Page 7 - Episode 332: Front Grubs

Episode Date: December 13, 2019

Uh-oh, cleanup in aisle Page 7 cuz we're gossing about Jason Derulo's too hot for Instagram pic, Adam Driver in "Marriage Story" and Lizzo twerking at the Laker's game.    Visit http://awaytravel.com/page7 and order by 11:59 on 12/15 for free shipping with guaranteed free delivery by 12/20.   Get started today at http://stitchfix.com/page7 and get an extra 25% off when you keep everything in your box!   Sponsored link: http://www.simplecontacts.com/page7 and use promo code: page7.   Just go to http://getquip.com/page7 to save on gift sets and to get your first refill FREE with a refill plan.   Chicago, Pontiac & Milwaukee, come see Frau Jackie and the rest of the gang this January!  Get your tickets here for Page 7 and Wizard and the Bruiser LIVE!    Poppers & Prosecco, Rainbows, Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/ Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Any time of day that Holden has to be quiet is the perfect time of day. Just nuts roasting on an open fire. Oh my God, it's like we're sitting by a fire. Big butt sitting in my lap. Oh my God, you're scared Santa. Anytime, anyway. Every time, every day. Yeah, I forget sometimes that you are in a band.

Merry Christmas Screw Merry Christmas Merry Christmas Merry Christmas to the Jews Because the Jews should get a Merry Christmas too

And also a happy Hanukkah Yeah happy Hanukkah When does it start Molly? I think it's December 22nd It's like right around the Christmas time All right It's going to be an overlap So you got to do double

Celebrating Duty this year Are you excited two children under the age of two. Two holidays at once. How are you going to do it all? I got two different sets of matching family pajamas, one for Christmas and one for Hanukkah. That's it.

That's how you fucking tackle a holiday. Welcome to page seven, guys. My name is Jackie Zabrowski. You know what I'm doing really right now and I apologize, Molly? I'm transferring my anxiety onto you. That's what I'm doing. I want you to be anxious too.

I see what's happening here. Give it to me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My name is Molly Neffel. and I got enough anxiety to go around. And I got so much that what's a little bit more? You're welcome. And my name's Holda McNeely,

and I feel like we should put this show in context. We are hours away from our live show in L.A. We are in no way dealing with massive anxiety about that fact. We are in no way freaking out about that. We're here to have a fun slumber party with everybody. I'm at a slumber party. I'm at a slumber party, but Molly is busy being a mother of two.

and I, you know what, honestly right now, I think I want to watch, can I watch the kids instead? Yeah, let's totally do like a Freaky Friday style teleportation body swap. Oh my God, that's awesome. I would terrify the kids. And especially, I feel like our bodies

would like cartoonishly change. Like I would like become like a, like you would become like you're entering a balloon so you could get a lot bigger. And I would shrink down as I got a lot smaller. And then the kids would like, what's happening to mommy? I'm like, mommy's Trinky.

Mommy's scary. I've never been more frightened of Jacqueline Zabrowski, I think, in my entire life than in this moment. You think that Holden is just saying this forward the podcast, but he has been saying this since I walked into the studio. And it's impressive because you guys have known each other and worked together for decades. Well, that's the thing. She hasn't done anything specifically at me or to me, but if you know someone for so long, you can feel an energy. You can feel a of, it's like, real, real. Right now, I want to take a picture of your aura right now

because it's probably just like sludge colors. Don't take a fucking picture of my aura right now. Probably looks like the ooze from Teenage Mutiny Ninja Turtles. You know what I mean? I think it's that anyone is always scared of me whenever I'm quiet. Yes, way more frightening. It's not like I can't, usually I'm like,

like I'm annoyingly loud. And even today, Jeff said that, too he's just like man I don't like I was just I was looking at my phone and he goes man I don't like it when you're quiet and I'm like what do you mean that was my response yeah I'll give you something not to like yeah it's like you're talking about yeah it's like Kubrick's the shining you know what I mean it's not one of the little girls it's not about hello daddy it's not about you know the act the jump mo it's not the here's Johnny it's about the long silent space What, you don't want to come play with me?

Yeah, I'll come play. Well, I'm going to play with you tonight on stage in front of a bunch of our fans, and we're going to have a fucking blast, Jackie. That sounds like a weird form that I've definitely thought of in my brain. Not with you, though. We're going to fuck on stage. No, the baby. Well, at least the baby's not on this coast.

The baby, Zelda can't hear you saying the horrible things. Give the baby headphones. I need the baby to hear this imprint. Yeah, this is your swearing episode, hold, because Zelda doesn't have headphones, so she's not going to hear any of the filth that you say. I'll say the F today. I'll say the F today.

No, it's the D word. It's a holiday time. And also Zelda is wearing, oh my God, I can't. Zelda just has on this little reindeer sweatshers. See, the problem is that my womb still aches to be filled. So looking at Zelda, even though it makes my anxiety melt away because she's not mine. Yeah. What noise does your womb make when you see a child?

It's like a gnashing. Oh my God. Right, Mom? I imagine that it was the noise that makes, like, do you know the noise that the drain makes when you, like, finally do all the dishes and there's, like, a big slurp. It's, like, sucking in. See, I feel like that's what it sounds like every time I have sex now, as if my, like, my uterus is trying to suck the penis, like, all the way up inside of itself. Like, so it's not just in the vaginal cavity. It's all the way up into the uterus so that they can get direct contact.

It's like, what do they call it when the guys shove their hands in the log and pull out? the giant salmon. Oh yeah, I watch that sport all the time. Yeah, salmon shooting. Salmon shooting. Salmon shooting is a lot of different things depending on where you are. Right. It's a lot of different things. It's a lot of different things, but God bless America, right? You know what? You are correct. I saw a baby this morning that was wearing, oh my God, it had some sort of crocodile suit on. and I remember when I was young. Oh my God, it wasn't crocodile rock. It was crocodile cock.

No. Oh, God, what's wrong with me? I'm sorry. I'm malfunctioning. I feel like you're, yeah, exactly. I feel like you're, you're, you just got horny. You're getting like horny out of nowhere, but it's in like placed in a wrong space. I am malfunctioning.

I am not a person anymore. This is what you want to hear right before doing a live show with, with another person for like hundreds of people is I'm, I'm, malfunctioning. I'm malfunctioning. Yeah, but, you know, as they say, use it because if what you do when you're upset is say crocodile cock, I wish,

man, I'm not funny when I'm upset. I'm only scary and no fun. And Jackie's kind of fun. Yeah, she's actually, I prefer, much like her brother, I prefer when she's in shambles. Manic energy. Yes, manic energy is usually where I'm best

kept. But Molly, watching you when you're scary I think I've only seen it once or twice and it is scary. What was, can you give context? I don't even remember. I just remember you being upset. I mean, we've known each other for what? Twelve years, it's like we've known each other for forever.

So I feel like I've definitely seen you those times. I think it was breakups. It was like giving up on wanting a partner or anything solid in your life. I remember those times. And all those times were very scary. We were very drunk and I think that Molly it's the tiniest fighters that are the scariest I'm like dark Betty you know I got a darkness in me God you are like dark Betty you do you're oh my god Molly's filled with the serial killer jeans see you don't watch Riverdale oh wow

can you have to call it every single time you make a reference you don't watch it and it's like you know what I have a lot things to watch it's killing me it's killing me with the goal I mean not to segue us too early, but with the Golden Globes coming out, looking through that list, I'm like, I'm watching so much TV, and I'm still not watching near enough. Succession, succession. That's what now I sing, because my problem is I miss Succession. I'm like, what are all these fucking shows? I don't even know these shows. You live under a rock. I miss Succession desperately. I would watch Succession every single night, if I could. I was excited because I was watching some show

and there was like a snippet on HBO of just like Succession. And I was so excited because I was like, are we watching Succession right now? Like I forgot what we were doing and I got so excited because I thought we were watching Succession. Right. You need to watch it. I started something yesterday that I really like, or two nights ago.

What does that mean? Or yesterday. I started watching Letterkenny. Isn't Letterkenny great? It's pretty cool. I like it. It's a lot of fun. It's definitely, it doesn't.

I love Letterkenny, and I consumed it. But Succession, I dream about succession. And especially Shiv has these, her ass is beautiful. What's her name? And she wears, well, I know, I mean, her name is Chivon in the show. I don't know what her real name is. And her. If you Google Shivroy, you'll see it.

You'll see your ass. Yeah, still Googlable. All I need is that. Shivroy, and if you, oh, my God, Holden, just look at her butt. because she's definitely your type anyway. She totally is. Her butt is, it's like looking at the moon, and she wears, and she wears these pantsuits

that I'm telling you. How could you wear a pantsuit like that? And yet, the pantsuit never gives her front, what is it, grub, lip grub? Cameltoe. Cameltoe. Never gives her lip grub. Error, error, this is what happened in Jaggy's edges now.

Error! Error cannot compute. Error! Yeah, I'm now staring at her ass. And great, thanks for making me all weird and horny before our show. You're welcome. Well, you are in your pajami pants. I'm sorry.

I'm drying my clothes right now. Oh, that's cute, Holden is wearing his pajami pants, and it is, it's, um, unprofessional. I'm also wearing my Swift Bucks T-shirts. You're wearing your swim. I mean, I'm all, yeah, I'm all gross, but it's kind of fun, though. We're being gross over you. I was like, you're wearing like workout clothes. Yeah, I'm wearing workout clothes.

Okay, because I want to be fucking comfortable. Yeah, me too. Unprofessional. You know what? We just had her first fight of the day and I apologize and I made Jackie cry. Oh. No, to me there's an important mental difference between your pajamas and your exercise clothes. Like when I was pregnant, I would wake up and take off my pajamas and then put on like basketball shorts, which were not, you know, actual pants to be worn professional.

But it was a psychological thing. It's a psychological change. It is out of your jammies into something else. And that's why it kind of drives me crazy. And people are like, well, you're work... I do wear workout clothes often. And when they're like, oh, workout clothes aren't clothes. Do you see my pussy?

No, I got clothes on. And that's... That is all... That is my only requirement. I have a thing. When I live stream from home, I still put my shoes on. I always have my shoes on. Just because I'm not wearing shoes right now.

which feels weird. Really? I always have my shoes on. Honestly, and usually you guys usually see, I at least have I'm clothes, I have shoes on, and if I'm not in workout clothes, I usually have makeup on. Even if no one sees me in the day, because I think I've said that on here before, it for me makes me feel like, oh, I have gotten out of bed. Right.

Yeah, you got to do something. And it's tough because when I record at home, my studio is in my home, and I usually have to, like, negotiate my way past several children or with at least one child. like a video game obstacle, you know, and so I don't really have time to like put my, uh, professional face on. Of course not. So I have to channel it from within. Although you've never were like a makeup wear or anything.

I think that your professional face like this is your professional face. Yeah, I think that's right. But I always want to be a, you know, I, I, I like wearing makeup. But my problem is that my jobs are recording in a room by myself or working with kids. And if I ever show up to a school with makeup on, The kids are like, why you don't make a bun. They like, they notice it immediately. And then I feel like I have to answer for myself.

Of course. It's just like, I mean, do you get the, are you a flusy, Miss Molly? Oh. Yeah, because that's a word kids still use. Flusi. Yeah, yeah, definitely. That's not from the 1940s. Some sort of hollet.

You have a bit of a vagabond now, Miss Neville? Well, you guys are lucky that I'm not wearing my family matching. Christmas pajamas that I was wearing last night whilst watching marriage story by myself. But my husband was wearing matching pajamas in a different room. So, you know, I think we got it going. It's a movie that you watch by yourself. We did talk about it a little bit on talking TV. But now we have all watched it. We need to talk about it a little bit. So I guess should we say, are we spoilers for marriage story? I don't think spoilers. No spoilers? No spoilers? I mean, we all know it's sad. I don't think we need to do spoilers. because it doesn't really, I don't really care.

And in fact, I found it to be quite long. And I, so long that I didn't finish it. But that's probably my problem because I'm very sleep deprived. It's really not that long, but I was like, this movie is forever. And then I realized, I don't need to finish it because we're not going to be talking about the last 30 minutes of marriage story on page seven. It's fine.

I can go to bed. It is two hours and 15 minutes long, I believe. Yeah. So still an full hour and 15 minutes shorter than the Irishman. And, man, that movie. was, marriage story, was like a punch in my stomach. It was absolutely beautiful and gut-wrenching because for me personally, I'm just going to throw it out there. A lot of creepy

parallels between that film and my own marriage. So I was just like, I hate this. You are, I will say, Adam Driver is definitely a Hollywood hot version of you. Oh, yeah, he is just a, I mean. Except I would say people were successful. Yeah, you think so? Was he performing at the region theater tonight? I'm going to say that I would take a ride on the merry-go-round.

What does that mean? I would get pizza with Scarlett-Johanssen? I would get pizza with him. Oh, with Adam Driver. Yeah, I'd get pizza and we'd go on. Okay. Mary-go-round together. The Order of Hotness and Marriage Story ranked.

Number one, Laura Dern. Oh, my God. She's so good. Oh my God, she's so good. I said to Jackie, I was like, she is very quickly becoming one of my favorite actresses of all time. I cannot believe her. Her range is a man. Like to see her in blue velvet and then to see her in this movie or Big Little Lies, it is unbelievable.

It's like two different people. She's so good. So good. And I can't wait to see her as Marmee and Little Women. Yeah, little women too. Her character in Big Little Lies, it like literally could be the same. It could be like Renato walked off of the set of, off of the world of Big Little Lies. as an into the world of marriage story.

100%. I agree with you in general that her rage is amazing. And I just feel like she's like numbers 1 through 10 of hotness. And then after that, it's like, I'm going to put Scarjo ahead of Adam Driver. I do not have the thirst for Adam Driver.

Although I feel like I get it. It's a language I can speak, but it's not a language I choose to speak. Whoa, good communication skills, Molly. I hear you. You know what? Honestly, I feel that way. And this is scary for me to.

say I feel that way about Scarlett Johansson. She is everything that I want in a woman and she's got, oh, I mean, I, honestly, I'd have sex with just her lips if I could. I really love her lips and her eyes. This is a horrible thing to say. But I, I, like, it's her essence that I'm not attracted to. Yeah. Yeah, it's her fucking essence.

She's got like, I could kind of see that. She's got a sternness about her. She's a little too stern for me. Yeah, she's a bit stern. She's a bit of a, yeah, she's a bit of an angry librarian situation. Which, I mean, I wouldn't say no to an angry librarian, which tells me to shush. Yeah.

I feel like you would say yes to an angry library. Yeah, that's true. Yes, please. I am of lust for her. Interesting. Yeah. So you put Scarlett Joanne's in above Adam Driver, Molly. I just, you know, I really was struggling with this

because I know that the discourse for the last week has just been about whether or not you want to fuck Adam Driver. Obviously. And I just like I want to get it. Like I like a tall, gangly dufus. But he's like too tall and his face is so big. Now that he does the Star Wars, he's not gangly. Now that he does the Star Wars, he's no longer gangly at all.

Is he not gangly? He's beefy. I know. I want to climb along with the Arne. When he's shirtless in the Star Wars? Have you seen that? No, I don't know. Oh, look up him in Star Wars all shirtless.

Show me, show me. I'm showing you right now. I would like to have sex with his acting ability. He fucking delivers in this movie on an acting level. Yeah, that scene, and you know the scene I'm talking about, the big fight scene is I just, I've been there before. I have been in a position where I've said everything I could to. Showing her the shirtless Adam Driver from the Star Wars movie.

He ain't got no shirt on. He's beefy. lick the sweat off him. Look how beefy he is. I want to lick the sweat off of him. Yeah, look how beefy. He's just so, it's like, his size doesn't make sense. Like, I like a tall person.

I like a broad person sometimes, although you know that like, like, gangly is more my style. Oh, I know. He looks like he's been, he looks like he's been, like, photoshopped into the screen, but the aspect ratio is wrong, you know? Like, he's just been like, like, like stretched out. Yeah, he's a little too stretched. He's got, he's like, he's like a long beef. He's like long, but he's also beefy.

You know what I mean? Oh my God, I'm referring to people as long beaves. Ooh, yeah, he's a long beef. You know he's a long beef? Goth, Daddy. Yeah, he's a bit of a long beef. Yeah, do you need to go have sex and come back and start recording for the beginning? I need to, I need something.

I don't know what that's what's going all right now. I think you just need to get your fucking vagina so rocked right now that you can't think straight and you just reset. And then you're no longer going to be malfunctioning. Yeah, we need to like, like, beepo, boobo, we need to like, yeah, big back. Apple noise happened with you. I need a reset. Someone sent me home. Because I'm going to throw it out there.

I still, even though not in this movie, but who's up there, I'm going to say it, and this is scary. Alan Alda. I've always wanted to have sex with Alan Alda. I was going to put him at number two. I thought that would be too controversial. I just want him to be my father.

I know. I love him, but I always loved Alan Alda. Yeah. He's wonderful. And not Ray Leota in this movie, but usually Ray Leota. He's so good in this. Dude, this cast is unbelievable. And can I also just throw out there that I think that the industry of divorce in this country is a fucking complete piece of shit. You're just saying that because you're scared that you're going to get divorced.

You see a movie. That Lexi's going to take your child away from you. Will. Have you seen her eyeballs? Nobody's going to deny her everything she wants. No, I'd give her. I would be behind her, be like, listen to her. Never give him the kid. And then the bad man yelled at me.

I did not yell. You know, and that's how it would go. You know what? And I get that. And what I want you to be doing is, wait. So, Molly, you didn't finish it. I didn't finish it, and I apologize for that. You have nothing to apologize for.

You have nothing to apologize. Are you familiar with the show company? Are you familiar with company, Molly? I am not familiar with company. It is. Now you have something to apologize for. No. That I have to apologize for it.

Now you have to apologize for you. You don't have to apologize for not finishing it. I think that the Sonheim musical company is a big part of this of what is happening. I'm not going to get into it because it is spoilers. You haven't gotten to this part yet. But he does sing a song that is the opposite of what is happening in the musical. I just feel like you're exactly stating what happens in a sort of spoilery way. Is that a spoilery way?

I say he sings a song. I mean, you said they're not going to get too far into it. I said he just described exactly the scene. But I didn't explain what happens. I didn't explain the emotional journey. I just said he sings a song. I wasn't expecting that, though, I will say. Yes, it comes in a really cool moment,

and it's one of the highlights of the film. So I'm looking forward to you getting to that point. I think that it's like, I was describing because you guys know that I said that I watched a trailer multiple times and that I cried every time I watched the trailer. But I thought that Noah Bombach did a, Noah Bownbach did a great job in showing the trailer. And I feel like that is how they felt about each other.

And I mean, it is when they first fell in love. And I love that this movie, you don't see those people because this is only about the end of the relationship. And those people that they fell in love with don't exist anymore. They do, but they're versions of it. And I think that's what's really important. and what he really hit about relationships, is that in the end, when a relationship is falling apart,

you don't see it anymore. You don't see that person you fell in love with. And I'm getting upset right now, just thinking about it, because it is, and it just, oh, my God, the way you scream. I had to go look this up because I wasn't completely sure, but yes, Bombok, by the way,

did marry actress Jennifer Jason Lee. Interesting. They met while she was starring on Broadway in proof. and they married in 2005. Oh, were you looking it up to see if you also was dating an actress? Yes. So they got married. They, what, they got married in 2005.

They have one son. And Lee filed for divorce from Bachman on November 15th, 2010. So I do think this is absolutely biographic. So that brings me to what I have. It's not necessarily a criticism of the movie, but it's like a question that I have, which is it seems like, there's a lot of art right now in the last like five years like that has been made about art it's like biographical art right like it's art by artists about being artists right yeah and a lot of it is very very good right like Barry is about being an artist big sick is about being an artist there's like so many examples uh you know marriage story is very much a story it's a marriage story but it's also like

actors together story, right? A creative people together story. And so like there are so many stories by creative people about what it's like to be creative person. And again, all of the ones I cited are like examples of doing it incredibly well. And especially if you've ever been a creative person that's like maybe all right about my own life. It's like stories to aspire to.

But I also like isn't, I'm not saying that like they should be stories about like, I'm not saying that it's not good to have stories just about being. a person who's trying to figure out whether you want to live in L.A. or New York, but isn't that so extremely specific and niche that, like, perhaps it's, like, too much a story that really only creative people, like, not saying people who aren't in that life

can't relate to it, because it also is a story of marriage. But I guess it just felt a little bit like I was in an acting class, you know what I mean? I would love to talk to people that, because I feel like I am surrounded by creatives. And I very deep, the reason why this was such a gut punch for me was because it felt so close to my own life. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Well, honestly, even yesterday, Jake from Wizard and Verser is in town. He's never been to L.A. before. And the way he complains about L.A. is exactly what Adam Driver is in this movie, where I was just like, it is,

because it is so based in reality of like, y'all all have the same fucking complaints. Yeah. But again, it is also the same response. Why it's so great here, but the space. And then it's like the cynical, New York of like, no, I'm a New Yorker.

I'll never love anything outside of New York. And it's very funny to watch out in real life. And he doesn't even know because he hasn't seen a marriage story. Right. At least I'm assuming. And I feel like that debate has been part of my life for the last like 12 years. And then there was part of me when I was watching it that I was like, well, do other people

care about this? Because like New York versus L.A. is such an extremely specific thing that is relatable for many, many people. And again, I'm not saying that if you live somewhere else that you can't relate to the story, but it just, I guess all of the, it's not even, I'm not making a particularly strong point because all the examples I cited were very good pieces of art,

but I guess I wonder if it could veer towards the navel gazing, you know, I guess, like. I would be very, you're right, I would be very interested to talk to a normie. Normie. I guess if I have to, they'll be like, oh, this is what I bought at the grocery store today. I'm like, focus, focus.

I just need to ask you one question. I need to talk about the life of a creative right now. I never want to talk to you again, Normo. What did you think of marriage story? I thought it was like groceries. All right, I can't even have this conversation right. Oh, the movie's like groceries! It's the most wonderful time of the year.

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Shipping exchanges and returns are always free, and plus, the $20 styling fees automatically apply towards anything you keep from your box. Now that makes my silver bells go dingling. Discover new styles and find unique pieces with Stitchfix. Get started today at Stitchfix.com slash page 7 and get an extra 25% off when you keep everything in your box at stitchfix.com slash page 7. Cintchiafix.com slash page seven. Well, it seems like the people that create the Golden Globe nominations are creatives

because obviously marriage story is up for a bunch of them. No women allowed. Everyone is upset. It's ridiculous. It is ridiculous that there is not one female director on the list. When there were, I mean, honestly. Yeah, a lot of great. Lulu Wang from the farewell, which I have not seen the farewell yet,

but every person I've talked to is like, why are you not watching The Farewell right now? One of the best movies that has come out this year with a bullet. I cannot believe she did not. Mariel Heller with It's a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood, which we talked about this on talking TV. Do you think that was Golden Globe material? Yes, for sure.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. She did such a good job capturing the essence and the feeling. And it just, I mean, I told you, I sobbed through that entire movie way more than I cried through the documentary. did in the farewell. I cried through the entire film. It was like a slow burn cry.

I've never experienced anything like that in a movie. I literally just quietly, slowly wept. There was no big, like, moment at it necessarily. And that's why I can't wait for you to watch a beautiful day in the neighborhood. Because it really, Jeff and I both, and then we just kept looking over at each other. We're just the streams of, yeah, never a, but just constant crying. Just a constant emotional connection. Yeah, it sounds like they should, at least one of those should have been nominated.

Yes, that or Amaharrell for Honeyboy, which that's another one that looks amazing. Olivia Wilde, book smart. I mean, Greta Gerwig, obviously, for, I mean, we haven't seen little women yet, but we know. We can only imagine that's going to worry. We know what it's going to be. So no female directors were nominated this year, even though it was a huge year for them. There was a lot of snubs and a lot of upsets, but, and no, I mean, you know, of course a lot of good ones, too. I'm still going to watch the hell out.

Are the Golden Globes? earlier this year? I don't know. It's on January 5th. Oh, weird. We should talk over on. I just, I thought, I love talking over things. It's like the first day back to work.

Right? I, I don't know why I was assumed it was later on. So I guess they're just, um, their speed, full speed ahead. Can I just go ahead and say. And yeah, I don't care about the two posts. Give me the two, give me the, I don't even know about the two popes. I watched the trailer and honestly, popes. It's just two popes.

It's popes. Is it like grumpy old men, but popes? You know what? I would love that. I fucking wish that's what it was. There's just some hot nun in town all of a sudden. And they're both going after her at the same time. I mean, I've definitely watched that episode on, you know, Red Shoe Diaries before.

But, uh, no, this, I mean, I'm sure it's going to be good. It's Anthony Hopkins. More like the two nopes. Are you proud of yourself? Do you like that? Did you enjoy that? You're scared of me right now? I'm afraid of you.

I'm like, oh my God, I'm at the zoo, but all of a sudden I leaned a little too far over the rail. I am a panther in a cage. Nightgank, so it's Jonathan Price and Anthony Hopkins. They are popes. That is what I know of it. And I saw the trailer before A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood, and I remember looking over at Jeff and just kept pretending to fall asleep. I'm sure it's going to be great. I personally don't care.

What is it? Is it a TV show? It's a movie. Oh, okay. about popes and apparently everyone is just like one of the best movies

I've ever seen outstanding performances sublime script superb direction I just I'm already asleep I'm sure I know it's gonna be well anytime you describe a movie

as superb you've lost me I just I know I just I want someone to watch it and be like you should really watch this I don't like I'm scared priests creep me out specifically the death

of the priest, the pope, definitely scares me. I don't know how there's two of them. I don't think there should be. But how about the fleabag priest has redeemed all priests for me? That's true. The whole Catholic church should thank him. Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum.

I feel like the two popes is for the type of person who prides themselves on like how vast their vocabulary is. Sure. You know what I mean? They're like, I know more words than you know. You're a colliculary. Yeah, I'm a colliculate. Yeah, exactly.

They use fucking dumb words. that all the time and like try to pass off like they didn't totally attempt to like put that word in the sentence to make themselves look smarter fuck those people and fuck the two pops um i will say another one that was a snub this year regina king did not get nominated for watchman i know you guys are not watching watchman you oh my god well who's watching the watchman oh i am who watches the watchman jacky watches i watch the watchman yeah you watch the watchman it is oh my god oh my god this last episode oh my god oh is it superb I'm in the room while Gideon watches it

So I know it I'm not following the story But I know enough that she should absolutely Have been nominated for a Golden Glob So good I mean I'm sure that Gideon is the same way That I wish that Gideon was here for this show Because Jeff like pauses it and like geeks out at me Geeks out of me geeks out of me And all the insane little details that he loses

Which I love the watchman But I don't I've never studied the watchman Yeah it's the kind of comic Well it's a graphic novel I guess more specific But it is the kind of work that the reader is rewarded by reading it multiple times. I've read it probably three times at this point. And yeah, it is something where you notice little details

every single time you read it because of just how vast. Alan Moore is a bit of a genius and a warlock. Yeah, yeah. Self-reclaimed wizard. But he, of course, hates when people take his property and do stuff with it, so he's not in any way attached to this work. But it sounds like it's getting the respect, the work, the source.

force material is getting the respect that it so deserves. And now there are no Golden Globe noms for cats. And I know that we are all very, are there? Beautiful Ghosts. I'm asleep. I'm asleep. Molly the beautiful ghost. Oh, I'm sorry.

This was that there was no acting ones for cats. Taylor Swift's song, Beautiful Ghost, which I will also agree is a bit of a snoozer. Snooze alert. But I will say this. Plans are in place, Molly. we got to rope you in if you haven't been already. Lexi is working on getting us all for my birthday to dress like dogs and go see cats.

Yeah. When I get back into town, I'm getting back into town on the 26th and I'm hoping it happens. If it does happen, we will take many photos and many I'll go by myself. Yeah, you will go by myself. I will go by myself and I'll dress like a dog by myself. And I'll go, I'm the bitch. I'm the bitch. Dress like a rat.

Okay, I'll dress like a rat. Just scream every time a cat shows up. But the reason why I brought this up was because Jason Derulo, who is in cats, I think I'm saying his last name properly. Sure. He is a musician. He is very, very attractive. Have you seen this picture from Instagram?

He had posted a picture on Instagram of him getting out of a pool in Bali that someone had taken a picture of. And, oh, ha, I hear the angels singing. It's like a Greek cucumber. You know what I mean? The long, really long one. He's got these tiny swim shorts on and his penis is the size of my arm. It is so long. It's so big.

It's so thick. And I'm sorry not to, I shouldn't talk like this about another human being. But yummy. Al-Uga. Al-Uga. I'm going to go and say he is, quote, quote, presenting in this photo. So I think you're allowed to speak towards it. I, it is not, yeah, it wasn't that he was not aware that this photo was being taken or that the photo was being put out on social media.

He put it out himself. Now, the Instagram took down this picture because, quote, violated the community guidelines on nudity or sexual activity. But you don't see his penis. Yeah, they can't do that. You can't do that. You can't do that. I mean, it is, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's reminds you of wrong, I know this is the wrong podcast, but it reminds me of. Winner's

dick pick that he, like a, it's just like a, it's a dick pick, but he's wearing boxers. Yeah. Right. And so it's like,

I mean, he did, obviously it is ever really sexually, I mean, I am charged. I'm definitely charged, but I was charged when I sat down at the table.

This is great because I feel like now that you're, I think the photo has actually looped you into a new state of being. Oh. I think when you get the thirst, you stop malfunctioning and you become whole Jackie again.

Yeah. So, oh, so I need to be this thirst. Yes. I think we need to be this thirst. to have men's penises, photos of them on stage to know. Ma penises. Give me maw.

It's the antidote. Jason Durullo is fighting back against it. He said that it is discrimination against his size. He can't help his size. And you can't just take it down. You're right. It is not nudity. He has underwear on.

He says that lots of women also, you know, women post pictures that are more revealing. How much of my breasts do I show on my Instagram? I was about to say it. And you're mild. I mean, how many booty models are on there? Yeah. Like how many women are just put little stars over their nipples. Yeah. That's fine. That's ridiculous that they would say it. Yeah. But more

importantly, what I think that I wanted to bring up the most was that he says in the picture that he was not aroused. He said he had a semi. He said when it's fully aroused, it's a different beast. It leans more to the front. You feeling me? Yeah. So if it's just on the side and it's just chilling on the side, it's a semi, it's a semi vibe. which, oh, mamma me. And that's what I kept saying when I was explaining it to Holden and Molly. I was just going, Mama Mia. It's a spicy meatball. Wow.

Wow. No, no, no. I don't know what it is. I think it's like a rigatone. It's a spicy Italian sausage. This article actually was more just talking about the fact that apparently a porn site offered him half a million dollars to share actual nude photos of himself and he said no which you know good for him good for him good for him for him for posting the picture that's ridiculous that they the difference

between the anthony weiner pick is that it was like a you know unsolicited dick pick and it was disgusting and this is like a pleasing scroll through it if you want to stop if you want to um you let your imagination do the work uh you know he you can't tell somebody you that they can't wear shorts on the internet. That's ridiculous. I really, now, I forgot to go and look at the thirsty comments. Oh, I'm sure that. Right.

You're unbelievable. I don't follow him on Instagram, but I guess I should get. Uh-oh, is that a big ass? Yeah, we are looking at another, we are looking at a big ass right now, and it's actually the Times Entertainer of the Year's Big Ass. Lizzo was named Times Entertainer of the Year, which please look up or purpose. the magazine of time because her on the cover, she's in this sparkly vaginal design that is just, she looks like a goddamn goddess. But this over the weekend, she went to see the L.A. Lakers. And while watching the L.A. Lakers, what she was wearing, she had the, I'm assuming that is a T-shirt dress that went down to her knees.

but she had cut the ass out of the t-shirt dress so you could see her ass and her thong. And so in the middle of the game, she started twerking on the sidelines and it was put up on the Jumbotron and everybody flipped out. And a lot of people were saying that she should be banned

from ever seeing the Lakers ever again because it was inappropriate. It's just like, come on. Apparently years ago, a girl flashed her tits at a World Series game and now she is banned for life from ever attending a...

Is that baseball? Yeah, that's baseball. World Series? Yeah, that's Jackie. Is that baseball? Cup? Is there a cup? Is it a hoop? And she got banned,

so people are calling for Lizzo to be banned. That was bullshit that that girl got banned. She should have gotten banned for showing her tits. And of course, Lizzo shouldn't be banned for showing her ass. People, have they ever listened to Lizzo? Of course she loves her ass and she's showing it off. What the first? fuck is wrong with people.

And of course, I mean, it's not, of course, it is upsetting because she said that she had based her look on Rihanna's look when she was at the Council of Fashion Designers of America Award show in 2014, where you can see all of Rihanna's big

beautiful ass, and no one said any comments about how she can't do that, how she shouldn't do that. And Lizzo is coming out and saying that it is fatphobic that people are saying this because they don't want to look at her ass. Are, I think the only The only point you brought up that I semi agree with is just that, you know, it is a place where there are a lot of young children. I mean, and then the difference between that and the fashion awards, I don't know how many young children really frequent the fashion awards.

That is my only thing. I don't think she should be banned, but it's also like, it is a little inappropriate to be showing your ass when there's a bunch of like, I think it's different when it's your show or when it's a fashion show and this is like an honest, like this is an actual choice. I know that she didn't ask to be put up on the jumbo tron shaking her ass And you know I love Lizzo And I do completely That's true I mean that is a good point They could have just cut away I mean

They could have cut away They shouldn't have like she wasn't asking for that But um I do And I believe completely in her response What she said who I am And the essence of me And the things I choose to do as a grown ass woman Can inspire you to do the same

You don't have to be like me You need to be like you And never ever let somebody stop you or shame you from being yourself. This is who I've always been. Now everyone's looking at it, and your criticism can just remain your criticism. Your criticism has no effect on me.

Negative criticism has no stake in my life. So she's taking it all in stride, and she's fine with it, and I get it. Never let anyone tell you what you can and cannot do. But I also, it's the same where it's like, I'm also not going to take out my pussy and start touching on myself in front of my parents, but what are you going to do, Mom?

Right, right. What are you going to do, Mom? I don't know. It's not the same thing. I know it's all the same thing. They know it's all the same thing. I'm just saying for me. And I'd be counterpoint to all of that is that, you know,

the cheerleaders in those events are quite scantily glad. Are also showing a lot. They're also showing a lot. That's the thing. That's the thing. If there is no way that anyone would give a shit if Lizzo wasn't fat, you know. And I also would posit like fat and black. Like even though also Rihanna, you know, was able to do it and not get shit.

Like, this is central to Lizzo's size. And like. I think that the idea, I mean, yeah, if a woman got banned from the World Series Special for Showing her, that's dumb as hell. I can't believe that someone did that. But that is insane. I mean, that is ridiculous. I think because then it's over the top.

She definitely shouldn't be banned. I definitely, I just personally think that's more just like a, maybe don't do it again, you know, kind of thing. I'm proud of her for being able to do those things. And I really hope that, I don't think that they're going to ban her, especially now that she's times fucking entertainer of the year. They're not going to do that. And I'm glad that she's out.

they're fighting the fight for, because it is true. I mean, I used to get shit like that all the time when we would do sketch comedy, and people were like, you're so brave when I would go on stage in just a bra and like a really teeny tiny skirt because I was doing a character. I was like, well, I'm not trying to be,

why is it that I'm brave when I do that? But other people doing that, like you have a whole other viewpoint of it where it's like, no, I'm not, I'm honestly not even trying to be brave. I'm just being a character. I just think it's funny. And I think that this character

would have my big belly, slumped over a teeny tiny skirt. These two stories are so interesting next to each other, I think, because like, uh, the, the, like Instagram banning this guy for just having shorts on, right? Like, and then, like,

them trying to ban Lizzo for, like, for having like, you know, for showing her ass. It just seems like we have such a, our society has such a bizarre relationship with sex where it's like, We need to be horny all the time. But if you actually, like, admit you have a body. Don't be too horny. Yeah.

Yeah. Then you're, like, then you're going to jail. Unless you actually have a body that you, like, documentedly used to, like, be aggressive to people, in which case, like, you know, it's, like, cancel culture. People try to tell you to put your dick away. Unless, also, unless you are a body that someone that is on, like, a Fox News wants to look at. Like, if it's, like, if one of those, you know, it's like, they want to look at it, then you're, Fine, you have that.

Okay, I'll start showing all. I'm showing the nipple. And I'm showing tip. You know what? That's what we're going to do with the show tonight. I'm showing nipple and you're going to show tip. I'm going to do, yeah. And we are going to scare everyone in Los Angeles.

Yep. And I'm, you know what? I'm okay with that. Oh, I got a little mushroom in my pants. Oh, never mind. I take it back. You're not allowed to have any fun. I mean, I don't even know if we want to get into the whole Nick Cannon.

and Eminem debacle. It is so dumb. He's bad at it. And I get it. Oh, my God. Well, we have to at least bring it up. Yeah.

Because I think if you guys have been on the internet in the past five days, you have seen that Nick Cannon and Eminem have brought back their feud. Well, Nick Cannon. Well, no, no, actually Eminem started it. And M. started.

Well, kind of. Kind of. So I'll just give you a quick rundown. Nick Cannon was on T.I's podcast earlier this year. I remember it because we referenced it not too long ago when he said that he would get back together with Mariah Carey and he had said

something that like oh I wish I could like face off with Eminem now because of what Eminem had said to about Mariah Carey what was that in the 2000s? More like two nooks. Holden you're about to get Christmas canceled

I'm trying to be entertaining I'm trying to be entertaining. I'm in my jammy Jamms, it's hard. It's the jammy pants. They're very holiday jammy pants. Yeah, they're holiday jam jams. Look, you can't even get his leg up to show Molly. They're red and black plaid. I see. They are, they are,

they could wear them in January, but you can also wear them in December and call it festive. Thank you, jammy jams. I like two naps. Ugh, two notes. I hate you. Just sad enough and then it becomes funny. And then Nick Cannon, so he said, that he was like, so this is all back, dating back to the feud when Eminem possibly most likely slept with Mariah Carey, used the voicemail of her in his song and was going against her. But that was back when Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon were still married. They are not married anymore. And Nick Cannon said that flippantly on a podcast. Eminem responded last week on Fat Joe's album. He did a stanza on one of his.

I believe it's the term is sonnet. I believe it's sonnet. He did a single... A run, a literary run on one of Fat Joe's songs. The prompt was Nick Cannon. The response...

Oh, no. Malvoggin. Malvoggan. And then Nick Cannon heard that, and he decided to put out a video. I just, you guys, got a lot. there are two different videos.

I think I watched the invitation. And Nick Cannon, I don't know a whole lot. I will say that. But I do know what love is. Right. And he... Not functioned.

Yeah. Keep going. He responded with his squad and essentially said, like, he was throwing all these old epithets at M&M. But you ain't got no legs, Lieutenant Dian. You Jenny.

We can still do that, right? Jumbot trip. Eminem was saying that Nick Cannon had his balls chopped off by Mariah Carey. And then Nick Cannon shot back about how like, oh, you must have dug him up from the grave, Fat Joe. He's so old. And this one video that he has his like disc jockey morning haunt

that he goes to. where he reveals new couplets. Yes. Of sorts. And he was actually was just like, what are we going to start calling Eminem? Prilasek?

Oh, no, what's that name of that? He said Perkisset. Oh, percocet. Which makes no sense. No sense. And then he said, that makes even less sense. It makes even less sense.

It's not a candy. It's nothing. And they said, well, no, we'll call him Cialis because that's, yeah, that's what old people take. So. And then you. pop that Eminem and he's saying all this stuff and then he puts up this video of him and his squad from Wild and out and this is not a good song it has I think it's I read in an article there's like

as 14,000 likes and like 60 something thousand dislikes it's really it's really bad yeah it's embarrassing it's not a fair fight man I do not even remotely care what Nick Cannon thinks in general, but to go against Eminem and to be like, oh, yeah, you did get my balls, but they're in the grave with you. It's like a real cell phone, you know? It's like, man, he's so old. It's not, it's not. It's troubling.

It's rough. You got to look away. Yeah, and that's your biggest thing. You're old. Eminem is 47 and Nick Cannon is 39. Yeah, so. It's not even that big, but like, what are you talking about? It's ridiculous.

And also Eminem is like an old, like, in the way that like a respected master of his craft is old, you know. Yes, totally. Everyone reveres him as an incredible wordsmith and worder and he is a good worder. And yeah, and, you know, and I get it because at the end of the day, well, I guess, I guess he'll make money off of this. What, you can already see him trying to capitalize on. Well, that's what he's doing. Come on wild and out. Come on wild and out. It's like, he's not going to go on your dumb reality TV rap show. Like, that's not how it's fucking works, friend. But what I think my favorite part is, is don't worry, 50 cent had something to say about it.

He decided to weigh in and support Eminem against Nick Cannon. No one cares about you 50 cent. 50 cent had a, I believe he's the one with the vodka, right? Is that 50 cents liquor? Does he have vodka? I think you're thinking of Dan Aykroyd. Oh, I forget. I do confuse them.

The two of them. A lot. That is, no, he's got, oh, he's got, oh, yeah, that's what it is.

Because one of his hashtags is hashtag Branson Cognac in his rebuttal, which is his brand of liquor. His repost, yeah. And in the small part of Brooklyn that I used to be the manager of a pie shop in,

50 cent came to the corner store to like sign bottles when the liquor came out. No one showed up. No one showed up. And to the point that like 50 cent got, I remember seeing him drinking from a bottle sitting on the stoop out front

where I was like, at that point, you should just go. Were they going to have to purchase a thousand dollar bottle of champagne to get it signed? Or whatever the about, I mean, whatever booze that he was doing at the time, because I think he has champagne, he also has cognac. He's got like a couple of different ones. I saw the headline. I was like, launches a thousand dollar bottle.

little champagne. I'm like, of course no one showed up. No, and especially... Whoever would buy a thousand dollars bottle of champagne isn't going to go to some dinky shop to get it signed. That's what it is. Yeah, it's effin vodka. Oh, okay. But, uh, yeah, so no one cares about you, 50 cent. I'm already tired of this story and he's doing it for Wilden Out.

I didn't know Wilden Out was still a thing, but I guess that's what part of this fucking thing is. Wasn't Wilden Out the thing that... Dude, I'm pretty sure Wilden Out was the thing in the East Coast Studio back when it was in a different part of Greenpoint, that it was like we had to keep pausing recordings because Wild and Out was taping, and they were getting real loud.

Wait, where? In the same studio. No. I'm pretty sure. You were getting real wild. They were wild and out, and we had to like, yeah, I kind of remember this now. Well, they do improv comedy games

that are injected with a hip-hop flavor. Ooh. So, are you kidding? No, I'm not. That is what this is. It's been on for four. seasons. Wow. And I mean, this is just not the kind of thing Eminem would ever do. I mean, they're doing something right, obviously. But we do get a new disc track probably from Eminem, which is always nice. So I guess at the end of the day, you can almost thank Nick Cannon. I just can't wait to hear what he has to say. I'll love to improv comedians. But the idea of an improv comedian hip-hop show host, who also is known for his time with America's Got Talent and, you know, kind of.

being with Mariah Carey for a while and her being out of his league, him being out of her league, and then going at fucking Eminem and Eminem just being like, I don't give a fuck, I'm not gonna go on your fucking show. Talk about the mismatch of the century.

If you want to hear more about how Mariah Carey treated him like garbage, please listen to next week's episode of Pop History, Mariah Carey Part 2. Because she really, I just, is the word a cuck? Is that what it is?

I don't want to be negative about him. He seems like a very nice dude. It's just like, man, just be nice. Being mean is not your thing. Like, just be nice. Yeah, it's coming off like a... Right, you can't do it. It's like when a teacher at a school

tries to like rap for the kids. I mean, I called it a stanza. Yeah. Like, I'm not going to be doing. Like, there's a reason why I'm not a hate. And everyone's just saying, like, watching that video, It was how I felt like, oh, it's a special assembly, guys.

The biology teacher, Mr. Henderson, he's going to perform his rap for you. He's got something to say in a crazy way. I like biology. I think you would too. You know? No, I, oh, I do know. Simply having my eyeballs seeing right. Simply having my contact shoved in my eyes.

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Oh! Who's on the list? It's always weird with lag. Decky. Gotta have that list. Oh, we're back to Christmas. Eight legendary monsters of Christmas. Are the two peps going to be on this?

No, we're not going to talk about the popes. Not going to talk about the deep-seated molestation that runs through the Catholic Church. Which we didn't even get into talking about Christmas music this episode. I did want to throw it out there that someone that is a member of the music band, Wild and Blue, sent me their new holiday song called Holiday Lights, and I loved it. So please check it out. And that is my Christmas music corner.

I'm not in Christmas. I'm not anywhere near Christmas. I think I'm going to feel Christmas the second I get home. The second I get off the stage. tonight I will feel Christmas. Yeah. And I tried to watch a, it hurt. I tried to watch a Christmas movie last night,

and I was just like, n-h, n-h, me that sound. So tonight is the night. But for right now, that's why we're going to talk about Christmas monsters. As we all know, crumpus, crampus exists, and you never want to go against the crampus. Oh! As a tool to encourage good behavior in children,

Santa Serb says the carot and crampus is the stick I love that whoever wrote this list is perfect Crampus is the evil demon anti-Santa or maybe his evil twin Crampus may look like a devil or like a wild alpine beast

Depending on the region and what materials are available to make a crampus costume Grampus night is celebrated on December 5th The Eve of St. Nicholas Day in Austria and other parts of Europe I'm sorry, I've been doing my fuck-o-pop games every morning. We love those. And so I've been working on my accentos.

Right, scintas. And I'm getting really good in it. You are. I'm like a shapeshifter. Yeah, you're like your own little scary Christmas devil. Oh, what am I? Am I the Jolokoturing? Yeah, I think you are the Jolokoturing.

Ew, no, I'm not, because he's an Icelandic Yule cat. He's not a nice cat. In fact, he might eat you. What? This character is tied. Maybe he might. He might eat you. This character is tied to an Icelandic tradition

in which those who finished all their work on time received new clothes for Christmas, while those who were lazy did not. Holden, you're going to be nude. Iceland, man, between this and that the Great British, baking holiday one. Did you see the one with that weird Icelandic pastry? They got some fucked up Christmas traditions. Man, they know torture. They understand. Oh, I know exactly the one you're

talking about. And to encourage children to work hard, parents told the tale of the Yule Cat, saying that Jolakuk Turin could tell who the lazy children were because they did not have at least one new item of clothing for Christmas. And these children would be sacrificed to the Yule Cat. So if you don't get new clothes, you're going to get a pocket. Uh-oh, I don't have any leggings on anymore. Oh, no. That's what happens. You're going to, you better get new fucking jammy pants.

I better get some new jammy pants. I'm going to get, maybe I'll get your cat themed. That would be cute. Or maybe you should get flow perched-themed. Why are you look upset? This makes me upset. These are mean monsters. I know what I mean.

The joy that is Christmas. It's because I'm anti-Christmas for this one day, and that's why you all have to pay the price. Because Frao Pachhta, who hands out both rewards and punishments during the 12 days of Christmas, she's best known for her gruesome punishment of the sinful. She will rip out your internal organs and replace them with garbage. Oh, have you already been visited by Frow Purchta? Because your insides are garbage.

Yeah, I'm looking at her right now. Look at a mean witch. Frow Jackie. Frow Jackie. Visited me in the studio this morning. Pulled me out of bed. Oh, are you sure? Maybe I was imposing as Bell Snickle?

No, I'm pretty sure you were frowl. Oh, no. Yeah, but Bel Snickle is a male character. I don't want to hear about Bell Snickle. Next. Next one. No. He's from the Pennsylvania Dutch, you fucker.

Bill Snickle carries a switch to frighten children and candy to reward them for good, no, for good behavior. In modern visits, the switch has only used for noise and to warn children. Is it the two nopes? You're going to, you're not, I don't believe in corporal punishment, but if I did, you'd get fucking slapped right now. You'd, you would. You get whipped. Yeah, you're going to get. Switched.

Frowl. Schnarkles staring at me. Bell Snickle. What about Hans Trop? Is it like, what is it? Isn't it the, isn't it the trap family? Is it Hans Trop? The Trapp family from Soundam Music. Von Trop, yes. Well, the Hans Trop is another antisanta, antisanta, who hands out punishment to bad children in the Alsacean Lorain regions of France. And the legend says the trip was a roommate.

a rich a greedy evil man who worshiped Satan and was an exor communiatican from the Catholic church. When do you think they're going to take the French accent away from us as well? When do you think they're going to take it? 2020. Rumiier is the one who introduces. If it was going to happen, Uncle Jesse would have had it happen to him from the live version of the Little Mermon. Yeah, that was amazing. Yeah.

That was probably my favorite French stereotype performance. That was just out of control. Remember when he called Prince Eric Prince Albert by accident? He said, I should have been Prince Albert, Prince Eric. And it's obviously not like a jape. Right. A jade.

Ah, soliloquy. And what about Groyla? All the you lads, all the you lads, all the you lads. They answered to Gryla, their mother. I hate this list so much I fucking ate this list It's mean Everything about it's mean

Everything about it I feel like represents how you truly feel in this moment I enjoy what I'm I'm have that's it That's all for your monsters That's all the monsters you get Bitter faced Finding this list being like Mel Snickle You got belsnickled

This will make the kids fucking upset It was late when I found this list Yes, and I was angry. Oh, my word, my stars and my seas. Colbel Snickle. It appears that, even in the bright sun of the Los Angeles Day. What is it happening? That I have actually found myself.

We can't see them. Wait, no, we are supposed to say blind. You say items. I'll do it again. No, let's not do it again. Oh, my God. You're about to get fucking Bell Snickleck. right now.

It's like, roll it back. Roll it back. Don't roll it back. Just tell us the blind items. Blind. We can't see them. Great. Fucking cool.

Glad you did that. Oh, God, his cursing is out of control. Shit. Billsnickle. You're not going to get any new clothes and you're going to get fed to the cat. Oh, I hate this. Which one is this one? The yule cat.

The yule cat. And Jackie already, Jackie has a deep cut from page seven history of Night cat, so I feel like Jackie is also Yule Cat. Oh my God, I'm Knight Yule Cat. In the holidays, I become Yulcat. Swite. Swipe. The A-list rapper met with people to talk about his own cable channel so he can ask for money 24-7.

Do people realize he is keeping all the money for himself? Gee, who could it be? Who's insane? And a rapper. Kanye. Absolutely. Apparently, Kim Kardashian is not happy with his crazy behavior lately. Oh, is it the opera where he painted himself all silver?

Molly, did you see, look up pictures of silver conier. Have you not seen this, Molly? Have you really done to see this? Very scary, very upsetting. I'm so jealous, you get to see this for the first time right now. Yeah, silver Kanye. Kanye is going through a really tough time, says his source right now. Oh, my God, it's like a tin man.

Right? He's very scary. This was for his opera that he performed at Art Basel in Miam. Yeah. Wow. Apparently he's just got a lot of, with his mood swings. and it's just really hard for Kim to deal with. What you see on Instagram and what you see on the show is not real,

the source told Radar. Yeah, and Kanye will be watched even if he doesn't know about it, the source said. He says he's fine and he doesn't need help, but Kim's nervous, so she's making sure he's under a watchful eye or five. The source also said. I mean, yeah, he is in a very scary spot. Yeah, he seems a little unhinged.

That's the thing. I feel, you know, I, Kanye has done some, things that have made me no longer team Kanye in the last few years, but I also am like extremely concerned about his undiagnosed mental health. As far as we know, undiagnosed mental health issues. I think he's just, I think it's more of that. Yeah.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's got to figure that out at some point. Well, here's one that might knock your stupid hat off your head. Now I've heard everything. This one might blow through your soul like a tornado. Oh, I know. off my head. That one you may never walk away from the same again.

No. Oh, I'm scared. The security personnel who surrounded this A-list singer slash, ooh, shady, bad actor have been really aggressive about pushing people away who have a phone. He was already a jerk to fans and now has taken it to a whole new level. Who's in Trubbs right now? Justin Timberlake. Yes.

Justin Timberlake. Lake. There are, because of what happened with Alicia Wainwright and them holding hands on the balcony in New Orleans. They have now, there are phones are fully banned. But people are criticizing his people for just even letting him sit out on that balcony with her like that. I mean, if you watch the videos, not to say that this is any consolation because Holden, I've been blackout drunk many times with you and I've never touched your thigh. held your hand. I have a story of that. Okay, so in college,

I had just gotten back from my study abroad thing. Yeah. And I had a girlfriend at the time, a different Lexi, and I was buddies with my next door neighbor, and I got hammered and woke up the next day, and I vaguely

remember doing this. I think I thought he was her, and I was, like, rubbing his back and stuff. Whoa. And he was like, what? I thought it was nice. But I wanted to crawl up and side myself and die for the rest of the day. Because you don't touch. I don't.

And I was mortified, especially, like, very sensual touching with, like, with another man just made. And not, there's anything wrong with that. No. But it's not really, in my character. But also, it wasn't your girlfriend is really the most, like, the biggest issue is that it was not your girlfriend. Yeah, yeah.

No, the bigger issue is that she didn't care because she had been cheating on me the entire time. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I remember. Oh, I remember evil X. Yeah, yeah. So, but, but either, regardless, I did have one instance of doing that.

But still, I was like, fucking. trashed and I was in college. And I guess also usually you don't usually remember that is fair. I've definitely made a lot of choices I shouldn't have. But honestly, never with that good of a friend that I hadn't made the decision before I was blackout drunk. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? And so I know that we're not even going to get into this as it is the end of the show.

But the fact that he came out and was just like and had to do the whole apology thing and it does seem very Guilty. Yeah. But I guess, but also what do you do in that situation? You can apologize, do you just apologize privately or do you apologize publicly as well? Molly, cut his penis off, yay or nay? Put it in a timeout.

Okay, all right, put the penis in timeout. I like that. My wife looked at my penis and pointed out and said, you're in timeout. That's a terrifying prospect. That's the beginning of our own marriage story. Yes. Oh man, the one that you're already very scared of actually happening.

Well, thank you guys so much for joining us. I'm sorry, I feel like I'm taking out. Now I've been taking out my anxiety on both of you guys, and I apologize. I feel broken. Yule cat! And I might feed hold into a cat later on today. And we love you very much, and thank you guys so much

for coming along on this journey today. I feel a lot better than when I started, so maybe I saw this, Thank you for joining me for my therapy session today. A lot better now, too. I'm ready to fucking rock the socks off of a live show. I'm ready to sock rock. Crocodile rock.

A cock in my sock. Rocker die a sock. And call on the dog and talk on a sock. Love you guys. My name is Jackie Zerowski. Follow me on Instagram. You want to Jack that worm. My name's Holden McNeely.

Maybe I'll get out of a pool on Instagram soon. Holden MCN. Also, Twitch, twitch. Twitch. Twitch. Twitch. Twitch. slash Holdenator.

So also, but also, but really most importantly, guys, check out Patreon. Patreon.com forward slash page seven podcast. Guys, we are putting out so much fucking free content for you guys for just $5 a month. You can get another episode. Usually it's Jackie and I taking quizzes out of 17 magazine or BuzzFeed or talking about the TV shows that we like more in depth than we're able to want the show. Holden is 100% Baby Yoda.

I'm 100% Baby Yoda. He took a quiz. He's 100% Baby Yoda. I would say actually Lex. and I are 100% together. You're 100% together.

So I'm here with 50% Baby Yoda. Yeah. Oh my God, dude. I'm so happy to be. Oh,

Misa. That's not what he sounds like. Molly? But my name is Molly Neffle, MMJK, Elcat. And also, I think that my actual baby looks a lot like Baby Yoda.

Yeah. Oh, my God. Yeah. Oh, she needs ears. Yeah. She got her the ears. She'd be arrested for not. painting that baby green and putting little ears on.

Thank you. I love you guys. Love you too. Have a beautiful day and we'll talk to you next week. Bye. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors, you can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.