Page 7 - Episode 321: Luck Be A Lilo Tonight

Episode Date: September 19, 2019

This week Jackie, Holden, and Natalie talk about the new Charlie's Angels movie, a Selena case update, and are the Kardashian-West's starting a cult in Wyoming?   Go to http://casetify.com/page7 to get 20% off your purchase. Get started today at http://stitchfix.com/page7 and get an extra 25% off when you keep everything in your box! Go to http://honeybook.com/page7 for 50% off your first year. Quip starts at just $25 and if you go to http://getquip.com/page7 right now, you can get your first refill pack for FREE.   Need even more hot goss? Join our Patreon page for ad-free episodes, bonus content and other goodies!  Kool Kats, Shades of Spring, Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/ Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

All around me are familiar faces. Worn out faces. Worn out faces. Is it a cat dying? What's happening right now? The day's erases. This is what's stuck in. Is a cat need medical attention?

Send the cat to the emergency room. Welcome to Beach 7, the cat pitches. have, my voice is finally back. Guys, I have not had a voice. Welcome to page seven. I'm Jackie's Rostier. You sound. I'm Alderman McNeely.

You sound like, I literally was like, oh, they must be outside collecting trash in the giant trash collection machine. I'm Natalie Jean, and I think Jackie sounds adorable. Thank you very much. You are my girl for life. You sound like a vulnerable, sexy baby. Oh, my God.

That's what I've been going for. my entire life. I think it was just choice of song. I feel like you should have gone with some like Tom Waits. I don't know if I can do, I don't know if I can even get it down there. I've not had a voice for three days, and it's finally back, and I'm very happy to hear myself, and it missed me. I miss sounding like me, you know what I mean?

And you're right, though. I feel like people always talk about, like, oh, I get sick, and I sound sexier. I don't sound sexier. I sound like this. Right. I think it's cute. Is it sexy? I really do.

Yeah. This is the thing with you. You already have that sultry voice, Jackie. I do. So losing your voice just kind of doubles down on it. And it's so, you know what I mean? Yes. But that's a good thing because you already have it.

I have it all the time. And years and years of tobacco abuse. I have it all the time. But I don't have that anymore. It's not a tobacco abuse anymore. Thank you very much. Thank you very much. You're welcome.

Thanks, guys. This is an international podcast today, guys. This is a weird one. We're all in completely. different places. Natalie's place is the coolest, so we'll do hers last. I'm in my apartment in Astoria.

I'm in my childhood bedroom because we're all taking turns going to Florida. Now it's my turn in Florida. Yeah, we're all recording from your room. Yeah, now I'm recording from my room. And then next week, I will go to Jackie's room and record in her.

Oh, Linda would love it. I just finished. I told my mom that I had to record this morning, And so she got up extra early and made me sausage and eggs and bacon and many breads. That's so awesome. And I don't usually eat breakfast. But you know what? I slammed two plates of eggs this morning.

Because if there's something that helps your throat feel better, slimy eggs. Sliding the eggs. Sliding them down. I am currently in Stockholm, Sweden. What? Wow. Yeah. And, you know, I know I said a lot about Tom Green, but I will say the best thing he ever gave us is my bum is on the Swedish.

That is true. We get to use it finally after all these years. So you are in Stockholm with the boys of last podcast on the left on their tour. Have you put your bum on a Swedish? We've been desperately looking for a sign that says Sweden or Swedish, but it will happen. because it has to. I need it to happen. Yeah.

We've done a lot of cool shit already. And we ended up going, I don't even know, I should tell you, because we got you a present there. I want the present. You're going to get it. You're going to get it. I want the present, yeah. Yeah, it's kind of sad hair and her say that because she does sound like a weird, like, orphan from a musical. Yeah, sexy, like I said.

A sexy weird orphan from a musical. Like, yeah, sure, the sexy kind that's like ready to fuck at any point, you know. know what I mean. Yeah. With other of-aged orphans, by the way. I'm not being gross. Yeah, thank you. Yeah, other children.

What else are those orphans supposed to do in the orphanage? I'm just like Gavroche. I am all Gavroche, no Jackie today. So when this pup grows up, she's gonna get sucked. You're sort of like pretty woman, but as an orphan, it would be pretty orphan. Oh, I love pretty orphan. Oh my God.

And it could be a musical. It'll be like, Pretty orphan. In and out her cot. Pretty orphan. Wishes she had a mom. Pretty orphan. It's a hard knock sock.

Oh, me. It's, you know what I mean? I don't kiss Daddy Warbox on the mouth. You filthy fucking orphaned ass fucking woman. that's that's the other side of it it's pretty orphan filthy orphan so it's i feel like i'm really excited for this but i'm sorry Natalie what are you what have you done in stockholm that's your favorite well we just uh we we just got in last night i believe from london town foggy london town and uh we so we did a quick tour of sweden today before the show tonight and we ended up at

At one point, we ended up at the official Abba Museum. So we got a present for a Jackie. Oh, my God, is it dance with me? Did you get me a young and sweet? Is he only 17? I don't actually recall them. They should sell merch with that on it. And they don't, I don't think so.

Damn it. But it's another fun ABBA expression that you'll be getting. See, this is kind of fun because actually Henry and Natalie got me a Mamma Mia. Here we go. shirt in Italian from Italy. So what you're doing is you're giving me international Abba gifts. Yes, except but this one is the most pure because it's actually in relation to Stockholm.

Wait, forgive me if I'm, are you a fan of Mamma Mia or just Aba? Not at all. No, neither one. Oh, okay, none of it. I was about, I was like, so I feel like I've talked about on this, maybe I haven't talked about it on this show, but I remember my ex, was like, oh, I really loved Mamma Mia. Let's watch it because we were in a hotel room together.

And she put it on and it was just the look on my face about a half an hour and she was like, should we change it? You know, because I was literally just like, I was just mortified at every second. I'm not a big Abba fan. I'm not a big Abba fan. I like Mama Mia though because Mama Mia is a lot of fun. I think Mama Mia is a lot of fun. I enjoyed the movies. I hated the museum.

It was massive. It was like 12 rooms of Abba's shit, and I did not like it. Oh, you don't like. I like Abba. I don't mind Abba. I don't need to see 12 rooms of Abba stuff, though. You want to know what my funeral is. Actually, technically, I think that this is Jeff's funeral.

When you're on a long flight with someone who's losing their voice, who really doesn't want to lose their voice, who is. watching Gone with the Wind for the first time on a long flight and him having to listen to me, take off my earbuds and just be like, what the fuck? Are you fucking kidding me? I screamed about Gone with the Wind for four hours. The movie is four hours long.

Have you guys seen Gone with the Wind? 100%. I have not seen it one time ever. Definitely do it. I remember I had actually a really fond Thanksgiving weekend where I watched it in like two different parts. Right. It was like,

got home from Thanksgiving, all stuffed belly full of lead. This is when you need to watch it when you just want to lay in the couch and just like not exist. Absorb the South? Yes. Watch the first half of it.

And then went to sleep and in a coma, woke up, finished the second half of it and the morning, you know, while I'm having my cup of coffee. Good way to do it.

Split it up. I'm shocked you were even able to watch the entire thing in your flight, Jack. I was sucked into it. It is a hunker of a movie. It is long as long as long. So I had 20 minutes left when my flight finished before I got into another flight.

And I was so mad. That's actually a good flight movie then because I really like to take up. Sometimes I watch Titanic just because I know it's going to take half the flight. Highly recommend watching Gone with the Wind. Does there a reason that, did you bring, did you pull this into your life for a specific reason? It was one of those ones that, you know, when you have the list of movies, I'm like, I should see this. I haven't done this.

No one ever really wants to sit and watch Gone with the Wind. I'm not saying this movie, it's outstanding. It is such an amazing movie. However, no one tells you that Scarlett O'Hara is a bitch. She's a bitch, and I hate her, I hate her, I hate her. I have never hated a character so much in my entire life and that I watch for four hours. She's like the Felicity Huffman of, you know, those days, those times.

Are you supposed to hate her? You are, but I didn't know that. I thought it was a romance. Yeah, a big love story. I thought it was like, you know, Clark Gable and Vivian Lee and it's like their forever love like the fucking, like the priest's sex movie, the Australia pre-sex movie.

The Thornbird. Ah, yes. It is one of those films that is like, oh, like you start watching, like, oh, I had no idea it was going to be about this, you know, with the Civil War in the background and, you know, just like, it's just this giant epic. But you look back on it and you think, well, the big line in the movie that everyone knows is, frankly, Scarlett, I don't give a damn, which is like not a friendly thing to say. And I, it is just.

And also, I am going to go ahead and say, I need to go on an excursion because I have not watched a lot of old movies. Go and throw it out there. I didn't know. I knew that Clark Gable was a person that everyone wanted to be in love with, but watching that movie, oh my God. Uh-oh. I would watch that man read the fucking Bible.

I love him. I want to watch every single thing Clark Gable has been in. And also, this is sad. It is 2019. I should know these things. Obviously, for a reason, Clark Gable is Clark Gable. He's intoxicating. Like, do you, like, would you want to rub on him?

Like, that kind of intoxicating? Yes, but apparently, Jeff was telling me that he loved his wife so much in real life that he would play all these romantic parts, but he would eat garlic and gross things to make the kissing, like to push women away. way because he loves his wife so much. I don't, that just feels like I would sue. I would be like, that is abuse, like, on a weird level. You know what I mean?

I don't know. I guess that's romantic about the same time, like working conditions. Like, we talked about this before about how, like, who would do it? It's terrible. That's not that bad. It's not like he farted into his mouth before. No. Just eating some garlic.

See, that would be fun. That would be. But as the other person in this situation, I feel like a lawsuit is violent. in that scenario. You know what I mean? A lawsuit. For bad breath? The whole movie,

this bitch is in love with this dude the entire time. And the whole thing's like, Ashley, Ashley, I want to be with Ashley. Fucking bitch. Get your fucking shit together.

You've got other things to think about. I hate her. I hate her so much. I really, this is really enjoyable listening to you barely have a voice

freaking out about gone with the wind. Is this terrible to listen to? Is no one going to want to listen to this podcast? It's not expected. It is not what I anticipated today. I'm so mad. I'm so mad about it. And she's such an iconic character. And I thought she was going to be someone

that would inspire me. And all she inspired me, I guess she technically is a bitch that gets what she wants. I'm just looking at pictures right now. And these this like, you know, this big hat and the big big green bow around her. She's just so detestable.

She's gorgeous and she's such a bitch. And I was talking, so I was screaming at my mom about this and she brought up some, I guess there's some iconic S&L Carol Burnett sketch. Oh yeah, totally, the curtain one. Yeah, the curtain one. And she's like, yeah, you haven't seen the curtains.

I was like, no, I haven't seen the curtains. I didn't know anything about it. And then I watched that. It's, I mean, it's all of it's great. It was on the, it was on the, it was on the, I'm sorry, yeah, I meant Carol Burnett show, So it was like, it was, I get it now.

Now I'm finally, you know, it only took almost a hundred years and I finally get it. I get everything that they're saying about it. Also what I think is very funny is that apparently the Ocala, Florida chapter of the United Daughters of the Confederacy were offended because Vivian Lee is a British actress. The only reason why they stopped protesting was when the casting people came out and said, said, well, it's either going to be her or Catherine Hepburn. And they said, well, better an English woman than a Yankee. Wow.

Oh, no. Oh, God. Isn't that insane? So this is that time period's version of, I don't want no damn liberal playing this part. Oh, yes, very much so. And the fact that the woman, Mamie, who was amazing in this movie, who I believe won, she won an Oscar. She was the first African American to win an Oscars, what this list. says, but she was banned from the premiere. The name is Hattie McDaniel.

She wasn't allowed to go because our country is a garbage fire. Yes. She was, oh my God, because that was the thing. I had no idea how it ended, and I'm not going to spoil or alert you, Natalie. I had no idea I was going to end, but I had about 25 minutes left. And Jeff's like, you're going to be so mad. You're going to be so mad at the ending. I was like, why?

Why am I going to be mad? And then I watched it. I was just like, I wanted to rip the plane apart. I wanted to rip the cushions off of the seats like a chimpanzee. I was ready to go mad. That would have been an awesome way to get arrested on an airplane. Yes. You just losing your mind over the end of gone with the wind.

She just couldn't take it. She needed to express herself and we had to put her in chains. Put me in chains. Put me in chains. Scarlett O'Hara is a bitch. Put this woman in chains. But now I guess I want to read the book, but I did that with the Thorn Birds. And you know what?

The Thorn Birds reading was a little dry. I bet. Also, this is a very long book. I'm down with a sweepabout of the South. You know, I love a sweepabout of the South. I think I did all of this because I was traveling from National to Florida. So I'm in southern territory. And I just want to wear a fucking hoop skirt.

Okay? Oh, yeah. Hoops skirts are great. I like anything that has like a lower, like the skirt that like either it's filled with tall or you got a hoop. Just something like super dramatic so you hit everybody when you walk in the room. I want to upset everyone. I want my hat to be so big that people go, why is that woman wearing a hat so big? And you block everybody's view whenever you get into any place where you guys are, you know, you're watching a play and you won't take your hat off.

Yeah, of course. That's kind of outfit I like. I want to upset everyone everywhere I go. Yeah. Yeah, that's why I want to dress up like a bloodied Confederate soldier and just walk around, yeah. Just be like, we lost, we lost. Will you call yourself Ashley, you fucking little prick?

I'm sorry, you're not a prick, Ashley. Ashley's not even the prick. It's not his fault. It's not his fault that she's like this. Yeah. But is he Confederate soldier? Yes, it's all painful. Yeah.

See, this is why I think I've never really wanted to watch because I feel like it makes me uncomfortable just thinking about it. it's very pro-confederate it's very much it's pro the confederacy and very against the cool it's very upsetting good good good the whole thing's upsetting it's like it very much a historical document for sure right yeah yeah what feelings were like back then what times were like back then which is what makes it so fascinating it's such a window into a time so forgotten good and for good reason and I'm glad but I mean it's a movie you know what other classics are you going to watch Citizen Kane is amazing I see this is the problem though is I feel like I would watch those movies

back when I was like more of a of a hellion so I would be in under many things and I would watch these movies and I'd be like boring now it's great oh you're saying that was you couldn't watch them when you were a hellion yeah because I would just fall as sleep and be like, this sucks. Why is it in un-like this? Yeah, that's because when you're younger, you're just too self-involved to, like, really look at something that doesn't relate to you immediately.

Yes. For me, at least. I do love your confusion, though, Natalie, because, like, the idea of Jackie, like, doing fucking rails of cocaine watching fucking all about Eve. That's her bad girl. She's wearing, like, no shirt, just a leather jacket. Yeah.

Just slamming coke and fucking... Let's say put on too hot to handle. Again! I actually could, during my brief stint in the cocaine years, I feel like I could have watched a lot of old movies and been really into them and thought I had a lot of really important shit to say about them. I think that, you know, that's what's going to happen after the Kardashians move to Wyoming. This is so obviously, I was thinking to my head, I was like, it's not Spawn Ranch, it's

Khan, Yay Ranch. Kanye range. Oh, yeah, good job, Holden. And who are they going to murder? Who is he going to send his minions to kill? T. Swift? Maybe. Maybe.

Do you think it's going to be a murder cult? I feel like it could just be like a worship cult where they all have to sort of like give their wives to Kanye. I think it's going to be a worship cult. Tell us what's going to get married to this actor. Get pregnant. And there's going to be a home invasion by a bunch of fucking Kanye cultists. I'm calling it right now, 2022. Well, in case you guys haven't.

heard, Kanye has purchased a $14 million ranch in Wyoming. And Kim Kardashian went on the tonight show and just said, we love Wyoming. My husband did just buy a ranch there and his dream and his vision is to move there. But what is his vision, man? We all know what his fucking vision is. We've been talking about this for weeks on page seven. So he's building up this church and then he's going to, I'm going to assume, create a widespread. church up there. What do they call church house? Church house. Church house.

The big, big fun church house. Church house with their sex. Yes. Yeah, it's troubling. I'm a little concerned, to be honest. I'm actually a little concerned. Oh, you should be. It's definitely happening.

Also, I love this picture on this page six article, which is literally a Photoshop. Kim Kardashian photoshopped in front of a bunch of Buffalo with a very important. photoshop cowboy hat on her head. She is like clearly wearing like a red carpet dress. With her nipples, don't worry. You can still see her nipples.

That's crazy to me because she loves Wyoming so much. There must be so many pictures of her. Yeah. A cattle ranch. Right. Out on a ranch riding a horse. Absolutely. She says it's like the prettiest place you've seen in your entire life.

Even my sisters. Everyone. We've had this dream of getting a ranch and just spending our summers there and getting away. which the thing is I'm going to throw it out there. I've been really wanting to go up to that part of the country. I've never been up there before. I want to do like Montana. I want to do the Dakotas.

I love cowboy things. Obviously, we talked about this. I still follow Compton Cowboys on Instagram, which again, you should do because, man, it makes you want to lick your telephone screen. But I think that it's a fun idea. And watching the Kardashians move as a whole up to Wyoming, I think would be kind of fun. Well, you can also then join their cult.

You can just go up there and then you can be in the mouth. I don't think I'm pretty enough. And I don't think I look good in white. I don't look good in white. And I think that I'm... They know that I'm seeped with sin. Yeah, but that's what they want.

They want you to bring your filthy body there so they can clean it. Oh, clean me off. Clean it in the mountains. Oh, it just makes me think of righteous gemstones. Also, sidebar, if you're not watching the righteous gemstones, you need to stop whatever you are.

are doing right now and watch the righteous gemstones. It is on HBO. It is Danny McBride's new show with John Goodman and Walton Goggins. And it's perfect. I'm going to jump on it as soon as I'm caught up on before the 90 days. Also really quick, Darcy, what are we doing with our life? What are we doing? This is 90 day corner.

Yeah, that's all I have to say. I just need to scream the word Darcy. Move on. Please, let's move on. You're really invested in her. I just. Some might say he's obsessed. The British guy is just like, can we just enjoy an evening together without you calling me a Prince Charming

and talking about how perfect everything is? Because I get it. I get it. All I did was bring you to a restaurant and there's a fireplace here and all of a sudden now you're crying and stuff. And she's just like, sorry, I just want. It's like, just have a conversation about anything other than the fact that he's, you're Prince Charming. Babe, my Prince Charming. I think that this is going to, I think it's going to give you an aneurysm.

I need to, yeah, we're almost caught up, and then it'll be a weekly small thing as opposed to a week-long takeover thing. What good marketing for 90-day fiancé, though, if you have an aneurysm, they can put that everywhere. This show will make you so excited and upset that your brain might explode, and then everybody's going to watch it. It was like when the animas in Japan were giving little kids seizures. Yeah. You know what I mean? It's like transcending normal media in that way. Yeah, absolutely.

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Someone give all pud and pop Ashley a ring because it sounds like his head could have used one of those. I'm sorry. It's not his fault that old selfish bootlicker wanted to ruin the life of his perfect wife. I'm talking about gone with the wind. With thousands of designs to choose from, you'll find the perfect case for your aesthetic.

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Get started today at Citchfix.com. slash page 7 and get an extra 25% off when you keep everything in your box. That's stitchfix.com slash page 7. Stitchfix.com slash page 7. But were you this upset when you watched the video of the new Charlie's Angels hit? Don't Call Me Angel by Miley Cyrus, Ariana Grande, and Lana Del Rey. This dropped, number one. Why is Elizabeth Banks making another?

Charlie's Angels. And number two, why is the hit single for said Charlie's Angels sung by three very talented women that could make such a terrible song? It's almost like they shit it out without even thinking or caring. That would be my guess. Also, the video is corny. It's kind of like a Victoria's Secret commercial. It's a little corny.

It reminds me of that weird, that like fun time back in the day where every big summer movie had like a song accompany it, Wild Wild West, men in black. But the 2000s remake of Charlie's Angels, which I unabashedly love, I love that movie. I've watched it 150 times and now continue to, had Destiny's Child song, which is still a Bob. See, that's how you do it. That was great. It was a fun movie, and the song was great. Charlie, how your angels get down like that. I don't know your hands up at me.

Hell yeah, girl. My name's Charlie, and I'm happy to say, you're my angels today. I love that whole ending refrain. Oh, yeah, that rap part in the middle. Yeah. I forgot how they throw that in there. I will say this. I was watching the video last night with some white wine,

so maybe that helped me enjoy it a little bit more. But I was watching it and I was like, how the fuck is Lana Del Rey going to even like be on this track? Because at first it starts like a song that is very much Ariana Grande and Miley Cyrus. And then the bridge hits and the song literally just turns into a Lana Del Rey song for like one minute. Yeah. And I was like, oh, okay. Because she's that like mellow, weedy pop that like L.A. you know, high stoner pop kind of surfer stuff.

And like, yeah. And it does become that eventually, which I thought was actually kind of cool. But I will say, shout out Salada Del Rey. I'm like super in love with her new album. Norman fucking Rockwell, her new album is outstanding. It is so good. It's so good. And it's like three different songs mashed into one song.

It's too much. It's not cohesive at all. And you know I love shitty pop music. Yeah, no, I just don't think they put any effort into it. I think they just really. just we're like, well, we're going to make a song and it's going to be about angels. We'll put on angel wings in the video.

Yeah, yeah, make them lick each other. I would put it in the category less. It's less like men in black or that Destiny's Child, Charlie's Angels soundtrack song. And it's more like that deep blue, the L.L. Cool J, deepest blue is my hat is like a sharks fin. Deepest blue is my hat is like a shark's fin, which was like a real big attempt

in having a big summer song. that just totally fell flat because like what your hat is a shark'sman because you're talking you're thinking a fucking giant shark movie at least it's so dumb it's fun this one's just boring yeah but i like seeing all three of them together that's kind of fun i want to like hang out with them it it was definitely interesting i don't like that they're really forcing the fact that everyone's just like do you think that mily cyrus shaded leum hemisworth with her lyrics which number one mily cyrus obviously did not write her lyrics for this and her lyrics are for it. Don't call me an angel when I'm a mess. Don't call me angel when I get undressed. You know I, I don't like that boy. I make my money and I write the checks. So say my name

with a little respect. Why is that shading Liam Hemsworth? He makes plenty of money. This is a relationship that is not based on her being a sugar mama. They both make lots of money. The first time she saw those lyrics was the morning that they were recording this song. There's no way she put a lot into this because I do, I like Miley Cyrus a lot and this is not her best work. I love Miley.

But I guess I'll watch, I love Elizabeth thanks and I enjoy what she's been doing movie-wise. I just don't know if we need another Charlie's Angels, guys. No, not really, but I will say Kristen Stewart looks fucking sexy in it. Yes, very much so. And I think that Kristen Stewart can do it. I want

I want to kiss. Yeah, dude. Get that Adventureland up in your fucking bullshit. Are you going to see it? I love Adventureland so much. I do too. It was filmed in Pittsburgh at the amusement park that I have a tattoo of on my arm. Yes.

I was thinking of Zombie Land, the new Zombie Land for half a second. I'm excited about that as well. Yeah, I did too. I loved the first Zombie Land for sure. Adventure Land to me is like the perfect summer movie. Like you were just outside all day. Maybe you went to the park or something, hung out with it. friends or whatever and you go to the beach and you get back and you just want to watch that movie

you can just throw on and lay down and just get fucking ripped to the tip to and that air conditioning. It's just that perfect relax movie to me. Yeah, which is exactly what I think we're going to get from hustlers, which man, I have not had the time to see hustlers yet, but it is getting great reviews. That's awesome. I'm also excited to see hustlers. How dare none of us have seen hustlers? I know.

I know. But they don't have movie theaters in Sweet. Sweden? No, they ride bikes. They do. They write bikes and the little movie screen is on the bike and you have to avoid traffic while watching the movie. I've heard that about. They are a fit people. They are all. I feel like I'm comfortable here because of the tall gangliness of everybody. I'm just the normal here.

How does Henry feel? He's blending in well. He got a new jacket and he feels he's pale, you know, so that works. Also, he has passed out behind you, which is fun. He is completely asleep behind me. Does he have a sleep boner? Jack? Ew. Well, then.

Yeah, Jackie, do you want me to check that up? No, I'm in my old childhood bedroom. It's natural. I woke up with one today. I couldn't help it. I also had a weird dream about a werewolf trying to break into my apartment, but that was different from the sex dream I probably had. Are you sure?

Because I would definitely get turned on by a werewolf. I definitely had a dream to night. ago where it was me and Lexi at Taylor Swift's house at a house party and I was just trying so hard to make a good impression. And she was like, I really like, I think she was talking about Lexi or was somebody else. She's like, I really like Lexi. She's such a great person to talk to. And I was like, but what about me? Am I fun to talk to?

Please tell me I'm fun to talk to. You know what I mean? I was just like really needy and it was really like a mirror. So you're putting your needs above your wife's needs? Isn't that not a part of your fucking vows? I was like weirdly jealous. It wasn't sexual at all. And it was so vivid.

She was wearing the look that she has in the very beginning of the me music video. Are you talking about a dream that you had of Taylor Swift? Is this what you're going to be? Yes, 100%. Oh, I didn't actually hang out with him. I blanked out for a second. You would have fucking. Wait, you blanked out while he was talking about Taylor Swift.

I'm just looking up in my bed, in my, I'm inside of my bedroom closet. And I forget about all the weird games we have, even though we weren't allowed to play games. I forgot about it. I think it's called Splat. And it says the Bugs Squishing game. Yeah, I do remember that one. Did you say you weren't allowed to play games? I do remember that.

No, we weren't allowed to play games because Henry and I would scream at each other. Oh, because of the violence, I think. I'm really excited because I got a new card game called Sushi Go, where you make sushi. Oh, that's cute. It's a card game. Yeah, it's a card game. Look at all the cute little sushi's. And so it's like two to eight players, and it was recommended to me.

And, yeah, it's Sushi Go Party Edition. Do you have to include raw fish in the game? Yeah, you actually do put raw fish on the cards. It's only a one use. Oh, yeah, so all the cards get covered in fish. It's a one use. Yeah, 100%. I think that's it.

I think it's great. I just don't understand when we ever played the game moods, because that sounds scary. Moods? Moods. And it says, oh, that's right. I forgot about that game. I think it's the kind of thing where it's like you get a line and it's like you get like the way you're supposed to say.

say it and it's just like the car godas moon that's like valley girl oh cool so it should be called accent I think it's maybe accents I may I might be making that up hmm I don't know

just just childhood bedroom closet things yeah yeah okay let's say Kanye doesn't kill T Swift with his colt who's he going for maybe he's gonna go for J-Lo because J-Lo might be the the Super Bowl half-time show.

Oh, eclipsing him. Yeah. That makes a lot of sense. I'm excited for it. I think that's great. I think it's damn fucking better than Maroon 5. Yeah, oh, yeah. I'll tell you that much. Gross. I don't watch the Super Bowl anyway, but... I usually just watch... I watch the halftime show every year just to see what's going on with it.

And the Maroon Viables is garbage. Cold play was terrible. But I feel like J-Lo is just the right amount of... She gives everybody... like she's going to give an amazing dance performance. It's going to be really great. And also she bridges an audience of, you know, people that are young as well as people that are old.

I think that's exactly what the halftime show should be. You're right, Jackie. Uh-huh. You're right. Thank you. I agree with you. Yep. Thank you.

I definitely need those like old. I don't need even new hits, but I need old hits, right? And I feel like Maroon 5 at least for me, like I hate all of their hits, right? So I knew I was going to hate the halftime special. but J-Lo's got some bangers. I mean, I know she has, she doesn't necessarily had a huge, huge hit recently.

You know what I mean? But you know what she should do? She should incorporate her singing competition show stuff. She should have other singers get up during her halftime special and judge them. She should do, oh, she should do all of her Selena songs and all those costumes because she has the best costumes. And from that movie, those were the best.

All of her boosiers. Oh, my God. Bring them back. sexy in that movie. I'm glad you brought up Selena too because I want to talk about that crazy bullshit. Isn't that insane? So guys, I included

Selena's convicted murderer Yolanda Saldivar wants a new trial claiming there is hidden evidence that will acquit her or reduce her sentence, which, bitch, you killed her

in front of lots of people. That's what I'm saying. I was like, oh, let me look at the actual murder or whatever. And I went into Wikipedia and I was reading it. And it was like, then Selena, you know, leaving a blood trail going from the hotel room, went down to the front desk and literally said, she's the one who shot me. Like, literally said, like, named her murderer right before dying.

Like, what? How do you have a retrial on that? Like the murder victim literally was like, that's the one what did it. She must be bored. Like, that's just her trying to break up the monotony of prison. She's been there for 20 years. You got to get them that court, court. Because I was curious, because sometimes I recently watched that Amanda Knox documentary,

and it got me thinking a lot about, like, wrongful convictions and how things can go wrong. And then I look up her murder, you know, story, Salinas. I have to admit, I need to see that movie. Is that terrible? I'm so sorry. That's my gone with the win. I'm never going to judge anyone for not watching a movie. I'm just saying you are.

going to enjoy Selena. Anything for Salinas. Just get ready to get ready to cry because it is so.

You can not cry. Like I've seen that movie probably 20 times and I've always cried. Jennifer Lopez is so good. She's so good

of Selena. I, um, does it happen in the movie? Does she go down to the front desk and say, this is the woman

who murdered me? No. Okay. Do it tastefully. Okay. They handle it tastefully. It's artistic what they do. It's just the craziest thing.

It's like, there's not going to be some fucking blood on some shoes that's going to change the shit. You know what I mean? And anyway, she embezzled all that fucking money and shit anyways. I am kind of curious to see what she's going to present because it's going to be bonkers. It's shoes. It's shoes. She said it's a pair of high top white Reebok sneakers and a black baseball cap. So according to Sal Dvar, Selina was wearing.

the items at the time of her death. But Valdez intentionally left them out of the trial. When he mentioned them, he insinuated that Saldivar was wearing them and not Selena, which I don't know honestly what that changes. Obviously, it changes something

and she thinks that this is a big thing, but also bitch, you are hated by so many people. What do you think is going to happen to you if you get out of jail? Maybe just saying in jail. Yeah, I would be more frightened to be loose in the public, I think, if I were hurt.

I imagine she's probably not fully mentally there. No way. And she might have even convinced her. I'm going to shock you. I know. I think she could have possibly considered it herself to be. She convinced herself that it was actually not her. Maybe after all the years of being present.

And especially like with going through all that because she was stealing money from her for really long time. This was something that was, she obviously is completely mentally unstable. And the fact that she had a nine hour long standoff with police, after it had happened, threatening suicide, and then she got arrested.

It's like, woman, why even pay for people to go through this? It's such a waste of time. Yeah. So hopefully she doesn't get it. I'm going to say it's because of boredom. That's my guess.

I guess. I mean, it's got to be pretty boring in there. But you know what? Orange is a new black. Like, they have things to do. That's what they say. I know. They're always putting on plays and singing and like making stuff.

Yeah. Which is hopefully exactly what's going to happen when Felicity Huffman goes to jail for two weeks. Mm-hmm. Yes, she should go. She should go away for longer. I get it. I understand why the outrage. And at the same time, for a fucking woman of this, I feel like this is.

I feel like this is the type of person who always tries to be perfect, right? And this is a situation where her perfection is being ripped out from under her, and even just going away for two weeks is enough to be, like, devastating to her whole reputation. You know what I mean? Unless she wears it well, like Martha Stewart did. She won't. It's at least going to make it so that she is terminally fucked when it comes to, like, her social, Shalite bullshit. Well, also, and not to get toilet flush here, but I think that weirdly enough,

John Legend tweeted out in, not in defense of her, but in kind of like just in commenting on the whole situation, which I thought made a lot of sense. He's like, I get why everyone gets mad when rich person X gets a short sentence and poor person of color Y gets a long one. The answer isn't for X to get more. It's for both of them to get less or even none. We should level down, not up. Americans have become to set. sensitized to how much we lock people up. Prisons and jails are not the answer to every bad thing everyone does, but we've come to use them to address nearly every societal ill.

And again, we don't talk about politics on here, but I thought that that was actually a very good statement from John Legend. I totally, totally agree. And, but the thing I think this is bullshit about her reaction was I didn't, at least I personally haven't heard anything about her saying she feels ashamed. she realizes that this is a disgusting look for her. I heard her say she did it so that her daughter could get a fair chance at school. Like how fucking delusional do you have to be to think that that is what makes a fair chance at school?

I also think that it's bullshit that she was fined $30,000 because she should be paying a lot more than that. They should make her pay a bigger fine for sure. Say she should make her pay full tuition that she would have paid. Also, you know, not to toilet flush, not toilet flush, but I mean, that's its own issue. Our college admission system and the price for entry. And her actually thinking that with some weird logic because of how fucked it is for people to get into college. But sorry, not sorry, but also not sorry. Yeah, let's not put them in jail, but maybe let's like just take some of their blood.

I say we go back to bloodletting. I say if you, let's say you rob a bank. I want two jars of blood for every bank. you Rob. I want, if you try to get your fucking shitty idiot kid into school by cheating, you know, I'd say milk carton full of blood. Is the worst, the worst crime the more blood? Yes, and the more slugs. They should use slugs and put slugs all over because no one likes slugs on their box. Yeah. Boobox. Let's go back to Hook. Let's go do the boo box. You know what? I would be less inclined to do something wrong if I knew I had to go into the boot box.

Everybody has to participate in an episode of fear factor that ever jaywalk. Let's do weird stuff. Wait, are we turning into the Hunger Games? Is this because of Liam Hemsworth's divorce? Is that what's happening here? All I'm saying is that I've access to a remote island. I have taken many people prisoner inside of my own apartment right now. Oh my God, like Battle Royale.

That's right. Holden Epstein over here. That's right. And I'm going to. Do you have a Holden Epstein Island? Absolutely. about a temple. But it says no sex in a big sign in front,

and I totally am behind that. There's no sexual activity happening. It's all murder games. Okay. And I just, and every kid did something wrong. It's like the Willy Wonka's chocolate factory of shitty kids, and I'm dropping them all off,

and they're all going to fucking, I'm going to just break a stick in half and throw it at them, and we'll see what fucking goes down. I would love to see you in a battle royale situation. Natalie, you would win in a battle royale situation. I would try my, My best. I'll tell you that, Jackie. I feel like I do as well as I do in any general thing.

I would at least get one. There'll be at least one weaker than me. And I'll get them and then I'll immediately die. But I won't be the first one. I'll be the second. Yeah, I don't think that you would be able to do it. I don't think that you'd have the up, unless like they were going after Lexi.

I feel like Lexi would take care of you for further than that. Well, Lexi's kind of a part of like, she's like on my back. We're like one fighter. Oh, a unit. Yeah, and I like release, I like launch her at whoever I'm fighting, and she sort of does the dirty work. You throw your wife at the people. Yes, my wife is my weapon. My wife is my weapon.

You're not doing anything then. If someone is like, what is your chosen weapon, you can choose like a gun or a sword or a machete or a laser or something. I'll be like her. Wife is your weapon. Dude, she is like, she doesn't just love Chihuahuas for no reason. She is one in spirit, okay? She will fuck you. up. I think you're just making an excuse so that you can throw your wife in front of you.

Hell, yeah, I'm gonna be high as hell watching my wife decapitate some fucking moron. Oh, then you're gonna have sex with them on, yeah, on their decapitated body. Oh, dude, have you ever fucked with a bunch of other people's blood all over you? It's like one of the greatest sensations ever, Kanye West, with your cult, and I'm fucking coming for you, dude. I'm not gonna kill pregnant Tete. Tate. Pregnant Tate stays alive, okay? Kanye. I could see some blood rituals in a Kanye cult.

For sure. Oh, 100%. Oh, no. It's disgusting. I just feel like they're going to turn into that, like, cult of light. You know what I mean? Like, everything's like, oh, the light. The light, the light feeds us.

But then they're going to have... I don't think they're going to murder. They're not going to murder, right? I'm starting to get scared. You should get scared. I think you should. They're going to at least take advantage of the tax stuff. Okay.

That's point blank. All right. What do they do after that? Fucking gross. Well, they get bored after that. We're bored of taking advantage of the American tax system. We have more money than we could ever do with and we can't give it away. We have to hoard it all and then find some other way to feel anything at all and get high. And then the next

thing is, okay, we'll just do a bunch of drugs and have a bunch of sex. And you know what? That gets boring weirdly enough after like a year or two of it. And then they go, what else could be interesting? How about the world's most dangerous game? I have access to an island. I can't wait to take people to it. Or what celebrity got pregnant? Let's go to their Hollywood home. That's all I'm San, sorry, not sorry. You're scaring us. I am with you, Holden. I think you're completely correct.

And that's why you cannot get pregnant, Natalie, because he's coming for you. He's coming for you. It'll summon the Kanye. It'll summon the Yee-Ye-Ye spirit. Why won't you tell me not to get pregnant? It's because I'm not married. Are you saying because I'm not married?

I can't get pregnant. Exactly what I'm saying. I'm going to get pregnant tonight in my own childhood bedroom. Despite Holden. Yes. I think Gop Daddy has dead seed. How dare you. He's got so much seed.

It comes out of my pores and I can hear my pores crying because there's babies in them. Oh, the little sperms come wiggling out of your pores over there. And they're covered in little beards just like their father. That would hurt. It would hurt. It hurts, but it's worth it because his seed is strong. Bristles. I'm just looking forward to this.

this spite baby you're about to have. Oh, I'm having a spite baby. Oh, I'm having a, and I'm going to name it, Rhett Butler. And it's going to be, oh, my God, it's going to be smooth. It's going to have a tiny mustache on it. Didn't we just talk about you can't name your child

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You know what it is, too? It's crazy that Clark Gable was still fuckable in that movie, even though he had that teeny tiny mustache. He had such a tiny mustache, and I am not into tiny mustache, but you know what still would have slurped on it. John Waters. Did John Waters get his mustache from that?

Maybe. I don't know. Maybe. It's definitely still just as creepy. Yeah, he sort of turned it, though. He sort of turned the tiny mustache bad. You know what I mean? John Waters?

Yeah, yeah. He made it because John Waters is, I love the guy, but he's known for being like a seedy gross. he's like that's what he is like that's what he loves and I think that that's why he took he made it from he took it from classy to trashy is what I'm saying I think that's what I most of my life is taking things and turning them from classy to trashy yeah I think that makes it better oh I think it's time for the list oh say it who's on the list

It's making it to me. Jackie, got to have that list. I, you know what, we've done Hollywood Strangers, Fears and Fobias before, but this list had things on it that I was not aware of that I felt the need to talk about. All right, guys. So we're doing strange fears and phobias. Kylie Jenner is a free. Sorry, sorry, I don't mean to just, if I hear the name, I'd not try.

I completely understand. You're scared of billionaires. I she is That's my phobia Dust That's your Natalie's phobia Is

billionaires Self-made Billionaires Oh yeah Totally self-made And Kylie Gennar is scared of Dust in a cup

That's not a thing What does that mean? So she says The strangest thing I'm afraid of Is like Dust in a cup I don't know why

It's like One of my pet bees Is when there's a lot a dust in a cup and it's getting in my listen to this I can't listen to it. That's not a thing that people say. Natalie it's dust in a cup. I get it. Is that way in my eyes see dust in a cup?

If I see dust in a cup, I just can't. You know, all right, I'm going to go ahead and I have, I've got a confession to make, guys. There's a reason why everyone in my home has been calling me bug mouth. And it's because I had an open, sparkling water in a can

and we had a fly in the house and I didn't realize that the fly went inside of the cane and when I went to take a sip of it I felt something moving around in my mouth and I spit and I spit all the water all over the floor and the fly flew out of my mouth

which I almost threw up all over the floor you know what I'm my fear of is again bug in a cup bug in a cup is so disgusting I felt its big, juicy body hitting against my teeth inside of my mouth. At least you didn't crunch it. You didn't crunch it up.

And it was still alive. Aren't I stronger than that? You're such a fucking bug mouth. I'm a fucking bug mouth. And then Jeff gives me and he goes, yum, bug mouth. And I was like, yuck. You never say yum, bug mouth. So I feel like that's a rational fear because it's gross and it's just mortifying to have that happen.

And it happens. It happens. I think dust in a cup is like, I'm scared of symbols. Dust in a cup. I'm scared of like metaphors. Is that what it is? Is that a metaphor for her vagina as she's aging? Potentially.

Oh my God, it's aging vagina. It could be like political somehow. It's dust in a cup. That's what it is. It means cop webs in my fecese. That does sound like a good country song for a gal to sing. I got dust in my cup. And I need your dick to wick it out.

She's also Kylie Jenner scared of fucking butterflies. She is scared. She's terrified of butterflies. I think it's a jealousy thing. She knows that butterflies are more beautiful than her. And they'll always, not always, but always be more beautiful than her. Yeah. I just, this is terrible.

She said, she admitted her statement is ironic, considering that boyfriend Travis got gifted. the 20-year-old a diamond-studded butterfly necklace for her birthday, but she said, this is how I think of them. Cut the wings off. And if you just look at their bodies, they're just not that pretty. What?

The fuck. Literally a bug. Again, that's not a thing that you should think as a human being. Yeah. That sounds like a deep psychosis. There's something fucking wrong. Obviously, she's been abused her entire life. We all know that.

But that's a weird thing to think. It's really weird. You're just thinking about ripping their wings off. It's like, Kylie, you're beautiful. But if I ripped you open and I just saw your guts everywhere, you'd be just like this weird, gross corpse. You look at animals and you're like, oh, you know, if you actually just like cut their eyeballs out and took all their fur and ripped it off, they'd be gross. They'd be gross. Yucky dogs.

Jesus gross. But also, Kristen Bell is scared of pruny fingers. And I think that's very cute. I love this picture of her. Does she really actually wear these gloves every time she goes swimming? Dax Shepherd took a picture of Kristen Bell in the pool in July of 2018. They said, my bride wears gloves in the pool because she hates the feeling of pruny fingertips on her skin. Hashtag Holly Weird.

Hashtag I love her. Oh, that's cute. It's very cute. She really doesn't like pruny fingers. Never thought about being afraid of pruny fingers before. No, now I'm going to always be afraid. Now always be good. This is what we're doing here.

We're trying to have everyone live in constant fear. Just like Chloe Kardashian, who is terrified of belly buttons. Oh my God, but everyone has them. I hate belly buttons. I don't like fucking outies. She says you can't touch mine and I don't want to touch yours. When I'm in the shower, I wear hand mitts and I scream every time I wash my belly button. That again is a fucking weird.

I'm touching my belly button Oh Oh God It's where my mother fed me But nobody Nobody wants a finger inside their belly button I don't want anyone to touch my belly button I don't want anyone

Of course Also if you ever stuck your finger too far deep In your belly button and it feels weird in your ears Yeah it feels weird I get that But also it doesn't mean I'm scared I just imagine screaming every time

you wash your belly button and that just makes me smile. It does make me smile. I mean, I think this is a, this is an old hat. One Scarlett Johanson, scared of birds. Birds are very scary. I get it. They're deceptively scary. Like a goose, like if you ever been attacked by a goose, then you'll know true fear.

They're very scary. I love birds because they're scary. That's what I mean. I respect birds. I would never have a bird in a cage in my home because I think the bird should fly free. And I think that that's great. And I was watching this weird animal hospital show with my niece, and I was watching a macaw get surgered upon and their little rakes.

And it was a very, oh, my God, what are they called? Feckett foxes? Do you know these things? Feck and fox? Feck and fox. What's it called? Fecka fox? The ones with the big ears?

Oh, my God. There's fenick fox. Foxes. My niece introduced me to this thing. Look up a fucking fenik fox. I dare you. F-E-N-N-E-C fox. And my niece showed me what a fennic fox is.

And I want to be dead. It's like a final fantasy creature. It is a tiny-faced. It's the smallest fox in the world. My niece really, really loves animals. So she teaches me a lot. And they have a little cute little paws. And they have cute little face.

And they have these are big bad ears. I know. I can't. We looked at pictures of fennic foxes for way too long. I'm obsessed with them, and I want one. I feel like everything with giant ears is cute except for humans. That's the only time it's not acceptable. Unless they're babies, because babies with really big ears are the cutest thing in the entire world.

True. Yeah, I mean, like a grown adult named Larry. Larry's can have big ears. Oh, Larry. Larry's. No. Oh my God. Larry's a great name for my Phenic Fox.

I'm going to get one. That's true. I want to get seven of them, and one is going to be named Samuages, and the other one's going to be named Larry. I also love how Scarlet's quote here. They're like me. I don't know how I'm feeling about her these days.

Yeah, we're all tipsy, topsy, but at the same time, I want to see that fucking movie that's coming out with her and Adam Driver, the marriage story. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. That is, oh my God, I have to stop

looking at the pictures of the fennick foxes. I swear to Christ, I want to look at pictures of fennick foxes all day long. They've got little tiny noses and they are so fucking cute. I don't know what to do with my energy. I either need to get a dog or have a child soon

or else I'm worried. Dog, dog, dog, dog, dog, dog. I might, like, I'm worried I'm going to get a pillow and rub the pillow until it's nothing. You know what I mean? That's the energy I'm living in in my mid-30s. You should just like build a child out of like scraps, like little pieces of wood and stuff

like that and talk to it like it's real. No, like AI. Yeah, like AI. Except for you aren't a scientist, so you won't be able to build. I don't think it will actually be a robot if you just make it out of state. Oh, I was thinking of, wait, no, I was thinking of the Jude Law, Haley Joel Osmond movie. Yes, AI. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Right. But that still is on another. That's a robot, though, isn't it? Yeah, that's something you probably. a realistic looking child that actually talks and acts like a real boy. Yeah, but I also don't want a robot child either. That's the thing.

You're like, oh, AI, but it doesn't look like Haley-Jol Osman. It looks like a fucking monster those AI robots, okay? Yeah, I don't want the robot one because then also it's like, I want to see the look of love and fear and respect as he look as his mommy.

I want to be his mommy. I have to get out of my mother's home. I think this is the problem. Yeah, you get out of there right now. But also Christina Ritchie is scared of houseplants, and I think that that's a lot of fun. Feed Miss Seymour. She's so tiny.

I could see. I could see her being afraid of plants because she's so tiny and thin-boned. Yeah, she says, I could see how it would be intimidating. It's just a weird quote, if I have to touch one after already being repulsed

by the fact that there is a plant indoors, then it just freaks me out. Interesting. It's a lot. But I mean, I love it. I love the girl. I do love Christina Ricci. Why does she have to touch one? Who's making her touch a play?

I've never been in someone's home and they're like, touch the plat. The same with the belly button. What is this? I don't, I guess, yeah, I don't really clean. Is this weird to say? I don't really give a lot of attention to my belly button in the shower. I kind of just let the water run down and I don't really like, you know what I mean? I get in there.

I clean her out. You get in there? Maybe every once in a while I kind of give it a dig. You know what I mean? Yeah. You got to do it every once in a lot. It depends on how deep set. I got a fat belly.

So my belly button is like non-existent in my folds and my fat belly. I'm thin as a rail these days, Jackie. I'm really. No, my fat belly, I get to go looking for my belly button. And I go, are you still in there? It's like me with my penis. Just like you. I think about that every time I clean my belly button, I think about Holden and his penis.

Do you have a phobia of people touching and cleaning your penis, Holden? Absolutely not. I have an opposite. The opposite of a phobia. I have a love. lust for it. Yeah. Yeah, an enjoyment of that, actually.

Somebody wants to clean me. Oh, God. Everything's going so dark. I think I'm going. Blind. Uh, uh, items. We can't see them. How did you fuck it up?

How did I fuck it up this time? How did I fuck it up this time? All right, let me just say this. Okay, we're recording this in the morning. Okay? It's before I normally wake up. It is 11.30 in the morning. I am not running at full cylinders.

That's not the morning. It's a normal time to be doing business. All right. This A-list celebrity has been lashing out because she has seen as the reason this new network performance show has not reached its potential. Even if the show makes it,

she probably won't, which would be a big blow. Competition show. Network performance show. Okay, I'll also say it's a competition show. It's not Lilo, is it? No, it's not Lilo. I have to find a way.

way to see the Australian version of the mass singer, by the way. I need to see it. Dude, she is always in blind items, by the way. Like, there is a million fucking blind items stories about her in Australia being straight up a paid escort. Like, there was the whole story you sent about her hitting on Liam and Chris. She was hitting on Liam and Chris. Hemsworth, which is like, hit me up.

I'm in Cindy. Let's hang out. Luck be a Lilo tonight. She is on fire out there in Australia. Hell yeah, she is. No, this, all right, A-list celebrity. And she's not known for what the show is. I think that's like, we'll get into that.

Are you talking about the voice and Gwen Stefani? It is not a singing or dancing competition show. It's not a singing or dancing competition show. Is it comedy show? Maybe. Oh, is it? Fuck, what's your name? Henry hates it.

Henry fucking hates it. Oh, yeah. So it's the stand, it's the laugh show. We like laughs. It's not Chrissy T because I know Chris. Is it Chris Tegan? Yes, Christy Tegan and Bring the Funny. Yeah.

Bring the funny. Well, she's not a comedian. It makes no sense that she's even a fucking judge. She's like funny on Twitter. The problem is that when you, there is such a big difference of being funny via social media and little clips. She's a naturally very funny person. I will give that to her. Sure.

I think that she's very funny. But she doesn't mean to be, I think, all the time, as funny as she is. There's difference between being funny on Twitter. and like putting fucking hours into live performance. Have you watched the show? No, I'm terrified of that. I hate comedy competition. Because we actually, when we were visiting with Linda last time, Jackie,

they liked that show. So we watched this story. And I'm going to say that she's pretty on brand for the kind of comedy. The show portrays. That's just low-key shading the whole. whole thing. One of the other host is Jet Foxworthy. It's very, very accessible for all audiences.

I will say this, though, about Jeff Foxworthy. Put in hours upon hours of performance. He is not my kind of comedian, but he is a very good, well-known comedian. For sure. He's put the time in. For sure. An anonymous source told Radar Online that after she was brought up as a potential host, quote, there were objections in the room right away,

a source told fame, which is a column for, I forget what, radar, I think, radar online. Why are we hiring a former supermodel to judge a comedy competition, but the decision was made anyway, and now there are regrets. And apparently if it gets a new season, she will be replaced with a person with a comedy background. I feel like it's the same kind of thing, though, too,

when people are like, oh, I'm bunning, I can be a comedian. Where it's like, okay, I'm not saying you can't be a comedian. But do you realize the work and the time you have to put in to be funny on purpose? It's actually, it's a choice. You have to be good at that. It's separate to work at it. There is no sort of improv skills needed on that show, though. They do very prepared skits in between.

And normally I would hate you referring to it as skits, but in this situation, that's what they are. That's what they are. They're totally skits. For sure. Yes. I'm aware of the. word I use. All right.

All right, that's my two cents. I felt like that was through gritted teeth being as polite as humanly possible. That was great. That was great. That was good. It was good. That was like perfect like tone and everything. Okay.

This former MTV star will return any second they actually give her an offer. She is desperate to return. Now it is a decision by the producers whether the guaranteed aggravation slash headache slash people that will quit is worth a bump in the ratings. Snucky. Snooky, no, I wish it. I hate this person.

Snooky is actually, I think, more palatable than this human being. Tila tequila. Oh. No, but man, you just named one that's real on the level. I feel like this person's even worse than Tila Tia.

I've like held off on bringing her up in blind items, even though she's always in them because she's such an attention person. Attention person. Fair, very. Fair, fair. Fair is a word you could say that might sound similar a bit or lead you towards. That is a word that sounds like.

It's not fair of Abraham, is it? Absolutely is fair of Abraham. Ex-co-co-star Caitlin Lowell, when asked by U.S. Weekly about Abraham, bringing Abraham back. Absolutely not. She hasn't changed as a person. She even said she would only come back if things were her way. She's still the self-righteous person. She always has been.

And we don't need that type of attitude in our loving group. It's insane the fact that, like, I read through celebrity websites every day, every week, and I read about her so often. And I think I, when was the last time I've even said her name aloud on this show? Because she is not to say, I'd like to be positive, but she's a bottom feeder of humanity. Yes. And it really, I just, her presence and the fact that she is still relevant is insane to me. I don't know who this person is.

Oh, I mean, I feel bad now because I just, like, kind of turned you towards a dark place. Natalie, and I apologize now for that. I thought that you'd already known her. I will say, don't say her name too much because I do feel in my heart that it will conjure her. And it will, or make her more powerful. Yes, or make her somehow more powerful. She's from teen mom. Oh.

Yeah, she started off with teen mom. And then she got into porn to, like, try to, like, try to, you know. And she was, like, on Celebrity Big Brother. She's like, so she's just like, she's a scourge of the reality show. Yes. Basket, which is insane to say. I can't watch team mom. It makes me too sad.

Yeah, yeah. She sexualizes her daughter and makes her daughter do all. Like, it's just very upsetting. And then she was, like, even just like, just as a, as a little, like, glimpse into what she has. Like, you think that I would think that this is very funny, but she was in, I believe it was in Venice. or she was in some film festival recently that she quote unquote accidentally showed her bare pussy

while with her daughter on the red carpet of like, oops, look at my perfectly like blanched pussy. Oh no. Did everyone see it? Did you see how toned it was? Like, oh.

So gross, dude. But now we're going to get the next Lindsay Lowhan though, right? Is she the new Dina? I she's way worse Lindsay Lohan at least established some talent But yeah she's definitely more a Dina

She's like a Dina Yeah she's a Dina Yeah yeah Oh she a Dina All right last one Speaking of cheating This foreign born one named A list singer was told by her ex

That he was working on not cheating On the singer any longer And wanted to save their relationship Not so much I mean the guy picks up women Saying he is the significant other of the singer Working on not cheating Yeah working on not cheating anymore

Yeah working on not cheating. I've been there. We're all working on it. Yeah. One word singer. Wait, one word singer. Madonna. No. More, almost more obvious because we know she's been going through this kind of thing. She knows about the cheating. And I know it's not Adele because... It is Adele. Simon Kinecki and Adele. Yeah, yeah. People reported on Thursday that

Adele officially filed for divorce from her husband in Los Angeles. How fucking dare he that piece of garbage? I thought they already filed for divorce. No, they were separating They announced a separation, yeah But they didn't actually file for divorce And you know what, I hate it Because he is very attractive I'll give him that

But Adele is perfect All of her albums are only about sorrow In relationships So this is gonna help her Yes, we're very... Jackie and I are very excited about this next album I hate that that makes me feel gross But I'm very excited for the next album

Because it's gonna be fucking fire That's all I got It's gonna be fire Thank you guys. I'm sorry that you guys had to sit through listening to me sound terrible, but, you know, sometimes you got to record an episode. And that's just how it is. I hope that you made it through. And if you are still listening, even though I sound like a trash compactor, like a frog woman, that's not a secret princess. If you kiss me, I love you and I appreciate you. And my name is Jackie Sopraski. You can follow me on Instagram, but Jack. That word. Holda McNeely, Twitch.TV forward slash Holdenaders Ho, Friday Oudnights, we do Jack and these. Also, hey, check out the Patreon. Patreon. Patreon.com forward slash page 7 podcast. We've got bonus content every week. And yeah, we're pumping out lots of new stuff for you guys. We hope you're enjoying those pop history. I'm sorry, we changed the title to True Hollywood Story that we've been releasing. We're going to keep putting those out. And Natalie. Natalie. I'm Natalie Jean at the Natty Jean on all the bullshit. And my voice is always terrible, so I apologize for the way I was born. How dare you not true. We love you.

Bye. We're sorry. We love you. We'll talk to you next week. I swear I'll sound better. Bye. Bye. Bye. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors, you can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.