Page 7 - Episode 328: Going to Toon Town

Episode Date: November 7, 2019

Molly is back (and she brought lil Zelda!)! We gab about Keanu Reeves new beau, My Chemical Romance going on tour, and can Holden make it through the whole episode without cursing in front of the baby?    LA, Chicago, Pontiac & Milwaukee, we're coming for ya and we're bringing our hottest goss. Come see Page 7 and Wizard and the Bruiser LIVE!    Get $20 off your fertility test when you go to http://modernfertility.com/page7. Make your day a little more perfect at http://perfectbar.com/page7. Go to http://stamps.com, click on the microphone at the top of the homepage, and type in PAGE7 to claim your special offer today! Visit http://untuckit.com and use code PAGE7 for 20% off at checkout.     Join our Squirrel Army! Our Patreon supporters get weekly bonus episodes and help out the show!     Deadly Roulette, Stringed Disco, Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/ Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Eat me, barbecue. We once were pets, but now we're food. We won't stay fresh for various before we finish this song. White man, a red man from east nor the south. You're making Zelda cry, Jackie. Put it in your mouth. We have so many things, Holden that is not the song from Madam's Family Values.

We are celebrating so many things today. We are celebrating, well, we are celebrating our, love of Halloween and kissing it goodbye. We are entering into my favorite time of the year, which is gubble, couple, guble, gull, turkey, turkey, turkey, turkey, turkey. And on top of everything, welcome back, Mother of Two, Molly Neffel to page seven. I am very happy to be here. You might be able to hear the suckling noise.

The suckling sounds of Zelda. Straight up milk getting thrown around right now. Oh, my God, Holden. Oh, this is great. Holden. How do you feel? I can feel how. How does it feel?

You know, I'm just reminded of this viral video that's been going around of a woman at, like, a music festival who was literally squirting her breast milk all over people. Did you see this? It squirts. No. She was just partying her ass off. I guess she, because you can't just make milk when eves, right? Yes and no. Okay.

Expound? This is great, because you're. It's happening while you're talking about it. Yeah, I'm multitasking. So it's fucking weird as hell. I talk a lot about how weird it is when I had Freddy, but it's still weird. And you have to think about your baby. If you think about the baby, sometimes you will start lactating.

Wow. What? No, what? Yeah. It is insane. I am, again, back to the day that I just remember, you explaining pregnancy things to me at a bar with empty glasses of my beer. I am 32 years old and I barely know anything.

I mean, there's no, I was going to say there's no reason to know, but that's not exactly true. We all should know these things, but we don't learn them. But we don't learn them. And so then you learn them and you're like, ex squeeze me. Like, I have to do what? Yeah, it was like all the fun rules that I learned when planning a wedding. Yes. That make no sense.

And there's a really interesting essay about it in the book, Trick Mirror by Gia Dolatino that I loved, called To the I, dread, I believe, or something like that. And she breaks down the whole history of all this bullshit that we all have decided is now. It's the same thing as Valentine's Day. It's just a bunch of companies got together and we're like, here's a new rule, so that you can pay more money. And isn't that why

Thanksgiving is the best of all of the holidays? Yes. Yes. You can celebrate if you want, and if you don't, all you're doing is eating. All you do is get you go, you hang out, you drink. It gives me a reason to start drinking. 6 o'clock in the morning when I start working on a turkey.

Now I finally get it. I'm slaving all day. And every time anyone comes to your, I go, get away from me. I've got things to do. And I love it. Yeah, Thanksgiving is absolutely the best holiday. And I was never really a Macy's parade person until you, Jackie. You are really the person who got me on to it. You're welcome.

I remember when I first moved away and I was so sad. And we were Marco Poloing over the Macy's Day parade because it was just so ridiculous because I was awake because, you know, I wasn't sleeping because I was sad. Oh, she's done eating. Isn't that so weird? She just ate from your body. Yeah, she gained nutrients from your body. How full of milk are you right now?

Constantly. I mean, it's just, and, you know, it's like, just like planning a wedding and then you become a person who only can talk about wedding planning because it's all you're fucking thinking about. That's me, but with, you know, expounding milk from my body. I'm like, ask me more questions about it. It's all I can talk about.

I'm sorry. I don't mean to. I just, you're talking to two very, you know, I just, I don't, I'm nipple dumb. If there's one thing, everyone knows about Jackie Zabrowski, nipple dumb. Yeah, I'm nipple stupid as well. But also, I'm kind of sad because, like, I, you know, I get it. Like, your life is very much more difficult with the child rearing, I feel like, and everything. But I wish I could maybe have milk sometime.

You want to, you know what I mean? Not in, not ball milk, but, you know, chest milk. You just want some time, like, just the option. I would be nice to feel like I was feeding someone with my milk milk. Who would you feed? Oh, the homeless probably, just kind of line up outside. All right, grapes of wrath.

It's all we remember from grapes of wrath. Don't even try and lie. That's all we remember. People would be like, you know that guy who hangs out on the corner of 21st in Dittmars and he just nurses, anyone who's hungry? It would be great because everyone will start calling you Steinbeck,

but no one will know why. It's like, oh, he must be really smart. He must be secretly writing these great American novels No, no, no, no, you just milk it himself. Just milking. Nah, Holden's like, if you can't, if you missed lunch, you know, and you find yourself a little peckish at three, just go find Holden. Well, and that's the thing, and I've heard of the people doing this before.

I don't want to name names, but have you guys tried anyone's milk before? I do know someone who tried their friend's milk. Well, you kind of, I guess there are some, like, partners who aren't the nursing partner who haven't tasted it, but I feel like it's kind of impossible not to. Oh, really? Because you warm up bottles, or at least with Freddie. was a preemie so we were giving her bottles like all the time for the first few months and so to test the bottle the easiest way is to like put it on your arm or to like

taste it so I have definitely done that yeah I've tasted I've as a nanny I've tasted another woman's breast milk and I thought weird about it and what did you think it's pretty yeah what's you think delicious is it sweet it's really sweet right sweet and fatty yeah it's just it's fine I don't I don't think I wouldn't go out of my way remember when they were doing like remember when they were doing the breast milk ice cream like I I don't think I would eat, I don't think I'd go that far. I wouldn't say no if it was offered to me, but I'm not going to spend a bunch of money on it. Yeah, I wouldn't go out of my way for it.

But it's like a light and sweet coffee, you know, it's just like very, very light and very sweet coffee. Well, I don't like light and sweet. You don't. You get like a dark. Just a little bit of milk. Yeah, there you go. You're boring. Just a little bit of milk.

Just a little bit of milk. I think that, see, now, but how do you feel, Molly, sorry, this is another dumb, the nipple dumb question is that, so do you hear about this woman that squirt in her own teats on other people in public? Don't you look at that, like, isn't that like liquid gold? Yeah, I would, that's the thing. I just wouldn't go through all the trouble to like,

in order to make myself spontaneously, you know, produce milk, yeah, I'd have to think about the baby. I'd have to like maybe, you know, kind of do some handwork in there. And at that point, right, why am I wasting? and there's plenty of ways to attack strangers without putting your precious milk on them. You know, you can spit on them, if you want.

I guess it's not as fun. I think it's powerful because I think people think that breast milk is scary and mysterious. I'm terrified of it. It is powerful. Oh, Holden found the video. I don't, ugh, you and you're weird, not that there's anything wrong with it.

Molly, describe what's going on right now. Describe what's going on right now. She's twerking and has like a mist of breast milk. That's not really. Okay. Okay, let's, here we go. All right, so she's, she's twerking, she stopped twerking, she took out her boobs. What? In the fuck, she's just squirting people with it.

Oh. And they're okay with it? Yeah, that's, the weirdest part is that people aren't running away. I'm screaming. Oh, my God, they're just getting involved. They're getting into it. Oh, God. They open, she opened her mouth and she's, this other woman's just drinking from it.

I think that's a woman is just drinking from it. Man, she can get some distance. She's got a lot. Have you tried to, like. She's got a good supply. Have you tried for distance before? I have not. for distance. Sometimes, you know, the baby will come off of the boob while you're still

while your body is still going and then you end up kind of spraying them in the face, which I always feel a little guilty about. Yeah, no, it's really something, as soon as I stopped breastfeeding, my first kid, I completely forgot about all of it because it's just one of those things where you're like, let us never think about that again. And then as soon as this one came, it all came back to me. So now it's like, you know, it's like playing guitar or something. You're like, oh, yeah, I remember I learned this before. And then it just comes back to you.

Now you have this really specific body of knowledge. Wow. Oh, my God. Don't your breath. Aren't you in pain? Aren't you always in pain? It is. I'm not sure if I'm just not in pain or if you get used to it.

The first few days it fucking sucks. And all the lactation people are like, if it hurts, you're doing it wrong. And it's like, there is a leech on my body using their mouth to eat from me. Of course it hurts. Of course. And, you know, it made me very upset the article you sent about who was it that loves just popping children out? The Gaines is. Oh, my God.

Jojo and Chip, so I got, of course, I had to make sure that some articles were geared towards Molly for Molly's grand return. Yeah, so Jojo said that Chip gains from, of course, you know, we love our chip and Jojo, that Chip wants more children. that he keeps saying like we want we're of course we're going to keep having more kids of course we're going to have more children can you imagine it's like he's not the one having them but she seems fine with it too but i feel like she is bull-essing us okay because there's a child in the room so i'm not going to curse for the rest of this are you going to be are you going to be good for the rest of this show i promise to the children of america and the rest of the podcast world that i will not curse or have or hear a curse for the rest of the show. And if I hear a curse, I will scream curse. Because I can't promise I'm not going to curse. She can't understand me yet.

I'm going to let loose. I get it while you can. I'm at the house. I'm going to curse it up. All my two and a half months of cursing, I've been storing in. I've got to let it out. Well, the thing about Chip Gaines wanting to have more kids with Joanna Gaines is that he gets to fuck Joanna Gaines.

Of course he wants to have more kids. Don't do this. I'm immediately having flashbacks to when Ed Larson from the brighter side and I were at Disney. And I curse very loudly, way too often because I'm still 12 for sure. And so we had a game that whoever cursed the most, by the end of the day, we had to buy each other a cocktail. And you know what, guys, I won. I cursed less than Ed Larson. So just throwing that out there.

I feel like, uh, I'm trying to decide if that surprises me or not. I, I, I don't know who I would bet on if I had to. I just think, I mean, you give me, like, if you tell me what to do, I'll do it. If I have to pay attention to how I speak, I'll do it. I don't usually because I'm a trash person, but that doesn't mean I can't have discipline. It's weird. I think that, and even now, even though my parents don't mind if I curse, I don't think, I am, I just have that self-edit that just naturally happens when I go home.

I think that's the only time I don't curse. Yeah, I still feel a little bit strange cursing in front of any adult who is the age of my parent, not only my own parents. What is that? And they'll curse. I'm starting to get more comfortable with it. This is a total sidetrack, but I also, is it a regionalism of whether you say curse or swear?

I always grew up saying swear. People out here say curse. I don't know. And then some people say curse. Cuss. See, in Florida they always said cuss. Cuss. Cuss.

And not that I'm against cuss, it's just every time I would say the word curse, you mean cursing? Like, yes, I mean cussing. You fucking, you can do it. I can do it. I'm not in the same studio. I'm across the country cursing.

This is the cursing rule only applies to the studio. Yes, because, I mean, you guys have headphones on. Zelda can't hear me. Zelda literally has no idea where she is. Zelda can feel it in her soul. She's so cute. She's so cute and precious and pure and balding.

She is bald. She has a bald situation that I'm very, I heard if you get them on alopecia early, the suicidal thoughts don't happen until they're 20s. She was born with a prodigious amount of hair, and then it falls out in these weird, I call it reverse male pattern baldness. It's like where George Costanza has his hair, she has none.

Right. And she stays on top. It's very interesting. And she has a very long rat tail at the back of her head. Well, I'm already sorry, Zelda, because that is also how I was born, so she's forever going to have struggles with how thick, which is a good thing, yes, on some parts of your body, but how thick and robust your hair is.

Is that a lifelong struggle for you? I just send the kids out to me. I'll give them some life lessons. I got to write a book for your kids. I'm just going to be like, this is what Aunt Jackie has learned. Chapter 3, body hair. It's thick and it's coarse. Learn to love it, ladies.

I mean, that's how I raised my niece. You know, she's used to this. I'm still hung up on the fact that Chip Gaines is like, he just wants to keep having sex with Joanna Gaines, and he can do that without pro-creating, yeah, for sure. And the way they talk is so smug about, like, how easy and fun and great it is to be a parent. And even though I'm not a parent, I still get annoyed reading like, oh, it's great.

We don't even ever want to stop having kids. It's amazing. Just all of it being, she even said, like, being pregnant. I love being pregnant. Those people are mysteries to me. I know they're out there. That's going to be me. I can't wait.

I know it's going to be me. What's fun about being pregnant? I've ever been playing a day in my life. I've met two people in real life who do feel that way. What is enjoyable about it? They feel, I think it's the whole, like some people. I guess, maybe they feel really good when they're on birth control, too. Are those people out there?

It's the hormones. Like, people are like, the hormones just worked with me and made me feel great. Oh, that sounds great. Like, murdering everyone when I'm on hormone at birth control, and I feel like murdering everyone twice when I'm pregnant, you know? So, like, I think it's just how your body reacts to the hormones. Right. Some people are like, I felt, and then other people feel joyful that there's, like,

a person living inside them. Yeah. I want to feel an alien. I want to feel an alien inside me. It's gonna burst out of me. That's the only thing is that I think I would have to beg for a C-section because I'm definitely want it to come out of me like I'm an alien. It is pretty alien.

You're gonna get a fucking D-section. You know what I mean? What does that mean? Where's it going to come from? Just fuck the baby out. You curse, curse. Oh my God, curse. And that was just a curse.

That was like a vile. A vile thing to say. Oh, yeah. I like it because Holden turned red like he was actually in trouble. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, Zelda. I want to apologize to the children of the world who are listening to this. If you'd like a fresh milking and you're homeless, I will be outside of the student center.

Let me make it up to you as Holden just pulls down his shirt. That I can't. On the case. I never actually watched the video of that woman squirting her milk all over the music festival, and I can't get the image out of my head. And that is vile. It's a strange choice. Yeah.

You know, and the fact is, I don't think that it should be, I think people should nurse wherever they want in public, but it also is bodily fluid. And I think, like, desigmatizing, you know, public breastfeeding is not necessarily the same as spraying your milk on people's things. Yes, it is different. On concert goers. You know what other things that I can't, for some reason,

unsee in my head that I've created the vision of, it's Suzanne Summers at 73 banging on her husband, Alan Hamill, because apparently they have a very, very avid sex life still, and I say, God bless it. I say God bless it. So apparently Susan Summers and her husband have been taking these things that they refer to as their sex shots. They're called PT-141, and they're made from plant hormones. They take one shot a week, and man, they're saying that they usually bang twice a day. I mean, I hope so, because I don't want everything to be, you know,

slow and boring by the time I'm in my 70s. I want that to be my Renaissance. That's the time when you do it. I mean, she said, like, she's big. At first, I really did, though, because I, again, 12 years old, I read it, I was like, old people having sex. And then I was reading through, I was like, fuck yeah, girl. They've been married for 43 years.

I can curse, I'm in a different studio. They've been married for 43 years. and the fact that they're banging twice a day and it's just plants they're just thinking plants I kind of want to try it to see where I mean it'll be same as when I tried Goops dumb fuck moon dust or whatever

and you know who is you know who does the Lord's work in terms of normalizing people old people having sex is Grace and Frankie never have I wanted to have sex with an 81 year old as much as I want to have sex with Jane Fonda Oh my God and Ernie Hudson And Mucci Pucci

And Sam Elliott, all of them. I want to smear it on my toast. Yeah, who's the sexiest oldest slab? I mean, I want to slap an Ernie Hudson on it because please look up a, I think Ernie Hudson is way sexier now than he was. Yeah, agree. And all of the Fonda's as well, all of every Fonda, every last one. Ernie Hudson, 1945, so do the math on that.

He's a year older than my father. 73. Yeah, dude. 73. And he has some, some sex appeal, I have to say. I would hop-earn it. He wouldn't even have to ask. Well, I would hope that he would ask it.

Well, he would actually need to give consent, yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, he would give consent to this young thick, right? He's like the, he's the grandpa version of Skeet Ulrich, who Skeed Ulrich is hotter than as a daddy than as a teen. Ernie Hudson hotter as a granddaddy than as a daddy. Oh, for sure. I've been getting, I'm getting nervous about how much I've been into granddaddies lately. It all started because, which also, Molly, we have to talk about you please. you have to look up the there's this there's this movie we talked about it last week but there's this

movie coming out where stanley toucci and colin firth are in a relationship and they they like travel around europe because one of them is is as dementia and it's going to be so upsetting but also stanley tochie and colin for i was gonna i'm i've never been a colin forth uh gal i know he he looks so much to me like the dad from boy meets world you're not a flat further i'm not a flat Is the name of the fans? I'm not a flat... All I can think of is is infuriating plotline in love actually.

And the fact that he looks so much like the dad from Boy Meets World to me, who is not him, but all my life... Dad for Boy Meets World is more scrunch face, though. He is more scrunch face, and he's also the dad from American History X. But I always look at him, and I'm like, why is everybody crushing on the dad

from Boy Meets World, even though that's not him and I know it's not him? But he's just such a plain. He's just such a plain British dork. I get to people like. He reminds me at Tom a little bit from 90-day fiancé, actually, Darcy's new flame. He does kind of look like Tom. No, I'm Flatfurther all the way, though. I think that, I mean, Firth is way.

If we're going to slap a greater than sign, we're going to say, I'm, Firth greater than, what's his name, Tom? Tom. Tom. How about Stanley Tucci? Who's greater than between Stanley Tucci and Colin Firth? Yeah, who would win in a fight and who would win in a love-making, session.

Stanley Tucci, both of them. Okay. Yeah. For sure. I don't know who. I don't understand. I don't know. I've loved that you answer that question without even pondering like what is winning a lovemaking

session entail? I know. Boy, you said it. It sounds like between each other who's going to win. Like who's going to come the most? Yeah. Jay on the Crackers situation. I thought, I thought, yeah, the come.

I thought the like who has the most jubilant cumbration. But I think the real question is who wins in the competition for, Jackie's loins. Right. Who gets your situation? Who gets your tunnel? What, Stanley Tucci or Colin Firth? Yeah, who's going to Tune Town? It's the scene in there.

It's their genitals and you're the tunnel and then you get into Tune Town. Oh my God, are my breasts the like the shining sun that, like the cartoon sun that's singing? Oh, my! Going to Tune Town is a great you can listen for a fucking...

He could go to Tune Tate. People say I bring up sex too much, and I just, in the reviews. And I'm sorry, and I'm just going to apologize, okay? And then we'll just keep moving on. They say, wait, they say you bring up sex too much? Are they, is Jackie's my name? Am I not, am I not involved? Oh, it's always my fault.

All I do is, I am, I started, I started to worry about myself because I thought it was something I was going to grow out of my 20s, but all I do is think about sex. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I like to watch things where people are having sex. I was watching The Lifehouse, like, and I wanted, I was just like, are they going to fuck? Like, they're not going to fuck in this. I would have watched it, though.

There was something recently, some superhero movie announcement that I cannot remember for the life of me, but Gideon said it, and I just very casually said, I'd watch that tape. And he was like, wait, what? This womb's on fire, begging for, For a baby, best notify my next of kin, this womb shall explode. The combo of AbFab back in my life, plus my tears every time I see a child, really make my womb conflicted.

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ugh, she's got the skin of an 80-year-old and like. She's so old. Why is it? It was like, come on. She looks beautiful. She's beautiful. And she looks like the woman for Keanu Reeves, like she just, there's something. I haven't even heard her voice, and yet even just the photos of her, I'm like, that looks like the most warm ray of light human being, like, just at a glance.

Yeah. So it feels great. They look great together. Yeah, they do look good together. And the only thing, and it's not even remotely a negative reflection on Keanu Reeves, but the only thing that's weird about all of the coverage of it is that it's like good for, clap it up, standing ovation for Keanu Reeves because he's dating somebody who is his own age. But, you know, so that's the only, like, weird thing about it. It's like, she has gray hair. Give him an award for dating someone with gray hair.

And also, they're not even looking to the fact that, like, of course, then they're bringing up all the, like, well, you know about his ex-girl or, like, his last girlfriend with the baby and, like, her untimely death. Of course, they're bringing all that up of just, like, between that and, like, he should never be in a relationship ever again after having that kind of upset. You, like, no. What? Yeah. How many years has it been? Well, also, of course, he deserves happiness. Yes, everyone, even if it was one year.

Yeah. You know what I mean? I know. It doesn't matter. People are allowed to move on, and how dare you shame him for trying to move on with his life? And he took his time. And also, so he came out, they stepped out on the red carpet together. It was Keanu Reeves, and her name is Alexandra Grant.

They were attending the Lacma Art and Film Gala presented by Gucci in L.A. A. couple of nights ago. and they have been long time friends as well as work partners, which I immediately started to tear up as I'm reading through this, of that they've just worked together for a long time, and it's been just friends. Yeah. That's amazing.

Like, oh, that's a love story. I love it. I hope it works out because they seem great. I mean, like I said, I saw two pictures of them together, and I'm like, oh, my God, can you be like my uncle and aunt or whatever? And I'm late to the Keanu train in terms of, of how awesome a person he is. I was always just like, yeah, that hot mimbo, sure, I like him.

He's nice and pretty. He's a hot mimbo. He's a hot mimbo. But I didn't know that he was like deep and beautiful and amazing. It's a soul. Has it quite a soul. Yeah, absolutely. Well, apparently she illustrated both of his books, which I didn't know he had two books out

called Ode to Happiness and then another one was called Shadows. And then together they co-founded ex-artist's books, a publishing house that focuses on publishing thoughtful, high-quality artist-centered books that fit within and between genres. And I didn't know that that... There's so many things we don't know about people. You know, this is beautiful. It's all beautiful. And I think that maybe I'm just hearkening back to my idea that people are people and how dare we...

You know, I don't know. I was on it. I feel like she's talking like this because she actually wants to be pregnant right now. True or false. I don't want to be pregnant right now. It's very uncut—I almost burst into tears. Molly, I was walking down the street with Holden, and we saw two little kids dressed up like police officers on Halloween,

and they were in an NYPD car because the cops had gotten out for their parents to take pictures of them in the car. And I almost burst into tears. Yeah, that's very sweet. I got to say, as much as grown-up Halloween, you know, rules, kid Halloween is incredibly sweet. And that was, yeah. Oh, yeah, you guys went out with the Elmo.

Two Elmo's. Yeah, we had matching Elmo's. And it was, you know, still the oldest is too young to really understand. So she was just like, oh, an M&M, oh, my God, give me more. But it was very, very fun. And, like, being out there and seeing all the kids in there, you know, it's like a fucking magic holiday. You're a kid, you get to dress up And then people just give you free shit

You candy? You walk up to their homes You get to look inside the door And see what other people's lives are like It's just a wonderful holiday. God, I do love when I'm walking down the street. Like, that's one thing you get with New York That you don't get in a lot of other places.

Like, I really try to get a good look into every apartment I pass. You know what I mean? Like if the windows are up, if it's night time. That's very scary. There's one old man that lives around the, away from my place and I kind of check in on him because he's always sitting. Does he know you're checking it on it?

No, no. He has no idea. Stocking. Yeah, it's, it's, I, but you know, I just walk past and I'm like, oh, there's the old man. And he sits in his little chair. He's got a little pipe and he watches baseball and he reads a book. And I'm just like, oh, good. He's still saved. He's still alive.

I don't think he lives with anyone, you know. Yeah. Yeah, but then that's the worst part, though, is the day, because I remember I used to do that in Brooklyn, too, where I had Dolly, and she would go, morning, babe, as I would pass. And I go, morning, Dolly. And then I would walk. and then one day she wasn't there. She wasn't there.

No one day she wasn't there. And she fucking died. That's a scene in your biopic, Jackie. What you described is incredibly cinematic. I'm not going to cry. Hey, babe. That's so sad. No, I went up and I knocked on the door because I knew her husband Patty,

and I went over because I wanted to see if Dolly was okay, and he was dressed all in black. And I felt like it was in mourning for a year. It was like a serious biopic defining moment. to your life right now. This is a fun, like, pop culture podcast. I'm crying. Now I'm crying.

Why are you crying? He was dressed. Are you sure you're not pregnant? He was dressed on black? Was he, like, was he going on some, like, fun Halloween parade? Was that why he was dressed all black? Why was he dressed all black? Yeah, it was a break.

No, no, that was a joke. That was a joke story. Ha, yeah. Speaking of dressing in all black and going on a parade, Everybody online was freaking out when My Morning Jacket announced that they were reuniting for a tour. And I missed the, I was, they were after my time to be upset and listen to that music. Oh, you never got into my morning jacket? No, my chemical.

Oh, wait, wait, did I see my morning jacket? You mean my chemical romance? Why do I always have to miss say something every podcast? That's an easy mistake to make. But yeah, my chemical romance, yeah, my morning jacket, I've seen like a bunch of times. I was about to say, it was like, you love my morning jacket. It was like, wait, they broke up? Wait, they're on top.

I've seen him like eight times, I think. Why don't you check it? My couple of romance are reuniting for like, at this point, it's like just like four shows. Everyone's flipping out, like talking about getting the eyeliner back out and everything. And I never did the emo thing. And I was like, you know what? I'm going to throw on Black Parade. I throw on Black Parade.

And I'm like, okay, this is, I actually think I might like this. I had this experience with Good Charlotte. Yeah, like two years ago. Nice. I heard Anthem and I was like, this is a banger. I was like totally into it. Meanwhile at the time, I was like, no. Yeah.

That's not dark enough for me. It's not like speaking to me like it would have if I was into it in middle or high school. Oh my God. It would have because I do love my chemical romance. And it is because I, but it's also sames because I put it on not too long ago. It was like, no, this is still great. Yeah. It is still, it gets me, man.

Yeah. Well, I also, I think I had a bit of a chip on my shoulder because I was somebody who was like, because I liked Green Day and because I like, you know, early Green Day. Yeah, me too. They're all posers. Yeah, same. I remember seeing the video for Helena, for my chemical romance,

which is, I watched that also. Like, after I finished watching, or listening to the Black Parade, I put on a couple of other videos. And I was like, oh, yeah, I remember now. I watched that video, and I was like, I used to get made fun of a lot in middle school, and I would have made fun of that guy,

like the lead singer or whatever, you know what I mean? Yeah. And it was just so theatrical and over the top in this, like, pop. emo thing that just I had no connection to but now I'm like no this is like legitimately like really good that's that's maybe that's what your 30s are all about when you're in high school you got something to prove yeah and so you can't like something and in college you really can't like something no in college

you got to go way darker no no no no no you have to be cool way darker or way more like um like I was listening to a lot of jazz and stuff and I was listening to a lot of like CCR like that's when I up my classic rock game right no I'm the fucking down home girl. I drink a beer at lunch. Which, I mean, I had a great time, and I did drink a beer at lunch. You did have a beer at lunch.

And then in your 30s, it comes back. I've been trying to, I talked about this when I had Freddie that I had a really hard time thinking of songs to sing because, you know, you got to sing all the time to comfort the baby.

And with Freddy, for some reason, had the big red theme song in my head all the time. But with Zelda, inexplicably, I've been singing her alkaline trio lyrics because I listened to so much

Alkaline trio in college that it is, they are so embedded in my brain that no matter how sleep deprived or distracted I am, I can always do like the entirety of from here to infirmary. And so I'm singing just endless alkaline trio to this future emo child. Oh my God, she is gonna be a future emo. She can be walking around with, you know,

Billy Elish eyeliner on by the time. I mean, I feel like Emo is having a bit of a renaissance. Yeah, it is having a bit of a saunts. And yeah, Billy Elish, What? I can't say sants. Don't shorten it to sants. What? I can't say sants? It's a bit of a sance.

Well, you know what else is having a bit of a sance right now? The thin washing of Hollywood. Thin washing of Hollywood. I've got something to yell about. I do have something to yell about. I want to know. I think I have anger problems. Of course I do.

I was in anger management for many years. Thank you. And he was wearing all black because she died. She died. It was Jackie's so crying. It was not a parade. She died. She had passed away, and she was a life and she was a light that cared about Jackie at a time when no one else did.

Was it the day of her funeral or was he just, like, the old days when people would wear black for like three months? You wore black for a year. Wow. Jeez. I'm surprised he didn't also die shortly after. He probably wasn't truly in love with this. Actually, no, this is the reason why I bring this up is because I found out when I was in New York that he recently passed. I hope you're right in the screen.

So, listeners at home, if you have stories that are like this, send them to Jackie via DMs on her Twitter. She would love to read stories about the old people that meant something in your life that passed away. Well, sometimes you have to think about it, but sometimes you have to mourn, okay? Tell me who is being thin-washed because I thought like, back to our thin-washing. I was hoping we were moving ever-slowly to a better era. more, you know, fat love and fat acceptance. Well, not today, and not when it comes to fucking Batman

because they're talking about bringing Colin Farrell in for the penguin. Now, the thing is that I don't, you know, I know that I've said this many times. I don't usually care about these kind of things. But I am very, I do really like Batman a lot, okay? And I've always loved the penguin, which is why I would write our own comic books and most of my characters that were villains were always slightly portly, like Sweet P, the Pee with the top hat

that also had knives for hands. But Colin Farrell, is that going to gain a bunch of weight to be the penguin? Well, this is my question is, are they going to Norbert him? Like they did with another thin wash, Jim Carrey, as Dr. Robotnik,

aka the egg man, aka the part Henry should have gotten. And again, another part that Henry should have gotten is penguin in Batman and I am vying for my brother because this is ridiculous I'm sorry okay I'm sorry

so you guys say we started I started yelling about this to poor Jeff who had to sit and listen to me yell about this for at least 10 minutes and he's like yeah it's like Charlize their own and Monster it's like there are put like

how many hours of prosthetics do they have to put on her to make her ugly well you could have gotten someone that wasn't as beautiful to be ugly just like how we feel about La La Land there are so many actual triple threats

out there. Right. There are so many actual normal looking people out there. Right. Who can act. Exactly. Who can do it all. Or be big and do it.

I mean, yes. The funny thing about Penguin is, isn't Colin Farrell the type of actor who would just like love to gain weight and lose weight all up and down for a dramatic role? No. I don't think that he would. I'm sorry, not to be,

I'm not going to be negative about this. I'm assuming that he wouldn't. Uh-huh. Wow. That still came off very snippy. Well, because I'm a flat birther, but I'm not. a flat farreller, all right? I'm not, I'm not.

You know what? It's because of phone booth. You think that Firth is the superior, Colin? Yes, a phone booth, it all went downhill from phone booth, and I'm just not, I'm not a farreler. I'm a ferreler man. Colin, taking the greater sign back, Colin Farrell, greater than Colin Firth any day. Okay.

Probably not in terms of acting ability, but in terms of fucking ability, absolutely. Curse. I mean, I do feel like, I mean, if we're going to choose, which one I want to get drunk with in a bar, definitely Colin Farrell. You know what I mean? Yes. Oh my God. I would

prefer not to get drunk at a bar with Colin First. If you asked me, if I wanted to, I'd be like, no, thank you. But to have to be co-writers in a poetry writing competition that were kind of co-opping together to win the prize. Also Colin Farrell. Furth! Oh!

Are you kidding? Your love is like a fucking bitch. Ferrell's Irish. Irish people know from poetry. I'm about a curse I'm sorry, but I have to repeat that line. Live is like a

bad bitch. No, fucking. It's so funny. That's going to be a great poetry reading. It's so true. Life really is like a fucking bitch. Oh my God. We missed you.

We missed you. Molly. I feel like we haven't had a good, like, belly like my stomach hurt episode in a second. So, okay, so now there's two writing projects. The story of Dolly and Patty

and there are sad death. And then there's the poetry competition. And then there's Colin Farrell and a poetry reading. Life is like a fucking old. It sucks and sucks until it asks for more. Curse, curse.

That's actually very good insight. It's a one And then if Colin Firth was there, he'd be like, indeed, quite. Quite. And then, you know. Absolutely. He was all. I got nothing.

I got, I might as well be made a cardboard. I got nothing. Brilliant. Couldn't have said it better than myself. All right. I'm drunk as he's skunk. And I am. See, I think that would be fun and entertaining.

I'm in. Something I'm also sad that I didn't get to see because I imagine the belly laughs that would have come is. the live action Little Mermaid that was played last night on ABC. And I'm going to go ahead and say, Classist, because the only way you could watch it is if you had a cable authentication login. And I do not.

All right, I don't have cable. Unfortunately, we weren't able to, we were going to stream it and do live commentary, but we got totally jacked out of that deal. I was like, let me rent it. Like, it's not on who. Right. Ridiculous. But I watched.

on YouTube a couple of the songs I'm way over here and it looked like a very bad thing that is bad. All I know is that these couple of lines in this review that I read makes me so sad that I missed it because apparently in this live show they were going back and forth between the cartoon movie

and then them singing it live in a theater, right? So despite Latifah's best efforts She did well. Apparently she did great, right? Yeah, yeah, I liked her. I watched some of her poor unfortunate souls, and it was good. And she said, but then it went immediately back to the cartoons. It said the live action scenes felt far too low key. But then, apparently, John Stamos, who played the French chef.

He seemed exhausted. I just, I don't know why. He seemed out of breath and tired from the second he hit the stage. Same with Shaggy. Shaggy for Under the Sea, just from the, it was like, No stamina, no breath control. The thing about the live musicals is, again, it's a skill. Being a person who can sing live on stage takes effort.

This is my favorite thing about Lizzo, watching her play the flute on stage. Man, I'm like, the breath control you must have. Like, it is a physical skill. And all these dicks are like, yeah, let's do live musical theater. Like, it doesn't actually take fucking skill. And that's why Jesus Christ Superstar was so good because it was a bunch of people who are actually used to performing, you know, on stage. It was like, you know, either, you know, just actual musicians

or other, like, real actors and singers. And John Stamos, he can't do, but he's in yogurt commercial. He's not ready to sing on stage live, please. And especially, I know that he's done plays and things like that, and he does play guitar on stage with the Beach Boys a lot and things like that, but this is a whole different, musical theater is a whole different ballgame. Oh, yeah. I do love that apparently shagggy.

Shaggy performed under the sea and kissed the girl charmingly, but apparently he wore a half-finished crab costume that resembled a motor cross outfit more than a crustacean. He looked wildly out of place as he casually walked across the stage, covered in almost creepy puppets. And I have to see it. It sounds like a high school production. Like it sounds like Shaggy's mom didn't get the costume done.

Oh, my God. No way, would Linda Zabrowski not get the... those costumes. No damn way. It seemed like they were like they were making like five different musicals. Have I ever talked about my love of Shaggy on this show?

Not, to my knowledge. It wasn't you. It's really only that song. I love that song. I love that song. It was to me. I can't, I'm embarrassed and I also love that other one

from that same time period. I'm Shaggy and I like to yell. You're bombastic, Mr. Fantastic. No, the angel one. The angel one. That sounds like Angel of the morning, you know. Oh, my God. Just call me Angel in a morning, angel. I'm a sucker for Shaggy.

Yeah. Yeah. It's an embarrassing thing because it's not. I don't think he's actually good. Right. I mean, I think he's, you know, made in the studio a little bit. At least definitely, if you watch the Under the Sea, it was very apparent. He was felt very uncomfortable.

He seemed very uncomfortable. Yeah. Also, I haven't thought about him in about 15 years. Right. Stamos, too. And Stamos looked insane. And he kept going into these, like, falsettos that just felt bad. It just did not feel good.

Although, I will say, L.E. Cravalio was pretty great as The Little Mermaid. I thought that she did a good job. She gave exactly what she was supposed to give for this, because there's only so much variation you could do, without everyone losing their minds. I think that they did their best, but why is it that they keep trying to do these live action things and they're just not going well,

except for that one with Woody Harrelson, the All in the Family one, which was an interesting take on... Is that the same people, though? I mean, is that a completely different thing, right? Completely different thing. And they're actually, I think that they also just announced

that they're coming out with another live action of an old sitcom that is going to be done live with actors of our... time, which I'm into. Yeah, that's cool. And again, Jesus Christ Superstar was fucking incredible. But every other live, like, I watched that because the musical theater nerd in me is always interested, but they did Peter Pan years back, and it was just like,

miserable. It's all the Disney ones are really just not good. Yeah, and this is a controversial opinion, but I think a lot of the songs in those musicals aren't that good to begin with. Interesting. And so I know that's very, very, very. very hot take. Thank you. Yeah, you're welcome. Thank you, Zelda.

But, you know, reminding me that curses are not good. There's the breast. I keep like, I'm just like, what's going on with Zelda? I check in, and it's always the breast. And then if you look at the monitor, you can see it on the, on the monitor, too. I see breasts everywhere. I'm up above, so I can see it all. I'm not looking at your

breast, Molly. It is funny, though. I have this this, like, every time it happens, I'm like, oh my God, in my head. And then I'm like, no, this is normal. And come Completely fine. Actually, Holden, I want to commend you on the fact that this is the most grown-up I think I've ever seen you act of the fact that it's not like you're not looking at Molly and treating her as if she doesn't exist either.

So I appreciate you. Yeah, people don't know what to do. And the thing I'm way less weird about it this time too because at first, when I first had to do this, I was like, excuse me, you want me to take out my what in front of who? Whenever, yeah. In front of everybody all the time, my family, my friends, my work colleagues. And it was like so mortifying. And then I just, it's like, this time I'm just like, well, I have to fucking do it.

Like, I don't really, if I'm going to feed her, I can either not, like, I can either invite my friends over and then leave the room every time every 15 minutes. Or I can just be like, I guess all my friends see my boobs now. I bet there are women who do that. Yeah, I mean, that's what I did the first time. And, but yeah, then this time I'm just like, hey, I got to do it. And so. And you're only going to, you're only helping normalize it. Yeah, I'm doing it in front.

I'm doing it all the time everywhere in a Starbucks on the way. here on the subway, on the subway platform, while buying a phone. I did it well, like, well, like, I couldn't wait. The guy was taken too long, and I was like, I'm sorry, I've got to feed this baby well while I'm doing my credit card. And most of the time, people are doing surprisingly well. They, like, just maintain eye contact and don't say anything weird. And I understand it probably feels weird for them.

But, you know, I think that we, together, we can get through this. Prest! Yeah, that's what you should say. That's usually what you would recommend, right? Molly, yelling. Yeah, and scream breast. Breast. Well, I don't know if they were screaming breast at J.D. Scott's wedding, but I think that we...

I think it might have screamed breast. They may have... You've worked on your segla, so I've been away, Jackie. Yeah, yeah, I don't think they're getting better, Molly. I think I'm just, you know, you got a shoe hornem in. The problem is I've just been sitting here staring at this picture. So the third property brother, the property brother that no one cares about as much, J.D. got married on Halloween and had a Halloween.

I had to talk about this because I know that we're not, we're not always him and in Holland about the property brothers. I am. I know you are and I know that how much you love it. And now one of it, so how do you feel? Because Jonathan, one of the property brothers, which is an HGTV show in case you guys didn't know, Jonathan is dating Zoe Deschanel. Wow. I mean, good for him is all I have to say. I don't even like Joey DeCanelle that much, but, you know, Drew has been, has been like bringing his wife into the thruple, you know, for years, and I've always kind of felt bad for Jonathan, because Jonathan is the hotter one. He's the one who actually builds shit. Drew is just a real estate nerd.

Which is boring. So Jonathan deserves love, because he's always just the third wheel, but I don't know if he deserves Zoe Deschanel. That's a lot. a real step up. Wasn't a different brother with her too? There's a third brother. That guy is the third brother. He, doesn't he look like the guy from My Chemical Romance bringing it back all together? A little bit. Yeah, I think when everybody saw that third one, everyone was like, are they

related to the guy from My Chemical Romance? They are so obnoxious, the property brothers. But then that's the thing, they're so obnoxious, and that's why I was staring at these pictures, because the third brother got married on Halloween and had a Halloween-themed, like, costume.

Doom wedding, which that's cool. But what was weirdly upsetting to me, and I don't know why, was that all of his groomsmen were dressed as Mortal Kombat characters, and they brought him down the aisle with his rhinestone suit on a chaise lounge. See, they're just too much. Yeah, they're just extra, dude. They're just too much. And, like, you know, they're all filled actors, too.

Oh, yeah, I bet. They're all failed actors. They just want to be in that spot. Yeah, exactly. They're just like they're actors and not, you know, plenty of people are failed actors. I think I would qualify as well. I'm also a, I'm a failed actor. Jackie, what are you coming out on?

What are you going to be riding on bottom? On wedding day. Oh, what am I going to wear on someday if I ever get married? What are you coming out? Yeah, but also what will you be brought out upon? What are holding and rest I'm going to carry you? You're going to be on a bun. On a bun?

Yeah, I want to be dressed as a hot dog. And then at the end of the ceremony, Jeff is going to squirt jerk off off. I'm sorry. Just squirt all over yet, and then you'll have the breast milk. And you'll squirt that. And then you'll squirt the breast milk.

And everyone will just be, it'll be like that scene in Stand By Me when they're all throwing up at the pie eating contest. I was going to be more like the scene that you were showing Molly earlier with the breast milk. Oh, God, dude. I can't stop thinking about that woman and her sick effing milk. Stop half censoring.

I'm almost going to make it through. We're almost getting near-ish to the end. You effer. Sick effing milk is worse than a curse. You effing apartment 23 person? Well, now a good shift. I will say that Zoe D. Chanel and Jonathan Scott dressed up as Catwoman and Batman at this wedding. And they did look very good, but not.

as good as the cat woman and Batman. I have to bring this up. So we went to Heidi Kloom's Halloween party on Halloween. Sorry, not sorry. Not Molly, though, because Molly has a baby, and you can't bring a baby to a club. I'm actually sorry, but you don't have to be sorry, not sorry. You can be sorry, not sorry, but I'm sorry.

I think the number one thing that I took away from this. Sorry, yes, sorry. Sorry, yes, sorry. Sorry, yes, sorry. Sorry, yes, sorry. but sorry, not sorry for us being friends with Jen, who is the most amazing person in the world, that got us into Heidi Klum's Halloween party.

And there was this catwoman and a Batman. And we were, I was going up to get a drink. And I didn't know if they knew each other in my head that they didn't. And this, like, she looked just like the Michelle Pfeiffer catwoman. Nailing it, crushing it, yeah. She comes up over to Batman, who looked like a very sexy Batman, pulled him over, like, touched his shoulder. He looked down in her, and then they just started making out

with each other on the bar, and I was just like, Hachim, Marchi. I felt like just, the Niagara Falls down my April, not my April, my Janine costume. Ah, yeah. I feel like I've never actually had a sexy enough Halloween costume to, like, have like a, nice, sexy makeout in costume because I'm always something that's like funny but not sexy.

Grotesque or yeah, yeah, or funny, goofy or whatever. Yeah, not sexy. Yeah, I never really had that either, you know what I mean? What are you talking about? What's wrong with everybody right now? You look very good in your Ghostbusters costume because we got one is the Ghostbusters. I look good in Ghostbusters costume. A sexy ghostbuster?

You don't feel sexy at that party. You only feel sexless, fully. sexless. Well, last year I was Mr. Rogers, and I was like, I've made a terrible choice. Everybody is just so fantastic. Fresh. Oh my God, there was like a Betty Boop that I just, I would have, you know, before my married days, I would have found an interest. No, actually Holden was very good with his back to the wall, looking above the crowd, not looking at any person, people staring. I really just, I was hot, to the gills on edibles, just staring at all of the, and just trying to, like, figure out if anyone was anyone I knew.

That was, I didn't realize who anyone was last year until the next day. And then I was like, I literally said to Lupita, it's D from Clueless to her. And then the next day, I was like, oh, it's Dion. That was, I spoke to Lupita in her outfit, identified her outfit, and then moved on. But you're smart, though, right? And I was just like, it's Dian. I'm not thinking about who it is. Right.

I think she smiled. I mean, who can know? But I do tell myself that I interacted with Lupita. I definitely saw Neil Patrick Harris and his husband, David Berka, dresses the Olson twins, and they looked fabulous. They're both so tall. They were the who from Princess Bride, Dread Pirate Roberts. Yeah.

I love them. They're so cute. They are. And we definitely saw Antity dress, which actually, and his boyfriend, which is not JVN, so now we all know. You saw Anthony? Yeah. I've seen him twice this month now.

What? Because I saw him at S&L. He's the most beautiful. I'm sorry, he's the stupid thing. I went to S&L and JVN and Anthony sat two rows in front of us. What? I did see that you went to S&L and all these other models. It was crazy.

Holy. I saw that you went on Instagram, but I didn't know that you were right next to Anthony. Yeah. And Anthony and JVN held hands before the show started. Oh, that's sweet. So I was like, ooh, not sorry? Sorry. If you ever need to mail a package,

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and ready to pull me up, scorn. Unlike most brands, Untucket shirts are actually designed to be worn untucked. Got that he has a great forest green Henley from Untucket, and I swear, oh, Marlon, I could get girl who loved Tom Gordon up in that forest. Wearing it untucked makes him look presentable and not like a slub zilla, which you never find with other button downs. Not only if I watched him struggle to find the proper, comfortable yet professional shirt, I also have been craving a t-shirt dress that doesn't have my butts a flapping and my thighs paraded around for a flubber show.

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So whether you're shopping for the perfect holiday gift or just trying to craft a smart, relaxed style of your own, Untucket is the way to go. Visit Untucket.com and use code page 7 for 20% off at checkout. That's U-N-T-U-C-K-I-T-I-T-I-T-C-I-T-com. and promo code page 7 for 20% off. But they are not together, and Antony was dressed, which is really great. They were dressed as zombie blockbuster employees,

and they looked amazing, which, like, covered in VHSs. And we do have to bring up the fact that most people were not allowed to sit down because Mariah Carey said that she was coming and that her people were coming, and she reserved every single table in the entire place. so that no one could sit down. So how did we get a table then? Because Jen's the coolest person in the entire world. Yeah, because she just hooked it up.

Yeah, we got a secret table. And it was pretty amazing. She didn't get there, by the way, until after midnight. To like. Mariah? Yeah. And was there to like, she was there for like an hour and a half, I think. Something like that.

I mean, is Mariah really going to be on time to a party? Right. Ever. No, she certainly isn't. But she is definitely, man, laying it on thick. with this because we were talking about, so Michael Romance is coming back for a few days, but also they're doing a tiny tour,

tiny Christmas music tour for Mariah Carey because she's releasing another Christmas album this year. What? And also re-released the All I Want for Christmas is You music video with, because it's the 25th anniversary, which also, feel an old yet. It is the 25th anniversary

of All I Want for Christmas is You. So they re-released the music video of just a bunch of footage of her being sexy at Christmas time in the 90s. I mean... Sorry not sorry, I'm here for it. Sorry not sorry, but I'm not here for it because there's at one point when she's being all sexy

with a bunch of little kids dancing around her in a circle, and that was sorry. Like, please. That was a sorry, yes, sorry. Yeah, that was gross. Holden, I can't wait. We're going to... I think we should...

I need you to watch it for next week. The video that you put out last year of her singing, all I want for Christmas is you, and forcing her children to be the back. up singers for her. Oh my God, it's so sad. She won't let them sing them. And by the way, I hate to be an old man about this. So you sent us that Facebook video she showed of her and her Halloween costume and then waking up in all her Christmas stuff on November 1st. And I hate to be all crotchety, but like, it's starting

on November 1st now is when Christmas starts. See, this is why I sang the Thanksgiving song at the beginning of this, because as much as, you know what, I dig the holidays. seasons and I'm never going to shit on someone for starting their Christmas as early. But I don't know when this became sacred. Also, the Hallmark Channel is only showing Christmas movies already. Like they start in October. It's crazy. And holiday baking championship is well underway.

Although Thanksgiving, the championship is also underway. What about Thanksgiving? People forget about Thanksgiving. And I'm just, you know what? If I'm in the hot dog ambassador of 2019, I think I need to start. I think next year it's Thanksgiving. ambassador 2020. I'm going to eat turkey every single day in 2020. But I feel like you're not the hot dog ambassador because they stop doing it. Yeah, but I am the self-imposed Southwestern hot dog ambassador

of 2019. So maybe I'm the self-imposed Thanksgiving ambassador of 2019, 2020. You are not going to serve hot dogs at Thanksgiving, though, are you? Yeah. No, no, no, no, no. No, there's no, yeah, there's no crying at baseball and there's no hot dogs on Thanksgiving. We have to serve. We have to serve. to get to the list. Zelda, I know she's ready. She's ready for the list. Yeah. Oh, Zelda was the first list song. Who's on the list? Jackie. Got to have that list.

Well, we were just talking about Christmas Thanksgiving, but I did want to talk about this list because I thought it was kind of cool. 12 spooky Halloween superstitions. This is an international list because we are not just, we don't just think about ourselves. They're international. Or also, did I was just reading it and I thought it was kind of of fun, so I wanted to share. In Wales.

This better be really fun. It's fun. Ha ha ha ha ha. Start laughing now. No. A disembodied spirit was thought to be sitting on every crossroad and style on all hollows eve because styles are small structures that allow humans but not animals to pass over fences.

Ooh, spooky. Not fun. The baby is crying. I gotta leave you to do the list. I'm going to be right back. I don't leave me withholding. You made the child upset because your list isn't as fun as you said it would be. Is it because in the British Isles it was said to be evil to eat blackberries after Halloween?

Because on that night, the spirit called Puyukha, which is Irish for ghost, comes out and defiles them, which in my mind makes me again think about the woman at the concert with the breast milk. Right. And I was thinking some sort of sexual assault is usually a defilement. Oh, yeah, that is a defilement. Are you just saying these things now? because the baby's not in the room anymore? I'm still going no curses until we get to the end of the show. You're going no curses.

No curses until the end of the show. And then I'll say one big curse right at the end. Okay. Don't say, I don't know what big curse means, but I don't like that. It's going to get us console. I think that it's going to be really cute because we didn't get to this story, but Robin Williams's daughter, who is also named Zelda, dressed as Link for Halloween.

and I thought that that was really cute because she said like, oh, like, oh, what am I? Get it? I get it. I think, yeah, I like that she did that. I'm a nerd girl, and children born on Halloween were said to have the power to see spirits and converse with fairies.

Jackie, when we first started this list, you said, and I quote, this is going to be very fun. And Jackie, we are now four. entrance deep and I have not had any you know this is the kind of like how my mom will describe a hat as fun you know what I mean she I don't think she knows what fun is I can't imagine your mother in a fun hat she she should buy her a fun hat for Christmas this is actually a running joke with Lexi and I we always talk about it like because if one of us describes

something as fun that in fact is not fun we we laugh about it because my mom does that all the time like she'll call like a fence fun you know what I mean Or like, you know what I mean? She's just like, oh, yeah, we went to, we bought some fun pumpkins the other, you know what I mean? Like, it's just nothing that's actually maybe fun. That's not actually fun. Yeah, like going to a concert is fun or like having a picnic might be fun, right? Sometimes post-its can be fun, right?

I've had a couple of fun post-its before. Look at these fun lanterns. Aren't they fun? You're like, no, a lantern isn't inherently fun. Well, it could be spooky. Like, it could be, like, it could be lots of other. thing. It's just an inanimate thing. It doesn't really cause

like it's not a game to play with or anything like that. Yeah, but isn't this one though? Norman Seaman Seaman, who ventured out to see on Halloween, were said to have the double sight. That is, each one beheld a living likeness of himself

seated in close contact, and if he was engaged in any work, the phantom was doing the same. Okay, so would you All right. Legitimately asking, Jackie, do you think that was fun? Do you think that was fun? I'm having a blast.

I'm back and I got to say that being in a different room and just listening to the olden side of recording this podcast, highly recommend that is a delight. Does he sound like an abusive father? He's just like, fun lanterns. But in like a silent, like I just hear his voice. But do you have that too? Yeah, you heard about it. I heard.

Yeah, no, it is a, I don't think my mom does that, but it's a mom thing. It's such a mom thing, right? For sure. I plan to do it. Yeah, yeah. Oh, a fun hoodie. Right. You know, that porch is fun.

Oh, I'm going to get a fun haircut. You know what? A fun haircut, too, is like, I can see that because you could color it all crazy. A haircut can be fun. Can be kind of. No, well. It can be fun. It can be fun.

Those shoes are fun And they're not even crazy shoes They're just shoes I think you gotta take it up with Ben Kistel Doesn't he used to do this all the time? Yeah, yeah It's kind of fun He does that

That's him, that's his schick That's his brand Yeah bra But I'm done I'm done with my I'm done with my fun Entries I'm done with my fun okay

Oh my God I think I'm done seeing Oh no Everything's getting so dark Why God Would you curse me With this lot of sight this very moment recording a podcast with my quote unquote friends I think I'm going

blind items oh we can't see him I remember I think you guys have been working on that too oh yeah and by the way listeners at home I was not cursed by God I have my sight that was a play act oh good thank you Zelda do not fear I can tell Zelda is frightened about my Loss of sight. No, no, she's not. Okay, are you ready to... Are you ready for it? Yeah, that's not one of the ready songs.

There's so many ready songs. That's not one of them. Are you ready for it? Oh, she is ready. This A-list rapper didn't make the family Halloween portrait. So a stand-in was used. Kanye. Absolutely.

But I had to do it because you have to look up... You can't even see his face. Yeah, yeah. Have you seen it? Yeah. The pictures are amazing. He is in every costume that is not, obviously not him. Yes, he's not wearing.

It's a full body and mask. He's Dino. He's like a big wasp man. But also, can we ask, can I just ask real fast? What the fuck were they doing this year? Yeah. Why did they have so many? Why was one of them, all of the different, I guess, I want to say,

pupa stations of a, of a, Yeah, yeah, they were worms. I love the Dino. And then the big, where was, there was another one where they were all the characters from Singh. I don't know if that was this year or not, but again, he was in this, like, he was the big gorilla,

therefore fully costumed. And therefore, definitely not Kanye West. Obviously not there. Yeah, I mean, I guess if I was super, super rich, I would definitely spend millions of dollars on good matching family Halloween costumes on the one hand. On the other hand, I was totally unimpressed. Right.

But also, why so many in one year? I just showing Molly that. Oh, my God, it's so funny. Here are three children to stand next to a man who's not their father. The man who's not their father. But also, on top of this, Chicago had to be edited, had to be photoshopped into one of, like, the Flintstone's picture, because she was scared of the Dino,

and they did a very bad photo. Photoshop job, but on top of it, so you got to Photoshop your kid into it. Your husband is not there to be in it. What's the, like, why are you doing this then? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you know. To sell like stuff.

I guess. I feel my kids won't, I like don't have pictures of them together because they both move, like they're too young to be still for a photograph. And so now when I see like famous young kids pose for photos, I'm like, what, you know, how much did you have to yell at that kid to get them to be still, you know? Conditioning. You know what you do? You just tie a bunch of popsicles to their arms and their legs. Hmm. Interesting. That's, yeah, popsicles. Did I say popsicle sticks?

You said popsicles. Fun popsicle sticks. Yeah, but then they get the popsicles at first. And they tie a bunch of popsicle sticks to them, then they can't move. Uh-huh. That's not child abuse. The West children all do have like a kind of soulful look in their eye. Like they all look like, a little bit wise beyond their years. So maybe they're just ready to pose, you know. I think they also just had to grow up a lot faster, unfortunately.

Yeah. I see that. That's fun. Give us more blind items. The illiterate talk show host is not someone this foreign-born A-list rapper should be feuding with. The talk show host knows career-ending dirt and is never afraid to toss a bomb or two out to social media.

Wendy Williams? Yes. Yeah, she's like the only real bitchy talk show. And who's the rapper, rapist? It is a female woman. Ooh, is it Nikki Minaj? Yes. Wow, good job.

And why do they have beats? Oh, I've got this skinny for you, Molly. You asked the perfect question, Molly. So on a recent episode, Wendy Williams started talking some mad ass about Nikki Minaj and her wedding to her new husband, Kenneth Zhu Petty. bringing up, she brought up his dark criminal past. And because he is a registered, yeah, he, yeah, Corrini. He is a registered sex offender in the state of New York, and he served time for manslaughter.

So William stated, okay, so he's a killer and a sex offender. Well, Nikki, congratulations. Whoa. And so Minaj claps back on her Queen City radio show saying, there are people who report the news and there are people who do it with an evil intent in their heart, viciousness. and I pray for you because I know you're hurting and I know you must be sick and humiliated. She also said, when a woman isn't really being loved at home, the viciousness is a different type.

So I really wanted to pray for you today because look at where you are now in your life. Look at what age you are. You're sat up there being vicious all the time and paid for that man's mistress for all these years. You paid for her shopping sprees. You paid for her hotels. You probably even paid for her gine,

G-Y-N bills G-Y-N bills Her gine bills You paid to have that baby delivered Yeah Also also She said this I know we're human first

We're human before we're celebrities We're human before we're personas And I know you must have gone through a lot But you are demonic And that's And that's why this stuff unfolded. If I were you I would go and pray

Ask for forgiveness You can report the news People do it all the time report the news without the level of viciousness and trying to play dumb and doing all this nonsense. Damn. Man, this is tough because on the one hand, I feel like Nikki is totally like reading her to filth,

but also I'm like, it's Wendy Williams. It's not that serious. She's a mother-effing monster. A demon. She has been being real bad lately, though. Really? Wendy has? Yeah, she's been being, like,

I know that she's usually mean, but she's just been, like, I mean, the whole thing with, like, Megan Markle, which, again, I'm not going to, like, get into like the like you you kind of knew what you signed up for but I think it's a lot harder than she thought and so she had like said this whole thing I'm like no one asked how I am like how I'm dealing with all this and being a new mother and all this stuff and she's just like essentially like like Megan Markle shut the fuck up like just

curse being like just brutally mean yeah are you would you say you're a windassorce wrecks which is the name of her fans I was but now but I also again even like what she was saying, like what Nikki was saying, she also was going through a fucking lot right now. Of course. So you don't want to immediately just be like, you're terrible, you're the worst. But, and I know that's how she makes her money, but there's also just other, I mean, I just, I am very happy that I don't have a platform built on negativity. Right. Because it has to seep into your life.

It's got to be difficult to constantly, yeah, just be sing on people. Yeah, I guess I just think of Wendy Williams is like a. I mean, if she's coming at you, it doesn't, I guess she's coming at you. But it just seems like she's, isn't she kind of like a, like a joke? Like a, is she really like a formidable voice? Like there's what Winnie Williams think mattered, you know? I think really what it is that it's her fan base that is the Rwindosaurus's Rex's. Right.

And I think that they are, I think that it seems. They got all the arms. They got all the arms. And I'm one of them. I understand. But I think that there are a lot of. trolls within that. I see. That also take to the internet and just spread more hate. And I don't, yeah, I mean, the fact is anybody being awful online totally sucks.

And so if Wendy Williams is doing, is being an awful troll, then that is something. To millions of people every day. Yeah, no, that's totally fair. I guess that's, I guess, I like Beyonce. Whoa. I like her. Nikki just seems like so much, it seems like they're not even comparable, like Nikki Menage and Wendy Williams.

Like, Wendy, you know, she's not. But at the same time, once she turns her fans against somebody, it's like, there's just no need. I see there's no need for it. But, you know, different strokes. And she is unhappy in her life, and so she makes other people unhappy. And that, I'm sad for her, is what I am. Well, that's what Minage Manage said. Yes, that's what I'm saying.

Sanfa. Hashtag Sanfah, 2019. Well, like, Minaja, blah. How dare you? You're making Zelda cry. You're not making these old to cry right now. You are doing this. Stop turkeying.

Well, on that note, are you done with your blind items? I think I'm done with a! He's done, he's done. He's done. And that means that we are done with this show this week. Molly, welcome back. Thank you for having both of us,

and I am so happy to be back. I'm so happy that you are back. And again, we've got some live shows coming up, guys. We have got a show in an L.A. on December 11th, the Regent Theater. We've got three shows in January in Chicago, in Pontiac, Michigan, and in Milwaukee. We've got the link to tickets in the show info today, but it is Last Podcast Network slash P7 live. Get your tickets come right up. My name is Jackie Zabrowski.

You can find me on Instagram at J. Jack that worm. And don't worry, my breasts are on it as well. My name is Molly Nethel and I'm MJK. L.K. L.C. My name is Holden McNeely and you can find me on Twitch. Twitch, Twitch, iTunes, Alden is also. You are Waluigi. Also, you are little squirrels out there.

That could be a name for our fans, our tiny squirrels. Sure. If you want to squirrel on over to patreon.com forward slash page seven podcast, We have weekly content every single week. That's what weekly content means. $5 a month. That's what a month I make. And we would love to have you join us, our Army of Squirrels.

We're going to be... We've got talking TVs coming at you once a week. We've got your Riverdale roundups that Molly and I are doing once a week. And Pop History. How much content do we do in this effing podcast? We do a lot of content. F in the A! What's your big swear going to be?

Uh-oh, what's my big swear going to be to close out the episode? Bye guys I love you I love you Zelda We'll talk to you guys next week Big ass Wet ass A wet ass

With a wet ass With a being sprayed by The baby The baby's still in there Bye Bye This show is made possible By

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