Page 7 - Episode 300: Yellow Pocket Angel Eggs

Episode Date: April 25, 2019

Jackie, Holden and Natalie Jean gab about Nic Cage's rendition of "Purple Rain", Taylor Swift dropping new music and "The Act" Get an extra 25% off when you keep everything in your box at http://stitchfix.com/page7 Robinhood is giving listeners a free stock at http://page7.robinhood.com Get your first refill pack free at http://getquip.com/page7 Get a trial month of Hims for $5 at http://forhims.com/rt Need even more hot goss? Join in on the fun over on our Patreon page! www.patreon.com/page7podcast Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Slow songs, they've a skinny hose. Can't move all of this here with one of those. I'm a thick, bitch. I need tempo. Fuck it up to the tempo. I love tempo. I love that song so much. Welcome to page seven.

My name is Jackie Zabrowski. We've got a fun little table here today. I'm a little afraid of how fun it is right now. Are you? I'm scared. Yes. I'm scared at how fun things are right now. Well, welcome Holden McNeely, a host of Wizard of the Bruiser.

Host of a wizard and the bruiser. Oh, no, no, no, no. You have to cut that? No, no, I think it's great. I think you're making me crazy. It's going to stay in. And also welcome Miss Natalie Jean Zabrowski. Oh, shit.

Oh, new sister doing the podcast. Because now she's in the family. Yeah. And now family has to do the podcast. I've inherited the burden. Don't you love it? Welcome, welcome, welcome. We got lots of things to discuss today.

But I just want to just throw it out there. That if you have not listened to Lizzo, you should really give Lizzo a... Everyone know who's not listening to Lizzie right now because... I mean, she blew up in the last like month. Yeah. And this album, everyone's listening to it. It's... I just...

I know that I actually started to cry the other day because I feel like, we've been listening to her for like... Hold and I have been jamming on her for like a year and a half. Oh, Ram and you guys were at the beginning. We were at the beginning of it because there's... You've been pushing it on me forever and I was always like, yeah, I'll get to it. Dude. And now

she's everywhere and because that song Good as Hell was just like my number, it was the first time I'd ever gone for a run ever in my life and I was listening to Good as Hell and I was just like yeah girl I do my hair toss Jack my nails. Baby how you're feeling feeling good as hell and it's such a good song It's such a good song

And now just watching her at Butchella which is what they are referring to her shows as I love how she's got those thick, meaty backup dancers too that her backup dancers are not these like you know little like whatever, you know what I mean? Sticky girls. Stick girls?

Yeah. They're thick, big women with big old hot dog legs and big. Hot dog legs. Why hot dog legs? I don't know. It's just because you're looking at possibly the hot dog ambassador of 2019. Possibly. I think so.

And we're sitting in front of us. I'm sitting in front of hot dogs. I'm also looking at a dancer and I'm trying to tell Natalie, you need to get fat. I think that's what I'm getting at. I mean, I do think if I'm going to be booking gigs anytime soon, that is. That is... Apparently! That is what's happening.

Which is amazing. I'm all here for it. It's great. Man, the videos of Lizzo and her butt, I just, my butt don't do that. I'm trying to get my butt to do that. Girl, I can work. I can teach you how to do that.

Can you teach me out of tour? Yes. Can we imagine me just like, like this? Is it moving? Is it going? We'll see this is my... Dude, I can totally help you do this. What is, how do you get, because, I mean,

I feel also very, like, white boy stiff in that way. And what even, if you were to just say, Give us like an intro to how you would convert our bodies to be seemingly to me something they cannot be. Yeah. What do you do? Yeah. You have to sort of start working on being able to figure out how to isolate your your pelvic floor. Caggles.

No. I mean, it's not going to hurt. It's tiny humps without moving. Throw it in that. We know it's tiny humps, right? Isn't it a tiny humps? It is. It is.

It is. It is small and chirations. But you have to think about, because people kind of think of their spine is like one big chunk, but it's, you know, it's a lot of little vertebrae in there. So the very bottom of it, you have to learn how to isolate that from the rest of your back. Oh. I know that we have it in us as Zabrowski's because my mother used to be a belly dancer. You can totally do that.

And I know that she can do it. So I think that I can do it. The problem is my meats of my butts are not enough. I feel like then it's more of a thigh clap. Thigh clap. Well, I can't do it right now because I'm covered in sweat. So it's not clapping. It's more just like, a thigh squirgles.

Yeah, it's a thigh squish. Thigh squish. I got thigh squish going on. You know, it's summertime. I love a good thigh squish. I like to put a big melan in between my thighs and just squish, squish, squish, so I make a fun dish. Ooh.

Yeah, you're exactly like twerking. You should just do that when you go to the concerts. Right? Just squeeze a melon! Oh my god, that's... I don't know if they'll let you bring a melon in, but because then I think you'd get juice all over the floor and then everybody would be sticky and slipping.

And there we get back to Lizzo. Juice, her big single. Yep. Oh, it's so good. I love Lizzo so much. She's coming. She's coming to LA. I know, man.

You guys should go. You guys should go. You guys should go. I know. Last year, they were $35 a ticket. I'm so mad that we didn't buy tickets. I'm so happy for her. Although it's probably all going to Live Nation.

But she's going to get some of it. And I know, but if we're going to go, we have to get tickets tomorrow because that's when they go on sale and they will sell out immediately. Just get them. Right. We're just going to get them. We're gonna do it, man.

I'm a thick girl and I need tempo. Man, that show would be so fun. I'm a big, big, too. I've been getting so big here. I thought you come to L.A. and it's like, oh, oh, it's so healthy. Henry and I lost a bunch of weight when we moved here. You can't even go, you know,

around the corner without getting some kind of gluten-free option. And I realize, and I realize, you know what, this town, a lot of Chipotle is a chepoelie around the corner and I'm addicted to it. But also. That's not the Lace's fault. I know. Why are you going to do? to Chipotle. There are four amazing

cheap roads. There is a difference between here. I don't consider Chipotle to be Mexican food. I literally think it's its own thing. It's like let's go either get Mexican, there's a good French place around the corner, we could get some Thai, or we could go to Chipotle. You know what I mean? I have not been to that Chipotle once since I have been how? It's so good. Because we're in Los Angeles. But it's also like, Los Angeles, yes, it is a healthy town,

but it's also a burger town. I know when the burgers are great. I keep bonk it and doing the thing. Mary, Mary's here, by the way, and she's not talking, so she can't talk back right now. Oh, buggy, buggy, buggy, buggy, she's flicking me up, just talking with her hands. I was just complaining about how my co-hosts

on Wishing the Bruce of the podcast that I do, it's fun, it's not as popular as this one, but it's doing well. It's getting good numbers. Whoa. Whoa, okay, but it's getting good numbers, okay? And if we put more time and I think we'll get up there. It's doing okay, it's wavering.

Mary gave me the wavering sign. Either way, though. I just complained about my co-hosts always bongs the mic with his hands. I have done it no less than three times since we have started. If you want to complain about something, I think we need to complain about the Britney Spears musical that just got bought by Sony. And I'm not even going to get into all the Britney Spears,

other things that are happening right now. I wish my all my love goes to her. But what I do take umbrage about is that there is a musical that is coming out called Once Upon a One More Time. That's tough. That's an unfortunate name. Cinderella and other always need to.

be saved princesses get a lesson in feminism 101 when a rogue fairy godmother hands them betty fredin's 1960s classic the feminine mystique at their book club it hurts my guts that is what the musicals i think that's kind of unfortunate i think the title is kind of in july i mean it's different okay i don't okay i think brittany spears is lovely as a woman i don't feel ill will towards her but I don't think her comeuppance, her coming through this life that she has, is a great example of feminism. And not just for her,

but all the people around her who just sucked the life out of a teenage girl. What he's talking about a baby schoolgirl outfit? I know. I want to be back to being babies time. She's just a naughty, sexy baby. And this is you're getting to the whole thing where I even liked the school girl look,

but I was even confused during even that. moment of like everyone's just like all the boys have got the big old bones for Brittany and I'm like I don't I don't know she wasn't your type were you more an Xina okay in today's age it is not it is looked at as maybe kind of ish problematic to like act like a little tiny girl and like have a bunch of creepy no kingshames we're not king shame and you're acting like it's one thing and some people are into that I get it but like but you know what I mean as an actual teenaged girl doing it it's kind of It's a little fucked up.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That music was like made for teenage girls, but there were a bunch of older people being like, yeah, I wanna get in that tube. I wanna slide into that wet tube, because she was maybe, I don't know, 15, 16 when I came up. Oh yeah, she was, she was real young,

especially, I'm watching my niece right now, our niece, sisters. She's turning 13, she's obsessed with BTS, and I was trying to talk to her about other K-pop stuff, like Black Pink, and I was like, you should listen to Black Pink, I think you'd really dig it, and she was like, no, I'm not just like, It's like, you know, that's not like the abs I want to look at.

I was like, oh, girl. Oh, no, you are coming, you are going to become your aunt. Why am I having a thought blank, BTS? BTSS. Oh, they are everywhere right now. This really might be something I don't know, actually. I thought I was just, it's different something. I'd be like, oh, the back top street boys.

I don't know, I'm going to, I'm probably going to be wrong about this. It is a boy band. It is a boy band. And so it's like, she's like, when I asked her what her favorite, her favorite one was she's like I don't have a favorite I like them all equally like if every single one of them came to my house on different days I would probably kiss every single one of them I was like whoa girl you get it wow I can't think those things because they're yeah it's K-pop oh and I love k-pop I of course I enjoy maybe more ogling the women

side of k-pop but I do enjoy the boy groups you got me K-pop boy birthday socks one time I did get you K-pop boy birthday socks we were We were in Korea Town. Yes. And we decided to get y'all you. Yeah, I remember that. That was super fun. I love Korea town in New York.

Now I'm trying to learn more about K-pop because I'm trying to keep up with the kids, with the kids, like, but I can't watch those videos because they are amazing dancers, but they are young. They're very, very young. It's really interesting to you because, I mean, I think probably Korea and China will probably be our overlord soon. So we're already getting the K-pop coming over here.

And I think it's time. It's time. has had its time. We're done now. Dude, and they are very sexy. I mean, you know, if I was 13, I would also find them very sexy. But I, I mean, I only liked boy bands way back when New Kids on the Block were around when I was little girl. Yeah. Because then I got into punk by the time Backstreet Boys and all that shit came out. But I had a favorite.

You calling it shit? Everyone has a favorite. You calling my boys shit? No, it was really good music. Okay, wait, wait, so which band were you followed? Which boy group were you following? New Kids on the Block. And who was your favorite? Joey fucking McIntyre.

Which one was Joey McIntyre? I don't know. Is he the bad boy? No, he was the cute little angel. Because I was like five. He was one that looked the most like a girl, so I wasn't afraid of him. Gotcha. Which is why I also had all the pictures of Lance up on my walls because I loved Lance as well as Legalyus.

And Lance is gay, right? Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's so perfect because of all those gay guys you fought back in high school. I tried desperately to have sex with. Are you sure you're not just into gay guys? I mean, I definitely, you know, no kink shames here. Chains here. Yeah, I've watched a video or two.

Who's your hottest gay guy? Who's my hottest gay guy? Yeah, what gay guy would you just love to just like watch fucking other guy? Hugh Jackman. Yeah. Yeah. But he, but in the closet, homosexual man. But yes, that is, that is the one. I want to watch him just like rip apart another man.

Like, he's so angry about his sexuality that he just like, shink. And then like, oh, he becomes Wolverine. Yeah. Oh, yes. Oh, yeah. Yes, that is altering. Hugh Jackman's man. I'm surprised not lame as Hugh Jackman.

5.068-1, or whatever it is. Sorry, I know that's the wrong number. You don't know the number. Don't even try to pretend you know the number. If I sing it, I can do it. Five, four, six, oh, one. I thought it started with a five. I thought I started with a five.

Who am I? Jackie. I'm Hugh Jackie. You're Jackie. You're Jackie. Also, I'm kind of... Although, that sounds like you're calling me huge jack. And I don't appreciate that.

I'm not having a big old girl. I'm not prepared for an apology song. I can't damn. with it. You know, it just hit me too, and maybe this will go nowhere, but how come there's never been a village people parody of in the Navy, but in the closet? How come no one

has done that? For like a shitty, somebody has done that. For like a shitty YouTube video? I'm gonna look it up. Now you're gonna look it up? Speaking of apology songs, Holden and I did participate in April Reels Day on Friday. For those of you guys who not have been listening

to the past couple of episodes, we hate April Fool's Day, and we decided to come up with a new holiday called April Reels Day, Day where you have to be in the same room with someone, look them in the eyes and tell them something that is real. And if it is too real, you get slapped in the face with a hand clapper, which is what we bought for the occasion. We did it on Jack and he's Dating Sims last Friday. And just word of warning, maybe don't do April Reals Day. No, I think everybody should do it. I think everybody should do it. I think our relationship has grown. I completely

disagree with you. I think we will definitely be doing it once a year. I've learned a lot about myself. I've learned a lot about you and your bullshit-ass fucking bullshit that you think about me. And I think everybody as friends need this as a healthy, but I will say I think you should be forced to spend a night away from your significant other during the holiday. Don't do it with your significant other. Not be, I mean, but maybe that's how you find out if the marriage is going to last or not. I mean, and that's scary though, that's it is definitely a, either lock yourself into a room for 24 hours with your significant other during April real estate or avoid them completely like it's your wedding night.

Yes. You know what I mean? Yeah, I don't know if that's... Is that how wedding nights go? Yeah, you don't... Oh, I'm sorry, the night before the wedding. No, your wedding night, she loses her fucking phone in the car, you know, furious with her just after a magical day of fun time. That's just me?

Is that just me? She's... It's fine. We've been taking steps towards her not doing that in the future. Not losing her phone anymore? That's good. That's a good step. Was it healed when we...

You healed whenever we went to Harry Potterland, all right? Yes. Everything was healed by Harry Potterland. Lexie had a wonderful. full time all her dreams came true. You didn't too. I think I was more excited than she was just like. You were.

I was like, I feel like I was treating her too much like a little kid. I was like, look, Lexie, it's Harry Potter. I think she really resented that. Why? You know, so excited. It's so fun. I was like talking to her like, I think pretend as like my mother would talk. You know what I mean?

Kind of situation. But April Realst Day. I have a lot of things I want to say to a lot of other people. I think that our test proved good. I want to do a full formal get together next time. with like at least four to five parties. I want to be privy to, because the thing is, I didn't get to enjoy the fun of watching two other people.

Do it to each other. Do it to each other. That is amazing. Because we did refer to a 420 as April Heels Day because we did smoke a lot of marijuana. I will say that backfires a little bit because, you know, when you smoke weed, you also get very introspective.

And then you have to let it linger. And it lingers. And even if it's something you think that It's like, oh, that's not. For example, Holden told me I need to stop smoking. Then I smell bad, and then he hates that I smoke. I said you're better than that. You're leaving out the complimentary part.

By the way, you should always fold compliments into... Do you start or end, or it goes in the middle? It's the opposite of a compliment sandwich, right? Like normally you're supposed to start with a compliment, get to the meat, which is the criticism. This is, you need to stop smoking. You're better than that. Also, you stink.

Yes. And you see? Okay. You are correct. And I am completely aware of that. I just bought the book. I bought the book. Other compliment, by the way, I said, you know, people really look up to you.

And you're now like this role model. And I want you to just be, you know, and that's an amazing thing. But there's also with great power, Jack Balin, comes great responsibility. There's no cue in my name. Thank you very much. I hate French. Jaquan. Yeah.

I would say if you will continue to smoke, you should at least get paid by like a cigarette company. Ooh. Ooh, I don't know. It's good. I'm going to stop. But then that's the problem. Every time I was in front of him, I felt, like, because I let it linger. And I was like, oh, I can't do that.

Like, I can't smoke if I want to hold it anymore. Like, I have to, like, just stop. That's not even true, but that's not even what I was doing. But this is what I'm saying, this is part of April Real's Day. Like, this is something I need to hear. I bought the, I'm going to quit smoking book. And apparently I need to hear it. There's a book.

Frozen in bed. Yes, the way I quit smoking was, we'll get to the frozen in bed thing. How would you even know? What does Lexi say to you? I'm not saying that you are bad at what you do in bed. I'm just saying that I feel like you might, you may be sexually frozen when it comes to trying new things or being more open about things.

You said you healed. You said you healed from it. Yeah, and you healed too, you fucking dog woman. Good one. You good one. That's a good one. Oh, that was pretty good. That was pretty good.

But look, you know. Are you getting this? Also, I love nasty. Natalie, you're like, or double down and be evil and make money off of the way the women look up to you by killing them. If you're going to decide to go down that path, make money off me. You guys are like my angel and devil right now. Golden's wearing a white t-shirt. Natalie's wearing a black t-shirt.

Oh, you're not real. Yeah. I've got red and black on. Oh, yeah, I like this. I don't want to be the angels, the boring one. That's not true. We'll be devil and more devilish. She's more devilish.

Oh, and your devil? Yeah. I'm like the ninth level of him. And he's like a third. Yeah, look at us. So, but yes, yes, the easy way to quit smoking, I will say, if you are thinking about quitting and you've been struggling, I, not to turn this into too much of a whole thing, but I definitely like tried the patch and the bullshit and blah, blah, blah, it didn't work. But I got this fucking dumbass book and I always feel ridiculous telling people this. But I'm like, the way I quit was with a fucking book.

I know it sounds stupid, but it's the easy way to quit smoking by Alan Carr, I believe is his name. And it just reworks, I think. It just states a case and it's not like, it even starts with like, if you're still smoking while you're reading this book, just keep smoking, first of all, which I think I really like. And it also immediately is like, it's not going to drag you through the health issue coals that I think other. It just changes your minds gave out. I've read the first third of this book like four times. It doesn't make you feel bad and it doesn't make you like and it doesn't be like, oh, this is what lungs look like after, you know, it doesn't do that bullshit because that shit doesn't work. That shit doesn't work.

But anyways, we don't have to keep tight. That's too serious for fucking page seven. She was working in a studio North Hollywood when her brother said, Hey girl, why don't you dress like you should? What was she to do except talk to her stylus at Stitch Fix? Because however you dress, God, I nailed that. However you dress, the stylus at Stitch Fix

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Sign up at page 7.robinhood.com. I want to talk about how the Duggers have seen. started calling deviled eggs yellow pocket angel eggs and I hate the Duggers. It's good you're having me on for this Dugger. That is why I brought it up. I'm a bit of a Dugger

connoisseur. Oh. Oh, I know. Which I think is very funny because Natalie loves the Duggers. I mean, I don't love the Duggers, but I observe them frequently. The way that I love my polygamy shows where I know all of the kids, I can talk I can talk fluently about every single wife, especially when it comes to the Brown family on

sister wives. So how do you feel, Natalie, about them calling which deviled eggs has nothing to do with the devil. It is actually how you prepare the eggs. How do you feel about them being called yellow pocket angel eggs? Well, I fucking hate deviled eggs to begin with. So do I.

Really? Really? Oh, what? All of us don't like devil's eggs? Really? I know. People always get so pissed at me when I say that. Oh my God, your husband. You'll fucking slam them down. There was like six months when Henry only smelled like eggs. because all he was eaten was deviled eggs. Yeah, and also that.

It's like everyone's like, oh, eat all these eggs. And every single time the people who love them the most end up feeling the worst, end up the fartiest, end up just in every way awful. It's like, even if you love them, maybe just one or two, instead of just slam them in the corner. It's a selfish food. It is a selfish. Which of the Duggers is calling them that? It's the mom and pops. Oh, yeah.

See, that's what I would expect, because they're really the fuckedest up to. ones. I have I have maybe hot takes about the whole like son, the oldest son thing, which I blame him for sure, but I blame the parents even more because he was a kid whenever he went and started doing them molesty. Yeah, with the other girls and everything. And they kind of knew about it. Oh, he went to them for help. He said, I'm doing this. I don't know how to stop. And they took him to like a church work camp for a couple weeks. And they were like, he's fixed. And I mean, I mean, yeah, that's how they fix all the Jewish people in the concentration caps.

All right, is this really what we're doing right? So, yeah. The parents are the most fucked of that entire group, of course. Yes. And then I kind of actually like the daughters a little bit, but then they all married turns. Of course they did because they weren't allowed to hold her hands.

You have to at least be able to touch another person before you dedicate your life. And fuck them and live with them and all sorts of things I think you should really Yeah, I think that everyone has their own opinions on that. I'm aware of that. Nick Cage will get to it. That's exactly what I wanted to talk about next.

Why not just go really quick, why not just call them fucking angel eggs? What is it long? Why is it long? The parents are fucking bullshit hypocrite. I mean, they just decided to do an insane thing. They have a cult. It makes no sense. No.

All of their morals don't make any sense at all. And they're squirting out them kids. But what's his name, Jim Bob? He's still squirting it in her, obviously. Yeah, but I don't think she's. she can have kids anymore. Although, like, some of... They ripped out of uterus to beg her to stop.

I think she... I can you imagine... Can you imagine what her pussy looks like? No, it's a ravage. Just gnarled, like a cragkin. It used to be. Like, yeah. We can't even...

I could do a whole podcast series on the Dugger, so you have to cut me off because I'll just keep talking about it. That's one, because we bet Nick Cage to talk about. Scorpion's back. I bet that pussy looks. Oh, yeah. It's like, weirdly hard, but slick looking.

With, like, slimy? I don't think I've ever actually seen a scorpion. Oh, I hate them. And by the way, you live in the desert, so I'm shocked that you haven't seen a scorpion. You don't like scorpion? I actually hate them. If I were to have one, like Lexi has snakes,

even though I don't have the same relationship she has. Like snakes is like so over the top for her. She can't even look at a toy one. Yeah. Do not throw a toy snake at her, okay? Because she will freak out. I would never consider doing that. Did you do that?

No, no, no, no. But like, you're a monster. I would have if she hadn't, you know, literally she can't look at one on a screen. Anyways, I think it's honey I shrunk the kids. Oh. That gave me my lifelong. Terror of Scorpean's terrifying in that show.

But Mary just showed me a picture. They got like meaty underbellies. You could just stab, stab, stab in their underbellies. Don't throw up. I feel like the ants are grosser in Honey I Shrugged the Kid. No. Yes. No, they gross me out.

They're too big. They're too big. The nice one that they, the friends? I don't like it. You don't like Kaluki? No. I think that's its name. I don't think that's his name.

That is close to the last name of Nick Cage's. Spouse of Ford. No, it's Erica Coiqui. Oh, wow. It's similar. It's similar. They were married for four days. We talked about this right when they got engaged

because there was all these videos of him being openly drunk. I'm just been like, I don't want to do this. I allow to do this. They get the marriage certificate. Saying I don't want to do this? I don't want to do this. And then four days later, they got, it was annulled. And now she is suing him for spousal support for four days.

Isn't that a little shady? Of course. Of course. Yeah, but that's expected, right? You know what? Nick Cage, you 55 year old man, you reap what you sow. You're going to get shit-faced and do this kind of stuff. You're going to have chicks coming and taking your money.

That's what's going to happen. That's what happens. And she's like, well, she said it's for if she had missed, like, because she's a makeup artist, that she had missed a makeup gig over the weekend. So, like, that's what she's suing him for. But still, you're in Vegas. You did choose to go to Vegas to get married to this person.

It's just like, man, it's just such a cash grab. Wasn't she also doing weird things right before the actual annulment or whatever that she was trying to like immediately get a bunch of money from him like as soon as they got married? Yeah. Yeah. And that's the hustle, man. It is the hustle. But then this is what upsets me about TMZ is that there is this video out of Nick Cage singing Purple Rain.

And I believe it was a-singing is a stretch really. And he's just like, bubble rain, purple rain. And you know what? They're like, oh, but that's all of his upset. Look at how he angrily sings Purple Rain on Prince's birthday. I mean, definitely. He probably just can't sing. He just screams all the time.

Have they never seen any of his movies? He'll just decide to yell in the middle of a scene for no reason. Mandy is so good, though. I've seen Mandy way too many times. Maybe it cracked him, though. Maybe that's the one that just broke him now. How hot is this chick, too? She's very attractive.

Yeah. She's a babe. Yeah, she is definitely a baby. babe, and she's not as young as I thought she's. She's 35. So it's not like she's... Yeah, but how old's cage? 55, I think.

Yeah. I don't think a 20-year difference is that, yeah, look at this girl. She's got, like, she's got good, like, messy bun. Look at her, like, big dick-sucky lips. Like, she's hot as fuck. It's weird how hot, like, the makeup girls tend to be. Always. She looks like she could just be modeling, I feel like.

Well, modeling is not a good... The thing with modeling is it's not really a career, But if you get into modeling, you can find all these other venues. So a lot of them do become stylists or makeup artists and like, you know, in that world. Because you age, you kind of age out, right? What's like the age cap? But not only that. Like, as I modeled a little when I was younger and they don't, there's not a union or anything.

So even if you're with an agency, you still make shit, you know, like you might be on the cover of, I've been featured in magazines. I wasn't paid for it. You don't get paid for any of it? Most of the time, no. Like, if I did ads, like, I did ads for journeys and stuff like that, and I got paid. Journeys. That's awesome. Did you say that to Henry on your first date?

Yeah. I was a model for journeys model. Why do you think he went out with me? Because he likes tall women. No, actually, that particular shoot was funny because it was a back-to-school campaign. Yeah. And I was like 27 at the time. What?

I mean, you do, you, I mean, you look. so young. It was, it was ridiculous. There was like actual 14 year olds and then there was a couple of us who were in our mid-20s and we were like, this is really fucking weird because we were in high school and I, yeah. Were you dressed like Britney Spears and oops, I did it again? No, no, it was like, or hit me baby one more time. Sorry. Excuse me. I might not even be journeys I was doing that. I don't remember. It was some company I was doing that for. Yeah, because you modeled for a while though, right? Yeah, but modeling isn't like, you get ripped off as a model. At least as an actor and shit, you have a union who protects you, but the agencies don't really do that much for you.

They make sure sometimes you get a check, but it's like 400 bucks for, you know, a multi-million dollar campaign of some sort. And that's why it's just might as well get into the pornography. I mean, sometimes that is the road that's taken. I'm, so how do you think that I should go about if I become the southwestern regional hot dog ambassador of 2019? How do you think I can protect myself when it comes to all of my dog modeling? Can you do little girl dog lover?

Oops. you put too much mustard on my hat on. Like that? Nauty, naughty. You'll have to lick it all off, little girl. Oh, so you're going to just buy it directly into porn. I think I have to, right? That's the thing.

That is, you've got to take it and spin it. Whatever you get that, whatever avenue you get into the bodily world, you've got to spin it somehow. You got to either like make a line, a clothing, like an Instagram followers. SoundCloud wrapping. Or sound cloud rapper, porn. You know, you got to. But not just eater of tube meats. You can't just model and make the money.

Yeah, I guess it would be difficult if I only ate tube meats and then tried to model. I don't know if that would work. There's an audience for everything. I mean, that is true. And I'm just, I'm really excited. I want to start working on my scepter for being Hot Dog Ambassador of 2019, but I haven't gotten it yet. And I mean, I'm really, I'm doing all that I can. I'm cutting it back, though.

I'm going to eat them. I'm trying to only eat about six hot dogs a week because technically you're not supposed to eat more than two weeks. a year, but it's not an healthy choice. Interesting story that I don't know if Jackie wants me to tell, but there was one day when I... Why are you doing this? Why are you trying to dethrone me before I've achieved my... This is, I hit her up and was like, let's do your favorite thing.

Let's go to vicious dogs and enjoy an HD. And then other things happened. I said it. Maybe I don't know. Maybe I'll tell the story. Maybe I won't. Is there a scandal? He wanted me to go get a hot dog. It was early. Your hot dog ambassador of the country was trying to talk me out.

I almost never say no to a hot dog. Of eating a hot dog? I almost never say no. But we had eaten pizza and wings at one o'clock in the morning the night before. No dogs involved in that. And I was feeling a little gross. And I needed a little, not that hot dogs make you feel gross. I just needed a little bit something to, you know, help work through my system a little bit more.

Maybe like a piece of broccoli. Or some fiber. Some sort of fiber on a dog. You can put fiber on a dog. Didn't we end up getting the dogs anyway? Yes, we definitely got the dogs anyways. After some dog shaming I had to do.

You did dog shame me. Wow, but I mean, at the end of the story, you got the hot dog. We got the dog, and I got a hot dog covered in macaroni and cheese, and it was very good. Oh, so you're just trying to find dirt on her to take her down because you want to be the hot dog imposter? I'm not going to say that I have entered my coin

into the contest, but I will say that yes, I'm also competing against Jackson. It's real. Sexually Frozen McNeely is not going to take fucking Jackie's ass down, okay? Because I'm not sexually frozen, and you're a bullshit ass person who doesn't respond to text. April Reels day. And that was another revelation from April Reels is that Jackie doesn't respond to emails and text the way that she should. I'm trying to get better at it.

The second he started talking about it was like, you're right, I understand. I do have a problem communicating back to people and openly trying to work on it. It was funny how we both responded to each other. So I fought tooth and nail the sexually frozen thing. But it's very funny how we were just like, yes, I understand this. I will make this change. And it was very like.

I can't wait until we do an entire room of LPN. Everyone employees doing this and we'll live stream it and just see what happened. Mary is seriously shaking her head no to this idea. This is the thing, Mary, you have to accept my two real card. And if you don't accept my two real card, we do not do April Reels together. So you are safe in a room.

It's like a hippogriff. You have to, like you do the kneel of April Reels. Oh, okay. So you can't just reel someone like out of the, you can't just like, you know, real, you know, real somebody. They have to be a willing participant. They have to, it has to be 100% consensual and it has to be in the same room eye to eye.

That's another hugely important rule that it's because we're in the internet age and this is the opposite of that. This is the opposite of just throwing shade at someone throwing shit at somebody, you criticize someone, rando like on the internet. Consensuality awareness is important. It is important and that's what April Reels Day is doing.

Like the fan who broke the rule talking about talking about how you don't say Beyonce correctly? I got, I had gotten some over the internet shade because I say Queen Bay and I say Bay and J and it's Queen B and it's the B hive, not the Bayhive. But the thing is, I'm going to start calling it the Y

just to piss this woman's britches off her body. It likes saying Bay and J. I think it's more, I just think it's fun. I am aware of the, and it's spelled B-A-Y. It's like, I just like, or B-E-Y, and I just, I don't know, that's just how I said it. But the thing is that, which I really appreciated, is that the guns responded saying,

you broke the rules of the real day, you can't do this on the internet, you have to be in the same room as someone. Yeah, yeah. And that's good. All right, so they came to your defense. Yes, in the Jackenese chat that said that he said to his girlfriend, you can't drive and then she slapped him in the face. Yeah, which is fun.

Yeah, somebody in chat did say, yeah, you can't drive. I like you can't, like you're not good at drive. They literally said you can't drive. Like, you are unable to do it on any level proper. Not even like you're bad at it. Because she doesn't have any arms. That would be right. Maybe that's what it is.

Well, that's good. That's shaming. That's a horrible. Yeah, that is horrible. That's a horrible thing. I mean, it is real. It's a little too real, though. It's a little real though.

That's a little real. Whatever, we got self-driving bullshit coming out soon, right? Yeah. Oh, God. I was talking to the Uber driver about this yesterday. And he was just talking about like, there's good, like, with Elon Musk

and they want to have like no car list or driverless cars on the road. and everything so that you can take your car to work and then it will go work for you while you're at work and then meet you at the end of work and take you home? I love it. I'm scared. Why do I have the feeling that they'll still find a device that forces you to make small

talk with the robot? So, what do you do? I'm trying to break into comedy. What kind of comedy do you do? Improv comedy or stand-up comedy? That's why I don't get into the comedy stuff anymore because one time I had a driver that wanted to show me. But the only thing is that I'm done. I love talking to people. video is clips.

No, he wasn't trying to show me his clips. He was trying to show me his son's clips of his audition tapes while he was driving on the phone for me to give him advice. I can't handle a driver stage parent. I'm not trying to lift shame drivers who are trying to break it into the, I get it. I completely. No, no, man. It's a little exhausting to do it in the car. I just don't want to watch your kid acting.

Yeah. Yeah, I don't want to see your children doing anything ever. Well, this is actually not when you're driving. me somewhere. This is specifically in L.A. thing. This is the nice thing about New York, even the Ubers, for the most part, know the rule that we don't,

we don't, right? Have a conversation. Yeah. But I like talking. See, I like talking. Especially if I'm on the way to something, I'm nervous about something. I should be like, oh, I got to go do this thing. How's your day going? It's got to be consensual. Yes. Okay, consensual 2019. Ooh, consensual 2019. If somebody in the back of

the car isn't, it's giving you one-word answers and they look like they're trying to themselves busy stop talking to them headphones in the fuck you know what it's like to be a girl at the gym I don't like going to the gym very much because that's what that shit happens you have your earbuds in somebody's trying to talk to you like what do you like you like to elliptical you like you ever seen beetle juice before it's a movie get away for me just not you're making a joke but it's not really an exaggeration what we have this fucking guy at the around I don't know how much I want to get it

This fucking guy at the studio. This is, again, an L.A. thing. He literally, in the, in two minutes, this guy, like, cornered me. He was like, so what do you guys do? How do I get in on this? Huh? What do you do? What do you do?

What do you do? What do you do? A lot of synergy, right? I'm the kind of guy. I bring the money people to business to the creative people and, like, all this crazy champ just like how, what's... I think he was a little yacked out of his goal. I think he was on cocaine.

Yeah, it was the Los Angeles, a cocaine. Yeah. But still, it was like, you're my worst. You're the last thing I want involved in what's going on. on in this room. You're the last thing. Well, sometimes my, I think my problem is here is that I'm so used to being, that I am truly and fully a New Yorker, is walking down the street. If someone touches me, I flip out.

And I remember one day this dude ripped my earbuds out of my ear because he was trying to get, oh, door knock does this. Hell no. And he was trying to get my attention. I obviously was not paying attention. And then he ripped it out of my ears. And I turned around and I was like, don't ever fucking touch me. And I just started screaming at this dude. As you should have. And he was just like, oh, just like, and back to the smoking.

And he said, oh, I just wanted a cigarette. I was like, don't ever touch me. Don't touch me. And he was just like screaming at him. And then all these people are looking like, whoa, you're being like a bitch. I was like, don't fucking touch me. Wow. Maybe you don't touch me.

You don't know. Dude, that's already. And touch me on the shoulder. No, no, no, no. Don't touch me. I don't know you. And don't touch me. Unless we are having a conversation, if I go in for a hug, yeah, sure.

I'm down to touch. But other than that, if I don't know you, I will pop you in the base. I would lose my ever-loving mind if somebody did that time. I think I scared everyone on the street. Good. Good. Because then I looked like I was the crazy. Good.

Because you weren't being mellow. Mellow. Yeah, exactly. That's the thing, you know, that's like, whatever, dude, okay? Because I knew you were definitely high at that time. You're always high. Me? But even that will not keep you from, you know what I mean?

Barking. Like what? You're supposed to go like, oh, I'm so sorry, sir. Right. You wanted something? Oh, you want a cigarette? Oh, here. I didn't.

I apologize. Guys. Just get away for me. Take good care of your teeth. Every day, man. You don't got to watch what you eat unless you want to. Better take care of your teeth because nobody else will. Uh-oh, she's teething up a beach boy's b-side because you know what scares the living daylights out of me?

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from her sexy, sexy daddy. And I hate to be excited about it, but we do all, of course, I'm sure everybody's made this joke already, so I'm not going to, like, spin it into something, but I do believe it will make a great album. A great album. I mean, do you think there's a chance that she needed sorrow because she only makes songs about breaking up?

It's possible, but at the same time, she's made it very clear that her family and her kid are her number one priority, which she stopped. That's why, like, part of between that and her ridiculous stage fright, which is why she was, like, drinking a lot to get on stage. So she had stopped. She was like, I don't think I'm going to be doing tours, at least not for a very long time.

And she is very dedicated to her family. She's huge into the privacy of her family, too. So now that it's just this huge divorce. And of course, everything's like, this has been coming on for a long time. It's difficult to read up about something about it because she wants her privacy. And I don't want to pry into these things.

But of course, everyone is curious, like, what happened? Because he's the head of a company called Drop for Drop that provides clean drinking water to developing countries. And so it's like, I think that he jetsetsets all over the place, she jetsetsets all over the place. but they didn't get a pre-up. Yeah, it's just very interesting. $180 million divorce.

That's not like confirm, right? That's just if he, like he's legally entitled to that much, right? But I don't know that actually happened yet. I guess I also am legally's dumb and I am aware of this. But it said something about like trying to figure out her genius. Oh, yeah. When it comes to how much money she owes him and how much money she, What do you mean by her genius?

It seems like there was some legal loophole that you could argue that her level of genius in her field entitled her to more than half of her. I can see that. I mean, I also think that she's going to be, even if she does lose that money to this man, she's going to be fine. He doesn't seem, he doesn't seem like the kind of guy who's like milking her. That's a lot of water, though. That's a lot of water for some thirsty-ass fucking poor people. Drop or drop more like gallon for fucking gallon. They're going to be clunging on it, man.

Big old loads. Yeah, dude. I mean, even if he got like a quarter of it, it would still be money. Yeah. And they've got a bunch of estates all over the world. So I'm sure that they, I know that they're... And she has at least one platinum-as-fuck album probably now coming out.

Oh, yeah. For sure. She's going to make some money off. Even if she had to give away half her money, she'll make it up on her album about him. Exactly. Cheers me. I gave you a...

Why didn't I sign a pream? But then it begged the question of like, I was talking with Gotthaddy about this. It was like, fuck, yeah, I'm a sign a preen up. I don't give a fuck. I was like, I would rather figure out now while I still love you, before you break my heart into 100,000 pieces.

It's like, I want to remember that I still loved you at one point and not be like, fuck you, I'm a fucking, you're not going to get nuns of it. It's also just the way that lawyers ruin, just make it awful. It's just the way that lawyers make it fucking horrible. You know what I mean? Like, no matter what, even if both parties, it seems,

goes in with good intentions, babe, I love you. I don't want to, you know, I don't want to fuck you over here. We're going to do this peacefully, but then it doesn't matter because the lawyers take over and they fucking make it happen, okay? My dad was a lawyer and you know what, dude? I don't have any issues with that guy. Your dad is very attractive. Your dad's very attractive. He's so sweet.

He's very attractive. Okay, I fucking hate that. I really hate that. I don't get She was to fuck my whole fucking stupid-ass family. She was a mother. Not my brother. No, see, that's why I want to be your stepmother. Well, yeah. I think that would be fun.

I would love to defer to her. Step-mummy, Jackie, that's what I would... And I'd be like, you stink, you smell of cigarette tar! Hold on, I could go back to your Taze Swift fantasy. You could become like the Cinderella of the story, and you could be like, writing songs like Taylor. Oh my god, dude. Oh, you want to...

Do you want to have your minute and a half of Taylor? Taylor Swift talk. Well, when does this come out? April 25th? Today's the 24th. Thank you. Yes. So you guys get, like me, we all get in the future,

some big announcement on the 26th. From Taylor Swift. On Friday, the 26th. Have you been following this, Natalie? Like, she keeps putting out, she keeps putting on Instagram. They call it TS7. This is her like seven, like, they essentially, she like goes in seasons, right?

So Taylor Swift 6 was bad girl reputation tour, Taylor Swift's Snake Lord. Taylor Swift. Now it's very like pastelli and every day she's a snake she's like a snake queen she's queen of the snake she's I have really turned I'm like Molly in that and that I'm very neutral I feel indifference about her I I don't hate her right we're talking about the hate it's the same with Lizzo where like her backup dances are amazing she's got the she's got amazing backup dances but she's just I hate I'm not saying that her songs are in

bops they're definitely bops but they she just doesn't give She doesn't have much presence, I feel. Tay? Not Lizzo. No, not Lizzo. Taylor Swift. I love some lists. So every day she's posting, it's all similar color scheme, and every day she posts with 426.

Also, Time named her, like, one of the most influential people in the world. Yeah, but also Chip and Jojo were at that event as well, and they look so cute. Oh, shoot. So it's like this pastel-y new T. Swift. She's coming out with a big announcement, maybe even a song on Friday. I'm very excited. Also, Jackie gave me one of the most meaningful power items I've ever received. Pretty cool.

She, her neighbor, uh, worked on the tour, on the reputation tour, and I have a guitar pick apparently, and I still need to, uh, confirmed, but apparently she played actually used the guitar pick. I'm keeping it in my wallet for now, even though I'm scared to, but I feel like I needed down my person at all times. I do feel like it does give me power. And Natalie said I should probably come on it at some point. So we'll, not sexually.

No. Because he's sexually frozen. I don't think you would do it. Yeah, my penis is a fucking icicle, apparently. It's a connection. For fuck's sake, Jackie. Well, maybe if you come on it, it will open you up. Yeah.

See, there you go. And maybe, yeah. It's more of like a satanic form of masturbation on it. It's more of like a power transfer, not like you're jizzing on Taylor Swift's face. Don't I need to, like, concentrate on something when I come on the guitar pit? Yeah, I mean, you should make, you mean, you could do like a sigil and include it in that. Okay. What do I think about, though?

Whatever you want. Whoa. Wow. Maybe you think about your wife. Oh, you know. What Jackie? You're out of order. How about that? This whole podcast is out of order.

How about that bullshit, okay? You know who you're not? Taylor Swift. You know, you'll never be Taylor Swift. You know who you're not? Jason Mamoa. Whoa. Yeah, you're right, because I still have a beard. Yeah, you still have your manly beard.

He shaved off his beard, and it was hot goss for me because you know what. Oh, Hachimachi Machi. I mean, we've seen him without, have I never seen him without a beard before? See, I had seen him without a beard because he had the beard. I can't remember the name of it. He had this really awful, like, California Surfing Show when I think he was, like, 19 years old. Really?

That I watched two episodes of it. I was like, this is... What, like on Nickelodeon? Or I think it might have been on Fox. But he was, I watched two episodes of it, and it was just not, it was just simply not good. Not even, like, fun trash, because y'all know I love my fun trash.

Absolutely. So I have seen him without his beard, but he was very, very young, and he did this. So he shaved off his beard to bring awareness of the harm of plastics to our oceans. an environment because, you know, he's all Ohana, like he's from Hawaii. I just

fell completely asleep. What was that again? Why aren't you interested in Jason Momoy? Care about the environment, Holden? Taylor Swift's new music is my environment. Hey, Taylor Swift cares about the environment. She does actually. She's, she does she does, she does, I like about her, she's a lot of charity. Yeah, she's a lot. Sorry, go on, go on.

But that's why, and I apologize, Natalie. Just to me. Yeah, no, I don't deserve any apologies. Care a lot about the environment, right? It's been stated before, yeah, she's Oh yeah. Worries about the environment. But then how did you feel about

did you watch that DJ? What's the day? DJ Dickie's Earth video that he brought in a bunch of people for. Yeah, that was cool. The video was basically him doing like an Earth Day promotion of climate change.

Climate change, active, you know, not in favor of climate change. Yes. Yeah, he was raising money for the Leonardo DiCaprio Foundation. So it's like helping, like, like wildlife conservation

all that kind of shit. Laid by a bunch of fucking supermodels every day of his life? Yeah, but at least if he's getting laid by all those supermodels You know, he's doing something for the environment While he's doing it. He deserves it. He's getting his treats. But the thing is that I hated the song so much

And it is a seven minute long video. How's it guys? What's the hook? The video was fun cartoon to watch. It is a lot of it because it made me think of almost like a Madagascar type thing. But he also like he brought in Miley Cyrus. He brought in Sia.

He brought in just like a bunch of other, you've got Snoop Dog that was singing as a marijuana plant. So it was, it was a fun cheeky video, but it's like, we love the earth. And there's like funny. Why did these songs always have to sound like that? But he also like curses in it. It's like kind of filthy, so that's fun.

And that is, at least they did like. I want to eat the earth pussy, that kind of shit. Yeah. Okay. Just throwing in the word pussy just rampantly. Right. But yeah, the songs are good. This song isn't good.

But then like, Happy Earth Day. It links to a website about. helping the great it's definitely fun to watch I would say definitely check it out but I skip through parts of it

right jump around yeah yeah I'm getting it I'm getting it because maybe it's just because I've been so horny because Holden and I've been watching the act together oh yeah that's getting you going yeah I don't even the time to think because I'm just like ooh the act is on

I just want to think about Gypsy Rose Blanchard in all her long long weird sex scenes daddy She doesn't? Can she toxic that? Not that hard, though. Oh, God.

Oh, that's the worst. Sir, can you look me in the eyes when you're touching yourself? But she does sound like gypsy. Yes. Dude, everyone in that show is killing it. It's so good. But Alden and I watched all of it over a couple of days. And it's just, I was nauseous.

I have to say, though, the newest episode, which said it was coming out today. Which we have not seen it, Jack and I, Preface, we have not watched episode seven. And I won't spoil anything, but Henry and I just happened upon it. It just was on Hulu last night, and we were like, fuck yeah. So we watched episode seven, and it's crazy. And this is not a spoiler, but I have to say, Juliet fucking Lewis is in it. Oh, is she painful?

Or is that a spoiler if you say? No. She told me, do you want to know? Yeah. The boys' dad, mom. Ooh. Okay. All right.

Okay, all right. It's pretty spectacular. Is it as upsetting as the teeth episode is? No, the teeth is the worst one. I had nightmares since I watched that. The teeth one was rough. An episode, honestly, even worse for me in a way, that long, drawn-out movie theater scene

really was, like, hard for me. I had to, like, stand up and pace around a little. We kept pausing it and just going, like, out of this. Get me out of this. Every episode feels like it's three hours long. Yeah. But I love it.

I love it, too. I like it's a fun three hours, a good three hours. So we've all been jamming on it. So if you haven't seen Mommy Dead Endear us on HBO, which is the doc about Gypsy Rose Blanchard and D.D. Blanchard, I would say check that out before you watch the act. Watch that first. And I guess also feel bad while you're watching the act

because it was a bit of a stolen story from Jim C. Because they didn't include her in any of the information. They didn't reach out to her whatsoever because apparently she's working on another project called In Proxy where she wanted to more get into the... idea of Munchausen by proxy. To bring awareness to it and to reach out to other people. Well, if she still continues to work, I mean, I'll watch that too.

I mean, I think to an extent this show will still bring attention to her and her cause. But of course, I understand why she's, like, upset about this. It's not all speculation, though. And one of it is, like, they use real, they sprinkle real nuggets in there of truth, but then they make it more of a story. But also, I will say, I am totally team Jepsy. I think I want her to get out and have a lot. life and everything.

Yeah. But she did get that poor autistic boy to murder her mom. Yeah. So like she just has to deal with the consequences of it a little bit. But I mean, she got that manipulation in her from her mother. So it's like, I'm honestly, I'm completely, I know this is awful to say, but I'm disturbed by the, the events of the murder. But I am, I am behind the action of it in this case.

I mean, you got to make it stop somehow. Yeah. She put a fucking feeding tube in her. Yeah, and took all her teeth. So you know what? It's just one of those where it's like when the teeth go, you go. You know what I mean?

That's a good thing to live by. Someone rips out your teeth and that person has to go. They have to go. But the part where they're making fucky fuck, spoiler alert, by the mom's dead body.

I'm like, what? Wait, hold on. That was the thing where the documentary got away from me a little bit. Like the documentary just like, like, just got, I was like, oh, awesome. This is, in a weird way,

this is kind of great. and this is such a fascinating thing, and they were like, and then they were fucking and sucking next to the corpse. I was like, whoa! I think it was, like, a less of a, being turned on by the murder

and more just being like, she's never gotten to touch anybody before. She's free. She's free. And, like, yeah, we can do this as much as we want whenever we want, even if there's dead bodies. Even if there's bodies everywhere.

And this is, this is a horrible transition, but, you know, children. It's time for the list. Who's got the list? Jackie got to have that list. Jackie's got the list. 12 weird and surprising rules that the royal children have to follow. Sure.

Because I have been reading into a lot more because Megan Markle is about to bust. Oh yeah. With child. And she is really going against the grain of being a part of, which I know I didn't even get into it. I know Kate Middleton and Megamarkle have some sort of rift, it seems, or is it a publicity thing that's all happening? Partly just fabricated. I think it's mostly fabricated. I think they just both are very different people and they got their own shit going.

on. And I know that Megan Markle has to abide by a lot of the rules but I didn't realize that this also applies. I mean does make sense for the children as well that they've got a, they have to have a proper dress code. But the thing that's like they have no nicknames. They're not allowed to have nicknames.

In public at least, right? Yeah and I feel like that really, that kind of thing where it's like, that takes all the child dude away from being a child. It's like, call like, stinky. What was your nickname? I mean, Jackie's my nickname. I mean, Jackie's my nickname because my name is Jackie. Oh.

She was like, it usually had it, but it's like even just something. I didn't really have. Like they can't do like short inversions. They have to be addressed by their full, full title's name. That's so fucking British, dude. I love it, man. It's just British shit I've ever heard. Yeah, it's their full titled name.

It's just fun to think about like these stupid things that humans create around themselves. Like, we have these rules that don't matter in any way, shape, or form. And the royals don't do anything. No. But they must be. the one, I don't know if I was on that same list are you gonna read them down? Everyone in the family must stop eating

when the queen stops. That's hilarious. And if I was the queen, I would fuck with people all the time. I would have the dumbest rules. I do like that none of them are allowed to eat garlic because the queen doesn't like garlic either. So no one is allowed garlic. Is the queen a fucking Dracula?

Vampire! It was her birthday on Easter Sunday, so maybe she is. She's 93. Seems to have been living for... I'm not saying words right. She seems to be living forever. Yeah, man. Maybe we put a stake through her heart,

but also they're not allowed to take selfies. Sure, fine. LPN does not endorse anybody putting a steak through the queen's heart. Please don't know. I know. Imagine on Christmas Day they have to do a bunch of shit. Yeah. Yeah, and they got to go to the...

Feet a bunch of... Churchy things. The British Warbid. Their kind of things. Chimney sweeps. They got to feed them. Oh, that makes sense. They got to feed all these fucking poor people.

Two airs can't travel together. That's why you have an air and a spare. That makes sense. They don't say the air in a spare part, but that's still a phrase, right? We need an air and someone for whom no one cares. Yes, and that is the spare, but also in this instance... Oh, the spare! Wait, no tiaras till you're married

I'm the sparr. I'm here for it to be your spare. No, get rid of them. I want the spare gone. Do you like Game Boy? I brought three Game Boys. Why would anybody want that if the other person died? Why would they want him to be the heir of the throne?

Why, let's go to Chapoelais, eh? I want my beef barit. I won't go to Chabulte. And I hate that you gave me the tip about, like, how you get more meat on your burrito? ask for one week. So what you do is, I haven't done this because I don't need more because I feel like I'm always walking away like just glutted, right? From Cholet. Are you being paid by Chippole? This is what you do. This is the move. Okay. Taylor's Swip Chepotel. Go gone in on a partnership

with me. This is the move. Oh my God. Could you imagine needing her, like smelling her? Anyways, but you go to Chipotle and what you say first you have to walk into the store for physically walking. Get a burrito or a bowl. I don't give a fuck what your preference is. Okay. But when you get to the meat part, you go, can I have to have. steak and then after they've poured the steak into your bowl or your burrito you go and half chicken so what you do is you if you say half so you say you can do because you could do half and half and it'll in general it'll always be more meat that way but the move is you wait until they've done and then say half because then they've already put a full giant spoon of meat I hate this thank you Burritos, you just get the other one in there. I love it. It's so good.

I really appreciate your love of shitty non-Mexican food. It's not Mexican food. You know what it is? I was addicted to McDonald's as a child. Okay. And then I grew out of fast food, but I think that this is still me having a relationship with McDonald's. You're addicted to the preservatives?

I'm addicted to whatever McDonald's, because McDonald's owns Chipotle. Yeah, whatever kind of bugs they put in that or whatever to offset the night. Oh, man, it's just like snow piercer. Oh, yeah, it's all just, the bug. fights. Yeah. If they were literally like,

it's bug food, Chipotle, I'd be like, oh no. And then just like still go at least once a week. Yeah. It is.

You got to eat the bugs. Bugs gotta go somewhere. I have been in L.A. for, it will be about two weeks tomorrow. When I'm leaving tomorrow, I've eaten in Chipotle three, four times.

Four times. I ate yesterday. That is. Because there's one around the corner from where I'm at. And it is, yeah. I usually,

only eat it once a week, but it has been around the corner, and I'm on vacation, and you know what? Your fucking eyes both of you too, okay, and Mary. All your fucking eyes are fucking boring holes in my hands. You're like where the best Mexican food in America is.

Have you had any actual Mexican? They can't eat garlic. No, he did. I took him to one good place. I did it. I have that, yeah, yeah. But like I said, Chiboli is not Mexican food.

And does anybody, do you want to know what I get? I get, yeah. So the people at home can go get it? Please, I think this is great. They're dying so. I get the exact same thing every time. Okay? I get a burrito.

Yeah. White rice. Fahita, no beans. So just the onions and peppers, right? They're always confused. Like, no beans? No beans. I'm like, it's the fucking way I get it.

And then it's steak. I'm glad you yell at them. That's good. Catalita wine mix. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. White rice, fajita, no fucking beans. Get the beans out of my fucking face. Steak, mild and medium with a side of hot.

Okay, and that always confuses them a little bit. So particular. Sour cream, cheese, and a little bit of lettuce, okay? Oh, good, gee, because you don't want to have too much fiber in there, yeah. No beans, a little bit of lettuce. And then I get a bag of the chips, the nachos, hopefully they've salted them properly, because sometimes they don't. Sometimes I'm like, what's up with this saltless ass fucking juice?

And then, and a Coke. It's my one time I get a Coke. You know that meal is like probably the calories of a day and a half food. I do not need to eat for the rest of it. of the day if I have this. Okay, good. Yeah, I am good to go. I probably will because I'm on vacation, but.

And calories don't count when you're on vacation. And I do, but I'm good. Like, that's the good thing about it. Or I'm not hungry again until like 10 p.m. You know what I mean? Perfect time to be eating. Yeah, yeah. You might be the most healthiest person alive.

I'm so glad that you have been, you've been hanging out with us in L.A. And thank you guys so much for joining us today. Yeah. We've ripped through this. Is this really already over? Yeah, dude. No shit.

I know, man. Thank you so much, Holden. Please check him out on the Wizard and the Bruiser You can find it on the Glass Podcast Network. Fake nice you're being to me even though apparently I'm Some disgusting, but that is nothing to do with me That doesn't affect my life. Of course, I'm fucking a White Walker over here.

Whoa. You're having sex with White Walkers? And thank you so much Natalie's sister of mine for joining us on this week's page seven. Of course. A lot of fun. And I can't wait to talk to you more about the Dugger family. I'll talk to you all day about them.

I can't wait. Wait, was it Ashley Maddett? that he was all wrapped up in? Oh, yeah, yeah. It's new good. Oh, actually, Madison's the dating site for adults. Yeah, for cheaters, rather. For cheaters.

For adults, yeah. Hopefully most of them are for adults. That's what we can vote for. I love that child dating site. A child dating site. Kitty fun. Yeah, it's called Turnup Greens. It's called Try New Things.

Right, when he sprat from the ground, start dating. Try New Fun Fun Fun. Hey. Try New Fun Fun Fun. My name is Jackie Zabrous. You follow me Instagram at Jack. that worm. And please hit up our Patreon page. It is patreon.com slash page seven podcast. We got oodles of boodles on there. And hell yeah, guys,

thank you so much for listening. We love you so much. And we'll talk to you next week. Bye, bye, bye. Bye. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors. You can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.