Page 7 - Episode 325: Slug Sisters
Episode Date: October 18, 2019We goss about Zoë Kravitz getting cast as the new Catwoman, our deep love for Billy Porter and how high maintenance we'd be if we were Mariah Carey level divas. Big ups to all our Patreon su...pporters! Want to help out Page 7 and get oodles of bonus content? Support us today! Go to http://framebridge.com and use promo code PAGE7 and you’ll save an additional 15% off your first order. Go to http://honeybook.com/page7 for 50% off your first year. Just go to http://stamps.com, click on the microphone at the top of the homepage, and type in PAGE7 to claim your special offer today! For 15% off your purchase of $100 or more including sale items through the end of October, go to http://modcloth.com and enter code page7 at checkout. Bossa Antigua, Bossa Bossa, Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/ Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
We're doing a song altogether because Natalie infected us.
Why?
And you fall and you talk.
Does she say, she doesn't say masturbated?
I think, I only think she says,
you da, hava, hava, yeah.
That's a, I don't know, I don't get.
Yeah, yeah, I think it's a different language that part.
Natalie, actually, very important question that I didn't realize I had for you.
Did you ever wear socks on your arms?
Ah.
No, I was in the punk scene at that point and there were a couple girls who wore socks.
on their arms, but it was because of heroin.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, no, I don't.
Yeah, oh, I never thought about that.
Yeah.
That's kind of handy.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's a cute accessory for your drug addiction.
Is that what scrunchies are for?
Oh, my God, that's why scrunchies are in.
It's because heroin's back on the sea.
Yeah, everybody's wearing them on their elbows.
I'm gonna, yeah, bow crunchies.
I like my bows, crunchy.
Uh-huh.
That's not.
I'm cool.
Hey guys, welcome to page 7.
My name is Jackie Soproski.
Hi, everybody.
My name is Holt McNeely, and I'm just letting Jackie run with it today.
I'm giving her the ball, and I'm just saying, you know what?
You're on fire today.
Just take it and run with it.
Please don't do this.
I'm Natalie Jean, and my voice is a little scratchy today,
so it was extra special that I got to sing at the beginning.
I think that you sound sexualized in a fun way.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Maybe it's because we're all smoking cigarettes.
again. No. Oh no. I have dreams about that all the time. I have anxiety.
Anxiety dreams. Yeah. No, I get, I get them constantly and I wake up and I smell all my clothes.
I'm like, I didn't. I didn't. I didn't. I didn't do it.
And I'm proud of you. But the problem is I've been rewatching Party Down and they smoke
cigarettes in it that it makes me, there are certain shows, and not every show, but BoJack
Horseman and Party Down makes me want to smoke cigarettes.
But I feel a little nihilistic sometimes I want to pick one up, but then I don't really.
Because then I'd just be sick afterwards.
That new Joker movie, I was just like, ooh la la, let me have a mental breakdown while smoking the tobacco.
I'm so hot.
You know what I mean?
Oh, yeah.
No, I know exactly what you mean because he smoked so many cigarettes in that movie.
But then I just kept thinking about all of the movie times herbal cigarettes that they have to smoke.
And have you ever had to smoke one of those because they hurt like, fuck.
By the way, I want to mention the moment that I heard about Henry watching the Joker in the movie theater where a man sat,
behind him near the end of the movie and he got up and watched the ending of it by the doorway
by the doorway because he was scared because he was stoned and alone and I think that should be the new
naked and alone it's called stoned it alone and it's a following people that get really stoned
and go go to the movie go to places where there's frequent mass shootings at the airport
yeah no I'm oh my problem is I fly so often and yet still I always get way too
stoned before I get to the airport.
And then I regret it. And then I'm in the TSA and I was like, why did I do this?
Why have I done this to myself?
But when you get to the bar and you're just at that and you breathe that breath of relief
and slam whatever alcoholic drink you need to slam to make yourself okay with being how high
you are, that is a good feeling, that moment.
I don't drink at the airport, though. I get sickies on the plane.
Yeah, that's the problem with drinking on the flight or before the flight is by the end of
the flight, you're either hammered or you're sobering up.
And then you have to be sick for the rest of the day.
Man, I remember that one time we did, Henry and I did that.
We got hammered before we were on our flight from New York to Florida for Christmas.
And of course, my mom always shows up with, like, the whole family,
and they wait at the airport to pick us up, and they get so excited.
And Henry and I got hammered.
I threw up through most of the flight because we were so drunk when we got on the plane.
And then also not only sobering up, but feeling bad,
and then just being like, like, showered,
with love and attention, which is nice, in theory.
But it's not.
A lot of questions.
So many questions, and you're just like, yes, yes, yes.
I love you too!
We just asked you if you have AIDS?
Is that your...
Maybe.
Maybe. I don't know it all.
I don't know if I shared the needle.
Mom, I'm sorry.
And then you cry all the way home.
And then you wear socks on your elbows.
And they, oh my God, we have our bows crunchies.
Sox in the hands.
Socks on the hand.
That's the, if the face ain't listening, right?
Sox on the hands.
If I don't care about what someone is saying, just slowly putting socks on my hands.
Okay, I see what you're doing.
I see what you're doing there.
Okay, girl.
And I get it.
All right.
You are uninterested of what I have to say right now about fall.
I get it.
Okay.
I got it.
Natalie, how is your 31 for 31
Horror Fest going?
Good.
Doesn't sound like it's a job.
It is a part-time job trying to keep up with this.
You know what it is?
After we went on a fun anniversary weekend.
Happy anniversary, by the way.
Thank you.
Thank you. I was waiting.
We went on a little, it was our first year anniversary
of our wedding, and we went on a little trip,
and then Henry had to go.
go shoot and then trying to catch up on life after being gone for no more than three days.
Yeah.
I have not been able to do anything at home, including watching a movie.
I understand.
I haven't.
I don't think Henry's still keeping it up.
Good for him.
On his shoot.
On his shoot.
And by the way, when Natalie says shoot, she actually means nowadays he has to go to a gun range for long periods of time and just fire guns off until he sort of feels as he puts it normal again.
Yeah, I didn't know that's what he meant at first, but I realized now, as his wife, when he says he's going on a shoot.
I think it may, you know what, as long as it keeps his head under control, I am fine with it.
That's how I feel about anyone.
But ever, I just imagine him even trying to hold a gun and being like, ha, ha, ah, ah, ah.
He wants to get a gun in the house, and I told him he can't until he's, he's just, his problem is that he just wants to be able to take care of you if you are ever assaulted, but you are a,
a stunt woman and you could definitely a thousand percent take care of yourself and take care of him.
I do also think that he does want to just have a gun and just like stroke it sometimes, you know,
just like look at it and feel the steel under his hand.
The problem is it just makes me think of Robocop and how, like, I just imagined him playing with it
so that he could spin it and put back into the holster.
But then that's how people like, yes.
Shoot their toes off.
Yes.
Yes.
It would be pretty funny.
Yeah, I just dropped Robocop.
By the way, guys,
I just wanted to let you guys know that I read two Batman comics over the weekend.
Oh, my God.
You are such a dork.
I'm nerd girl now.
Podcasts, they're just like us.
They're just like us.
They read Zoo Batman Comics,
and it's not because it's not a how do you like your egg situation from Runaway Bride.
It's because Godfaddy was telling me about this.
I guess it's like the comic, the Joker,
like when they originally pulled the inspiration from it, it's called The Killing Joke.
Yes, by Alan Moore.
And, yeah, it's sort of, it's an origin story for the Joker.
Alan Moore, of course, prolific with the watchman and his run on Swamp Thing.
I'm actually reading right now.
He's a wizard, by the way.
He's a wizard, oh, then.
A self-professed wizard, and he looks like one, too, but go on.
Wait, what kind of wizard does he look like, like a sexy wizard?
Like a warlock, you know what I mean?
Like, no, I wouldn't say, well, I guess darkly.
Oh, he looks so smart.
Oh, my God, his hair.
Oh, he's ethereal.
Wow, like the wind blowing photo.
Wow, he is.
I would climb that.
Okay.
He's definitely got a Hagrid vibe.
Yeah.
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
Yeah, he's a lot of fun.
We actually did an episode on him for Wizard in the Bruiser.
Killing jokes, great.
You also read, what was the other one you read?
Holiday.
Holiday.
Holiday.
How about the holiday killers were like all of them.
I don't know.
I felt like it was like a very special Batman
where it's like, everybody's here.
I know that one.
I know that one.
And then like Catwoman comes in.
And then the Riddler's there.
And it's like toothpaste and all that kind of stuff.
But you know what?
Didn't know.
I'm saying this.
I'm going to go ahead in a minute.
First, outside of like I read like the Renan Stimpy comics.
And, you know, I read I think Rocko's Modern Life comics.
Did you ever read Johnny the Homicitomaniaciac?
No.
I did.
My jam.
Yeah.
Why?
What happens to that one?
Is it like Johnny Bravo?
Do you remember Invader Zim?
I've heard of it, but I've never seen it.
It's the same guy who made Invader Zim,
again, was the Brewster did an episode on that as well.
And John the Homestadomaniac, it's like this goth kid
that is what the title purports, which is a,
he murders people.
Yeah, it's a cute little cartoon where there's like lots of murder.
Ooh.
Oh, okay, I just looked it up.
I remember the, and then it does look a lot like Invader Zim.
Yeah. Oh, that's cool. I would read that.
So now it's like, I'm just trying it out.
Because I'm like, why not?
And when it comes down to, like, comic, like, issued comic books,
those are the only ones I'd ever read.
Because I read, like, Mouse, which is very upsetting.
Yeah, mouse is great.
And, but I, um, it's really dark.
And the way that Goddadi had sold it on me is that he told me, like,
kind of what happens with it, what they do with, like, Commissioner Gordon.
And essentially, like, he's on this, like,
waney, Zachie, wiki, wiki, wacky roller coaster.
Wayne Zaki.
Wow! Now I've heard everything.
I'm sorry, I should wait till the list to say,
now I've heard everything, but wadyzaki.
It's a waintyzaki.
And it's like, because the Joker really hurts his daughter
and then straps him into this roller coaster to make him mad
while he took a bunch of naked photos of her after the Joker had shot her in the stomach
and then undressed her took all these photos
and then just like made him ride on this roller coaster on a loop.
It's almost like the bone crusher.
in nothing but trouble, except with pictures of his naked and shot daughter.
Yeah, so it's like, I heard that and I was like, well, that's creepy, deep.
Actually, technically, it's Wainey Zaki.
And so I decided, and so God that he bought it for me.
It's great.
I thought that Wainey Zaki was when you urinated yourself in a hall of mirrors.
Been there.
Done that.
Done that, pee-p.
No, that's not what it means.
But I was excited.
So how do we guys, how do we guys speak?
Me guys, me guys feel very excited for gossip celebrity style.
What is wrong with you?
Don't give me the ball.
Someone take the ball away for me today.
I don't deserve it today.
You're our mommy.
I'm the mommy.
I'm taking the ball away from you, but oh my God, what's this?
I'm giving you a bigger ball.
Oh, no.
I can't put my mouth on this ball.
This is like what being a mom is, I think.
where you don't feel like being the boss
and you've got screaming people in your face,
but then you still have to be in the charge.
You just have to keep going, keep going.
But then when, I mean, I guess,
technically, it is before noon
and the drinking has already started,
which I imagine is what would happen if I was a mom.
Yeah.
Always drinking, never smiling.
No, I'd probably smile after I got drunk.
But Zoe Kravitz is going to be the new cat woman.
Oh, my God!
I live in a home,
with people that are very invested in
this is going to be in the new Robert Pattinson
movie and if you listen to
last week's Brighter Side with Henry
and I on it about obesity
we, Henry talked
about a lot that if you were fatter he would be
the new penguin in the
new Batman movie with Robert Pattinson as
Batman. But he's
not and I think there's
I guess this talk is going to be Jonah Hill.
Yeah, which he would love to hear.
Oh no, I hope that's not true.
That is it. I'm not very. We're on
I think it's actually very true.
Yeah, real, real upsetting.
It's going to be a dark day.
He's also,
Jonah Hill's also in talks
to be starring in the Dr. Robotnik
origin story.
Just called the Eggman,
which is coming out in 2022.
Egg man.
They're going to get there at some point.
Yes, they definitely will.
I thought Jonah Hill also lost weight, though.
He goes back and forth.
He doesn't.
He fluctuates.
Yeah, but then so it's going to be Zoe Kravitz.
But the things at first when I heard it, I was like,
hell yeah, Zoe Kravitz, you fucking get it,
because apparently she's also the voice in Lego Batman of Catwoman.
But she was up against Zazi Beetz,
and I fucking love Zazi Beetz so much,
and it made me very sad that Zazzi Beetz is in Atlanta.
She's in another one of the, another horror, what is it?
I mean, superhero.
She was in Joker?
Wasn't she?
Yes, yeah, yeah.
She's the woman in Joker.
She's great.
She's really solid.
she's an amazing actress
so she was up against Zazi Beetz
for the role
and I really would have rather
had seen Zazi Beats in it
because I think that I
in my head I want to have so much
sex with Catwoman and I've always
wanted to have so much sex with Catwoman
and I think it's really what it is I'd rather have sex with Zazzy Beats
than I would with Zoe Cravitz
Zoe Kravitz
I guess my load has already been blown
figuratively to
Michelle Fifer so for me it's like
Like, I can't picture another masturbation-worthy catwoman greater than her.
Yes.
Yeah, and also with Zoe Kravitz, it would be awkward because isn't her stepdad, like, one of also your favorites?
Jason Momoa.
Yeah.
When Jason Momoa came out, and he's just like, he's so proud of her and he's so happy for her.
But you can't have sex with him and his stepdaughter because you will just ruin the family.
That's why I'm separated from them.
According to Porn Hub, that is not only acceptable, that is actually the most desired outcome.
Yeah, it's encouraged.
I know, I know.
What, stepfather and stepdaughter?
Just any step, anything.
I can't even look at porn sites anymore.
It is all family.
It is definitely all.
It's so gross.
Why do they need us to do that?
I don't understand.
I guess people just need whatever is the only taboo.
They need to be perverted in order to check off.
I mean, I'd rather that than, you know, I mean, I know that I talk about my daddies a lot,
but I'd rather that than.
like babies, like baby daddy daddy's.
Like baby babies? Like the ones that are like
18 but look like they're probably, they look like they're 12.
Oh, well yeah, I mean, that'll never go away completely probably, but
I don't know. I think I'd rather watch step kid and step parent at least.
Adult step kid?
Yes.
Yeah, I'd rather adult. I guess if my options are
child looking girl or adults. Always have to choose.
Family members. I mean, honestly, there was
this whole thing where I, did I talk about, I talked about this recently.
I was listening to an interview with this guy who did a bunch of research on porn hub
and different porn sites.
And it is actually true.
If you are a porn actress in like your 30s, it's harder to find work because right now
it is either milf or girl.
And there's no like, totally in between.
And as a man who's in his 30s, I'm looking for what they can't get, you know, the
actresses that are, you know, having a harder time because I feel weird sort of being turned on
by a younger on the younger side um older side that's still fun but sure but i think that's actually
a metaphor for our society which is like there's a place for very young girls in a place for like
older women which is an older women it's like it sucks but they get there's a position for them
right and women in their like 30s and 40s are just kind of like what do you want from us like
we're only supposed to be like these receptacles of like children i actually really enjoyed it too
I was just watching, I don't know if you're caught up with Big Mouth,
but in Big Mouth season three,
the Menopause Banshee comes in,
and the Menopause Banshee is played by Carol Kane,
and, like, he's voiced by Carol Kane,
and it made me so happy,
because it's actually, like, pro-menopause was like,
you can fuck whenever you want.
Oh, yeah, I'm all about it.
It's like, you don't have to worry about any of that shit ever again.
Like, it's a pro-menopause stance, which is,
and it's like, you can scream,
and people will listen to you.
We're ahead of the game on this.
Remember, we tell you.
talked about this like a month ago at least we'd said we there should be menopause parties oh yeah
yeah yeah it should be a celebration i'm so about it i think because like for many generations
it was sort of the idea was women were like you are just creating other people and then you're done
your job's over but that's not really i saw the witch i know what they want us for that's not
actually when life is the best like as a chick 30s and 40s 50s 60s like you're rocking it it just
gets better and better, better.
Fuck that shit.
Hell yeah.
I wish I could go through menopause.
Yeah, thanks, Holden.
You're welcome.
You're welcome, ladies.
He's so woke.
Oh, my God.
I'm so, like, on it.
That's what everyone in the internet says about me,
how woke I am.
Everyone says it.
They won't stop saying it.
You wish you had a uterus just so it could dry up.
Like a little raisin inside the air.
Right now, Natalie, we've got gushy grapes inside of us.
We're making wine
I want an egg
I want to be an egg
I want to be like a bird
with an egg
None of it
You get none of it
You know what we do get to do
Whenever we want is watch
Candyman
Guys I have to talk about it
Because I'm very very excited
Because we were watching Candyman
On Friday night
And I love Candyman
Candyman is one of my favorite movies
Oh yeah
Camden is fucking wonderful
And I was watching it with some people
that had never watched Candyman before,
which was also a lot of fun.
And we just kept talking about how the kid and Candyman
is one of the best parts,
because he's wise beyond his years.
And when she asked him, like,
are you scared of Candyman?
He just looks at her and goes,
I ain't scared of nothing.
And he's great.
He's a great kid actor.
So over the weekend,
Gauthetti and I were vending some of his wares,
and this dude walks up and is like,
you got none of his,
you had no Candyman up here.
And Jeff was like,
We were literally just talking about doing a candy man design
because we just kept talking about Candyman,
and it was the little kid from the movie.
And I made me so excited, except for it.
He's like, yeah, I'm DeWan Guy.
And we're like, what do you mean?
I'm sorry, what does that mean?
He's like, I'm Dewan guy.
And he kept saying I'm DeWan guy, but I didn't know what that meant.
And also, he was saying, I'm the one guy.
The one guy.
And we're like, but which one?
Oh, no.
How did he never, how does he not get that?
all the time when he says, I'm to one guy.
He must.
But it is sort of like a racist who's on first.
Right.
It was very, and I was like, no, it's great.
No, it's totally understandable.
Yeah.
It was very, it was actually very funny because we all laughed about that.
And we made the, and he's like, no, no, no, that's actually my name.
And man, did he cap staring at my tits?
Yeah.
So I could have slept with the little boy and Candyman.
That's fun.
What would you, what would you do with them?
Would you throw him around?
Would you let him take him?
I put a hook on my hand.
I'd make him wrong.
And then I'd hide in a big barrel of trash, and then I'd have him set me on fire.
Well, coincidentally, that's the only way he can ejaculate.
He's watching someone being burned to death.
Just get a giant man-sized hamster wheel, and you just chase after him with a...
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, it was a lot of fun.
But I thought that was kind of a fun.
And also another Kismet celebrity siting with that.
I thought it was just very...
It was kind of fun.
Yeah.
I think I talked about it on here.
but I did the convention with the child's play kid oh yeah no you didn't talk about that on
here no no oh oh yeah when I was doing oh when I was deeper in the horror scene
oh my god by the way that all said that whole I don't know if you're not getting you did 90
day right now oh yeah all right Natalie please get us off of no you're about to get on you day
uh no just uh when I was doing horror conventions
more I was
like a guest at
a horror convention in Chicago and the other
guest was the kid from Child's Play
and I could have
slug with him as well. Wow!
So that would have been a fun sister
bonding moment. That would have been.
Would that make us Eskimo brothers?
Kind of. Right?
I think it's kind of like through horror. I think it makes you
slug sisters. I think it actually
is what... I love that. Don't put salt on us.
Slug sisters.
I've got intent.
When you have sex with former child stars of horror films.
That makes you a slug sister.
No, that just makes, oh, God, it makes me think of Judy Gemstones and the Righteous
Gemstones when she said, I just sat up and it was like there was a snail underneath me.
Righteous Gemstone is one of the best television shows I've ever seen.
It's so good.
Judy Gemstone, I think, is one of my favorite female characters.
I will say that.
I do got to watch it.
Talk about two of my other favorite female characters.
Nikki Minaj, even though she just said that she's retired.
She did.
Is not retiring.
She's actually just revealed that she's doing a collaboration with Adele.
What?
Yes.
I'm sorry, Holden.
I didn't even send this to you because it just came out.
It came out like an hour and a half ago.
I don't think there's any actor or musician who says they're retiring and they actually retire.
Yeah.
Except for Rick Moranis.
I think people should stop, especially if you're a musician.
Do I even announce a retirement?
other than just for ticket sales because you never have to actually retire.
At any point, you could get on a stage and play a couple songs, and voila, you are no longer
retired.
So just, I get it because, like, you know, it's a way to get people to like, you know, it's a way
to really sell out a lot of shows, but you look foolish.
You're crying wolf.
Yeah, you're going to want to get on stage again.
You're going to want to do it.
It's in your bones.
It's in your body.
Again, we also say this, but I remember I went to Shania.
Twain's good like farewell tour because it's like well if it's the last time I can see
should I twain and it worked she's still doing shows yeah yeah yeah she just openly lied
and no one can't ever call I mean I guess they call people out but also what are you gonna say
yeah you can't really that's the thing is what are you gonna do if they go back do better
no stop doing it you bad you liar bad but I also do think it's a lot of fun because I am as
much as I have gotten my feelings about James Corden.
I had watched Adele on Carioki because I love Adel so much.
And Carpool Karaoke is legitimately great also, just as in general.
It is. Also, did you watch the recent chance?
Chance the rapper was on one.
I haven't yet. I haven't yet.
It's delightful. It's just goddamn delightful.
And I hate how fucking delightful it is.
And Adele was on and she sang, she had wrapped all of Nikki Minaj's monster lyrics.
She did.
Right?
Yeah.
So she's been,
so she is a huge fan of Nikki Minaj
and I just want to say,
go for her.
You get it, girl.
The fact that you got Nick,
I mean, Adele can do whatever she wants,
but I bet she was still excited
the fact that she got Nikki Minaj.
Yeah.
Oh, I bet.
And I'm going to listen to the fuck out of that
because I know that we're all excited
because Adele is going through
this terrible divorce.
So that means it's going to be a great album.
She needs to you.
She can't write songs without ending a relationship.
You can feel how much
that the songs were,
Right. I love when we were young, which was one of her hits off her last album, but like, girl, I know that it's a lie.
Even though I could feel the feelings in the song, but I know it's a lie because at the time she was in love.
Yeah, I don't like it. I don't like it. Is that the album that won over lemonade?
Yes. Yes, see, that's bullshit. How dare you, Natalie? Don't as a my slug sister. I hold on a mania. I also love lemonade.
I just need people to know that. Love a lemonade. I think that's really good. I do. I do.
love lemonade. It should have won. You're right. It should have won over that, because
especially with everything that Beyonce did, but I do love that Adele was so surprised that she
went on stage. It was like, Beyonce, I don't know how I got this and you didn't do it. I don't
hate Adele for it, but Lemonade should have won. Yes. I love how Beyonce, it consistently
gets people getting on stage and telling her she should have won the award over whoever won
the award. Like, no one else gets that treatment.
Because she's Beyonce.
She's Beyonce.
She can do whatever the fuck she wants.
Everybody else just gets there.
How do you guys feel, too, when people get up there and they're just like, before I even
accept this, I just want to say all the ladies I was in competition with, you guys are just
so amazing.
You know, like that weird shout-out.
You don't think it's nice?
You don't think it's nice?
I don't know, because I feel like then they cut to them and they're all kind of like in their head.
They're just kind of like, you know.
You could do it in a way that's actually very catty because then they do cut to the people
who just lost and you just look at them
going like, oh,
yeah, thank you.
That's why if I ever win anything,
like until all the ladies I'm up against,
fuck you, fuck you, fuck you,
I'm the winner.
I'm the fucking winner, bitches.
That would be so delightful.
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slash page 7. Someday I'm
going to be like Meryl Streep and I can do whatever
I want. Right. I hope
for that. Isn't that the overall goal
of like everybody?
Oh, you have to go.
I don't get her off the stage.
And that will be your
and you're accepting.
And everyone says, I want to be the girl in the
dress. And then I hunged her and
squeezed up. And she
Are you the abominable snowman?
And I squeezed him and I called him George.
I was doing Lenny from a Viconeman,
but yes, the abominable snowman in Lidoo's.
Which is based on that.
Parity of Liddy from a Vyton.
Oh, everything's based on.
Everything based on it.
But I do really want you to get an award now someday, Holden,
so that you can do that speech.
So I can do that speech just said,
I'm so thankful for every man.
And everyone will think like, oh my God,
he is such a great actor,
because this is how he sounds all the time.
How did he get a woman to fall in love with him?
And I just want you to urinate because you're so excited on stage.
And then Lexi comes up behind you and starts like strapping the diaper on you.
I'm sorry.
He's too excited, y'all.
I'm very sorry.
That's the trick though, right?
I actually heard that in an interview.
What's his name?
What's the guy in the gay couple and modern family?
The one that's slightly bigger.
What's his name?
Eric Stone Street.
He's amazing.
and he's a really good on podcast.
And he talked about how he would go in
and purposely play stupid.
He would go in and be like,
they'd be like, there's the mark.
Where?
What?
Wait, you want me to stand right here?
And like purposely act like a fucking idiot.
And then as soon as they said action,
just nail it.
And that's how he said he got.
And that's how he gets it.
That's how he said he got like a million commercials
was doing that trick.
He's really funny.
Yeah, he's very funny.
And he's very talented.
And that is to even just,
have the balls to do that in an
audition room is so crazy to me
like to act like a complete
fucking moron and then just turn it on
I think that's always what they say
too it's like the main thing that you should usually
do to get apart is to act
and really truly not give a fuck
and that it really does help you get things
so maybe that's part of it and uh
I don't I mean it's probably a little controversial
but he's not
he's not actually gay I believe and he's
not effeminate at all
in his real life
And I could see people getting mad about that
But also he does a great job
Yeah, he's very good at the show
Yeah
But also it is weird because if you look up Eric Stone Street
Underneath it just says gay for pay
Oh, so he's a porn?
It's like a porn...
No, I think they're making jokes
I think they're making jokes at him
For not being gay but also getting a gay man's role
I see, I see
Which that's not fair
You know what, he got it
It has nothing to do with him
It's the same when everyone ripped apart Russell Crow
for him getting cast in Lameiz.
No, I did not like him in Lameiz.
And I think that Chauver deserves
to have a stronger singer, for sure.
But you know what?
He can't control that.
He got the role.
And he did what he could do.
I'm with you.
I also, I validate your feelings.
Thank you.
I validate your feelings.
Oh, you weren't talking to me.
She wasn't talking to easy.
Don't validate me.
She's validating my feelings.
Your feelings.
Holden and I validate your feelings.
And then other people
who feel the other way,
about it I validate your feelings too.
Thank you. You know who doesn't validate
anyone's feelings? Mariah
fucking Carrie. That is accurate.
I love this.
I immediately clicked on this.
I saw this headline. It says Mariah Carey had a brutal response
to Nick Cannon saying he wants to remarry her,
which she didn't really say it.
But he was so Nick Cannon was on T.I's podcast last month
and T.I. asked if he would ever
get married again.
And Nick Caden's response was, honestly, I said I would probably never get married again because I'm still working on myself and trying to become a better man.
That's what I said.
But if I had to, I already know what that's like.
I would go back home first before I had to do it again.
And he was in reference to his marriage with Mariah Carey, and they shared two children.
And my favorite is Mariah Carey's response to it was just remarry.
Wait, remarried.
This is him making this up.
and silly. What is he?
My last hope?
What is he? My last
hope is so, it is brutal.
This wasn't clickbaiting.
If someone read, like, if my ex
like, what is she? My last hope?
I would be pretty devastated.
Like, ouch, ouch.
And you can tell Nick Cannon is mortified.
His response, we have an amazing co-parenting
relationship. Our kids are so happy. It's calm
waters. Let's keep it that way.
Let's keep it, keep it calm.
Keep it calm. Please.
Could you imagine the wrath of that woman?
I would be terrible.
He might be a battered husband.
I feel like he's traumatized.
He must be.
Yeah.
Did you ever watch her reality show?
I mean, she would just openly, there's also all the pictures.
There are times that she just pushes her children out of the way so that she could be at the forefront of things.
There was a really fun.
Do you guys follow St. Hoax on Instagram?
No, but tell me, mom.
You should.
It's a wonderful Instagram account.
But she just, uh,
posted a video that Mariah Carey was just taking photos with people and a woman came came up to her
She was like on a photo. What's it called the thing that's always it like a red carpet? Yeah, what is the fucking thing called? The step and repeat like a step and repeat and
And people were taking photos with her is it like a stop and kiss at the wedding? Yeah, it's a stopping kiss. Okay, she was at a stop and kiss
Stopping kiss the amount of times I heard stop and kiss. I never want to hear that again. Okay, stop and kiss
Stopping kiss now stop and suck. Now stop and suck. Now stop it.
I'm watching this video right now, and it's kind of amazing.
She pushes this woman who was trying to take a photo with her out of the way
to get the photo with the next person.
She doesn't even look at her.
She just pushed her.
God, Lord.
She is my favorite monster, though.
That's the problem.
She is my favorite monster.
Oh, yeah.
I mean, it's fun.
It's fun other than probably for the woman who got shoved, but she was fine.
She did, like, hurt.
She's fine.
And also, I would so much rather be around.
someone that not only acts, but knows that they are a diva bitch.
She makes no, she doesn't pretend to be anything else than what she is.
So I say Mazel when it comes to that kind of stuff.
It's like, you do you, girl, live your truth.
Get on it.
Because, I mean, the idea that, like, she does like to be pushed on a wheelie chair or
something on wheels from her dressing room to the stage when she performs.
and there are many pictures of her doing this.
And she's just like, yeah, I'm with you.
She's got to stay on the rest of the night.
I mean, she doesn't want to walk from there.
All right, Jackie, so you've officially reached diva status.
What weird diva shit are you going to pull?
Oh, my God.
Well, I never want to do that.
I don't want to have like the myambialic.
I never want the baby bird syndrome,
but I have always dreamed of having a Smee type
that would try things before.
But I wouldn't want to.
I want to, I want me, specifically Bob Hoskins.
I want Bob Hoskins to come back from the dead,
and I want him to try all my food,
but to make sure it's seasoned properly.
Like, he has to know my exact taste palate of what I need
and what I want from my food,
because I know I like more garlic than the average person.
And I want extra garlic on everything.
So I would like to have Bob Hoskins be my personal food taster.
That is a, that's a diva move.
demanding that a body be
reanimated. Yes. Oh yeah, yeah,
and I don't, maybe if you can
figure out a way to get one of them
holograms to be able to eat
and consume food, it doesn't just go
through their ghost body and shit it out onto the
floor. Right. I would be very involved.
I'm into that. Scientists
listeners, get to work, okay?
Get to Steppen. Do you guys
have diva things? I'd have a guy
dressed up like Superman, just hang out
with me and just be like, hey, remember when we like
solve that problem with the world?
like, yeah, I remember that, Superman.
Thank you so much.
And we just high-five every now to get it.
Stolen valor.
Whoa, stolen.
It would be.
Stolen valor.
They'd be like, hey, remember we saved the world from the Grockman?
And I'd be like, yeah, I remember that, Superman.
Thank you for your time and energy.
Wait, can I kiss the Superman?
I'd kind of let, I'd watch him fuck fans, because I wouldn't be able to because I'm
just like in House of Versauch.
Yeah, I'm still married to Lexi or whatever.
so it would be like when Superbans
like hot fans come on be like hey
let me have it you know how they're always screaming at me
to have it yeah
all those hot girls and then I'd be like you can't
have it with me I'm happily married to Alexis
but you can fuck Superbant
it's your stunt cock
Hmm
Stunk yeah
Wow my
my
demands seem almost
Does it not involve indentured servitude
Because it seems like a whole of ice bulk too
I would pay the
fucking shit. That's what I'm saying. That's your servitude.
They get a, they get a pittance.
They get a stipend. See, that's, I would
probably hire a staff of people and I
would pay them very well.
But they would have
to be, like the things
I need, I would need to have
seltzer at my
in my grasp at all times,
24 hours. Someone's following around
that has like a cold cooler
filled with seltzers for you?
Yes. At all times. And if somebody's
not there, I will have
series of trap doors all over my house.
That's fun.
And if somebody doesn't bring it to me,
one of those employees is going to go,
and they're not going to know which one it is.
They're going to get paid really well.
Wait, are you going to have, like, a roulette wheel of staff
so that you have to, like, throw knives.
You throw knives just like your morticia.
That's, I like that.
I like that as well.
I like the idea, too, of, like,
it reminds me of that ninja restaurant in New York City.
It'd be cool to have a house, like,
where all of your staff is,
like they come out of hidden panels.
Yeah.
You know, they're dressed like, they're like stealthy and dressed as ninjas.
Oh, do they have costume?
Like, what kind of costumes would they wear?
Can't do Superman.
I already did Superman.
Yeah, no, I mean, probably like wizards.
Yeah, I think, oh, then you can make your house like it's Harry Potter.
Yeah, I could be like house elves, maybe.
Oh, do they have to wear Ticos?
No, they're not free.
Oh, hell yeah.
They're not free.
Oh, that's right.
Wait, he's not nude.
for it. No, they were like little
shreds of things that
they found. I like the little jingle
shoes so then you always know where they are.
Yeah, but if it's too much jingling,
that's a big no-no.
They have to be careful. Yeah, but that's the good thing
about, because when you hit diva status,
you also need random
excuses to get irrationally angry.
So giving them the jingle shoes
for a while, it's helpful, but then you can also
just be like, fuck your shoes, you know what I mean?
Sorry, so much jingling.
Jigling!
This infernal jingling.
I've always said I always wanted to throw a glass of brandy into a fireplace out of anger.
And I think that would be a good.
Good reason to do that.
I think it's so funny to think about that.
Like how many times like our mother, Henry and I's mom would have like, where she was always actually
fairly patient and then out of nowhere, we thought it was always out of nowhere where she'd just
like, stop singing!
Why do we do?
What did we do?
Why did you just explode like that?
Mom's like, oh, no, it's because you're patient all the time,
and we are obnoxious, and we're always loud,
and we're always making all this sound that every once in a while,
you just got a fucking snap.
Yeah, my mom did that, too, but, like, coldly.
And when I was an adult, too, when we'd be around each other,
she'd be, like, fine around me, and we'd be having fun,
and then she'd have, like, a, she's not a big drinker,
but she'd have, like, one glass of wine.
Usually it makes her happy.
But one every, like, 20 times she does that,
I'll just walk into a room, and she'll just go,
I think you're making a lot of bad choices in your life.
I don't trust.
I don't even know you anymore.
Jesus Christ.
You're like, why?
I was, I just was in, what?
I was, I'm fine.
I thought we were watching TLC.
We were just smiling.
We were just smiling.
Yeah.
But she's been obviously thinking about that.
For a while.
For months or years.
Oh my God, your mom's just like Joan Crawford.
Yeah.
Just like her.
But she never.
beat you with wirehanger. She didn't, no.
She was not abusive physically.
Holden? What about your mother?
My mother,
I feel like I... Speaking of being cold emotionally.
Am I allowed to say that about your mother? I love your mother.
Totally fine. She's great because she even put me
in my place at Holden's wedding.
That she, um, she at, like, we were talking about, like, we were talking about having
kids. I think it was Lexi and your mom and I.
And I said something, I was like, yeah, no, it's great because like, you know,
Jeff works from home. He's got a studio at home.
And, like, so if we ever have kids, she's like, you really think you're responsible enough for that?
I was like, whoa!
She's like, I think it's interesting that you guys have all these ideas that you can just have children and that someone will take care of them.
I was like, oh, gosh, gosh, and I feel like she's very much, I'm afraid to share too much because what will happen is I'll be talking to her about, like, I don't know, hey, we're going to a festival, blah, blah, blah, and maybe we're going to go to do this or do that.
And then she'll text me, like, two days later and take one tiny detail of what I was talking to her about that I would never have guessed.
And now all of a sudden, she's terribly worried about that one tiny detail that I could have never foreseen, which just keeps me from sharing a lot.
It just keeps me even like, oh, okay, like, because it'll be just this one thing that's been clearly keeping her up at night.
They're like, I don't think you should go to the grocery store Thursday.
It's a bad idea.
It's like, okay.
What?
Why?
Yeah, what?
Yeah.
You know what?
It's sometimes better just to have a little bit of more of a surface relationship with your parents, and it's fine.
100%.
You know?
My mom's a lovely woman.
Very sweet, very kind, very loving.
We just keep it surface.
It was really funny, too, because we recently did, like, fertility test because we are looking towards having children in the future, wanted to see where we were at.
And I, like, mentioned that to my mom was like, hey, good news.
Like, we're doing pretty good.
Like, the results are pretty good.
And she was just like, nope, no, we're not taught.
Like, this is not a conversation we have.
but I'm like, oh, I didn't think this was...
No, this is a bad thing to say.
This is a terrible thing to talk about.
All right, good to know.
Moms, guys.
I'm all right.
Yeah, moms.
I mean, we could talk about aunties
because it is the 21-year anniversary
of Practical Magic's release.
21 years.
See, I'm just bringing it up
because I couldn't believe that it's been 21 years
since Practical Magic came out,
as those of you guys know
that have listened to the show.
for a long time it is one of my favorite movies because I want to be both
stocker channing and diane weist and Nicole Kidman and Sandra Bullock and Sandra Bullock looks
not a day old not a day old because I was looking so in this so the fact that it's the
anniversary practical magic so Sandra Bullock is 54 now and this movie came out 21 years ago so
she's around my age and she looks so much better in that movie than I ever have in my entire
No, that's not true.
It's true.
I think it's speed money.
Is that what the problem is?
No, you're gorgeous, Jackie.
Oh, my God.
But I love it though.
Apparently in the tequila scene in the movie,
they were actually a little drunk
because they were using real tequila.
Fun.
How great is that?
That's fun.
I haven't seen this movie in a long time.
We should watch it.
Please.
Practical magic, it holds up.
It's great.
And I love, and Stockard Channing and Diane Weiss
as the aunties that are just like,
I think you guys,
like, you guys can use your magic,
but please use it for good.
and please don't use it for any kind of nefarious ways
because of what happens in the movie.
Put the lime in my fucking coconut,
and then everyone dies.
I was raised Unitarian, and one time we had a Wiccan Sunday school teacher,
and she introduced herself by being like,
I am Wiccan.
I live in a house of witches,
and I just want to throw it out there.
Never mess with black magic.
That is wonderful.
That's awesome.
That is awesome.
How have you never told me that before?
Oh, it's the best.
Yeah.
One time she was like, oh, funny story.
Yeah, one time we had a witch in the house, and she decided to dabble with a little bit of black magic.
And wouldn't you know, she released a poltergeist in our home.
And so you'd be doing the dishes, and dishes would just start flying at you.
And it was a really terrible time.
Like, it was so funny too because she was just so casual about it.
And we were all just like, what the fuck are you talking?
That's awesome.
And actually, it's a good life lesson.
It really is.
I mean, it's why Henry and I were not allowed to play with the ghost box in our home.
Because Natalie put a firm foot down, I think it's true.
If you're going to open up something, know how to close it properly.
Uh-huh.
Because you never know.
And it really, I mean, it's why we were raised.
We weren't allowed to touch Ouija boards.
We were not allowed to touch Ouija boards in the house.
And so I remember one summer, I think I've, have I talked about this on here?
One summer, Henry and I made our own Ouji board, and my mom found it.
And she flipped the fuck out.
She's like, nothing is even, she's like, I'm not talking about bullshit.
Ouji boards that you.
that are made by Hasbro.
I'm talking about, like,
this is so much worse.
You making your own Ouija board.
She's like, even though, like, you don't know what powers you possess.
You don't know what you're capable of doing.
You never make your own Ouija board.
She's right.
But now we fucking do this shit all the time.
Mom!
Mom!
I'll do all the black magic I want.
So Natalie, are you saying I shouldn't have farted on your ghost chair?
I'm just saying you, you might, you might be.
in some sort of relationship with the ghost in that chair.
Now, I don't know how it works.
That's why I keep getting those midnight invisible dick sucks.
Yeah.
Finally, it makes sense.
But also they keep thinking that your belly is a cake,
so they keep doing cake parts on your stomach.
My belly is a cake.
Uh,
having nothing to do with this conversation,
I do need to talk about because I was very excited.
that Billy Porter just got the role as the fairy godmother
in Sony's live action version of Cinderella.
I love it.
How?
I had heard that Camia Cabello.
Camilla Cabello.
Camilla Cabo.
She was so good on S&L.
By the way, recently, I love her.
I got to see her live.
She opened for T. Swift.
And she blew me away.
I am so excited for her for this part.
And she totally looks like.
She's playing Cinderella.
Yeah, she totally looks like a Cinderella.
And Billy Porter, of course, as well.
I still need to see Pose.
I know, we got to get into Pose.
That is one of my next ventures.
There's just been so many things coming out.
So much.
That now that I'm behind on Pose, I need to set days aside.
So after my 31 for 31, that seems like a great, you know, November thing to get into.
But also, Billy Porter's been into just so many things.
I love Billy Porter very much.
and my Christ's
fashion sense
Oh he's great
I love it
Oh my God I love him
And him is the very godmother
I just
I'm very excited
And I'm excited
And I feel like everything
That has been in
Every single
Celebrity gossip
site everything is all about Disney right now
Because Disney Plus is coming out
Because Disney owns
Our brains
Our bodies and our souls
So everything is about Disney
But this is one of the ones
That I'm very excited about
but it's hard not to fall into the hype tractor.
I feel like I'm just a husk.
I'm a husk on a corn.
Just wait to be sucked up by a tractor.
Is that what tractors do?
I don't think that's how corn works.
Yeah.
They suck up corn.
Do they suck up corn?
Yes.
I think a farmer could probably point out about eight things incorrect about what you just said.
They shoot them out at the grocery store.
So the tractor comes in.
My body is a husk.
And I am excited about all this fucking Disney Plus.
I've already purchased it.
I have purchased Disney Plus already.
When is it launched?
November 12th.
Okay.
Did you see the list of movies that are going to be on Disney Plus?
Disney Plus, I'm sold.
I can't be any more sold.
I'm scared of how sold I am on this because did you watch the trailer for Lady and the Tramp?
Oh, man.
Oh, my.
It looks so good.
And the tramp looks just like my parents' dog.
And I'm just like, it's just, it looks good.
When you sent me the trailer, I was like, oh, yeah, fine.
Oh, you know, I like dogs.
This is probably fine.
I was crying by the end of the trailer.
Right?
This is the problem.
I did.
Originally, of course, I was all aboard because they adopted a good amount of pets for the,
the creation of this movie, and I think that that's awesome.
And I was like, all right, of course I'm going to watch it, whatever, but exactly.
I watched the trailer and burst into tears, and I'm so excited.
It's the fact that the digital effects, like the CG is so good.
Yeah.
It's, you do feel like you're watching real dogs do these things.
They are real dogs, but obviously there's a lot of imposed images on top of it.
But it's so blended.
It's crazy.
But it is really crazy.
I know nothing about technology or any of these things.
I think all of it kind of blows me away.
But even the difference between the Lion King and the Lady and the Tramp,
where they show so much more emotion on their face that even no matter how much time came in between the creation of both of them,
because I know it took years for the Lion King, that it even went further.
Like, it's only gotten even better.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The trailer, it, yeah.
It really makes those dogs, like, have human emotions, which I don't really need right now
in my life, okay?
There's already a lot of things that are making me upset.
I know, and it's beautiful.
And even with the Ziamese cats, and I was just like, ooh, that shitty fuck cat.
I love that part, too, with the two poodles with the bows in their hair, and it's just like,
what are you guys, what are you sisters?
Like, that's my wife.
Yeah, that was pretty funny.
Yeah, that's right.
I guess like male, female, they just like dress the dogs up to be what, you know what I mean?
Like to be whatever against their will.
But I will say what's making this fucking dog howl is Emma Stone is Crewella DeVille.
She's hitting me.
Stones hit me in my bone zone.
She's my celebrity crush.
And I'm all about this.
Yeah, she's going to be great Cuella.
That's another one that I really was, I rolled my eyes so hard at the idea that Emma Stone was playing Cruella DeVille that I thought that my eyes were going to fall out of my fucking ass.
Whoa.
That's how hard.
They rolled all the way down my back, and they went up into my ass, and they came back out of my ass.
Wow.
It's difficult to do, but I am talented.
But I didn't realize now that Emma Stone is playing the, it's the origin story of Crowella DeVille.
Yes.
That's a really fucking cool.
And a punk rock origin story in 1970s, England.
I'm all for it.
I love her look.
this like punky, gauhy look.
I love like the makeup and everything.
I'm also just, I really am a huge,
not just, she's not just my celebrity crush.
I think she is my celebrity crush, though,
partly because I think she is really talented.
Also, she gives it up to, what's her name?
Who, who cemented the kid,
going close, calling her the goat.
And I think when props are given to like that,
it makes me a lot more comfortable with this sort of thing.
Yeah, Miss Stone's for sure sexy and very talented.
Because she's also, she's funny and she has really good timing on screen.
Did you ever see her first thing I think she ever did on TV
where she was on the Partridge family reality competition show?
No, but I really, wasn't that called Let's Get Together?
Something like that.
I remember that.
It's pretty fun to see the clip.
That's amazing.
I didn't realize that she was in that, though.
But I'm very excited about this.
And it's also directed by the I-Tanya director, Craig Gillespie.
Gillespie.
I loved it.
Tanya. And she was, and Emiston was so good, I think, in the favorite, too. I think she can definitely handle this role.
And, uh, yeah, I Tanya, man, ruled. So good. Yeah.
Oh, great.
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But actually, guys, we're already at it.
It's time for the list.
Oh
Oh
Sing it
Sing it to me
Who's on the list?
Jackie!
After complaining last week
I just want to
give a shout out
to anyone that sent me
lists over this past week
I actually really
changed my week
It makes it not something
that I dread looking for
And something that makes me
very scared
because it is, you know
Last week I shit
The bed
No, it was great
It was awesome
It was a nice flashback
Another time
But I just want to throw out a shout out, especially to the person that threw me the idea that mental floss apparently has a million lists on it, and they do, which is why it shows a very interesting list.
40 fascinating facts about your favorite horror movies.
31 for 31.
Also speaking of three from hell, I have not seen yet, but I'm very excited because it came out yesterday.
Nice.
Yes.
Oh, and quickly, I wanted to say, I did the ones that we did watch last, or Satanic Panic and Hockey.
both of which are very fun.
Satania Panic was great.
It is directed by a chick.
Which is great.
And Jessica, not Jessica,
Rebecca Romaine, not Stamos.
Whoa.
We're talking about dating ourselves.
Rebecca Remain is in it,
and she's great.
And the only caveat I would say
is that they use the Baphomet
incorrectly in the movie.
It is not a demon.
It is actually a life balancer.
But other than that,
it's fucking great.
You should watch it.
And Haunt is also
very silly but very fun to watch.
I'll get on it. I'll get on it.
Are you been keeping up with Creep show though too?
Yeah.
God, it's great. It's everything.
It's all the zany fun camp
that I fucking crave.
But did we crave the knowledge
that The Exorcist was the first horror film
to be nominated for a Best Picture Oscar?
I did not know that.
I did not know that either. And we did an episode
on The Exorcist. I don't believe we said that fact out loud.
Interesting. So if anyone
needs the extra information,
and come over to page 7 where we have all of the information.
Also, but also if you need the other information, you can go to.
If you need less information.
Less information.
But they also, they earned 10 Oscar nominations,
including a best supporting actress nod for Linda Blair,
which I had no idea.
That's fucking awesome.
It is still holds up.
Yeah, one of the best of all time.
Good Lord, does it hold up?
Did you know that Robert England was not the first choice to play Freddie Kruger?
So as Craven reportedly planned to have a stuntman play
the seemingly immortal youth hater known as Freddie Kruger,
but opted to go with an accomplished actor for the role instead.
His first choice was the brilliant British character actor David Warner,
who you'll no doubt recognize from Time Bandits, Titanic,
and various incarnations of Star Trek.
I have never seen a Star Trek, but I have seen Titanic,
and I remember the chap.
The chap!
Which one is?
What are you doing right now?
What is happening right now?
I'm fucking British, bitch.
You're ball running like a fucking B-I-T-2s the C-H.
This is what happened.
This man.
Oh, it's the jerk?
It's, yeah, well, it's the me man.
It's daddy jerk.
Daddy jerk?
It's not the young jerk.
No, it's daddy jerk.
Yeah, I could get it.
I get on it.
But I'm sure he would have done a great job as well.
Not as good as Robert England.
Robert England is fucking amazing.
Did you know that Psycho is the first American film
to feature a toilet.
I did.
Did you know that?
You're a toilet hound.
There's a lot of weird.
That was one of the things.
When I first met Natalie,
I was like, what a fucking toilet hound.
I know all the toilet facts guys.
I'm kind of a toilet connoisseur.
I feel like Psycho was also the one of,
if not the very first movie to introduce it.
It did the scream thing to introduce the film
with a leading actress who gets murdered immediately.
Yes.
That was really a.
new thing and also just showing a bathroom in general and a woman the shower was like a big
controversy yes like they didn't really show bodily functions in any way before that because you
just you know they didn't even show like people in bed together like online i love lucy was just
because it was all seen as like not it was all seen as like two nobody has genitals yes yeah i'm
they hated they hated love back in they did they hated they hated any sort of penetration
i get it so do i did you know stephen king was
a fan of the Shining.
Yes.
Yes.
I didn't know that.
I thought it was interesting.
It is interesting.
It's very cool.
And actually, I don't know if it's still on Netflix,
but there was a really fun documentary called Room 237.
It's not on Netflix anymore because I actually missed out on it and I went to go watch it the other day.
It's not, you can't stream it.
It's,
I don't,
yeah,
I don't know where if you can find it still,
but it's sort of like a conspiracy theory thing about Stanley Kubrick was,
about how he was,
allegedly he staged the moon landing
and this was the movie was
telling you in code that this is what
happened but there was also little facts about
like because they famously were like feuding
during that because Stephen King did not like
the movie at all
and so there's little
things inside the movie that
are sort of bites at King
because Kubrick was like fuck you
and he did things like the
so the bug the Volkswagen
bug that's in the
book yeah the way it's
described,
Kubrick puts it in the movie and it's like
a crashed car in it.
So it's like the description of the car
that's supposed to be in the movie he showed is like
broken.
Like little things like that. All like little
tiny bitchy moves? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Fuck yeah, man. Well, I may be not fuck yeah.
But you know, he had the money. He was doing it.
That was fun. Thank you for the fact,
Toilet Hound.
Oh, no.
All the world's a toilet.
Oh, God, she's
pissing on all of the equipment.
Oh my lord, that's not a toilet.
No, welcome.
This is a gift for me.
Did you know the Halloween script
didn't call for a specific kind of mask?
The mask for Michael Myers was only described
as having the pale, neutral features of a man.
And for the movie, the design was boiled down to two options.
Both were cheap latex masks,
painted white, and bought for under $2 a piece
at local toy stores by production designer Tommy Lee Wallace.
One was a replica of a clown character
called Weary Willie, popularized by actor Emmett Kelly,
and the other was a stretched out Captain Kirk mask from Star Trek,
which we all know is the one that they ended up using.
And Scream had a very similar issue.
It just was described as like just a scary mask.
They ended up finding a mask at a toy store that would end up being the ghost face mask.
But what they were trying to do is because that mask was copyrighted by some like company
called like Fun Kids Masks or something.
And they tried to, like, alter it and change it to, like, get out of the copyright.
And then they finally just gave up and said, fuck it, this is the ghost face mask.
And they ended up getting the rights or they ended up, like, getting the company in on the deal, which must have made them so much stupid money.
Of course.
It's like, please give them the opportunity.
I imagine that.
I mean, now it is, how can you look at that mask and not think scream?
Was it a silver shamrock mask?
Oh, my God.
How many days of Halloween?
How many days?
Something days is a lot.
You man would turn those kids' heads into bugs.
Do you know a double amputee was used to create the thing's quintessential special effect?
One of the most memorable scenes in John Carpenter's The Thing occurs when Dr. Coppa attempts to revive Norris,
as he presses the paddles to his patient's skin, Norris's chest opens up and copper's
forearms disappear into the cavity where they are severed below the elbow by a set of jaws inside
Norris's chest. In order to pull this off, special makeup effects designer Rob Botton found a man who had lost both of his arms below the elbow in an industrial accident.
Botton fit the man with two prosthetic forearms consisting of wax bones, rubber veins, and jello.
Then for the wide angle shot, he fit the man with a skin-like mask taken from a mold of Dysart's face, like Hannibal Lecter, and placed the ursats arms into the chest cavity where a set of mechanical jaws clamped down on them.
As the actor pulled his arms away, the jello arms severed below the elbows,
the rest of practical effects history.
That's great.
Isn't that awesome?
I love that part and thing.
I love the thing.
I don't know if that, like, that might have been one of the earliest uses of amputees in film,
but it is a specialty in the stunt community.
If you have an amputee, like an amputated limb,
because you can be used in a scene, like, where you're getting thrashed and your body parts ripped off.
It makes so much sense.
Let's cut one of your arms off, Natalie.
Don't worry, you might cut.
If she starts wearing her jingles shoes,
we might eventually cut one of her feet off.
That's actually all the time we have for the list today.
There's a point in other words.
I might get into more, don't worry.
Oh, fucking shit.
Oh, my, why doesn't my fucking knee hurt as well as what's happening?
Oh, God, everything's going dark.
I think it might be going.
Blind!
It's items!
We can't see them!
Fuck yeah, here's your blind items, everybody.
I hope you're ready to be terrorized by blindness.
Why?
It's the scary month.
I'm trying to be fun.
Oh, okay.
Ah!
Does that work? Is that how we do it?
No, be a creepy clown, Jackie.
Oh, there's so many creepy clowns right now on the scene.
This B-List celebrity offspring knows that her husband would dump
in a second if his ex
would agree to take him back.
She noticed that her husband was recently reaching out
to people again to get contact
info for the ex.
So now the offspring is back to
full on jealousy stalking mode.
And by the way, the man involved,
I think it should be very important to note,
is an A-list singer.
Bieber and
Haley Baldwin. Boom!
Nailed it. Damn, bitch.
That was fucking great.
And who's the ex?
what's her name he was obsessed with her
Selena Gomez
yep
that's it
well when you said B-list
the first thing that comes to my mind is all the bald ones
all the bald wins it makes so much fucking sense
it makes so much sense
damn
they do I will say the pictures of them at their wedding
Justin Bieber looked great
oh they look so cute they do look very happy
I hope that's lie it might not be true
I hope that they last
An insider told radar online that they're not very happy.
Apparently, quote, Justin is constantly talking about Selena,
and Haley is at her boiling point with all of this.
Haley absolutely lost it and reached out to Selena to stay away from her man.
Whoa.
Yeah.
That's not a good solution to that.
Just FYI.
You can't blame your partner's behavior on their ex.
It's not, you got to look at your partners.
You got to fucking look at.
your partner and you need to start smelling his dick girl hell yeah
yeah sex so you fucking preach yeah smell that dick when he gets home every time he
gets home oh yeah yeah there's nothing like uh not trusting your partner to make
spice up the sex life yeah always smell that dick never touch it or put it inside of you
just smell it smell it remember that song I love it oh yeah yeah there was that song all
about yeah let me smell you oh yes
Speaking of songs, first there was the song.
Now there is going to be an interview where this foreign-born former A-plus list boybander comes out.
Wait, wait, capital you.
Wait, there's a song.
Wait, song about what?
First there was the song, and now there is going to be an interview where this foreign-born former A-plus list boy bander,
now he's solo, comes out with a U.
I put the with a you part in.
A-you?
Justin Timberlake?
Fuck, no.
And you should be ashamed of yourself.
Well, you know what?
I can only assume that he and Jessica B.
have problems, okay?
No, it's not.
Because I never see them anywhere, and I know that a pair,
or maybe they really really love each other.
I know, that might be the opposite.
He might just actually have a healthy.
Like a Ryan Reynolds situation.
Yeah, where they don't go to, like, party all the time.
Which I hope.
I do too.
I do, fingers crossed.
Because if they can't make it.
No, then who can do it?
I don't know.
So, like, a boy.
Are you the ghost of fucking celebrity?
relationships passed or something.
Yeah.
I can give a lot of clues that would give a lot of things away pretty quickly,
but this mysterious man, I'm talking like I'm talking in black.
I like it, but it's not Nicholas Shea, right?
No, and you should be, now you should flog yourself.
I won't.
Because of how bad you should feel about that.
I won't.
I'm going to mail you a cat of nines.
And you can flog away because of your bad answer.
I like being punished.
Remember what Natalie answered at first try?
Then you should give yourself a gift for that.
shit answer no oh just snappy cuz snappy ouch
snap it's wady and zaki over here welcome back to blind items feel free to be
terrified I will say that one of my favorites gave this person wrote a song
about this person one of your
wrote a song about this person.
Is it one of the Jonas brothers?
Okay, well, it sounds like someone needs to get a tubule of gasoline.
No, not gasoline.
Pour it on her hair.
This is like soft.
I know.
Throw it to the air.
Who else did Taylor Swift to write music about?
Natalie.
I don't know.
I'm going to be the last person here to know this.
Well, I know she dated a Jonas.
Oh, Harry Styles.
Yes, please.
Oh, but I think that Harry.
You come and pick me up.
There's no headlights.
Dude, Harry Styles' latest
music video that just came out is
sex.
His new video for Lights Up, it's very
queer positive. There are folks of all
genders grinding up on his shirtless self.
The new song was released on National
Coming Out Day. And as lyrics seem to suggest,
he's on the verge of doing just that, you fucking
toilet hound.
I am and I'm proud of it
you act like you're fucking insulting me
oh god she's pissing on the equipment
yeah
every time you say it's got to happen
absolutely amazing
I would watch any tape that he's in
any single tape I want all of it
he is I never really was like
I was not a one direction fan
I'm gonna go ahead and say it
not that I wasn't I'm against one direction
I just never got into them
but Harry Styles now is just
and the past I'm gonna say like
four years. He's grown up
and I really like his music. He reminds
me visually of
Timothy, who I
really wish I didn't find
so attractive because he
looks like a boy, but I don't find him
very sexually attractive. It's the confidence
man. It is. And also
you know that it's like he is
obviously old enough, so we're fine
with that. But I did it. The first time I
thought he was hot, I did have to Google him
to make sure he wasn't a teenager.
Which made me feel a little dirty. I mean, all
of Riverdale. We've all been there.
I do get it, but he's got, you know,
I love a Timothy, and I can't wait for,
oh, lady, do we have a fucking little women date?
Oh, Christ, Slug Sisters will fucking slurp their way
into the AMC.
Everybody make way for the Toilet Hound Slug Sisters.
Just coming.
Slurps, sloop, sloop, sloop, sloop, sir, sir,
give me, Timothy.
Give me she with hay.
All right.
Can I do the last one?
I'm disgusted right now.
I'd ask.
Yeah, they wanted.
This foreign-born permanent A-list celebrity,
he used to do something else he is permanently A-list for, is married.
He had a different female companion with him, however, by his side 24-7 for a recent business trip.
I'm going to say he's a sportsman.
I'm going to give you that clue.
Don't you dare say it's fucking A-Rod?
No.
He then continued his tour, and she's been there every step of the.
way, even though he's a known married, he's a power couple man, former sportsmen.
I don't know, I'm out.
I don't know any sportsmen.
Former sportsmen.
Dan Marino.
He's made, yes, it is.
Michael Jordan.
No, it's not Dan Marino.
It's not Michael Jordan.
I know it's not, well, it's not A-Rod.
That's another one I know because of J-Lo, but they're not married yet.
His wife, who he's apparently cheating the fuck on.
No.
Is an ex-singer.
She's an ex-singer, and he's a sportsman of what sportsman?
I don't know.
I mean, I do know, but I'm not going to tell you.
I don't know.
Who fucking knows.
I made it up.
He's a made-up guy.
I've made him up.
So just start guessing names until you guess the made-up name I made up.
In my brain, Mark Consuelos is a sportsman, but I know he's not a sportsman,
because I think I'm thinking of Jose Canseco.
Daryl Strawberry.
No, it's not Daryl Strawberry.
No, it's not Daryl Strawberry, but I'm very happy that he got into recovery,
and then he's doing a lot better now.
I am looking up famous sports players right now.
What I'm going to need you to do right now, Jackie,
is I'm going to need you to stand on top of a roly chair
and just wiggle around a bunch.
No.
Until he's going to fall.
Yeah, I know that's what's going to happen.
That's why I'm having you do it for all these wrong answers.
Don't.
Natalie, you're still cool.
Aw, that's not fair.
Why?
It's because she doesn't know enough sports.
She answered the first one first.
Guess.
Is it Wayne Gretzky?
No, it's the fucking way of these are our elders.
All right, he's young and he's not, he's not young, but he's hot.
You would want to flick your fucking bean so hard and fell off your body at this time.
Floyd Mayweather?
No.
Andre Agassiz.
No, no.
Him, you'd flick your bean until it fell off your body to Andre Agassiz.
Sure.
Now.
I'm fine with a bald man.
Also, I'm very happy you went through recovery.
He was on meth, which is pretty crazy.
Oh, yeah, that's a woman.
All right, British, and the woman he's married to now does fashion.
And I jerked off to her back of the day.
Furn, all right, fashion.
Oh, oh, oh.
Yeah.
If Natalie gets it right now, by the way, Jackie, you're in the fucking doghouse.
Beckham, Beckham, Beckham, Beckham.
Beckham.
Bends him.
Bind it like David Beckham.
You masturbate.
And by the way, this is your punishment for taking so long to get a right.
You need to go get braces, and then Natalie's going to throw a soccer ball at your mouth.
No, that's going to cut up my mouth.
I get to be the bully this time.
It's because it's not fair.
I've had too many years of experience of being a bully, so that don't give me a leg up, and that's not fair.
Yeah, recently he did a tour for Adidas in Seoul in Beijing, and apparently he's had some
fucking side piece.
No, but they're so beautiful.
Who's the side piece?
I don't know. Just the rando?
Just some, some rando ass fucking
penis person.
But also, speaking of people, when you have to
Google to see how old they are, I had to do
that with Brooklyn Beckham, their son.
How was he?
He's 20. He's 20. He's 20.
Weird.
He's 20 years old. And I saw a picture of him,
and I was like, who is that?
I was like, good Christ.
Look at this picture.
I was like, yummy, mummy.
I'll have a slice.
All right, you fucking bean flickers.
I gotta get out of here.
Before y'all slug up my day.
I'm not gonna look at him
until he gets a few years old.
Yeah, no, he should be older,
but at least he's 20, so I was fine.
He's legal.
He's legal.
We love you guys. Thank you guys so much
for joining us today.
I do have a quick thing to say real fast.
For those of you questioning about
Riverdale Roundup.
We are going to come out with the episode next week
with a one famous Molly Neville.
She's going to put that baby in a sack.
She's going to put the baby on the sack around her body,
and then we're going to talk about Riverdale.
But last week's episode was, I cried through it
because it's a memorial episode to Luke Perry.
So I just, like, didn't want to make fun of it.
I think it seems like it's a standalone episode,
which also good for them.
It's like, I mean, it's still Riverdale ridiculous
and we will touch upon Stitt,
but I didn't want to make fun of it
because I thought that I was just,
it was very sad and upsetting episode.
So we will be back with Riverdale Roundup next week.
I'll do it with Molly Napol.
Slap that baby on your belly.
My name is Jackie Zabrowski.
You follow me on Instagram.
I just shut off for a second.
You follow me on Instagram, but Jack that worm.
I'm Holda McNeely.
You can find me on World Star.
I'm Big Holdy Holds.
and you can find me on Twitch.
I'm Holdenators Ho.
Twitch.com.
Twitch.com slash Holdenators ho.
You can find me on Bean Flickers at Sorry Not Sorry.
And you can find us on Patreon weekly bonus content.
Yes.
Weekly bonus content.
Mostly about the TV we're watching.
And it's a lot of fun.
So check it out.
It's just $5 a month.
We're going to have them pop histories coming at you soon again too.
And which also makes me excited to continue to have Natalie in our lives,
even though we get Molly back as well,
which would be very nice.
Yeah, I'm so happy that Marley's coming back.
Yeah.
I'm so happy.
I'm not leaving.
No, you're not going to be leaving,
because we're going to do pop history together,
and it's going to be great.
Yeah.
We love you guys so much.
Thank you so much for joining us this week,
and we'll talk to you next week.
Bye.
Bye.
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