Page 7 - Episode 334: Pregnant with Cats

Episode Date: January 2, 2020

Make no mistake, we're just screaming about "Cats" this week. Go to http://honeybook.com/page7 for 50% off your first year! Chicago! Pontiac! Milwaukee! Come see Page 7 with Wizard and the Bruiser on tour next week! Get your tickets here Samba Isobel, Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/   Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Page 7 ad-free.Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

It's Jackie Wormtimes. Zabrowski, she's made of worms. Here to invite you to the Page 7 and Wizard and the Bruiser live show in January. We're going to be in Chicago. We're going to be in Pontiac. We're going to be in Milwaukee. So come out and visit us. You can go to Last Podcast Network.com slash P7 Live to get tickets.

I think you might like it. Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum. Was there ever a cat so cold. as magical Mr. Mustaphaelis. Oh, well, never was a girl. Gapalabazzu's magical Mr. Mistakales. By the end of the chat, I was screaming.

Yes, we did pause up. We did pause up in the era. I was standing and just screaming the lyrics because I just welcome, guys. I mean, I want to say welcome to episode of page 7, but I think welcome to us talking about cats. My name is Jackie Zabrowski, and I am a kitty cat. And I meow, meow, meow, meow, and I meow, meow, meow.

And I am searching everywhere for Holden butt McNeely's. Not to them. Yeah, Holden. My name is Molly Neffle, and this is now a cat's podcast. There's no other content all year. You can't 2020. This is rebranded. Yes.

We're just going to go deep on every aspect of cats there is to discuss. Because I know that one hour is not going to be enough. I am flabbergasted. Every boat in my body is confused and also delighted. I'm the happiest I've ever been and I'm the saddest I've ever been. I want to say don't listen to this if you haven't seen cats yet. I know. But honestly, the amount that I drunkenly talked at Edward Larson of the Bride

side on last podcast network. He was like, I'm not seeing cats. I don't need to see cats. You sit next to me for 15 minutes and I can get anyone to go see cats. I want us to do, I would even potentially consider touring with it. I want, as soon as that DVD comes out, I need for us to do live. Live cats. Like in the style of Rocky Horror and will dress like dogs like we did for my birthday.

Yeah. I am so on board with this. Even honestly, let's do it every year around the holidays. Sure. Let's do a big show. Let us know, guys, if you were listening to this and you would come attend this and do this because I'm serious. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

This has to be, we can single-handedly turn this into a Rocky Horror Picture Show phenomenon. And this will be our next live approach to a show must be watching cats. Because I had so much to say I was just bursting forth with it. And I couldn't speak in the movie theater because other people were the movie theater. But also, I think we were stunned. I kept looking over you, just being like, oh. Yeah, that too would go. Molly was like two seats over.

Like in between us was Lexi. And on my left was Brooke. And poor Brooke, who I think was just being sweet to come out and just was just so everybody. So did she have no idea what she was getting into? So we are talking, of course, about Ben Kissel Blast podcast on the left. Lady went with them to go see cats. Yeah, and we had a big group.

We all dressed like dogs. And, you know, I think, first of all, let's talk about our different audience experiences. Because that was a fascinating ecosystem. Really, half and half. People around our age clearly set to get completely hammered in a movie theater and scream with laughter at this movie. and then like older people who actually, and I'm shocked to say this,

went in with the expectation that they were going to see a movie. They were- A good movie. Going to enjoy. I feel like now this is going to be something that forever, it's like that where were you when JFK died? I will always remember my first cat's experience. And at one point at the end of the movie, Gideon, Hohlin goes, shout out to everyone in the theater

who is drinking White Claw and the row ahead of us goes, Madello! Yeah! Yeah, yeah. I, um, we were obnoxious and we definitely ruined a lot of people's day. Yeah. But that was because we were watching it. Shame on them.

Shame on them. I will, although I will say, all right, so let me set up my experience for you guys. I went with, so much to say. Got Daddy, I went with my mother, and I went with Henry and Natalie. And we went at the. the 1 p.m. showing the day after Christmas in white old people, Florida. So the theater was packed, but it was also one of those, like, it was like the big, like, recliner lay down seats. Like, it's the nice theater.

So you can't really see everybody. You can just hear everybody in the theater. You can hear you guys being like, ah! It was, I also had other friends. I had invited a friend of mine from high school who had brought six. other of my old friends that were also dispersed throughout the theater. So we were kind of everywhere, but not all together. And the problem is that at 1 p.m. the day after Christmas,

it's filled with old people that want to see a picture show. That's Andrew Lloyd Webber wrote, didn't you know? And so afterwards, you know, we will talk more about my actual, the moments and how we were during the movie. Right. But we were immediately called a woman pulled on Jeff's shirt and said, you know you're rude. Oh, no.

All right. Yeah. Sure. Did you see, do you know what we just saw was rude? It was fun. What we just saw was a rude. Every ounce of what was put by making it showed a complete lack of respect for any human, intelligent audience member. And also I will say it wasn't like we were going, boo, fuck you cat.

Like we were having, we were cheering. And every time, you know, it's like we were meowing, we were singing, we were laughing. It was, we were having a fun time. But I will say that another family came up to us afterwards. And it was like a middle-aged mom, her two teen daughters, and probably her mother and her aunt. And she was like, I just wanted to say, was this, I feel like you guys know, was this supposed to be bad? No, no, it wasn't. I just wanted to say thank you because you guys enjoying it made it a fun experience

because we thought this was supposed to be good. So thank you for enjoying it so much because it in turn made us enjoy it. And I was like, thank you for saying that. Thank you very much. I, like, did not set it out to go to, I mean, admittedly, we were with a big group of people dressed as dogs. But I was like, it is possible for us to not be. We walked into the theater.

And there was clear, there was one, the Robbins was like, hell yeah, this is the way you got to see cats. I was like, good, okay, good. So I was worried about getting a bad reaction. Right. But there were definitely, I could see it. I was just trying not to make eye contact with people who were definitely like, oh, fuck.

Group of dogs. Group of dogs. But despite being a group of dogs, I was like, it is possible for us to not be assholes. We're just going to sit and watch a movie. I think we were pretty respectful, by the way. I definitely said a couple things at like a few different parts. I definitely laughed, cackled throughout many parts.

But for the most part, Like, I wasn't trying to be Mr. Joke Man in the theater. No, we were-I-hate that guy. No, we weren't making any excessive jokes. It's just that we couldn't stop laughing. Yes. Because it was, and then the most amazing thing was that by the end, the whole theater was laughing. Like, we were all laughing, like, we were all sitting around in a circle together telling the best story of our lives.

Like, we were all, like, doubled over the road ahead of us, the row behind us. And so that is, I know it's like, I know it could, it is still rude. But it would have been impossible to see it in the theater without having the reaction that we had. 100%. And that's why I do look forward to future public viewings of this movie because it will be more everybody's in on the joke, essentially. Whereas you could tell, like somehow these people made it through the media cycle of this film coming out without having it. I thought it was actually going to be good. Yeah, I was shocked. And it was definitely older people who just are, you know, they're, you know.

Yeah. They're on their way. on their way out. That's probably what, I assume that's what I will see on my way out. Like, and, you know, what the after,

like, what the white light and everything is like. Yeah, the heavy side layer, I'm sure. Stop and he's throwing fucking giant cards at me. Yeah, when I start to lose my mind in old age, just play cats for me all the time. So, so,

yeah, we definitely, that was the coolest thing definitely was, like, the bonding that happened throughout the film. Yeah. With, especially we made friends with, like, people to the left on the row in front of us and people to the left in the row behind us, who were, like, way, way.

And I was high-five and I was, like, cackling with their comments, their mean comments. But, like, we, you know, for the most part, yeah, I said the white claw line, we did pause up for Mistophiles, which was amazing. I mean, I did, yeah, I did stand up and clap and sing along with Miss Rosenthali. I will say I did that. But if you have seen the movie, you understand why.

It's the crescendo. Yeah, it's a crescendo. And when, I'm spoiler alert, when Judy Dench comes in after that, I will say most of the theater went, yeah, because it's fun. Yeah. There was a point where it turned into a sing-along, specifically you and Lexi started singing,

and I remember thinking, I can't believe we waited this long before it became a sing-along. And what, I can't remember, was it Mr. Mistophiles? Probably Missedophiles, maybe McCavity. Yeah. McCavity, McAWad with Taylor Swift's turn.

Cavities? Not there. Just, and by the way, I want to issue a correct. I was like, oh, the two joky cats. I'm talking about the cat thieves, which is, is it, Rumtum Tugger, and I hate the other one's name.

More than Rump Tugger. It's two names. It's two names. It's, um, oh, God damn it, I'll have to look it up. I'm also trying to look it up because I know exactly what you're talking about, but I can't remember. I can't remember their name. Briar Rose or something like, I don't know.

But either way, just, just, that was terrible. But I guess actually, let's take it back from the very beginning, like initial concepts. of all I was upset because I wanted to see the title so that we could all bark at the title before going in. But they didn't really show a cat's title. They go and we come right. Oh, they go right into it. They jump right in. The jellical cats, which is definitely a just Please don't just say jellical cats. Jellical cats. And I think everyone was still giving it a shot a little bit at that point. But boy, oh boy, do we just get right in there

with, what's her name? Rebel Wilson, eating cockroaches. I can't. We have to wait to get to that because that's insane. But also, their names are Mungo Jerry and Rumpelteeaseer. Munga Jerry and Rumpel Teaser, yes. And can I say that one of the most challenging experiences for me throughout the film was that I couldn't tell

what famous person was what cat, because it looked like their faces had been cut out and sewn onto a cat suit. I am so curious. I'm cats, I'm a level curious about the idea that you guys saw that they released a different version of cats because apparently Tom Hooper was working on,

or like, you know, the production team, working on cats up until cats came out. Yes. Because there was such a reaction to the trailer. And yet there was still like weird render errors in the initial cut. We got the patched version of the film, which I'm very disappointed and saddened by,

but it was still a complete fucking shit show. Jennifer Hudson sang the shit out of every moment she was on the screen, and I was immediately brought into it. But it looked like her face had been cut a little cookie cutter of her circle. Like a serial killer, sliced off her face. Sown onto a virtual cat suit.

Like it was. absolutely nightmarish. I would find myself being like so drawn in by her and then being like, where's the rest of her face? Here is the rest of her face, but also what I couldn't help but stare at. See, I will say, during memories, because we all know memories, I was

silent and wrapped. Because Jennifer Hudson, they just zoom in and they're like, don't look at anything else. Yes, yeah, Cass is ridiculous. But look at how she sings a song. I went from laughing so hard I was crying to stopping and almost crying at memories and going back to making fun of it.

But what I couldn't not stare at was her full human hand with fake nails that was in the screen while she's singing cats. So that is one of the things that they fixed that we unfortunately did not get to appreciate. And I am so bummed out about that. They fixed that, I believe. Oh, so I did see. Oh, yeah.

If you saw it like day after Christmas, I'm pretty sure you got the OG. It was supposed to be, I think, the Sunday after its release, it was supposed to be completely, which is insane that this is something that never happens. They very rarely re-release a movie,

especially the same week. And I was reading this article about it that in, like, the last, because it's very, very expensive to do that. And that the last movie that they had apparently done that with was in 1980 with Disney's The Watcher in the Woods because they had to completely redo the ending.

And yet still, that was re-released a year and a half after. its release. Yeah, I mean, I cannot imagine them putting out this movie across the nation and then being like, ah, fuck, we forgot about the human hands. Right. I, this, okay, so this is definitely, well, this is, if Hopper's really working on it to the last minute, I think this is definitely a case of, oh, he made that Les Mez that won a bunch of awards and everybody watched and, like, a lot of people really loved. Let's just, uh, carte blanche for the next one. I will say Tom Hooper loves cats.

I think that this is a man that loved cats and wanted to see it be as magical as he wanted it to be on the stage on the screen. And you know what I will give cats? What? He's singing, I will give cats,

the singing and the dancing is fantastic. My heart goes out to Francesca Hayward, by the way. The ballerinos in there. The performers did a great job. Agree. No one was terrible. Maybe James Corden. James Corden.

Yeah, but whatever. And kind of rebel a little bit there. And that's what we start with, by the way. Right. But as a musical in general, that's the first mistake. That was his first error, my friend, was thinking that this movie, or this musical, rather, is it all good?

Look, people were crazy in the 80s. Coke was like water back in. You throw Coke at the cab driver at the end of a cab ride. Okay? That's the kind of situation Katz is coming. coming out of. Right. This is not for any sort of value.

And I think that that's the key. And the lay-miss comparison is such an important one because in order to make, listen, you can turn any musical into a movie, any live stage show into a movie and it might be, most of them will be like fine. In order for it to be a good movie, I think it has to have a good plot. Like, Le-Miss actually has a fucking story. Oh, this plot is so, any plot that involves. Well, most of it is introducing characters.

Yeah. It's just period going to be terrible. Yeah. But I also appreciate, too, like in the VHS, because he used to watch a VHS copies of cats, I was worried that Tom Hooper was going to put in a bunch of scenes in between trying to make it make sense. And I respect the fact that he is aware that it makes no fucking sense

and that he just didn't even try. And it was just song to song to song to song, almost no acting, only singing. But to your point, Jackie, I can imagine that that this, if there is value to be had from this musical, it is value that comes from watching it as a live theater production with singing and dancing. Because we love singing and dancing. Singing and dancing is fine, even if the songs are dumb. But like, what, like, taking something that is, that is specific to a medium of the live theater and then putting it into the medium of film and trying, a la lame is, to build this world. around it when it's a fucking nonsense world. All I could think was I wish there were

this many cats in the real world in the streets. There's cats everywhere. But you know, you'll get fleas everywhere. Yeah, it'd be horrible shit everywhere. But I will say this too, though, is that, like, I think that he tried to meet that middle ground that you lose with the live situation of seeing these live people

dance and sing in front of you. He tried to replace that with just a thick, heavy layer of special effects with EGI. To try to make that the fun special. Yes, that was the biggest mistake of them all. Because at least if I see a terrifying-looking human dressed like a cat in a theater, I'm like, well, it looks terrifying because it's a human

dressed like a cat. Human can only look so much like a cat. But on screen to try to replicate the terror of the real-ass original costumes, but make it all virtual somehow so that you knew if you reached out and touch them, they wouldn't even be there. It was absolutely nightmare.

Just atrocious. And then also, like, we're not even mentioning, sure, sure, the kids hats themselves, you're on that bent. But what about all the other bad shit, CGI shit going on with the fucking cockroaches that I brought up before?

With, uh, the Jenny any dots, like the entire Jenny Annie Dotts song. Yes. Made me want to crawl into myself and die. I hated every second of it. And that's like the first song, by the way. I was so mad. I was so mad.

So I also, I had to like 20 minutes in be like, Jeff, you got to stop because he kept bringing up the disparities of size. Yes. Problems of like why this is so big and why this is so small. And he's like, but then it was finally when he's like, why are the mice children and why are they smaller than the cockroaches? I know, Jeff. I know, I know, I know.

But you can't bring up every single thing that's on the screen or else you're going to be talking about the entire time. Right. What a continuity nightmare for whoever was doing that. She'd get a non-award. Also, though, I feel like the one-two punch at the beginning of getting, first of all, you've got Rebel Wilson, and then right after that, you get the fucking, what's his fuck face? James Corbyn's number right after that was essentially like facing off against Mike Tyson. It was just, I'm lights out by the end of that.

There's no coming back after those two numbers. Both of those numbers. Ooh, his tail. How dare they with the tails, by the way? All that tail work. Whoever had to do that should be locked away in pervert jail. The bit where he nuts himself, I was like, oh, come on. Are we really?

Did they do that in the live theater? Or is this a fucking cheap shot, like, you know, animated film joke that everybody goes, oh, he nutted himself. I don't think the nut himself happened in the... No, we do not need a fat cat nutting himself dressed like James Corrid. dress like James Gordon. And now at least it makes sense because I think we did see the non-patched version because it did go back and forth in the same scene of him wearing the suit and the shoes and then him having regular cat person feet, cat hybrid people feet.

So it kept going back and forth. And it's that in the tailwork of Jenny Annie Dodds, Rebel Wilson's character, she kept singing into her cock slash tail. multiple times and it drew I just like stop doing that just stop it's old hat and you're already you've got all the oh god the cockroaches and the

that was awful the children mice made me so I think the thing all right so I had a cat at one point that I kind of hated that I was sort of forced to have because my girlfriend at the time in college and the thing I hated the most about that fucking cat was it would run outside and grab it the biggest cockroach you could

find and bring us the gift of it and like play with this cockroach in front of us in my living room, and I just despised that. Do not drag real cats into this whole thing. I'm just saying. Real cats are wonderful. I'm just saying. Those cats have nothing to do with real cats.

Those cats look like ferrets, if anything. Tall and thin. All I'm saying is, if you want to charm me, don't eat a cockroach in front of me. That's going to do the opposite, Rebel Wilson and company. I'm sorry, we're already lights out. It's done. Big laugh moments, by the way, early on was definitely, I think it's the, I think it's the first time you see Ian McKellon, he goes like,

meow, meow, meow, meow. Miao. What was the fuck with that? I wish I could have recorded the argument that Kissel and Henry got into last night because Kissel's like laid down the gauntlet of, I don't think that Ian McKellen, I think he was the worst part of the movie. And Henry's like, how fucking dare you? He's the only one on that screen that was attempting to be a cat.

And they're screaming at each other at a bar last night about it. Because Henry, Henry is, he's gone in the deep end of cats Because we all know that they had gone to cat. Everyone went to cat school apparently to learn how to be an act like a cat. And it seems like I don't know if Ian McKellen refused to do it, which would make sense. But it also, if you notice, I don't know if his suit was digital fur technology. Because he had on a tailored coat with one huge button on it for no reason. and even though everyone else had normal size clothes and buttons on for cats,

even though some of them had pants on and some of them didn't, which I also didn't make any fucking sense. And but him, I would say the Ian McKellen shining moment, I have never laughed so hard as I did when he was licking milk out of a bowl. I've never seen such commitment. And then Jeff stood up and went, that's Sir Ian McKellon. Licking milk out of a bowl.

I also would love to talk a few minutes about Idris Elba's six-pack fur. Mew! His intros and exits were the funniest thing I've ever seen. That was going to be my second big laugh. Was all of those. Look at every last one. Didn't at one point go, Miss Tavoli! He went like...

He said McCavity. Yeah, McCavity. Yeah, he makes a gesture as he vaporizes into thin air. Papyrises into dust. Yes. But also he has like a skin suit of fur. Like he has fur, but he also has like a sculpted chest with the fur, which nobody else had. Nobody else looked naked in their fur.

When he showed up, you could see his muscles under that fur. But was that, I found it to be a very uncanny. You horned up, yes. Everything in here was a misguided attempt to trying to make you oddly horny. It was like maybe they'll ignore. all of how awful this plot and the songs and particularly the names of the cats are if we could just make them an inch horny of five percent hornier when they walk out of the theater and and i you know i i love idraselba and a listener tweeted at me that apparently there it is recorded forever on this show that years ago i said i would fuck eidrazelba in a garfield costume uh and so now it's put to the test and you know do you like do you how do you feel like about Mondays. I do not like Mondays.

That is something that we have in common. Something you have in common. But I'm not saying I wouldn't sleep with Idriselba as he looks in cats. But I'm also saying I do not like it. The fur chest, the sculpted fur chest was very disconcerning because everybody else is just like a like a, like a, you know, they don't have like Taylor Swift had like nipples. Right, right. Taylor Swift was the only cat with breasts. And I don't know if you noticed that,

but she was the only cat with breasts. Right, I believe, and I believe there were more breasts in the trailer and that they actually, due to criticism, sort of maybe remove some of the breasts. You want less breasts? Yeah, I think they were so confused as to why people were upset.

I need to write a sketch about the reaction to the trailer. You know what I mean? Because, like, I just feel like that room must have been fascinating. Just, like, so confused as why people are so. so upset or not upset laughing at whatever they are about the trailer, right? And then that meeting to fix the movie before it was released must have been fucking amazing. Heads will roll if we don't figure out what it is about this. It's the brass.

Everybody but Taylor. Everybody but Bombolarina needs their breasts removed. You got to leave the breasts on Taylor. I think it's interesting though because with the Sonic the Hedgehog movie, the outcry of hatred of how Sonic was designed was properly and, they threw money at it, fixed. Yes. Why did it, when all of the outcry and outrage that happened with the cat's trailer,

that Tom Hooper, I don't know what he had been working on. I'm sure that he's very upset about it, though. I'm sure. Well, it's a good wake-up call for him. You know, I think it's due time. For sure. The problem is, is like, with everything going on, I mean, what do you... Yeah.

Okay, Jackie. How could you fix it? How do you... Okay, Tom Hopper comes up to you. Hey, the... I don't know why, but the trailer came out and everyone's, like, making fun of it. thought I had like a really good musical on my hands with this all-star cast that was going to make me millions of millions of dollars and get like Oscar noms and everything,

yada, yada, yada, right? Why is it bad? And what do we do to fix it before we release? We actually had this conversation is that it seems like since everything was CGI, every single thing was CGIed, that they just couldn't handle the background, the outfits, the face, that they couldn't hand. It seemed like whatever, or they needed a lot more time to do it properly. Because I don't know if you guys stared at this because I, once I noticed that I couldn't stop staring, their feet.

Yes. Their feet, not that they even that they were human, but that the fact that they never touched the ground. Because they were floating the entire time because it was all fake. And I think that it was just that they needed probably, I'm going to guess, another year at least to properly do the CGI to make. it all look right. So like it's almost like pick one. Go full digital with like the costume or go and leave the sets real. Uh-huh. They do the Zubli Zoo effect. That's what they should have done. They should have done real costumes and have the real performers because they're dancers. They should be able to have the freedom to dance without having all the things on them.

Or maybe they couldn't dance the way that they were supposed to with the kind of costumes they wanted them to wear. But fuck digital fur technology. It's digital fur technology's fault. It doesn't matter. None of this matters because I'm going to go ahead and say that what I've always felt from when I first saw this musical as a young child, a young child who loved tons of awful shit. This is probably one of the first times I ever went, you know what? That's not good was to this musical. You saw it live in a theater. Yeah, I saw it live and like my dad tortured us with these musicals.

He would listen to the fucking soundtrack of the musical all week leading up to it, all day leading up to the. showing of it too. It made me fucking crazy because like I would just like want to watch the musical just so I could no longer have to listen to it in the house because my dad would stop. That's so cute. I totally want to be the dad that's like, all right kids, we're going to listen to cats for a whole week. Forever. And I remember afterwards being like, well, that was, that was interesting. And my brother was just like, no. You're right. Yeah, this is fucking bad. I mean, just fundamentally from a plot outline, you can't just introduce characters for a full hour and a half and then give us some rules at the end.

By the way, put the rules in the beginning of the fucking day. Judy Ditch wants to give us rules with five minutes left. A cat is not a dog. Is that idiotic phrase? That end. I had to piss so bad. And I was like, shut up. Shut up, Judy.

Why are you looking into the camera and telling me the cats I'm doing? I don't cats. Looking into the camera, God, that was really where I thought I'd lost my mind, actually lost my mind. I was like, is she looking at me? Well, I was so stoned out of my gourd, too, that I thought she was talking to me. Yeah, that's the thing, too. I was on heavy edibles as well, and I think that is time to say that.

And most of us were drunk, and I was, I poured a big thing of bourbon. I mean, we were pre-gaming for this. This was my birthday celebration. And by the way, and I feel like we're really doing a lot of time shitting on this movie, but I have to reiterate that this is still a movie you need to see. You just go see it. I enjoy, it's one of, I'm going to say, one of my top movies of the year. One of my top moviegoing experiences of my life.

I have never had so much fun. I'll never forget it. I have never had so much fun watching a movie. But Holden hits on the central problem or the central question, which is, is the film bad because the musical is bad or is the film so especially bad as a film in ways that aren't even fair to credit to the musical? See, I will say that the musical, not to be like this, but I think that the musical, from a singing and a dancing standpoint,

How dare you? How dare you? And I think of the actual musical because they, like if you ever, you watch the VHSs, right? They dance their fucking asses off all their same.

I love it. You said VHSs. It's amazing. It's just how dated the... Well, because I had the double VHS. And I would put... I mean, I'm going to say if just listeners, if you've never seen it,

look up an image of it right now and you'll still just be like, why? It is also scary. Yeah, very scary. And I will say that it's the anti-lala land of the fact that... I'm proud that the lead was actually one of the heads of the Royal Ballet. Yes.

The person that, what was it, tapy taps on the railways, he's an actual Australian tap dancer. Yeah, yeah. He did great. And by the way, and my heart goes out. Skimble Shanks. Very important. Everyone knows. His name is Skimble Shanks.

He hated so much. I hate it so much. You know, Molly, I'm going to say this right now. I don't like cats and animal either. I'm biased, I'm biased, but you know what? See, that's a separate conversation. This movie made me happy to be a dog lover, baby. No, cats.

Chuck one for the dogs. I went home to my real cats, and I just stared at them and thought about how their proportions are so different than what I had just seen. Right, and even the choice of being like, okay, and they said this, they were like, no, they'll be like humanoid cats that sometimes are on all fours,

but other times they're just on their fucking hind legs standing fully upright like humans. We don't give a fuck. I'm all over the place. I wanted to go back to... I wanted it... What was that going to talk about? It just...

Yeah, the plotting of it is... Is that... Was it Robert Pattinson? Robert Pattinson. Was he Mr. Mistophiles? Who was Mr. Mistophiles? No. Mr. Mistovies is played by Lori Davidson.

Lori Davidson. Because I was looking at him the whole time being like... Like I said, I couldn't tell who was who. I was like, is this Robert fucking Pattinson? Is Robert Pattinson? Is Robert Patton's? Is Robert Patton's?

Mr. Mistopolis? No idea. Their faces look so weird. I thought Mr. Rosafli, I thought he did a great job. Everybody honestly did a fair job. Lexi said Taylor Swift doesn't really have a voice for musicals, which I kind of agree with. But I will say I still enjoyed her performance. I did not like the shrill sound of the singer's voice in the old VHS tapes, as we're referring to them.

I thought, so I actually was more palatable me. For me, her performance, even though it was still, yeah, not amazing. Francesca Howard's performance of her song, though, I really liked. A beautiful ghost. Yeah, she did a great job. The moments I appreciated. And yes, memories as well, but honestly, you're right. As much as I want to love Jennifer Hudson's performance,

and I'm always going to fucking like her performances of songs, the face is just one of the scariest. Yes, definitely. What I was very excited about with Jennifer Hudson was the trailer. Did you guys have the trailer for Aretha, where she's playing Aretha Franklin in the biopic about Aretha Franklin? No, did we see trailers? That was right before cats, and that made me very excited.

We didn't get, did we just not get, by that point were they so ashamed of the movie that no one wanted to put a trailer before it? That may have been the case. I think it started raw. I can't remember. Yeah, I definitely left to get water during what would have been the trailers, but I didn't see any.

And I was just straight fucked up. But like, but like, yeah, going back to the whole thing of just definitely see this movie and see this with your loved ones and see this, just celebrate. this film because we don't get a lot of these a lot of times. This movie could have come out and just been boring or something like that.

I love that it wasn't boring. It is in no way boring. I was captivated every set. We were talking about this beforehand. I had to piss for pretty much the entire film and I could not wrench myself from my chair. I could not get out of my chair because I just had to see the next ridiculous

fucking thing happen on the screen. The next weird choice that just was either corny or embarrassing or hilarious. And And to our credit for, like, quote, unquote, ruining the movie for others, when they did make actual attempts at humor, the deathly silence in that theater. So I don't, I think the people who are watching it were on the same page at least a little bit in terms of that. I think that that's what infuriates me, though, are the people that went to see, like, an actual, like, theater performance,

where did you never see cats? Right. It is fensiful. It is not lay miss. You're not going in to sit down to watch war-torn country. broken up lovers, people dying. It's funcible. That is the point of cats.

You know, I feel like it's more that they were expecting to walk in and have something wash over them like an oxycodone trip. You know what I mean? Like, they weren't going to laugh. They weren't going to cry, but they were literally just going to, like, half smile and just have this thing sort of happen at them, like a lazy river ride. You know what I mean?

But instead they got like an intense mushroom trip. Haunted fucking mansion fucking ride from hell. Honeybook organizing my workload Keeping track of my emails Shielding me from the shame I remember a time before I used Honeybook Please let my honeybook Keep me sane.

HoneyBook is an online business management tool that organizes your client communications, bookings, contracts, and invoices all in one place. Don't let it be a memory. It's perfect for freelancers, entrepreneurs, or small business owners that want to consolidate services they already use, like QuickBooks, Google Suite, Excel, and MailChimp. So stop being a Grizzabella and live in the me. of your workload. Ain't no time like the present to take your job buy into whiskers.

And with HoneyBook, you can automate your busy work. They've easy to use templates for emails, proposals, brochures, and invoices. Maybe it's something Tom Hooper could have considered when trying to reinvent the cat's wheel. They also have e-signatures and built-in automation to save you time and get you paid faster. You know Jennifer Hansen got that check up front. Don't sit and wait around for the first. flop to fall. It's 2020. Take care of yourself. Simplify your to-do list and stay in control with HoneyBook. And right now, HoneyBook is offering our listeners 50% off when you visit HoneyBook.com slash page 7.

Payment is flexible and this promotion applies whether you pay monthly or annually. Go to HoneyBook.com slash page 7 for 50% off your first year. That's honeybook.com slash page 7. Can we please speak to the idea? Because I was ever, I don't think it was ever really established on the VHS's because I've ever seen the like theater performance of it but if you so is it well we know that there are humans in this world right because the cat is dropped off in the beginning by a rich couple that abandons it so you know that there are cats that are owned and there were there's cats that live in houses right but there's not any real a true acknowledgement of humans in the film Is there a milk bar that is the size made for humans? Yeah, I was wondering about that too.

Is this a world, is this the normal world, and we are seeing the cat version of it, or is this a world just for cats? And all I could think about was all of them with all that dancing and all that milk was just a bunch of cats puking up milk in the gutters. And that is what I couldn't stop thinking about. I couldn't stop thinking about how I wish that there was this many cats

in the streets that was really. really my central thought. I was like, there's just cats everywhere. And I also was so glad I hadn't read reviews or really even refreshed my knowledge of the basics of the film because everything was a surprise. Like, who, in terms of all, like, I was like, I think that's Jason Dorillo.

I know he's in it. Like, it was just like every scene that came next was like a true surprise. That is probably the kindest review. that a single person that I've read give this movie, this movie, by the way, almost funnier than the movie, are the negative reviews. Yeah, the reviews are really good.

Please look up the negative reviews because it also, one of them was just like, the only part of, the only review was, it was just one line that was like, the actors really tried their hardest. And that was it, because they really did, they acted their asses off. And so many people I love, Judy Tinch, Ian McKellen,

I really, Idris Elba, I mean, so, And that's, again, what makes it so special and powerful. Yeah. Is how great, the great talent they got to make this embarrassment. Yeah. I saw Brooke in the bathroom. We both left in the middle.

And she was like, there is so much a talent in this film that will never, ever be able to be redeemed within this film. Like, there is nothing they can do to activate the talent that they have. I cannot believe that I actually saw Judy Dinch, like, in an embarrassing light. Ever in my life did I ever think I would see her and be like, man, I feel bad for her. That's embarrassing as fuck. Especially, and by the way, one of the biggest laughs, big laugh number three, when she did the leg lift of approval.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. She's playing in her cat bed and she kicks it up while it's just like, look at my pussy. And I imagine that's what she said inside of her brain and she kicked her leg up. Sorry to stray from the reviews. Did you have some good ones pulled up? Oh, no, I was just looking because someone, there's a whole rant, I think it's on Vulture,

that is about just the butts of the cats. And I forget, because the butts were bulbous. And some of them had good butts. And some of them had great butts. And that is where I, when I saw a good butt, I could not stare, like Skimbles shanks. The tap dancer, great ass. on it, but also why did he have pants

on? And maybe it had something to do. And then, you know, I'm sorry, I just remembered the break dancing cats with the shoes on with the high tops on for no reason. Remember the breakdancing cats with the high tops on? Yes, yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. Another surprise. Yes, another, unbelievable. Like,

whoa, they can't get away with one number in this to, you know, again, Beautiful Ghosts, I felt like it was kind of done, but that was literally just her standing there, you know, belting it out. She had a beautiful voice. And also another, like, great moment in the theater for us was that when, so memory as it appears, it appears several times throughout.

And it's always Jennifer Hudson being there, like, sad and quiet at first, like, memory. And I was like, I want her to belt it. And then when she finally got to the part where she's like, she like really belts it, everyone in the theater cheered. It was very, very satisfying. Yeah. That was awesome. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. Oh, man.

I love it when an audience comes together to be like, we are going to enjoy this. Yeah. Let's have a great time. And it was the cheering. Like I said, I've never heard the roar of a theater. Like when Judy Dench showed up after all of the singing of Mr. Mistophiles. Because it's great.

It should be, again, fanciful. Right. And, I mean, if you're going to wait and watch and see which cat gets put in a hot air balloon and sent up to the sky, you know, as you have. That was insane. That was insane. That was insane. That was that

last scene. With them, with surrounding Judy Dench, I think my favorite thing is what we've been doing in my household is cats listening to each other with like, it's the theater version where like I can't, you can't see me doing it right now, but my entire face is involved with listening to what you have to say. And they did that through, I couldn't stare, stop staring at everyone around. Judy Dench in that last scene as she's just, I don't know, singing about how cats are our dogs

singing the rules. The rules usually a good thing to say at the beginning of the musical. I'm just going to throw it out there at the beginning. One of my favorite reviews or lines from a review was the evening standard who gave it two stars who said,

perhaps musical fans will love it anyway. Perhaps they are one of the permanent mysteries of life. It, like, made everybody think way too hard in these weird ways. Like, everybody has so many weird takes of the, on this movie, idiot. Like, they talk about, like, they were literally, it was like, they went through some sort of a wartime torture story.

You know what I mean? They're talking about, like, the horrors that they saw and the psychedelic nightmare that it was. Yeah, also, even these are nearly as obscene as the human centipede. Everyone, there are, yes, there are people, describing it as torturous. I've seen multiple things. Like, I think my favorite, one of the dumb ones was like, it's the, it's the worst thing to happen to cats since dogs, which made me think of you guys.

Yes. Of course. And another big one is just talking about all of the, they really pulled out every fucking shit cat pun. Yeah. They could. And it's like, guys, and those landed like rocks with the audience. Which again, it made me feel at least a little bit better.

I'm like, okay, so I heard one joke hit. It was a Rebel Wilson joke. I can't remember what it was. And it had nothing to do with a shitty cat pun. And it made like three people in the theater laugh. Every other actual attempted humor just bombed hard. Are all the cast being held hostage? Who thought this was a good way to spend $95 million,

including the most pressing, where are the buttholes? Why? Well, because absolutely Jack all happens in this film. Ludicrous, pointless, and simply not good enough. Bad. James Corden and Rebel Wilson are a unique form of horror at the best of times. And I remember I audibly, one of my first things I audibly said out loud, which I think got some disgruntlement. The couple behind us, they walked out.

I couldn't tell whether it was because they knew we were just going to be pretty loudly laughing at this movie the whole time. And they just didn't get why anyone would do that because they're joyless, soulless people. Or I think, though, what happened was that it seemed like the girlfriend dragged the boyfriend to see a movie. And the guy was kind of like, a dude guy. And he very quickly realized what this was going to be and was like, we gotta go. Just like, you want to watch something else? He's like, oh, yeah, babe. Oh, good, babe.

I saw another couple walkout not too long after that. But I will say, yeah, when James Corden, when I saw the first image of him, I literally just went, oh, God, oh, God. Because I was going through kind of a fear and loathing in Las Vegas scenario while watching the film. I was literally like, oh, dear God, no. And like got some people around. We were laughing at that. Did you hear the person behind us at one point that just went, God, this is bad. Yes.

Yes. Yes. Yes. I also, we haven't even spoken to yet the two times that Rebel Wilson unzipped her skin to reveal cards. to reveal costumes underneath of also her skin. I did not remember that. I allowed went, oh, my God, both times. And then I said, not again.

Oh, my God, that was disgusting. That was horror. And I need to, hopefully, things will be written about this. And, I mean, obviously, eventually we should do a pop history on this whole thing. but I need to know the story of how this came to be and how this happened. Lee Hall is the script writer, but they did what, War Horse,

which is supposed to be really good, Billy Elliott, which was supposed to be good. Rocket Man! I think is she, maybe he, Rocket Man. I really think that what the problem, the main problem was, it's just, it's the editing and that they didn't have enough time.

I'm going to say, source material, and source material, yes. And the approach artistically, like the CGI, everything. And it's so funny to be, well, I guess Lamez was fantastical in certain settings, but for the most part it had this raw feel to it. And apparently I guess people hated Lemaez as well

because there was a lot of like bashing both a little bit with the reviews for cats, but I enjoyed it. As someone that I love Lamez the musical. Yeah. And I enjoyed the music. movie because I thought they did what they could with it, but it's also a huge story. I mean, it's a lot.

It is a lot, but it had this vibe to it of setting, and I know it's cats and it's a real historical event, so it's different, but I felt raw and real and had this, and I think maybe if you did have real costumes and they all looked scruffy,

I just don't know, because again, I would not have seen this movie if it wasn't the shit fire that it purported to be with the first trailer, period. So I don't really know what a world does look like where they don't do the CGI and stuff like that. I just don't know.

I've been thinking about this a lot. Is it because I do think that musical theater can be done in the medium of film. But I think that perhaps there are some things that just shouldn't ever be, that just exist in the medium they are, right? You wouldn't want to turn an improv show into a two-hour feature film.

I mean, some would. But, you know, yeah. People try, but it's just, it exists in the time and the place. And I think that if cats, if, and it's a big if, if it has anything to offer, it has something to offer in the halls of Broadway, you know, but not in a medium of film. I do think Les Mis has something to offer in film because it's a great story. Yes.

It's, you know, every song is good as opposed to. Beautiful relationships. Yeah, right. And the songs are amazing. And if anything, I think the criticism of Layman is, is was that it didn't do enough justice to the goodness of the actual original musical. Yeah, yeah, totally.

And this was like, people were like, wait a minute, is this bad or it's the original bad, or is both bad? And I love how it makes everybody even reconsider, like, what is musical theater, is musical theater as a whole of something that should be re-examined? Is this an indictment of musical theater as

a art form? It reminds me of back when I was doing a lot more live comedy and I would see a comedy show so just atrociously terrible. It made me just be like, what even is funny. Right, right. What is the definition of comedy anymore? I can't tell because of what I've just seen, what my eyes have just beheld, and that is definitely what Katz does for the movie-going audience. Yeah, for the entire genre. But you know what? This makes me think, I want to see a treat, a film treatment like a Christmas blockbuster of like the sound of music redone. Do I, I don't know if I stand by that, but like it could be done. I'm sure that it will happen at some point. I'm sure any of that. But again, that's real people. Right. Real story. situation and they have relationships with each other. I mean, that period. They have relationships with each other.

See, this is what I want next is I was talking about this with Jeff. I want to see the big blockbuster doing of Starlight Express. And if you are not familiar with Starlight Express, it is a musical that is about trains

and their relationships and the everyone in the cast wears roller skates. And the entire stage is built into roller rinks and so as they're singing, they're roller skating and because they are trains. I want to see that blockbuster. And that is, that is an Andrew Lloyd Weber as well, right? Oh, it is.

Isn't it? I think that's arguably his worst. If Katz isn't his worst, then that one is. Have you ever seen clips of Starlight Express because it's, uh, makes, you know, Angel Lloyd Weber is a master of what he does, but some of it, I just can't believe that he gets away with it. Well, it's the same thing that Hopper thought he had, which is like, oh, I can kind of just pop out any

crazy, dumbass idea, and people all enjoy it, and things have changed largely. I implore you, though, to look up pictures right now of Starlight Express. Oh, I've seen them before. It's fucking completely insane. Oh, I'm talking also to anyone listening right now. If you are able to, please look up

pictures of Starlight Express. I just thought we're having a conversation. I didn't realize oh, right, we're recording. I didn't even... We're also recording. This is just because we I've been talking about cats for so many days. And I said this to Molly before we started recording. I feel like I'm pregnant with cats. And then I'm about, like, if I don't get this,

we needed to record this episode. Yeah. I can't stop thinking about it. I can't stop talking about it. I needed to get my opinion out to the masses. And it's hard because I feel really alienated from anybody who hasn't seen it yet. You know, people in my normal life are like, how was it?

Oh, there's a great divide of people who have seen cats and people who have not seen cats. Yeah, I'm like, how do I even? I can't even talk to. to about it, you know, like, how do I talk to about this experience? There's no way you'll ever understand. No. It's also like, Jackie, does Henry like the movie? What do you mean? I don't know. After he saw it, he texted me like, it wasn't that bad, and then you're saying he loves the movie. Okay, he loves it. Like, legitimately? He loves it in the way we love it. Okay, okay. He did also say it was in his top films of the decade. I think it's because we, I really have not.

laughed that hard at a movie in I don't remember I'm sorry I'm just looking at a clip right now that's on silent and they're all running but their cats running with their arms swaying behind that head Henry keeps walking like running like a cat from place to place with his shoulders moving back and forth at the bar was very very funny I'll need was being very funny I'm only sad in it I was saying to Molly because you pulled a notebook out for a little bit right I did I forgot to bring my notebook. And in the middle of the movie, I've never done this ever at a movie before,

but I was like, I have a notebook in my bag. I need to, like, take my notebook out of my bag and write because I'm never going to remember all the things that are going through my brain right now because my brain is firing on all cylinders. But my brain has felt a little bit, like,

numb after all of the crazy life experiences I've been through in the last two years. And I felt like I was coming alive again, watching cats. And so I got out of a notebook, but it was so dark. I couldn't see anything. I was trying to make notes like,

cats are ferrets, and I didn't bring my notebook, and I haven't even looked at it to see if any of the notes make any sense. And didn't you realize we've been talking about this for 50 minutes. We did the full episode. We got to the list. You didn't even need the notebook. We got to the list. We did the whole episode about cats.

I have other things to talk about. I can't. I knew we wouldn't get to anything else. There's so many little things, though, that I will need to go back, and I will need to take notes and do, and we'll do, well, this is, This will never be the last time we talk about this film. No, this is the beginning.

Not the end. But yeah, in a way, it would have ruined my, that was my birthday treat, and I was really out of it on different elements. So it was sort of just, I needed to sit back and just enjoy what that thing was doing. Yeah. But there were so many tiny things that I know I have a thought about and have feelings about that I cannot mention yet. Some might say you've not lived until you've seen Taylor Swift head to toe and fur. Dame Judy Gent.

Dench sporting a ginger beard Henry the 8th would be proud of and James Corden dressed as a fat cat in spats. Others would say they are images you'll struggle to erase for years to come. I think at one point I leaned over to Lexi and said that

Judy Dench looks like the cowardly lion. She does. She has like a beard. Yeah, it looked a lot like the cowardly lion. But the Conradley Lion isn't like, it's kind of scary but not so uncanny because it's just a human in a suit, you know, so you're like, ah, that's a weird suit, but it's not the same as whatever this was. Oh, my God. James Corden's weird, uh, airbrushed body. I can't. We have to, I guess

we should do a list. I had, we had other decade things to do. This is the end. This is the here doesn't matter. The decade. And I think that that is very, I think it's very important. Yeah. This decade that we have, we have grown in a lot of ways as a society. We've been pushed back a lot of ways as society. A lot has happened. happened in the past decade. But the one thing that I thank a higher power for is that cats is what took us out of this decade. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. It really is the best of times and the worst of times. Yeah. Oh, my God. I always just remember the first time I looked over you, Molly, and we just mouth the gate. Just with glee in our eyes. Yeah, right.

We were like scared and amazed, stunned silence. Just unbelievable. Just speechless. Fuck, man. It was very special. So hopefully we'll be showing cats in a city near you. I really want to, I feel like we could actually tour with it. But for now, let's definitely plan some kind of public viewing for the second the DVD hits.

Yeah, got to. And we can't wait for it. But I guess it will let's at least roll through some of the list, right? Oh! Sing it to me. Who's on the list? Jackie! Got to have that list.

Sorry, I almost forgot. the list song. Yeah, you almost did because you're so thinking of ever, ever, ever I got so clever as magical Mr. Mustafa. I'm really like, I'm getting to a point that if I don't get it

out of my head, I'm worried for myself. I'm worried for my sanity. I've desperately tried to get other songs in my head and I can't do it. It's a fucking awful. I've seen a lot of social media people hit us up saying the same thing. They're having the same torture in their life.

It is torture. We're going to go through some of the feuds, fights, and felonies, the celebrity gossip that defined this decade. You forget, man, so much. Beyonce, Solange, JZ, and $1 billion in an elevator. Yeah. Do you guys remember the elevator incident? That was something that we thought that we would never forgive Jayze for.

I've never loved Beyonce or Solange more. Or even Jay Z for being like, you know what? Yes, you can beat me up in the same thing. elevator and we're just going to keep keep on keeping on. I think that they all handled it well. It always will make me think of how many times I've had weird experiences the second the elevator door closes. And I feel like that's something you need to remember.

It's like, think about all the times you have a weird experience in an elevator. And how much do they have to hold it together all the time, you know? And then when the minute they have a few seconds, not in front of other people, it's just like, let me just fucking out. Or in front of millions of people. like Kim Yee versus Taylor Swift. Of course the classic. And all of that happened this decade as well.

Big one. You know, that was like one of her big, I'm going to say F-ups, but she's gone back. She's reoriented it, re-explained it. I will say it reminds me of definitely some drama I've been in before. And everyone's going to hate me right now because it sounds like I'm a Paula Swift apologist. But you know what I am? I love Beautiful Ghosts. I think it's a good song.

I think she performed really well in Magical Misdemeanor. You know Beautiful Ghost wasn't a very good song. McCaffney. You all know it was boring. It was for goodness. but it was not cheesy like those other fucking songs in that musical

Um Was there ever A cat's so clever as a magical Missed awfully I just see Andrew Lord Weber Just covered Just getting blown Surrounded by Mountains of Cocaine

And he's just like you know it'll be a great Fuck You musical for all those fucks out there Yeah He's just coming all over the place He's doing the fucking monologue from Edward is swearing chin and just fucking talking about how cats or, you know, what idiots need. And we came home and we were all a hubbub of like talking about cats, everything. And my father's sitting there, he's smoking a cigarette.

He's like, he's like, cats. Like the musical. I was like, yeah, like the Andrew Lloyd Weber musical. He wrote a new song with Taylor and spent for the movie. He goes, he ain't still alive. And then smokes a cigarette puts it out and he goes, fucking hate cats. And then walked away. I was like, thank you, dad.

Thank you for this prolific review. I wish I see it with it. But anyways, yeah, Taylor Kim Yeh, that was a big, nasty one, man. Oh, yeah. Kind of illegal to play recording. What was to record people who call you on the phone? Yeah, I think that, but other people, I mean, Mariah Carey and Eminem, that happened in that song. So I guess that's. I think it depends. It's the fuck you money that they have that they can just be like, yeah, I'll just pay that off in the courts. Yeah, there's some states have one party, like, consent and some don't. But, I mean, it's definitely, you could say it's unethical, you know.

Oh, yeah. I don't know about illegal. And thinking of all of it, which I actually don't enjoy that this list just says the deaths of Amy Winehouse and Whitney Houston, because we also lost so many greats this decade. We lost Prince. We lost David Bowie. We lost Tom Petty. We lost Robin Williams. You know, it's like, yeah.

God. Yeah, it's insane. We've lost so many people. Who can never forget? Paul Walker. That was this decade. Yeah, I just realized as I was walking here that Michael Jackson was the previous decade, right?

Because it was 2009. Oh, wow. Wow. Yeah. That makes you feel old. Yeah. Time is going by, but then at the same time, it's insane to think of what has changed in this decade as well,

where I was another list that I had pulled up. It was like talking about how Netflix, like the House of Cards was the first streaming show just for streaming service that happened in this decade. Isn't that crazy? Wow. Because I feel like almost our entire lives we've had the streaming services, but it's only been in the past, like, 10 years.

Not even. House of Cars was like 2013 or 14, because I remember because it was like recently enough that I was like living in my second apartment with Gideon and we were like a Netflix program. Just on Netflix. How interesting. A what? It was not that. It feels like fucking two weeks ago to me.

No, and it's insane. I guess, you know, time just keeps on going on going on. but it is I don't know Time keeps up going on I'm going there is magical Mr.

Mesophilies It's all I can think about and I hope that if you are listening to this it's all you can think about because it's time for Oh God I think I'm going blind

Is it because of the cats? Yes Oh God, after seeing that film I don't know My lights My cones are all scrambled In my eyes

They're but holes. All my weird cones. I think I'm going. Blind. We can't see them. Yeah, that's right. You can't fucking see them. Only I can see them.

I'll be doing these blind items as various cats. Oh, no. Skimble shanks. I'm not going to do it. My ears already. I can't. This A plus list mostly movie actor moved into his wife's family home

when they got married. He wants to install a gun range, a gun range that joins a playground of the apartment building next door. Yeah, that sounds like a good idea. This is like... Wait, an A plus what? It is an A plus list,

mostly movie actor. His wife comes from a celebrity family. His wife comes... Her father is a big deal in action films, just like her new man is kind of now... Chris Pratt. Yes. And Catherine's...

Schwarzenegger. Wait, he wants to put a gun range? They are, they're getting weird. He reportedly has a 30 to 40 gun arsenal. They are getting weird. Chris Pratt, man, I would, what a weird flip. I know. He's taken with everybody. Yeah, a lot of people have really had a glow up across this decade, maybe Guy Fieri more than anybody. But Chris Pratt has done as one of the rare glow downs. Like, made, like, he, how beloved. I mean, not that he's not still fucking beloved, but I mean. I guess, but like for me, I definitely Right?

From Parks and Rec, Glory days, yeah, no. Right. This, yeah, I give him two rairs squared.

Yeah. That's another problem, though, is I keep going, meow, meow, meow. Remember when he performed and then afterwards

all the cats lightly patted the floor and went as their applause? Again, he had been calling meow, meow, meow, meow.

And that was like, that was early as fuck. I could even tell you, when anything had, like the whole It's like time, it's a flat circle. Yeah. I thought that it was going to be like a halfway intermission. I was like, all right, we're still

and then I was like, it's over? Right, yeah. It really went by that. You think you're just like, yeah, this is my life now. I sit in this dark room and I watch this. This A-list, mostly movie actress, sent her actor X some poster-sized

photos of them in bed together naked in various positions. They were taken while the couple were together, but never developed. The thing is, the actor is married, and while he will occasionally hook up with the actress, his wife was not thrilled at the sight of the gift. Okay, so let me give a couple more hints.

So, it's an high profile, not as high profile as she once was actress. This actor, he started out, he's one of those shitheads who tried to be in a band for a while, and he was mad that no one took his band seriously enough, even though he got

big being an actor. They were sort of trashy together, a little, bit, even though she's like Hollywood royalty. And then she's, her next husband after that is also Hollywood royalty. Big names in Hollywood right now we're talking about. She has too many kids that she, I think, adopted. Angelina Jolie. Yes, yes.

And Billy Bob. She sent naked pictures to whom? No, Brad Pitt's not married. Who is the other one? Billy Bob Thornton. We just fucked. Billy Bob Thornton. We just fucked in the limo.

Remember that? Oh, my God. Fucking red carpet interview and how gross. that was? Cool. You guys just said sex in the limo who gives shit.

I think that is kind of cool. Isn't that cool? I think that's bragging about it. It's the bragging about it. I hate how attracted to Billy Bob Thornt and I am

especially I just watched Love Actually and I was like, damn if he isn't the most attractive guy in this whole movie. Right. Yeah, I could see that. Not his character, sexual harassment. Not his character because he's gross.

But I I really, like, I would watch that tape. Oh yeah, sure. I would definitely watch Billy Bob Thornton and Angelina Jolie because you imagine how sensual.

their fox must have been. Or look at those poster-sized naked photos. Would be fun as well. Wait, I want to make... See, that's the thing. I bet they look great in those pictures. Can you imagine

would a picture of you with your partner naked in bed would look like? I don't want to see it. I barely want to... I can... I don't have to move the mirror. I mean, that's not true. Sometimes I pull out the mirror.

But that's in a flash in the pan. That's while you're having sex because you're not really like staring at the cravite. I'm not looking at the man in the mirror. I'm looking at the moo in the mirror. So I'm a fucking cow. Don't you say that about yourself.

I'm going to work on it. I got ring fit adventure for the switch. I got the Nintendo Switch workout game. I'm going to start. It comes with like a Pilates ring. I'm looking at the moo in the mirror. I do kind of like I'm looking at the moo in the mirror. It's okay.

It's motivation. It's motivating. It's motivation. Motivation. Motivation moon base, which is our new podcast. out with where we dress, we act like cows, and we fucking talk about workout stuff. Wait, wait, wait, movie pitch, cats, but cows. Oh, we'll call it moo.

And by the way, we'll call it movie. Movie, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, mo, that's how they'll do their jazz hands. Billy Bob did a recent interview with US Weekly, or Us Weekly, rather, in which he recently told, and said him and Jolie were talking. He said we're good friends. We've been friends for years and years and years. So we keep up with each other. She's not in town a lot.

So we don't see each other much, but we talk. Also, moo-moo, I'm a cow, man. Mo-moo, I'm a cow. So they still fuck sometimes? It's what we're- It's what the blind item insinuates, but who knows? He got married to a woman named Connie England in 2014. So for her sake, I would not.

Your final blind item of 2019 awaits. Oh, what's it going to be? Shall I lift the curtain? Yes, please. I feel the momentum. Oh, well. Never was going to get so good. Hopefully you find this fucking clever.

I feel the momentum building. A writer for a weekly tabloid says they have a cover story ready for a slow week that says this permanent A-list actress is set to marry this A-plus list mostly moving actor, who is also her ex. I am sure we can expect. Then expect numerous baby stories. They don't care that it isn't true. They know how many copies they will sell.

And this is actually, even though this might be too much if we get away, related to the last blind item. Brad Pitt. And Angelina Jolie are going to get remarried? No. Even dumber. Jennifer Anniston. Every blind item you ever read, I always want to say Jennifer Aniston.

And now it's the one time I don't say it. A source told us weekly, Brad and Jim have a wonderful connection. that might seem flirtatious at times. They dig each other's sense of humor and have an infectious energy when they're together. But they insist things are purely platonic and nothing more than that.

Have you guys looked at the tabloids? They have been greasing this up for the past, like, three months. Oh, yeah. I've just been like, do you see? They've been seen in the same place during the same week. All right. Okay, they're not fucking each other. Just because they're friends doesn't mean that they're fucking.

I've got lots of friends I don't have sex with. That we happen to be in the same place at the same time, many times. I hope that Jennifer Aniston has a better decade than this past one. Sure. Maybe she is totally fine in her life. I think she's doing great. But she really gets a rough one in the tabloids. I mean, she is, I think, sexier than she used to be.

Like, I don't know how she is a vampire and she's so attractive. It's insane. Yeah. And she's not even much. my type, but still, there's just something about her. I think it's because it's the carefree look of someone that doesn't have children. Yes. I think it's really what it is.

I think if you get to that age and they're like, well, I never had kids, so I've been loving. I've just been, like, working on me for 49 years, so she looks great. Indeed, I would gift my lust to her. Except you're looking at the moon. And the mirror, moo, you need to stop working out. You're not a moo. You're not a moo.

Burgers in 2020. Self love, 2020. I know. Self love, 2020. I got my workouts off. January, I'm going to try to kind of hit the ground running and be good. And that's, but this is bad. This is the bad time right now where I'm like, ooh, I only have a couple more days.

So I'm just eating burgers, slamming IPAs like it's nobody's business. We're trying to do, except for our. tour dates. Yes. Well, never mind. It's like, I'm trying to be good, but then that's a problem is that instead of going to the gym this morning, I went to Denny's. And that's what I did on my last day, like last day of the year.

I'm like, oh, oh, am I going to be good tomorrow? Right. Oh, I ate a slammer. Like, it was like some sort of slammer sandwich that had like five pieces of cheese on and had every meat in there. You never want to order like violent sounding food. It's never going to be good for you. But everything.

is called the slammer though. You don't have any other options. The ballistics missile. That's what I ordered. Like that's what's happening in my intestines right now. Yeah, exactly. Breakfast ballistics. Thank you guys so much for joining us on this predominantly Katz episode.

Hell yeah. And the last episode of Page 7 of the decade, you will be listening to it as the first episode of the decade. And I just want to say thank you guys so much for joining us on this journey because we started page 7. in the beginning of this decade. We sure did. In 2011. Wow. Amazing.

So this is the culmination. You weren't there for it, Holden, so you were exempt. Never ever congratulate Holden. But Molly and I've been there. Don't you move. And I just want to say thank you guys so much for joining us on this beautiful journey of growth that we have all had. And I wish you, I'm not going to start crying.

Why? Yeah, why? And by the way, journey of growth. Journey of growth, is that really what we're? I don't know, man. I'll fucking know. I'm thinking about cats. I was going to say, are you getting ready to fly away

in a hot air balloon, Jackie? Because it sounds like you were trying to get picked as the jellicle cat. Please send me to the heavy side layer. I'm ready to fucking go. Suit up the air balloon. I'm a go. I love you guys so much.

My name is Jackie Zabrowski. Come check us out. Mr. Holden McNeely, Natalie, Gene, myself. 9th, 10th, and 11, in the Midwest. We got Milwaukee, we got Chicago, we got Pontiac. Where's that? We don't know, but you gotta come see us. It's in Michigan.

It's in Michigan. So come see us, check it out. Last Podcast Network.com forward slash P7 live to see which is the Brewser and Page 7 Live. Hold it. Jake, Natalie, Jackie, Molly will be there in spirit, maybe with a video or something, and she'll join us for other live once later.

So you guys are going to miss that one, which kind of sucks. What else is to say about it? Don't say anything else about it. You'll say anything else about it, but we still have got some tickets left, and we would love to meet you guys, and we'll talk about cats if you want us to talk about cats. We'll definitely talk about cats.

All I know is that I'm going to be eating a lot of hot dogs, and I really appreciate everyone that has given me the ups on the hot dog tips. I know we're going to have a Coney's State in Pontiac. Apparently, that is the hot dog of Michigan. So, I mean, I know we're going to get myself a Chicago dog, even though I don't like tomato slices. But we'll figure it out. We will figure it out together as a page 7 gunt family.

My name is Jackie Zabrowski. You can follow me on Instagram at Jack That Worm. My name is Holmignily, Twitch.tv. Twitter, but more importantly, $5 for an extra bonus episode a week. And that's on patreon.com forward slash page 7 podcast. You're very good at it. All right. And Molly?

I'm Molly Neffel and I'm on Instagram at MJK. LK. And congratulations, Molly. You have, you've become a mother this decade. I sure have. Twice. I've become a mother in the last breath of this decade. And it has been a journey of growth. Put me on the hot air balloon.

Journey of growth. All right, you get the hot air balloon. You get it. You got to go. The kids have to go with you because I can't. I am not ready to raise children. I love you guys. And we'll, oh, oh, we'll talk to you next year.

You fuckers. Wow. Bye. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors. You can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.