Page 7 - Episode 326: Fear & Loathing at the Lizzo Concert

Episode Date: October 25, 2019

Are we still hungover from the Lizzo concert? Absolutely, but we are also filled with positivity. We recap the concert, talk about Paul Dano being cast as The Riddler and we discuss the gritty reboots... we want to see.      For 20% off your first purchase, visit http://nativedeodorant.com and use promo code PAGE7 during checkout!   Get $20 off your fertility test when you go to http://modernfertility.com/page7.   Go to http://phlur.com and use promo code PAGE7 to get 20% off your custom Phlur sample set!   Go to http://honeybook.com/page7 for 50% off your first year.      Need even more hot goss? Our Patreon supporters get ad-free episodes and weekly bonus shows!      Backbay Lounge, Porch Swing Slower, Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/ Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:09 It's us. Feeling good as hell. I think that that is the, I think that's the phrase that you use after watching one of the most amazing shows of all time. And then I'm trying to work the next morning, which was silly. It was a silly thing for us to do. It is, it's tricky to feel good as hell, which I do, but also very sick from all the liquor I drank. Very sick. Ooh, I don't feel good as hell. But I feel good as hell spiritually.
Starting point is 00:00:41 Yeah. Spircially. And so I apologize in advance if my brain is. is dumb girl syndrome today. My name is Jackie Zabrowski. My name is Holden McNeely. I feel like I'm looking into the future because I, of course, am going with my lovely wife, Lexi,
Starting point is 00:00:57 and our friend Kate, to see Charlie XX X.E.X tonight. So I'm sort of seeing the after effect of that. And I have to get on a plane tomorrow. And I'm already dreading it. You should. But I want to know all about this concert. Natalie? It's not going to be on the same.
Starting point is 00:01:16 level as last night, Holden just saying. I'm sorry. My name is Natalie Jean, and I had a transcendent experience last night. Yeah, because we went to go see Lizzo at the Palladium in Los Angeles, Hollywood, and it was probably, which we all really understood. I think everyone in that building understood that it is the smallest venue you will ever see Lizzo in ever again. Unbelievable.
Starting point is 00:01:42 She was originally, I think, only playing one show, and then it turned into two shows. Then it became three shows. Three sold-out shows. Yeah. And then after the VMH, they added a fourth sold-out show. So she's, her last shows tonight in L.A. And people were losing their minds. It was awesome. Everybody who came was in their most ridiculous outfit. Everyone was dressed to kill. And also, I will say, everyone waiting in line for the bathroom, all it was just like, girl, where'd you get that top? Oh my God, you look fabulous. It was the most positive experience I've ever had in my entire life.
Starting point is 00:02:22 That makes so much sense. I think that that's exactly what she's trying to do with her music, which is so fucking rad. That the people were really like that, and there weren't any fucking bitches. Like when Lexi was at the Tiso show, she got into a fight with some girls in the Rose A line. Wait a second.
Starting point is 00:02:40 That is so on brand for Taylor Swift. Why should get into a fight? What happened? She just got up saying got into a fight. I don't know. They were being like mean-ass fucking bitches or something. Of course. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:02:51 I'm assuming Lexi wasn't the culprit in the situation. No, whenever I think Lexi, I'm like, what a bitch. Yeah. Oh, she's so mean. So mean. So is there actually a line solely for Rose. Yes. Well, last night, when we were at the Palladium, they had two drinks for Lizzo's show
Starting point is 00:03:12 solely, and they were. mine was a unicorn something unicorn glitter it had fucking edible glitter in it okay and then Jackie's hat she got 100% that drink and it had a bunch of gin and juice in it and watermelon juice in it and they were both actually really good they weren't super sugary no it was really it was really great and I man faded I just um I don't know what happened I said what happened
Starting point is 00:03:43 That's what I said to Jeff as I crawled into bed at three o'clock. What will happen? He said, I know exactly what will happen. You went with your girls to go see your favorite musician. And, oh, man, and it was also awesome to see, like, the sea of gay boys there. Oh, just, like, living their best life. There was a guy in a wedding dress. Everybody was just in, like, regalia.
Starting point is 00:04:07 It was amazing. Like, everybody was so excited. And I kind of feel like I understand what the landmark forum is now. I think this is it. Like, you go in, you're ready to give them all your money. Like, we'll get into this, too, but she could have made millions last night just by asking for people to throw money at her on stage. And they would have. They would be like, yes, Miss Queen Lizzo.
Starting point is 00:04:32 Of course. Whatever she wants. I'll give it to her. It really was, I felt like I definitely screamed it at one point. I would say I might have been flying a little high. I was close to the sun, if you get my drift. Too close even? I may have been.
Starting point is 00:04:47 A bit of a fear and loathing at the Lizzo concert. Man, I had a time. But, you know, when someone offers you something called unicorn juice, how do you say no? And so I really, I was saying this, I was screaming this at Natalie in the middle of the concert. And it was different than the unicorn juice that I had. Very different from your unicorn juice. I didn't know what was in my unicorn juice, but it made me feel really transcend. ascendant is the word.
Starting point is 00:05:13 And I had to take a lot of 5HTP today. So, but I feel good now. And I, we were in the middle of the concert. I looked at Natalie and I was like, I get Kanye now. I get the church. I get what he. I get it. I get all of it because, like you said, we were praying to the altar of Lizzo.
Starting point is 00:05:33 The altar of positivity last night. It was insane. I was doing the thing that they do in, like in rambunctious churches, where you lift your hands above your head and you shake your hands and just going, we were like, I screamed amen a bunch of time.
Starting point is 00:05:48 Oh, yeah. I've never, I don't think I've ever screamed amen at anyone ever. But I was like, yes, I'm here. I'll go to church, Lizzo. Let's go. And her backdrop was also looked like a church.
Starting point is 00:05:59 Oh my God. And her dancers, Holden McNally, I want to be a big girl, which that is the name of her backup dancers. Her backup dancers are the big girls and I want to be one so badly. and I was auditioning for no one last night in that audience.
Starting point is 00:06:17 We were trying to figure out how to get a hold of Lizzo, and we were going to throw our panties on stage and see if she liked it. Which we didn't even get into this a couple of weeks ago, because we did see that Lizzo put it out there that she wants to sleep with Michael Chee on Instagram. So I think that that might be our in. That was the most surreal mimic. I was like right after I spent the night with him at SNL and everything, and like, I'm just like, what world am I living in right now that, like,
Starting point is 00:06:46 Lizzo's hidden up my fucking boy. We got to, we got to offer him. We, oh, I will, I will, I will trap Che and I will offer him up to the altar of Lizzo. If that means I get to be a big girl, I'll do whatever I have to. Oh, and also, Lizzo, so Lizzo has this backdrop of, um, like, it looks like church stained glass, but she herself is essentially full. nude the entire show. She's only covered in
Starting point is 00:07:14 rhinestones. Just covered in rhinestones. I mean, she looked ethereal. And that's what we went with Eddie too and Ed said it best when he was like, it's crazy when you think, not only did she put on such an amazing show where she's playing the flute, she's dancing her ass off, but also
Starting point is 00:07:31 essentially she was naked for two hours on stage while doing those things. And if that's not learning how to love yourself, I don't know what is. Yeah, Eddie also said, it's crazy that that is the 10th thing that you would think of when you talk about this show. It's like not even the first thing is not her nude the entire time because it was so amazing to just experience it.
Starting point is 00:07:56 Favorite song of the night. Favorite, what was the highlights, low lights? I think one of my favorites, especially because again, the feeling of camaraderie, which I don't go to concerts very often. And that's why I love Holden that you've been on this, like, vibe of trying to see more concerts and trying to be more available to, like, to feel what the music is in an arena with other people. And I think that when she, right before she sang Jerome, which is one of my favorite songs.
Starting point is 00:08:24 Oh, my God. And I saw your story. I love that you put out a couple of insta stories for our enjoyment. Which is great because I don't remember doing it. And I was, but I was feeling it. I was very, very invested and I was very involved. And I cried a lot. But right before Jerome, she did this old thing of like, she was talking about self-care.
Starting point is 00:08:43 Talking about self-care and taking care of yourself. She's like, she's like, you have to do at least one self-care thing a week, at least, at least, a major thing. And she's like, this week, I, what did she say? She, like, she deleted a number of a dude and blocked him on Instagram. Yes, this dude that was getting into her DMs that was a toxic person in her life, and she deleted his number and deleted his profile from her Instagram. And she's like, and that, she's like, you have to remember the things you do for yourself every week. You have to do those things.
Starting point is 00:09:14 And I felt it. And then she just started singing Jerome. And then everybody's phones, they did the light thing on their phones. And the entire place, like lit up like they put overheads on because everybody's phones. It was so beautiful. And then, I mean, just like, every song was so joyful. But, like, when she did, like, good as hell and juice. everybody was just
Starting point is 00:09:39 they were out of people were dancing it exploded what about truth hurts I think that's the one I'd be most excited for it sure it was one of her when she said the 100% that bitch line did not the whole room lost their minds but also scream it line
Starting point is 00:09:55 you could have had a bad bitch like everybody like and it just didn't even matter it was just such a oh my God it was such an experience of community I'm gonna start crying right now no seriously I'm not going to.
Starting point is 00:10:07 It was so wild, but then when she would bring the, she did the flute. You know, at the end of coconut oil, it goes into a flute solo. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Everything quieted down and she just started playing that part, and it was like almost silent, except for the dude near us. I'm going to talk about that guy. Oh, my God. That's probably the low lights I was hoping for.
Starting point is 00:10:27 There's something annoying about it. It's the low light, but kind of amazing. But it's also, yeah, it's also beautiful. But, so she started playing that, and then she transitioned to a, another flute song and it was like this beautiful silence over the entire audience and she was just on stage by herself with the flute and then it went back into something crazy I think it might have been right before truth hurts yeah it was and it was just so so great I have to say though nothing truly compares to Lizzo it is kind of listening to you guys talk about this it is making me
Starting point is 00:10:58 it's like making me realize like now that I have gone full pop especially when it comes to going to concerts it's really hard to go back to anything else because It, the, like, like, Carlyway Jepson felt like that. I bet tonight's going to feel kind of like that word. It's just such a, it's such a positive vibe. Everybody's so, just, like, in such a good mood and so excited to hear their favorite, like, pop singer. And that vibe, you don't quite get as much in other genres of music sometimes. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:11:26 There's a lot of posturing and stuff. I feel like there's a lot less, weirdly enough, there's a lot less posturing when it comes to pop audiences. Right. And especially when, like, when we were talking about the outfits that we see. saw last night, rather than people stunting, it seemed like people were letting their freak flags fly, which is what, I mean, it was, which is why it's so great. It wasn't there to, like, people weren't doing it for everyone to see what they were wearing. They were doing it for themselves. No, it felt like that for real. People were just like, oh, I love this outfit.
Starting point is 00:11:56 Carla Rae Jepsen was like that, too. It was like dressed like the biggest asshole you can think of and like the most sparkly nonsense human you can possibly think of. And where you're not, you're not doing it to look good. You're doing it to look ridiculous and dance your face off and have a great time. So I'm glad to hear that. That reminds me of that night. And man, you're right. Going to shows it's healthy. I read some article somewhere. I read the
Starting point is 00:12:22 headline of the article because I never actually read these articles, but it was like, studies show that going regularly to concerts just like helps you be a happier person in general. I believe that. Yeah. Other than the abuse of alcohol. But But, yes, that. You know, you technically don't have to do that, although I would not go to a concert like that and not get completely shitfaced.
Starting point is 00:12:44 I just not going to do that. But I get what you're saying. I don't love arena concerts that much. So it was so special to go see her in a medium-sized venue. Oh, yeah. I can't believe we got to do that. Yeah, I love that you guys recognize that because you're so right. You were never not going to see her in a giant venue.
Starting point is 00:13:08 I mean, that is exactly why the S&L T-Swift performance was so special to me, because I'm like, there's never, ever going to be a time. I'm going to get to be in this small situation with this very quiet moment with this particular musician. You know what I mean? And so you guys really lucked out. And so definitely always cherish that because she is, you know, essentially just shooting to the moon. Yeah. And that's what I love too is that she's also very aware and very appreciative.
Starting point is 00:13:35 She's like, she's like, last December, when I was thinking about my New Year's wishes and what I wanted to change for this year, she's like, my life was perfect. And she's like, and that was in December. Yeah. You don't even, she's like, my dreams were never even this big. I never realized my dreams could be this big, which is why she just kept talking and was so inspirational. Like, just keep going for it. Just keep dreaming. Because she's like, I had no idea that this is what was going to happen.
Starting point is 00:14:02 And she's so appreciative. And it was such a beautiful feeling, but I also, if she would have said, now you have to go take to the streets of Hollywood and start killing people, I would have been like, all right, yes, sure. I would have taken off all of my clothes. I would have started like where, I would skin other people's skin off and put it on my skin and be like, am I her yet? Am I her yet? Does she like me? Is she my friend now? I was scared of myself last night. That's actually a really good premise for a horror movie. I mentioned like a music festival horror movie before, which has already kind of been made because Natalie informed me that she had already sort of done that. Which also it sounded better probably than you would have ever have hoped to make. And then the idea of someone just doing that good of a show for everyone and then using that to motivate everyone to like riot on the streets and go on a kill.
Starting point is 00:14:58 spree across the city that'd be pretty fun oh speaking of horror movies though i got to tell you that movie mary i did recently that came out the one with gary oldman yeah so like they took i'm the creature in it and they i did a lot of contortion a lot of stunt work on a boat on a boat it they took a lot of the cool stuff out which is what happens it unfortunately my favorite stunt the things i'm the most proud of i'll probably never see Right, right, right. And they kind of made the character, they went in a direction where it was like, the character's more ambiguous. So you see me in shots everywhere, but it's not all the creature stuff that I love, which sucks.
Starting point is 00:15:41 But it was like, whatever, I anticipate that happening. So I watched it. I was like, okay, cool. And then I just let the credits run. I have been a SAG professional performer for 10. years. They miscredited my fucking name. They gave, they, not only did they give my name wrong in the credits.
Starting point is 00:16:11 They found, somehow found my birth name that I have not used in well over a decade. They would, they not only insulted me by having my name wrong in the credits, they had to seek that out. And why didn't they just hate? you up. Two of you did it all of a sudden you didn't know. The insanity of it is that your name appears on documents, contracts, emails. Yes, they flew me there.
Starting point is 00:16:41 All of it. My name appears everywhere. And somehow they went down to find some random, like, I don't know, tax form or something that still has my birth. By the way, it's still legally not my name now because I'm technically legally at Zabrowski. Yeah, you are. Oh, yeah. But they found some form and they put it in the credit.
Starting point is 00:17:04 I am number six on that call sheet. And I know that's not number one on the call sheet. But still. Number one was Gary Oldman. So there wasn't that many people in the cast. How the fuck did they not only go out of their way to find that name, but also make it known that they do not give a fuck about who I am. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:26 And then they also gave my, they credited my name correctly in the stunts department credit, but the character, they got the name wrong. That's just so ridiculous. It's so ridiculous that you can work so hard sometimes. So just so everybody knows, if you feel disrespected at your job, don't worry.
Starting point is 00:17:46 We're all treated like trash monsters. Everyone's disrespected. Yeah, I mean. It's just, especially when you just, you worked so hard and created, so much to give this character life. And not only did they cut it out, but then also didn't even give you the proper respect.
Starting point is 00:18:04 But went out of their way to be disrespectful, which is the craziest part. Yeah. I mean, at least you weren't a little boy getting, you know, the bad hand, if you know what I mean. That's what you're, that's at least it happens in Hollywood. That's what we should take of this.
Starting point is 00:18:20 Anytime anything bad happens, I just go, well, at least I'm not being raped right now. I'm not a little boy in the church. We are just talking, Holden, we were just talking about positivity. We were just being so positive. Well, and speaking of movies and music, I also wanted to briefly mention, I watched the Clive Barker documentary yesterday,
Starting point is 00:18:43 and it made me cry all over again about Whitney Houston because she was such a huge part of his career. He's like the music producer that fucking made everybody happen. Wait, Clive Barker? Yeah, Clive Barker. I believe that's right. That's the horror writer. I mean, because I was like,
Starting point is 00:19:03 what is Clive Davis? That's what it's. Oh, my dad is like, what is? Because also, though, I was immediately intrigued. It's like, what mashup did Clive Barker? Clive Barker's making music. I am completely down for it. Clive Davis, he, the soundtrack of our lives.
Starting point is 00:19:21 It is on Netflix. And it is really, really good. The first artist he signed was Janice Joplin. He's literally like, I could start, I could start listing all the people whose career he made happen, but it's just like too much to count. Oh, Barry Mantelow. Oh, so many. It's ludicrous.
Starting point is 00:19:39 He worked with Barry. My Barry. Oh, hugely exploded Barry Manilow's career. Barry Manelow was a nobody until Clyde. How fucking dare you. Not Clay. How fucking dare you. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:19:50 You remember when Barry Manelow was in Hellraiser? Which also, again, I would see. I would want him to be one. Oh, please. The teeth one, and he goes, I write the songs that make the whole world save. Wendy Houston could be the other lady one because, you know, there's only one lady. Oh, yeah, yeah. Isn't she just called, like, woman scary in it?
Starting point is 00:20:11 Barry Manilow was a bag of piss. You're a bag of pice. What? And the way that you said Clive Davis exploded Barry Manelow, I just imagined them having a sex tape together. And I don't know, you know what, I'd watch a lot of tapes of Barry Manilow in it. I don't know if I'd watch him with Clive Davis. Interesting you think that direction, because when I hear that, I just think of the scene in Hellraiser where he literally explodes a man.
Starting point is 00:20:36 You're just, you're in Hellraiserland. Yeah, yeah. I get it, I get it, I get it. My gaffs today are probably going to be terrible. My eggs are scrambled, ladies. Why? What did you do with your eggs? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:20:50 I don't know. I had a, you know, it was a weekend. I don't know. We got too drunk in some parties. I will say Clive Barker is fairly attractive, though. He's like a super bondagey gay man. Wow. Of course. That's why my pussy lips just became erect.
Starting point is 00:21:06 Right. Exquise me. Will he hit me and also not fall in love with me back? He will have you or lots of pleather, though. I just, I don't know if I can do the pleather. It's so sweaty. I am such a, I'm sweating right now. I have barely any clothes on.
Starting point is 00:21:24 There's no circulation in those outfits, for sure. But I will check that out, Holder. Where did you see that? Netflix! Netflix! Speaking of other movies I want to see, I mean, I know that I'm being such a nerd. You're such a nerd. But I have to say that I went, oh, my God!
Starting point is 00:21:46 When I saw that Paul Dano is playing The Ridler in the new Batman movie. Yeah. What? I like Paul Dano a lot. Maybe it's just because, like, I really love the riddler, and so nobody could maybe play it. I'm interested to see his take him. You're about to get Paul Dano.
Starting point is 00:22:03 You're about to get Spanx. I don't know. I like that, though. You have to go, like, give me another one, mommy. You're right. Yeah, I could see. I can kind of see it, but part of me is kind of like, I don't, maybe I'm just Batmaned out.
Starting point is 00:22:14 Maybe I'm just like, why do we need another penguin? Thank you. You. Yes. Like, that's what I'm saying. But I will look at Robert Pattinson and that. I will definitely look at rubber friends. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:26 And I think that he's, I think Paul Dano's going to be a really good riddler. Yeah, I think he'll do good job. How do you feel about the Jim Carrey Ridler? I really liked the Jim Carrey Ridler. And maybe that's part of the problem is it's hard for me to not see that type of approach to that role. Yeah. Like to me, Ridler, I want to be like. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:46 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. And Paul Dano to me feels like a little. I feel like a little. he'll be a more soft-spoken riddler, which I'm maybe not super about.
Starting point is 00:22:58 But I think that's why he'll be more like cerebral contemplative, which I think it'll be fun. Which would be cool. I'm down, I'll see. I just hope he's still wearing the Unitarred. Yeah. You know? Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:09 Yeah. Paul Dan. You know what it is too? It's like the Heath Ledger rule. Like you can never count anyone out anymore when it comes to a casting choice. You never know. You never know. You see the performance.
Starting point is 00:23:19 Right. And they also think that, I think that Jonah Hill is an idiot for saying that he's not going to be the penguin. He turned down the penguin. I'm cool with him not being penguin. I'm fine with it. But who are they? I just, you know who I want Patton Oswald?
Starting point is 00:23:35 If you're going to get, I think Patton Oswald would be a great penguin. I know that Henry offered. I mean, no, I want my husband to do it. Yes, we all want Henry to be it. And he did say, he's like, I guess he talked to his people. and he's like, do you want me to dress up like the penguin? I'll dress up like the penguin, and I'll send in videos. And his managers said, don't do it.
Starting point is 00:24:00 Yeah. I think it's for the best, because I think that would actually be scary, just watching Henry, like, gulping down a bunch of fish and a tiny dog. I would love to see that tape, though. It's just everybody wants it. There's no point. Like, I want him, I want Henry to be that part very, I think he would be amazing, honestly.
Starting point is 00:24:21 I think he'd do a great job with it. Sure. I mean, it's every, like, Jason Alexander saying he wants to do it. He threw his hat into the ring of like, you know, I could do it too. Everybody wants to. But I love that everyone wants in.
Starting point is 00:24:34 Everyone, I think that, like, they're really looking at it as like, okay, this is the new direction Batman's going, I guess. Stunt casting? Yeah, I say this as if I know anything about Batman, but I am a nerd girl now, so yes, I do. You know, you just popped in my head
Starting point is 00:24:48 as I was scrambling to try to think of someone I think would be cool for penguin, meatloaf. Yeah, but he keeps having all those heart attacks. He's too old to play the penguin. Penguins old. I know, but he's like, you have to be in some level of health. I don't think meatloaf's doing that good. I want meatloaf's doing that good right now.
Starting point is 00:25:10 You just say that because he looks like the penguin without makeup on. You know who it should be? Michelle Pfeiffer. How dare you? Oh, my God, but is it woke? No, it's not woke. No, no, especially, you know, unless it was that they changed the storyline and it's the catwoman becomes the penguin. And then I don't know enough about it.
Starting point is 00:25:30 Honestly, it'd be interesting to see like an actress. If it's not an arbitrary choice, it would be cool to see an actress try to do the role. You know what I mean? If they were actually. Oh, I should do it. Yeah, you should. Oh, Jackie. Jackie.
Starting point is 00:25:42 Jackie, dress like the penguin. Make a tape. Send it in. Okay. And get, and make Henry the maddest we've ever seen. in when you get the roll. All right, I got to get phase prosthetics. I got to do the whole thing.
Starting point is 00:25:55 You got to get a voice down, too. Okay. I am. Oh, here, let's set up the scene. Let's set up the scene. I see your game, Penguin, but I, the Batman, will take you down. There's no way you could fill the entire streets of Gotham City with just fish. But what if I did?
Starting point is 00:26:15 Well, then that would be difficult. Slipping and sliding. On my fish, you will. There's fish everywhere. Batman help. Please. The city will drown in the fish. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:26:33 Robin's sucking my dick. Oh, fuck. Yay. Oh, God, I like it. I like it. Oh, my God, we should write it. Do they have a writer yet? Maybe we should do it.
Starting point is 00:26:43 Yeah, we should tell them we'll write it. We'll write it. These scripts never get written until the last second, I'm sure. You're right. They don't even have one yet. I don't have one yet Every time I'm sweaty
Starting point is 00:26:55 I get really stinky That is why I use my native Far across the house You can smell my stinky
Starting point is 00:27:18 unless I put on my native swipe my pits I needed my pits I'm such a seline punch a hole in them lifeboats we ain't gonna be needing them to save you from drowning in my smell from the unsinkable native deodorant
Starting point is 00:27:54 because this is one aluminum-free deodorant that works No need to sacrifice on performance to use a deodorant that uses ingredients, you know! You hear that, Billy Zane? I'll never sacrifice my performance every day. I am training to be with you. And with Native, you ain't got to be a rose, but you sure as heck can smell like one. Just move over, you smug wench.
Starting point is 00:28:19 Your working-class steed could have fit on that door. But Native comes in a wide variety of enticing scents for men, And women, like the lavender and rose, or go with coconut and vanilla, cucumber and mint, or my personal favorite, eucalyptus and mint. Plus, they release new limited edition seasonal scents throughout the year, and offer an unscented formula and baking soda-free formula for those with sensitivities. Native is sensitive to your needs, like a young painter with a winning smile. Man, I would have shaved him bald just to be closer to his skin.
Starting point is 00:28:56 Native is eight times the amount of five-star reviews than people that died on the Titanic. How's that for a statistic? Check out Native in Today Show, L Magazine, Pop Sugar, Refinery 29, to name a few. With Native, my heart will go on pumping the motion of the heart of the ocean without having to stop and reapply my native because the more cushion, the better the pushing, and I still smell good on our six of Jackie's. push zone. I really dig Native and how unclumpy it is in my warm folds. It never gets
Starting point is 00:29:32 cakey and lasts a long time, which is why it is perfect in helping me in my pursuit of being the unsinkable Jackie Brown. Now that's a mashup I want to see. It's no risk to try. Native offers three returns at exchanges in the USA.
Starting point is 00:29:48 For 20% off your first purchase, visit nativedodorant.com and use promo code page 7 during checkout. Again, for 20% off your first purchase, visit native deodorant.com and use promo code page 7 during checkout. I blame Halloween, but there ain't nothing quite like seeing a little pile of chubby cute, all swaddled up to look like a lobster in a pot that makes my uterus quake with loneliness. If you want more information about your ability to get pregnant, you need modern fertility.
Starting point is 00:30:22 I'm not having a baby right now. Jackie, we are not having a baby. Fine, but you can't stop me from dreaming about how cute. My baby's going to look when I put him in a little peacock costume. Oh my God, please look up babies in peacock costumes. Modern fertility is a quick and easy hormone test. You can take it home, whether you're thinking of trying for a baby now or want to know your options for the future.
Starting point is 00:30:50 Modern fertility helped quell my haunting nightmares about having, a dilapidated creep house of a womb, and reminded me that spiders won't be the only thing to be able to thrive inside of it. Your results are delivered within 10 days, and your personalized dashboard will give you insight into how many eggs you have, hormone levels, and any reproductive red flags. Now, my emotional mothering red flags, I'll get from my therapist. And with modern fertility, you can also talk one-to-one with a fertility nurse or use the timeline tool to plan ahead. Honestly, taking the pressure off of having children ASAP is a lifesaver. We ain't our mama's generation. We ain't got to be pressure to have kids when we ain't ready. That's what
Starting point is 00:31:41 science is for. And I love science. And science is going to be my husband someday. Proactive testing through your doctor can cost over $1,000. But with modern fertility, you're not. you can get the same information for just $159. Seriously, just give her a checkeruny. The future's not as spooky as I thought it was. Oh my, babies and peacock costumes. And right now, Modern Fertility is offering our listeners $20 off the test when you go to ModernFertility.com
Starting point is 00:32:15 slash page 7. That's $20 off your fertility test when you go to ModernFertility.com slash page 7. Modernfertility.com slash page 7 But what we do have is the A gritty remake We've got a lot of gritty remakes
Starting point is 00:32:31 Coming out right now I'm excusing reboots Which I think in my hand I know that they're two different things So we got the reboot the gritty reboot of Barney Yes Which is being executive produced by What's his name?
Starting point is 00:32:46 Chili Chilli Daniels Oh he likes it Sibisi, spicy. Chili Daniels, the game is up. You'll never fill the streets of Gotham with chili. Put a bean on it. Oh, I make the chili and I put the bean on it. He's a navy bean bastard.
Starting point is 00:33:09 Oh, Navy beans. Gross. Yeah, no, he likes Navy beans. But they all scared of Navy beans. You just made a new Batman character for yourself. He's Italian. Because, you know, man, us I-Tie's love making chilies. And Jackie, by the way, very Italian, completely allowed to do that character.
Starting point is 00:33:30 Thank you. Of course I am. I put an espresso on it. I also am going to be the next live action Mario. But I'm going to be called Maria. Well, can I be the, can I be Luigi? You could be Luigiana. Louisiana.
Starting point is 00:33:45 That makes more sense than the Luigi. Natalie as Luigi, Jackie as Mario. It'll be phenomenal. And I will be Yoshi. You're welcome. Oh, my, do. Does that mean we have to climb you? Uh-oh, I'm feeling extra slobbery today.
Starting point is 00:33:58 Oh, but you finally get to have the eggs that you crave. Because you've done a woman. You get to poop out eggs. Oh, that's awesome. And then you get to have a menop party. Oh, fuck. It's coming out. Oh, it's a big.
Starting point is 00:34:11 I don't make sounds like that. Oh, so we're making a horror movie. Oh, my God. I want to make a Super Mario Brothers for a movie. Right. Oh, it would be so good. A gritty reboot. It's always these gritty reboots
Starting point is 00:34:21 And that's why I think that Oscar the Grouch S&L parody of the Joker Was very funny But also like so poignant in the sense like Yeah dude you can slap a gritty reboot On fucking anything It's not like some brilliant thing That you're doing you know what I mean
Starting point is 00:34:37 It's like not that hard No no so that's where yeah So Daniel Kaluya who's in Get Out and in Black Panther His production company Which is called 59% is making the gritty reboot of Barney with alongside of Mattel. But in the same article that I was reading, I also found out that Margot Robbie
Starting point is 00:34:55 is going to play Barbie in a gritty mood of Barbie that's written by Noah Baumbach and Greta Gerwig, which honestly, I know, it's stupid, but I'm going to like it probably. I hate how much I want to see it. Exactly. I hate that I like, ooh, makes me mad.
Starting point is 00:35:12 Yes, because they're just doing the, they're just making a thing gritty. That's all they're doing. And going back to the Barney, It also says the article they want it That's going to be for kids as well as adults I guess and that's why so I brought this up When I'd send it out to you guys like don't you guys remember death dis mochi
Starting point is 00:35:28 Which also makes me so angry Of course rotten fucking tomatoes 42% get fucked Death to Smoch is one of my favorite movies of all time I get to tell you that I've never seen it Oh okay I thought you're about to say you didn't like it All right never seen it's fine That makes sense it's like it got largely panned and it's like an underground.
Starting point is 00:35:48 Jackie, I feel like you're the only person I know that likes it as much as I'm surprised, though, because this is right at the time I was working at an indie movie theater. So, like, one hour photo was there, and it seems like in the same vein. Yeah, it's Robin Williams, Ed Norton, and it's all about a Barney-esque character and the seedy underbelly side of it, but it's also directed by Danny DeVito. Speaking of, oh, awesome. A penguin!
Starting point is 00:36:09 I love him. Wow, Roger Ebert gave it 0.5 stars. Get fucked Roger Ebert. Jesus Christ. Oh, my God. And you just brought up Robin Williams. I watched that documentary on HBO. And I cried.
Starting point is 00:36:21 Yeah, I didn't cry. We were about to start Jackanese last Friday. And I opened up our Skype session. And I was like, Holden, what's wrong with you? Because he had clearly been crying for a while right before we were supposed to Twitch. And he just watched it by himself, which you don't do. Why? At the middle of the afternoon.
Starting point is 00:36:42 Why did you do that? I was watching it the night before. And Lexi came home from like a gal's night. night out drunk. And I was like, you know what? I'm going to spare you the 15 minutes of sadness that's about to happen. Let's watch something else. Let's watch On Becoming a God or something. Man, really good though. Great documentary, really good interviews. Very sad. He doesn't make it at the end. So, uh... Wait, thanks, Holden. You bastard. Don't ruin it for everyone. Tis I, the ruiner.
Starting point is 00:37:11 Batman. And I'm coming to spoil everything for you. Spoiler. I think that you already are that person, Holden, so you're cast. Would you like to hear what happens at the Red Wedding? Or would you like to hear what happens at the end of Halloween? And this is the thing. You are the emotion. I always forget. The vampire from what we do in the shadows.
Starting point is 00:37:33 The energy vampire. Energy vampire. Henry and I both, I knew the term Red Wedding, but I didn't know. We just started watching Game of Thrones. And I didn't get it spoiled. So whenever the Red Wedding happened, we were both like, what? You guys, after all these years,
Starting point is 00:37:49 I think that we've brought it up on the show before, that it was the, I believe it was the day after the final episode of Game of Thrones came out that Natalie and Henry decided to start watching Game of Thrones. I told you, I have problems with shows that I want to be on. I get very angry and I can't watch them until they're over.
Starting point is 00:38:06 That's why I haven't watched It's Always Sunny yet. Yeah, yeah, it's rough. I want to. I know it's, I've seen like five episodes of it's always funny. It's always sunny. It's some of the best television I've ever seen. It's hilarious. It's kind of why I watched an episode of Righteous Gemstones,
Starting point is 00:38:20 and I'm like, I don't know if I can watch this, because I'm curious. It's so good. It's so good. I feel the same way, Natalie, about I finally am watching Big Mouth, and I'm like loving it and also so sad. Yeah. So sad. So sad.
Starting point is 00:38:34 I'm not a part of that. Because also, like, lately PIN 15, the mid-eighth grade, Big Mouth. I, like, one thing I would love to take a crack at is that time in my life. life those middle school years and so hard to watch so many people fucking nail it and yet i can't look away yeah totally have you gotten to the duke ellington episode yet of big mouth i mean i've is there like one okay you know you haven't gotten to it yet it's more strongly okay great it is it is there is just the writing is fantastic i just man it's it's it's good though it is good that these things are being made so that that totally opens up the door so that down the line
Starting point is 00:39:13 This is what I tell myself. This is what I tell myself every morning. The down the line that we can make fun things too. Like a gritty reboot of Clueless. How do, this is another one. It's another one that I looked at it. I rolled my eyes and I was like, when does it come out?
Starting point is 00:39:28 I want to watch it now. Obviously, I have to watch this, even though I won't want to. I know. This just feels to me like a really cheap money grab after Riverdale. Of course it is. And it is. And it honestly sounds exactly.
Starting point is 00:39:43 like the premise of pretty little liars. Oh, yes. What was the, uh, the description is mean girls meets Riverdale meets a Lizzo music video, which again. Which is just nonsense. That doesn't mean anything. That means nothing. Yeah. Yeah, it says, um, it's also being described as a baby pink and bisexual blue tinted,
Starting point is 00:40:03 tiny sunglasses wearing oat milk latte and Adderall-fueled look at high school. Stupid. I know, but I'm going to watch it. I probably. I haven't started yet yet, but I can't wait to start watching Nancy Drew on the CW Gritty Rebels. I actually tried to start watching it. I thought that was on ABC or something weird. Oh, I thought it was right after Riverdale.
Starting point is 00:40:26 I keep seeing commercials. I think it's a different network, and I didn't like it. Were you guys big Nancy Drew fans when you were younger, and like what's the draw for that franchise? Nancy Drew, well, it was for me because it was like, a girl was the lead, and she, it was like spooky but it was instead of it being like supernatural stuff it was you know mysteries but it was about like
Starting point is 00:40:51 a like a spunky girl and her friends and there wasn't a lot of books like that before what about Amelia Bedelia she was cookey as fuck she was quirky and kind of a dumb bitch to be honest yeah and her name sucks yeah I hate it
Starting point is 00:41:05 and then I always wanted my name to be Amelia though I really wanted my name to be Amelia for a long time I wish she would like out of protest or something I was Amelia Bedillo would just like set herself on fire. I can't wait for the Gritty reboot. At least she'd be good for something then. The Gritty reboot will be great of Amelia Bidelia though because it just keeps showing up in the house.
Starting point is 00:41:22 She's a psycho. Oh yeah. She's completely insane. She never sleeps. She's a fucking meth addict is what Amelia fucking Bada is. And she does crazy things to people's houses. They come home and they're like, why did you, why have you done it? What was it? What was it puns that those stories were about? Like, I'm sweeping the knees.
Starting point is 00:41:42 And it's just like a hockey player, but she's also sweeping. So this brings up a good question. What gritty reboot would you want to see? Henry and I have talked about this numerous times, and also Zabrowski copyright on it. I want to do gritty reboot of Wendy the Pooh, where Christopher Robin is a detective, and he thinks that the whole Winnie the Pooh thing as a kid,
Starting point is 00:42:03 like that it was all just his imagination, but the 100-acre forest is real, and a murder happens in there, and then the animals get out to come to, him because now he's a gritty detective to come and help them like figure out the mystery that happened in the 100 acre woods.
Starting point is 00:42:21 I think it's brilliant. I like it. I'd like to see Sonic the Hedgehog Gritty reboot and it's essentially like... Without teeth. Without teeth, it's essentially like he as Sonic, it's very meta, it's kind of BoJack horsemany. He just
Starting point is 00:42:36 obviously as is the case cannot rise above Mario cannot really capture the hearts and minds of people across the world like he was able to back in the 90s, and he goes on a quest to assassinate Mario. Cool. I would do a gritty reboot of the Babysitters Club. Ooh.
Starting point is 00:43:01 And so there would be, one of them would be a Scientologist, and she'd be, like, trying to coerce them in the whole time. And then one of them would end up being, like, a child, molester. She'd be lusting the kids and then they'd find out she had a brain tumor and so they have to deal with like a molesty tumor going like well what what's the right and wrong here was she in control of her body and her mind at the time. I like it. And there's going to be one. There's a cutter. You should talk to Alicia Silverstone because she's actually in talks right now of being in the new reboot of the babysitters. Oh, they're already doing it. I don't think it's gritty though. I think it's just. I didn't know they were rebooting it. Oh yeah. If you can think of it they are rebooting it right now. Everything is getting a reboot. It's insane. It'd be cool. Found footage style Scooby-Doo.
Starting point is 00:43:47 They actually encounter a real force of evil. I mean, that's all so great that it was all a lie. It was all just a front. But then it becomes real and they're the only, like, people that anyone can rely on. See, I love it. You know, y'all know how I feel about Riverdale. I love it. I do, like, if you do a gritty reboot, right, and if it's so ridiculous that you make me love it, I'm in.
Starting point is 00:44:09 I'm going to watch all. Totally. It is, I think the difference is when it becomes the gimmick before the idea, really. They're like, we'll figure the gimmick out, or we'll figure out the idea later. We're just going to make sure it's a gritty version of a story people already know and like bank on nostalgia. Then it's a little irritating. It is a lot. It's getting to a point where, but then that's why things like the series Undone that Holden and I both watched on Amazon,
Starting point is 00:44:35 which by the creators of BoJack Horseman, I sucked it up like a little thin. soup because it was an interesting fucking line of coke. Yeah baby. Snort, I snort, I snort it. Let the good times roll. And it was very sad. But it's a very good, interesting new telling of a story.
Starting point is 00:44:55 What is it? It's all done in rotoscope. So it's like all like squiggly. I love rotoscope. And it is, it's amazing. So it's all fucks with time and like the time. Like, and it's all about time travel. And essentially her father. died when she was a teenager and she just got into a really bad car accident and she's starting to see him come back and the whole thing is that he has come to her because he
Starting point is 00:45:20 found out how to time travel and he's come to her because she has the gift to go back in time and find out that like no that he said that he wasn't he didn't die he was murdered and he needs her to go back and figure out how to go back in a time and and like find out who murdered him. Wow, that's, that's a lot to ask of your daughter. It's trippy as fuck. It's so good. So she gets to go back in time, but she just has to try to solve this horrible crime and kind of, but it's also more about how she has to figure out, like, what it all means. It's done very, very well. It's really, really good. I got it. Grady reboot a Lucky Charms. We call it Leprecon straight out the bowl back into the hood. And it's
Starting point is 00:46:07 also a sequel. Is it a sequel to Leperone? and Lucky Charms. Yes, it's both. But it's the Lucky Charms Lepercon, Gritty Rebo. You're being racist. I like, yeah. Don't you just lump them all in? That's not fair.
Starting point is 00:46:20 Straight out the bowl! I really like straight out the bowl, though. I think that's pretty good. Oh, yeah, I know exactly what you're saying. But can we throw the Cap'n in there? Can they, the Cap'n have a love affair? Oh, I can't, I don't trust that guy. No, you're not.
Starting point is 00:46:33 As long as Robin can suck his dick at some point. Of course he can. For the Gritty reboot of whatever the fuck Batman. stupid thing they're going to do. Robin is always just like slapping at the lips to get on that knob. I'm sorry. I was upset as I said it if it makes you feel any better. That's like the guy last night.
Starting point is 00:46:52 We didn't mention at Lizzo show. There was this guy, the one guy who, the one bro dude and the entire venue. He had a football jersey on. He came in with a fucking costume. Like, he was wearing a football jersey. And then later on, Ed was like, that wasn't even irrelevant. team or number that he was wearing. It was like a fake guy.
Starting point is 00:47:13 I like good Ed. I like how Ed sounded like a Jewish grandmother just like. That wasn't even. That's how he sounds to me. That is what he sounds like a Grammy. He sounds like a Grammy. But the guy somehow found us and he was right behind us. And I think now looking back, he was scoping out Eddie.
Starting point is 00:47:37 But this guy, he was. all alone and he just started bothering everyone around us and he was just like well I can't believe this everybody's this is a crazy show can you believe what's happening also positive though so he's yelling at screaming ears but he was all like like isn't she great it's like what do you guys like he's basically going up to the soundboard people going like hey what do you guys do it up there wow so you guys like do you help with the show that's cool you put the lights on her why you He's doing a good job. And then so there was this group of like really beautiful gay men in front of us who were like, a couple of them are couples.
Starting point is 00:48:17 And slowly he's like easing his way towards them. And this one beautiful couple was having like a moment. They were trying to like, she was singing. It was beautiful. And they were trying to like this kiss. And he just gets in the middle of them. And he's just like, I can't hear what he's saying, but it's very loud. He's just like, blah, blah, blah.
Starting point is 00:48:32 His face was like was literally in between both of their faces trying to have like a nice moment when they're looking at each other. And he just put his face in between. clean both their faces. And we heard at some point him saying that he just got, this is kind of sad that he got a Lizzo and he got a ticket and he just thought he'd make friends there. And so he was clearly gay trying to like figure out how to be a gay person, like very uncomfortable with it.
Starting point is 00:48:59 But like he wasn't being mean. He was just hammered and so annoying. And he was like very desperately trying to talk to these men, the hopes that one of them would suck his dick. But I don't think they did. No, I don't think they did. You never know. But he was trying to have this moment.
Starting point is 00:49:15 Yeah, and you know what? Mazel. I know. If there is a place to do that, it is going to a Lizzo concert to just be accepted by people around you. Just robin out. She was singing. Yes, he was talking very loudly while she sang. But, you know.
Starting point is 00:49:27 At one point, Ed, too, when he was screaming and Lizzo was trying to, she was giving, like, a motivational speech to everyone. And we were trying to, like, listen. And he was talking over her. And eventually. And he just turned. He's filming, and he turns to the guy and goes, Listen to the beautiful message. And then he just turned back.
Starting point is 00:49:46 He took another puff from his Capri 120. Listen to the beautiful message. Oh, my God, it's Mariah Carey. She's here, too. Let's hear a beautiful message. I thought that I didn't care. I'd buy my sense anywhere. But baby, baby.
Starting point is 00:50:09 I don't know what I'm going to do, because I love Flur. Flur makes stunning non-toxic perfumes and lists all of their ingredients online. More than Lizzo can say about her juice. Is it apple? Is it grape? You get a good scent made with clean ingredients,
Starting point is 00:50:30 and the sample process is just juicy. For luxurious perfume that's all about good, clean bun, try Flur. P-H-L-U-R. It's the only thing good and clean about me, but it's the fourth thing that's fun about me. My orifices are fun as finding the right scent for you at Flur. First, you get to know each of Flur's scents with pictures, words, and even playlists on their site.
Starting point is 00:50:55 Then you actually try them on your own skin and see how it works for your life. Bounce that butt up and down, because you know she's going to get to wagon once she is dusted with her Flur. Flores world-class perfumers are scent artists, and these perfumes are their masterworks. It ain't my fault that I'm out here smelling good. Gotta blame it, I'm a Fleur. Gotta blame it. I'm a Flour, baby, in a great way, because every flur's scent is gender-free, but it's smile full. The best part, Flur is a completely transparent fragrance company.
Starting point is 00:51:31 They tell you every ingredient in their perfumes and why it's there. Blame it on the floor. Baby, because we're really good as hell. Man, I'm jumping from song to song. And good news. They just introduced body wash and body lotion in the same sense, so you can blame every decision on Fleur's juice and never feel bad again.
Starting point is 00:51:52 Now, my Hepcat leaves me smelling like one Hip Cat, and it is definitely the only thing cool about me while I'm out here reping my jazz hands. Hepcat lasts all day and all night, so I can pretend I'm one of Lizzo's big girls. all night long and still have someone sidle up onto my big sweaty body and say, Hey, Mama, let me get, because my Hepcat prowls up into their nose and lets them know that the only good decisions I make are about the good scent with clean ingredients that I spritz.
Starting point is 00:52:24 Go to flur.com today and use promo code page 7 to get 20% off your first custom Flur sample set. Pick three cents to try and get credit towards a full-size bottle of your favorite. That's promo code page 7 at flur.com to get your first three Fleur fragrance samples at 20% off ph, l-U-R.com. Daddy, daddy, I'm afraid. Oh, full-grown wife, why are you scared? I'm scared of organization because the fox and antichrist says chaos wanes. Need an internet daddy to swoop in and chew away your cannibal foxes and make your business safe again? That's where HoneyBook comes in.
Starting point is 00:53:04 HoneyBook is an online business management tool that organizes your client communications, bookings, contracts, and invoices all in one place. Don't be scared of the business forest, because Daddy's here, and he is sweet. HoneyBook makes it simple to run your business better. Professional templates, e-signatures, and built-in automation keeps everything on track and makes you look good. You know what they say? the better you look, the more you leave them clients shook from professionalism. They can even consolidate services you already use, like QuickBooks, Google Suite, Excel,
Starting point is 00:53:45 and Mailchimp slash Gmail. HoneyBook takes all my finky food business and puts them all in my big freelancing pick-onick basket, so no boo-boos and no yogis are going to be sniffing and swiping and trying to make me go business hungry. It's the number one choice for client and business management, for freelancers and business owners. Daddies and foxes and bears, oh my aside, HoneyBook really does help me to keep my obviously, easily distracted brain on the right track. Bears, why did it a half a to be bears? That's a quote from the Revenant. Save time and do more of what you love, like aggravatingly misquoting,
Starting point is 00:54:31 well-known movies with HoneyBook. And right now HoneyBook is offering our listeners 50% off when you visit HoneyBook.com slash page 7. Payment is flexible and this promotion applies whether you pay monthly or annually. Go to HoneyBook.com slash page 7 for 50% off your first year. That's HoneyBook.com slash page 7. I wish I could see that tour. Mariah Carey is currently on her, she's like starting her Christmas tour.
Starting point is 00:54:59 Oh, yeah, that'd be so good. I want to see her wheeled onto the stage and taped to a mic stand while she sees. I love her so much. Yeah, they just like have shoes that are like implanted into the stage. She puts her feet in her feet into it. Oh, she's upright. Soon enough, she's going to be like a human Chucky Cheese animatronic. It's just going to be like some people just be like controlled by machines.
Starting point is 00:55:26 And yeah. I would go to that. I would, I don't care about going to see a show first, but I would go if she's, She was doing that. Oh, yes. The try to do as little as possible tour. It's 15 minutes long. A man holds me up the whole time.
Starting point is 00:55:45 And everyone pays a $400 a ticket. I would go. Seven minutes of banter in the 15 minutes. You guys are great. You guys are really great tonight. And, you know, it's just like one of those nights. But she's got subtitles under her so that everyone knows what she's saying. Right.
Starting point is 00:56:01 Please sing a song. Any song. What are the bad ones to sing? I did. Oh, no. Don't you ask you me. This is my method. Oh, craymond. She ate what she used to be.
Starting point is 00:56:14 A what she used to be. A what she used to be. I haven't heard that song in quite some time. Thank you for the throwback, Holden. You're welcome. I'm sorry, Mariah. Robin Dixuck for you. You're just, that's all, you just want that tape.
Starting point is 00:56:29 I mean, I'm sure that tape exists out there somewhere. What is it, Rule 23? Natalie is pointing at the screen because I think that she's excited because of the headline of this. See, Holden this came out today. Lindsay Lohan calls out Cody Simpson on the masked singer. So as you guys know, I think that you've been following Lindsay Lohan is one of the judges on the masked singer, Australia. Did she already get fired? She's not fired yet.
Starting point is 00:56:56 She still doing it. She would show up for a promo thing a while back. Yeah. They were pretty mad about it. They were upset. I'm confusing a blind item I didn't use that's talked about how she's already not going to be coming back. Well, spoiler. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:57:08 The spoiler has struck again. I know. He's the ruiner. Is he not? But I think it's great that, so Lizzie Lowe had been on. So I don't know if you guys have seen any of the Mask singer, but the whole, like the judges have to guess who is underneath the mask. And she, since she's doing the show in a show and. Australia, she doesn't know any of the, like, the famous people in Australia. She has done no research.
Starting point is 00:57:37 No one is even giving her like a sheet of things forward. I would be bummed out if she had done research. Yes. I bummed me out. Oh, no. She's just showing up, barely doing this. So she actually guessed and got it right this week. So guys, this is a spoiler alert for the math singer Australia. If you are able to find it and watch it, which if you can figure that out, please send me a link because I don't know how to do it. but she so Cody Simpson is the dude that is dating Miley Cyrus right now the big lumpy-headed Australia dude that is completely in love with her of course
Starting point is 00:58:12 Yeah he wrote a song about it already He wrote a song about her already They've been dating for like three weeks I am not Yeah too much by the way that's too much And that is doomed when you do stuff Oh yeah this is a I mean this is for her at least This is like a right after a relationship fling
Starting point is 00:58:28 Well, and especially when she's like, she's like, don't judge me. You know, I just got out of this big relationship. I'm going to, it's like, of course, girl, you fucking do you. But when you're both on Instagram, like, putting up kissy photos after you've been shed up in for a couple of weeks and saying like, I love you, baby. It is just like, I don't, I know you shouldn't judge other people's lifestyle. But when you put it out there like that, I'm just like, well, you put it out there. Yeah, totally.
Starting point is 00:58:52 I mean, she, and they have known each other for a long time. They have. But, um, but he's still like 20 years old. Yeah, it makes me wonder if she's doing it for her ex. Yes. What's his name? I'm just blanking on his fucking name. Hemsworth.
Starting point is 00:59:05 Helmsworth. I wonder if it's all for him. Like, maybe he hurt her really bad or something. And she's just like, yeah, well, bitch. I think that he really wanted to, which I said this last week, I didn't realize he had kids. I had absolutely no idea that he was a father with a beautiful Spanish mom. Hey, Jackie, I wrote you his song.
Starting point is 00:59:27 How's it going? How you doing? I'm broken up with you. Do you okay? Do you need anything? Do you need anything? Can you see tomorrow? What about yesterday? I thought yesterday was cool. Were you upset about it? Yeah, but you're not singing it. You have to sing it if it's a song.
Starting point is 00:59:40 Jackie, I can believe. I'm so sorry about everything. My life is yours. I am on my knees. And if you had a dick, I'd suck it like robin. Please be mine For all of time For get him's worth
Starting point is 01:00:03 He was unkind And I'm not a bad guy I've already broken up with Holden And now it's over So thanks for the song But no fucking thanks She was thinking about getting back with you Until you sang this song
Starting point is 01:00:14 Yeah and then you sang it Yeah you should get over it I hope that you feel My life Just as bad as Cody Simpson did So when they were on the episode When Lindsay Lohan called him out She said
Starting point is 01:00:26 if it's you Cody Simpson we have a lot to talk about and this is not the arena for it I want my furniture back because I bought your furniture for your house in Venice which yikes this is before she knew it was him
Starting point is 01:00:39 wait okay hang on this is why I needed to ask us so did they date and if they did how old was he because she is much older they didn't date he dated her sister Ali which is why she knows all this stuff and so when they finally revealed that it was
Starting point is 01:00:56 Cody Simpson, she said, I can't, I can't, I just need a minute. I'm literally in shock right now. I can't even, I'm like blushing for my sister because I know how much she loves you, which also don't fucking call out your sister like that for still being in love with this fucking dude that it's openly dating Miley Cyrus right now. Are you saying that Lindsay Lohan's a shitty sister? What a fucking fallopian tube? Yeah, you're right. Yeah, a fallopian tube. She brings the eggs. A fallopian tube is beautiful.
Starting point is 01:01:26 And sometimes we don't want the eggs to be brought in, okay? Yeah, I know what happens in a team. I'm glad Jackie picked up on exactly what I've been by that. Thank you so much. I figured. I figured what you meant. Oh, I see. Like, it transports the egg.
Starting point is 01:01:39 You don't want to be fertilized. Uh-huh. I get it. She's bringing that egg out, and Cody Simpson's like, naughty, naughty. I don't know a bad thing. Yeah. Yeah. It's, you know, it's technically, it's kind of cute for a fallopian tube to do that.
Starting point is 01:01:55 I think I'm just like too big mouthed right now, that everything's like a talking sex organ. But anyways, I mean, that's what happened. Once you get completely invested in big enough, but I mean, we've been, I know we're talking about it. But I guess it's time for the list, guys. Oh. Who's on the list?
Starting point is 01:02:14 Yeah. Gotta have the list, Jackie. I know. I know you got to have the list. I know you got to have the list. I actually am going back to. last week's list. What's in the list? I get it. Is that like a what's in the box? I get it. I'm going back to last week's list because I thought that there was just so much more on it that I wanted to talk about of the 40 fascinating facts about your favorite horror movies because as I was looking through it again last week, I'm just like, man, I didn't even get to that one. I didn't get to that one yet. So I got, so I know we talked about our double amputee which that was kind of fun. Do you guys remember that? Yes. No. But did you know. But did you know.
Starting point is 01:02:55 that the blob was based on a true story? Yeah, the story of Henry Zabrowski, am I right? He'll never be the penguin. But he might. If we have one of the Zabrowski's will be, don't worry. But apparently that this came from a, so in, on September 27, 1950, the Philadelphia Inquirer ran an article with the headline, Flying Saucer just dissolved.
Starting point is 01:03:25 The night before, police officers John Collins and Joe Keenan swore that they'd watched a mysterious object fall from the sky. Russian courts the landing site. The men stumbled upon a purple jelly-like mass. Collins and Keenan immediately summoned two of their colleagues who arrived just in time to watch the material evaporate without a trace. The FBI was contacted, a press conference was held, and the whole mess became a national laughing stock.
Starting point is 01:03:53 But what I love is that they flipped it, They reversed it They turned it Into a fucking famous movie Hell yeah You get it bitches I think that's fun That is making slime
Starting point is 01:04:03 Into slime manade Oh that was cute Nah I also thought I'm sorry guys That was me turning into a monster No don't Don't turn into a monster again
Starting point is 01:04:19 I thought it was interesting Because speaking of real events child's play was also inspired by a real event. So in 1909, so we're talking a little bit ago, QS painter and author Robert Eugene Otto claimed that one of his family's servants placed a voodoo curse on his childhood toy, Robert the doll. Supposedly, the doll would mysteriously move from room to room,
Starting point is 01:04:45 knock furniture over, and conduct conversations with Otto. He deserved it. The doll was left in the attic until Otto's death in 1974. When new owners moved into his home, Florida home. The new family also claimed mysterious activities would happen in the house connected to the doll. Today Robert the doll is on display at the custom house
Starting point is 01:05:02 and the old post office in Key West Florida. I actually would love to see that. Right? I think that kid probably deserved it. I imagine he was an asshole to the servants. Yeah, you think so? Yeah. Yeah, I'm assuming. I saw skeleton key. I know how those things happen.
Starting point is 01:05:19 I thought this was kind of fun. An actual witch was hired to help make the craft more authentic. Did you know about this, Natalie? I didn't, but it makes sense because they do some... They got it pretty spot on. Yeah, they got some stuff good in there. They brought on Pat Devin as a consultant.
Starting point is 01:05:34 She's a member of one of the largest and oldest Wiccan religious organizations in the United States, Covenant of the Goddess. And at the time, she was the first officer of the group Southern California Local Council. She played a big role in the production process and at times worked directly with the actresses. A lot of my suggestions were acted upon
Starting point is 01:05:51 and virtually all of my suggestions were given careful consideration, even if they didn't all end up in the final version of the film, which also, fuck yeah. And Natalie brought her on, but it wasn't just like a gesture of like, you see, we did it, guys,
Starting point is 01:06:03 but they actually included her. Guys, we should do a reboot of the craft to make it cute. So it's like a flip reversal of the grittiness. That's where it's heading, though. Natalie, you're on the cuss. Because everyone's doing these gritty rebusts right now. So it's going to be about taking dark things
Starting point is 01:06:20 and making them bright and happy. The Exorcist, Schindler's List. Leather Face. Yeah, leather face. Oh, what are we going to do with Leather Face? It's cute. He's helping me lose weight by digging me skin. He chases me around.
Starting point is 01:06:34 Isn't that fun? He's my new dad. That's a funny, awkward situation. Leatherface is my new dad. What's he going to do now being a father role? I like that he would do a good job. This is something that I think that we all, knew,
Starting point is 01:06:51 unfortunate, not unfortunately, that Stanley Kubrick allegedly typed all of those all work pages in The Shining. He did it by hand
Starting point is 01:06:59 because you know that type brother. It ain't doing itself. No. That's very Kubrickian of him. I know. And also, this is the last thing
Starting point is 01:07:08 that I thought was very interesting that I wanted to get to. The creature from the Black Lagoon was modeled after the Oscar Statuette. Universal managed
Starting point is 01:07:17 to snag an up-and-coming filmmaker with a prestigious resume to direct creature from the Black Lagoon. There was a picture of the Oscar statuette on it, I said. If we put a guild head on the figurine, plus fins and scales, that would look pretty much like the kind of creature we're trying to get. So they made a mold out of rubber, and gradually the costume took shape.
Starting point is 01:07:38 At first, the creature had what leading lady Julie Adams described as an eel-like physique, slick and streamlined. The outfit didn't come with much in the way of fins, or edges, or body armor. These are later enhanced to give the monster a more menacing appearance. Now, something I want to get into on our bonus content this week was I finally saw Monster Squad for the first time in my life. I'm going to go ahead and throw it out there. And the creature from the Black Lagoon in it, the outfit is fantastic.
Starting point is 01:08:07 Well, I was going to say, I don't remember where I saw this study, but somewhere it was saying that the creature from the Black Lagoon is the. most sexually sought after monster. Really? Yeah. See, we were talking about this of like which monster would you want to be in the monster squad. And I said Dracula because I think it would be awesome to live forever.
Starting point is 01:08:31 And then you get to bone all the time and turn into a bat. But I thought you said she was a virgin. Ah, that's it. Oh, man. It's got nards. The woman's got nards. It's great. They just call the kid the fat kid.
Starting point is 01:08:46 All these, all of these, all of these, from all these years. Now I finally get so many of them. But it is interesting that I get it, though, except for the fact that I didn't like shape of water because I hated the like fuck a fish movie. Yeah. No, I couldn't.
Starting point is 01:09:01 I fell asleep during Shape of Water, unfortunately. Oh, I loved Shape of Water. I thought it was great. It makes me feel weird that she wanted to have sex with a fish. Oh, wow, Holden's into it. Yeah, yeah. I like feeling weird and naughty and bad. I do.
Starting point is 01:09:14 You know what I mean? I do, but not necessarily when it's about. animals I guess. That's just me. That's my little thing. I don't find the animal. It's a saucy little fish boy. Oh no.
Starting point is 01:09:26 My, my brizier just fell off. Does, fish don't even have penises. Oh, no. Are you going to put your hands in his gills? Oh my God, dude.
Starting point is 01:09:37 I'd fucking. Mouth fucking. You don't even know how that's sex with it. You don't even know. You don't know what you're going to put your mouth on. I'd fucking And find a way to fuck that fish man.
Starting point is 01:09:50 Hell yeah. Any which way but lose, all right? I'd fucking slam down so difficulty on that fish. I believe in you. In such a challenging manner that he'd be like, am I fucking playing in a professional sports league right now or am I having fuck sex with this guy? I think you're having fuck sex with it.
Starting point is 01:10:10 Yeah. If that's your fetish, just trying to figure out how to have sex with things that don't have genitals. Yeah. And be like, what do I do with all these eels? That's going to be, or what is it, gills. What is it?
Starting point is 01:10:20 I don't know. I don't know what it is. Whatever. I don't know what kind of holes of fish has, all right? I'm covered in sweat. I'm covered in sweat right now. Hold it. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 01:10:28 It's unicorn glow. Getting so dark. Why is this, is there an eclipse? Yeah. Is the moon covering the sun? I don't think so. Or I think maybe I'm going. Blind.
Starting point is 01:10:44 I don't. Ah, we can't see them. That's right. You can't see shit. Whoa. Here we go. I don't know why I'm sorry for getting mad. Why are you scaring us? I don't know. I don't know.
Starting point is 01:10:56 Oh my God, he is. All right. Please silence whilst I implore you with a blind item. I like her spooky blind items voice as if that if you were blind, you immediately become evil. You mere mortals cannot handle the blindness of these items. I think we can. It's probably fine. It'll be some, but it'll be some fun, celebrity goss.
Starting point is 01:11:25 Much like what the one-named A-List singer is doing, this A-List rapper is going to try and take away what somebody else already owns because he thinks as a celebrity he is more important than the other person. Jay-Z and Beyonce. Yes. Well, no, no, no, no, no. Beyonce was the one we've talked about before. Who do you think the A-List rapper is trying to trademark something? Oh, it's not. it's not the same story.
Starting point is 01:11:48 Okay. It's not the same story, but yes, I am referring to the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, A-List singer, okay. Is Beyonce. What is the A-List rapper? Who is the A-List rapper that is trying to do the same thing right now? Trying to do the same thing with their children? Not with children.
Starting point is 01:12:03 Kanye. Yes. And he's trying to, he's trying to, uh, uh, trademark the phrase, Sunday service. Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sunday service. Just trying to brand, uh, uh, uh, uh, just trying to brand, uh, uh, uh, religion is a complete Kanye move. It's trying to say that it should
Starting point is 01:12:20 just shorten it to. He's going to take the word Sunday and that every time any person says the word Sunday, we have to pay him a quarter. Or church or God or Jesus. I mean, I get it. I would actually love if he bought the word Jesus. Oh, yeah. There's got to be
Starting point is 01:12:38 a price on his head, right? Man, I'd love it. Yeah, we need to write a Kanye Midsummer. Midsummer. I think that's a great idea. That'd be great. So Beyonce, we talked about this a week or so ago. She's been trying to trademark Blue Ivy, her child's name, and is in this big court battle with this wedding company that already trademarked it. Kanye West, he's trying to trademark Sunday service. He applied for exclusive ownership of Sunday service so that he can put it on clothing and dresses, footwear, headwear jackets. We already saw these. How much money was it for the sweatshirt with like Sunday service? If I remember, I believe it was over $200. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:13:19 And, uh, yeah, lounge wear, scarred, shirts, socks, tops. He's trying to get it, slap it on everything. But the U.S. patent and trademark office shut him down. Someone already has registered the name. So I'm sure he's going to go after him. Damn it. Hell yeah. Good.
Starting point is 01:13:33 Good, good, good, good, good. What? What? It's just, you know, I think that, you know, he's fighting for what he believes in. And, uh, and I support it. Yeah. And that's why for me. I'm trying, so for Jack and ease, I want to trademark TGIF.
Starting point is 01:13:49 Oh, I like that. Can we start doing Are You Afraid of the Darks at the end of the night? Yes. Absolutely. All right. Blind item number two to shock and terrify you. The feds have opened an investigation into this reality star with a massive family. They are looking into tax evasion and money laundering.
Starting point is 01:14:14 Oh, and get this one. human trafficking. What? Jesus. Huge reality show. I mean, it can't be Kim Kardashian. No, but it's a different massive reality family. You like this family.
Starting point is 01:14:29 Is it the Duggers? No, you jerk. Whoa. It would make sense if they were human trafficking, though. That's why you would have all those children. I would actually be surprised because I keep up with the Duggers. Oh, yeah. What are, wait, so another huge...
Starting point is 01:14:44 A patriarch, big... family. The partridge family. Yes. No. It's not sister-wise. It's Cody Brown. How fucking dare you speak this bullshit fucking to me?
Starting point is 01:14:57 He's not trafficking. He's not. He's not human trafficking. I don't know what he's trafficking. The family fled to Flagstaff. Say that. Fucking 12 times fast. Arizona, Flagstaff Arizona recently and
Starting point is 01:15:13 yeah, it was in the last season. media outlets in Arizona lawyers are speculating that the state may prosecute. It is interesting because I will say it is a common theme on the show, that they are constantly skipping town. Well, I do believe they are evading taxes. Most of those, like, plural families are just riding off of the government. Yeah, I can definitely see that. I don't know about the human trafficking, but who know, but you know what? They got a lot of people, and they got a lot.
Starting point is 01:15:43 It's like you can't watch all of them at one time. Who knows what's happening in the interim? I do follow all of them on social media. And of course, you know what? They're not showing any of the human trafficking on there. And so I, it's scary. It's scary. I could see them getting away with it, though.
Starting point is 01:15:58 It's almost like you can't trust anyone. How dare you? Yeah. The Browns are perfect. They're a perfect family. They're a perfect family. I have yet one more item for the blinds. An eye for an eye
Starting point is 01:16:16 Tooth for a tooth And the whole world goes fly I'll set you free That was from Cisteract Hop on brothers Rap on Oh da da da da da da da Remember that
Starting point is 01:16:28 From the second one? I think it was from the first one I remember most of the first one pretty well I don't know if it was the first one Whoa All right maybe it was the second one With all the kids Yes
Starting point is 01:16:39 Yeah the second one Nobody didn't any learning But the teacher I'm old people Goldberg, and I don't like all these kids. Yeah, you've seen it. You know, you get the gist of Sister Act 2 back in the habit. This permanent A-plus-plus list, Oathlete, who doesn't do the athlete thing any longer. Why are you giving us sport people again?
Starting point is 01:17:07 He's married. He also offered a waitress the other night in Miami $25,000. to have sex with him. No. She declined. She declined. Then he offered her 50K. What?
Starting point is 01:17:20 She still said, no, no, no. That's silly. I would have said, yes. $50,000. She must add some gazongas. Oh, yeah. Obviously, this dude doesn't give a fuck about being caught then. It better not be A-Rod.
Starting point is 01:17:35 No, but close. Tiger Woods. Oh, that was good. Oh, this is the same thing that happened last week. Michael Jordan. No. Closer to A-Rod. You were close with A-Rod.
Starting point is 01:17:46 That doesn't help me in anyway. Name the other Yankee that everyone knows. Daryl Strawberry. Fuck's sake. Can we leave that man alone? Hasn't he been to it up? I have no idea. I just have a name.
Starting point is 01:18:00 The other Yankee, it's not A-Rod. Not A-Rod. Jeeter. Dirt Jeter. Oh my God. I am a nerd girl. I am a sports. It's a door.
Starting point is 01:18:14 I know a ball, and if you give it, I will say what it is. I know it. Yeah, I'm pretty great. Sorry if I've taken your soul with these blind items. Prepare yourself next week for another tale of terror. No, you're right. I am scared of him. I am definitely, I'm a thousand percent scared of him.
Starting point is 01:18:35 I don't want you to ever go blind. No, because then he's going to become spooky spooky. I ain't got time for that. Can you imagine he did to do the episode? Have you always talked like that? What do you mean? This is my natural speech. It's so long.
Starting point is 01:18:49 It's very long. On that note, don't worry. We're going to get you out of here just in time so you don't have to hear the spooky voice anymore. Thank you guys so much for joining us on this week's page is seven. And we're listening to our many spooky tales of positivity coming from our Lizzo concert. My name is Jackie Zabrowski. You can follow me at Jack That Worm on Instagram. My name is Holda McNeely.
Starting point is 01:19:13 you can find me in frightening spaces such as Twitch. Twitch.tv.tv.tv.tv.combed. Oh. And you can see Jackie there on Friday nights getting murdered. TGIF trademarked by Holden and Jackie. By the way, murdered. By murdered, I meant hammered. And also check out our Patreon regular weekly content every single week, a half an hour at least of us gabbing about. The shows we're watching and all that good stuff.
Starting point is 01:19:39 You're going to love it. You're never going to want to miss it. Just five bucks a month. You can't beat that price. Check it out. Patreon.com forward slash page seven podcast. I'm Natalie Jean. You hear that? Mary production crew.
Starting point is 01:19:54 That's my name. You can find me at the Natty Jean. I'm all bullshit. We love you guys. Thank you so much. We'll talk to you next week. Bye. Bye-bye.
Starting point is 01:20:07 This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors. You can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.