilot dude. You know, like a guy in the army? No, man, I'm going to play myself, but I have to do like how Christian

And Bail loses all of his weight or gains all of his weight. I just need to go into an intense tap dancing training program and before the musical is filmed because that's what I've always wanted to do with my life anyway. Oh my God. And this will be my chance. And we can record it. We'll make a montage.

Yeah. Right. And we'll release it like Beyonce releasing the Coachella behind the scenes. Yeah. Hush, hush, and then boom, boom, right? I would definitely be played by Taylor Swift. We can get her. Which would be amazing.

Of course we can get her. It's the big, it's the musical of the fucking century. It would be great if you plastered a beard on her, though, and just made her go, oh. The Ullo's are her only line she never sang. Lexi will be played by Emma Stone. Taylor Swift will play me. Who will play Jackie?

Who's the most, like, monstrous, good singer you've ever met? You know what I mean? Like, a real monster person. Ooh, a monster. A monster person, eh? I get it. Honestly, if I could just have the likeness, If we could just have a mirage of actual Ursula,

saying that for me, I would be completely into that. And Ursula as Jackie Zabrowski. All right, how does she talk? Taylor Swift as Holden McNeely. Molly Neffle as herself. And hologram Ursula as Jackie Zabrowski. Oh, yeah. I'm in.

All right, let's start to go on me. I'm all about it. Most of our money will go to be getting. Taylor Swift who will not sing and only scree, but I think that'll be worth our time. Well, I think that guys, I know that we're having fun talking about our musical, but it's time for the list.

I can't believe it. Who's on the list? Jackie, you gotta have that list. Celebrities who had weird jobs before they were famous. Uh-oh. This is a fun one. I hope that there are some servers in there and waiters. I'm worried that this is too fun.

Too fun? I think this is going to be too fun. Oh, is it too? Well, I definitely found one because they were ones that have like, she worked out of Dairy Queen. It's like, that's not a weird job. That's just a job. But did you know, the number one, Christopher Walken, tamed lions. That's fun. He worked in a circus. He was the assistant lion tamer in a traveling tent because he was essentially playing the tamer's son. Walken's lion was called Shiba, and Watkins says she was like a dog, really. Like a dog. How do you do it? Like a dog. You like a dog.

Can you picture Christopher Walk in the taming a line? Like, oh, okay, calm down. Actually, he does have such a kind of a soothing voice, though. Yeah, he might be good at it. Also, I did the thing with the kind of thing that I said I hate. Oh, no, is it now, are you now realizing how often you do it? I do it all the time. I've been thinking about that since last week, too.

I'm sure I do it all the fucking time. It's kind of a, you know, yeah. It's a way to, I was thinking about this. It's a way to make it sound like you're not trying to be a super authoritative dick, though. Exactly. If I'm trying to explain something about politics or something, I'm like, well, I think it's kind of, it's a way of like trying to ease in. Ease into it. Well, I think it's kind of like you're being, like, racist.

You're ease into it. Racist. That's how I use it most often. Kind of, that's the best, like, racist thing I've ever to my entire life. I kind of need you to not talk to me anyway. Well, maybe Danny Divino kind of was like, well, kind of like you're dead. Oh, God, that was a bad intro. What?

Danny DeVito style. Take it back, Jay. He's style dead people's hair Oh, he styled people's Dead people. Dead people. He was a dead person's I don't know, is that a mortician's hairstylist? Mortician's hairstylist sounds like he's styling the hair of the mortician. See, that is a very important job

Because if the mortician doesn't look good, how do you trust him to style your dead ones? I thought it was an all-in-one deal with the mortician. Like you need a separate hair stylist. Do you also need like a manny peddial? person as well. I don't understand. Yeah, I thought the mortician did all of it, to the makeup and the hair and everything. I get, I, I don't really know the difference at all that stuff. All I know is that when I die if, I mean, I definitely want to be like, you know, burn to a crisp and shot out

of a cannon, but also it would be fun to have really, like, the long fake nails I'm always too scared to get, you know? Right. It would be fun. Yeah, I want the spiky ones. I want the scary ones. I only see people trying to use their phone with those nails and I'm just like, Why would you put yourself through this life like this? Clickety clack. Clickety clack. I love the clickety clack. I've always wanted the clickety clack.

I'm too scared of the commitment. Don't get the click clack. Clack, clack. Don't do it. Clack, clack. Don't do it. They get used to using their finger pads. I always wanted to get teeth extensions.

Just super long. I want to be able to bite down like this. Like they come out of your mouth? Like a walrus? Like a saber tooth tiger? No, just super long, tall teeth. You know what you? Close your mouth.

It would be like, it would be very difficult for you to continue on with your radio career, I believe. Yeah, that would be tough. But then I would get to refer to myself as the grinning man, which is always a fun situation. Oh, I don't like the grinning man. I also don't like the idea that Victoria Beckham used to dress up as a sperm. For what? In her early days, Victoria Posh Beckham dressed up as a sperm on roller skates for a BBC's sexual education show called BodyMatic. I was a balloon salesman on roller skates briefly, so that's something that her and I kind of have in common.

Did squeeze me? For a summer, I sold balloons on roller skates at parades and stuff, like milar, expensive mylar balloons. Okay. It was a wonderful job. It sounds like you were one of those people that was selling. What's the drug that comes in the balloons that you suck out? Not helium, but it's like a different drug that makes you like, hi, hi. Nitrous.

Nitrous. I think that that's more of what you're doing. Dude, I think it was like a Black Keys concert or something. I came out of Terminal 5 and there was a dude at every single street corner. They had like this organized situation where you could just slam a bunch of nitrous balloons. Like they all had tanks with balloons and they were literally like coordinating it like, cops are coming, go, go, go. And they would just run to the next block and keep selling them.

And it was they were doing outside of the ween concert. And people were literally just like on the concrete like screaming with laughter and like out of their minds. Nightjus is like a whippet? Yeah, it's like a whipit. Just give everybody a whipped cream can. But, ah, when you get the, I don't know, I've never done the balloon. I've only done the whipped cream can.

I definitely did the whipped cream can, though. We couldn't get beer that night in high school or whatever and be like, fuck, let's go to the Walmart. And we just, like get a bunch of whipped cans. That's everyone I know who's ever done whippets too. It's like, I guess I got to do whippets. Yeah. You can't do it any other way.

It's no one's first choice to do a bunch of us. Yeah. It's definitely not your first decision. You're just like, you're sure you can't get your brother. No, man, he's out of town on a fucking canoeing trip vacation. It's the same as like anyone that chooses to smoke weed with knife hits. You know, it's like that's like that is a last resort. If you don't have an apple.

If you don't have anything else, you take knife hits. Gravity bones. The Minnesota version of that is that, you know, they don't, they still have all these blue lads. I think they may have just changed it, but it's that you can't, but you can only get any beer at liquor stores. Everything is a liquor store. Nothing at the grocery store. And the liquor stores close at eight. on weeknights and 10 on weekends,

and they're closed on Sunday. And so it leaves a lot of people high and dry. And the desperate Minnesota version, either you've got to drive, if you're in the Twin Cities, drive 20 minutes over to Hudson, Wisconsin, or try to get drunk off a 3-2, which I've never done.

But 3-2 is the, like, near beer, like 3.2%. You know, regular beer is like 5%. Oh, God. I've never heard of this. What is that? 3-2 is like, they sell at the grocery store in Minnesota. They don't sell real beer,

but they sell, you'll see it, 12 pack of Budweiser and you're like, this beer, it is 3.2% Budweiser. So you have to drink in a midst amount of them. Whoa. I feel like it would just end up puking way before I would get drunk. That would just get me. I think that the consensus that I heard was that it's actually impossible to get drunk on 3-2 because you can't drink it fast enough.

Right. You can't get it in there. But I never tried. But that was what people would, who were really, if it was like 11 o'clock at night and you needed beer, you could try to get some 3-2 and it was not good for anybody. The problem is that the people who need. need beer at 11 o'clock at night are already, their tolerance is already so high.

Yeah, right. So I think a lot of people would already be drunk and then go get three, two, and it's like, well, now at least you're like tasting beer, but you're drinking, but you're simply drinking non-alcoholic beer at that point, you know. I mean, it's someone that usually drinks Coors Light. I'm not usually drinking it to taste the beer. You know what I mean?

I just want a watery drunk. Right. How much watery drunk days did Whoopi Goldberg have when she was doing makeup on corpses. Separate. Corpses. Wow, it's the corpses again. It's a double corpse list.

And again, separately doing makeup, not the mortician. I don't get it. I think this is garbage bullshit. And also two real character, Danny DeVito and Whoopi Goldberg. This sounds like a movie pitch, you know, those two working in a fucking mortician's lab together. I would love that. My girl three, the yuck stops here.

Yeah. But it's YUCK, you get it? Like, it's like a yucky corpse. I don't know. Is that fine? Gina Davis posed as a mannequin. Isn't that fun? What?

That's not a real job. No, she literally was a real life version of the movie The Mannequin. That's not a real job. She came to life. She was a manic. She was made of a plastic. She poses a manniquin in a storefront windows alongside actual mannequins. Why?

Somebody saw me do that, and then he stopped to see what was going. going to happen, but I just froze. I don't know. I just had an uncanny ability to be stills. No one of these are jobs. These are all actors who are like, oh, I did something interesting once. I'll say it was a job. I'd rather have whoever worked at the Dairy Queen

and be like, I had a job before I became an actor. I stood in a fucking storefront. I'm sorry, that's not a job. I think all of these situations are horny, weirdo dudes that are just like, oh, inventing jobs. Like, oh yeah, I need a separate person to do makeup on this corpse. Because I can't do

But myself, like, I can totally do this, but I'm... Yeah, but it's... Actually, you guys are completely right because one of these says Helen Mirren was a carney, but she wasn't a carny. She worked at an amusement park to, like, as a barker trying to get people to ride rides. That doesn't make you a carny. Not a carny. But that does remind me of one of my favorite, like,

sleeper movies that I think everyone should enjoy and it's called Adventureland. Have you guys seen it? Ooh, that's a good fun one. I fucking love Adventureland. It is such a... Jesse... Yeah. I'm Eisenberg. Jesse and Twilight Princess.

Yes. Kristen Stewart. Kristen Stewart. Kristen Stewart. And it's just this awesome summer fucking movie. Like, it's just like, if you had like an awesome summer day, you were like out at the park and, you know, whatever. And it's nighttime now. And you just want that summer vibe movie, that perfect, just like fun.

No stakes are too high. It's just a good ass time. Boom. Adventureland. Throw it in. You'll be so happy you did. And you'll thank me later. And that is the conclusion of Holden's hit movies for the summer recommendations.

That's a good endorsement, Holden. It's many years old, yes. It's a hit. It's a hit hot tip. It's just one of us. It's like dazing and confused. It's just like, man, do you just want to kick back and just feel it and just be happy about a summer time as a kid?

You know what I mean? That summer right before college, you have to take this crappy job and then you fucking find the girl, but she's fucking some other guy. Not that Gina Davis would understand because she's busy going to into storefront windows, pretending like she needs a job standing and posing as a mannequin. You know, it's one of those

where I just, again, I feel like somebody was just like, you are very attractive and incredibly charming. I would like to keep you around. Oh, there's a new job now exists. I just pulled it out of my ass. I would stand here for me, girl. And by the way, if your skill is standing still

really well, I just don't think you're going to be very fun at parties. I wish. I wish I can't stand still. I'm a swayer. I'm a bit of a swaying. I got the jumping knees for sure. Oh, you do, yeah.

Oh, you're just like jumping over the table right now. Yeah, a bit of a jump knee. I think that's the end of our list. You know, a lot of them, they're fun, but I don't think that these are very weird, they're not very weird jobs. And I think it's like, I mean, Cindy Crawford chucked corn.

But the only thing that I like about this is that she said when she was growing up, she referred to it as hot. Dirty work. Gee, ooh. I mean, I'd watch her shuck corn any day of the week. That's like the Rachel Ray video, her shucking corn, and they turned into a giff of her drinking off the corn.

Oh, yeah, it's definitely, it's a j-bone. It's a bit of a jaybone, jiff we got there. Thank you guys so much for joining us today. And pouring your ears out for us. Holden McNeely, the creator, the lover, and Wizard and the Bruiser. Would you say that you were the lover of the wizard and the bruiser? I'm saying I'm a bit of the lover end, right?

But don't, don't you give me your heart, man, because I might fucking steal it. Whoa. At Jackie's wedding, I'm going to give a toast. I'm so glad that she's not marrying Holden. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There you go. Everybody was afraid she was going to fucking marry Holden.

But she never gave in to her heart's desire. To her heart's purest desire. Yuck. But in order for us to get to this point, Jackie's got to get married. and I don't know what's going on. Let the pressure on Facebook. This is good.

Let Jackie know. Corny dad. Holdenoling over there. If you want Jackie, if you think Jackie should be married at this point in life, can you please PM her and just say you should be wed?

Yeah, I should be wed. And then please tell me what a failure I am because I'm not married yet. Because I, you know, it's like, I don't think about it. You know, it's not in there. And it's not the first thing

my mother brings up every time we have a phone conversation. So I think I need to hear it more. And I appreciate. Y'all help for making me feel like this. You guys, wait, I'm going to be married by next week. Oh, you want to see married. You don't get married?

You don't fucking get married? All right. And Molly, thank you so much. Beautiful Molly Neville. Thank you, Jackie. I love screaming with you. Yes, this is a good scream today. My name is Jackie Sprouse.

You follow me on Instagram at Jack That Worm. And we got goobbles and gobbles. If you want more, you can head on over to our Patreon. That page. It's patreon.com slash page 7 podcast. We got turkeys on there. There's not one turkey. There's not a single turkey on there. But we do fun things. And you should check it out. We love you.

And hey, we'll talk to you next week. Bye. Bye. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors, you can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.