Page 7 - Episode 302: A Horse in the Morn

Episode Date: May 9, 2019

Jackie, Molly and Holden gab about Mayochella, the Met Gala and weird turn-ons. Come see us live! Tickets available now - http://bit.ly/2JvdHVW Start your 4-week trial at http://stamps.com with promo code: PAGE7 Go to http://phlur.com and use promo code PAGE7 to get 20% off your custom Phlur sample set! Plus, when you use my dedicated link, http://candidco.com/page7, you’ll save 25% on your modeling kit To get 40% of your first order, visit http://mylola.com and enter Page7. Need even more hot goss Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

And I go walking after midnight out in the moonlight, just like we used to do. And I go walking after midnight searching for you. Coming to you from a closet in Tennessee. My name is Jackie Zabrowski. My name is Molly Nuffel, and it's a small closet. Oh, this is, it's not a big closet. It is a tiny closet. A lot of big closet.

My name is Holden McNeely, and I think that Taylor Swift is not an issue. We're not even. I think you're not really fucked up. Even there yet. We're not there yet. We can all attack her and no one feels bad about it. No, and if you attack someone, I don't know, maybe the attacker or their fans, all of a sudden, you're crucified. Welcome to page seven, Holden.

I call in I'm still traveling I called into the New York studio and Molly and Holden are just mid-fight about Beyonce V Taylor Swift which we have to at least

give the background for people that have not been following this story I will explain how about I give my side of the story and Molly will give her side of the story why do we give a general we have to give a general of what's going on first what happened between us

or what happened between Bianca and Between Beyonce and Taylor Swift. Yes, I will say that I will be sort of obviously a team day, and you're going to be Team A. And we'll just go back and forth. Okay, we'll figure it out. Fair. All right, so this is where the great debate begins. So then that means I'm the moderator.

So you guys have to listen to the moderator. You're the moderator. Absolutely. So this actually hails back to a little known song called Halle Back Girl by Gwen Stefani. She incorporated marching band into her music video. Into her music video, okay? And then later Prince at the halftime show, 1999. he came out with the big marching band,

even had the glowing stuff and all that stuff. And then Beyonce saw what Prince and Gwen Stefani were doing. We were like, you know what I should do? Steal their ideas. Whoa. And have a marching band in my special, which, by the way, I watched Homecoming, and it's unbelievably good.

Can I say this? This is the best part. You're like, it's fantastic. Wait, you're referring to Homecoming. Homecoming is Beyonce's Netflix debut of the whole background, and it's also getting into the meat. of her performance at Coachella last year. And if you haven't watched it,

you gotta get on board because it's an amazing doc. As I refer to it, Hala Beyoncé Back girl is the name of the special to me because she did sort of steal that idea of having a marching man or anything. But you can see that it is an incredible concert.

Oh my God. With an incredibly talented person. Unbelievable. I want to state this for the record. I'm going to say arguably better than the reputation special that Taylor Swift did. I'm not sitting here. saying I'm not fucking blind to like how good her shit is.

It sounds like you're blind. It sounds like you're like a horse that's got blinders on right now. I never accused Holden of hating Beyonce or anything like that. And how dare you bring horses into this, Jackie? Oh, I'm bringing horses into this. How fucking dare you? Oh, do we have a little neigh bay over here? Is it what we got?

Are we got a little nay on our Beyonce over here? I see what's happening. You're a horse girl in disguise. All right, you know what? I just like to spend a little time with them in the mornings because it allows me to just decompress, okay, before a long day. So yes, a horse in the morn for me. Are you with my little pony boy?

Are you a brony? I actually do, we do have a my little pony. Oh, man, and you're a brony? You're a horse girl and a brony. I'm not technically a brony, but we do have a rainbow dash my little pony that Lexi and I have as like a little pet, essentially. Interesting. That is besides the point.

We can talk about that on a different episode or never or probably arguably never, right? Or like very high or very high patronage on here. For like $100 I'll tell you about our pets, our little fake pets. You're going to talk about them. Believe it. I'm like you're not going to bring up the flamingo.

You're not going to bring up the ponies. Okay, okay, I'll talk about the ponies. I'm just saying if you have stuffed animals that sort of have taken on a life of their own and you sort of talk in the voice of them with your significant other, please write into the page 7 Facebook page because I know there's more than just me and Lexi

okay all right moving on all right we'll get in that later is it still his time or is it my time I think it's time I think you've had your time I think you've had your first you've had your first Taylor Swift really quick really quick Taylor Swift releases in my opinion a really infectious great song it's a little ooey-gooey poppy fluy but I still I enjoy it I really like the song

and in it just so happens one part of the video is a marching band oh my God so crazy. I think that was most of it, though. That was a big part of it was using marching bands from historically black colleges. It's like a 10-second bit, and where is the black college? There's not, in fact, everyone in that video is white as snow.

In the Taylor Swift one. Yes, in the Taylor Swift one. Yeah, no, I wouldn't be weird if Taylor Swift got a historically black college. Marching band to come. That would be, that would concede. I mean, all right, she's, that's weird. Okay, like Florida A&M. Taylor Swift's like, I also had.

I also have an important connection with HBC's. Her Connecticut ass. She just, like, has a black baby, and it's, like, the most important thing in her life. Like, you know what I mean? Then I'd be like, okay, all right, I get it. All right, Molly, though, it's time for Molly. It's time for Molly.

Can I just say, really quick, before Molly gets the floor and I will shut the fuck up? Can I just say really quick? It was for, like, 30 seconds of screen time, and then there was a whole rest of the performance, which ruled, by the way, which was really good, and had people dangling from the air on umbrellas,

and they looked great, and I love old school musicals, and I think it was really good, and I don't think she copied Beyonce, but now we're in the hellfirestorm, because this is my thesis, which I'll wrap around to you later, after Molly's counterpoint, Beyonce fans are too mean.

Number two, there's two thesis points. Two thesis points? No, you get one thesis point in the first portion. It's not how a debate works. You're making all your points. Thesis is not thesis. Thesis, thesis take back. My thesis point is people...

You can't thesis take back. Two women can't be in a single space together without being pitted against each other and I think it's fucking shitty. Molly. All right. You love it. You love it.

I for one love it when women are just viciously pitted against each other. Yeah, because it makes us more powerful. Yeah, exactly. We're just, you know, we're just raised that way. But, no, I think that, okay, so this is, I've seen this point being made about Gwen Stefani and the marching band.

And I'm going to say, I'm bringing it up because of how ludicrous it is. I'm not convinced. What do you mean? Because no one is saying that Beyonce invented marching bands. No. No one's saying she's the first pop music to use marching bands. Yeah.

Then why is there a problem? The problem is. So all power to Gwen Stefani and Hollabat girl. That was a fine sign. You know. It's not a good song. That is absolutely untrue. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Don't you throw Gwen Stefani under the bus. Not in my presence. Untrue. Gwen Stefani is probably over here like, what did I do? But in Homecoming, Beyonce speaks throughout the film about how she never got to go to college

and so the HBCU's kind of loom in her mind is this important cultural center for black youth and black talent and so the whole thing is this like celebration of black talent and it's just like black excellence at every level like the dancers, the brass, the strings, the backup singers, all of this. All amazing.

Amazing, right? That's incredible. Bad ass like... Drum major starts it And it's just like thrilling. Amazing. It's so fucking good. Yeah.

And so she does that, yeah. So the marching band is a central character of Homecoming, right? It is like, it is her and the band, you know? She had, like, distortion-y dancers would this be happening if Tatee? Anyway, I'm sorry, I'm interrupting your business. Yes, please. You have to, you're on pause.

I just had pause on you. You just got a pause button. Am I canceled? Did I just get canceled? You didn't get canceled. You just. Pause. Just pause.

So we can hit resume or we can hit cancel the order, though. It's up to you. Oh, yeah. Oh, this is pending. So scared of the culture we're in right now. I'm so afraid in 2019 to be a Taylor Swift fan. I'm just going to say it right now. I'm afraid to go outside.

That's what we're, no, I'm the moderator. Marry, please continue in your point. There are many things to be afraid of. So there is a very, very, specific aesthetic that Beyonce did in Homecoming. You know, her wearing the clothes she did, her being flanked by this marching band. And the image that is being shared

of T-Swift is an image that bears a striking resemblance. It's not the presence of a marching band. It's the... Only drums, by the way. Only drums and Taylor. It's the process. It's the formation of the, if you will, of the band. It is where she is standing, how she is standing, how she's

the entrance, it's with the whistle blowing and the... Yes. Yes. And so it is, it is not just a marching band. It is a specific... I guess I've never heard of whistle in a marching band. It is a... It was a, it was hard not to see that image and I understand, I appreciate you're talking about the whole performance, but it's hard not to see those images as this girl's cop and Beyonce performance. If so, for 30, And there is a history of her doing this before with the, look what you made me do video, capping from formation.

She was made to do that by Kanye and Kim, okay? Whoa. And we don't attack. Oh, she's not made to do anything. And the last, in terms of you, since you made a broader point about feminism and women being rooted against each other. That was definitely aimed at you as a way to like get around the whole argument. And it's a fine point. But I also think that it is worth calling out with another artist, white artists, I think have been rightfully called out for there is a history of white people, white artists presenting black aesthetics as their cool thing.

Sure. Stealing from black culture and being so cool. And I think that even if we're not necessarily needing to individually target Taylor Swift, I think that we can see this as part of a canon of white people. think about Old Town Road. Like we were talking about just a couple of weeks ago. Right. Right. Like, and, uh, and Miley Cyrus got this a lot too, that she would kind of, uh, I felt

that she was straight, but, but okay, okay, explain this to me though, because this is what's killing me. Mayochella, I think is actually like, if that, those tables returned and we were calling Beyonce some black version of Coachella, like, as a way to make fun of her black take on a white thing that she would have allegedly stole, would have been really offensive. Yeah, but at the same. same time, mayo is fabulous. So I feel like, I would love to be referred to as Mayocella.

Please, I want that to be, you know, every time I have sex, I want to yell, Mayocella. It's a good, it's good. But racism against white people just isn't. It's just not a thing that's comparable to racism. It's not a thing. It's not really a thing. We can't say, but, you know, I don't want to get to anything. I just know, I'm going to say, in summation, you are both right in different ways.

You don't want me to talk about white racism in America, right? You know, I usually do. This is usually where I want to take page seven. But this week, I'm going to do something different. We're not going to get into that conversation. And I'm going to say you're both right for different reasons. I will say it is very interesting that definitely whoever, like the team that was designing her performance definitely saw homecoming and were aware. It wasn't like it happened a couple of weeks after that.

It's like, oh, she was in the middle of... I think it was a bad oversight. I don't know if it can be an oversight at this point because if you are a choreographer and a producer of a part of the Billboard and Music Awards, you are aware of Baychella. Can I at least slide into this, by the way, that the marching band is in the music video that she did

that has a breakdown with a marching band. That song was probably written a long time. Maybe not probably after homecoming happened. But I'm just saying it's not like she'd, pulled a marching band out of her ass for this live performance. It was in the music video. Like, she's referencing the music video just like every other part of the performance, the people with the umbrellas, all that stuff.

And Gaga pulling out an umbrella at the fucking met, she's stealing from Tatea. Hot fucking Tate. I don't know. Hot take. Because there were umbrellas in the... I don't know if that's hot take because that happened in the same week. And we know that they've been working.

I'm just going to say, did you guys know that Taylor Swift adopted one of the cats in her video and named him Benjamin Button. Yes, and she carries him around like a baby because that's how he likes to be held. Which also, does that mean that the cat ages backwards? Maybe. Does that mean the cat is going to become a kitten soon because that kind of creeps me out?

I think that is assigning Taylor Swift's a little bit more metaphysical power over the time and age process. Apparently, she's got a lot of different powers. I mean, she has seduced me with her. She has put a spell on me. And so I will disclose that I, do not especially care for Taylor Swift, but I also have nothing against her. It's just something where I just don't, I've somehow managed to go the last 10 to 12 years

without developing really strong feelings about her one way or the other. A lot of people I love and trust very dearly love Taylor Swift. And so I appreciate that. I'm definitely not here to hate on Taylor Swift. Well, a lot of other people are, and I just want to throw it out there. I see so much fucking crazy unabashed hate thrown at Taylor Swift by all accounts other than maybe her under low-cuttingly like stealing shit and I can't speak for that because how do you defend that there's no way to defend that I mean because Taylor Swift is not necessarily an underdog in any

situation no and that's totally but from all account she's nice to the people who work for her everybody I've talked to was said she's incredibly nice to them she's always been very professional that fucking dope testimonial she gave on the witness stand to that guy who grabbed her ass read that yeah that was good that will turn you into that was like my first whoa I think I saw blank space I read that And I was like I think I might like Taylor Swift I mean you're right

You haven't been a diehard forever I will say you were definitely seduced I was seduced You're a recent Go to an arena and be a part of that magic and power Okay I love you will be changed I appreciate your love of Taylor Swift

I think it's a fun And I think it's something that you can bring Into this page 7 community That's very valuable And represent but man I get a lot of hate for it ridiculously Like to a ludicrous level And man

Beyonce fans are fucking mean, especially about Taylor Swift. And I just want to say, I feel like it's not like it doesn't come. I don't see a lot of that coming from the T. Swift camp. And I get there's more anger and there's more bullshit behind what Beyonce represents. She represents so much fucking oppression and struggle. I get it. There's anger there. Unbelievable anger.

But like, come on. I think that it's important to distinguish a lot of Taylor Swift hate, especially as it comes from like men and maybe women too is like look at this ditsy blonde bitch right and so I think that there is like this white ass yeah like I think there's a specific type

of kind of misogynist you know hatred of like a pretty white woman or whatever that is Taylor Swift Tate that is a lot of I and you said maybe some women all women like yeah in my chat in my chat the women who hate fucking Taylor like every time I play Taylor Swift I get hate it's all females

okay so that's so but I got what I was gonna say I think there's a difference between people, I think that there's a legit way to not care for Taylor Swift because you think she's basic. Totally. I think that there is, and by the way, openly admit, I've said Starbucks. Starbucks.

She's Starbucks. She is the Starbucks that I love. She's the really nice one right down the street. Always there for me. I really like the workers there. But guys, I really want to start talking about the feminine power and magic of the female hosts of this show, page 7, because I've got things to say about the fact that Megan Mark

named her child, Archie. And I think that maybe they're Riverdale fans. Do you think that we've gotten to, I think our love of Riverdale has finally gotten to the royalty over yonder. And I just want to say I'm proud of us because it definitely probably has absolutely nothing to do with any kind of family history

or anything, any kind of obligation. At most 100% has to do with Riverdale. How many Riverdale baby names are being produced, right? this very moment. How many jugheads do you think we're going to know in 10 years? That's a great question. How many... Because, and it's you know, they're all names

from like the 50s, you know? Right. Which I like. I like a 50s style. Yeah. So are there a bunch of baby betties? I mean, I dig a Gladys and I definitely, you know what, I would definitely refer to a child as jelly bean. I don't know if I would necessarily call them jelly bean officially, but I really like the name

jelly bean. I think that's really cute. I like jelly bean that's cute. Yeah, jelly bean's cute. I got to say though You know how we love Riverdale on the show But the last you know I spent my life really Since it's been a show Never Missing a single episode

And I and I got to say Would not name a child after Riverdale character And especially not Archie The world's biggest idiot And as somebody I saw pointed out earlier today That child might be a redhead A Redhead named Archie

Yeah It's kind of cute I think between that and the power that we have because as a lot of you guys know, Molly and I every week for our Patreon watch Pretty Little Liars and talk through it and Aria, who is the lead in Pretty Little Liars, is going to play Katie Keen

in the Riverdale spin-off, Katie Keene, along with Josie. And I feel like it also has something to do with our power. Your magic. I didn't realize that she had the titular role. Oh, it's tits. She got the tits for that.

role and man I think she's going to knock it out of the park it's weird though because josie from I know that we don't usually save our Riverdale talk for Riverdale roundup but josie from Riverdale now is officially leaving Riverdale to be a part of Katie Keen and she's playing herself except in her 20s so they're just aging her to the appropriate age she actually is so that's going to be kind of fun it's about like girls working in the arts and their 20s trying to make it in this world so it's going to be a musical dromody a musical dromedy that's going to be that's going to be really good. I do feel a little bit, it is weird because

this happened with ARIA from Pretty Little Liars. Also, they're doing this Pretty Little Liars like sequel now, and like, I don't think anyone on Earth has talked about Pretty Little Liars in the last few years except us, and I think that we summoned it. Like, this bitch, I have to see

Allison from Pretty Little Liars' face all over the subway ads, and I'm like, how is this, we're talking about like the least relevant show. It's like, I don't know when it stopped, but it is not a timely show to be watching. And we here are bringing it back. I think we have this re-inserted it. In a weird way.

In a weird way. Side reblo. You're a witch, Molly. I'm being the fucking Jackard over here, and I'm donning powers at y'all's asses. I just want to take this moment to formally apologize to Molly for having different of views about a Beyonce gate because I'm scared of her magic. You should be. Yes, that's, you better.

Especially she has a child inside of her. That's extra magic. Extra magic. That bends the knee, as they say on Game of Thrones. Yeah. I don't know if they still say that. Yeah, they still say that shit. They also say, oh my God, get the Starbucks cup out of that shot.

What are we talking about? Oh, man, sidebar of Game of Thrones. Do you see Eugene Merman's tweet that was just like, you guys don't know what happens? Maybe there's a reason for having that Starbucks cup in the shot. People have been coming up with, like, time travel things, like... I would watch that show. I'm tired of this old-time-y stuff. If it turns into a time-travel show, I'll watch it.

Molly, that's why you have to watch Outlander. It's fucking... The only thing is that it's difficult because I have to, like, you have to get it on stars. But it's fucking, it's time travel, it's fucking, and it's sex. And I love... And also, like, good acting and good story. Can I just say, though?

It's... I love that you refer to as an old. timey stuff when it's like fantasy, which means it's like a completely different reality that exists completely out of our time. It's all vague. All of that fantasy, it all takes place in like vaguely 1500s Europe, right? It's all medieval times. And why is everyone British? Yeah, exactly. It's all, they're all in a high school play with their British accent. Yeah, like, people back in those times probably, like, they probably talked in a completely different way we'll never even understand. We could even fathom. Hey, Lou, I can't own pay a, take a bag of

A rabbit? None of it. None of it. Completely agree. If it's a fan, that's what I've never understood about fantasy. If it's an alternate reality,

why is it always 1500s England? Yeah, it's so true. Always. Like, be somewhere else. Because they're just so prim and proper. Yeah. But it makes sense,

especially like Gotthetti right now was reading Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norell for the first time. And they're like, that which is one of my favorite books of all time. And I never saw the BBC thing. But like in that respect,

it makes, sense because when magic has come back to England, you need to go about the, like, prim and proper ways of, like, being in the early 1800s. Yes. Yeah, that's fine. I just, it's all, it all, there is no, this Gideon makes fun of me

for this all the time, but there is not, if you ask me to, like, make a list of what is in a Lord of the Rings world and what's in a Game of Thrones world, I'm like, it's all horses and mountains, and I'll be like, are there elves in this one? And he's like, oh, there are no elves in Game of Thrones. And I'm like, I don't care.

They got long hair. They got armor on. They both have dragons. Yeah, they got their dragons. Oh, there's not elves, but they're hard dragons. Like, you know, it's just all the same. Enjoy it, go enjoy it. But it's all the same.

I want to see, like, a Mexican driving a Cadillac through my fantasy world. You know what I mean? Hell yeah. I would love to see it, though. Why is that so strange? To see, like, people with Spanish accents, like, in a fantasy world.

I just want a cavalry of escalates. That's much scarier than a horse to me. A man that thinks he's got the dick power to drive and escalade. You know, that's the dude I want to see going to battle. And the escalates powered by fucking it. Oh, am I, I think I'm sexually turned on by escalades. Is that weird? They're big and powerful.

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Candidcoe.com slash page 7. What's the weirdest thing that turns you on? I would say I get oddly turned on when I'm doing the dishes. I think it's just because my crotch is sort of like up against the thing and it's all wet. Like Betty Draper with the washing machine. Yeah, like Betty Draper with the washing machine. I get oddly aroused. I'm like, oh, weird, why does this happen?

It's because, like, I've got a lot of wet, liquid. There's a lot of hand soap involved. There's, like, you know what I mean? It's a sensory experience. Yeah, but that just makes your pants and underpants wet if you don't have an apron on. So, like, you like the uncomfortable. It's like, are you also turned on, like,

after you go on a water ride an hour after? No. Actually, kind of. Like, slightly damp. Like a wet, rainy day, and I'm just kind of a little wet. I think I might sometimes get slightly aroused. Interesting. I don't know what's going on down there.

just made a discovery. You got a drizzle fetish. I'm one of those people who have like, I like fall, instead of falling up with like buildings or something like that, I fall in love with just like weather. Weird weather conditions. Uh-oh, it's gonna rain tomorrow. My dick is hard. You know, like people have their joints.

I find myself sexually attracted to like cryptids and things like that. Like I feel like if the Loch Ness monster wanted to have sex with me, I would definitely have sex with it. Right. You know, just like riding on top of it. talking like De Neri's riding on the dragon because I don't think she wants, she's the mother. Like I wouldn't want to be the side piece

of the Loch Ness monster. And just like imagine how strong its tongue is, but also like how sharp its scales are. So like you can't touch it too much but just enough. So it's like a forbidden fuck. Right. Sounds like some hentai shit to me. It does.

Hentai adjacent at least. I think you're actually more into anime than you lead on, Jackie. I mean, you just got to send me to the right stuff. You know I'm open. I'm like a flower. I'm a big open flower, just waiting to be pollinated. With a really long tongue. But also, speaking of Game of Thrones,

did you see that Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner, who plays Sansa Stark on Game of Thrones, went right from the Billboard Music Awards, went right to Vegas and got married that night by an Elvis impersonator, and it was one of the cutest things. I woke up next one and was like, Oh, that's so cute. They're still going to have the huge wedding in France over the summer.

But I think that they just couldn't wait anymore. And they just did it. I hate to be a little bit, though, of a Tatee Debbie Downer. Okay? Because that's kind of what I am right now, okay? But I will say I'm a little concerned. And I know plenty of people have made of work, happily long marriages. But I did see that she is 23.

And how old are he? He's 29. So he's a little bit more like, oh, yeah. And I just got married in my mid-30s, so I'm, like, biased because I just feel like I was such a fucking idiot when I was 23. Like, you know, statistics say what, your brain stops developing around like your mid-20s, right? You know, she's still becoming the woman she is. I just get scared for people when they get married in their early 20s. And if you're a listener and you did that and you're happy, I've totally heard many testimonials.

But I just like, I think it's just because I was such a fucking idiot. But you were an idiot. Not everybody's an idiot at 23. I was definitely, I was drunker. You were. I was horrible. Like, I was idiot. Yeah, big idiot.

But I think that's right. I think maybe not everybody was as permanently, adolescently suspended as we were. She's incredibly successful. I think in 23, I was having my unemployment year where I was like, oh, I'll start writing tomorrow. And I literally just lived off the lamb for like a year and like scraped and cheated and lied and stole to like,

We'll not have a job for a year. Yeah, no, she's a millionaire at this point. She's a fucking millionaire with all this crazy shit going on us. She's, you know, dark Phoenix and all that stuff. I feel like it's different than like a Justin Bieber getting married young because, like, he seems to be going through a lot of mental illness troubles right now because he, I think there's a difference between being that successful as a musician really young and being that successful on a very difficult show that she worked so hard on it.

She must have grown up real fast. Yeah. Quick question, too. If you guys don't know, that's fine. How long have they been together? That's a good question. That other thing. Yeah.

Think a couple of years, but I do know that, like, I understand what you were saying for Taylor Swift, that they were dancing to Taylor Swift's song just a couple of hours before they got married. Yes, they were. I think they're even in a quick little shot or something. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. They were having a great time. Yeah, I feel like I have, I've had friends who are.

who are high school sweethearts who got married and still happily together, and some that are college sweethearts and got married and are still happily together and are, you know, great matches. And I am in awe of them because if I had married anybody that I met at either of those time periods of my life, it would have been the biggest mistake. Real bad. I would have, I was not fully formed yet. I was just a little ball of clay still being made.

But I think, yeah, for some people it does work out and it ends up being the right thing, but not for me. And sometimes you go to Nashville and you're just constantly triggered because you were with someone from college that was a country musician. So you go to a place you're like, oh, this is going to be fun. And then it's just trigger, trigger, trigger. I'm fine. I'm doing great. I'm in a closet.

I'm in the closet. You're literally in a closet right now. You are essentially Taylor Swift at this point in her career right now. You're trying to call me Taylor Swift? You're calling me Starbucks right now? No, I'm not calling you Starbucks. I'm calling you in the closet because she Also, it's just this big rainbow production, and everyone's just like, Taylor, you're gay.

I don't know what to see, like. Really? I didn't know that there's a lot of speculation about. There's a lot of speculation that Delicate is about, I'm so sorry, I'm totally taking over the show, I'm making it Taylor Swift's talk. I'll stop talking about it. No, I know you've got, this is a big, this is a big Taylor Swift time. I understand.

It's a big moment for her. It's a big moment for all of us. But it's like she, there's like all the speculation that the song Delicate is about this Victoria's Secret model that she spends on. a lot of time with and they're very touchy, lovey, and they get, you know, she gets drunk and she's kind of all over this girl and a lot of little, like, whatever's.

I think a lot of women have that relationship with other women, though, because, like, I've never, I'm not a very touchy, feely person, and I've never really, I didn't even have that, like, you know, with my sister or anything. Like, we never just, like, cuddled up and kissed and, but I also know a bunch of people

that are that way with their friends. And when I become friends with them, I'm like, oh, no, no, I don't. I'm not. I have to like, we have, there has to be like, I have to look you in the eye. I'm like, I'm going to hug you to hug you. I think I've touched Jackie twice since I've known, and we've known each other for a decade now. And I'm going to say I come from a family, we don't touch.

Yeah, I had a friend in college who used to like, just like in pretty little liars, the girls are always linking arms when they walk. And I had a friend in college who loved to lick arms when you walk. And I was like, I looked like I was being held hostage. I would like, clam up. And I loved this friend. It wasn't that I didn't want to be warm with her. But I was just so confused by it.

I was like tiptoeing next to her. Like I was walking on eggshells. It just made me so. And it didn't, it wasn't a negative, like uncomfortable feeling. It was just an, like, an unfamiliar feeling. It's just the intimacy. Yeah, you weren't worried that, like, people thought you guys were together. No, not at all.

No, I don't care about that. It's more just, like, it's just the comfort level. And I also don't even think to do it. I feel like it's, since, I feel like if you weren't raised with that kind of touch all the time, And it's hard to integrate that into your life. Like with Goddadi, I am very much like that. But with most anyone else, but he also, you know, is inside of me sometimes. So it's like that, you know, that's a whole different ball game.

Totally. There's full intercourse happening. I think one of my most upset things is watching families that kiss on the lips. It just, and I get, it's not even illegal or bad. It's like if that's the way you show affection to each other, that's the way you show affection to each other. But there's some, especially when the lips touch. the lips. I get a little thrown.

Some, I have been in some, not family situation, but like a kind of extended friend of different generation situations where I think that some people tend to be of older generations have a practice of just kissing anybody on the lips. Like an acquaintance, goodbye, hello and goodbye, kiss on the lips. And that'll really take you by surprise. That's really going to throw you off, yeah. And same with like some people who like to. I blow a whistle if that happens.

Some people kiss on the cheek to say hello, and I never remember which of my friends do that and which don't, and I always go for the hug, and they always end up kissing my neck, and I always feel so bad. This is my fucking issue, right? I always do the, I try to do, with other dudes, I try to do the, like, classic bro hug thing where you sort of hand, you do, starts with a handshake, but then full intention, I want to go in for a hug. Like a Lord of the Rings hug. And like, half the time, I'll go for the handshake, and be like, no, man, we hug. I'm like, I know we hug, dude, but I'm doing the motion. We're going to do the whole thing, baby. Just fucking hang with me right now on this one, bra. Follow through.

Follow through. Don't worry. I got you, boy. We're going to hug. We're going to press up against each other. I'm going to put my arm around you. It's going to be a big old bear hug. But like, let me, let's do the flow.

Let's make it smooth. Because then I can also give you the option to not hug, which I think is very considered. If you do the handshake and you can tell they're not really, you know what I mean? Yeah, I think that that's good, but you can feel it out because what When I had a problem, when I moved to New York, I don't know if it was hanging out. I don't know what every time after time after time,

I would meet a man in a social setting. I would put out my hand and he would already be coming in front. And then I would be put in this awkward position of like sliding my hand around his abs. Yeah, the snake hand. Then you snake in them. Yeah, the snake in them. And they're like, okay.

And it wasn't ever like in a situation where I didn't want to hug them. I just didn't assume it was a hug. It was often seeing an acquaintance. or whatever. And so I abandoned handshaking and now I just hug people because I'd rather be caught

I found it was better to be caught with my arms out and then adjust to a handshake than to have my hand out into the guy's stomach and have him be going in for a hug. And then you have to fold it into and then your hands up in between your stomach

and then his stomach is pressing against your hand. I guess this is my stomach. Yeah. Ugh. Yeah. I hate that. I'm telling you.

It happened enough where I like sat down in my head and was like, it's time to change the policy. The new policy is always assume they're going for a hug. Right. I pretty much have to assume at this point, but I want to give them that out. You know what I mean? My problem is, after all of these awkward encounters, I always have to do the, man, yeah, because, like, I was going in for the, and then you are doing the, yeah, that's,

I mean, you have to do that awkward correspondence with someone else. We're just like, we are in our 30s. How come there still is it, like, how, how come? I still can't hold myself properly to be cool with meeting other people and just be like, this is all good. Like we're just gonna, there should be a form. There should be a form.

I guess it because holding like, shaking insane with like, I've been around a lot of family this week. I've been around a lot of goth daddy's family. And so that's a whole different thing too where it's just like, do we do the kiss on the cheek? We are just meeting for the first time. But also like, I guess maybe someday we're going to be family. So we have to do the family touch.

People are like, oh, come on, let me give you a hug. I'm so excited to meet you, even though I just met you, which is a big. And I did that recent, my brother with the lady he's seeing the first time I saw her. I was like, you know what, this is not like me. I'm going to just go straight in for a hug. He's crazy about her. It's totally working great. And then she kind of didn't.

That's what I'm scared of. Respond. And then I was like, oh, hey. And then I'm just standing like way too close to her saying hello. And I feel like a complete psychopath. Yes. because you are. But that's what happens.

You let down your guard and you immediately get punished for it. Yes. Have you guys seen the really sweet... Jackie, you said there should be a forum. Have you seen there's like a genre of viral video now that I think is so wonderful and honestly adults should totally take it.

I don't know how we would implement it, but in classrooms, like kindergarten classrooms, there's videos of teachers putting up a little chart where you can choose high-five, handshake, hug, or a wave. And then the kids come in, and then they point to what they want to do to greet you that day. So the teacher, sometimes it's a kid who's like the designated greeter,

and then sometimes it's the teacher. And so a kid who doesn't like to touch can point to the wave and just a wave, and that's like low commitment. I don't have to touch you. Right. The kid who is the big cuddly huger can point to the hug. And it's like such a good way to teach about consent and communication. That's great.

It's wonderful. And when I was a kid, I hated when adults who weren't my family hug me. Right. And teachers would hug me. Yeah. guidance counselors, I had a guidance counselor who said you can't leave the room until you hug me and I hated it.

See, that kind of stuff would just immediately make me cry. Like, that would still make me cry. You can't leave this room until you hug me, girl. And it was, I wasn't alone there. It was like a group of kids and she was like, everybody has to hug. That's your exit ticket or whatever. And I was like, ah.

I like, but I love that idea. So that's your trauma. Yeah, right. But I think that we. We found it, Molly. We found it, Molly. We found out why I don't touch anyone. We found out why you were.

disaster at 23. But you could, you know, we could all have a little card that we carry around or tattoo or something where we point. A tattoo? I was thinking a color-coded necklace that you can change the lights on. Like, you know what I mean? You can kind of, like, I'm thinking a light system or something. That's a good idea.

Like the STD bracelets or what is it? Like the how far you've gone bracelets? Remember those? Oh my God. Did you just see that they are coming out with condoms that will change color if there's an STD happening? Pardon? No.

You didn't see that? Wow, I should have added. I mean, that's going. I mean, that's not really paid seven fodder. No, I'm very intrigued. What do you mean? Like, is it just like the pH levels? I don't know how the technology works, but it changes.

That technology, one bit. I mean, it changes colors apparently if, like, you know, you're going, go, go, go, go, go, go. You know, having full sacks. But what are you going to do? Like, use the condom in the middle of the gun. Like, hold on, let me turn the light on. And let me turn the light on.

Oh, it's just. green, that means I gotta leave. No, it's more so that you can say the phrase, you got some splainin to do after the intercourse. You know what I mean? Which is a fun phrase to say. I never want anyone to say that to be after fucking, you got some spleenin' do.

Because you've been like crying during the sex, so that's... To kind of add to the like... Why do you get here? To the mild discomfort around like disposing of the condom, you can take it off and then look at it and be like, what does it tell us? Hold it up to the little manual that comes in the box and compare the color. Like, who's, what purpose is this sort of thing? Well, I guess we shouldn't have sex.

Anyway, thanks, you know. By the way, not to, like, go away from the thing I brought up, but, man, the high five, brutal. Brutal every time. Every single point. You have to look at the elbow. I know, but that's not what goes through your head in the moment. What goes to your head at the moment was like, well, gonna fuck this up. You always look at the elbow.

That is something that really does. It works every damn time. I hate the second makeup high five, too, even worse. Even if I nail the second one. Talk about the post-op analysis. Oh, we missed. Let's try again. Or I'm gonna posit a third worst situation,

which is when one person goes for high-five and the other goes for a fist. Oh, yeah. And they grab the fist. Oh, yeah. And then if you have to talk about it, you're like, oh, I thought you're, We're going to go.

No, that's when you do the turkey. Isn't that the turkey when you do the high five and a fist bump? Then you go, blah, lo, lo, lo, blah. I just say, I caught the baseball. That's good, too. That happens to me. I am a catcher. I have won the game.

Home run for me as catcher. Would you like to see my color-changing condoms? Why are you walking away from me? I really want this job. I caught the baseball. I guess, speaking of color-changing condoms, condoms. We have to talk about the Met Gala, and I imagine some color-changing condoms may have come back, yuck afterwards. You know what I mean? I feel...

What is that? The good check way, though, check. It was so rough. I'm working on my transitions. I'm trying to get better at them. I would thought you were going to go in the direction of, to bring her back up. Lady Gaga was a bit of a color-changing condom on the red carpet. Yeah, but I don't think she's filled with SDDs. No, not because she has STDs, for some. I mean, you don't, you know. No, her transformation outfits were insane. But then, of course, by the end of, like, her outfit kept changing, her outfit kept changing

then by the end of it, she's just in her sexy underwear. And I was just like, well, you know, that's fun. It's just your underwear. I feel like I am, I want to talk about the Met Gala, but I was nervous coming here because I feel like I am not queer enough nor versed enough in queer culture, nor seen enough John Waters movies to truly, like, be able to respect the theme of camp. Well. And a lot of people, I think, nailed it.

And then a lot of people were like, you know, I think a lot of people who understand what camp is were like, you can fuck off, Remi Malick. And like other people who just were like, I'm wearing something a little sparkly. Right. Or, and how quickly camp like with Katie Perry with the burger dress. I know we're jumping all over the place.

But like even that is like, that's not really camp. That's like your internet cute thing that you've been doing since the shark days. That was her after party outfit. Her at the Met Gala. Did you see she looked like a sexy lumiere, you know? Uh-huh, which is cool. And I'm into it. I don't want to knock her too bad, but I'm kind of like,

oh, you're just still playing the funny internet meme fiddle that you've been playing since those dancing sharks were on stage with you. There was actually a great tweet suggesting that somebody who would have nailed the camp theme since it kind of rejects all, you know, taking itself seriously and kind of elegance and whatnot is Guy Fieri. Sorry, Fieri. Thank you. He's kind of camp. He's camp.

I mean, I don't think he's queer. He's exaggerated because it's exaggerated. It's like a celebration of exaggeration. Yeah. Of distortion. Right. Distorted things. And was John Waters invited to the...

I think that that was part of the controversy. Yeah. Well, that sucks. And, like, Divine is... Is Divine still alive? Like, where are these people? Where are these icons of camp? Right.

I think there was a consensus. There was not enough drag queens that were invited. And then it was a bunch of people showing up, like, trying to be drag queens that aren't and you're trying to bite it a little bit. Well, and that's why, like, you know, it's like even just the idea of, like, I don't know exactly what it means to be camp, but I do know, see, even when you were talking about the Katie Perry outfit,

I liked at least that her dress was the lettuce. I thought that was fun. I thought the burger dress was fun. Yeah. Yeah, I just don't know if, like, yeah, Katie Perry is definitely, like, weird and uses a lot of props, and I don't know if that counts as camp or not, you know. Well, that's been more of the,

back and forth, right? I do like a celebration of exaggeration. Also, I think there's an element of tackiness. Also, you should watch more John Waters movies. I know. Because at the end of, oh, which one is it? The really good one. But anyways, it's a shot of divine.

Pink flamingos? Pink flamingos. She bends down on the street and picks up a piece of dog shit and she eats it. And people were like throwing up in the theater. And it's like, it's an amazing film. It's absolutely atrocious. You will be upset the entire movie. Honestly, Molly, I don't.

think I might say that maybe John Waters movies might not be for you. No, I like, I mean, I definitely, you know, I feel like I know enough about why John Waters movies are like hilarious and important. A drag queen eats dog shit. Real actual dog shit from, you watch the dog, I think you see the dog shit and then Devine just yum, yum, yum, with a smile on her face, just eats it. That's camp. And nobody did that at the Metcala. So especially not Kendall and Kylie Jenner, which I don't know if you guys saw their outfits, which I thought that they did look like a lot of fun.

But man, when Marlon Waynes compared them to the outfits that they wore in white chicks, that was pretty funny and spot off. Also, when I saw them, I didn't immediately think camp. They were just wearing, it was almost like what the people in Beetlejuice would have worn to like a dinner party if they were a little more colorful. You know what you mean? Right, right. I think there was like, I think that there was some debate about what was kind of a cop-out

because people were still trying to like look really cute, sexy. Yeah. Like I liked Cardi B's dress. Camp is letting go of cool. Like camp is not cool. I am woman, hear me roar! And there's nothing quite like the feminine shrieks of never touch me again that comes along with having your monthly bleedies.

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That's promo code page 7 at Fleur.com to get your first three Fleur fragrance samples at 20% off. P-H-L-U-R dot cam. Cardi B's dress was awesome. Do you know that the jewels over her nipples that were supposed to look like nipples were like alone $50,000. Just those tools. Offset had that tweet that was like, do you see my,

I know that there's a lot of criticism against him for how he treated her and stuff, but it seems like they're back together and they're very happy. And he had a tweet that was like, she looks so hot in that dress, she's so cool, she's so amazing. It was just like a really sweet.

And then she was like, come see what's under this dress, baby. And she's like, it was very, they're always having very sweet, sexy interactions and I liked it. Dude, talk about a couple that, books. Oh my God, can you imagine? I would watch that tape. Hachy Matchy. And she's got like, you know, an 11-month-old or something. And so I like that she's like, yeah, I've got an 11-month-old.

I'm a new mom. And I also love to fuck. And I'm going to talk about it in public. I think that that's something that's doing a service to everybody. Which I also love because Tiffany Hanish looked amazing. But what I love is that she was very open about the fact that she stuffed and cooked a whole chicken and shoved it in her purse for the Met Gala, which is a series of, I'm very happy that now celebrities are coming out more about bringing food with them to these events, like when Melissa McCarthy, when I believe it was at the Oscars or was the Golden Globes when she brought a bunch of sandwiches to hand out to the people that she was also sitting around, because they're sitting there. And even though you eat at the

Met Gala dinner, it's like, do you really? I mean, it's, I think it's more just like you're going around and talking to people and doing that kind of thing. I don't think it's really something you're going to fill up on. And if you're drinking that much and you're wearing ridiculous outfits, you're going to be sweating your balls off. You've got to be full. By the way, though, and I hope that she did this on purpose, that full chicken in her purse, probably the most camp thing at the Met Gallagall.

Right? That's definitely pretty camp. Totally. Specifically because it's a full chicken and it's just in her purse. That is the most camp. Yeah. Whole chicken in a bag. What a shame of being rich that you can't.

I mean, my most exciting thing about if I get to go to a party that I know is being held by people with money, the most exciting thing is what is the food going to be? I want the food. I want to eat a bunch of food. Yeah. Eat. What are the drinks? What's the going to have the top shelf?

Yeah. Yeah. How sad that, you know, that it's not about the hors d'oeuvres. Right. Did you guys see Kim Kardashian's dress that, like, I don't know if it's necessarily it's camp? I did like it because she looked like she was not only wet, but it looked like she was in the middle of a rainfall. And all of the internet was losing its mind

because her waist was so small. So I was on my way here and I didn't get to actually watch it. I think somebody posted on the page 7 Facebook as I was looking at Facebook on the way here. And there's a video of her getting into that corset and apparently it's deeply unsettling. Oh, man, it is upsetting. Oh, you watched it?

Oh, I watched it. She couldn't sit down. And that's why she wanted to show her. everybody, it's like, no, of course, yeah, this is not natural. I am. She had a corset specially made for her, and on the way to the Met Gala, she actually couldn't get into a car because she couldn't sit down, so she ordered a boss that she could take so she could stand the entire way there.

She should have taken a segue, the segue here the whole time. That's what I would have done if I was in a costume work. She rolls up on a segue. That is terrifying. I would be mortified to break a bone to alter. your body forever by doing something like that. And she has birthed, what, one kid or two kids? I know that the third was a surrogate. She's born a robot. I think one's actually a cybernetic that they grew in a lab. But she grew at least on... She also has another one coming, by the way.

Yeah. And but, but, but, but this is, forgive me for this is the frame of reference for everything now, but I'm like, people push babies out of their bodies and then do amazing things their bodies to then keep going on being like a famous person in the public life. It seems unhealthy. Which is a huge part of homecoming, which was amazing to watch her being, like, still, like, recovering. I can only eat a nut in the morning, a slice of pear's skin. And, like, dancing her ass off, literally, like, dancing her way from postpartum with preeclampsia, which is what I had, an emergency C-section with twins, and gained, she gained, like, I think she said she was two something. I don't remember how much total she gained, but gained a lot of weight with a twin pregnancy,

and then just gradually, but not gradually, like, dancing all day. And, like... The sheer amount of choreography in Homecoming is so unbelievable. That was the thing Lexi and I just kept saying back and forth. The only thing is, though, you know, at the same time, she's not really up there playing a guitar or piano, so doesn't really have that going on. She is singing and dancing her... The other pop star is not dancing.

Taylor Swift is barely... moving on stage. No, no, no, no, no. We can, that is not something you could ever compare. She does choreography. Oh, it's just like, I put my I'm here. She has a lot of it. She does a lot of hand, she does a lot of hand dancing.

She does a lot of hand dancing. You know what? I can do hand dancing right here. I'm doing it right now. Beyonce just, Beyonce just make, you just cannot watch Beyonce dance without thinking like, sex, sex, sex. Right. You know, it's just, she just dances.

Pure sexual energy. The thing that I kept thinking about the choreography while watching Homecoming was like, her dancing looks so effortless. Like some dancing, you watch it, and you're like, that's dancing. And you do think that with Beyonce, but it looks so effortless. You watch it, and I was like,

if I were to do any of these dance moves, it would not even look like I was dancing, but she can do it, and it looks the most amazing thing. Yeah, have you ever tried to learn the choreography just to all the single ladies? Did you even do the, uh, oh. Like I was watching the video, trying to learn it, of course.

like you do, stoned by yourself. And even that is difficult. Even the way she moves her hands to the beat, but off the beat, but to the beat, I can't do it. Even, and single ladies is really, one of the cool things about Homecoming too is thinking about the kind of decade plus

of adult fully realized Beyonce, and that how much more, like, how much has changed and grown since, like, lemonade Beyonce is so different than all the single ladies Beyonce and like, but it's all still so good. But like, the dance for, formation and like, you know, just watching it, I was like, it, how do you make these, how do you make your body look so effortless in doing something so incredible that literally if somebody

else did it, it would not even look that cool, but when you do it, it just looks like the most magical. It's just amazing. And, and, and for me watching it, you know, the part in the movie where she talks about how hard pregnancy was for her and her, you know, preeclampsia and C-section, I was like, and then to see her, to see her dancing like, you know, to see her dancing, like, like this. It's just so, I mean, not eating anything is perhaps a little bit weird, but like, it's just so inspiring to see, like, that you can have your body go through something as intense as, you know, two pregnancies, three kids, and then you can, like, do this with your body. I was so fucking moved by it. Hell yeah. Totally. Totally. I'm sorry. I just, I didn't mean, I don't mean to circle

back around to Kim Kay just real fast, though, because I am loving on her as of right now, and I just feel like we have to talk about this before this episode is over? Yeah, it's pretty awesome what you're about to talk about. And I just, I feel like if you don't know about it, everyone should know about it. Heal turn. Anti-heelter, face turn. She turned to a good guy. No, she is now, because I think a lot of people know that she's studying to become a lawyer

herself, but over the past, and I know this is toilet flush area, we don't get into this area very often. We're not going to talk about it too much. I just want everyone to know that Kim Kardashian over the past three months, has gotten 17 prisoners out of jail that were serving lifelong sentences with no parole for low-level drug offenses. And she's done it all on her own dime. Yeah. It's kind of amazing.

And to see the smiles on these guys' faces, there's, like, pictures accompanying, like, the different, you know, with the different things. And you're just like, my God, that's awesome. And everybody made fun of her visit to Trump. and this is the, you know, at least, like, this is what came, why she did that was to get this happening. Yes, and at least she's working on something that is for the greater good. And I just want to say it's like, you know, it's like, oh, they've got so much money and, oh, they can do whatever the fuck they want.

But you know what? I just want to throw out a thank you for doing something good and doing something positive that we see in the news because that's very rare. And it just, it makes my heart feel good. Yeah, well, this is what rich people should do with their money. You know, I think that, you know, Nobody should have that much money without having, without being able to put it back into, you know,

the community and people and spread it out and help people health insurance and stuff. But if you got all that much money, yeah, fucking freeze some political prisoners or some prisoner, you know. Get me health care. Prison abolition. I need it. I need the health care right now. Yeah, work on universal health care next. But, yeah, I think it's awesome.

Like, you know, Kanye's on, obviously, I've defended Kanye a lot on the show. You have? Less interest. Before Trump, before Trump was president, I was more interested in doing that. It's bipolar. Less interested now. But I am totally into Kim being into prison.

I mean, she's not a prison abolitionist yet, but she is into criminal justice reform, and I think it's fantastic. I like Kim Kardashian, prison abolitionist. It's not a phrase. Not a phrase I thought I would be hearing at any point. but, you know, God willing. I use my wizard powers and will...

Yes, use our wizard powers. I just want to see a shot. A wizard Jackie and Molly. I just want to see a shot of Kim Kardashian pulling a lever in this huge gate opening and all these dudes in like pinstripe prison stutes like classic style just running, screaming across a field.

Yeah. And then we're going, yeah. Yeah. But everyone's flying because of the... It's also done with magic. Magic. But guys, it's already time for the list. Holy shit.

Oh, shit. Who's are the list? Jackie, got to have that list. I got to get used to singing Jackie. Got to have that list. Yeah, I got the list. Well, I was going to get into way more about my Tennessee trip, but don't worry, guys. It's not going anywhere.

I'll tell you all about it next week because I wanted to get into weird laws in Tennessee. Because I went down, I found out when I first got here that apparently driver's ed is not a thing here. That it's something that you, like, it is something that families teach and, like, you learn from other people, but there's no actual enforced driver's ed, which also shows why I wouldn't say that they're the best drivers in the road I've ever seen, but also I don't drive. So who am I to talk about this? But I thought that some of the laws that I was looking at were kind of fun after I looked that up, because did you know? that you can't use a lasso for fishing here. Did you know that? Did you guys know?

Yeah, I actually did know that. That if you participate in a duel that you can't hold any public office in the state. Wow. Yeah. It's got to be disqualifying. That's got to be tough. That was rough. In some, this one I think is my favorite.

And Molly, I thought about you, which is actually why I wanted to say this list. So apparently in Memphis is technically still illegal for a woman to drive a car unless there is a man either running or walking in front of it, waving a red flag to warn approaching motorists and pedestrian. That a woman is coming? When a woman is driving a car. Because people thought they were bad at it. Because they're bad at it.

Watch up! Watch the fuck out! You know, good for that guy for putting his life in danger by standing in front of that car with the woman beast in it. A woman driving a cucka car? I would just be like, whoops, I can't drive. I hit the accelerator and I hit that guy standing in front of him. Whips, I killed him. I murdered that man.

God, I love to see old-timey Molly. Oh, how badly when I love to see Molly dealing with a world in like the 1920s or something. This is probably back when cars were so, you know, like little. prop cars they couldn't actually run anybody over. Right, right. Yeah, exactly. Just kind of bump your butt. Just kind of bump that man and be like, shut up. I'm a fine driver. Apparently, oral sex, giving and receiving oral sex, is still prohibited by law.

For both? All genders? I mean, it just says oral sex, so I guess, you know, if no one can have it, then no one can have it. And that's kind of nice, though. Can you bet you can you eat a fucking ass? I guess so. I think eating an ass is still oral sex, right? I think that that still counts as oral sex.

I mean, it depends on who, you know, some people have their weird definitions of what sex is and say like, well, I'm a virgin except I've done anal or whatever. But I think that if, I think that what in what the kind of modern consensus of what sex is, yes. How about this?

That is sex. Could you draw a mouth on an ass and then fuck the ass? Ooh. But then I think it then it's extra oral sex because the mouth. Because the ass is a mouth, right? Right, right. I think you can still be Christian, though, if you do that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then it's just like getting your dick sucked off, for sure. Also, this goes for you, Holden. No males can be sexually aroused in public. Oh, that's impossible. It's illegal. So why don't you stay away from the Kid Rock Steakhouse that's downtown? Because I know you're going to go with it and go, Bing, Bing, Bing, Bing.

Are there attractive women at the Kid Rock Steakhouse? Or is there like a sprinkler there that can get mildly wet? Yeah, someone's giving mildly wet. That's what it is. Yeah, I'm going to send you. You guys, you're the ones with the vaginas. You don't get mildly wet or like you're sitting, you know what I mean? You're at the beach and you get out.

And it's like drying off, but it's still moist. And you don't get slightly fucking around. I think that's where I get rashes. Like that makes me want like a baby powder. You're supposed to not sit in a wet bathing suit for a long time. Or just sloping on dishes. My hands are all wet. and I'm just like, wow, wetness is fun.

Wetness reminds me of things. Wetness is fun. I made a judgmental face that you just now, which I shouldn't have, and I take it back. Yeah, you're shaming me right now. Your wetness, arousal shaming me right now? I made a really judgmental face, and I wish I had. Yeah.

I get it. Okay, the moment I said I was in dealers with a bit, all of a sudden, everything that comes out of my mouth is a source of crude shame. It's the cross-eye bear in this country as a white man, Molly. Oh, that's what. Picture you standing with palm olive on your hands like, yeah, this is fun.

This is wet. You know what this reminds me of? Boy yo-yo-yoing. It's not even full-on though. It's like a haffy that I could then take to fruition. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Or remove myself from it.

So then you wash the dishes and then you fuck your wife? Actually, that makes you the best husband of all the time. Yeah, actually. I think that if... I'm also admitting that I regular do the dishes, which is 100% true.

And if you enjoy, dishes is my least favorite chore. And so if it did turn me on. More than cleaning the bathroom? Cleaning the bathroom. I mean, I hate cleaning the tub. I clean, I feel like I have to clean the bathroom, you know, once a week, ideally,

less you can get away with it. Dishes you got to do every day. Yeah. You know what? Dishes is like my post run or first thing in the morning zone out activity that I can like feel like I accomplish something without actually putting my brain to anything. Yeah.

That's what I like about doing the dishes, and the wetness and how aroused it gets me. Also, I get really horny. Weirdly, what I... Hey, another request for page seven... This is going to be great for page seven Facebook page. What weird thing gets you oddly aroused? Sure.

Household chore. What weird household chore? Specialify it to household. Or, like, daily activity or weekly activity do you do, and it just reminds you that sex is possible in the world? Ooh, all right. Yeah, let's... I think that's good to open...

We should round it. about back on this next week. Because technically this is the end of our episode. Although technically in Tennessee you would also be thrown out of most bars because bar owners can't let patrons make loud and unusual noises, which I think is

all of the things that you do Holden. Yes, you can't make noises like you can't make noises like Kallabai Khamen That's when you know Holden's really drunk. Stay out of Tennessee. You know,

You got to, at least if you're doing dishes, you're probably in private, not in public. But, chibli, chibli, chipple, chippoo-p-d-p-d-pill-b. Get him out of the bar. I'll leave when I want to leave. I will say, we're not going to be kicking Holden McNeely off of page seven anytime soon. Uh-oh. Hey. I want to say, officially, Holden, welcome to page seven.

Holden is now taking over for Marcus's position on page 7. I think you all have noticed that we've been kind of interchanging, especially his last podcast, is working on a million things. And now we officially can say that Holden is a part of us, part of us. He's a part of us. Thank you. I hope I don't ruin the show for your fans that like Marcus. And that I promise I won't talk about Taylor Swift too much.

And I'll bring the fun and I'll bring the noise. and I'll bring to funk. Remember that musical Bring in the noise, bringing in to funk? By the way, I just remembered that the other day.

I was like, weird. What happened to that thing? Anyways, well, you're in the right place, pulled it, because that's just the type of stuff we like to talk about here on page seven. Thank you so much.

It was an absolute honor and a privilege to join the team, and I'm looking forward to the quarterly reports, and I really do like our trajectory and do think we're going to see some serious numbers in the future. Whoa. Whoa.

Very serious. I'm bringing in some schematics and some charts next week, which we will fully describe for our listeners in the podcast about our four-year plan for the next gubernatorial race. Yeah, we're going to release all of our many PowerPoint presentations that obviously we have every single week to discuss. And I'm looking forward to that. I'm also looking forward to doing our first LPN live show.

Yeah, that's going to be a wild, wild ride man. I'm so excited. We're just starting to talk about what we're even going to do. It's pretty amazing. It's going to be so much fun. Wizard and the Bruiser, page 7,

live on stage at the Bell House, which is like maybe my favorite venue in all of New York to do a show. Yeah, it's the best venue for sure. I'm so excited. We got this fucking venue. But we got a lot of tickets to sell. So if you are interested in coming,

please go ahead and get online. I'm sure there'll be a, what a link in the bio or something? Yeah, and yeah, there'll be a link, there will be a link underneath the show today as well as all the shows up until June 9th. It'll be June 9th. It is a Sunday.

Tickets are 25 bucks, and it's going to be Wizard of the Peruser and page 7 coming together. It's going to be, I don't know what it's going to be, but I know it's going to be a lot of fun, and I know it's not just going to be us sitting in front of microphones on a stage. That is a guarantee. We are building a show. We have already started the process of working on it.

So just know, yeah, it's not just going to be your, your standard, like, podcast live show where we just kind of, like, loose, easy, breezy. Like, we're going to, it's going to be a production. And we hope you guys will come out. I'm so excited to merge these two things. I'm so excited to just, like, see how the page 7 crowd reacts to what was in the bruiser stuff and how was the bruiser crowd reacts to page.

I just, I'm so giddy about this fucking show. Yeah, it's going to be, it's going to be amazing. I am so stoked. Also, the link to the tickets is also in my Instagram bio. that is at Jack That Worm on Instagram. My name is Jackie Zabrowski, and I want to say that I love you guys very much and I'm very excited to start working with

and continue to work with Holden McNeely. I love you too. Thank you so much. And thank you so much. Molly, are you excited to? How pregnant are you? I feel like we should start asking you that every week. How pregnant is she?

I'm 23 weeks pregnant, and I am so excited to be working with Holden every week in the studio. And I even am excited despite the fact that we were in a huge fight all day. I, at various points in the past hour, have truly hated Molly. And I have also, what is, call her what of my closest friends. That's how amazing of a roller coaster emotionally this has been. Beyonce fans are too mean, but that's completely fine.

That's not your fault, Molly. That is a beehive you can kick on your own. That's what it is. It's kicking a beehive. It is, literally. It really is. Well, no, I guess not literally, figuratively. Love you guys so much.

Thank you for joining us this week. And we will talk to you next week. Bye. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors, you can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.