Page 7 - Episode 309: Tingles & Shivies

Episode Date: June 27, 2019

Jackie, Molly and Holden gab about the Lion King reboot, Judge Judy's new haircut and "Euphoria" Get $75 off a new sofa—and free one-week shipping—by visiting http://burrow.com/PAGE7. Sponsored link: http://www.simplehealth.com/page7 and use promo code: page7. Right now, Amour Vert is offering podcast listeners 15% off your first order when you go to http://shopgreenlove.com/PAGE7 Quip starts at just $25 and if you go to http://getquip.com/page7 right now, you can get your first refill pack for FREE Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Ooh, I love this part. So many things to tell her, but how to make her see. The truth about my past. Impossible. She'd turn away from me. He's holding back. He's hiding. But what I can't decide.

Why won't he be the king? I know he is. The king. I sing this to Jeff every night. I love, love, love, love. Love, love that song. And y'all know that I'm a huckoon. a fuck it girl, but I was just warned against singing it before I started singing,

Can You Feel a Love Tonight? Welcome to page seven. My name is Jackie Zabrowski. My name is Molly Neffel, and I did say to Jackie in a kind of menacing tone, don't sing Hakuna Matata. My name is Holder McNeely, and I just want to issue an apology. I confused Danny DeVito with Joe Pesci on last week's episode, and I haven't heard the end of it. I didn't know what you meant last week, but I just let you go with it because I was like,

I don't know. and I'm just going to keep going. I think it's the heat sickness because we have to turn the air conditioner off when we start this and I was just delirious last week. It was the most like sweaty, humid, crazy day. I was, I should have said something when you said, I think you brought up Raging Bull, right?

Yes, and you brought up Oscar nominated. I was like, I don't know what he's talking. Like maybe I'm wrong. I mean, Davey. Yeah, what he said Oscar-dominated, I was like, I missed that. I mean, he should have been. He should be for sure.

He should be an Oscar-nominated actor. When he said, Raging Bowl, I was like, I certainly did not know that either. Like, I guess he played the ref at one point or something in the rain. I thought I was like, I must be wrong. Holden and Jackie definitely know more about movies than me. I think at that point in the conversation, I was trying to think of a segue because of segueing from conversation to topic. Marcus knows exactly how to do that.

I'm still learning on how to segue from topic to topic. And so I was thinking about that and wasn't really paying attention. And so all of us are sorry. they're two very, very different people. I mean, they're both phenomenal actors. They really are. They have done great work. I don't know if they're exactly comparable

the way that, like, I would put, like, Joe Pesci and who in the same category. I mean, they're both Italian. But I think that's what you're leaning heavily on. Yes, and maybe to a fault. I think that you're leaning heavily on that. And maybe to a fault. And similar height.

I'm going to throw it out there as well. Their bodies of work, I think, are not as comparable as perhaps Joe Pesci and. and a number of other actors. I may have called, referred to Jackie as Jackie DeVito a couple of times. Oh my God, please.

Will he marry me? Will he be with me? I want, I would love to be the wife of Danny DeVito. But is that even close to his egregious is hating a beloved

Disney song, such as Hakuna Matta. I almost said Hakuna Mucket. Yeah, I'm so, I'm so used to saying Hakuna Mofucket and I can't wait to get the, I'm scared of getting the tattoo.

Have I told you guys I want to get the Hakuna Mofucket tattoo? And I'm scared because I feel like my mom, even though I am 32 years old, I am scared that my mother will flip out if I have a curse word on me. You have a curse on your body. Where would you put it?

Actually, I should rephrase that. What breast are you going to put them? No, I'm going to put it on my thigh. I think I'm going to put it on my upper thigh. So we'll see if I'm in a bathing suit. So could you hide it? Would you ever consider just not telling your mom? But the problem is that we live in Florida,

so she's definitely going to see me in a bathing suit. You could just do like I do and just wear board shorts all the time and never let people see your legs. I come out and board shorts while I was like, what's got? Don't worry about it, Mom. Don't look at me, Mom! Yeah, Molly dresses like a kid who used to beat me up in the school yard, I think. Yeah, I do. I like, I just went, I came from Target.

I went Ham at Target because I'm about to go travel for a little bit and get to be able to swim. And I got, I like to dress like a jock from the mid-90s. Like I got like a bunch of muscle tanks. You dress so cool. Well, I can't pull it off. That's the thing. Like, I can't do board jerks. I wish I could.

Also, I have a very long torso than my ass crack. You guys know about my ass crack. It just comes out. I love that your ass crack plagues you. Every time we talk about a potential fashion for you, they're like, I can't because of my ass crack. That's why I wear only dresses and skirts now,

because I know that my ass crack will come out. You can just hike your pants up a little bit. Yeah, that is a Zabrowski curse, though. I don't know how high your ass crack is, I feel like Henry's goes up to like just under his neck. I don't. I shouldn't, I should, I walk back, I shouldn't have ass crack. I shouldn't have explained your own ass crack to you.

I appreciate you though. I, you know, I'm Nobutsky. Jackie Nobatsky is what they call me on the streets. I just want to clarify that I'm, I think I'm wrong for hating Akuna Matata. I don't think I'm right, but I like. It's just too joyous. It's just too pleasant. Is that what the problem is?

As I have just closed on the show before, I was a bit of a hater when I was a child. Yes. And when I was, fourth grade, I believe was when Lion King came out. Lion King came out. And that was like peak hater for me.

I was just like very angry at my peers. And I had no friends and no social, like ability to socialize. Right. And Lion King was just like very popular and beloved. And I dealt with it by being like a little goth, like bitter. Like I was like, This is so mainstream.

And Akuna Matata is the ultimate pure expression of Joy and Love in that musical, right? I experienced it as like too, I don't know, hokey. I mean, but it's fucking Nathan Lane. What's wrong with me? Like, I like, there is no reason to hate that song. But I understand, though, because you know how I feel about farts. And there is that fart breakdown in the middle of it.

You mean farts like these? I don't. I don't appreciate this. This is, I'm being attacked. Yeah, there are a lot of fart jokes. I felt like it was talking down to me as the very sophisticated nine and a half year old that I was. And I wasn't sophisticated. I was just angry.

I'm glad to put the half on there too, you know. I'm nine and seven months. Thank you very much. I was like lonely and alienated. And for some reason I had this year specifically, I like took it out on popular. I was like, yeah, the original, like, Daria. Like, you know, anything that's popular must suck.

I mean, I hear you a couple years late. Fourth grade's early to start on it. Yes, yes. That's what makes you very different, I think. It was rough. And it didn't, thank God I was able to kind of, you know, not stay depressed for as long as, for that long. And I got out of it. And, of course, now I love popular things.

And now plenty of adults assume that if it's popular, it must suck. I was just doing it before it was cool. Yeah, like TikTok. I understand. TikTok's great. Everyone's like. TikTok. But Molly, I think that's why we understand each other

on a cellular level, because we both were shitheads way too young to be shit-hitted. Yeah. You know, like, there was no need to be a shithead that young. But people don't think that young children are capable of negative emotions, and people are always like, oh, kids, what do you have to complain about? I wish I was a kid who didn't have a job.

And I feel like it's very important to remember that kids can feel like very complex emotions, including like anger and sadness and depression and cheerliness. Maybe it's because we have a job. Maybe it's because we had no freedom. Yeah, no control over your life. No control over anything. Go to bed when they

say wake, yeah, absolutely. Oh, completely disgruntled about that. Yeah, what they tell you, you can't, when you're a kid, you can't decide when you go to the bathroom, you can't decide when you drink water, it's wild and people always like, kids got it so easy. I'm like, do, would you really want to be in a building for like nine hours a day with no control over when you use the bathroom?

Like, kids have it rough. And, you know, they can, they're not all full of joy about it. That's why I think I'm digging Euphoria so much, which I don't know if you guys have started watching Euphoria yet. Tell me about it, I love Zendaya so much, and I love all the previous for you, Oh, my God, she's so good in it. And as someone that was a truly struggling with my mental illness

and had a lot of addiction issues way too young, this show is doing a very good job. Of course, they're putting their sexy spin on it because it's HBO, and that's just unfortunately how it goes. But it is coming from a perspective. that really is capturing how you feel when you think that it's the only option. And I think that it's like, well, if I don't want my brain, it's like, my brain is bad when I'm not doing this shit.

So why don't I just keep doing this shit? And so it starts off with Zendaya getting out of rehab. And then she's like, yeah, why would I stay clean? That's ridiculous. What age group is this? Is this high school kids? They're juniors in high school. Junior's in high school.

Cool. And it is just really, again, you know, of course, they're upping the sex. parts of it, but I was having that much sex and doing that many drugs and, and, and that truly self-destructive. And I think that it's good to give that kind of power to people that are so young when they are going through that. Those things do happen. And yeah, it's not as like, you know, sexy as, as the show is, is portraying, but it is just

as scary. And I knew a lot of those people. Yeah. It would be kind of cool to see. I feel like, even though, oh, so gross. but the movie kids kind of did a good job of showing like gross, awkward, that age sex. They always want to make it all splashy. It's almost, I would almost rather it be like just as awkward and shitty as it was back then.

I wouldn't know though because I didn't have sex while I was in college. I would have no idea. But from the previews that I've seen, because it's Zendaya, it's like, it looks pretty, the sexy stuff looks pretty like awesome. Like it doesn't look particularly. Maybe I'm wrong and there's just like horrible, awkward kissing with Zendaya, which is just like kind of hard to imagine. There's a lot of things that like,

I think that it also, in the first episode, especially, showing that the, you know, when your reputation precedes you when it comes to sexuality and the things that you would put up with and the things that you would do just because you're like, well, everyone's saying it,

so I guess I'll just be that. And that it is something that is, and it doesn't truly focus on the social media aspect, but it does include it in a way that it is a, it's in the back and in the forefront of every single teen's mind of like, what am I, what are they going to say about me after this? I need to do these things so that I can be like this on social media

and like all those guys, I just, I don't know, I watch it and I just have so many feelings and I'm watching it by myself. So I just needed to say it and thank you guys for listening. It totally reminds me of everybody was saying that Holden is a total sexless loser. And so I was like, you know what? I'll just be that. I'll just fail in every attempt to try to have any human contact with another person. Well, you did a really good job with it.

Yeah, I made it to 19 before a woman even asked to look at my penis. So, I mean, that's a big accomplishment. And now you're having the last laugh. Now I'm having the last laugh. I am married to a woman who is definitely having sex with me. The world, I've made it. And she's beautiful and she's amazing And I don't know how you got her

But I was doing a lot of drugs I mean not like really intense stuff But it was definitely I mean The the game Starting sophomore year Definitely junior and senior year Every weekend It's like get a pack of cigarettes

Get beer Get weed and then like Maybe someone has some pills or something And that was the objective right Every I think almost every weekend was like Let's just like we're playing in a band that's kind of what we're going to do in the background of like just trying to get as shitty as possible. So I do remember that.

And all like two of my friend group is now in recovery because they had like major social issues and stuff that know that we didn't address because we were all these like outcast broken toy weirdo people. You know what I mean? And it all came to like later in life or whatever. Most people I didn't do anything until college, but most people I know started drinking and doing drugs when they were like either 13 or 14. And I feel like when you're an adult and you think about that, you're like, and also when you're adult and you see a current 13-year-old, you're like,

you are so young. Yes. Oh, yeah. I think my lucky stars that my niece is a nerd. And like in a good way, in a great way. Yeah. Yeah, because it would be terrifying, right? I am like, that is a big fright for me

the potential of having children is navigating those waters. Yeah, definitely. For sure. Thank God for Uber though. At least we have Uber now. Yeah. And living in New York City at least, you know, you don't kids aren't driving cars,

which is a jillion time safer than what we were doing. We were sober and fucking risking our lives all the damn time just making, just with our dumb, sober brains driving around like idiots. Okay, so we, all right, this is one shenanigan we used to do that I still cannot believe we used to do. I've talked about this before at other stuff, but we used to drive around, my buddy had a sunroof, we'd go and get just, cartons of eggs, and we would fucking drive around and somebody who would poke out of the sunroof

and try to hit a car going in the opposite direction's dashboard or windshield with fucking an egg. And then that would usually cause one of those cars to make a U-turn and go on a height-speed chase with us through neighborhoods risking our lives. I look back and I'm like, what about that was fun? Wait, oh, can I talk about the game that we used to play? Which I'm about to, I hope I'm not blowing it up, and it's like my hometown secret. but I don't think that people should be playing it anymore,

so I'll talk about it. And maybe this is the thing that people play everywhere. We called it Cannonball Run. Tell me maybe this is like a totally universal thing, but it was called Cannibal Run. And this was like only, this is a game that obviously preceded smartphones. You would look up four addresses or five

or however many you wanted to from the phone book. Town also has to be a certain kind of moderate to small size for this to work. But look up the four addresses, and then everybody writes down the addresses. You get sidewalk truck. And then you start the clock and whoever makes it to all four houses and puts an X on the driveway first wins. And sounds actually a very sweet game. But that forces you to try.

We would just drive like idiot. Like maybe. Okay. Gotcha. And like having kids jump out the moving car to put the, you know, like we're totally sober. And so yeah, we were like, we're so wholesome. Like what could go wrong?

We're just to have undeveloped brains driving cars. cars everywhere. The most wholesome kids were the ones doing the most like toilet papering and agging and stuff. Oh yeah, car chock. Yeah, because we didn't do any of that stuff. Meanwhile, I'm getting shlammered

and just like snorting everything that is any kind of powder. But that's because I was just so out of my brains and I was just like, look you fucking idiots. Man, they're like hitting like, you know, mailboxes. With all their baseball bats. And like just thinking, I was so above it.

Because the nerd kids One of my friends nearly killed themselves with a potato gun. Like they're like doing all, you know, and it's, but this is also like, when I moved, you know, from where I grew up to New York, people would be like, well, I've heard that New York is dangerous. And I'm like, well, definitely the shit we do out here is dangerous. And so I don't know whether New York is dangerous or not, but like, you know, teenagers driving around in wide open roads, I cannot think of anything I'd want my own child to do less. And I know it's totally normal. I would take, I would take walking through a shady part of New York. over dealing with like a group of high school kids in a small town any day.

Driving cars. Driving cars. I'd be like ride your bike. Ganging up at the movie theater on you, something like that. Like it is way hairier. I am way more frightened just in general of any just small group of high school kids on the street than I ever anything else in the city. I am scared of all teenagers. Yes.

All the singles are scared of teenagers. Because they don't know. They're capable of it. They haven't learned any lessons. They're capable of doing anything. Like, I could be the person they decide to, like, learn a big lesson on that day. But in New York, people are a lot of times scared of teenagers, and there's a lot that goes into that. But there's also part of it is that teenagers are, like, cool and funny and have really good senses of humor.

I think they're better here, though, too, than in a small town. Perhaps. Because there's more to do. Yeah. Yeah. But they have great senses. They're good at roasting people. And in New York, what people are most afraid of is that a teenager are going to make fun.

one of them on the subway. I make fun of their sneakers or something. And that's what adults are most afraid of it. It hurts my feelings. I feel like they know exactly how to get into my core. Yes, because as we remember when we were teenagers. Don't attack my anxiety. I was like, call me fat.

I can handle being called fat. But when you just like start talking about like, I bet you're not good enough in life. You ever think about your career choices? I'm like, yes. All the time. Or it's like, or they'll just do like, no adult ever does the thing where they like,

say what you say back to them just over and oh you say back say back to you that and it's so effective it is so it makes me so mad it makes me crazy just to think of it it it makes my blood boil and they'll just not stop there's nothing you can do about it other than not talk which is like the last thing you want to do right or just like grab them and you know and then you're uh hurting I will say though the teenagers though and and maybe it's just I'm also older and maybe it's different than I think, but like rich kids in a, in a fucking small town, like way, like the kids here just seem like they have a way more of an understanding of actual reality. They, they pass all different types of people on the street. They've, they've seen homelessness firsthand.

They hear other languages every day. Oh, yeah. And also they're moving around independently, starting from 12, 13. Whereas in a suburb, this is so a parent of a teenager in New York told me this. He was like, It's awesome having a kid in New York because you can let your 11, 12, 13, 14 year old have some independence, walk to their friends' house, take the train, whatever, in a way that kids growing up where they drive cars don't have. And so you just get that angsty time from 12 to 16 where you need independence, but you can't drive a car. And so what do you do? That's when you, like, in my case, like, go to the mall and walk around. Yes.

And go to, like, one place. And then very quickly, I turn to new, how can I fuck some shit up? Yeah. How can I fuck up some of these. day or piece of property or whatever it is. And you know who's not thinking about these things? Very, yes. Scamp the Tramp!

That's... I know who that is to say. I have a lot of things to say about Scamp the Tramp because Scamp the Tramp just won the world's ugliest dog competition, and I am upset that the ugliest dog competition still exists. I'm upset about it. It's not fair.

Scamp is very, very cute, and his little tongue comes out of the side of his mouth. And yes, his hair is so matted that it dreads. And there's nothing they can do about it, okay? And yes, his parents saved him an hour before he was murdered at a shelter. But Scamp the Tramp is adorable. I feel like ambivalent about some of these animals with their, like, funny faces. Because a lot, like, grumpy cat was just, like, had, like, a chronic disability, you know? And I worry about some of these.

Interesting. Animals that were making fun of them in a way that we shouldn't. Yeah. And I know that technically this is them being celebrated, but I just, I don't, why do we have to call it the world's ugliest dog? Why can't we call it the world's most unique dog? Yeah. Or how about the dog that's turning heads? Or the world's dumbest looking dog.

No. No. I'm sorry. I did. Scamp is not dumb-looking, and I'm upset because apparently Scamp lost last year to Zha. Ja Ja, the bulldog. And Zsaja, all of his teeth had fallen out. And so the tongue comes out of the side of his mouth.

And that's not Jaja's fault. No, that's not Jaja's fault. I don't think that's very nice. I do think that Scamp is so cute. And maybe that's just because I am in full-on Auntie mode right now. Because as you guys know, last podcast is traveling for these traveling in Australia. So I am with my baby niece Wendy. and Wendy who's just the cutest

and I see sometimes that people say that she's ugly And she says that Who would say it? People say it. I said it once. I used to say it. I understand. But she also has the most adorable soul

on a creature I've ever met in my entire life. Oh, absolutely. And she is pure happiness. And I am getting a little bit. Wendy's, by the way, Wendy's Stella. You know, Wendy is a beautiful dog. Wendy's just like a Jim Hinson, like dark crystal. She's like a Muppet.

Yeah. Muppet. Yeah, but specifically a dark crystal, not that. Right, specifically dark crystal. So is Scamp, honestly. And so is Scamp. Scamp's giving me windy vibes a little bit. And do you know what Scamp does for a living?

A mailman. Scamp works. Please answer. Scamp works as an elderly home as a therapy dog. Okay? So you know what? I bet scamp is out there. Working harder than a lot of people are out there working.

And he brings smiles to people. And he's not the ugliest dog. I'm giving myself a round of a place. I feel like at least dogs can appreciate like a dog competition because they like to be around to their dogs and like they can get what people are praising them. And I used to really worry about cat competitions until I saw, of course, the Ulala documentary. And those cats seem fine. But I really was worried about them because it doesn't seem like something any cat would enjoy. But I guess not all cats are quite as deeply antisocial as, you know, the vast majority of cats.

Yeah, I mean, my one great thing that consoles me in the evening about cat owners, too, though, is that those cats will eat your face off the moment that you die. I mean, so well, the dogs, though. No, they wouldn't. I guess if you smell like them, yeah, I guess it's true, they probably would eat you. Yeah, they probably wouldn't. But that cat will bite your, will take your nose and not enough fun. Also, though, Holden, if I was going to die of starvation, I'd also eat you. Yeah, that's, I don't really care if my cats eat me, A.

B, I'm not convinced that they would because I trust them fully. Why don't we do an experiment? Pretend to be dead. Pretend to be, maybe we'll put you in a medically induced coma. I mean, they sleep next to me all the time. Yeah, yeah. Maybe after the baby's born, can we talk after the baby's born?

Yeah. That would be great. After the baby's born, we'll put you into a medically induced coma and leave you in the floor in your living room, all right. Gideon will have to just kind of work around it sort of situation. They definitely wouldn't eat me if Gideon was around because they would just be bothering him for food.

Oh, true, I guess that's true. Well, he'll act like he's so depressed over your passing that he's unable to get to the kitchen to get food. He's going to have to take three weeks off of work. You're going to have your parents take the baby. And I think that it'll be, I think this will work out. But me? What do you do when you need a bigger couch?

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But I don't care if anybody eats. You guys can eat me when I die for all I care. Sure, yeah. I'm like an organ donor and stuff too. Yeah. Like I don't, whatever. I understand that it's important to some people, but I don't have a particular stake in what happens to my flesh after I die

other than that it goes to good use. And so if that means a nice meal for my cats and you, You too, then that's fine. Jackie, I would eat Molly flesh. Would you have Molly flesh with me? Of course. She's produced life. I feel like your flesh is the best of all three of our flesh.

How are we cooking Molly up, though? What are we doing here? A lot of more moves in there. Be careful. Yeah, I mean, yeah, I'd want to be, like, I would want to be respectful of your choice as a vegetarian, though. So I feel like a kebab. Or maybe a kebab is not vegetarian at all. A vegetable-based dish.

No, we would do. We'll do one of the Luke Perry bags and we'll bury her in one of the bags that she turns into mushrooms. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. That's a great idea. And then, but they have to be

the tripping kind of mushroom. Molly mushrooms. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That would be intense. Yeah, that sounds great. I'm on trip on Molly, and I'll be like, we're not that kind of fucking Molly.

Like, Molly. The place I was just like, get on the ground with your hands to air. I'm just eating my friend. I'm just eating my friend. my friend. People just threw up, cops just throwing up around this molly bag we dug up. No, can you imagine that trip would go on, especially so you eat the magic mushrooms and

you know you're eating your friend? If you've eaten Luke Perry, for example. Yeah, that would be pretty fun. What kind of trip do you go on having just eaten a Luke Perry? One where you pretend like you're back in high school, but you're too old for it. Yeah. Definitely like, like you, it has to be a 902.1-0 based trip. Yeah, right?

Well, yeah. And you're the sexy one, too. That's got to be the weird. it is. Going back to high school and being the hunk would be the fucking weirdest thrill slash nightmare, I could possibly think. It's too much pressure. I don't want to be the hunk.

Yeah, the hunk's a lot of pressure. You have to be all quiet and like, but like really, you know, confident at the same time. Is that what being a hunk is? I think so. It's like, what's his name from Claire Dane's, my so-called life, that guy. Ooh, Jordan Catalano. Yeah. Well, that's a good question. One of our good slumber party rhetorical questions is what, if

you could, like, have a day in the life as a fictional TV character in high school. Ooh. Or even longer, like, a month in the life, maybe. Like, you know, to relive high school as a fictional character. Oh, I think that I'd have to be Stacy Dash and Clueless. That's a good one. Right? I feel like I...

Yeah, that's a really good one. I feel like I'm similar to that, in a sense. I would be Ferris Bueller. Yeah, that would be fun. 100% how cool with that. You're not only the popular guy, but you're also the rebel. You get to, like, be all of it at once.

Yeah. What would you pick, Molly? I mean, I just feel out of loyalty and habit. I just have to say. Daria? Zach Morris. Zach Morris. I thought I've been Daria.

Yeah, you were Daria. You were Daria, yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel like Zach Morris because, uh, just because that was like my, my, from the time I was seven or whatever, that was like what high school was to me. Like, and I identified with Zach Morris, and I wanted to be like him, and I wanted everybody to know me,

and be, like, excited to see me. Yeah, if I was a lady high schooler, a girl, I guess I would say. I would be Tiffany Ambertheson, and what's, what's, what's, uh, Kelly Capow? I'd be Kelly Capowl. It'd be so cool for a day to just be the popular girl,

you know what I mean? Like, that would be so much fun. See, I just really want to sleep with Murray. You know what I mean? Like, that's where I just really want to have that. I want to have amazing outfits. Like I want all of it. She had more fun than Alicia Silverstone's character, I think.

Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Totally. You just got it all locked down. She's having a great fucking time. And also, controversial opinion. I think I liked her outfits more than I like Shares' outfits. Interesting.

Well, then with my homies. Well, no, that is tie. He would, I was way more of a tie than I was. Yeah, I feel like you were more of a tie. I was a pre-make-over tie. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, with the plans and everything. and wishing 90s fashion would come back

and now that it has, I'm like doing, you know, now I'm really living my 90s lifestyle. Speaking of 90s, though, I'm sorry to do my own segue, but. I like it. The reason that we sang, can you feel the love tonight? Oh, yeah. Is because there's a new Lion King preview.

Yeah, dude. So the thing is, is that, my personal opinion is that I am angry that they are redoing it. However, if you watch, the teaser trailer of Donald Glover and Beyonce's singing, can you feel the love tonight?

I got tingles and I got shivis and I was so mad because I was sitting next to Gottad and he's on the computer and I was listening to it in my headphones I just ripped my headphones off and I was like, God damn it now I gotta see this goddamn movie. Yeah, I saw it and I was like

ah fuck and then I thought there's a place in Brooklyn that does like baby time like where you can bring crying babies to movies in the afternoon and. Oh nice. I've always been a proponent of that sort of thing. Yeah, and I think most daytime movies of kids' movies are like that, you know? I think if you go to like...

Ooh, have you seen Toy Story 4 yet? No. Okay, sorry. I'm sorry, continue. But I think if I went to Toy Story 4 at 1 o'clock with a baby, nobody would be like, what are you doing here? Right, right. But maybe so, I'm not sure.

But this is like specifically for, like, parents who are home with babies and need to get out of the house. And it's like, and they show good family movies. And I was thinking it would be fun to go to that. Between that, and I think that there really definitely should be, I think that there should be a whole flight service for people with children. I was just about to say this. Yes.

I was just about to say that, Jackie, discount flights for people with children. Or if you're like some kind of broke, like single dude, you could be like, oh, fuck it. You know what? I've just enough for the baby flight, so I'm going to take it. You know what I mean? But it's like a discount flight with the knowledge that it will be full of people with babies. That's a smart idea.

It's not prohibited. Like you don't have to have a baby. But it's billed as the baby flight. You know it's the baby flight. Just like you don't have to have a baby to go to, I think you do have to have a child to get it a chucky cheese. But like to go to. No, no, you can get in there.

Yeah, maybe not. Oh, yeah, you can get in there. Well, that's a creepy thing to say. I'm trying to think. I have a friend who is. Again, it's a fun place. You can get in there. I have a friend who, yeah, my buddy who,

one of my friends who was actually in recovery image before, he got kicked out of a chucky cheese on. So you can definitely... But he, you know, he was able to be there without a child up until he became so belligerently drunk that for whatever reason they had to kick him now. That's interesting. But like, what's a better example?

The only ones I can think of restaurants that haven't existed since my childhood unless the ground round still exists. But like, what I went to say is that there are restaurants that you can go to and you know there will be screaming kids everywhere. Yeah. And you can go if you're not a family with young children, but then you can't be mad that there's...

There's a crying baby next to you. Of course. This is a great idea for an airplane because people are always like, shut that baby up. I mean, I will say you can't fucking be mad. No. Regardless. No, that baffles me. Yeah.

It's insane because so we're on a flight. We're on the flight back from New York back to L.A. And the, I'm going to say, two-year-old that was in front of us screamed the entire time. And you're watching, honestly, really what it is more than anything is that I could feel the upset of the parents. That's the thing. upset me more than anything was the anxiety that I felt that I was like, I wish I could help you stop the kid. It's not the kid screaming.

It's upsetting me is that they were doing everything to get the toddler to stop screaming. And the baby just wouldn't. In general, what I learned when having a newborn who spent a month crying every single minute she was awake, that no one wants that baby to stop crying more than the parents do. And no one has considered whether the baby is hungry, more often than the parents have. The amount of times I was out with my baby and people would be like,

is she hungry? Is she hungry? Yeah, think I haven't done it before. And I just wanted to, oh, feeding the baby. That's what we forgot to do today. Have you considered unconditional love? Maybe you're just being sort of

never ask a parent if they have considered if the baby is hungry. Just don't because they have thought about it. And nobody wants the baby to stop crying in public more than the parent. And so, right, but people get mad and they're like, see a baby on a flight and they're like, oh, fuck.

And it's like, do you just not want people, you want families to not be able to go anywhere? Like, fuck off. The only place I don't, I really hate it is if, where I'm at a fucking horror movie and it's 10 p.m. And you bring your fucking baby. That's when I get mad. I'm like, not only are the images on the screen, I'm sure having some deep psychological effect on this child. What do you mean? And Henry and I are fine.

We watched things. There was no censorship in our house. But you guys are doing well, so maybe I'm wrong. Yeah, right? Maybe this, you know, speaking of anxiety, let's talk about Judge Judy's change and haircut. Okay. I'll be honest.

I had to look at those pictures. I had to look until I saw a side view to even really notice a difference. She still just has like an old lady. The poof. Pooh. And then from the side, you're like, oh, there's a ponytail. I literally looked and I was like, I must have the wrong article, you know, because I was like, she's the same. Judge Judy got a lot of shit for changing her haircut after 40 years of it being the same.

Leave the woman alone. I don't think she should be given the right to change her hair. She has no freedom. That shouldn't change. I turn it on TV. I see. I want to see. I want to see that hair sprayed poof on top of that beautiful.

woman's head. And if it changes, man, oh man, well, I bring down my door hammer so hard, the Yellowstone, the volcano, the volcanoes are gonna go. What?

I'm drinking a lemonade orita. This is the problem. Oh, that reminds me. I took a selfie in front of a wall of or Rita's target because I was so jealous of them. Oh, no. And it's summer and you can't have a Rita.

Can't have no Rita. Wait, just wait, hold. Once I have this baby and I'm postpartum, I'm going to be coming to the studio with just a sack full of Rita's. Sack of Rita's, I'll fucking have some Rita with you. I'll slam a damn Rita. I don't care that it'll be fall by that point.

We'll have a pumpkin Rita or something. This will be hot in this stupid-ass studio. Yeah, we'll be. But also, Jinks, you better to stop. You can't talk for the rest of the episode. All right, okay, fine. All right, Jackie. Fine. I said your name.

Give this same three times. Jackie, Jackie. People have different jinx rules. Yeah, what are these jinx rules? Double jinks, no jinks. It canceled itself out. No! I was just going to say she hadn't changed her hair in 40 years. Is that for real? The reason why she changed her hair is that like her hair is just thinning and she wanted to give it a bit of a break because she's been on the air for so long and her hair has been done. So her hair is just becoming nothing because it has so much product in it.

And the perm that she has on it. So now she's using clip in ponytails. Ah. I was wondering. I was about to say it looks exactly like her normal hair with just a ponytail clip on. It's a clipping. It's a clip in. She loves it.

Good for her. I take back my snarkiness before. No, because she's like, I want to be able to have a cup of coffee in the morning. I want to sit. I want to read the newspaper. So now she's like, she's like, I get to walk my. dog in the morning, which she got so excited about. And how sweet is that?

How long was she working our hair every morning? She's got to sit in hair and makeup every day. Yeah, brutal, man. Man, I would just shave my head. Yeah, I was about to say, shave the head, do it. You mean like Britney Spears, which is why Britney Spears did it. And no one called her crazy at all during that time. But, you know, I guess I would be more, I might actually shave my head before having

this child because it's, I had, since my first one came so un-eastern. unexpectedly. I was like overdue for a haircut by the time she came and I was in the hospital still and I was like, I'm never going to get a haircut for the rest of my life. And I just was like, oh, this is what am I? Oh, no. And it's just so hard to maintain anything about your life in the first few months after having a baby that I was like, I think I might just shave my fucking head. But my friend shaved her head and she looked awesome and it wasn't, it was like a Shane O'Connor look. Aren't she a little worried though? I feel like I'm always worried that you shaved the head and you're like, oh, I didn't know it was all over the place up there in terms of like, Bad head, you mean? Yeah, yeah, like you're going to do it and be like, oh, it's all dented up up there. Oh, God. I already shave, like, pretty high up on the side. True.

So unless all my dents are just on top. Just one Mohawk. You never know, though, until you do it. I might have one big dent. But I don't have any, like, scars or anything. Like, my brother, when he was a kid, was, like, got, like, a massive head injury, like, every two years. And so if he shaved his head,

because his head would just be a total roadmap. But I don't have any, I don't think I have any, I don't think I have any scars. And I don't think I got dense, but I've never really felt too hard up there. My problem is my head's just too small. I had such short hair for such a long time, and I know how small my head is,

especially in comparison to my chubby body. So if it was all gone, good Lord. I'd look like a, I'd look like a, like I guess that's the opposite of a penis head. Like a baseball bat penis, you know what I mean? Can you wear little children's hats? Oh, yeah. I can wear any kids.

I love that, though, because the kids' hats are way more fun. I know. That's why I have all these sequin hats. Someone else I would love a sequin hat is Alice Cooper. Oops. Did you guys read this story? It's so cute. I think it's cute, but I guess apparently he went out and changed what he said a little bit.

So Alice Cooper came out. He's been married to his wife. He didn't come out. Alice Cooper has been married to his wife, Cheryl Goddard, who's a choreographer and a dancer for 43 years. But she's secretly gay. Yeah, I mean, I don't know what they do. I don't know what they do.

All I know is that they love each other very much, and I'm very proud of them because they've never, like, just stepped out on each other. They just have always had a very secure bond to the point that he came out and said that he had a death pact with his wife. And he said that if one of them will die, the ultimate. Other will essentially also died because he said they've always loved each other. The quote is, you would think people would want to get away from their wives, but she's my best friend. And there's no way of surviving without each other.

It's very sweet, but extremely Romeo and Juliet. Jackie, are you crying? I'm not crying. I'm not crying about it. I think it's adorable. He did use, do one of my pet peeves. I think I've talked about this before. He referred to her as his best friend, and I feel like, in my opinion, if your wife,

If it's your best friend, you don't have any friends. Okay, because there's a difference, okay? What are you trying to say? Who's your best friend? Who's my best friend? Okay, well, also I would say you get to a certain age where, like, best friends aren't really a thing. But maybe you're, maybe you're, maybe your brother, you know? Yeah, you guys are, like, all have, yeah, I think you have a lot of, you get to the point in when you're a lot of best friends.

I don't value, you know, my, there's a, in the group of friends that I consider really close, I don't, like, put them in a pecking order. I feel like it's a way for you to, like, put people in a pecking order when you're younger. but I will also say it's just like and it's more of a Facebook pet peeve, social media pet peeve when people are like. Like Myspace. It's back in the day of MySpace with your topy. First of all, when you go on a diatribe

about your significant other in general on social media makes me kind of nuts, right? Because, yeah, whatever. I love love. Okay? But especially because they always refer to them as their best friends and I'm just kind of like, but yeah, but that just means you don't have a friend. So I think I feel I think I feel what you're saying, and I think that what greats on me,

I feel like men tend to say that more than women do. Maybe women also call their male partners their best friends, but I think I associate it with like a man being very proud of himself, and there's something that's just a little, and there's a really annoying Zales commercial that's like, she's not just your lover. She's also your best friend. Oh, that's, see, that seems like they're pointing fingers.

Isn't she your best friend? You don't say she's your best friend? There's something about it that it's like, can you imagine a friend who's a girl? Yeah, yeah. You know, that's what my wife's actually my best friend. It seems like you want a high five for being best friends with a girl. She's so on my level, guys. She's actually also, like, truly my friend.

It feels like if a, you know, like, you know, like, you in the way that that. That's crazy. Yeah, that's so right on the money. If you're like a back, I think kids are much more equal about gender now. But back when I was a fifth grader, I feel like if a boy was like, oh, do you have a girl best friend? You'd be like, no.

Like, and that's what it reminds me of when a man is like... Oh, yeah. I would have grabbed a knife and just tried to cut my throat open. I would have been so mortified. I mean, honestly, even still in high school, I remember my best, like, all of my best friends were dudes.

And they're like, oh, you guys all having sex with each other? Yeah, me too, man. Whoa. I mean, yes, but... I had a ton of actually plutonic relationships as well. I mean, still do, obviously. I hate that shit. There's no, oh, man.

And then this is a whole other conversation, but what I was always told in high school, men, men only, there's no such thing as a boy and girl being actual friends because all men want to fuck you. Holden and I have never even hugged for longer than two seconds and we've known each other for 14 years. And in fact, it was Jackie who tried to fuck me.

Whoa! I was completely by what! I can't say that. I can't throw that out there. She was dad. It was a tough time in her life. She was not thinking clearly whatsoever, but I just wanna say it.

And I have, but yeah, it's so true, right? And then in the next breath, what are teenage girls told, if you don't dress a certain way, where a certain type of makeup and have a body, let's look a certain way, all men will think you're disgusting. And as a kid, I was always like,

what the fuck? Which is it? Do they wanna fuck you no matter what? Or are you completely repulsive? Like, exactly. It's one or the other, Molly. And it's one of the other,

And then the guy is justified no matter how he treats you. Does he treat you like, because if you, you know, if you reject him, then he can treat you like shit and say you're disgusting. And if, you know, and so, but I was so confused by that. I love my wife, Lexi, so much. We actually, I actually feel like we have some common interests. Yeah, that's exactly, exactly. And I know what, that's brave.

And I know. That is brave. Thank you. Plenty of very good people do say, you know, my partner and my best friend and whatever. And it can totally come from a place of mutual respect and love. But the thing that Zales commercial makes me think of is like, can you believe it? When you were a kid, you didn't even think girls were human. And now you have a best friend who's a girl.

Get her two diamonds, you know? I also just despise, like, cliched sentences that you see over and over again from people thinking they're writing this unique thing about their wife or husband, too. I will add that layer on to it. I mean, I know that got that he's one of my best friends, for sure. But he's one of my best friends. I have multiple best friends. Yeah, you don't want to put that pressure on your partner to have them be your only best friends.

Yeah, that's what it reads to me is that, like, you shut everybody else out of your life. Now this is the only person that matters to you, and that to me is, like, profoundly unhealthy. Yeah, yeah. So when... You gotta have a friend who you go to who's not your partner. It's not your partner that you got...

Or a therapist, either. Yeah, and you hang out and you talk about the ways that Lexi's just awful to you at every turn and just verbally abusive to you when the cameras go off. You could also have a pod. is a third option. No, and that's why it's so great that we have

this close friendship because she knows that there is nothing ever even a million years going on between both of us, but that you can air your grievances the same way she can air her grievances towards me, which are many. And we just, oh, man, she will just go on and on and on about you.

She just has recordings and certain things. Jackie just gets to collect them all like a Pokemon. I'm the gatekeeper. You're like fucking Pans Laverins. She's got like eyeballs on her hands. Unbelievable. Amor Vare.

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And yet, up to 90% of us don't brush for a full two minutes or don't clean evenly. That's nanner sauce. It really is silly how I really only pay attention to my mouth buzz to know how possibly long, I was brushing for. I mean, I zone out, baby. I zone out, and then I get scared that when I close my medicine cabinet mirror door, that something's going to be behind it, it's going to be behind me in the shower. Does that feeling of morning fear ever go away?

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Thank goodness because I was worried they were going to be nubs by 2022. And that's why I love quip. My no-nub, full-on teeth, thank you, and why over one million happy, healthy mouths do too. Quip starts at just $25. And if you go to getquip.com slash page 7 right now, you can get your first refill pack for free. That's your first refill pack free at G-E-T-Q-U-I-P-com slash page 7. But what I did enjoy about Alice Cooper is that after he said this, of course, he got a lot of flack because they're like, what are you just going to like, he's like, no, no, no, it's not a suicide pack.

Right. I didn't mean a suicide pact. It's that we have a life packed with each other. We love life so much and we love life with each other in it. And that we can't even imagine a world trying to survive without the other one being present. And then he also wrote, dot, dot, dot, besides, I'm booked through 2028. So, which, yeah, it's fun. It was just a sweet thing to say.

How old is Alice Cooper, though? He's old. 71. Once you're, not that you don't have a lot of living to do when you're in your 70s, but I feel like once you hit your 70s, it's a little bit more reasonable, perhaps to be like, like, in other words, I guess if he was, like, in his 40s and he was like, I will only die after, like, if my wife dies, I can't live anymore. I'd be like, bro, no, you.

got to like, you got to be ready to, you know, have, you could, life can go on, I hope. Yeah, you know. Yeah, you don't, I mean, but you don't hear a lot of like 40-year-old married couples doing the thing that I think they're trying to romanticize is when you see an old couple when the one of them dies, like the other one dies like a week later. Oh my God, like in the notebook. Oh, my God. And he read the journals her.

He read it her every day since she would remember the love. Never seen it. Spoiler alert It's very sad Spoiled the notebook for hold of it I was totally gonna watch it at some point I bet The only way I would watch it is if Jackie

forces me to for bonus content for this TV For this upbuck Oh my god that's a great idea I would listen to that bonus content Yeah We should just do all of the Nick Sparks movies I don't know if I want to go

down that road. Oh, come on. That would be so, the notebook is the best one. Oh, right. The notebook is pretty good. Mm-hmm. For one of those. Have you ever read a book of his?

I read the notebook. Okay. Was it good? Yeah. So do you give it a, do you give it a single half thumb up? Or are you just, yeah, you're just going to make bird noises? Do you, how many bird noises?

It was a book. It was a book. It was a book. How many bird noises do you give it out of eight bird noises? Out of eight, I would say, that's three. Yeah. Let me get three out of eight. Because you know what is when you get into it, just like a Leanne Moriarty book.

Yes. Oh, my God, Molly. Have you proceeded to read all of her books like I have? I have read all of her books twice. It is. I got her. I mean, I feel like maybe we do this every summer. I can't recommend enough as a summer read.

If you are sitting on a beach, if you are sitting waiting, like I was, I think it was last year, waiting for my niece to get out of dance rehearsal, you know, things like that. You're just sitting trying to get through time, trying to make time go faster, read a Leanne Moriarty book. It is fluff, and it is fun. But it's good fluff. It's great fluff, and now Leon Moriarty is writing the second season of Big Little Lod. which is just I'm yum yum

I also but then the problem is is that I have feelings because it for me the sexiness has been taken down problematically sexy but I've got things in my brain

and Oh we know you've got things in your brain but Merrill Street is dynamite I just wanted to say so Merrill Streep is in the second season season, Leanne Moriarty is writing past the book for it. This is not based on a book. She is writing specifically the second season outside of it, in the outside world of it.

And she wrote this character for, quote, unquote, for Merrill Streep in hopes that maybe Merrill Street would even just like perchance read it. And she named the character Mary Louise. Mary Louise is Merrill Streep's actual name. And so when they was, when she was called with the offer, Merrill Street was such a huge fan of the first season that she didn't even read the script. She was like, whatever it is, yes, I'll do it. I'm in. I want to be a part of it.

And I just read this beautiful interview or Melrosepe was talking about like, in this day and age, things are becoming better where it's like you'll see two or three amazing female actresses leading a show or a movie. She's like, but this one has six. Yes. Six amazing. Amazing women running this show And it is just, oh my God, I love this show so much

Merrill Streep, though, is so good, she's almost like making everyone look bad, almost. It's hard! She's so, she's like my favorite kind of villain in this show. Like, perfect motivation, like, real, like, she almost reminds me a little bit of what's the one, what's the awful villain lady in Harry Potter? Where's the pink and the... Oh, she almost has vibes of that. Oh, the frog woman that makes him right over and over again

that goes into his skin. Yeah, yeah, yeah, where she's really like weird, like she's polite but biting, you know what I mean? Like, Umbridge. Umbrage. Thank you, Umbris. You can stop screaming at your phone. I'm sorry, everyone listening to this.

Umbridge. But yeah, it is, she is just smashing it wide open in this TV show. It is unbelievable. And I will say props to the entire... So I read all of the books. I started reading Lea and Moriarty books years ago. And it is such fluff. And I had like a weird internalized misogyny thing

where I was like, these books must not be good. Because they're like housewife mysteries. And I was like, I'm so embarrassed to be reading such like trash. And then I feel so embarrassed that that was my reaction. Because of course, they're fantastic. Like they're like, yes, they are housewife mysteries and they are fluffy. But they're really brilliantly written. And it honestly took watching Big Little Lies with other people

and being like, oh my God, you guys, I want to watch this HBO show, but it's about this, like, silly little romp of, like, a, of a, you know, of a mystery book. And also props to Leah Moriarty because her books are a little bit sillier, like, some of them are more, like, comedies. And sometimes her characters are a little bit cartoonish. Like the mean mom is, like, a type that she writes a lot. And sometimes it's a little bit over the top.

Like Laura Dern's character? But, yeah, but like, but like really cartoon. Like in the books, they're a little cartoony. And, but the way that they, that she and all the other people who make the show, like, took it from the book, which is kind of a romp, but a very, very well, one of the really good story. But they took it and made it like dark and, like dark and sexy. And I was like not expecting that, but they did it so well. And I feel like it, like, the fact that Meryl Streep's character is so good is like a testament to, like, the author's character. character development because on paper I always read those characters as like a little bit too much.

But then on the screen they like she grounded them. And maybe that's also a testament to Meryl Street too. But she's just like selling it. Oh my God. It's so good. Real quick, what other Leanne Moriarty books would you recommend outside of pretty little or big little? I never. I know it always is in my brain.

Outside of big little lies. The husband's secret was the first one. I love the husband's secret. That was the one that got me hooked. There's one called What Alice Forgot, which I really like a lot. It's like the premise is really cool. It's about somebody, we meet somebody when she's about to have a baby, and then she, like, wakes up and she has a 10-year-old, and the baby is 10,

and she doesn't remember the last 10 years of her life, and it's about her trying to remember it. Three wishes is really good. Three wishes. Yeah, I love three wishes. Three wishes is really good. Like, honestly, they're really good. There's not a late-Liam Mori-Di book that I didn't enjoy the fuck out of. Even the new one is really weird.

What are these Nicola Berry books? Is that a children's series she did or something like that? I don't know. I don't know about those. There's like a Nicola Berry and, you know, with little like subtitles, Earthling Ambassador. Oh, I don't know. These kind of look like they might be children's. Well, anyways.

Wait, have you read Nine Perfect Strangers? Yes. Is it? It's good. Leanne Moriardi Sanders? I, yes, I mean, I finished it in like three days. It's really good. I mean, it's exactly what I want.

I wouldn't put it in my, I wouldn't put it in my, like, top five. No, but it is, it is good. Yeah, I feel like it's good. She actually is very, again, I'm so embarrassed at the reaction I had, because she actually is really good at writing about heavy things. Like, she writes very well about, like, grief and loss. But it's just all in the guise of, like, all her characters are women, all her main characters are women.

and it's all drama It's all based in Australia. They're based in Australia and it's all like dramas about mothers with kids and I had this horrible like I said internalized massaging reaction where I was like, this must be garbage and then I watched big little lives with two men

and they were like this is fantastic and I was like, wait really? Like men can like this? It's so fucking good and then I'm like re-evaluating my entire relationship. I agree on its face too it did look like something like oh Lex this is probably more your thing

and it's just like no honestly watch it and I sat down I was like this is fucking great. I think it was like 30 minutes or not even I think it was like 20 something minutes into it when I was like Jeff just watch it just watch it and he looked to me he's like why have I not watch this? I know man

it's so good and like the scenes with the therapist who is also Calamity Jane yeah it's my girl those scenes are so good like I feel like they do therapy so well and the couple's therapy in the first Susan is also.

It makes me not want to go to therapy, but yes. I think there's like a certain amount of... Why? Because you're going to have to look at yourself under a microscope? Yeah. Well, there's just a certain amount of challenging that this therapist does in a certain way that looks like she's like trying to fucking piss you off with the stuff she's saying and I'm like, is that what it's really like? I don't want to go get badgered by somebody once a week. Let's, this is a perfect segue into our list because I mean, let's talk about people that

needed couples therapy, but sing to me first. You're drunk You're drunk You're drunk I will not sing a song to a drunk woman Sing it to me Who's on the list Yeah, you gotta have that list

I'll sing a song to a drunk woman 17 movies that totally Shattered Celebrity Marriages Movies that shattered celebrity marriages Yeah I kind of want to go back And watch some of these Just to watch the marriages crumble Like Cleopatra

Which I'm gonna go and throw it out there I've never seen it Peter Petsler with Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor. Have you seen it? No. No, I do know that it was like this colossal cluster fuck of a production that never should have worked and ended up becoming this huge success. But apparently all everyone involved was like this is going to be a horrible disaster because how fucking much of a nightmare this movie was to make. Well, and also they hated each other.

Yeah. They hated each other. And Elizabeth Taylor was married to Eddie Fisher at the time. And Richard Burton was married to Sybil Williams. and they couldn't even be in the same room with each other. And then he, like, she would have heard, she called him brutish and boorish, and he only called her Miss Tits.

Miss Tits. But then on their first on-screen kiss, which it's just that, ooh, it's just that steamy, steamy thought of when you really hate someone, you have to pretend that you love them. And the director kept saying, cut, cut, cut, cut, and they couldn't stop making out with each other.

And eventually just destroyed both of their marriages. Well, once the word of the kiss got out, their marriages went up in plans. I mean, I think that they started having relations with each other. Probably, yeah. Seems like they were pretty. Because how do you stop a person that you hate from talking? Yeah. Make them eat your vagina.

That's, I think, that's how you can do it. I read that in a cosmos. It'd be ate each other 69. Yeah, then it's perfect. Then no one has to yell at each other. Yeah, no one can scream. Just like which we all know about this one, Mr. and Mrs. Smith, Which I don't think I want to watch this one.

Yeah, this was such a weird time. Do you remember this time? I do. I'm surprised, isn't it supposed to be all sex, sex, Jackie? I'm surprised that it's not a fun sex. Yeah, it's an action sex romp. It's supposed to be an action sex romp. And I don't know if it's actually supposed to be any good.

Wait, Holden, you haven't seen it either? No. I've seen scenes, though. They were both married to other people, and this is when they started having their slam fest. I do remember that. Because, you know, how does one make kiss on someone for that long and not getting to? I guess you have to just, like, shut it off. Because even Zendaya and Tom Holland are, like, everyone's saying that, like, they're together because of euphoria.

Or not because of euphoria, because of the Spider-Man universe and everything. And, like, how do you make kiss and not at least feel something? I don't know if I could do it. Especially if you've been branded, like, the two sexiest people on the planet. Yeah, if you're the two, like, most beautiful people on the planet and you're rubbing up on each other, you probably got to at least think about doing more. Yeah, like Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman, not now, but back then, I mean, Nicole Kidman still is. But when they were in the movie Days of Thunder, Tom Cruise was married to Mimi Rogers, and they played love interest with each other and eventually left Mimi Rogers for Nicole. Kidman. We know how that turned out, but that's because

Scientology and contracts. Oh, interesting. You say anything negative to say about Scientology that might affect your cast. Not this close. Not this close to where the Scientology building is blocks away from here. And I'm not going

to say it. I like it and I'm mine with it. Don't ruin my family. Don't ruin my family. I've never seen the Misfit but apparently Marilyn Monroe and Arthur Miller, their marriage got destroyed because of it. Ah, interesting, yeah.

They definitely, who did she leave him for? So they, so Miller wrote it, they had been married for four years. Miller wrote the movie as a drama to star Monroe in, and he eventually, oh, is Clark Gable in this movie? Yeah, Gable died 12 days after the filming completed. Monroe died one year after the film was released. I need to learn more about old school Hollywood. They were all slamming each other.

They were all slamming each other, and they were all sexy as hell. Like the worm time I went down about the lavender weddings, I feel like I want to know way more about this. And so, I mean, Marilyn Monroe, you know, ba-b-b-boom, boom, boom! And I love seeing the pictures of her now when they're like, didn't you know she was a size 14?

It's like, well, those were different sizes. I know. You see how tiny your waist was? I don't like those. It's like a weird rather than, I think that those like Marilyn Monroe was actually just a size 14. I feel like it's an effort to be like, it presents itself as body positive when in fact it's just like she wasn't. I don't like those at all. I'm glad you brought that up.

Those always annoy me. It's like, admit it. She was like voluptuous and that's what people loved about her. Like don't you like. She was curvy. Yes. And yes, we have different standards for beauty now that are. unhealthy and you know can be toxic for girls and women to internalize but don't be like

melvin road she was she wasn't even have a hot sexy curvy body that people love it's why i watch summer pitch every year so that i can you know think about a hot dude liking a chubby girl on a baseball team you know i saw i i i got to have something well also apparently which i didn't know the king and queen of wholesome which is not what they are called or whatsoever but that's how i feel about them because I just saw Deadpool for the first time that apparently were on the set of Green Lantern that Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds were on. Ryan Reynolds was married to Starlett Johansson at the time and Blake Lively was with Penn Badgley, the gossip girl dude and they were on it and that's when they started hanging out even though they're very coy to discuss when

they started being together because they don't want to be seen as that but that makes sense. and now she's about to pop with another one of their kids. And I think they really do truly love each other, which is nice. I am unexcited by Ryan Reynolds. Really? Yeah. I don't, nothing negative. I just am like, eh, that guy.

He's just, he just, he seems like, have you seen Daredevil? Daredevil, no. I mean Deadpool? I mean Deadpool. I have not seen Deadpool. But people really love Deadpool, right? I feel like Deadpool is like a real big turning point for his charm and, like, Okay. All right. That's fair.

Yeah. See, you don't think so? I was, two days ago I watched Deadpool for the first time. I knew that it was like, cheeky. I knew a lot of douchebags that really, really love Deadpool. Well, that's, I can't. Yeah. And so that's why I was colored by it.

And I was watching it. I was like, oh, it was a really great movie. And he's very good in it. But surprisingly, he doesn't do it for my chauchies. That's okay. He doesn't get me squirty. I don't, like, you know a lot. I mean, I definitely, like, in a heartbeat,

would have sex with Danny DeVito, but I don't think he's really my time. Well, I would, too. Danny DeVito in Goodellis is one of my favorite. Home alone. Home alone, one of my favorite Danny DeVito. No, you bad. You're being bad.

You're being bad. But that's it. That's all I got for my list. Uh-oh, that means it's time for blind items. Ah, we can't see ya! Every time I try to think of a cool tagline or something, like, oh no, it's gotten dark all of a sudden or something. I think you did great this time.

I thought that was great, yeah. I'm trying. You're doing a really good job. The foreign-born former A-list rapper was speaking the truth about what she witnessed. Her reason for revealing it is that the former A-list tweener has been hell-bent on having program directors stop playing the rapper's music. So this is a feud between a tweener, former tweener, singer, and a rapper.

Rihanna and Miley is correct. Rihanna not correct. Nikki's not foreign born, though. Is she? I guess. Oh. I didn't know that. I don't know.

You have to look. I should have looked that up, actually. You're right. Because I was also confused by that. I know that they are currently in a huge feud right now. Currently, they've been, remember when she was like, what's good? And I was even more in love with Nikki. Although now I think I'm siding with Cardi B over Nikki.

So, yeah. Myla recently said, had a lyric in the song, Cattitude that goes, I love you, Nikki, but I listen to Cardi. And Nikki and Cardi B have been at odds after a fight at a New York fashion week party in September. Do you guys have the deets on that? Because I wasn't, did they actually, like, get into a fistic? Is that when? Cardi B threw a shoe at her?

What? I think, and then somebody threw a drink. Oh, okay. And they've been, but they've been dissing each other for, well, right, Nikki and Miley, I don't remember what they were fighting about back in that, at that VMAs, which was, I think, in 2015. Yeah, Cardi B threw a shoe at Nikki Minaj during fashion week. Well, if you'd like to know what Nikki Minaj did, she came out and said that she

saw Miley Cyrus sing the D of producer Mike Mike Will in the studio. What? She said, on her... What's great about Cardi B is that she would be like, yeah, I did that. What the fuck do you care? You know, if it was her,

but it's Miley Cyrus doing it. So, Nikki and I said on her Queen radio show the other night, Purdue chickens can never talk shit about Queens. She disrespected me in a magazine article for no reason.

I had just seen her after she sucked Mike Will's dick in the studio. Ah, I see. I mean, here's the thing. I feel like I got aside with Cardi all the time. I got, and between Nikki

and my... I like Miley a lot, but I also just can't help but feel like I got a sad with... Like, I like, Miley, like... I'm down with the clown with all of them. I like all of them a lot. Me too, but also apparently, Cardi B apparently threw the shoe at Nikki Minaj because she finally... Who throws this shoe? She threw the shoe because she just literally took it off her and just went, bop!

Because Nikki Minaj was bad-mouthing her parenting skills. Oh. And that was one thing that Cardi B was like, I don't give a fuck what you say about me. Right. But I'm a good fucking mother. Yeah, throw a shoe. Did she ask her if the baby was hungry? Hell, maybe you should.

Oh, you considered feeding it. Is the baby dirty? Maybe she's her diaper. Yeah, but for the grace of God, did I not throw a shoe at somebody who asked me? So I'm with Cardi on that one. And I definitely remember back whenever the, it's obviously been long enough. I don't remember why Nikki and Miley were fighting in 2015, I think it was. because I remember doing a lesson with middle schoolers that year

on how your tone of voice can really inform the same, you know, you can have the same words mean a lot of different things and I use what's good as an example. Also, how are you in the-hmm? Yeah, yeah. What does Nikki come out of the bathroom? She's like, oh, what are they doing over there? She's just sucking his dick in front of me in the middle of the studio?

How does that happen? You know, it's all, you know. How does that even, who initiates that? It's just like, hey, Nick and I just went to go take a, she said it was a number two. so I think we have enough time. Like, what? But either way, I can't, I wasn't there.

You know what I mean? I wish I was, but I wasn't there. The fact is, I will rock out two songs by all three of them and be happy as fun. Exactly. Okay, this A-List, mostly movie actress, acquired another of her special visas she is able to get because of her unique position

to bring in two teens from a foreign country for some of her offspring to have sex with for a few weeks before she ships them back off to her. her friends. Angelina Jolie. 100%. Knew it. How do you know that? Because that's what she does with her children. She buys them their sex.

Sex people. That's interesting. That is interesting. What about you, Molly? Do you plan on arranging sexual experiences for your children when they become of age? I mean, I certainly we should destigmatize sex work, but I don't

want to have anything to do with. But you won't No, they should choose. They would like to do that. They're more than welcome to do it. But how dare you choose what their sex is going to be? That's not something that mothers or parents should be involved with. Because I'd make it weird. I'd have them show up in like a hamburger costume or something weird.

You know what I mean? I'd be like, yeah, this is what you're into now. Don't you like it? No, you have to keep the hamburger head on. Oh, do I have to kiss the buns or do I kiss the meat? No, you kiss the lettuce. My mom said you have to keep the hamburger head on. I just want to move away from this as quickly as possible.

This foreign-born, former A-list, mostly movie actress who will never match her fame level. Oh my God, whatever. When she was a teen, she'll never reach her fame level when she was a teen. And that long-running franchise has always been the prim and proper one. So it was fun to see her doing some lines of Coke at a party last week. It's such a ridiculous end to a blind head of. This bitch did coke. This woman did some cocaine, even though she's a bit of a square square.

Well, her character from the long-running franchise was also a bit of a square square. Prim and proper child actress now grown up. Elizabeth Berkeley. Matilda! No. No, television show. Yeah. Don't tell me.

It's not a TV show. It's a movie? It's a movie. Oh, is her-man. Watson. 100%. And of course, little women, going to be out in theaters December 25th. She's a grown-ass woman. Let her do coke. Yeah, let her do coke because she

wasn't do coke. Jesus Christ. You got to be in the late 20s. I mean, they did say, but it was nice to see her doing Coke. She's listed it up a little bit. Yeah. I'll take it. Although I don't know if that's what a little woman would do. I do have a lot of things to say about the Greta Gerwig

adaptation of little women, but that is not this week. We will get to it. next week because it is time to end our episode. Thank you guys so much for joining us today. I, uh, oh, ha, ha, I guess, Hakuna Matato.

It means of worries for the rest of your days. I'm so mad. I'm so mad. I'm going to go see the fucking movie. I'm going to see the fucking movie. It's going to be beautiful. Yeah, what if it's just awesome? Are Beyonce and Donald Glover voices in it as well?

Oh, okay, cool. They're not just doing that one song. No, no, no, no. They are adult Simba and adult Nala. Oh, fantastic. Oh, my God. That's perfect. And the little boy who's playing Simba has like a voice of like Michael, like the young Michael

Dr. Yeah, a wonderful little boy's voice. Doesn't that make you happy, Jackie? And especially since I've been, I'm now finally rounding out watching community. So, you know, I'm in full on Donald Glover mode. And yes, just like everyone else, I would like for him to have my children. Just like in junior. My name is Jackie Zabrowski.

My name is Molly Neffel. My name is Holden McNeely. You can follow me on Twitch. Hold Nader's Ho. We got Jackanee's on Friday nights, and it's a lot of fun. It's a lot of fun. Twitch.tv. Forward slash forward slash hold of Nader's Ho.

Right? Was it? Yeah. It's a big forward one. Not the difficult one. Easier one to find on the keyboard. Oh, that's kind of nice for them to do for us. We do it at 3 p.m. Pacific Standard Time.

We do it at 6 p.m. Eastern Standard. time that is the same time because time zones are weird I love you guys you need a break you need a break I need a break we love you guys and we will talk to you next week time for a read oh my hey everybody holding here and I just wanted to take a moment to give some patreon a shout out thank you everybody who has supported page seven through patreon you guys are the best and that's why I want to give you some shoutouts right here right now okay here we go Justin Gray, thank you. Sarah Maholtz, you rule, Jordan Solomon, what's up, Hillary Wheelan, Rimley. Let's get crazy, Margaret Grubb, Emily Schroote, Jamie McDaniel, McThank you, Andrew, thank you, Liz Kramer, Eric Plute, Allium, Ercinum, you sound like a magician. Drew Winiger, thank you so much, dude. Connie, Danielle Pugliessay, thank you so much. I hope I said that right, I probably didn't.

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