Page 7 - Episode 311: Goopsommar

Episode Date: July 12, 2019

Jackie, Holden and Natalie gab about joining Goop's cult, the bottle cap challenge, and Mariah Carey drama.    Join us on our PLL binge watch! Patreon supporters help us make Page 7, join today!  �� Right now, PAGE7 listeners get 25% off a Calm Premium subscription at http://calm.com/page7 Snowe is offering our listeners $30 off your first purchase of $150 or more when you go to http://SnoweHome.com/PAGE7 For 20% off your first purchase, visit http://nativedeodorant.com and use promo code PAGE7 during checkout! Go to http://stamps.com, click on the Microphone at the top of the homepage, and use code PAGE7 to claim your special offer today!   Upbeat Forever, Your Call Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/--    Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

One, two, three, four, five, everybody in the car. Come on, let's ride. Oh, this is the wrong one. God damn it. Why did he say it's from the Brats movie? What? No, I was like, a little bit of mini in my life. A little bit of Mickey by her side.

A little bit of Donald's, all I need. A little bit of daisies, what I see. A little bit of Pluto in the sun. Are we talking about fucking cartoon characters right now? A little bit of good. Luffy everyone. A little bit of him makes life so fun. Okay, so that is definitely a sex song,

and you're just applying it to cartoon characters, which just makes me it sound like you're trying to fuck a bunch of different, very innocent cartoon characters. Very interesting observation. Welcome to page seven. My name is Jackie Zabrowski. I'll go second. My name is Holden McNeely,

and I am so serious. You're very serious is going to be a serious only episode today. Thank you very much. Natalie Jean. Are we doing the hyphen? Do we say the hyphen? Uh, no. Okay.

Natalie misses Natalie Jean. Does that work? I think that's more confusing. Is that more confusing? How about how about Janowski? Ooh, Geneowski. Janowski. Janowski.

Yeah. I mean, it does sound like you are. I sound like a hockey player. Oh, but that's sexy. Because it's not the Natalie from yesterday. It's the Natalie that is right, Janowski. Genowski.

Well, a man gave me that name, so I have to take it now. Right, Genowski. Miss Natalie Jean. She is my sister from another mister. Also gross. I'm really, everything is gross today. Who was that Mr. fucking Bugs Bunny, you psycho?

You sick sex freak. I heard, so I did an Insta story about this. Because I heard this version. of Mambo number five when I was at a glow in the dark, um, Western themed mini golf place. And I was like, hold us on a second.

Is he saying, is he saying Disney names right now? Is he saying he wants to, on his penis, do a pinwheel of all of the different Disney characters? You gotta get that Disney money, you know? I guess.

And Disney said, we'll give you more money if you switch all the characters. What have you put? Okay. And he said, one more time. And I posted about it. Apparently, everybody knows about this version of it. You know this?

Yeah, because where I grew up dancing, there was a little girl's dance to this song. So that adds an extra level of upsetness. Natalie, I have a dancer question for you. What is the most annoying song you've had to do a dance piece to? From even back in the day? I can answer that easily And actually, I don't know if you guys

will know the song because I thought everybody knew it but Henry had never heard of it Ooh, what is it? It's a song called Send me on my way By the band Send me on my way Oh, it's not Oh, it's not that

Oh no, it's not that It's not rusted roots Yes, it is roasted room It is rusted room. Oh, I'm wet My brother had that My brother had that album and he was really into it with his hip necklace I had him necklace too, so I'm not like...

Yeah, you can't. But yeah, even back then I was like, I think this is annoying. Yeah. Oh, it was. And then I got to listen to it, you know, 20 times a week for three months. I know I've said this on here before, but I just need to reiterate. Have you seen the music video for that song? No.

They kill a boy in it. What? And they dress in Native American wear. And they, um, they, they like, flute their way through the desert and then in the end I think of the boy they sacrifice him off of some sort of cliff top and then he becomes an angel. In Midsummer? I mean a little.

That makes me like them a little more now. I think but I don't know why they did it or why it was just like did they kill that boy? I think like in Midsummer he just wanted to die. You know to sometimes well we have no spoiler no spoilers no spoilers. Spoiler alert that means nothing. to me. I haven't seen the movie yet. Honestly, there is absolutely no spoilers for it because it's just you, it is an

experience amongst itself. It is. It's like a fever dream, right? A bit. It's like, it's so hard for me now in my, like, and now that I'm steeped deep in my 30s, you know, to like choose elect on a Friday night to go be stressed out.

You just need, you need to either get high or have a couple drinks and it's a really fun time because the movie is awesome. The directors are fantastic. It's really fun. There's funny parts. It's just he will also take you on a journey. It's a journey.

Visual. Upsetness. Exstice. Like upset ecstasy. Or upsetness. It's upsetstasy is what it is. Two sides of the same coin, Holden. I mean, honestly, it's like, have you ever tripped fucking nuts before?

Obset's to see. That is what it is. Tripping nuts is obsextacy. Yes. So you're. You're welcome. I just going a new phrase and I can't believe I've never said it before. That's really good, Jackie. But also, you want to up your up-sexistee?

Is it sassap-a-sie? You should watch midsummer while in the middle of it, there's an earthquake in Los Angeles. Yes, that occurred for Jackie and I. Got Daddy and I and Henry and Natalie also referred to as Mumsy and Pupsie. We all went to go see Meadsummer. And we didn't know if it was just like, oh, the movie's like affecting us this much. Or, oh, is the dude behind it? It's just like really pissed off and just shake in the back of our chair.

No, it was a pretty bad earthquake. It was also as they were walking to like a ritualistic circle for the first time in the movie. And then an earthquake happened. It was very serious. Like, I think that really amplified how terrifying the 7.1 earthquake was. on top of the fact that I'm new here and it's all very scary where do you go?

There's nowhere to get away from the earthquake I am not new here and I've never experienced anything like that so we were all very scared then we got three and within a 36 hour period yeah so that's why we all set down as a family because Natalie and Jeff know a lot more

about earthquakes than Henry and I do and then they answered all of our questions really Jeff was the excellent expert. Yes. He's, you know, he knew all but he knew where to go. He knows all the things, and I'm just like, that's great. If anything happens, I'm just going to koala onto him. Be like, take me, take me

to safety, baby, and ride him into the sunset. That's your emergency, and I think that that's really good. Thank you. That's really nice. You have that. I think I'll just cover myself in gasoline and set myself on fire. I think that's fine. I think that's all the wrong about. Nothing can get to me. No, no no earthquake can capture me.

I'll be surrounded by a protective layer of flame. A fire? I don't know, man. I don't know if that's a good idea. I mean, you don't have to worry about emergencies anymore if you set yourself on fire. That's true. You are the emergency. And that's the thing.

You are the emergency. Good boy. I'll walk through the mall screaming, I am an emergency. I am an emergency. Let's just see what happens. You know what I don't know. Oh, man. I wish I could make my dreams come true.

You know where you can make your dreams come true? Is that's a segue alert. E'all. E'all. Is that a donkey noise or an emergency sound? I think it's, look, I'll be. I'm talking the In-Goop Health Summit. In-goop health.

I will. I'm going to throw it out there. The phrase in-goop health is pretty great. I guess that depends on your definition of great. But Gwyneth Paltrow, the one in- only the goddess quote unquote if you will or they also refer the goopies referred to her

as just GP took her in Goop Health Summit which is essentially just a weekend to shill her products and give different workshops she took it from L.A. to London this weekend and charging a whopping

thousand euros per day pass that is completely insane just to go pay for more stuff, unbelievable. It is, it's really, it's, it's, they're referring to her as a charlatan,

they're referring to her as an extortionist. A fucking extortionist. Yes, snake oil salesman. I like that one. Can I give my favorite quote from the article? Can I say it? Please. Please. One attendee told us, Gwyneth acts like she's a health goddess,

but actually she's a pretentious, greedy extortionist. She has a ton, she had a ton of security, she was unapproachable, she did the minimum, a few fires side chats with Twiggy and Penelope Cruz, then she put on her Birkenstocks and snuck out. I was a huge fan of Gwyneth. Now I feel like I have lost my faith in God. Ew.

I also clip that from the article. That is on you all the way. So Jackie, this was one of my blind items that you have snuck for me. And probably my favorite one. I, you know, I don't know if I've been on this podcast when Goop Discussions has happened. Oh, you're new. I know plenty of it has happened, right? Yes.

And apparently my blind item was that she's apparently employing almost exclusively current and former timeshare salespeople to sell her products, which is if you don't know anything about timeshares, it is a total racket. The salespeople should all be fucking locked away in jail. That's not true. I mean, there are actual, like, organizations that try to help people who've invested in timeshares get their lives back. Yes. It's not the salespeople that are the problem, though. It is definitely the owners of the companies that are the problem, because they're just making their money.

And might I recommend a great movie that involves that a little bit? It's called The Queen of Versailles. It's about a woman trying to build the biggest house ever. Me loves, me loves. And she's married to this guy who's like this timeshare CEO dirtbag, and then the housing crisis happens, and she loses everything, and it's my favorite. That sounds fun. movie ever.

I actually, a little sidebar on this. I wanted to see if you guys had heard this article, or read this article, I guess. One of the Goop representatives recently just got busted. She had a quote-unquote surprise engagement on her Instagram that was like her partner did this like scavenger hunt and it was this thing people were freaking out about. It was days of hours and hours of different activities to find her fucking engagement ring. Yeah. And then it was leaked that her and her husband had pitched the engagement to brands before the event.

And then she acted out the surprise on Instagram. Yay! Yeah! And she was a GOOP representative. That's very fun. That is insane. Yeah, but very on brand for GOOP. It really is honestly the whole thing when it comes down to that kind of stuff too.

I also recently saw this is just another side. sidebar, it was like an ice cream store owner that's like, if an influencer comes in here and says, I'm an influencer, so I should probably get this for free. He's like, no, they pay double. Because it's true. Anyone that's going out and doing that kind of thing of like, but if you gave it to me for free, I would say, it's like, no, just get your fucking shit and talk about the things you like, I guess. Also, there's no real definition of influencer. You can just say I'm on the internet. Yes.

Like, what does that mean? You're an influencer. There's so many people. Yes, everyone's on the internet. That's just how it goes. Yes. I also, like, probably a million people have 50,000 followers on Instagram. Like, what doesn't mean anything?

It doesn't mean anything anymore. I'd love to see those numbers, actually, Natalie. You bring up a good point. There should be a definitive X amount of followers on XYZ social platforms for you to technically be called an influencer. because right now it is just thrown around. So willy-nilly. By the way, I love Old Spice deodorant.

Oh, God, I forgot. Yeah, yeah. His testicles were just paid for by Old Spice. We got to get Holden's Old Spice. Yeah, he's... He needs it. It's almost too much. Get Rotten Bear beard oil.

If you'd like some oil for your fucking stupid beard. Do you want to smell rotten? You want to smell like a bunch of fucking eggs? Get this stupid beer oil. Can you use beard oil on your pubs or, like, your off? arm hair? Would that... No. I didn't even think about that. I feel like you could.

Actually, you're here right now. I was talking to Henry about this. You don't like beard oil, Natalie. I don't like strong scents. I don't like strong colognes, anything like that. I don't even wear perfume. Really? Yeah.

You're like the opposite of Lexi. Lexi is like always trying to put scents on me. I mean, I am stinky, whatever, right? But she's always trying to cove shroud me and these smells. Honestly, I've known a lot of stinky individuals, and I would never say you're Yeah, I don't think you smell. Oh, thank you. She used to work at the perfume counter of a Bloomingdale.

See, that's my nightmare job. That's my nightmare job. Yeah. I mean, she made it sound like it was a not fun. No. Yeah. But I think she's a little more into that kind of. She likes different scents and things.

And for me, I'm just kind of like, whatever. I'm just like a dumb, stupid dog boy. Hold it. I like sense, okay? Don't put that on me. Yeah, don't take away her scenthead chip. I don't like shit that smells, has like a real. alcoholic smell or anything that's like...

Okay. Yeah, like, a lot of times if I'm in an Uber and somebody, like the driver's wearing a really strong clone, like I get sick. Oh, my God. When you're trapped in there too. Dude, that is its own beast, though, when they go way too hard with the fucking air fresheners and the cologne and so... What is the thing?

My dad was like this, too. People... This is a PSA for people, especially guys. I feel like I find this more calm with guys. Just because you can't smell the clone you've been wearing every day doesn't mean we all can't smell it 18 times over. because of how much you keep putting on in order to smell it.

I eat acts body spray, you mean? Because ax body spray, you know what the thing is, though? Is that I would still kiss on someone that had the ex body spray, but then you know when you, like, kiss on someone and you can taste, taste the ax body spray in your mouth as you kiss on them?

Absolutely not. Ew! I didn't like it. I mean, I was just like, well, I want the kiss part. I don't want the ax part, but you know? Yeah, see, and this is, okay. Biggers can be choosers. This really plays into the goop shit and how I

I like all of the stuff I like crunchy shit I like crystals I like organic smells I fucking do yoga The crystal for deodoran crystals does a little bit upset me as someone that worked in a very hot bakery

with a lot of hipsters for a long time and they're like but I used me crystal I appreciate your crystal but we are very close to each other That's the problem with this shit which is, I know a lot of this stuff is fake, and sometimes it's nice and it's fun, because it costs, if I'm buying a crystal,

it costs me $7 at a store. Yes. I like all this shit, but she's taking stuff that should be cheap or free and marketing it to the 1% white people and going like, I'm helping you become one with nature and feel happy inside.

It's like, no, you're the worst, you're doing the worst thing. You're doing the things that make people feel the worse. And can I add on to that too? There is something, and is this, okay, I'm gonna go and throw it out there. Is Jackie sent us an article that was like kind of the gave details of what happens at these conventions? And it did sort of trigger me, so I'm gonna talk about this a little bit. We did it trigger you because I was triggered.

I think it sucked me in. Oh, okay, but you say it first. You say it first. Okay, so for me, I feel like, I, I'm very, you know, I'm very, I'm very cynical and skeptical and very, but whatever. I kind of I can bite on that stuff right with the crystals and then this and that and I'm just like oh whatever right and my my lady is into a lot of like what I guess I would term is floofy do things but I think it's good it works for you it works for you but there's a little there's a little something to like when every it's like you have to be so precious with yourself and pamper yours and I'm the

kind of person like motherfucker you need to wake up every day and run 10 miles and fucking like bust your ass to get ahead in this world and like do well in this world you need to like suffer the fucking life that is around you, not just be like, oh, every second of the day we need to check in with our fucking aura and fucking put a crystal under our chin. You know what? America!

I don't know. I'm done. I agree. I do think that you need to suffer and see suffering. And you know what would make a lot of those women feel better is not spending $8,000 on a weekend of them talking about how precious they are. Yes. Go do something else with your fucking money. It's gross.

But it is insane that even just reading this quote from Goop's chief content officer, that this is where I was just like, oh my God, I finally, I get it. Oh, yeah. I hope so. I would, I would, I would ask to be called that. That sounds like some 1984 shit. That's like Orwellian. It is.

Especially when you listen to this quote, some women come to us saying, I'm feeling crappy or bloated. I'm having a dysfunctional relationship with my mother. they want to know why. Against our better instincts, we've been told that all these things that we experience aren't real. And Goop represents that they are.

Your intuition is real. We're a point validation for women who are tired of being dismissed. And the thing is, I read it. I read this. And I was just like, at first I was like, oh my gosh, bullshit,

but also, it's such a, cult that by the end of me reading this court, I was like, you're right, I am tired of being dismissed. Yeah. You're right. You're right. You're right. People do tell me how I feel. Is it right? Don't do this. This is what cults do. They reach,

they needle into things that are accurate and true and then they use that to manipulate you into either giving all your money to them or making you have sex with a gross old man. Oh, but does he have money? Or sucking on the semen hose where they put all the semen in the

and they make you drink it all to make a baby out of your mouth. Yeah, like... I've been there, Natalie. Like, suckle it like a hamster has the little water tube. You just suck all the semen out of the... I'll do it. I'll do it if I have to. All right.

Quit a let... Jackie, for the 11th day of the row in a row, quit elect to yourself as semen tube... Ambassadors. Someone else needs to drink the semen today because she's done it every day with a smile. I need it. Why are you dismissal?

Missing me. Give me the tube. I want the tube. You're not calm, but that's okay. You're gonna make it anyway. Open your app. Plug up those ears. We're gonna get you right to sleep. All right, I'm not Whitney Houston. And I don't know if you guys could tell, but I have a pretty rough time turning off this whole noggin of never. ever-ending ideas every dang night. It's like never-ending story up in here, but I never get to be a Trey U, and every night I find myself stuck in the nothing art tax style

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What I want is I want Goop Mid-Summer. Where is that? Oh my God. It's not that far off. It is very weird. Yeah. Yeah, I'm being triggered by this

because it reminds me of me Mead summer. Me too, I don't know if you guys know all the details about the nexium cults, but it also rings very similar to that. And in that cult, they literally, uh, physically hold the women down and they burn the dude's initials into their vagina, basically. Like, like a soldering iron. Like Kelsey Grammer. Remember?

What? He has a PDT. Maybe I hear the blue. Who's a calling Taw salad and vagina? No. That is not a reference that I understand. No, he has an anti-cheating tattoo on his crotch. Oh, that's right.

Okay, okay, yes. That his wife asked him to put on because Camille Grammer was just like, well, you keep cheating on me. Oh, God, what does it say? At least it's on his dick and not. Yeah, it's not on hers. Please tell me it says Toss salad and scrambled eggs. I can't cheat on my wife anymore.

As it should. Oh, where is it? Well, while you look for that, I just want to give this quote from Gwyneth Paltrow that actually, actually triggered me the most. I'm still deeply flawed. I still sometimes smoke a cigarette at a party. Fuck off.

Deeply flawed. That is a cult member. It's a cult leader's like, that's an M.O. That is ground zero tight X, middle of the world, whatever. It's the thing that is such a triggering point. for like what a cult leader would say to relate to go like and they they say that in the article they go oh my god this makes her so relianable yes the fact that she crouches down and like she sat on the floor

can you believe it oh she just laid on she gave someone her chair i can't believe quaint of that she's just leg us and at the same time if she got some land in like uh Oregon or whatever and and started having like a weird fuck-fuck self-healing cults? I'd go to it. I would kind of be all about it. I'd go to it. I will definitely go to it. Also, by the way, it was Kelsey Grammer's new wife after Camille Grammer because he cheated on Camille Grammer with this woman.

She got his name tattooed over his penis. The Colin again. That is, I mean, it's an issue. It's an issue. But also, that's a thing, too. He's watching midsummer is that, yeah, I'd totally go to it. I would totally do that. See, I get the appeal, and Henry said the same thing.

I will not go to a commune in the middle of the forest because you are asking for this to happen. Yes. You have to be, like, and I'm not going to spoil it, but you could say that maybe some of those characters wanted this fate. I mean, sometimes you want to just be out in the middle of nowhere. I get it. I want to wear a flower crown.

When am I ever in an existence that I, it's like, when do I get to wear flower crown? I actually made, I said on Twitter, that is something I've discovered that is a joy of mine in horror movies is because they do it in the Wickerman remake. They do it in sharp objects and they do it here where it's like dainty women and white frocks wearing flowers in the hair just mutilating people. Yeah, I love that. I love that. I like it. I want to be that. I want to be it. See, for me, it's not that I would want to go if there was the Goop Samar.

But if Goop Samar happened. Oh, Goop Salma. I would 100% be like, crossing my fingers waiting for the Netflix documentary about it, like keeping up with the news about it every two seconds. You know what I mean? Just from afar, I would admire it happening and therefore I'd be secretly into it.

I'm just worried about one day. I mean, I don't even have to worry about it right now. But one day, I might have the money to get all, like, some of the dumb things. But that's what I think the problem is with that with a lot of the women who go to it, is that they have a lot of money and they don't have any,

creativity of where to put it or what to do with it. But there are so many other things you could use that money for. Just so many. Well, it's the same thing when I got the email about Uber Copter. Did you guys get the email about Uber Copter? You texted me and I feel a little bit insulted that I didn't. Oh, you didn't? Oh, well, I guess I'm in, you know, I. Are you an influencer? Maybe I'm a bit of the upper echelon. Are you a house? Can you be a helicopter influence? Yeah, I'm a copty girl. Oh, better watch out chop chop chop chop chop chopty girls coming through uh i don't know i've never been a helicopter obviously i don't know anything about it but apparently they just started doing the uh you could take a copter from manhattan to jfk instead of taking a car it seems like that's going to be a lot of

copter traffic i don't want to be in a fast food version of a copter i mean especially because there's been several pretty tragic helicopter crashes in new york in the last couple years Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. A lot of people are against this happening. Really? Well, that makes a lot of sense. You know, it does seem a bit frightening. It seems like I'd, you know, I don't even know if I even at this point want to ride in a helicopter after exactly those incidents you're talking about, Natalie. One thing I did really love about when I looked this up, they're also offering Uber comfort. You know what that means? Uber comfort means that cabbies don't talk. That's right. No talking Uber's. And that is my favorite thing ever.

I'm talking Uber's now. If you ever leave New York, like in New York, maybe once every 10, maybe 20 cabs, the cabby actually wants to talk to you. Because they are New York cab drivers. They know the rules. But if you go anywhere else, anywhere else in the country and you take an Uber, get ready to tell your life, motherfucking story, and it drives me nuts. It's like because all these new, they're like new to cab driving.

And they think it's like a novelty that these random strangers are getting in the car and they just want to, like, shoot the shit the whole, you know what I mean? And it's just like, I don't want to talk to you. Well, also, yeah, Lyft began with that premise going, like, we're the ones who, it's friendly, and you're going to make friends in the car, and then everybody immediately hated it. And so they're not like that anymore, but is that, so wait, Uber Comfort is a real thing? Yes.

Oh, yes. Yeah, they're starting to do that because then you can also, like, choose the temperature of your car and, like, and you, it's just all those kind of things. I don't really care as much. I'll talk to anyone anytime. Yeah, you're really good at talking to teenagers. I don't mind being the one to talk, so I'm down. I was talking to my buddy comedian Greg Stone, shout-outs to the rad dude cast.

And he was telling me one time he was at one of the cabs were at the cab. He was like, oh, what do you do? And he was like, oh, I'm a comedian. He was like, oh, you know, like, do it, tell me a joke. And he literally started doing his entire act in the cab. See, that's one. He went to his whole act and the guy was like laughing his ass. I mean, he literally, he was like, all right, fuck you.

I wonder you're a joke and did his full act for the guy on the entire camera. See, that's funny, because I told you, I think I've told you both about the time that my lift driver was just like, oh, you, you do comedy and stuff. Can I show you my son's audition tapes? And I was in the back of the car and he was just going through all of the different monologues that his seven-year-old was doing for auditions. And then it was just like, oh, wow, the ball went far. Yes, I'm America's greatest ball player. Not to say that there aren't kid actors that can do it very well. This was not one of them.

And I had to watch them for 22 minutes. I was going to say that. Oh, that's really sweet. But if the kid's that young, that's a stage dad. It's a stage dad trying to see if I knew anyone that could get them into something. And I don't like that stuff. It's like we've been seeing so many great movies as of late. Oh, also, I mean, we did this on our mini episode for the Patreon.

I went into a deep conversation about how I felt about Child's Play 2. There's another great example of kids being amazing actors. Absolutely. Chucky is one of the best child actors that ever seen in my entire life. Absolutely amazing. Where did they find that boy? You are silly. And also, how did they get Mark Hamill to look so young?

Was it the same boy that was in the first one? No Okay I met that first boy We both worked a horror convention Oh really Was he nice He was nice

Uh oh Uh oh With that He tried to grab Natalie Natalie said No no no He didn't do touchies But he was definitely

He was definitely a wild And crazy guy Oh like a Did he have the hat on Wild and crazy guy Like a bit of a candy nose Maybe we could say I would say

other direction. Ooh. But that's just speculation. I didn't see anything happen. But yeah, he may have, he may have tried to instigate a situation with another girl and I. Oh, thank you. Bye.

I'm good. But also, speaking of all the different drugs that I'm just in a hole, I'm in a euphoria hole over here. And are you guys yet, are you watching euphoria? because it's, I, talk about triggering. I'm getting triggered. It's very, it's rough. I can only

watch it alone. Okay, so this is where I'm coming from. Jackie, Barry, Barry, Barry. Gotta watch Barry. Okay, fine. I'll watch Barry. Oh, no, no, no. Why you're watching it? No, no, no. Flea-back. Go to watch Flea-back, flea-back. Okay, fine. I'll fucking start watching Flea-back. Just stop yelling at me. Stop beating on me. Stop harassing my neighbors.

Jackie, stop. I'll start watching Flea-to-do these things. The millisecond. I start watching Flea-back. Oh, euphoria. Yes. I am on the move. I've got things to do. I watch them.

I tell you to watch them as I'm watching them. You gotta jump on the J train or else you're going to miss the next stop. She's polyamorous with shows, and I don't think you should shame her. I am definitely, yes. Please do not shame my life choices. Don't you show shame me. How can I show shame you when now I am like, I literally was thinking about pretty little liars and it was keeping me from sleep last night.

So I don't even know. I'm the one who needs to be show-shamed. That's the thing, is that it's not like I'm telling you guys to watch things that are not good. I do the work for you. I watch a lot of things that aren't good that I don't tell you to watch. You do the Lord's work.

I do the Lord's television work. It's just like I'm living in American gods. I am of the new gods, and I'm fine with it. I haven't watched any of those, but Henry and I just were, like, binging this one show. I don't know if you guys have heard of it. it's called Game of Thrones

Oh no I can't believe But talk about late to the train I had to wait until it was over Because I knew that I was going to be furious That I wasn't on it And I am But now that it's over and I know there's no

Opportunity for me to be on it I can watch it You can accept it Yes Right I hear you on that one Yeah yeah for sure For sure for sure I am just excited

I don't know if you guys are into Love Island at all, but Love Island just came to America last night, and it's going to be on Monday through Friday until August 7th. So, bye, guys. You're going to hear about so much fucking American version of Love Island, and I'm not sorry about it. Not sorry, not sorry. I love it.

I feel shame, but I don't know what that is. Love Island is a British dating show that's essentially this is a bastardization of anything that I could ever I know that's not what it is but just quick version

it's like a way better like it's like sexy big brother except it has the happiness that everyone wants to do this together where it's like they even almost compared to like a great British bakeoff in the terms of the fact that

you're not rooting against people everyone's working together but also everyone's like having sex. Is there any like survivalism in the show? Is there any survivor elements? Yes. Or is it just cool? Well, that's the thing.

It's because people get kicked off and then they'll bring in ringers of like, yeah, but what Jamila doesn't know is that her third ex-boyfriend is showing up tomorrow morning. And so like brings all this like this kind of drama into it. But it's kind of fun. Like it's never like, I don't know. It's a fun though. And they have dumb challenges and they're hooked up in couples. But my favorite thing is I'm also at the same time, polyshomerous.

I am watching Are You the One on MTV? Which this season, it's almost the same kind of thing, except this season, it's all people in the queer community that are put into one house. So everybody's fucking. It's very, I mean, it's great for me. I know it's not for everybody. But if you want to watch some good old fashion stuck in a house, I guess I'll fuck this person show to get your, like, real world to fix. It's these ones. I gotta say, I'm, I've never been super into the dating shows.

Really? The only one that I really like is the 90-day fiancé. I love it, I love it, I love it. I haven't watched the new ones yet, though. No, I haven't watched, I've watched a little bit of the other way ones. The other way. What's the other way? What's the other way?

Yeah. Although I did read a spoilt. about someone that I'd already, I've been reading about the couples, but I haven't been watching it. And one of them is already, like. You're reading the novel before their show. Oh, I'm, yeah, I'm kind of, I'm slapping a Lee and worry already on it. And, um, you know, what, it doesn't seem like they're doing very well.

The couples? Yeah. You know, oh, you would think that. Oh, yeah, of course. You'd think that those couples would make it in this crazy world, but, but I guess not. But you know who is surprisingly still making it in this crazy world? a one Mariah Carey. There is so much.

We're talking to Keanuissance here. I think there is a carisance going on right now because she is everywhere in the media right now and it has to do with the fact that her ex-manager is embroiled in this horrible trial right now from her former assistant. And both of them are claiming that they have a lot of shit.

against Mariah Carey. They're like, what if we release it? What if we release it? In terms of, in terms of like psycho divas, I feel like Mariah Carey may be on the top of the list. I mean, who is nuttier than her? Like, so, in other words, that would have the most shit that a manager could put out there about her. You know what I mean? I don't know if there's anyone else that has the type of rep and longevity that she's had, too,

to really build up a nice stack of just crazy bullshit that they do. off hours. You know what I mean? I want to hear something weird. Is it just pills and stuff? Because everybody's going to expect that. I want to hear some, she does something really fucked up. Like, she has to, like, get on the roof nude every morning and, like, rip a baby alligator open.

I think it is a lot of, like, it seems like it's a lot of upsetting, um, sexual things. Yeah, I did, I did read that. Well, she was, like, I think that same, um, manager or assistant, sued her a couple years ago, right? And, like, they were saying that she's just naked in front of them all the time. Yeah. But I'm going to also, I mean, I'm going to say if you're on that many pills, why would you want to put clothes on?

But also, if you're a performer and you have assistance and stuff, they are going to see you naked sometimes because of the nature of the business. Yes. Because you're going to have to change really fast. You got, like, you're just got, like, the pasties over your nipples. Right. You got to do that kind of shit. I get that.

But I don't know if that was, like, then she would just be nude and just spread eagle while they were talking to her because that's, I guess, a little bit different. But I also, again, I feel like it would be a lot of times, I mean, obviously I don't know her as a person, but I feel like it would be the kind of thing where she just, like, didn't even realize she didn't have clothes on. Yeah. I mean, she's so pilled to the gills at all times. I mean, if you ever, like, just look into her eyes, you just see it.

Don't worry, honey. We're going to go. Except the fact that they would, my, the weirdest line from this article is that the manager and the former assistant. We're both friends and that they used to engage in friendly horseplay while on tour with Mariah Carey. What does the phrase horseplay as an adult mean? I like to think it's like when two bros get together and they just start like wrestling each other. You know what I mean?

Like, like Sina and Kessel do that a lot. Like they'll just be hanging out and they'll just start wrestling like two like little brothers. They always start kissing at the end. So I think that maybe they mean like, you know, Sina and Ben, they don't, they don't intend to it. And they start to wrestle eventually. It turns into hugs. Believe me, I always get into hugs. Yeah.

I used to wrestle. It turns into love letters, too. I saw one. That's what is all the engravings. Yeah, they just keep being getting everything engraved with each other's names on it. I'm just like, that's great. But like, do you want Kissel's name on that? That, I don't know if she's, like, referring.

Because later on in that article, she, the, I'm confusing the two women because both of their last names are long. Very, yes, our very Eastern European. But the one that's accusing the other one of rough horse play was saying that she would, like, rip her top down and stuff. Yeah, and she would expose her breasts to multiple people, including one or more minors, inviting others to throw objects into her bra, provocatively dancing in a highly sexualized manner, which again, I'm not going to say I haven't done that to people before. Of course, I've done that more times than I haven't done that. Not to miters, but I've definitely been like, go get them in my tits. Of course. Oh, can you get, especially with popcorn.

That if popcorn falls down, like if I'm watching a movie, I'll definitely use my tongue to get the popcorn out of my breast. That's just silly boo-boos. Not with 12-year-olds. No, no, no, no, I just do it with myself. But that's not a horseplay. That's like pony play. Is that pony? My little pony play.

That's my little pony play. I guess it's just a bit of a brony. But this is also that came out a couple of days ago is that Mariah Carey says, I'm kind of approved. Based on her sexual partners, she claims to have only had five sexual partners in her life. It can't be true.

Well, it can't, so she was married to Tommy Motola. She was married to Nick Cannon. That's two, right? We've got, she was dating a billionaire named James Packer, and they were engaged. She is now dating her back. up dancer, Brian Tanaka. So that's five right there

that she's been openly in relationships with. We know she had sex with Eminem. We talked about it a couple of weeks ago. Definitely. So that's six. Plus, I don't want to say, but maybe like at least 20 other guys she's had sex with. Or people. I think that she's just

had a lot of sex. I also though feel like Mariah, I'm getting vibes from her that she likes to kind of go like, oh-oh, naughty, naughty. Not like. You're not gonna touch me down in my pussy sticks. She's like one of those filthy almost kissers. You know what I mean?

I hate that. I could see her being asexual, actually. I could actually see her not having sex with anyone. Because she's either so filled out or so in love with herself that the only person. I could see her definitely like masturbating for six hours in front of a mirror. Sure. Right. And I do think she sleeps so much that maybe there wasn't a lot of time for sex.

Maybe there's that time. And then every time that she has downtime, she's like, no, honey, just get out of my room. Oh, close the door on the way out. I don't want it to get drafty. It's also funny, too, I feel like a lot of times, I think especially in the years I was jerking off to video she was in, she was really going for the sex pot vibe.

And a lot of times when you make sex, like, sex appeal, your business, sometimes it can really deflate it in your actual life. That is true, for sure. I mean, not in my case, but I get it. Some people express their sexuality outwardly, and I don't really have a drive when they're alone, which is fine. Yeah, there's nothing wrong with it.

I just feel like it's a weird thing to go out and say. Yes, it's sound, the way she said it made it seem like she's trying to prove something. Yes. And really try to, I feel like there is, there's a team of publicist's behind her just be like, just say it,

just say it. No, no, no, you have to be better at it. Be more normal. Be normal. For a second, just be normal. Like the picture that was,

put out of her FaceTiming with someone in front of a popcorn machine just so she could get the proper light for her selfie, which did make me think of the Hallmark movie that we watched with her in it. The Christmas Hallmark movie where she was just always the only one that had good lighting through the entire movie. She didn't match any of the shadows. Yeah. It was just like she looked like an angel every time she was on screen, which would make sense. And there was very specific frames for her. Like, there was no extreme close-ups.

There were no wide shots. It was just like bust-sized images of her. Just right here. Nothing else. Perfect light on her. And it didn't look like the room she was in at all. No. Which I sure it wasn't. I'm sure she wasn't there.

No, I feel like she was definitely all of her shots were filmed somewhere else with no other actors in the room. I'm proud of her. I'm also kind of proud. And she even joined in the bottle cap challenge. The bottle cap challenge is lighting up the world. right now, everybody loves it, nobody hates it. Nobody hates it. Nobody hates it. Nobody.

Nobody's stupid hates it, even though it's stupid. Have you guys tried the bottle cap challenge? I heard you were going to try to do it with your breasts, Jackie. Yeah, usually, my breasts are usually like very like topsy-turvy, you know what I mean? Like they got good grip on them. That's usually how I describe my breasts. I don't think I've ever done one of these challenges, though. I don't think.

You didn't dump a bucket of ice water on your fucking stupid head. Surprisingly. No. Somebody challenged me too, and I felt bad, but I'm not doing that. You're not going to do it, but you're not going to be like Kendall Jenner. Man, Kendall Jenner got into a bunch of trouble because she did hers, which was actually a lot of fun. She did hers on a jet ski, and she kicked it off while, like, turning the jet ski off the side of the boat. Whoa.

Which was, that's fun. But, and then everyone on the internet was just like, but where did that? the cap go? Are you putting the plastic in the oceans? Like the dude was on a boat. He was on a boat. She obviously kicked it into the boat. I mean, I know that that's pretty extreme, but I think it's because of her overall.

I can't with her. I can't. She's, I am not defending her. When she did that Handmaids' Tale Birthday, I went done. Yeah, oh, we talked about it. Done. That was so insensitive, so rough. I wish you would use native

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without any long-term commitment. Just go to Stamps.com, click on the microphone at the top of the home page and type in page seven. That's Stamps.com, enter page seven. Don't you love it? I feel like this is my new problem with stuff on social media nowadays. You have to like, you have to choose between like stupid, like hating the dumb outrage or the dumb person that the dumb outrage is.

Because both of it is dumb. Yeah. Both of it is dumb. I wish that I didn't know anything about her. I don't want plastic in the oceans, obviously. No. That is, I even use, I use the reusable straws and do the whole thing. It's just like she, she's going to get the thing.

She has a million assistance. She doesn't have to do it. She's going to pay someone. She's going to. to go and go get it from me. I don't want to touch the lot. And I'll tell you what, I love plastic in the ocean. My favorite thing to do is put a plastic bag in a duck's mouth.

You're a horrible. I'm fucking lie of it. I'll kill them all. When you run, do you just drop plastic everywhere you go to make sure that it gets into the... You secrete it. Every time I go to Dunkin' Donuts, I go extra straws, madame, and then make one of those pointless long straws so that I can lean back on my desk and drink from the drink.

And you know what I do afterwards? I drive to the Pacific Ocean. and I throw the straws in willy-nilly all day long straws for all you fish oh it makes me feel so good and then I come I come and I come and I come and I come

all over the Pacific Ocean all over the fish all over the birds don't come on the fish don't come on the fish and the straws they stick to the fish and then the fish are like the straws start to me

and they get weighed out and then the Titanic that's right I steal from the Titanic I want you to be our generation super villain. Yeah. I think you're on our way. It makes sense, especially where you've got the sweat rag already going. I feel like if there is something that says villain, it's a sweat rag on your shoulder.

For sure, dude. I am all about it. You are distracting me with this really awful still of John Mayer. Is this another bottle cap challenge? Oh, John Mayer did the bottle cap challenge? That's scary. And he kicked it because I don't know if you know this, but he's a bit of an artist, a martial artist.

But yeah, it's really, because he was actually one of the first, I believe, one of the first like wave of celebs that was tagged to do it by the Taekwondo instructor and fighter for Robbie DaVlatchin! Doblachshin! And he's the one that started it on June 25th, the bottle cap challenge. Because I follow a lot of stunt people who I, um... have worked with on Instagram.

I've seen some pretty fucking awesome ones, to be honest. It's very interesting. I, um, does this happen every summer? Am I just, like, now starting to realize that this happens every summer? That there's, like, a new challenge every summer?

There's like a thing. Yeah. Well, it makes sense because the summer kind of everything slows down, and I think people just get antsy. And that's essentially the time when you're sort of, like, bored enough to, I don't know, try to, like,

you know, kick a bottle cap off of a thing. By the way, uh, Itman, that guy's one. He does it blindfolded, which is pretty rare. Ooh, that's fun. I love that dude. Well, Mariah Carey did it by singing, right? She sang it on. I thought that was hilarious. It was funny. I thought it was very funny, but at the same time,

do we think that she actually hit that note? And also, how, I feel like she was, they put the bills in her mouth. They propped her up. And it was like, what am I going to do? You're going to sing. You're going to sing. And why is the bottle gap going to go? Don't worry about what's. gonna happen or why you're doing it.

We just, we need you to do this. And if you look really closely, there's actually a guy in a green screen suit literally holding her breasts. I imagine it. I bet the lines of the man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's very troubling. I think she hit the note and the only reason why I'm gonna say that is because you can

kind of hear the room tone. You can hear the echoy tone of the room. And I don't think you could capture that with like a pre-recorded in a studio. Yeah, I'm with you, Holden. I think actually she did. Well, you know what, then I'm proud of her. I'm proud of her for doing it.

She got up, she stood. She did stand up today, and that is great for her. I also know that with the slowness of summer, I think it is why everyone is so obsessed with the casting of the live action mermaid, little mermaid. We're all talking about. Everybody's talking about it. To the point that I now certainly don't care.

Although it is kind of fun that Guy Fietti played along. when the internet was making fun of him and how amazing he is by saying that he should play Ursula. And then he tweeted back essentially like, yeah, I'd do it. That's kind of fun. Yeah.

I see you internet. I see you making fun of me. And I raise you and I'm the bigger man. And I will accept it. I've really turned the corner and I like Guy Fiat, you know. He's incredible at social media. He may be the best at social media of anyone.

He is so good at just making people love him on there. especially people like you and kind of myself who were just kind of like, about the guy a little bit, you know what I mean? Being like, oh, whatever. French fries, you know what I mean? In your backwards sunglasses. I love him now.

I love him. Now I like him. I love him. And I did also, I was talking about how much I loved him the other night at, I was at a gather, a social gathering, me at a social gathering. And someone told me like, you know that he does, he has his own cruise line. Like, not cruise line, but he works with Carnival

and does four-day cruises out of Long Beach, Natalie. Wow. Does he? Natalie. Is he on the cruise? I think sometimes he's on the cruise. But you don't know? You don't know.

It's just like a thing is just like his burger restaurant. But the main issue is that it's a family cruise. Yeah, that's a problem. You can't do that. No, no, no. Also, I can't really eat any of the food. Yeah, you can't eat any of the food. Yeah.

It's just not like pork fat. You would not be able to eat any of that. No. Yeah, it is. It is, you know, it is America. And I salute him and, you know, put one straw in the sea a day. You know what? Just to fucking mix it up.

You are horrible. Just to mix it up, L.A. Oh, L.A., we have to carry metal straws around in your purse as the whole world gone mad. Yes, my straws are always dirty. And I'm okay with it. Yeah, we both carry them around in our fanny pack. We do it in the fanny pack. I jam them into my fanny pack.

fanny back and I'm fine with it and there's always stuff in it so I'm fine with it I bring my dirty cup to the coffee places oh yeah they put it in it I do yeah it's great because you know one thing that is a bastardization are the goddamn paper straws I don't know if I hate anything in this world more than I hate the paper straws I'll do anything to not be given a paper straw it falls apart I hate I think I'm just a texture person and I hate do what it feels in my mouth. I don't want anything paper in my mouth. Yeah, that's why you got

bring it. I bring a straw or else you get no straw. No straw for you. You guys remember that? L.A.'s becoming the soup Nazi for straws. That is. Maybe it's because maybe this is just a roundabout way to be like, hey, Seinfeld just turned 30. Maybe that's what they've been doing.

And then the regular straws are going to come back. And then all the turtles that were killed by the straws are also going to come back. Well, Holden, you can join the legions of young Republican men who are maligning people trying to stop using straws. They all hate it. Yeah, go ahead. Throw your plastic. Now, that would involve any amount of energy.

Nah, you ain't got the energy for that, but you know what you do have the energy for? The list. Oh. Who's got the list? Jackie, got to have that list. I think that this is a great list. this was tweeted at me by someone on the tweeterverse, and I really appreciate you, celebrities who have had lady part surgery.

This really goes well with the Ingoop Health Summit that I am most likely to in seven to eight years if I ever could scrounge up $1,000 go to. So that means in eight to nine years I'm going to be having an intervention. You're going to have to come find me in some sort of tree loft with all of my many skirts. We're wearing robes.

Oh, my God, I'm going to get so many robes. And then also... Didsommat? How many flower crowds I'm going to have? Obviously, Jenna Jameson. Not obviously, but we all know Jenna Jameson has been a lot in the plastic surgery. Well, I've definitely heard her talk about her vagina before. Oh, yeah?

Surgery-wise. Also other ways, but... Yeah. She revealed that she tried to get a vaginoplasty. Vaginoplasti? Vaginoplasti. Viginoplasti. Viginoplasti.

in order to be tighter down there. But she decided to go into seclusion because the doctor just couldn't do much for her. I mean, she has been rammed and slammed and jammed, and I have seen minutes of it, I will say. Fucking A-right. That's what she wanted to do. I have heard tale.

I have not been one to feel, but I've heard tale from people that have had intercourse with people that have had either lots of sex and or have had children out of their, their pooties, and they don't, they don't really feel that much of a difference. My experience, um, women, the women are way more self-conscious about that. And as a guy, I'm always like, what are you talking about? You feel great.

I don't know what you think you did down there to yourself, but you feel fantastic. I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, you know what I mean? And it's really, uh, internally, it's really just muscle. Like, you can, you can, you can, you can, you can, you could give her a little tune. You guys are doing it right now, aren't you? I'm definitely, I am clenching. I'm a thousand percent. That's the best part you can do it whenever.

You've never even seen me not doing it. Yeah, we're always doing it. Just constantly tight. Just like Cort and Kim Kardashian. Get out of life. They've done vaginal lasering. I don't care about this family. Laser their vaginas together.

Of course they do. I guess that's how they make it tighter. They laser them together. And then it's just one full, one lip. One just one lip. Oh. Like a little straw hole. Dance like a straw hole.

It's an oolipio. That's what they used to call me back in jail time. One lip. You're one lit. Give me some fucking playing cards. I beat your ass. I don't like you having. I just imagine the second you walked into jail,

someone ripped off your bottom. You're like, you have one lip now. Oh no. Please don't, please don't, my bitch. Yeah, one lip. I'll give you a plan card. I give you anything. why does that make you not be able to complete full sentences anywhere?

Anything to play card to pick a paw. I'll pick a party in the win. High tie to win. Don't you knell at us. Don't you knell at us. Octa mom had some vaginitis. She never gave birth to her 14 children vaginally, but she still decided to get it, quote,

nipped and tucked down there, because she's now started working in the pornographies. I think that's old, though. Because I actually recommend you looking at her new interviews because it kind of made me like her. Really? Yeah. You like her?

Yeah. I thought she was a horrible mother. No. She actually seems like... I mean, she's obviously a little bonkers, but you should check out the newer interview she has. Okay. All right, I'll give her...

I'll come back around to her. She kind of went on the porn thing for, while because of what had happened. Well, she had to make money, and that's a way to make money. And she didn't actually, she didn't fuck anybody on camera. She masturbated. Oh, that's old hat. Yeah.

So, no, no, check it out. I'll check into her. You might want to have eight kids after you hear from her. I'm totally, I mean, I'm down with that. I just know that she was like, completely broke because she didn't give an age about all of her many children. That was the last I had heard from her. I don't.

That's not the read I got. All right. I'll give her a shot. Yeah. You know who I also do love is Sharon Osborne. She had painful vaginal surgery. She said it was absolutely awful. But then she eventually backtracked and said that she didn't have the surgery.

You're a Sharon Osborne fan? I think I am. You know what it is, is that I don't know a whole lot about Sharon Osborne, but what I do know is that she was a very pudgy woman, and she got a huge rock star to fall in love with her. and in my brain as a teen, I was like, if Sharon Osborne can do it,

I can do it. Yeah, all you have to do is put up with all of his bullshit for a decade. Yeah, he was really not good, dur, and I think that she had a really rough life, but that's what's sad

is that in my teenage reptile brain, I still love her because of it. No, totally. And then she lost a bunch of weight, and she looks great, and he just kept cheating on her. I think you can have Ozzie, though. I mean, now I can.

I don't know if I want. I want him now. I don't even know if I wanted him back then. It was just like the idea. Sure. It was just the idea of it. But I don't know if maybe I can't see something. Maybe there's something that it's time for that I can't see.

Uh-oh, is it time for the list? No! Oh, is it time for the beginning of the episode? No. Is it time for Blind Idol? Bada da da da da da da da da da da da da da Basta Bustin makes me feel good

All right let's do this Yeah I know it does Oh yeah it does Have you seen that video Bustin Bustin Bustin Bustin So there's a YouTube video that we play a lot on Jackney's Dating Sims It gets requested quite a bit

And it's literally this remix where he It's literally just him Just saying Bustin like over and over again And just talking it like they cut all the Ghostbusters lyrics out except for Bustin makes me feel good. Feel good. Makes it feel good. And like they just keep showing like the Dan Aykroyd ghost blowjob.

It's just so funny. It's heinously annoying. That's all the internet. Look at them. So here we go. This first one's a quick one. This permanent A-list singer agreed to record several originals as well as classics for this live action reboot and return she got first say in who was cast in the lead role.

Okay, so it's a famous reboot. Wait, Lion King? Yes, and who would be the A-Lis singer then? Elton John? Beyonce. Yes, and who did she get to choose as the lead? Oh, I see. Donald Glover?

Yes. There you got. Wow. Apparently, she's the one who got to pick Donald Glover, which, completely fine with that. As she did me. Wow, that's great casting. Isn't that interesting?

Yeah, yeah. So I guess it was her, so this is saying, that she was the reason Donald Glover got to do it. Oh, my God. She wouldn't do any of the music or any of it unless she got to make that call. What if they had stup time? I would watch that.

Oh, man, would I watch that? I wish they would put out a sex tape. Right? Right. It can be like the extra features on the DVD. Yeah. And Jay-Z in the corner jerking off and watching it. Yeah, he's got to cock it up for.

for a little bit. And also, I'm cheating. Maybe I am speaking at a turn, but isn't Donald Glover possibly with Rihanna? Ooh, really? I don't know.

I know, oh, it's because they, no, they did Guava Island together. It's a say they did this, they did it some movie. They did a movie together called Guava Island. Did it come out? Cool.

I don't know if it's come out. I didn't hear about that. Oh, is it streaming? I knew that one of his, things that came out lately, and I believe it is probably this, was a bit of a flash in the pant, was a bit of a clunker compared to his other really big successes lately. So, you know, you can't win them all. So it's going to be on Amazon Prime.

Oh, Mitzama. Mitzama. Well, shout, shout, let it all out. Here's another blind item for you to doubt. Okay. All the sales made the news, but they were buried in with more juicy tidbits. The sale of catalogs and everything to do with the estate has quietly been sold and returned for cash. Why? About a decade ago was confirmed through a DNA test performed by a relative that the long-presumed sole heir of a-plus-plus-lister, I'll say singer, was a musician rather, was not actually the biological child of the A-plus-plus Lister.

She was the result of an affair the mom had with someone else. In order to try to make all claims against the estate harder to recover damages, everything was sold. sold and the money transferred to multiple shell corporations. So you have a daughter of a permanent, of a late permanent A++ list musician that we all were into back in the day, probably. But apparently DNA tests have been coming out, or DNA test happened to make it that the daughter was not actually that man's daughter. Paris Jackson.

It's not MJ, right? Not MJ, no. Dang. Franks doesn't have kids, does he? No. Different era. Different era. Fred Durst?

No, but getting closer, but Fred Durst still alive. Yeah, yeah, he is. He's still kicking. He's out there. Well, he's got that weird John Travolta movie coming out soon. Oh, I don't like anything about what you just said. Yeah, well, no, I know that. Yeah, yeah, actually.

This stills make me very intrigued. I'm actually very intrigued. I would kind of love a total turn for Fred Durst and that all of a sudden he's just this like, Autor Amazing Director. Like, how cool would that be? Yeah, because it's about, it's called The Fanatic, and it's about, John Travolta plays this dude that was actually in real life obsessed with Fred Durst.

Oh, that's fun. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, Devonsaw, isn't it? Yeah. I like Devonsaw. Right, I'll see the fuck out of that. Okay, so back, so we're talking musician. Let's think about the mother for a second.

The mother notoriously kind of sucks, and I'm going to say is sometimes blamed for this person's death. Oh, oh. Kirk Cobain and what's her name, Beans. Francis Bean, Cobane. And Courtney Love, and this is apparently Francis Bean Cobain. Minot's Bea Mitz-Somber, Kurt Cobain. He looks like him, though.

She looks like he does look just like him. Yeah. She does. She looks like the both of them, honestly. But wait, so what happened with the estates? So they just sold everything? Well, Courtney Love's been fighting with the other band members for control of the estates

since 1997. Francis Cobain got a restraining order against Courtney Love in 2009, and she went on to inherit 37% of her father's estate when she turned 18 in 2010. And apparently this posits that they sold the shit out of it and put it in shell corporations to maintain the money. She, though, talks about how she feels,

she's begun on record saying she feels guilty about having this money because she didn't earn it, yada, yada, yada. Maybe she feels guilty for other reasons, though, as well. I definitely could see her being an actual sociopath, but makes great music. But, you know, and there, you know, it is a lot of fun, but she might be a little crazy.

Thank you guys so much for joining us on this week's episode of page 7 and Natalie Jean. Thank you very much for being here with us. Always a pleasure. Do you have anything that you would like to have promotes? Have a, have a. My Instagram is the Natty Gene. Hell, yeah, it is. And you can put your legs everywhere.

They're so bendy. Yeah, I would like to promote my flexibility. My flexibility is number one. My name is Jackie Zabrowski. You can find me on Instagram at Jack That Worm. Or on Twitter at Jack the Worm, because, again, I don't know what to do. Someone took Jack That Worm. So now it's Jack That Worm and one's Jack The Worm.

It doesn't make any sense. Do you know who it is? No. It's someone that never posted anything. Also, and my name's Holden, and I know I look like I've kind of let myself go, but I've been lifting dumbbells again and really getting out there and running and stuff. I plan to be running like six days a week. We've been saying this over and over again. It looks like he's let himself go.

Every time I get on the subway train, I'm literally completely covered in sweat, and everyone else is completely fine and absolutely dry. I don't know what's going on. I think it's a gland problem. It's just humidity. You're just, it's just a lot. But everyone else is fine, Jackie, so what's the deal with me? You can follow me on Twitch.com.

You're just funny. Check out Jack and these dating sims every single Friday night, unless we decide to take off that week. Also, we want to really highlight that we are really tripling down on Patreon bonus episode stuff. So if you ever were considering becoming a patron, we are like going nuts, going ham on it right now. We are like marathoning pretty little liars because it's going off Netflix. We're doing at least an episode of bonus material a week, like monthly roundup stuff where Jackie and I talk about like big little lies and all that kind of stuff and like the shows we're watching.

Yeah, and this week we talked to our reboots because I had a lot to say about the child's play reboot. Yes, we just did an episode about reboot. So consider checking out just $5. It's patreon.com forward slash page seven podcast. It's having the number. Thank you again, everybody. We love you guys. Bye.

Bye. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors. You can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to Last Podcast Network.com.