Page 7 - Episode 310: Performative Daddyness

Episode Date: July 4, 2019

It's a no-boys allowed sleepover! Jackie and Molly discuss Jeremy Renner's music "career", who's gonna play Ursula in a live action Little Mermaid remake, and a celebrity sex hex. This month... only, when our listeners go to http://modsy.com, start a design project, and use code PAGE7, you’ll get 20% off! Go to http://PHLUR.com today and use promo code PAGE7 to get 20% off your FIRST custom PHLUR sample set! Get started today at http://stitchfix.com/page7 and get an extra 25% off when you keep everything Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:15 I was hanging out with old Eddie tunes the other night, and he put the Kiss song, God gave rock and roll to you. Just, man, did he just dagger it right into my brain? And just for days, for days I've just been singing, God came rock and roll to you. And I'm just like, oh, I don't like any of the sentiments of the song. I can't get it out of my head. No, because in reality, kiss gave us rock and roll.
Starting point is 00:00:43 Is that rock and roll? I'm not that sure. My name is Jackie Spruosky, though, and welcome to page seven. My name is Molly Neffle, and I'm so embarrassed that I don't think that I could, like, if you played me five songs and one of them was a kiss song, I'm not sure if I could distinguish between them and, like, I don't know, 25 other bands that I just don't have a kiss connoisseurship. I understand, especially in that grouping, they do a lot.
Starting point is 00:01:15 sound the same. Until you see them, obviously, then you know it's kiss. And I hope that I'm not upsetting anyone out there about my, like, my kiss headness. I just know that. You get all the Kiss fans coming after us. I know, I, because I, same's. I do know that I enjoy kiss and I enjoy bands that also sound like Kiss. And I mean, I love this song, Detroit Rock City, you know, rock and roll all night. That's a great song. Sure. That's pretty much where my, a lot of my kiss ends is where some others begin. Yeah, I still, I refer often to a conversation that Gideon and I had where I,
Starting point is 00:01:50 on a road trip where I had him explain the difference between like metal and hair metal. And I think that I, just when I felt like my feet were on solid ground, then you all started talking about new metal. And obviously I know the difference because that's a timeline thing. Yes. But throwing, and I don't even know whether.
Starting point is 00:02:12 their hair is even remotely even, but then my problem is I think I know I can identify certain bands in the metal group. I can identify certain bands in the hair metal group, but then like I don't know what something like kiss is, you know, I just don't, that's, it's just a whole big kind of question mark to me. We are in a territory that neither one of us know absolutely anything about. And I don't know the distinction. We need Marcus. We need Marcus. This is why we need Marcus. Right. Marcus or Eddie would both like, I feel like they would, Eddie would. would just be like, you know, ripping his hair out, hearing me even have this conversation for how off I am, you know?
Starting point is 00:02:47 Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that's okay because, you know what? We can't know everything all the time. We are just human beings at the end of the goddamn day. And we should say that it's not that Holden has been shamed into silence. It's that he is not here today. He is not here today. We're having a girls only club because Holden's on his honeymoon.
Starting point is 00:03:08 Oh, does a man want a honeymoon with his new wife? I guess that's fine. I guess we'll allow it. I don't know if you saw, but I did see on his Instagram not to sweat shame because I am one of these sweatiest people. And if you guys listen to Roundtable, gentlemen, I used to make fun of Holden a lot because he travels in the summer with a sweat rag
Starting point is 00:03:28 because as someone else that also is very, very sweaty, he used to be very ashamed of his sweat, so he brings the sweat rag to wipe himself down. But the problem is that now, which I'm very happy that he's grown, and that he keeps his sweat rag with him loud and proud, but just sits on his shoulder like a little parrot. And I saw a picture of him because he's in New Orleans with his beautiful wife, Lexi. And, man, you could just feel how sweaty he was through the picture.
Starting point is 00:03:56 Yeah, yeah. It is not a good time from what I hear to be in New Orleans. New Orleans is... No, I think it's a rough time right now. It's too humid. It's a swamp. It's literally a swamp. And I also honeymoon in New Orleans.
Starting point is 00:04:12 Orleans. So that's something that hold them I have in common. Yeah. I didn't know that. It was like a year and a half after our wedding. But yeah. But that was the trip that we took. And it is, it was fucking awesome. It's like such a wonderful, happy place to just eat yourself silly and walk around with a drink in your hand. And it's amazing. But I was there in February and it was like not quite as tropical as I wanted to be. But everybody was like, never come here in the summer ever. Yeah, I can't even I hear that a lot Like especially
Starting point is 00:04:45 Since you can drink Outside of bars there I hear that like the The streets are like a river of Puk smell In like especially like downtown Like proper like New Orleans It just smells like puke in the summer
Starting point is 00:05:00 Yeah I imagine I Because it's like You know like how every tourist Destination has like that street Where you get the shirts That say MySpace to my face You know like
Starting point is 00:05:11 Of course Oh, yeah, and I have no, I actually enjoy a great tourist section for sure. Same. That's the thing. I have, like, a soft spot for those streets. So, like, in Key West, it's Duval Street. And, like, oh, yeah, baby. You know, like, I, like, that, I, like, I live for that shit.
Starting point is 00:05:28 And so, obviously, in New York, it's, I mean, not in New York. It's in New Orleans, it's, uh, Bourbon Street. And Bourbon Street, you know, what the whole time we were planning our trip, everyone was like, well, so avoid Bourbon Street. And I was just like, nope. And like, I don't know why, but I don't know. I don't know. I want the chachis, bitch.
Starting point is 00:05:43 I want the chachis, and I want the trash. Like, I love, it's like karaoke bars, and you can just hear just bros, just having a great time singing, like, you know, probably kiss. I want to do the ba, ba, ba, to sweet Caroline, you know? Yes, exactly. And also, of course, you can get, you know, not official Ritas, but actual Ritas in a big plastic to go.
Starting point is 00:06:08 Whoa. You're saying that not in cans because I'm just, going to go ahead and let everyone know that it is 11 o'clock in the morning where I am. And baby, do I have an ice cold white claw in my hand? Because it's summertime. And it's time for Spike Seltzer's and Ritas and cans. It's time to drink from a can. And, you know, a Rita in a can is a Rita with a capital R. But it's arguably not the same as an actual margarita. I'm no bartender. I'm no Somali. We ain't no, we ain't none of that.
Starting point is 00:06:42 We ain't no, we ain't no fancy. We trashy. I guess in New Orleans it's a daquery is what you get. It's like a, it's not a Rita. It's a ice drink and you can get it in a very large novelty shape, plastic container with a very large straw. Ooh, like a mask or some sort of boot? Yeah, like we have one that's, you know, a foot and a half tall. I think we use it as a flower vase sometimes.
Starting point is 00:07:08 It's like a big. tube that you shoot alcohol down your guzzle with and just all sorts of terrible people walking around with them and everyone who knows good shit to do in New Orleans is like, don't go anywhere near this place. And of course I wanted to do the good shit too, but I wanted to do, I wanted to drink from a big plastic boot and do the karaoke and all that. And so I love the hot puk center of New Orleans just as much as I love the outer neighborhoods. I think there's something about being a New Yorker that you spend so much time trying to out
Starting point is 00:07:44 look like a tourist that whenever I go anywhere else, I don't care. I want to look like a tourist. This is what I'm here for. I want all the shit and I think that, so I think that I think a lot of people have seen out there the campaign that's going on right now, hashtag never apologize about the margaritas
Starting point is 00:08:00 in a can because like you were just bringing up. I think there's a distinct difference between Rita's and margaritas. You know what I mean? I think that's what they are like, full establishing the line that what we enjoy when you are not thick with child are Ritas. We like Ritas in a can. Yeah, you just know you're getting a Rita, you know, it's like, listen, I love a cheese
Starting point is 00:08:23 plate at a nice restaurant. That's like my favorite thing to get at a restaurant. But I also like, you know, a 25 cent container of like orange crackers with cheese in them that you get at the subway station, you know, and I love them both. And they're not comparable. and, you know, I love a real margarita made by a bartender with lime juice and salt and all that on the rocks, but do I also like a Rita in a can? Yes, exactly.
Starting point is 00:08:50 Do not compare these things. It's a completely different beast, and especially I was just busy getting, I was laying in a tube, just getting fried the other day by myself at the pool, just cheed out of my gourd with a nice cold Rita in a can. You know, that's what, that's what to me a summer day is. And so they put out this hashtag Never Apologized thing that essentially is saying like, yeah, you can call us trashy, you can call us gross, you can call us basic, whatever it is, we get it. We're a margarita and a can. But you know what? They're telling us to own ourselves. And the last line of it is we'll never be sorry for who we are. No one should. Sincerely, Rita's. And this is from, I'm assuming the Budweiser company. Read at reedas.org. It is, it is, it is, it is, might be, it's like, I know that their Twitter handle is the Rita's. Yeah, it's the official, it's the official word of the Rita.
Starting point is 00:09:46 Yeah, and I, I, and it's, it's trash. Remember those old school Bud Light, uh, commercial, like the radio commercials like, to the dude playing the cans in the, when they shouldn't play the cans. Remember how? What is called? Dear America once or whatever. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's stuff like that where it's like, you know what?
Starting point is 00:10:11 Yeah, I know this is completely just advertisements speaking to like the, it's real men of genius. That's what it's called. Oh, God. I loved that thing. I loved everything about it. I was like, this is great because, you know what it makes me smile? And yeah, do they get me? And sometimes you just got to give in to advertisements.
Starting point is 00:10:30 We are in the, it's like, that's what this country is based on. That's what economy is based on. You know what? You got to give in sometimes. Well, we're in a very weird time because, right, it's definitely a thing. Like, it's, and the full text is, you know, it's worth checking out. Because it's like a feminist manifesto about, like, this is, the Ritas get shamed for being a girl drink, but we'll never apologize. And women shouldn't apologize for being who they are.
Starting point is 00:10:58 And it's really one of those things where you're like, all right, Rita's. I get it. I get it. I see what you're doing. God damn it. but are you delightful? And it's true that certain drinks get totally judged by being too femme. That's absolutely a thing.
Starting point is 00:11:12 If anything, I would expect Arbor Mist to put out a statement or something. But I'm proud of the Ritas for embracing slash pushing back on the ways that they are ashamed for being a girl drink. But if my, listen, you know I'll drink a Rita at any opportunity, like literally any opportunity. But to be fair, I think that a lot of the shaming of Ritas, Maybe I'm wrong.
Starting point is 00:11:36 Perhaps it is very common to shame Rita's for being a girly drink. Where I stand, the shaming of Rita's has to do with the fact that it is a malt liquor beverage that tastes like cough syrup, you know? Yeah. Oh, yeah. It doesn't, I wouldn't say it tastes great. It's just refreshing. It is definitely malt liquor. Like, it's not a margarita.
Starting point is 00:11:57 It is malt liquor. And it tastes like artificial grape. Everything. All of it. None of it tastes real. Wait, was I talking about on here about the passion fruit arena? Was I drinking that at here or was I drinking that a jacquinease? You were definitely drinking a rita last time, but I can't remember if you told us what flavor.
Starting point is 00:12:16 I mean, the passion fruit arena is rough. It's strong, but I enjoyed it. Yeah, I remember last summer drinking a grape orita, and I was like, it tastes like I'm robo-tripping, you know? Like, it just straight up tastes like cough syrup. Oh, yeah. That's, I mean, that's why I love it. That's why he's just stuck back on those diamond tap bears so hard.
Starting point is 00:12:37 Well, and that's why I love, that's, my fondness for ices comes from a similar place. Yes, it is malt liquor. Yes, it is something that, you know, quote unquote, bitches are known to drink in sororities. And yes, I will drink whatever is handed to me when I am not thick with child, because it tastes like Skittles and it is fantastic.
Starting point is 00:12:58 You know what you should be doing, Molly? Because this has also been another fix of mine through the summer, or something that you can actually jump on. Have you gotten a big pail of otter pops lately? Have you ever gotten into otter pops? Are those like Freezy pops? Like the Freezy pops, yeah. Like the icy ones, like the ones in the long tubes
Starting point is 00:13:16 that you suck the juice out of the bottom of it. I do know them, but I do not like currently have any on me. I've been playing that game. I think it's a great summer game. And it does give you the fix of like a bunch of sugar and that like fake fruit flavor, but it also cools you down. Yeah, but you know what I would do if I wasn't pregnant
Starting point is 00:13:36 or what I hope you do is to cut it open. Poor vodka in it? Just poor vodka more a little shot of vodka. Oh my God, why am I not doing that? Molly, where's my fucking brain been at? You know what? Thank you. Happy Fourth of July to us and to everyone listening to this because this is what we need to be doing.
Starting point is 00:13:54 That's so smart. That's such a bobo-ass way to make a great summer cocktail when you don't have a blender. It would be good, right, you don't need a blender. It's on the go. It's like a go-gert, but with- Oh my God, you just slop it in there. And it would actually be a pretty good amount, you know?
Starting point is 00:14:13 It might be a little less than a shot, so you could really kind of just have it all day. Slam them. That is a really good idea because I was thinking about going old school and making jello shots for the 4th of July because I got these, like, I saw one of those ice cube trays that have like the stars in it.
Starting point is 00:14:30 I was like, oh, I'll just make star-shaped jello shots for all my friends that are in their 30s that are going to be sweating in the sun during the day, which none of it's a good idea. But I could do otter pop shots. Otter pop shots sounds like a lot of fun, and you would be like the barefoot contessa of trash. Oh my God, thank you, Molly.
Starting point is 00:14:52 You really have to come over and try one of my otter pop. Oh, it's great. You know, you never think about Jeffrey out with this. boys on the weekends if you have an utter pop shot. You're right, man. I'll just, you go out to, you go out to Fire Island, Jeffrey. I'm going to be here with my otter pop shots and I don't give them fuck about what you do out there.
Starting point is 00:15:12 It would probably be, you know, if Barefoot Contessa actually did it, she would probably have to like make her own, you know, vodka ice pops with like her own freshly squeezed grapes or something. But, you know, you could definitely be, it's definitely something that the pioneer. woman would do. Whoa. Them's fighting words, Molly. I don't know if she would.
Starting point is 00:15:34 I don't think she has that much fun. No, she doesn't have any fun, but she does approve of store-bought products in a way that Ina just doesn't. That is completely true. But you know, I assume, had absolutely no fun? Yeah, that's just a bit of a stretch. I watched old dogs yesterday, guys, and I feel the need to talk about, I went down. So I just go ahead so everybody knows.
Starting point is 00:15:59 I've been almost completely alone for about a week. I've been referring to myself as puppy on because I've just been in solitary confinement with my niece, dog, Wendy, while everyone is out of town. And I was starting to go a little mad as I was in my solitary curfinement, as I'd like to call it. Solitary curfinement, Molly. Yeah, I'm fucking.
Starting point is 00:16:26 I said Do you Are you familiar With the movie old dogs? I am not And I actually had to read your email Several times Because if any of you have ever read
Starting point is 00:16:39 Any of Jackie's Instagram captions She also writes emails The same way And sometimes when you're trying To get down to business It's very hard to decipher What's actually going on
Starting point is 00:16:51 There's a lot of intermittent Capitalization And you can kind of tell like the roller coaster of emotions she's going on when she's typing. And so I was like reading about this old dogs thing and I was like, I'm not even sure if I'm supposed to know what she's talking about. That's what happens. That's what happens when you hit late day.
Starting point is 00:17:12 And I'm just sitting with Wendy, Wendy who was just brutally depressed because mumsy and pupsie are out of town. And so we're just sitting and I'm like, I'm sad too, Wendy. So I got all cheebed out and it started watching old dogs. So I went down a weird John Travolta Worm Time. So Old Dogs is a movie that is very bad. And it is starring Robin Williams and John Travolta. Now, all of this started because some amazing human being on Twitter tagged me in this video.
Starting point is 00:17:44 Oh, man. Guys, I think I might hate it. I'm going to go ahead and slap that on there. There's an Old Dog's music video. It is John Travolta doing a cover. of Bobby Brown's Every Little Step. Now, in the music video
Starting point is 00:18:01 that this is for the movie Old Dogs, he does the cover, but also does the video with his daughter, Ella Blue. And at the time, I'm going to go ahead and say that she was maybe 10 years old, but Ella is also in
Starting point is 00:18:17 the movie Old Dogs. So they did this music video together and it is just man. Oh, Lord. So I said to Molly and I asked her not to watch it until we watched it on the episode today because I'd like for all of us to watch us together. I think this is important. I think this is something in our entertainment field that we had a blind eye to before and it's time to open it up. Are you ready to open up your third eye? I'm ready. I'm very ready. I didn't know about many of the things that you've
Starting point is 00:18:51 mentioned and here I am ready to learn. And also, for some reason, Bernie Mac is in old dogs, and he's great. In my brain, Bernie Mac can do absolutely no wrong. He is someone that I miss every single day. Robin Williams also looked like he was performing with a gun to his head, and that was very upsetting. Amy Sedaris is in it. Can I also just say real fast that the plot,
Starting point is 00:19:19 the plot of old dogs, I kind of want to do what they did with wild hogs and watch old dogs, and watch old dogs every single day for a year and just see where my brain goes with it because it doesn't make any sense. So could you maybe just give me one sentence about what old dogs is about? Robin Williams and John Travolta are best friends,
Starting point is 00:19:42 and they're in their 50s, and John Travolta is a horn dog of a man, and seven years ago, Robin Williams had sex with Kelly Preston. Now, Kelly Preston is John Travolta's wife in real life. And in the movie, they had sex, and she's an environmentalist, so she went off. Turns out she got knocked up by Robin Williams. She shows up seven years later with twins and says, hey, I'm an environmentalist.
Starting point is 00:20:10 I'm going to jail for a couple of weeks. Can you watch these children? They're actually yours. Oh. Now, they don't know how to be daddies, but they've got to learn how to be daddies. Daddy. Oh, this is the genre of men have to take care of children. Whoa.
Starting point is 00:20:28 Yes. And what? And then on top of it, during this time, this is the time they're trying to sell their company. It is just a company. Don't worry about what they do. You don't need to know. Their company is trying to sell their company to a Japanese company.
Starting point is 00:20:44 So are there a lot of very racially insensitive jokes about Japanese people in it? As a matter of fact, yes. And it doesn't make any sense. And they just, it's just. It is just, I don't know why I watched it. Molly, I don't know why I watched it. And I wish that I could share the Marco Polo as I sent to our producer, Mary, as I'm watching it by myself, because I just kept sitting there.
Starting point is 00:21:08 I'm like, I don't know why. Why does Bernie Mac just show up as a master puppeteer? Why is there a whole scene when John Travolta and Robin Williams switch, quote, unquote, their medication? And I think it's supposed to be like a blood pressure pill or like something. else, but it makes Robin Williams look like he's on an acid trip, and it makes John Travolta's face spasm and seizure in very, like, visually upsetting ways. It sounds like you watched it because the entire Travolta Preston family is in it? I had to.
Starting point is 00:21:42 I had to do it. And also Lori Laughlin is in it as a Japanese translator, and she speaks fake Japanese in it. Oh, my God. Wow, this really does have everything. So if you guys wanted to watch along with us, this is just called Old Dogs music video Every Little Step. And I just wanted to watch part of it with Molly just to show. I watched this about four times yesterday.
Starting point is 00:22:09 And I'm scared that I might have a mental breakdown. There also the other thing that I found in my John Travolta Wormtime is that he was also just in a movie with Ella Blue, who's now all grown up. The movie is called Poison Rose. It has Morgan Freeman, and it has fat Brendan Fraser in it. And it went right to On Demand, and I watched the trailer, and John DeVoldo did another movie where he, like, kind of talks like this, and the movie don't make any sense. And you should watch a trailer for Poison Rose. It's really, I don't even know if it's old dogs bad enough to watch for the yucks.
Starting point is 00:22:48 You know what I mean? Uh-huh. And also, it is very cute that even though. John Travolta and Kelly Preston allowed their Scientology views to not get their son the help that he required, the medical help he required, and so he died way too young. He does really love his daughter Ella that I keep watching in all these interviews that they're having together. I was working in my living room late one night when I looked at the state of my design with a fright, for I haven't had the time to design my furniture and suddenly, to my surprise. I used Modsey.
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Starting point is 00:26:18 So there's clips of old dogs in it. And this starts off with her telling some nonsensical story. See, this is how they looked after they took their medication, which that did. He looks like their Joker for some reason. Yeah, he's scary. It's very, it's very upsetting. Was that Robin Williams and Blackface? Um, well, tan.
Starting point is 00:26:40 Yeah, kind of. Why did they choose a Bobby Brown song to cover? Is this official in any way? Like, is this the song of the movie? It does play in the credits of the movie. And I don't know why in big words, Ella Blue is behind them, which is the daughter's name.
Starting point is 00:27:05 And Blue is spelled like the French way. Even though there's another child in the movie. Ew, and they're doing these hoppy dances together. I just really, and she's being, like, sexy little girl in it. What is this? Are we talking about late 90s, or is this the early 2000s? This is 2000s.
Starting point is 00:27:26 Ugh. Oh, my God. Oh, and why do they touch each other? This clappy, I just... As someone that makes enough jokes about daddies, this is just... Yeah. Can you imagine John Travolta pitching this movie,
Starting point is 00:27:45 just being like, or this video, being like, okay, okay, I got it. I love my kid. I'm not saying that John Travolta, I don't think he's being creepy with the daughter. This is just a very upsetting. It's not creepy. But it is like, it's like, there's just something about like performative daddiness of being like, look at how much I love my daughter that's, that makes me real skis down.
Starting point is 00:28:08 And the fact that he keeps grabbing on his chest. Yeah. And what he's showing is what he does with his daughter is that they sit and they watch television together. They sit and watch television together slash they watched a movie that they were both in together. When I hate the breakdown conversation talking through the song. Oh, I forgot Seth Green is in this movie. Justin Long is in this movie. Justin Long, really?
Starting point is 00:28:38 Yeah, and then Bernie Mac plays this master puppeteer, and he does these like puppet shows. Ew, if you let me come to your world. Oh, God, I hate this hand on the head, hip combo thing she's doing. I just hate it. I ate it, I ate it. And it makes me so upset. Like many things in the early 2000s, there's no excuse for this existing in the early 2000s and not in the 90s. Like, I feel like there is no time when this aesthetic was appropriate.
Starting point is 00:29:15 No. And also, it was just that, it is that same time period, too, of, like, movies, that this movie was not made for children. But also, it's very disrespectful to anyone older because they're just like, man, old people can't do anything. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Oh, yeah. So it's not just that they're men. It's that they're old men.
Starting point is 00:29:37 Yes. And because, so every, it's just constant jokes that, like, are you guys the grandparents of these kids? Uh-huh. And for some reason, Robin Williams lives in a place that is, it is illegal for children to be on the premises. So they have to stay at John Travolta's place. Which I think that even in, like, whole.
Starting point is 00:29:59 Old people, like old people homes, you can still bring children. So John Travolta is not any of their biological fathers in the, in the fictional narrative, Robin Williams is. But he bonds with the children anyway just by being like daddy's friend. It's dad. He's being unky, unky jauntra. I don't know. I don't know. I have, I got to say, I feel no clarity after watching that music video.
Starting point is 00:30:27 I know. and there's a lot of peepy-poopy jokes. And you know how I hate pee-pee-poohy jokes. Your favorite. I hate it. I hate it. I'm sorry. I know we have to stop talking about old dogs because now most of the episode has been about old dogs.
Starting point is 00:30:40 But I just, I don't know. I don't know what to do with myself. And I was worried, I was like, am I going to be okay? And if I don't talk about this, if I don't talk about what I did with my day, then I felt like it was a problem. You know what I mean? Yeah. Well, and also the thing about your commitment to bad,
Starting point is 00:30:58 movies. Like, I have a strong commitment to bad television shows, which I tell myself is like lower stakes than a movie because it was only half an hour or an hour. But truly, it's not because if I watch, you know, three episodes of beat Bobby Flay, that's like the same length as a movie. But you really will, you know, I feel like if you watch a bad movie and you have to watch the whole thing, it really does define your day in a way that's kind of different than television because you're like, I just had an immersive narrative experience that lasted for, you know, 90 minutes and now I've got to talk about not blue dogs, old dogs with somebody.
Starting point is 00:31:32 Yeah, but that's the whole thing is it too. When you give into that and you watch them by yourself, that's the scary part because I not only committed to it, but there would be no shame if I shut it off. No one would know if I just shut it off. But I had to watch the entire
Starting point is 00:31:48 thing. Uh-huh. Yeah, it's like people who can't stop once they start a book. You're like that with a John Travolta movie. But so to back up a little bit then, Does that mean that you watched the movie Poison Rose, also starring Ella Blue and John Travolta that came out in the year of Our Lord 2019? I couldn't bring myself to do it because I have just recently bought and spent way
Starting point is 00:32:16 too much money on buying seasons of 19 and counting. So I'm really dedicated to that right now. So I had to go into my dougar hole so I could just scream about that to my myself. You know what? To Wendy. I need to start posting the pictures of like, of me just screaming out into the ether. And if there is one thing to show that Wendy is a Zabrowski, she is not changed by any Zabrowski screaming in the house. I'm just screaming at nobody about just whatever's going on in my brain. You should have heard me. I was screaming about Lion King yesterday because I've got things to say. And if you have no one to say them to, sometimes you
Starting point is 00:32:53 just got to say it. Yeah, that's what, that's, you know, podcasting is condition you well, just yell into the void. Am I going to have a mental breakdown? I'm not sure. But man, if there is a reason to really spin out of control, it's a combination of old dogs and watching 19 and counting. But you know what's not going to make me spin out of control? It actually kind of put a smile on my face.
Starting point is 00:33:18 Jeremy Renner's music career. Oh, no. Jackie, I'd rather watch old dogs. I listened to Jeremy Renner's single And Oh man Jeremy Redder just released a song called
Starting point is 00:33:35 Heaven Don't Have a Name It is on Spotify The thing is what I don't understand about the song Is that this is actually a cover Of the song that he has already sang on So someone else did the song first Okay
Starting point is 00:33:54 Uh huh The original was released It's by a man named Sam Feldd. I don't know how to say. It's felt, the word felt, but with a D in it. So the original was in 2008. He sang with this dude, but then he re-recorded it, made it worse, and then re-released it with just him singing the song.
Starting point is 00:34:12 And remind me, so a problem I have is that every celebrity gossip story about Jeremy Renner gets mixed up in a big bag with every celebrity gossip story about Jeremy Piven. and I just shove them all together into a single Jeremy. I know very different and I know that Jeremy Pivens like defining features that he ate too much sushi, which I think about every time I eat sushi, which is frequently. Ooh, that's rough to think about that. Yeah. Am I getting mercury poisoning like Jeremy Piven?
Starting point is 00:34:45 That's what I think to myself. Wait, Jeremy Biven got mercury poisoning? Well, I think it was that he tested positive for maybe some other drugs and he claimed it was because he ate too much sushi? Ha! It was something, it's something, I think the sushi was a drug shield. Oh, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha.
Starting point is 00:35:03 I mean, that's, well, at least you can say that to your OBGYN. Molly, blame the sushi. Then you could also say it was just a bunch of poppy seeds. You know, it was like, oh, it was the poppy seeds. I wasn't doing any kind of a loserogenic. Don't worry about me. But as a result, for years, I was picturing Jeremy Piven when people were talking about Jeremy Renner.
Starting point is 00:35:24 And then I saw an Avengers movie and I was like, oh, that guy. And so, but as a result, I know that people have a lot of thoughts and feelings about Jeremy Renner as a celebrity too. And I think that people don't like him, right? So people, I think are, but Jeremy Renner's been around for a really long time and it has dabbled in lots of different arenas. So this is actually not the first time that he is saying. So he played Hawkeye in all of the, the.
Starting point is 00:35:52 shoot-em-ups and the action ones. And he's the one with the arrows. So I remember that because I still kind of want to get into archery. That's still my thing that I would like to work into my life. So he was in the movie, Tag, which I did not see. I think it was another one that was like summer, like, oh, we've got comedians in a movie. Oh, we're smiling.
Starting point is 00:36:17 And at the end of Tag, while the credits ran, he sang a version of Crash Test Dumbies and in the end of the movie he brought in the other people that were in the movie as well and they sang it together so people thought it was a joke and then he also re-recorded it by himself as like a sad version of the song that's also on Spotify. There is just something about an actor
Starting point is 00:36:47 trying to have a singing career that makes me feel like they are in high school and they need to pick one and go with it. It's not to say that you can't be a triple threat or a double threat because they exist. But most of the people trying to be that aren't. And I think you have to, like you said, you have to devote your time to one strong, at least like he did the acting thing for a long time.
Starting point is 00:37:10 So originally apparently he wanted to be a singer first. And that on the view he had said that like, oh, I had been like tapped to be in a boy band back in the 90s, but I said no to it. Mm-hmm. So he's been, he was like, he was a musician before he was an actor, so he switched over to acting. And I think now he's pivoting a little bit to do more of like the singing thing.
Starting point is 00:37:34 I see. I don't know why it makes me so uncomfortable. It just feels, I mean, partially because the song is very bad, in my opinion. It's pretty bad. But it's not like every little step, John Travolta bad, where you can laugh at it. It's like, okay, it's not. the worst. It's just not something I would probably listen to.
Starting point is 00:37:56 Right. It's like normally bad. It's not like, oh, this is like viral bad. Yeah, it's just a bad song. It's like cold play. You know what I mean? It's like cold play now because I like old cold play. But like it's cold play now. Yes. Yeah. It's just like a shitty son
Starting point is 00:38:12 that would come on a Spotify mix where you'd be like skip this son. Yeah. And it's not like an arms wide open, which I mean, I'll always listen to Creed. We know that about a whole Jackie Zabrowski I'll hold that op on
Starting point is 00:38:26 there's something about the summertime that God I just can't get Creed Creed is just always in my head really that's your summertime jam inner monologue My jams Oh yeah baby
Starting point is 00:38:37 It's my jams It's what I was singing to myself When I was drinking my Rita in a can sitting in a floatie Over the weekend That really paints a very specific picture And it's an Americana-themed Floaty which also guys
Starting point is 00:38:51 it's almost national hot dog day. And as a self-imposed, southwestern regional, national hot dog ambassador of 2019, man, am I ready for this week of hot dogs? But Molly, did you see how big that hot dog was? 66 pound hot dog was there. Tried for the Gettys World Record.
Starting point is 00:39:16 It's Feltmans of Coney Island, which is where the first hot dog, was sold on Coney Island and so they made a 66 pound dog and then they sold it for $10 a slice and it had sauerkraut and mustard on it. You know, I'll tell you what I need. I'll tell you what I need less of.
Starting point is 00:39:36 Probably because you talk about hot dogs all the time. The algorithms are tagging me and all of those fucking posts about the Icebox hot dog cake where you're welcome. of gelatinous hot dog into a pie. And every time I go online, I see the video of this horrifying hot dog melt. And I needed to stop.
Starting point is 00:40:04 And I don't know how to make it stop because I think that, I don't know, I think that my algorithm can hear your voice coming through the computer or something. And it's like, you want to see this disgusting hot dog nightmare called the hot dog icebox cake? And at first I thought it was, and I actually watched like 20 seconds of it because I was like, Oh, it's just going to be stacks of hot dogs. No, no, no, no. It's like blended, gelatinized, reconstituted hot dog. And a hot dog is already reconstituted.
Starting point is 00:40:30 It's a little rough. It's a little rough to watch hot dogs in a blender that is now put into some sort of soup. That you put into the freezer and serve by the slice. It is, it's rough to watch. I'm not saying I wouldn't try it. I just wouldn't make it. That's the only difference. Really?
Starting point is 00:40:52 But maybe that means I should. That's why I'm self-imposed Southwestern regional hot dog ambassador of 2019 because, you know, maybe that's what separates me from being the real one. You got to take the risks. Yeah. I'm not taking enough risks. I have drank hot dog water at this point. I have used it as stock and other things.
Starting point is 00:41:13 I have. And I would eat a slice of the world's largest 66 pound hot dog. Which nice is that they sent, they donated the money that people's paid per slice to a, to the Headstrong project, which is a nonprofit focusing on mental health care for veterans. So wouldn't you do that, Molly? Partake in this disgusting object. It's for veterans. I mean, that's for veterans. That is nice, if not completely random of them. It's very random. It is nice, but I don't want a slice of hot dog that other people have been like touching and breathing on.
Starting point is 00:41:57 Yeah, but I bet it's all like cold. Yeah. A whole team of like a paramedic-like team of hot dog movers probably had to paw all over the beach. Oh, yeah. They're dog bearers, right? What do you call when they're holding a casket? Is that a pallbearer? It's a paw bearer, yep.
Starting point is 00:42:15 Yeah, I want to, oh, I want to be a dog bearer. And then I can I can have like a real dog under one arm and the hot dog under the other arm that I'm holding up and going yip, yip, as I walk. And I'll go, I'm the yip dog. I'm the up dog. Watch out for me to come. Because I'm the yip dog. I'm the up dog. Bring in lots of fun.
Starting point is 00:42:38 See, in general eating contests, we started a few years ago, John, my brother and I started a tradition of going down to Coney Island. just to have beers on the boardwalks, which is really nice. But it's like, you know, obviously a shit show on Fourth of July. But that's when the hot dog eating contest is. Oh, the hot dog eating contest. I've never actually seen it. Isn't it like crazy pack, though, so you can't even get close? Yeah, we didn't even really try to get close.
Starting point is 00:43:08 We just went to the great little boardwalk bar there and watched it on the TVs. It was like happening right outside, but we just watched it on the TVs. but you know I am somebody who has to eat like I'm real I'm real special and finicky about food like I have to eat small bites and I have to eat like really slowly and like I get a lot of anxiety
Starting point is 00:43:30 like being at other people's houses for dinner because like sometimes I'm not I don't finish my plate I'm not a member of the clean plate club I think it's cute how you eat though I think I've always thought it was cute I wish I ate I eat I hoover and so like
Starting point is 00:43:44 the idea of like having to eat something really fast is like a waking nightmare for me. And, you know, this specific idea of having to eat hot dogs very fast is like perhaps the worst thing I could have to eat. I don't hate hot dogs, but I just don't want to eat them very fast. And so the idea of the hot dog eating contest and also large food really upsets me. Like there's that fucking show, ginormous food that's just like, let's ruin a hamburger by by making it the size of pizza, you know.
Starting point is 00:44:14 And I don't, I don't want it. You know what? I'm glad you've brought that up. Have we ever talked about that before? I also, I think, am put off by really large food. I don't know if we've talked about it before, but it's a trend now. Again, in these fucking videos, because I do love food videos. But it's like make a slice, a single slice of pizza the size of a bed sheet. And it's like, it's horrifying.
Starting point is 00:44:36 There's no way that's going to taste good. No way. They can't put the love in it. There's not enough love you can fit into it. The ratios are all wrong. Like these burgers that are the same. the size of pizza trays. It's just the ratios of bread to meat.
Starting point is 00:44:50 It's, oh, and it's such a trend. This guy with his ginormous food, he was everywhere for a while. Wait, so this is like an actual show. It's called ginormous food. It's an actual show called ginormous food. Not to be mixed up with all the other, like, food dare shows, like man versus food. Gynormous food is just a guy who walks around to, like, diners that serve, like, the world's biggest, you know, mac and cheese or something.
Starting point is 00:45:14 and swims in a vat of mac and cheese and eats it. Oh, he's like a, but he's like this like cuty little ginger bear, though. He is a little ginger bear. I'd kiss on this little ginger bear, except not while eating big foods. Although the only thing that I will say, I do love a giant sub. That is something because it is normally cut, that is something that is acceptable to be cut into slices that are like acceptable eating side. A giant sub is perfectly fine because it makes sense in terms of the.
Starting point is 00:45:44 form. All you have to do is take a long piece of bread and make it longer. You're not fucking with the ratios. It's the ratios I'm worried about. Like if you gave me a sub that was like the height of, you know, a small child, I'd be like, no, I don't want that because there's not going to be enough bread or there's not going to be enough stuff or whatever. And so, yes, a giant sub is a delight.
Starting point is 00:46:04 And I have a friend who served giant subs at her wedding. And I thought it was great. But I'm sorry. I'm just staring at pictures. They have ginormous sushi. like a bunch of sushi shoved into like a huge like sleeping bag sized piece of seaweed. It's just, oh, that's not how it's supposed to be. It's like ruin a good food by turning it big.
Starting point is 00:46:30 That should be the name of the show. Well, you know what? I'm going to go in and say this is controversial opinion. I think it's why I like the flat burgers better because of the ratio of bread to meat because I never want something that has so much shit on it that I, I can't fit it into my mouth. And you're talking about anxieties. I have a small mouth, which is surprising because it seems like I would have a very large mouth,
Starting point is 00:46:52 but I don't. I have a very tiny mouth. And so if I can't fit my mouth around something going to put it in my mouth, I hurt the sides of my mouth. And then they get all red and I look like a clown or that I've been sucking on a fucking just like red old dinky donkey dick. You know what I mean? Like it's not good for me to stretch out like that. And I don't like big fat burgers because of it.
Starting point is 00:47:17 Yeah, whenever I see like a like a burger made on television, I'm like, no one could actually eat that. Like nobody actually wants a tall, fucking, you know, golf ball size or, you know, even better like baseball sized burger. Like that has been a bunch of a bunch of stuff on it and you're supposed to, no, you're supposed to smooosh it in your mouth? What are you supposed to do? Like, I don't know. I want food to be made with. considering the fact that people are going to pick it up and put it in their mouths. Yeah, and I also, like, you know how much I love my condies.
Starting point is 00:47:49 If there's too much meat in it, then it just slips. Like, the meat will slip out. And then I just eat condies and bread. And I just, I don't want just mayo and bread. If I wanted just mayo and bread, I'd eat it. Yes, which is a thing. I definitely have worked for people who have made their children's mayonnaise sandwiches. Were you ever a kid who ate mayonnaise sandwiches?
Starting point is 00:48:09 I'm not against it. No, I was big on just American cheese. on white bread. That is what I ate pretty much every day as a child because it's all I would eat. Truly an all American girl. All American girl. Summer smelling had me off. Summer smelling, I ain't had enough. I got some fur samples all right. Kiss some boys and then called it a night.
Starting point is 00:48:40 We all know scent is closely linked to memory. and I feel like when it comes to some of my favorite summer memories, that's definitely the case. I get downstairs locked and loaded every time I smell the dip of an oil stick, or the subtle hint of grease and sweat from a Johnny Appleseed working hard to make my engines go room. Create some special memories this summer with the perfect fragrance from Flur, P-H-L-U-R. Now, I can't wait until me and my Hepcat hit the ball.
Starting point is 00:49:13 boardwalk this summer. I honestly have never been complimented as much as I am on my Hepcat scent. And as I get my slink on down to Oops I kissed it again, Bill, I am confident that even though I may be a sweaty lady, I ain't no stinking stinking by those s'-e-flur makes great smelling clean and sustainable fragrances, and they last so long that even after I get Zucco down by the carousel, And after I get front bumper card by old sleazy Kinicky, I am still smelling like an untouchable. In all honesty, it really does last through all the sweating. Every fleur scent is for anyone. All that matters is what you like.
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Starting point is 00:51:14 That's nuts. Stitch Fix is an online personal styling service that delivers your favorite clothing, shoes, and accessories directly to you. You forget how much you hate being in the mall until you blinked, and you've been in the mall for three hours on your precious summer day off. Not snowmall, I've been to do it. Stitch Fix has the brands you know and love, plus exclusive styles you won't find elsewhere. And you ain't got to dope yourself up to make you feel like you're for you. 13 years old again just to get you to drag your butts to the mall. Now, after completing your style profile, your expert personal stylist will send you a handpicked box of items based on your style and preferences.
Starting point is 00:51:57 They even have men's and kids' boxes too. Now, I'm trying to pretend, y'all know about Fran Nassau's 2K19, but I'm trying to, like, really pull in the Franfine-esque beach goddess for summer, long flowy skirts made out of animal print, and Citibix is delivering. I want to do like a hybrid of Mortisha Adams meets Queen's nanny that never wants the sun to touch her pale skin but also doesn't want to leave the Cabana boys and her ice cold summer cocktails. You know what I mean? Stitchvix is killing it.
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Starting point is 00:53:11 slash page 7 and get an extra 25% off when you keep everything in your box. That's stitchfix.com slash page 7. Sitchfix.com slash page 7. And speaking about our all-Americans, baby, baby, I'm so proud of Lil Nas X. Oh, my God. At the end of Pride Month, he came out and, um, good for a fuck. I hate that. There's just so many people like, oh, did you just do this?
Starting point is 00:53:38 Because it's like Pride Month and that's like what you're, supposed you. And he's like, I, there was, who the fuck? Tweets that were deleted that essentially was like, um,
Starting point is 00:53:47 I've been number one on the billboard charts for 12 weeks now. So, no, that's not why I'm doing, doing this at all. You idiots. Pride month is a great time to come out. Like,
Starting point is 00:53:59 it's about being proud of who you are. What the fuck is wrong with people? Uh, yes. I'm so proud of him and just like, as someone again that I think that everyone in, like, everyone in the world just wants to like put in their pocket and be,
Starting point is 00:54:11 like please be safe we love you like I want to treat him the way I treat Wendy you know like yeah it's just like you are pure and you are wonderful and I'm just so fucking happy for you and keep killing it yeah he is such a sweet like when I when I saw the the movie music video I and I you know I had not I don't think I had actually like seen him before and I like saw him and I was like that little baby is little Nazex I love him so much and and his tweets are so good. One of my favorite tweets about him coming out was like, oh, I knew nobody who was straight could be that funny on Twitter. He is so fucking funny. And I, and I love that at first, like, it was like, no, you can't be country because you're black. And now he's black and also gay
Starting point is 00:54:58 and just fucking killing it. And I'm just like- And his outfits are fucking fire, man. I love, I want to, I wish I could pull off a fringe jacket like that. I really wish I could pull it off and I know that I can't. Yeah, I know. He really, he really rocks it. And I also love that he's just like a fucking icon already. And, you know, he's only been an icon for like 13 weeks, but he's an absolute icon.
Starting point is 00:55:22 And I love that it's just like, oh, also, by the way, not like a huge deal, but you should know I am also gay. And I'm just like, no, nobody can take this away from you, Lil Nas X. Well, and also it wasn't like a big publicity stunt either. He just tweeted it. That's not doing anything that's like, Out of the ordinary, especially when he was like, I thought everyone kind of knew already because of like what he had put on his album cover. But also that's really sweet.
Starting point is 00:55:47 And it would make sense because everyone on the internet can be insane sometimes of like, did you see that? It must mean this. Oh, he's got a building on it. It's a penis because it's a building. It's like an erect penis. He's a homosexual. You know, it's like, I feel like that is what people get into sometimes. And people have been trying to dissect the lyrics of what Old Tonaro is actually about.
Starting point is 00:56:07 He keeps just tweeting, you guys, it's about horace. It's just so good. It's about riding on horses. I'm so happy for him. I say mazel to you, baby, and we are proud of you. But it is, Molly, it's time for the list. Oh, God, I got to sing to you by myself. You have to sing to me.
Starting point is 00:56:29 By yourself. I'm not going to help you at all. Talk about anxiety is, who's on the list? Jackie. She's beautiful and she's pregnant. Got to have that list. You have to take the other part of it. We are doing famous celebrities.
Starting point is 00:56:45 You assumed we're American, but are not. No, this is appropriate for our All-American Day. You know, it's, it's, it is a rough time to be like, as someone that I really enjoy my American holidays. It is definitely a rough time to feel this way, but I still do because, man, we are on here and we are talking into the evening. and this is what we do for a living and that is great and I'm proud of us for
Starting point is 00:57:14 being able to do these things and I'm also proud of Natalie Portman for pulling off being an American for so long because she's actually was born in Israel. Yeah I always forget that she is Israeli. Yes she's Israeli and also yeah which you know good for you girl you fucking getting it with your hot Jewish husband man he's just so ooh he's so hot also Rachel McAdams from Canada. And they just had their birthday. Also, happy birthday, Canada. Oh, Canada had their birthday. I was like, it says here, Rachel McAdams was born on November
Starting point is 00:57:49 17th. No, yeah, yeah, yeah. She's a little, I think that's a scorpy baby, but no, no, Canada itself, happy birthday. I feel like sometimes, you know, you get overshadowed. Same week. It's the same as having a birthday right before Christmas, you know? Yeah, that's truly the Canada to the much, more loudmouthed sibling that is the United States. I was that loudmouthed sibling. I understand. Charlize their own, South Africa.
Starting point is 00:58:18 Now that I remember because it's just such a like, she's just. And her horrible upbringing. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know why I have like, Charlie's throne has come to represent South Africa to me, but I'm like, oh yeah, she's the beautiful South African actress. God, I just, man, I would give anything.
Starting point is 00:58:38 to be with her. And especially as she comes out and she says these kind of things all the time of like, yeah, I'm single, not because I want to be. If someone would ask me out, I will go on a date. She's just like publicly screaming to be like, I'm just a down-to-earth person. You want to go on a date with you, go on a date with me. Ask me out. I'd love to meet people. And Charlize, if you are listening, which I'm sure you are, I would love to go on a date with you, please. She is. a great couple. I think she's in my top five for women, for sure. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:59:11 She is just so talented and just so, so beautiful. And the fact that she's just a strong fucking badass bitch. And it's always, it's that story that always pops into my mind of when she was with Sean Penn. And she openly said that Sean Penn hit her, physically abused her twice. And she looked at him was like, you're never going to touch me ever again. and left and told everybody about it. Wow.
Starting point is 00:59:39 Which that is such a hard, scary thing to fucking do, especially as a celebrity. And I just, man, be in a relationship with me. And also, I never thought that I could be more attracted to Charlie's throne until I saw Mad Max Fury Road and then I was like, okay. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Also, I don't know if you've seen young adults.
Starting point is 01:00:06 but that is a movie that I just keep like slapping on every once in a while it is it's her and pat and oswald and it's essentially her having a bit of a mental like she's just having a bit of a time in her late 30s and it's something that I very much identify with is someone that you think that you have your life together but I think you're just living like a a child in an adult's body speaking of which I started flea back we don't have to talk about it but I did start it and I'm very proud of myself. Oh my God. I'm very proud of you and don't you love it so far?
Starting point is 01:00:37 I do. I love her a lot and she is so gorgeous and so funny. I know. And just so, like you just want to be, I want to be best friends with her because I was that person. Yeah. I am that person. Unfortunately,
Starting point is 01:00:52 I don't know if that's a good thing or not. Am Milakounis bought. She bought. Oh my God. Milakutus was born. Fought for Ukraine. She's bought. from the Ukraine. She is American. Now she bought from the Ukraine. Um, she wasn't bought. She was just
Starting point is 01:01:09 born there. Um, and that's kind of fun. It is fun. She also in my top five. Right. And honestly, Natalie Portman might be in there too. Yes. Natalie Portman is, oh, it's all start, it all stems from Garden State for me. We know Shania Twain is Canadian. You know, we will give her that kind of love my Shania Twain. You didn't skip Kim Ketrel though, did you? Because, you know, I always, you know, I always am doubt to talk about Kim Griselle and how she hates Sarah Jessica Parker. I didn't realize that she was born in Jolie old. Yeah, and does she doesn't, does she have, like,
Starting point is 01:01:44 does she have an accent? Or, like, I feel like she's one of those actresses where maybe she actually does have an accent and she just keeps it secret. I mean, I watched a lot of sex in the city for, like, back to back. And I think what it is is that she has very good enunciation. Yeah, she does have a kind of affectation.
Starting point is 01:02:01 Uh-huh. Yes. It's usually a sign of going to some sort of schooling or just to like, or just of growing up around a certain accent and then growing up out of it too. Like how I never fucking realized until I saw the fall that I never, after years of being an X-Files fan, I did not know that Julianne Anderson was British. Dude, right? I, that still, like, it's very silly when that kind of thing blows your mind. You're like, man, I just must have not seen any interviews with her. Well, apparently, and this apparently Julian Anderson is like one of those people where it is both, she is like, she both has a British accent and doesn't.
Starting point is 01:02:44 Like it is, she can like, I don't know if you call that code switching if you're, or if that is reserved for some others, you know, some like something more specific. But she can just do both. Like, like she's not doing a fake British accent, but she's not doing a fake American accent. Exactly. And also, I think that you would be very, I think you would really enjoy sex education. I watched it. Have you seen sex education?
Starting point is 01:03:09 Isn't it great? I love sex education. Isn't it great? It's so good. As someone that, like, I am nervous about raising children someday just because, like, I know I was a really bad teenager. I did everything under the sun. I never got caught for anything.
Starting point is 01:03:25 And I'm so scared of having a child just being like, I know what you do. I know what you're saying. Yeah, you're saying you're doing this, but are you doing this? Because I'm worried that I would be just so over the top. But watching her in it, I know it's a television show. I was like, okay, so that is a way, not always a healthy way,
Starting point is 01:03:44 but that is a way to deal with raising teenagers because she's a sex therapist in it and that practices out of her home in sex education. It's a great show. It's so fucking good. I love that show. And that's like, that's a great example of like, like, that is a show that portrays teenagers so well. They're like with such,
Starting point is 01:04:04 like they're so funny and like they're really fucking smart. And like there's like an abortion episode in it that's so fucking good. And the way that it deals with like queerness is so fucking good. It's just that show is so, so good. And I love the way that they portray like the way that they portray teens and how teens can like be really good at hurting each other. But also can be really good at like standing up for each other. and like it's just oh that show is incredible.
Starting point is 01:04:30 Yes, this is so good. Well, I think we got to, we just got to keep sword on best because guys, this week, I did blind items. I can't see them. You can't see them because I found him. I did it.
Starting point is 01:04:47 All I had to do was ask for the appropriate links to look at it. And that's all you got to do. And I don't know why I wasn't doing it before. Let's start it out. See, this is a story. that we, oh, I guess,
Starting point is 01:04:59 see, that's my problem is I'm very bad at keeping secrets. All right. Despite what the PR releases say about the casting of the villainous role
Starting point is 01:05:09 in that remake of the animated classic movie, the producers are still gunning for that legendary entertainer and celeb spawn for the part. Well, you got to be talking about Ursula, right?
Starting point is 01:05:21 Talking about Ursula. So this is an article that we didn't get to today because they're doing a, they're doing a live action movie of The Little Mermaid. And which I think is going to be fun, even though my hater era certainly did envelop The Little Mermaid.
Starting point is 01:05:37 And there's a lot of songs in The Little Mermaid that I do not love, specifically the What About the Fucking Fork? That's like, look at this stuff. Isn't it neat? Don't get me started. My collections complete. Wouldn't you think I'm a girl? See, Little Mermaid was always like my Disney movie.
Starting point is 01:05:56 Yeah. I loved a little mermaid. Yeah. And so I do think that a live action one will be a lot of fun. And so the controversy is that Melissa McCarthy got cast and Lizzo wanted it to be her. And Lizzo was open. Like she did a whole, which will look up the Instagram video of Lizzo dressed up like Ursula and sang into her Instagram story. And I just love Lizzo so fucking much.
Starting point is 01:06:21 Yeah. I think they would both be fantastic. But are we talking about the third person now? Talking about an indifferent person. So technically Melissa McCarthy has not been cast yet. Okay. It is still just talks. Okay.
Starting point is 01:06:33 All right. And so a celebrity spawn. So they want someone else. Old school. Old school. Eliza Manelli. Damn girl. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:06:44 Oh my God. She would be perfect too, though. Dude, see, that's the thing. Is that I know that she's probably, since it is a live action remake, she's probably too old for it, unfortunately. I think that they could do wonders on her. And it's not even that that she's too old. I think that she just may have had too many strokes,
Starting point is 01:07:02 which is a horrible thing to say. But I think that she might not be able to pull it off. But I would still love to see her fucking drive. She would be fucking perfect. All three of them would be perfect. Wow, this is like being a director of a middle school play and not being sure who to cast because all three of them would just fucking kill it. And that's the thing.
Starting point is 01:07:23 I mean, I want to be Ursula. That is still my number one thing in life. Yes, you would also kill it. Love. Love to play Ursula. And I don't know if I'm too familiar with Melissa McCarthy singing as much as I love Melissa McCarthy. I get very envious a lot of times because I would like to be her and have her career. But I'm also very excited because Lynn Manuel Miranda is writing new songs for the live action.
Starting point is 01:07:52 And they're talking about Aquafina playing Scuddle. and Jacob Tremblay playing flounder, which Aquafina I've just recently leaned into. And she's amazing. Yeah, same. I didn't know that I loved Aquafina until seeing crazy rich Asians, and then I fucking fell in love with Aquafita. Her music is so much fucking fun,
Starting point is 01:08:13 and I would totally be down for her to play Scuddle. So I'm definitely intrigued by the project. I would love any one of those. I don't think that Lizzo is going to get Ursula. But Mazel of Muslim McCarthy does it with you, girl. I support you. Yeah, yeah. I think honestly all outcomes here point to positive.
Starting point is 01:08:33 Right. All right, we got another blind item. The mystery man with the checkbook has not shown up yet. So it's uncertain how much longer the former actress turned escort will be allowed to record. The owner of the studio has better options for a sex. Whoa. Sorry, it does say that. The owner of the studio has better options for a sex in exchange for recording time with the former actress.
Starting point is 01:09:02 Lilo? Lilo's in the studio, baby, and Daddy hasn't shown up with the checkbook yet. Isn't that just a disgusting blind item? Honestly, every blind item about Lilo, I think I just try to not fully pay attention because it's just rough. And I know you've watched her celebrity club show, but I just can't look. Yeah, the Lindsay Loanne Beach Club is canceled on Forch. It is canceled, which is honestly, it's kind of fine. There wasn't ever, they got canceled because it wasn't enough drama and really nothing
Starting point is 01:09:40 was happening in the show. Yeah, yeah. It's, I just, you know, I think I wish nothing but the best for Lilo, except for that time that she was really racist to that person on the street. You know, I just don't really know how to engage with Lilo right now. Yeah, she's got some rough politics. Now, this one is kind of interesting. So, this permanent A-minus list, mostly movie actor, who is an Academy Award winner,
Starting point is 01:10:07 says he once had a one-night stand with one of his co-stars, who is also permanently A-minus list, and an Academy Award winner. He says that after the one-night stand, he didn't want a second. at night, and our actress confronted him about it and said she was going to put a hex on him. The actor, who was highly superstitious, didn't believe her. Then, for the next seven months, he couldn't get an erection. He reached out to the actress and apologized, and the next day, he could perform again. Ask the actress about it, and she doesn't say there was a hex.
Starting point is 01:10:47 What in the fuck? All right. They were co-stars in a big Oscar movie. I have a, is it Leo and Kate? It's not. Okay, because that's, I started thinking about while you were still talking about and then I couldn't think about anything else. Okay.
Starting point is 01:11:04 Good guess. So he was another, like, big part of, he was the man in a big part of another celebrity couple. That's crazy. And she was just in. This might be too much. She was just in John Wick three. Oh, unfortunately, I don't know much about John Wick three.
Starting point is 01:11:25 Yeah, okay. He is he Brad Pitt? He's not Brad Pitt. He's another spindly old man. Who's part of a celebrity couple. That is definitely weird. Not Jeff Goldblum is spindly. Who's a spindly?
Starting point is 01:11:42 Who is part of a celebrity couple who's a spindly old man who's weird? He didn't have any kids with the wife, but she definitely has a lot more kids now. Where am I? What film did they star in? What era of film are we talking about? So we're talking, I think it was late 90s, maybe early 2000s, and they had a very uncomfortable sex scene in it. Okay, wait, so is the woman Hallie Berry? The woman is Hallie Berry.
Starting point is 01:12:14 And she won the awesome. For Monsters Ball? For Monsters Ball. Oh, and it's so it's, what's his name? Creepy Blood Guy. Billy Bob Thornton. Thank you. Billy Bob Thornton didn't get an erection for seven months.
Starting point is 01:12:34 Because Hallie Berry put a hex on him. I love that the blind item says he's very suspicious because that part totally checks out. But I wouldn't. That's a thing. I wouldn't exactly picture Hallie Barry as being a witch type, but maybe she's a witch. but maybe she is and maybe you know what I think that we could blame even though I think gothica was after that but I would blame gothica I think that gothic is a movie I would blame because of it I'm sorry was I did I hold you on for too long
Starting point is 01:13:01 I don't know I'm new to blind items no no that was good I was I was I was just what I think of a celebrity couple I don't think about but but you're you gave really good hints in retrospect Billy Bob Thornton and Angelina Jolie she now has way more kids those were actually very very good hints I was just I was I was not thinking it well especially because believe me I've been on your side before I know how these things work once you get one in your head.
Starting point is 01:13:26 Yeah. You can't change your mind. Oh, my God. It's so fucking funny to think of Billy Bob Thornt not getting an erection for seven months and thinking it's because Hallie Berry put a spell on him. Ha ha ha ha ha. I mean, I think it's pretty,
Starting point is 01:13:44 I think it's pretty great. Barely next day, was able to get an erection, so. Whatever she was doing, it worked. Thank you guys so much for joining us on our girls app this week. This was great.
Starting point is 01:13:55 I had a lot of fun. Thank you for letting me take you down into my brain sphere. Yeah, thank you for taking me, but I'm not going to watch old dogs. I don't recommend it. As long as you watch the music video, I think that's all that we really need in here to get out of old dogs. We don't need to give them anything else. It is on, I think I watched it on the Showtime app for free because I looked it up because I have to pay for it, I will not watch it.
Starting point is 01:14:23 That was my only, I will not. pay for it. Uh-huh. That's a good line to draw. You know, but when you're staying with Mumsy and Pupsie, Mumsy got all the channels in the world. I'm hanging out of my parents. It's great. We love you guys so much. Have a wonderful Fourth of July, and we will be here with you with Holden next week. Please hit up our Patreon. It's patreon.com slash page seven podcast. I'm going to post up the video in case you're having a hard time finding it because you need it in your life. And I didn't even get to talk about Toy Story 4
Starting point is 01:15:01 because I definitely watched that yesterday and I cried, cried, cried, cried, cried, cried, cried, cried, cried, cried, and anyone that says that's not as good as the other ones can go get kissed. So it's still a positive message. Go get kissed and then come back and watch it again and maybe you'll like it more.
Starting point is 01:15:16 I'll definitely talk about that with you next week. I haven't seen it, but I want to hear about it. So good. I love you guys. I'll talk to you next week. Bye. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors, you can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.

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