Page 7 - Episode 329: National Peggy Day
Episode Date: November 15, 2019Jackie, Molly & Holden goss about the Disney + launch, John Legend named sexiest man alive 2019, and they get an exclusive Page 7 blind item. LA, Chicago, Pontiac & Milwaukee, we're comi...ng for ya and we wanna see your finest animal prints. Come see Page 7 and Wizard and the Bruiser LIVE! Go to http://felixgrayglasses.com/page7 to protect your eyes today. Go to http://honeybook.com/page7 for 50% off your first year! Get 20% off by going to http://modsy.com and using the code PAGE. Make your day a little more perfect at http://perfectbar.com/page7. Lobby Time, Too Cool, Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/ Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
On my search to make sure that Thanksgiving is never forgotten.
I've been looking up Thanksgiving songs.
Number one, most Thanksgiving songs are fat shaming to the turkey.
And number two, a lot of them are not very original.
Like, you put your wings in, you put your wings out.
You put your wings in.
And you shake them all about.
All about.
You do the turkey pokey and you turn yourself around.
And that's what it's all about.
Turkey pokey, huh?
You put your drumsticks in.
You put your drumsticks out.
You know what upsets me?
They call their belly the stuffing.
That is a post-mortem turkey's placement.
You don't have stuffing in a live turkey.
Call it their belly.
It's their fucking belly.
Are we dangling a dead bird in the middle of a circle,
or are we talking about a live turkey doing the hokey-pokey?
I think it's a live turkey.
I think it's forcing a little.
live turkey to do it. So we're not just standing in a circle holding like raw meat in our hands
like waving a drumstick around. Although as you're saying it, I can foresee myself making this video
on Thanksgiving Day. Yeah, just use the turkey carcass and put the, you know, you put your whole
carcass in, you put your whole carcass out. And then you shake it about and like the terrifying
jiblets and everything. Chase around your neighbor around the dining room table. I like that.
And that's what Thanksgiving's all about.
It's all about spreading fear and spreading disease with uncooked meat.
Smoke weed in front of your parents.
I don't have anything else.
Just do that.
You just want to do that.
Welcome to page seven guys again.
I am forever fighting.
And I can't wait to start the campaign of big birds are positive.
You know, I get, I know it's scary to have too big of a bird.
I'm not talking about eating big bird on Sesame Street,
but I will say happy 50th anniversary of Sesame Street.
What I'm saying is that the bigger the bird, the better than meat,
the more you feed your family.
So I'm plus size bird positive.
Finally, can we get some turkey models?
Because I want an Insta of all plus size turkeys that we could, you know,
and we can appreciate it and really give those likes out there.
Oh my God.
And imagine just like, oh, just like,
Seriously, I want plus-sized turkeys.
I want the basters just inside of them because they're allowed to show what gives them juicy pleasure.
I'm still going to ask, are we talking about a dead turkey or a live one?
Because things really change.
They're used interchangeably around Thanksgiving, but it's a truly different thing.
I mean, before and after is kind of like, you know, weight loss stuff.
It is kind of weight loss stuff.
But also, I want to make sure we get the turkey's consent.
And so I'm going to need it in writing from the live turkey.
to do it to the dead turkey.
Uh-huh.
One gobble for yes, two gobbles for no.
All right.
I saw, I was watching this video and essentially the song was about all the tokees are good for
because their heads wobble, wobble, and it was right before their head was about to be chopped off,
and they only know one word, gobble, gobble, fuck you.
A lot of the like traditions around the slothold
of the turkeys are actually pretty uncomfortable, you know, like the pardoning, the presidential
pardoning of the turkey I've never loved.
I think it's kind of cute.
I think it's kind of cute.
It's just that it's just kind of a little bit too proximate to all of the people,
human beings who haven't been pardoned, you know, it just makes me uncomfortable.
Like, and then it just like, yeah.
And the turkey's like, gobble, gobble, you're getting impeached.
Which will be a lot of fun.
Sorry, I didn't mean to get political, not political.
Different podcast, hold of them.
different fucking podcast, not on this podcast.
I want to piggyback on what you had to say just before, Jackie.
Macaroni and cheese, make the noodles bigger.
I want noodle the size of the dish.
I wanted to goop it up, man.
I wanted to goop it up, and I'm not talking because for certain,
Gwyneth Beldro doesn't eat macaroni and cheese.
I'm saying Jackie goop it up.
I want it to be able to sop.
I wanted to have crevasses amongst the noodles to sop up the cheese.
So I can pour them out.
I have a Thanksgiving macaroni and cheese like target for this conversation right now.
And also it involves a beautiful man.
So you're welcome.
Okay.
Yes, please.
There is a Food Network star named Eddie Jackson, I believe, is his last name.
He's a former NFL player.
And he is astoundingly beautiful and really fun food guy who makes the rounds on.
all the food shows.
And this past weekend, he went on the kitchen,
which is my favorite absolute hot fire trash show on the Food Network.
And he made a mac and cheese that is built on a layer of stuffing.
So it's in a springboard pan.
And you put it in a layer of stuffing and then put on a layer of mac and cheese
and bake that shit.
And it might be the first time I try something truly revolutionary at my Thanksgiving
because I never make mac and cheese.
I know a lot of people do.
but I'm very, very excited about it
and I was all brought to you by like
the most perfect specimen
on the food network by far.
Oh my God, I have a picture of him
with his shirt on
and he's got this huge
smoker that he's just got
a bunch of meat on and just turned the meat
and he's looking at the meat
the way I imagine he would look at my pussy
as we had sex.
And it's great to because all the women
on the kitchen totally want to fuck him
and so it's like a very,
They're like, you know, he'll say something that's very not sexual.
Like, you know, and then you want to pour the cheese sauce on and they're all like,
oh, you want to, you know, I'll pour your cheese sauce on.
It's like extremely.
Sexual.
Disgustingly sexual.
Talking about a rue and turning it into a sexy thing.
It's just, it's all, the whole thing is, uh, I love it when this guy is on Food Network
and I'm really, really excited about the market cheese stuff.
Reality show pitch.
We just take this concept, but they get eliminated one by one.
And at the end, the guy fucks the, you know, consensually, of course, the winner.
I want in.
I want to, I want to do it.
If they sign a contract and say they want to do it, right?
And at the end, you get to have some sort of, you know what?
It could be kind of whatever you pick.
It could be hands only or whatever.
Whoever, but is the contest, whoever can turn, like, reciting a recipe into the sexiest thing?
Yeah, well, no, I think it's just about who can seduce this guy.
Whilst he cooks.
Yeah.
And we can do opposities, too.
And maybe they just go on a date because,
Obviously you can't pitch like a fuck show.
That doesn't work.
Well, I think they got to cook together.
No, no.
I would just ask for anything done with lips only.
No other touching just lips.
Yes, they can only use their lips in whatever way they want for 15 minutes on each other.
I don't bring up sex too much.
Jackie brings up sex too much.
I am always thinking about sex and sometimes I worry I have an addiction.
But I'm fine.
I'm okay with it.
I'm not David Dicuffney just yet.
Just wait.
Once I have my own Skinnamack show, then we'll have a conversation.
God, I loved the Red Shoe Diaries.
But Eddie Jackson is a very, very attractive man.
He is very good recipes.
And I am proud of his recipes.
Okay, you have to recast Red Shoe Diaries.
Who you cast in as the guy?
What, as like the host of Red Shoe Diaries?
Wasn't it Ducovney?
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
I guess, see, now I'm just thinking that I feel like there needs to be a Skinnamack show
that's just Food Network people.
that we're down to do it.
Because honestly, but this is my just be for me.
You know, it's like, I would watch a Guy Fietti hosted light porn.
What is it called?
What's half porn?
I'm executive of that.
Oh, it looks like she'd go up in a reverse cowgirl.
Executive of an NBC hard pass on that concept.
It would be so supportive.
Narrate porn, absolutely.
Absolutely.
Drive in sex.
Yeah, we'll call it triple sex.
sloppy stud
sucking
yeah succulent
oh succulent yeah yeah yeah yeah but also
it definitely it's gonna be sloppy
put some donkey sauce on it are you kidding me
I'm gonna be covered in donkey sauce
it's being covered in donkey sauce
what is donkey sauce it's a guy Fiatty
um sorry I just outed myself
as like not a big viewer of guy I like him
how dare you
food network guy
But that's why it's so great.
We bounce each other out, right?
All right, what's the next story?
What's the next new story?
Well, we have to give a mausel to our number one pawpaw on the network.
Marcus Parks and our number one meemaw now.
Carolina Hidalgo for getting married this weekend, mazzle, mazzle, mazzle.
It's beautiful.
Congratulations.
The wedding was lovely.
We all three actually got to be at an event together.
It was amazing.
We actually all got to be in person dancing on a dance floor together.
And, like.
And Gideon, so.
cute the way he dances with Zelda on the dance floor.
That was so precious.
Well, Gideon is usually, he's usually like, I don't really like to dance.
But it turns out all you got to do is strap a baby to him.
And he's like, I have to dance with my daughter at a wedding.
He looked like a natural.
He had total moves.
He was like rocketed.
He kept using, so Zelda was strapped to his stomach, and he kept using the baby as an air guitar,
which was the cutest thing I've ever seen.
We were trying to leave and then take on me came on.
And so we had to go back.
He was like, I can't leave yet, which is very much a me move.
I was like, we need to get home.
And he was like, we can't leave during take on me.
And we, like, fully put our stuff down and went back out on the dance floor.
That's amazing.
So adorable, though.
Oh, my God.
Well, also, just so you guys all know, Zelda did have on those, the noise canceling ears.
And the entire time, through all of the dancing of us screaming on the dance floor, that child was passed out.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
She's a champ.
And, you know, when I, like, didn't have kids and I would be at a wedding and I would see, like, little kids on the dance floor dancing and stuff, I would be like, oh, that's so fun.
I can't wait until I have, like, little kids at a wedding.
And now I understand that having kids means that I, like, you know, look forward to perhaps someday going to a wedding without children again.
But once my kids are old enough to, like, actually dance on the dance floor, I think it'll be very fun.
Yeah, or run around on that.
in circles on the dance floor is really more what it's like.
Yeah, but that's going to be cute as hell.
Yeah, they love it because they get all jacked up on the cake, right?
They get all sugared out and then they just sprint in circles.
I see it every wedding until they're just so done.
And then it's great, too.
And then they're great, too.
Yeah, it's like taking a dog to the dog park, then they're out for the rest of the night.
Are you talking about taking me to Central Park?
Because I didn't need to fall asleep on that bench.
I'm excited because in February we're taking both kids to a wedding.
And so my older kid has a, but we have a lot.
of hand-me-downs from our cousins and I like to wear vests and and I have a hand-me-down little
suit from her boy cousins that I'm not going to use the whole suit but I think I might have a like
a mommy and me formal vest on what is it about the vest what is it about the vest that is so
particularly appealing clothing-wise I don't know but isn't it it's like everybody looks good
like in the videos of everybody dance on the dance floor when all the men usually who are wearing suits
they take off their suit jackets and they just got vests on,
I think everybody looks fantastic.
Molly, you looked so fucking good.
Yeah, you look great.
Thank you.
I mean, it looks so, anyone wearing just like with the vest,
with the long sleeve shirt underneath,
as if, like, had just taken off the jacket
because they're so hot from dancing and merriment,
I want to have sex with any single person that is dressed like that.
There's something so symbolically fun about like,
oh, it's not business time anymore.
It's relaxing time when you take off the coat
and you just have the vest, you know?
Holden you also looked very good.
Who is that?
Thank you.
Thank you.
Is that Zelda?
Oh, my God, Zelda.
You also looked very sharp.
Zelda's first words were,
Holden, you looked great.
You're loving.
I did.
You feel like I did.
Thank you.
I actually didn't.
I had to put the jacket back on
because I just tried to drink wine
at one point.
I wasn't even drunk
and sort of did that move that a child.
does where he forgets for a second
to pour wine in his, a drink
in his mouth and just it went all over
the front of his chest. Is that why you put the jacket back
on? See that makes a lot more sense.
That must have been rough too because I know you're a bit of a sweater.
Oh my God. I'm so,
I see everyone's like, Jackie's like,
hey, cold enough, yeah, whatever when we first
started our Skype session here. But honestly,
it's not cold enough for me. I love it.
Lexi was so cold today.
You're just like my husband. Lexi was so cold in the apartment
today that she, and the living room was way warmer,
that she went into the living room to sleep.
I was sleeping in just boxers.
That is to tell you the temperature difference.
Do you also celebrate the earlier darkness?
Because Gideon's like, oh, yeah, it's dark at 4.30.
And I'm like, what's wrong with you?
That makes him a complete psycho.
Yeah, yeah.
That's just, I mean, I know, I'm like, oh, got to get the vitamin D pills out.
Yeah, I want to get one of those sad lamps because I'm getting too sad.
We should get a sad lamps.
You should get sad lamps in the studio.
You should have them filled with sad lamps, especially when Mark is gone for the week.
Let's write off some sad lamps to surround ourselves with blasting lights while we record,
and then I'll at least be happy one day a week.
You know, we're going to get to the Oprah gift list thing.
Here's another, okay, second pitch of the show.
Okay, page seven, page seven holiday gift list.
Ooh, I like this.
Already I got sad lamps.
I put a weighted blanket on that piece.
You know what I'm saying?
What else do we put on there?
Oh, yeah, I love a weighted, like I'm going to put Christmas shoes on there,
but it's just going to be me that every time you walk and it goes,
Ouch!
Ouch!
Because I want you to think about all the people that don't have shoes,
but also thinking about me saying,
Ouch, every time you walk just to annoy you every time you walk somewhere.
But then that will also encourage you to not walk anywhere,
save those steps for the spring.
And any listeners out there, if you have any Christmas list,
page 7-centric Christmas list suggestions,
please send us up on Twitter.
I want to see them because I think we should compile this.
And you know, years ago,
So Jackie told me something I've never forgotten,
which is that, and I've never actually adopted it either.
But it was a moment where I was like,
I want to be just like Jackie.
She said, and,
fuck everything.
That's not what I do anymore.
It was during the Daddy's Deli theme song.
No.
It was,
although I didn't want to be just like you then too.
No, she said,
she said, I keep a little list throughout the year,
the whole 12 months of the year.
And when somebody says, like,
they want something, she writes it down so that by the end of the year, she has a perfect
holiday gift list for everybody.
That's so smart.
I've just never forgotten how smart that is.
But you've never done it either.
Absolutely not.
No, come November, I'm like, fuck, fuck, why did I do it?
It's so great because if someone says that they really want something in April and you start
writing something down because I just keep it as a note on my phone and I write their name
next to it.
And when they see you writing something down, they don't assume that you're writing
down a Christmas idea. Now, if you're thinking
it or just a holiday idea, because now
if you start doing it, then it's like, oh, well,
you're probably doing it for
the holidays because you need ideas.
Because I, there's nothing, I,
if someone point blank asked me what I want for
Christmas, I don't know.
Nothing. Exactly.
Yeah, and everyone says nothing and it's so, oh my God,
my mom is so hard to shop for. Right, but
then in March, I'm like, I wish I had
a, you know, an organizer
for my kitchen. Right.
Some small thing. I guess now,
I mean, the other thing now, I mean, Lexi and I just keep Amazon wish lists.
Yeah.
And it's like something you start doing early so that you don't do like right at Christmas so you forget what's on it.
Yeah.
And then you can be surprised with something.
The only problem is if you're the person making the list, you have to keep that up to date because sometimes you'll get something you like don't even give a shit about anymore.
My problem is that now since I'm like up very often throughout the night nursing a baby, I just buy shit in the middle of the night.
I become one of those people that's like, don't let me on the internet late at night.
than just like impulse buy.
But not because you're drunk at all
just because you're walking around with the baby.
Most of what I buy is related to
baby sleep, but I am
somebody who is now compulsively buying things
every now on the internet. I don't want to get this baby to sleep.
Baby weighted blankets.
There is a baby weighted blanket and I have it.
Oh really?
A little swaddle with a little tiny little weighted beanbag
on it and sometimes it works.
I think that might be like the
I'm going to go for it because they're expensive
for adult size.
and I think I, but like I think I'm going to throw down and get it
because I've just heard it like changes your life.
Yeah, it's one of those things where people are like,
there is my life before the weighted blanket and after the weighted blanket.
I can't even imagine.
I don't want it.
It's too hot.
It puts you in the, no, no, no, that's the thing.
That's why it's so expensive.
It's weighted, but it's not hot.
Yeah, it sounds like, it sounds like me after a couple of drinks.
But is it going to feel like the sheets are tucked in too tight?
You know, because, like, when the sheets are tucked in so tight at a hotel and you feel crushed.
I hate it.
Isn't it the way to Blake it going to make me feel like I'm crushed and claustrophobic?
No, I think it does the opposite.
It makes you feel like it's a womb thing.
I think it makes you feel like that straight up that baby.
You know what I mean?
I don't want to be that baby, son.
Stop looking at Zelda like that.
Stop looking at Zelda like that.
You can't be the baby.
Most of our wishes in life, I think, come back down to wanting to crawl back inside the womb.
I want to be the baby.
I don't want to be inside my mother's womb.
I'm good.
I'll pick a, yeah, maybe a different one.
Maybe someone, whose womb would you want to be in?
That's, what celebrity womb?
What celebrity womb?
What celebrity womb?
What do you crawl back into?
Slab wombs, everybody's talking about them.
I don't know.
I don't know.
Maybe, maybe Amy Adams.
Who is like a...
Actually, I shouldn't pick someone I would have sex with.
I'm going to say like a mother, like a, like Lily Tomlin or something.
Yeah, it was just like, you know.
Kathy Bates.
I don't want to live inside of Caddy Bates.
Or that, oh, what's her name?
She plays a mom and everything.
She was in Joan of Arcadia.
She was in that movie book club.
Whoa, what a breath.
I can't believe you just quoted.
I haven't thought about Joan of Arcadia in a minute.
Oh, yeah, a little bit embarrassed that I even know about Joan of Arcadia, to be honest.
Mary Feenebergin.
Yes, I would crawl into her world.
Oh, that's a good one, too.
You're right.
I agree.
Oh, well, I guess if I said Diane Keaton, that would be...
No, that's good.
Why is that bad?
Because I would...
It's another person I'd have sex with.
Well, yeah, of course.
Even still.
I literally can't think of a single one person.
I'm fucked up.
I need therapy, dog.
That just means you know, no bounds, you know?
And I'm proud of you, you know?
You know, who's womb I think I would also crawl inside of?
If they had a womb would be John Legend.
We have to throw out our mazzles because John Legend,
one People Magazine's sexiest man alive.
And you know what?
I know that it was a controversial stance for me to take back in the day
when Blake Shelton won because I still agree with it.
I'm not scared of saying that.
I'm still, that was a moment why I didn't want to be just like Jackie Zabrowski.
I love Blake Shelton.
I love that he loves booze and I love that he just loves the love.
And that he can't do anything without drinking.
And that is something that I used to identify with Blake Shelton about,
but I don't identify anymore,
but I can still find him just as
seedily, dirtily attractive.
But John Legend won people magazine,
I got to say, as someone that follows his
social media, of course, Chrissy Teigen's
social media, he just
seems like a good guy.
He does. I like
John Legend. I think he's a little
in terms of being
the sexiest, I think he's just like
he doesn't really like light it on
fire for me, you know, but
he is very nice.
sweet and I would love to be like a good friend of his.
I would say I usually feel the same way, but there was a video that Chrissy Teigen posted
a couple of weeks ago.
They were at Halloween Horror Nights and John Legend was drunk.
And he got up on, they have this like stage where people perform old classic rock songs
and he got up on the stage and started singing his own music on the stage at Halloween
Horror Nights and then a bunch of people came around and started sing with him.
And I was like, I'd fuck that version of John Legend.
Yeah, that's amazing.
doing this like like because his music is very it's beautiful and sexy in a way that I never
look at myself as like I am not smooth by any account you know what I mean and so I never
listen to a John Legend to be like oh yeah you want to slide into me because I say things like
do you want to slide into right yeah and it makes me want to throw up I have always yeah I've
always had zero interest in John Legend in terms of his music.
But yeah, you bring up a good point in the sense like, man, I loved if he was like my
dad or like my dad's friend neighbor.
Yeah, dad's friend for sure.
Yeah, dad's next door neighbor buddy that just hangs, like we'd be just kicking it,
giving me advice, you know, you don't have to play football.
You can play, you know, the theater.
Uh-huh.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
He would be very reassuring.
Yeah.
He would like push me to achieve my dreams, you know what I mean?
And he and Chrissy Tegan have that fun, like, she's sassy and he's a little boring, you know, like going on together.
And they pull it off great.
They do.
They do.
And it makes me like him more.
She's very interesting makes me think that he must be really interesting.
Yeah, she really balances out the situation because if not, I'd be like, what's that cardboard box?
Oh my God, it's John Lange.
How dare you?
No, he's a little Starbucks.
And it's going to be the second week in a row that I mentioned Jesus Christ Superstar Live.
Right.
The EGOT.
Yeah, but he killed it.
But he won an Emmy for it.
So he won an Emmy for being the executive producer
of Jesus Christ Superstar Live.
And he also played Jesus.
He did an amazing job.
And someone that grew up listening to Jesus Christ Superstar
because my mom was obsessed with it.
I remember even my mom called him.
She's like, oh, my God, did you see Joy and Legend
as Jesus Christ?
Oh, what a performer.
She just kept saying, what a performer.
He is.
He is a great performer.
He is a great performer.
And I do love there.
Of course, everyone loves their love because Chrissy Teagan's first response to when it finally came out that he won was, dude, I get to bone people's sexiest man alive, which that's great.
Yeah.
Yeah.
She's fun.
She's, like, not the most fun person on earth the way that I think she sometimes, I think sometimes, like, we've talked about with, like, Jennifer Lawrence and, like, sometimes when a woman is just, like, a little bit out of the ordinary, everyone's like, look at this crazy woman.
She's fun.
She's so fun.
She has breasts.
And she makes me smile.
Yes, exactly.
Right.
Look at this insane woman who dares to speak jokes.
And like, so there's a little bit of that going on with Chrissy Teagan.
But I also think that she is legit, smart and funny and interesting.
Oh, for sure.
And also, I had no idea that John Legend was an Egot.
I didn't know he got the Emmy.
He got the Grammy for his song Shine in, he got a song for the R&B song Shine.
He got a Grammy for the 2016 song Glory for that's from Selma, which is nuts.
He got another.
You got Best Male R&B vocal performance for ordinary people.
Glory is a good song.
I'll give him that.
Glory is a great song.
In fact, you also won an Oscar because of it.
Because of Glory from Selma.
And he won the Tony for his, you got the Tony for Best Revival of a Play with his production
of Jitney, which I don't nothing about.
Now I feel bad that we're over here like, I guess he's fine.
and he's an egot.
We're like, look at this fucking egot,
plain, plain old egot.
That's the thing.
I mean, it's so ridiculous for me.
This is just how ridiculous the world is
when you talk about celebrities.
You know what I mean?
It's like, that guy achieved more
than I'll ever achieve in three lifetimes.
We're like, he kind of sucks.
He has done something that a very,
very select list of people have achieved.
I'm sorry, everybody.
I'm a, you know what?
I'm my asshole.
No, this is what part of being so engross in celebrity gossip does to you
is that it makes you forget what you do in your everyday life
where, you know, yeah, I'm a piece of garbage.
But standing off to the side, it's why we watch 90-day fiancé
is because then we have other people to compare ourselves to.
It goes from John Legend to up here to 90-day fiancé down below us,
even though they're not below us because they're doing great.
A lot of them are.
He won an egot and Sexiest Man Alive, and I'm going to go home tonight and play a video game for probably six to eight hours straight.
I'm proud of you.
So I just sort of lay that out there in terms of who the cardboard box really is.
He also seems like a very nice dad.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, my God.
Again, I literally said earlier I would like for him to be my father.
I love my dad.
But like if it was my two dads maybe situation or something like that, too.
with my dad, I would fucking love that.
Yeah, he would be a great, like, dad's partner
later in life, you know.
I think I'd watch that tape.
Am I allowed to say that?
Wow.
Yeah, no.
Not in a million years.
I think I would watch on tape.
Is that possible?
Allow, possibly allow.
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I think my mom would be 100% down with the whole situation.
You know, assuming he pulled like a Jackie relationship situation and like, you know, it's like, oh, surprise, we had two kids, but I'm gay.
You know what I mean?
I think she would at least accept this new relationship wholeheartedly.
Yeah, you could all, it could be a little bit like Grace and Frankie where, you know, maybe she then partners with some great, you know, whoever you would want to be your.
Chrissy Teigen.
Chrissy Teigen.
Yeah, that'd be great.
Oh, my God.
Because my mom also needs that counterpart.
That's why I love her friend Peggy does this for her.
really kind of gets her to loosen up and just have fun.
Everyone needs a Peggy, right?
That friend that you go get lunches with and are like,
tell me how you really fucking feel.
You know what I mean?
Gap, gap, gap, gap, gap.
Then you get Bad Girls Club.
This is why it meets the same with that show Bad Girls Clubs.
Like, aren't we all a little bad girls club?
Or we have the friend that makes us a little bad girls club.
I'm a lot of Bad Girls Club, I feel like.
We all need that.
Your mother likened me to that friend of hers,
but we weren't out like getting juiced.
Oh, you're totally my.
Peggy.
You're, I'm your baggy.
Your mother said I'm her Peggy as well.
You're very, you might be a lot of people's Peggy, Jackie.
Yeah, you're a lot of people's Peggy too.
I might have a couple Peggy's, but you're definitely one of them.
Oh, the baby in the trash.
We're drinking Margs tonight.
No, I will say that Molly did look at me over the weekend and was like, do you want to do
shots?
And I was like, yeah.
I mean, you were my Peggy this weekend, Molly.
Yeah, you were my Peggy too.
I got, I was supposed to take a cab back to the.
the hood with Jaggie, she's staying in my same neighborhood.
I just drunkenly ditched her and took a separate Uber home because she got me, those
shots fucking wrecked me.
You know, my inner Peggy has been dormant for about a year and a half, two years, two and a half years.
And so when you add in all the time of doing the IVF and all that, so, you know, Peggy,
I got to keep that Peggy alive here and there.
And all the Peggy's in the world right now, if you're listening to this show, we salute you.
And there should be a national Peggy day.
You know what?
I'll salute you right now because.
I've got wine in my red solo cup
and it is not noon yet.
That's why you're Peggy.
Yeah, you're so Peggy.
It's just a little wine.
It's mostly sprits.
That's such a Peggy thing to say.
That is such a peggy thing to say.
It's not noon yet, but it's mostly sprits.
Yeah, yeah.
It was Peggy and it was also Barbara.
And again, they're interchangeable,
but Barbara, everyone needs a Barbara as well.
For sure.
But yeah, they just getting lit up like a, just getting your uptight mother lit up like a Christmas tree.
And the middle of it, random Wednesday.
You know what I mean?
Why not?
Life's too short.
But you know what's the opposite of being a peggy is John Legend and Kelly Clarkson's new woke version of baby?
It's cold outside.
Now, we're not going to get into the whole thing.
We're not.
Yeah.
But I do have to say, I love John Legend and.
Kelly Clarkson singing together.
I don't think that the original is that
bad because people have
explained the lingo from back
in the day, which I can post, but I
won't get into it right now.
Don't get into it, but get into it.
I feel like the, it's
the gist of it, without
getting into it, but dipping our toes
is that, I'll toe dip, I'll toe.
Let's toe dip, because it's interesting,
because I totally agree with this argument
that the original is not quite
as, like, creepy as
kind of consensus has come to think
in the last few years because the problem is
that back in the day, men
and women, and particularly women, weren't
allowed to be a peggy and be
like, yeah, I totally want to stay in bone.
So they had to be so
indirect and coy about it and wasn't
healthy for anybody. And so they're
like, oh, I'm flirting, can we
do that? Maybe, maybe.
That's all the thing.
It's like, it's the line, say,
what's in this drink, which I actually did not know
until Goddadi explained this to me, is that
It was a joke back in the day where it's like, when you say to someone that like kind of flubs up when they say something's like, what are you high?
But it's one of those jokes of like, say, what's in this drink?
That it actually, it's not like there's a roofie in the drink.
Right.
It's supposed to be a jib.
But now they've changed all the lyrics, which the problem is that I really, I very much respect the woman that helped write.
It's one of the writers that's been secure, someone I've worked with in the past, Natasha Rothwell, who is an amazing.
amazing comedian. She wrote, helped write this song for them. And so instead, spin it around a little bit that like as she's saying all of the lines, John Legend's character is essentially like, let me call you an Uber. Why don't I just put you into an Uber? And the end's like, up, your Uber's arrived essentially is what's happening this. But also, if I'm finna fuck and a dude is just like, I'm going to call you an Uber. I'm going to call you an Uber. I'm going to call you an Uber.
That dude doesn't want to fuck me.
And then I'm being the bad, right?
Right, a little bit.
Yeah, it's a little bit of a devastating move to be like,
are you interested in me?
And have a guy be like, I'll call you an Uber.
I'll call you an Uber.
Your Uber's outside.
I just think this.
I think that.
First of all, every sketch comedy group has a parody fucking version of this song now to like,
whatever, to make a comment on this song.
Second of all, I think that there are a million Christmas songs, and there's tons of shit that doesn't hold up in context in any given time period.
I say it just just move.
I feel like this song comes up as problematic now for the past three years.
It really is.
Definitely.
I'm cool to move.
I'm cool to not hearing it for a while.
Well, the thing about the song is that it's a boring Christmas song.
See, I like this song.
But see, I loved it.
S&L did it.
It was, who was it?
S&L.
What I really, I think I just always wanted to be in a classy position of in my brain,
listening to this song when I was like 11 years old, of just wrapped up in a fur.
And with like, with like my glass clinking and a man just so desperately wanting to have sex with me.
Right.
And I wanted to be coy.
And if there's one thing I've never been.
In my life, it is coy.
So it was Sigourney Weaver and Buster Poindexter.
What?
It did a straight up version of it.
It's not even funny or anything.
Like they just do a straight up classic version of the song in SNL.
And I always enjoyed it off of that.
Yeah.
But I'll also burn it to the ground because I don't give a food.
That's the thing.
I think I could go the rest of my Christmas is without hearing it.
And I would never, literally never miss it.
Right.
There are so many good Christmas songs.
Right.
There are so many.
And to be honest, most of the good ones, in my opinion, aren't about boning.
I know that it is a bony holiday sometimes.
But it's not a bony holiday.
It's not really a bony holiday.
It's sometimes a secretly bony holiday, but it's not that, you know, it's just, like Santa
Baby, we've talked about.
Yeah, that song makes me want to throw up on your child, Molly.
Don't.
But anytime anybody does the
I'm gonna talk baby
I like to talk like a baby
You know what I mean
Like that's always great
Especially when you do it
Oh yeah
Oh Jackie baby
That the holy holy come by
Oopsie dopsy
I made an oopsie poopsie in my pants
And it's dribbling
All the way down my little lair
No kink shame
But it's not my kink
It's not for me and that's okay
I feel like in this very specific context
you're allowed to king shame
Just this once, me as a little baby pooping in my pants
I can shame at you specifically right now
Yes
I think you're allowed this one of them
It's a hold in shame
Yeah it's a hold in shame
You're always allowed to hold in shame
I'm holding shaming you and and yuck
And yuck
Well I mean because also you know it's not gonna be
The first time to bring it up this holiday season
and I was just looking at the,
I was going through my Spotify
because they've got a bunch of dumb
Thanksgiving playlist
and I love Thanksgiving playlist
and on almost every single one
Hello by Adele was on
which I don't understand why
and because I love that
I do love that song but it does make me cry
and man right before we started recording
I listened to that
I hate Pentatonics
but they've got the Hallelujah
song and I immediately started to cry
dude I listen to that fucking Pentatonics
Hallelujah song every Christmas and what is wrong with me?
I think I blame you.
Did you get me into pentatonic?
I don't, I wouldn't say I got you into pentatonic because I'm not a huge fan with that
fucking song.
Yes.
They do good.
And it's embarrassing.
It's embarrassing how much I like pentatonics is a version of hallelujah because there are
so many better versions, specifically the original version.
But man, will I listen to pentatonics?
I'll listen to all of their Christmas stuff, but particularly.
Hallelujah and it's particularly embarrassing.
Like something about Petitonics singing like jingle bells,
it's like, well, yeah, that's dumb.
But singing Hallelujah like a truly beautiful song
and being like, I'm so moved by Pentatonics,
it's shameful.
It's like, it's the opposite of the brown note.
It's the opposite of like you got the brown note,
which is a brown note apparently it's a note
that you hit and makes people shit.
But then it's the note on the other side of that
that gives you the tingles.
Right.
I love that feeling when listening to a song.
Yeah.
We were just, what was it?
We were just listening
that Lauren Hill album,
The Miseducation.
That like,
those two songs,
the Zion song and the other one,
those give it to me a little bit, right?
And they're like,
care for me, care for me,
you say you'll be there for me.
Those songs?
I haven't listened to that album in years,
but now I know.
Blas in the past, right?
Also, I really like
Pinetonics' Labor Day album.
Oh, yeah.
Is it all about respecting those
that work hard for us?
We work for us is very cool that they do it.
We watch, this will make some connections to other things I think in the show.
So we watch Sesame Street in the morning with Freddie and, you know,
they have different, like, famous people on to sing fun songs.
And John Legend is one of them and the ones that are, like, available to us on demand.
And one of them is pentatonic.
And they do, I think that they're counting to eight or something, you know.
And so they'll, you know, like,
they will have like a famous singer come in
and then adjust their hits
so that they're singing about the letter of the day
or the number of the day.
And we've been watching this episode for weeks
and getting it was like,
so apparently this is a really famous
agapello group called Pentatonics.
It's everywhere in your life, Molly.
And I just hadn't, I knew they were an Acapella group
and I was like, this sounds like pentatonic,
but I didn't know they were pentatonic,
so I don't know what pentatonic looks like.
They're young and hot.
They are young and hot.
I know it.
They're no rockapella, and I'll say this every year,
they're no fucking rockapella.
They are definitely on Sesame Street doing the number of the day
and it's cute as hell.
God damn it.
But you know what's the,
we're talking opposite of brown notes,
we're talking opposite of cute of hell.
We have to talk about Alex Trebek.
We have to bring up this viral video that went everywhere
because I don't know about you guys,
but I cried maybe three times to it.
I cried so much when I watched.
So Lexi was in bed and I was like,
I know I have to watch this.
This was like two nights ago because it was like all over the internet and I know it's for me.
And it was so hard to see.
It's such a stone cold Alec break in a moment of emotion.
Yeah, because if there's one thing that Alex Trebek is, it's consistently emotionless.
Yes, he is not a robot fully confirmed on Jeopardy in that one exact moment.
It is.
So Alex Trebek, for those of you that do not know, his cancer has come back and he is starting
chemo again. He's in stage four pancreatic cancer. And the show is taped two and a half
months in advance. And Alex Trebek, which I did not know, has not missed a single taping in
35 years. And he said now that he's going back in for chemo again, that he's going to do it
until he really truly cannot anymore. And on this week's episode, I'm assuming the dude
didn't know the answer for the final jeopardy.
Yes, he did not know it.
So he just wrote, we love you Alex instead.
Yeah.
And he, and he, it was so touching because the way that Trebek took it was so, like,
you could just see his heart crumble.
Yeah.
And he almost burst into tears, but then he kept it going because he's a goddamn professional.
Yeah.
Yeah, he like stops for a second.
and his voice kind of catches.
And then he goes right back to just being like Alex Trebek,
who responds to whatever your anecdote is by being like,
terrific.
I hope you had fun, you know.
And then he was like, oh, you didn't get it.
But then he kept going and it was extremely, extremely touching.
And apparently he's also like an extreme perfectionist and part of,
at least the symptoms he is getting from chemotherapy is that he gets a lot of mouth sores
that makes it very difficult for him to speak as well as pronouncing.
things properly. So whenever he misspeaks or anything, he immediately does the take again,
but it's just really starting to interfere with his performance. Right, right. It's so awful. So awful.
And like, I have to say, it's been like a year of this kind of stuff for me in my personal life.
And then also watching that this week. And then also last night I watched the farewell,
which is amazing. And I like highly, highly recommend it's about a Chinese family,
essentially like, I don't want to give away too much,
but sort of like with the dying grandmother,
but it's a comedy starring Aquafina.
It's comedy drama.
Comedy sad.
A lot of laughs, though.
But you're just like,
you know what I mean?
Sounds like maybe a higher quality version
of the family stone.
Oh, yeah, I loved the family stone.
No, it's also like other people,
which everyone has to watch.
I still haven't seen other people,
but I finally last year, last holiday
season on Jackie's relentless
recommendation did watch the family stone
and I did definitely cry. The spin
on the farewell is
that in a lot of like
Chinese culture. Is this spoiler alert? No,
not spoiler. It's like the opening premise.
Is that the family, if they
know they're like
nearing death, they're like
family-wide not allowed to
tell the grandmother
right, the old person, right?
So they, she only has like three months
is the premise. And so they have
to, they're like around her pretending to be putting on a wedding.
And really they're there to like be with her.
And so every like scene has like a double meaning to it.
You know what I mean?
And it's also the comedy of the family trying to like hold their shit together.
You know?
And the grandmother just being like, why is everybody being so fucking stupid right now?
You know what I mean?
It's so good.
See, but it's not so scary.
I mean, I probably shouldn't speak to it because it is not my culture at all.
but I feel like then any time anyone was being extra nice
to be like, am I about to die?
Am I about to die?
Is that why you're being nice to me?
Exactly.
There is that vibe.
And they do kind of, they do a great job of,
because Aquafina, the main character,
she's like American born.
And so she, and she's like the granddaughter,
and she is very tortured by the idea of like,
I think I should tell her.
You know what I mean?
And so they really kind of, yeah,
do a great job of like placing it in the culture
and like why they do this by, you know,
throughout. Like, oh, it's so good. Everyone needs to watch the farewell. It's brilliant.
I even, I almost cried just watching the trailer for the farewell, which is why I book more,
like, I earmarked it of, I'm gonna get back to this when I'm real holiday sad.
Yeah, exactly. I'm like, I'm ready for this. I got Alex fucking me up. You know, I lost her grandmother
this year. I'm like, I need this shit. So yeah, I just sat with Lexi who just quietly cried
for an hour and 40 minutes. Holden, have you seen other people?
Oh, yeah, you forced me.
I thought that I wasn't allowed to be friends with you
unless I saw other people.
I thought it was one of those.
I mean, I let Molly get away with it,
but that's because of the babies.
So now there's no excuse.
I, uh, oh, there was some,
I was just thinking of another really sad thing.
Oh, please.
I want to hear more.
I love sad things.
That I'm avoiding watching.
Maybe it was Chernobyl.
I still can't watch Chernobyl.
Everyone's like, don't watch Chernobyl right now.
Chernobyl is fucking.
But Chernobyl won't make you.
You cry.
Chernobyl will just make you ache.
Uh-huh.
Yeah, it just makes you just upset.
It's so upset.
It's so good.
Listen, I am so fully ready for this upcoming television season that I am already watching Hallmark holiday movies.
I mean, they're everywhere.
I found a Thanksgiving one, and I know that you love your specifically branded Thanksgiving content.
Oh, I love it.
So I'm not trying to watch it.
I'm not watching any of your recommended sad things.
I'm only watching the baking, the various baking ones.
I watched Great British Bake Off Holiday Edition.
The Holiday Edition.
I started watching it.
Yeah, I'm thinking a lot about whether or not I want to bone Paul Hollywood.
And I'm watching the regular holiday baking championship on Food Network and I'm watching
the Hallmark movies.
That's all.
See, you know what you need to do, though, that will fill you with happiness, but also
nostalgic crying, which I did yesterday, because I was like, I kept hearing that, so Disney
Plus launched yesterday.
And of course, everyone was on it, so I guess it kept going down and people were having a lot of issues with it.
So late last night, he's like, let me just see.
I'm going to do the like seven-day free trial.
Let me just see.
And probably I want to get it, but I'm not sold on paying for this yet.
Man, looking at that app, I went down memory fucking lane.
How many shows that I forgot existed that are on this goddamn.
to the point that it's evil of the things that they have.
Tell me, because I was thinking about this last night
because Gideon got it so that he could watch The Mandalorian,
but he was like, so now we have Disney Plus.
But I'm like, I was never really like a Disney movie kid.
And so I'm like, I feel like a lot of parents are like,
oh, I can't wait to like show my kid the little mermaid and stuff.
And I was like a hater.
And so I didn't have that with Disney movies.
I hate her.
I was a hater.
I'm not proud, but I was.
But I know that there must be a bunch of,
Disney content that I do have a childhood nostalgic relationship with.
But tell me like what was really setting off your synapses.
Well, I will say that I got very, very excited because Return to Oz is on there, which
I mean, I actually have not seen Return to Oz, but everyone in my life, I've like a good
amount of people around me, it's one of their favorite movies as a kid that fucked them up,
but in a weird way.
It's like, it's almost like a dark crystal kind of thing
where I was terrified of the sexies,
of the skexies in dark crystal.
But apparently returned to Oz.
Yeah, they're my sexies.
I was afraid of them just come all over me.
Too as a child.
Anything that would have been branded a sexy,
it was definitely scary to me as a child.
And they had all the sexies on there.
They have a lot of the good fun Muppet movies,
I know they own the Muppets, so the Muppet.
They have the Muppet.
Yeah, the fuck Muppets.
Yeah, the fuck Muppet.
No, Meet the Feebles is not on there.
I wish Meet the Feebles on there.
I'm definitely going to go in and re-I've been meaning to re-watch Great Muppet Caper for a long time now.
They've got all the Muppet stuff on there.
But it was like the kind of thing where Jeff looked up and he's like, oh my God, they have the
Rocketeer.
And then he looked at me and just told a beautiful story about the first time he ever saw the
Rocketeer.
It's those kind of things where it was like, I remember how much.
much I watch like Dark Wing Duck. And that was such a happy time in my life that I do want to watch it.
I remember it's like the original X-Men cartoon that I don't know a whole lot about the superheroes,
but that one I wanted to be storm so much growing up. That that was why I had originally
gotten into meteorology was because I wanted to be that storm so much, you know?
You know what I'm a little bit cheapish to say I would totally watch now is Lizzie McGuire.
Dude, for sure.
And the reboot is coming out on Disney Plus 2.
Oh, yeah, there's a reboot.
There's a reboot that is her all grown up in her 30s, but still has the like...
Still being bumbley?
Yes.
Oh, she's still bumbley.
Dude, this is what I'm saying.
It's got so many dumb things on here that I'm just like Halloween Town.
I was obsessed with Halloween Town.
I'm looking through all of the,
they've got all the home alone's on there.
It's just so many things.
They got 10 things I hate about you on there,
which I could never find on any fucking streaming service,
and it's one of my favorite movies.
I actually keep saying I want to go,
because I never watched that one.
I actually want to go back and watch that.
I was also, I was a Darkwing Duck, dude.
All right?
Yeah.
So I'm into that.
I know I don't need to pitch this to anyone
because I think it had like four million signups yesterday.
Oh, it's a very evil,
It's evil.
It's evil.
It's evil, but it is every single thing that I look at, I'm just like, but I forgot that
movie existed.
And they have like a whole genre that it's just feel good sports movies of all of the
like ones I loved as a kid.
Oh, it is so evil.
And I immediately paid for it.
Yeah.
Even though you had a seven day freeze trial, you just paid for it anyway.
Of course I did.
I signed up.
I'm so, I signed my life away to it because it is six.
99 a month for my fucking childhood.
Yeah.
They own our childhood and are selling it back to us.
They're selling it back to us.
That's exactly what the problem is.
I hate it.
I hate it.
I love it.
I hate it.
I love it.
Between that and his dark materials right now,
I don't even know what to do with myself.
I'm also watching his dark materials.
Oh, my God.
I am not because I'm reading it with my wife.
Because that's what we like to do.
We like to, we did that with Game of Thrones.
we did that with, what else we do that with,
uh, da, da, da, da, da.
Oh, we've done it with other stuff.
And now we're doing it with this.
Harry Potter, Harry Potter.
You read it whilst the new stuff is coming out.
We'll, like, read a book together and then we'll like watch the stuff, right?
So with Harry Potter, it was super fun as neither of us had read or seen any of it before.
So we just devoured it together.
And it's always fun to have like a companion piece to the book you're reading.
Yeah, that is fun.
You know, you get just a little bit more.
You're like, oh, cool.
Now that we've, you know, ingested it this way, we get to ingest it this way.
And I'm such a nerd for like adaptations and discussing them and talking about like why, oh, why did they leave this out?
Oh, I get why they left this out.
But I feel like they could have done this.
You know what I mean?
And it's very fascinating to talk about the ins and outs of that with somebody, you know, and then have sex.
Whoa.
Oh, my God, the brave little toaster.
I was going to ask about the brave little toaster.
If the brave little toaster's on there, I got to go.
Homeward Bound?
Is Homeward Bound?
I think overbound is also on here.
Oh, shit.
The Brave Little Toaster.
That's, oh, my God.
Oh, no, I'm going to watch that today.
That's going to be a rough afternoon.
Yeah, I'm going to watch that.
I hate how hard you're selling Disney Plus to people right now.
That's not, you know.
I'm sorry, but I was that person.
I really was.
I was like, oh, I'm going to have to get it.
And of course, because same as Gideon, Jeff was like,
oh, I have to watch the Mandalorian.
I was like, all right, I couldn't even possibly.
Yeah, I jump like, oh, God, I gotta watch.
Oh, no, that's not what he sounds like.
He's very demure.
But also, I kind of am, I want to do-
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I was just going to say that Mandalorian is one of those things that everyone's freaking out about,
so I'm purposely not going to watch it for a long time.
Kind of like the This Is America music video.
I like purposely didn't watch it for like a month.
Just because everyone's like, everyone is everyone watching it.
You have to watch it.
It's Mandalorian.
It's Starwa.
So I have to watch her.
See, I was a hater when I was a kid, but you're a hater now.
I kind of, I just don't like when everybody all has to watch something.
I'm just like, I'm not watching it then.
That's what hater means.
Yeah, you're being a hater.
I'm a giver and I'm a lover.
Wow.
Are you a bitch?
And are you a fucking mother?
I wish sometimes.
Maybe someday I will.
But I did think it was very funny because, again, as everyone is always telling me that I remind them of Werner Herzog.
Again, another thing that is a similarity between us.
He is a part of the Mandalorian.
I guess he's a tiny part in it.
And I asked Jeff what part he was in it
because I refused to watch it.
And he has never seen a Star War before.
I laughed so hard when you emailed us and said,
everyone's always telling me how much I remind them of burner or something.
Yeah, that is.
I could not.
That was one of the funniest things you've ever emailed.
Because of your Instagram post?
Like, what is?
Like, how?
Because I always talk like this.
And he likes WrestleMania.
He loves WrestleMania.
He loves keeping up with the Kardashian.
He loves trash television.
And has never seen his Star War, but is in the New Mandalorian show.
And that just delights me.
But so I was reading this and I was writing about this.
And Jeff was like, well, you do realize that he's got like a great sense of humor?
And I didn't actually know that Werner Herzog is.
is apparently a very funny person.
Yeah, I didn't know that either.
And because I love, so I guess this was all,
it seems that it was a bit.
I was reading this interview that Werner Herzog did with the AV club,
and he had said in it that,
well, he said say he would never relive an event or a moment in his own life
because he likes to plow through life without ever looking back.
And so he asks, why, blah, blah.
And he says, because I'm not living in the past,
or looking at my past or looking at myself.
I don't even know the color of my eyes
because I do not look at myself in the mirror.
But apparently that's a joke.
But I thought it was very fun.
It would be the most hurt-sock thing to ever exist
that if he actually just didn't look at himself in the mirror.
But also to be like to say it
and have everybody be like, that must be true.
And then to have him be like, I am joking.
How great is that?
I want people to think it's like,
oh, everything she says.
She is such a.
Oh my God, she is such a truthful person.
She never exaggerates.
Her word is her bond.
So good.
No one's ever said it about me.
No one ever will say it about me, but I guess that's fine.
My favorite line from the interview is,
you have to understand how the trout is thinking.
Because he likes to fish for trout by hand.
Also, they asked him,
do you have a question you'd like to pose for the next person?
and we interview, and he said, yes, do you know how to open safety locks illegally, of course,
do you know how to forge a document?
Let's say a shooting permit in a country that has a military dictatorship.
Jesus Christ.
And then they were like, yeah, you teach that in your like, I guess those like online education courses.
He's like, yes, that is the only thing I teach in this.
And it's supposed to be about filmmaking and he's teaching them how to pick locks.
Oh my God, he's a silly head.
I love him.
He's just a little German silly head.
I love it.
This all stemmed, of course, as well because I was watching Jeff fall asleep,
watching meeting Gorbachev, but not because it was just because we had been up all night long,
which why I was falling asleep.
He's like, no, it's really, really good, which is why I had to put it, I had to shut it off
because it was actually keeping me awake, but I was making, I was making a jab.
I was making a joke.
I've made jokes before.
That's what makes you Peggy.
I'm such a Peggy, aren't I?
You are such a Peggy?
See, every time you say Peggy, I think of either Peggy Hill or Peggy Bundy,
so I especially take that as a compliment.
It's literally just a Peggy is that lady who helps your uptight mother just get a little loose once a month.
You know what I mean?
Isn't there a Peggy and Mad Men?
Isn't that what's her name is?
The, the, the, uh, the Scientologist, you know.
Oh, yeah, yeah, handmade's tale.
Tom Cruise, yeah.
I know you.
I speak in your language right now.
Elizabeth, Elizabeth.
Hurley.
Tom Cruise did it.
Elizabeth Moss.
Oh, thank you.
Yeah.
Wait, is that her name in it?
I never got into the mag.
I couldn't do it.
I have a memory trick for that.
Every time I think of her name, I think.
Elizabeth, what's on that tree?
Oh, that's kind of cute.
I remember Moss.
I'm done.
with this. I'm so hungry.
I'm so hungry.
All right.
I guess it's time for the list, okay?
Oh, who's on the list?
Jackie, got to have that list.
We are doing 40 things you didn't know about Sesame Street because again, like I said,
it is the 50th anniversary of Sesame Street.
God damn, I love me some Sesame Street.
But looking at a lot of the pictures of what some of the puppets used to,
excuse me, what the puppets used to look like?
was they're actually fairly scary.
Have you ever seen the picture that Cookie Monster used to have pointy teeth?
Yeah, there was a, there's an incredible Twitter account called Muppets in History.
And there was a video that was tweeted out like a week or two ago that was the original ad,
like a commercial for, you know, crackers or something that Jim Henson had like gotten hired to do.
And in the ad, there are different puppets like talking about the different foods.
and one of them is like the original kind of cookie monster like prototype.
And it's like when you watch season one of The Simpsons, you know,
or read Life as Hell and you're like, oh, it's just, it's kind of, it's there,
but it's not quite realized, yeah, you know.
Very, very upsetting.
It's all very upsetting.
But apparently the pointy teeth went away in 1969.
Now, psychology today attempted to, but tongue and cheek,
to diagnose the Sesame Street characters with mental disorders.
So the count has OCD, of course, so it was counting things.
The cookie monster has an eating disorder.
Go fuck yourself.
Don't tell me I don't live my life.
Turkeys need to be bigger.
I'm pro.
Why don't they have cute clothes for bigger turkeys?
And I am announcing this now for 2020, but we need more slaw.
More slaw.
Yeah, I want more slaw in buildings.
I want more slaw in schools.
Okay.
But are you asking for mayo-based slaws or vinegar-based sloths?
vinegar-based slah.
It's got to be.
What's the southern slaw?
I feel like it's more mayo-y.
With pepper.
And get more pepper in that slaw north.
A mayoey's slah is good if it's fresh, but like the little paper cup of
slaw you get on the side of things.
Yeah, that's bullshit slaw.
No, thank you.
Fuck that slaw.
Especially when I would try to get as many calories when I was like, well, if I gave
it to me, I'm going to eat it anyway, whether I liked it or not, because, again,
I'm a cookie monster.
I would take a bite of my sandwich and shoot the paper cup slaw.
behind it just to eat it because I didn't want it to be thrown away.
Right, you don't want to waste it.
Oh, man, I would eat slaw off a weak old dead person right now.
I'm so hungry.
Well, that's why we're going to keep talking about how snuffaloficus is depressed.
But then Big Bird has schizophrenia because snuffie is a grown bird, but snuffalofagus, which will always blow my brain, is that he is not real.
But no, no, no, no.
There's an, I'm sorry to bring up this Muppet history thing again,
but there was this incredible video that they tweeted out like two or three weeks ago.
So Snuffelopagus is imaginary, right?
But in the like 1989, there was this thing where the writers of Sesame Street got worried that because Snuffelupagus is telling all the adults about this thing that is like, we can see him, Snuffel Upagus.
the adults, the creators of Sesame Street were like, what if kids think that adults won't believe them if they have something like, if they have to like report abuse?
And so they had this scene where all of the adults in like 1989, they're all lined up.
All of the human adults in Sesame Street see Snufflypicus for the first time.
And it's this incredible single shot pan across all their faces.
And they're all like, like slackjod.
and they're all looking at snufflepicus.
And then they do this amazing thing
where they're like, Big Bird, we are so sorry
we didn't believe you.
And he's like, yeah, it's incredible.
So there you guys.
Snuffelophagus is both real and a metaphor
for sexual and physical abuse on children.
No, he's not.
He's evil.
He's not evil.
No, it was just a, it was a lesson in like apologizing.
Like they were like, Big Bird, we're sorry.
That must have been really frustrating for.
you and Bigwood was like, yeah, it was.
And they were like, well, now we will believe you when you tell us something.
It's incredibly moving.
If you want to cry, go find it.
Wait, where is this from?
I want to watch this.
I'm sure it was on Twitter from this Muppets and History account, but I'm sure if you
search like snuffle-upagus real, you'll find it.
Okay.
All right, I'm definitely going to look into that because anything, honestly, it's like
every time I watch Jim Hens, the footage from Jim Henson's funeral.
that I always, oh my God.
And the classic explaining Big Bird
to Big Bird what death means.
Yes, the other one that's like, oh, I can't.
So good.
I can't handle that.
God.
Oh, gosh.
Well, this is a nice one, though.
James Earl Jones was the first celebrity to appear on Sesame Street.
Isn't that fun?
And now they got pentatomics.
Oscar the Grouch was orange originally.
Weird.
I don't know why he was orange.
He just was.
And Snuffleupicus' real name.
His first name is Aloysius.
That's fun.
Jigs.
Oh, double Jigs.
Oh, no, what's going to happen?
Wait, what does she owe you?
She can't say anything.
Oh, she has to pay me $100 right now, and I'll say her name.
She must have.
Thank you.
On a podcast to be jinks.
But I would.
I would just leave.
I just like, you know what?
You know what? I'll go home a little early.
I can't believe we both said the same thing and then said jinks at the same time.
That's incredible.
I'm a jinkster.
I'm a jing. You are a jinkster.
You are like a trickster god.
You are a jinkster for sure.
Fran Brill was the first female puppeteer to work on Sesame Street.
She was trained by the legendary puppeteers, Frank Oz, and Jim Henson.
Hell yeah.
Hell yeah.
Did you guys watch the, by any chance, the behind the scenes making of the Dark Crystal
prequel?
No, not yet.
Not yet.
Because I did not watch the Dark Crystal prequel because I don't do fantasy, but I do do puppets.
And so I watched the, with Gideon, I watched the making.
He loved, loved, loved the 10 episode prequel, but then he wanted to watch the, he sold me
on watching the making of, and it's amazing.
And it's really cool because all of these puppeteers have been working.
working with the Mupp, you know, with Sesame Workshop or with the Henson Workshop forever are, like,
working on this, like, the, like, most money that's ever been invested in making a puppet show.
And have you been to the Henson Exhibit in a story?
I haven't, but I've heard that it's amazing.
I've been a couple times now.
I love it.
Yeah, yeah.
And Museum of Motion Pictures.
Museum of Moving Images.
I've been wanting to go to that.
And every time it's because I keep dipping my toe into coming back into New York.
I just, I have to, I'm sorry, I'll stop saying dipping my toe.
I really hate that.
I know you hate it.
I have a foot thing, so I hate the dipping the toes.
And also when Jackie says it comes with a very cute little like dippin.
Yeah, she puts a little hand, like her hands with the toes with the toes.
My hands up.
Hands up.
Oh my God.
I didn't know.
You're being very unpeggy right now.
Deaping it.
I'm a little diaping it.
Be' watch out my thing's going to dip on you.
I guess this is driving me to drink in the middle of the afternoon.
So maybe it is actually more peggy than I thought of it.
You're welcome.
And they always go to Hooper's store and they get a bird seed milkshake, big bird does.
And in 1969, it costs 20 cents.
And now, inflation, it costs $2.99.
Wow.
I mean, still cheap for a milkshake in New York City.
It is very, very cheap for a milkshake.
And last but not least, why the name Sesame Street?
After a long search for a catchy name, one of the show's writers suggested, Sesame Street.
The word Sesame Street, an allusion to the fabled command.
from the Arabian nights.
Open a Sesame
suggested excitement and adventure.
Since the show was set in an urban street scene,
Sesame Street seemed an ideal combination.
And haven't you heard everything?
One of my new favorite things
that happens on the show
is holding being mildly unimpressed with the lips.
You hate my list, and I love the list.
It'll never go away.
Now I have heard everything.
But, oh, my God, I'm also not seeing everything.
Oh, my God.
What is?
It's dark.
Oh, no.
It's so dark.
I can't see my head.
An inch in front of my case.
I think I'm going.
Blind.
I know.
We can't see them.
Wow.
Slacking today, y'all.
We are slacking today, okay?
I've been gone for two months,
and I can't believe that we left this right where we started it.
Molly, we are never, ever, ever going to move forward without you.
You should have seen the glee,
the sheer glee in Natalie's face when I made her do this opening for blind items.
She loves it.
And people, and I've seen a lot of people in chat things,
talk about how much they love the blind items opening
and how long and fun it is.
So I just want to say,
thanks everybody for your kind words out there
about how much you love the way that we intro blind items.
He loves it.
You know what, you do a very good job.
I'm proud of you.
Well, I'm proud of this.
We have a special blind item today.
We have an exclusive to page seven blind item today.
Sent in from a listener.
I am not allowed to provide any info about any of,
This is real shit.
I'm pretty sighted.
And if you think you have this kind of thing, I will not docks you.
Send it in to me.
I will treat it with respect.
And smoke and mirrors.
Here we go, you ready?
Okay, smoke and mirrors.
This former A-lister is making a new music video for an old hit song.
Cast and crew had to work 19-hour days.
And she couldn't be bothered to show up to set until noon.
Simple dance moves took dozens of takes.
The two or three wine bottles she was putting away.
every day didn't help.
Mariah Carey.
A hundred percent.
What?
And I can't even tell you how I got access to this, but...
That's just a blind item.
Isn't that great?
It is a great blind item.
What do you think the video is, too?
I mean, I guess it's all I want for Christmas is you, even though they just put out another
one of it, but it was just old footage of her in the 90s being sexy Christmas.
Yeah, this is new.
I am into Rostend.
I am just so pleased to get an exclusive one.
That is so cool.
That's exciting.
So thank you for that.
I didn't do anything.
They just sent me up.
I just read my DMs.
That's all I do.
Well, I just want to say thank you to whomever sent it in.
It is species, spicy.
And you know what?
I still can't wait to see the new video to see how, you know what,
we'll give shoutouts to how brilliant the editors are.
There you go.
This, you want more, would you like some more blind?
Please, sir.
We want some more.
We want some more.
Then give me your porridge cup, and I will pour the blind items.
Keep it down inside.
Get nowhere near my wine.
I don't want you to put anything in here.
This A-plus singer knows she isn't going to win any acting awards.
But she wants the Oscar for Best Song, so it's going to make sure that during its two weeks of eligibility,
there is an onslaught of publicity about the song.
Is it Moriah Carey again?
No, I wish.
I wish.
I wish.
It is not a Mariah Carey again.
So it's one of these movies that are now out that is going to be a streaming almost only,
but they're doing it to be eligible as part of the Oscars, correct?
Not necessarily.
It's just that it's coming out so late in the year.
Okay.
Oh, that it's only going to be in.
You said she's an A plus singer?
A plus singer.
A plus singer and a movie.
that's coming out soon.
With songs in it.
So it's...
Oh, cats!
Yes.
Oh.
Jennifer Hudson?
No.
Is it Taylor Swift?
Yeah.
Oh!
She wrote a song, that new song with Andrew Lloyd Webber.
She wrote a new song for Cats called Beautiful Ghosts.
Oh, God.
And Swift and Andrew Lloyd Webber, apparently they met up.
He played the new song on the piano, and apparently Swift just immediately started
writing lyrics, quote, then and there.
Yeah.
You know I love Andrew Lloyd Weber a lot, but I'm not sure Cats needs another song.
I'm not sure.
I think Cats might need less song.
I think it needs less.
I think it definitely needs less.
I just put this in here, not, not, please, listeners, not just to bring up Taylor Swift for the millionth time.
I brought this up just to remind us all your week, you're like every other week reminder that Cats is a thing we all get to see at the end of this year.
It's one of those moments that I'm so sad we all don't live in the same city.
I know.
I was just thinking, I desperately wish we could go together.
I want to eat so much junk food and get so drunk.
Just eat like, eat a bunch of bar grub and get hammered and go into that theater.
Yeah.
Oh, that's a tragedy that we can't see it together.
Yeah.
Because, boy, if they took out every song but memory, I think it might be a good movie.
Yeah.
You know, but I think that.
And just did it completely differently.
You know, the whole thing.
You don't like calico, carlo-c-c-ca-ca-c-c-c-c-cac-coc.
I had to do that on karaoke on my Twitch stream.
We had to do it together, Holden, remember?
Yeah, you had to do it with me.
Oh, my God, in heaven.
It was a, and it goes on forever.
It's forever.
I was talking to a guy who, like, did or does,
maybe even still cats on Broadway and just said how exhausting that is to do.
Well, because they got to pip around,
pip around, and just sing the same thing.
Apparently, like, you kind of maybe wouldn't notice it as much unless you're in it.
You do not stop moving the entire time if you're a cat in cats.
Like, you are literally doing cat person gymnastics.
Because you have to be always a cat.
Yeah.
It is ludicrous.
So he would just say at the end of, like, intermission, you should be like,
ah, everyone's just like staring at each other.
Like, by the time they cut their breath, it's like, places everybody.
Like, it is a nightmare.
Nightmare. Nightmare, nightmare, nightmare.
One more?
More.
Prepare to be amazed.
Give me your goblets, madome.
And I twillst, pour the blood of the blind.
Oh, never mind.
Maybe I don't want more.
I twillest.
The really bad actress slash former reality star can say whatever she wants,
but no one behind the.
the scenes wants to work with her after what she did before to something that had a chance to work.
Uh-huh.
Ah!
Are you not mortified?
I don't know what that means.
Can you read it again, but with more attitude?
I'll say it more bitchily.
The really bad actress slash former reality star can say what.
ever she wants.
Tori Spelling.
Yes, you fucking maniac.
How did you?
I'm the best.
Because 902101O, the second season,
the reboot just got canceled.
It just got canceled.
Tori Spelling, after the show was canceled,
posted on Instagram, a pick of her
in her red prom dress from the premiere
of the reboot with a caption of the red.
When Fox picked up the show,
it was always billed as a summer event.
Thanks to Fox would be the 306 episodes
of 90210.
If the show gets picked up somewhere else,
We will talk about making more, but thank you to all the fans that kept the dream alive and supported us for so long.
Bitch.
But I, yeah, but nobody else wants to do it.
No, I can, I think, yeah, as someone I watched, I think four or five episodes of it, I couldn't keep going.
I had, I tapped out.
I really, and there are very few shows that I really, truly tap out hard from, and that was one of them.
It wasn't even salaciously great.
You know what I mean?
It was just kind of boring.
And no offense to the people that made the show just didn't need to be rebooted.
Yeah, I think that we are in the age of 90s nostalgia, but some things are better left on resurrected.
And yet again, the pendulum swings away.
As blind items will come again another.
The day.
Thank you for the creepy blind items, even though it is Thanksgiving fucking territory.
and it's not Halloween anymore.
So if I can get used to it.
Yeah, you better have a gobble-themed blind-anim character next week.
All right, I'll work on it.
I'll work on that.
That wasn't the voice, buddy.
That's not the voice I'm going to use.
Oh, no, Molly, what have you done to us?
That's not the voice.
That's not the voice.
Everyone's upset.
Thank you guys so much for joining us this week.
Jess are reminded to you guys, we've got some live shows coming up for you guys soon.
the page 7, Wizard and the Bruiser,
mesh up.
We're going to be doing it in December 11th in Los Angeles.
We got it in January 9th at Chicago,
January 10th, the Potsiac, Michigan,
and January 11th in Milwaukee.
We've got, our tickets are live.
If you go to lastpodcastnetwork.com
slash P7 live, you can get all your tickets there.
My name is Jackie Zabrowski.
You can follow me on Instagram at Jack That Worm.
My name is Molly Neffle.
I'm MJK LK.
LK.
My name is Holden McKinley, and you can find me at Twitch.tv, forward slash Holdenators-O.
But you can also, like, check out the Patreon.
You can.
You know, like Patreon.com, forward slash page 7 podcast.
Honestly, guys, we got ad, we got, what, ad-free episodes.
We got $5 a month.
You get a bonus episode.
Can you tell I'm literally falling apart as a human being?
You're falling apart.
I don't think I'll get a burger.
If you need your Natalie Jean Fix, we are starting.
to release our weekly episodes of pop history.
This week's episode was on Shania Twain.
And next week's episode is all in the creation of euphoria.
So please check it out.
We've got lots of fun content coming into your ears.
And I am learning everything about Mariah Carey right now.
Ooh.
Yeah.
Seasonally appropriate.
Mm-hmm.
We love you guys so much.
And we will talk to you next week.
Bye.
Bye.
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